Influential Introvert: Communication Coaching for Professionals with Performance Anxiety - Are You Holding Back Too Much?

Episode Date: November 8, 2019

Last night I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Speak Up Storytelling, hosted by Matthew Dicks, who you heard on the How to Tell Better Stories on Your Podcast episode of this show, and he revealed a very hilarious secret. Hilarious now, but the story he told was something that he buried for a really long time (it involves an orange thong, awkward dancing, and McDonalds).   Matthew has won many many storytelling championships, authored several books, including Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life through the Power of Storytelling. And he’s got a new novel out: Twenty-one Truths About Love.   I asked Matthew if I could share his secret story with you and he said yes. I’m sharing it not only because listening to him is always a masterclass in great storytelling, but because I also want you to hear his commentary on how doing this thing that scared him set him free, he offers some really powerful realizations and takeaways.    We don’t have to reveal our deepest secrets or greatest shames on our podcasts, but I hope the story you hear from Matthew today inspires you to take action on something you’ve been putting off because you were afraid of what someone else might think.    *** You're invited to join the Podcasting Step by Step Facebook Group!   Also, visit sarahmikutel.com for more resources on how to podcast.   Ready to start your own show? Download my free guide: “8 Mistakes New Podcasters Make and How to Fix Them.”    Looking for a podcast media host? Use my Libsyn affiliate code POSTCARD to get the rest of this month for free and next month free.    I’m your podcast launch consultant, Sarah Mikutel. If you’d like to learn more about me, you can check out my other podcast, Postcard Academy travel podcast. This travel podcast is for the ‘experiences not things’ kind of person who believes travel goes deeper than a fantastic meal (though that is pretty great). Every week, I interview people who packed up everything to start a new adventure in another part of the world. You’ll learn how they did it and get their best insider food and culture tips.    Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

If you're willing to be courageous enough to be a little vulnerable to people, whether it is one person or a thousand people, you will just discover that people will instantly be drawn to you. They will connect to you. They'll touch you. They'll share secrets with you. They'll be much closer to you because of it. Truly, that will be the case. Have you been wanting to start a podcast for a while now, but something's holding you back? Maybe it's fear of putting yourself out there or confusion about the technology. I'm Sarah Mike Citell and on podcasting step by step, I'll break. down how to podcast with a little loving motivation to give you the skills and the confidence you need to finally launch that show of your dreams. Let's get started. Have you ever kept a secret for a really long time? Something that you were massively embarrassed about and then one day you tell somebody and all of a sudden you feel lighter, a weight has been lifted, you smile, why did you wait so long. Last night I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Speak Up Storytelling, hosted by Matthew Dix, who you heard on this podcast in the How to Tell Better Stories

episode. And on the episode I was listening to last night, Matthew revealed a very hilarious secret. It's hilarious now, but the story he told was something that he buried for a really long time. He's so embarrassed. He did not want anyone to know about this. Matthew has won many, many storytelling championships, authored several books, including storyworthy, engage, teach, persuade, and change your life through the power of storytelling. And he's got a new novel out, 21 truths about love. So I asked Matthew if I could share his secret story with you and he said, yes. So I'm sharing it with you today, not only because listening to him is always a masterclass in great storytelling, but because I also want you to hear his commentary

on how doing this thing that really scared him set him free. He offers some really powerful realizations and takeaways that I think can be really helpful to you. Doing something that scares us, starting something before we're ready is so good for us because a lot of us, most of us will never feel 100% ready to jump into something that both excites us and makes us a little nervous. If we wait for that 100% confidence to arrive, we are going to miss so many opportunities. Taking action on things that we're afraid of turns us into braver people. We can't wish ourselves brave. And we don't have to reveal our deepest secrets or our greatest shames on our podcast. But I hope of that the story you hear from Matthew today inspires you to take action on something you've been

putting off because you are afraid of what somebody else might think. Matthew usually co-hosts speak up storytelling with his wife Alicia, but in this episode, he's performing at a storytelling show at the Cropallo Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. And so his co-host today is storyteller Jenny Bonaldo. So that's who you're going to hear a little bit in this episode. Enjoy. It's the summer of 1991 and I am 20 years old and I'm flipping burgers in the grill area of a McDonald's restaurant in Milford, Massachusetts when one of my fellow managers, a woman named Pam grabs me by the arm and she pulls me into the walk-in cooler. She tells me she has an important question to ask me. Pam tells me that Lisa, another one of the

managers at the restaurant is engaged to be married and she is in charge of planning the bachelorette party. I nod. I have no idea what a bachelorette party is, but I like to seem like I know what I'm talking about. And so I just nod and say, okay. And then she tells me, we would like you to be the stripper at the bachelorette party. And I say yes instantly for two reasons. The first reason is because I'm 20 years old, and so I'm incapable of seeing the future in any significant way. 20-year-old boys cannot see anything other than about five seconds in front of them at any one time. And so I don't understand what this yes will mean for me in the future. But I also say yes because I'm kind of excited about it. Pam is 40 years old. She's as old as

my mother and she is the manager who offers to buy us beer all the time with the hopes that she can deliver the beer to the party and be invited to stay. She's that person. So it's really not Pam that is exciting me when it comes to the proposition of being a stripper. It's just the idea that I'm being chosen for something based upon the way that I look because I don't often get chosen for that reason. I am the kind of guy who in order to get a girl has to has to do everything he possibly can to ingratiate himself to women by standing essentially as close as possible to them at all times and speaking in funny ways until they notice me.

I am romance's version of erosion. I just stand next to them and I wear them down and slowly over time occasionally a girl deigns to look in my direction and sometimes becomes my girlfriend. But this is different. Someone has noticed the way I look and for whatever reason wants me to take off all my clothes. And as horrifying as that does sound, again,

that five seconds in the future situation is impairing all of the understanding about what this will mean, and I'm just excited. I'm excited that someone is interested in the way that I look. But I tell Pam, I would really like to not get all the way naked, and she says, no, we don't want you to do that either. She says, I'm going to get you a thong. I nod.

I have no idea what a thonged. thong is either, but I think whatever it is, it's going to cover up parts of me that I need covered up. And so she tells me the parties in a week, and it's going to be at McDonald's. It's going to be in the crew room in the back of the McDonald's. And I think, great, home court advantage. And so a week passes, and I show up to McDonald's on the given night. I'm wearing my McDonald's uniform, because that is what Pam asked me to wear. She said, we want you to strip out of your uniform. And as I parked the car and I start walking in, I really feel good. I feel that this is a unique opportunity for me. I'm really excited about what is going to happen. The first clue that

perhaps this is not going to go very well is when I walk into the restaurant. It's weird to walk into a McDonald's restaurant and see only men working at all of the stations. But that is what's happening on this night because all the women are in the back. And so as I walk on, I see all of my buddies, guys that I know really well, and they all look at me when I walk in, and I cannot figure out what the look is, but it is universal and it is disconcerting. I do not like the look on any of their faces. So I put my head down, and I head to the back. In the very back of the restaurant, there's a hallway where we stack up the Big Mac buns and the hamburger buns and these big plastic trays. Pam has told me, meet me back there, and when I get back there, she's

waiting for me. She's got an orange thong in her hand. She hands me the thong, and she hands me the thong and she says when you're ready, come and knock on the door to the crew room. And so I discover what a thong is for the first time, which if you're not familiar, it's essentially a sandwich bag with two strings attached to it. And so I get sort of semi-naked behind the Big Mac buns and I begin to put the thong on and I'm not trying to be grandiose about my situation in any way, but she has not sized the thong properly. If you've ever tried to sort of put something in a Tupperware container on one side and it's coming out on the other side and it just won't go in on both sides. That is sort of what is happening to me next to the Big MacBuns

in the back of a McDonald's restaurant. It's like the happy meal size version of a thong. And so it's not comfortable, but I eventually managed to get it on and I pull my pants on. And then I'm holding my underwear in my hand, my boxers. And I realize I haven't planned. for my boxers. And oddly, this is the first moment that fear sort of hits my, hits my soul. I think, my God, if I haven't planned for my boxers, what else have I not planned for? And so I take my boxers and I stuff them in between the Big Mac buns. They're in plastic. It's totally sanitary. It's fine. I just want to know where they are when I come back. And so I sort of put myself back together. I get my tie on. I'm all set to go, and I go to the crew room door, and I knock on it.

and the door swings open, and I see Pam first. She's sitting on top of a trash can, one of those McDonald's trash cans, and she's got a boombox next to her, and as the door opens, she presses play, and Madonna's lucky star begins to play. And I think this is good, because music is better than quiet. And so I walk in, and then I realize instantly that none of this is good, and I have made a terrible decision. It's a very small room.

It's like 10 by 10. It has a McDonald's booth, the same kind you see in the McDonald's dining room. There's a booth there, and in that booth are four women who I know really well, who I've been working with for a very long time. And next to the booth is Lisa, the woman who is engaged to be married. And when she sees me, it is clear that she did not know what was coming through the door. And it occurs to me at this moment that she and I are the only two people in the room now that think that this is a terrible idea.

We stare at each other thinking, my God, what is happening? Next to Pam is Alice Tingley. Alice Tingley is like a 70-year-old woman, a manager, who I've been working with for years. She's like my grandmother. But now she's bopping to Lucky Star and on the edge of her chair. The room is filled with all of these women who I know really well, and it now occurs to me that I will be required to take off all of my clothes in front of them. And so for a moment, I just freeze. I pray that this will be the moment when it,

asteroid strikes our planet and wipes off all of human civilization and I will not have to go through this thing that I apparently have to go through now. And that's really what it is. It's that moment in your life when you've agreed to do something and then you realize it's terrible, but the only way to get out of it is to go through it. And so I begin. I start with my shoes. I've chosen business casual shoes and I have shoelaces and I've double-bowed them because that's the kind of person I am. so it's not easy to get them off. And there's no way to sort of take off shoes in a sexy way. And when I get them off, I don't know what to do with them.

I've never been in a strip club in my entire life, except for this one of my own making at this moment. And I would imagine maybe in a strip club they throw the shoes out at the ladies, but if I throw these shoes at the ladies, they're right here. I'm going to just clock them right in the head if I do that. And so I take the shoes and I put them neatly by the door so that I can affect and escape as quick as possible when I am done here. My socks have to come off next.

I've worn black socks that come almost up to the knees. It's not a pretty sight. I get them all off. I ball them up and I tuck them safely into my shoes. I remove my tie. No problem with that. And then I go to take my shirt off and I go to pull over my head forgetting that it is a dress shirt and then it has buttons on the wrists.

and if you have ever done this, you know that physics do not allow you once it is inside out to undo those buttons, that somewhere in the universe it was determined that that cannot be done, which means I am now sort of wearing a reverse straight jacket and I must now put it back on all the way so then I can unbutton the sleeves and then do that thing again and get it off. And I fold it neatly and I put it on top of my shoes. And the last thing I have to do is the pants. And it's the easiest one. I undo the belt and the pants will fall to the floor.

Gravity will do its work. But it is the hardest thing of this night and many, many, many other nights of my life. Perhaps all of the nights of my life, it is incredibly difficult to do. But I remove the belt and I release the pants and they drop to the floor. And the first thing I realized is that I was wrong about this thong, that Pam sized it perfectly. Because the moment the pants hit the floor, everything in my body sucks in. And now there's room for two of me in this thong at this moment. And I managed to kick the pants off.

And now I am standing in nothing but a small orange thong in front of ladies who I've worked with for a very long time. And Lucky Star is still playing. It's a three minute and 37 second song. But apparently on this day, the universe has determined it to be 19 minutes long. It's just going forever. And I can't just stand there. so stupid, so I dance a little. I dance in the crew room of a McDonald's restaurant

while wearing an orange thong at a bachelorette party. And I don't want you to imagine it, please. Just know that at one time in the world, that thing happened. And when the song finally blessedly ends, I quickly grab my clothes and I leave the crew room. And I make the hardest right around that corner possible so no one can see me. and I get into the back hallway and I put my clothes on

and I get my underwear back on. I hold the orange thong because when you have been through something like that, you do not leave a man behind. I decide that this is mine forever. I stuff it in my pocket. And I start to leave and as I turn the corner, Pam is there. And she tells me what a great job I've done. And she gives me a check for $100,

thus turning me into a professional stripper on that night. And I walk by Pam and I head through the kitchen. As I'm heading through the kitchen, I see my friend Brian Lowe. He is pulling fillet of fish out of the vat. And he looks at me. And now I'm mad because I understand all that happened behind me. And I know how terrible and stupid it was. And I am feeling so foolish. And Brian looks at me and I just think, what? And so I look at him and I say, what? And he goes, I just can't believe you did it. When they asked me, I said no, like right away. And I will quickly realize. realized that I was not the first person asked, or the second, or the third, or the fourth. I was just the person that Pam eventually got to who was foolish enough to say yes. And so I leave the restaurant, I go out to my car, I get behind the wheel. I'm really upset, and it's ridiculous.

You should not be angry about not being chosen first to strip at a bachelorette party in the crew room of a McDonald's restaurant. That should not be a burden on your soul. And yet it is that night. It was just that for once in my life, I wanted to be recognized as the good-looking one in the room or a good-looking one in the room, that I was the one who turned the heads.

And I thought that on that night, that was going to be me. And it turned out it wasn't. Thank you. I never, ever in my life, thought I was, was going to tell that story to anyone, truly. I am a person who basically says every single thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life and never care. But that is a story I held back for a very, very long time. My wife talked me into telling that story. We had a theme in our show and she

knew what happened and she said, it will be great. And I said, I do not want people to ever know that I did that thing. It is too embarrassing. But I have learned in my life also that if you listen to what women tell you to do. Your life basically turns out okay unless their name is Pam. And so, so I did it. And I received the same reaction that night. And a really remarkable thing happened because it was basically the last thing that I had not told that I was afraid to tell. It was the last thing that I was holding back. And when I told it, I just suddenly realized how foolish I was to even be embarrassed by it. Like, it's just a ridiculous thing that I did. And we all have ridiculous things. And I was instantly

freed of the shame. Truly, I was ashamed of it. I was embarrassed by it. I had not told anyone about it until I met my wife. And it wasn't until a long time after I knew my wife and I knew that I had her locked down that I decided to tell her that story.

And the moment I told it to two or three hundred people at our show, I instantly felt great about what had happened. Not sort of happy that I made that decision, but perfectly fine with sharing it with the world. And I've told that story many, many times. The night that I told the story, when I finished, my wife, who sits about right here in the audience, and she's our MC,

she took my place, and I took her place. And as the MC, she said, there's one other part of the story that Matt hasn't told you. And I sat in my seat, and I said, no, like, I don't want that part known. And she looked at me and she said, no, I'm going to tell you that. I'm going to tell them that one, too. And I was so angry as she started to tell them. The truth is, the I actually stripped again in that same crew room with that same thong two years later for another girl. I had a girlfriend at the time whose cousin Tina was getting married and she said, we want you to be the stripper too. And I said, no. And she said, oh, you'll strip for Pam, but you won't strip for me. And so because I was a man and a woman was involved, I agreed to do it.

And I never wanted anyone to know I did it twice because I thought, well, if you do it once, you're an idiot, but if you do it twice, you're inexcusable. And she told the whole audience that night that I did it twice. But another amazing thing happened, I suddenly didn't care anymore, because everyone laughed and they thought it was lovely, and it all worked out. So you can tell almost anything, and it's okay. The most embarrassing things that you have done, it's perfectly okay to tell them. I was in CVS a few months ago running in. We were on our way to the theater with my friends. And I was running in for cough drops. And it was a CVS in Hartford, Connecticut. And it was one of these weird stores. Have you ever been in a store that has like a hill in the middle of the aisle?

You're like, hey, that's weird. I'm going up a little, right? It was that store. And I didn't know there was a hill. So as I was running, I tripped on the hill. And I skidded across the industrial carpet on my chin. And when I came to a stop, I looked up and there was a woman at the end of the aisle, and she started laughing at me. And what I thought right away was, and what I thought right away was, was, I can't wait to get in the car and tell everyone what I just did. And that is how I live my life now. Ever since I told my stripping story, every time I do something stupid, I think I have a chance to make people laugh. I have a chance to demonstrate vulnerability and courage by running to the car and telling them,

I just tripped on a hill in the CVS. There's a little scrape on my chin from the industrial carpet, and there's a woman who's still laughing in there. and they all laughed. So we carry a lot of stuff thinking that we can never share it with anyone, and I'm here to report to you that you can share it with everyone, and it will be accepted and loved and appreciated. So take that from the story, please. Go tell your most outrageously terrible decisions,

and it really will work out well. The other thing about that story is I actually don't love telling that story. As much as you enjoyed the story, the tricky thing about that story is I don't like to tell stories that are sort of one note and that story is kind of one note it's kind of funny the whole way through the way I sort of mitigate that problem a bit

is I try to turn that story into something a little more meaningful and I know I did because of your reaction at the end I heard you I listen for it every time I tell the story the story is about me stripping in a crew room which is what most people remember but it's also a story about the desire to for once in your life be the good looking one

and there's not that many people in the world There's not that many people that walk into a room every single time, and that's the good-looking one, right? We don't get to be that very often. And so it's the idea that wouldn't it be nice if for one night you could be the one that everyone wanted to look at? And I thought I had that. I really did. I thought I was chosen for that reason. And then I saw Brian Lowe, and he told me his thing.

And I quickly found out that many, many of the guys had been asked before me. So it is ridiculous to be upset as I'm sitting in my car in the parking lot that I wasn't chosen first. but I really thought I was going to be something that night and I wasn't. And when I finished the story, I heard a bunch of you say, aw. And that told me that it wasn't one note. It was mostly one note, but hopefully there was a little bit to it because that's my goal in stories. If I just want to be funny, honestly, I could just do that. I do stand up. I could just stand up here and tell funny things and make you laugh and you'd all leave and it would be lovely, but I don't think that when we tell funny things that we stay in the hearts and minds of other human beings.

But if I tell you about my desire to, wouldn't it be nice to walk in a room and be the good-looking one, I think that appeals to a lot of people because I think a lot of people feel that way. I think we probably all feel that way, unless you're one of those awful good-looking people who none of us really like, but we do look at you a lot. And so that's what that story is about for me.

I know most people don't remember that part of the story. They mostly remember the other things, and that's fine. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. But I do try to make every single story as ridiculous or hilarious as they are. and I don't try to make that story funny. That story is just situationally funny. Sometimes that's the case.

I try not to make my stories just funny. I want them to be about something, something that will mean something to other people, and I encourage you to do that too. So try to make your stories about something. Like two weeks ago, I don't know if you know this, Jenny, but two weeks ago I was going through some boxes and I opened up a box.

I still have the orange thong. I took the orange thong out of the box and I said, look, honey, and she's like, you still have it. And I said, you do not leave a man. on the battlefield. Like, he was coming with me and he will be with me forever, that orange thong. I will tell you, it definitely does not fit me anymore. And so the first story was my stripping story.

Yes. Yes. It was my stripping story. Yeah. So you actually talked to me into telling that story tonight. Yeah. That story is hilarious and it's always a crowd pleaser. So it's just a great choice.

It is. I mean, I said it at the end of the story that it's not always my favorite story to tell because I do fear that it is a one-note story. Right. I really work hard and I think I'm successful in making it about something else. I know it worked tonight because a few people came up to me and told me that it really meant more than the humor to them. Right. Like that it touched them in terms of it would be nice to one day be the good-looking person in a room. Yeah.

And it just doesn't happen for some of us. Right. So it meant something to some people. But I do worry that the laughter is just so continuous that it ends up feeling like just a hilarious thing that happened. Well, I wonder if there is any more you could do in the beginning of that story to set that up. I know that it's supposed to be, I know that it is a surprise that you were not the first person asked to strip. And you want that to be a surprise at the end of the story. but I wonder if you could do more in the beginning to set yourself up as this underdog who is not always the most attractive person in the room, that that might make it less one note.

I don't know if that's possible, but that's the only thing I'm thinking. Yeah, I mean, I attempt to do it when I talk about how I say that I say yes to Pam immediately for two reasons. One, because I can't say the future because I'm an idiot, but also because I am just not. the person who girls are flocked to because of the way I look. And I talk about how I'm Romance's version of erosion. Yeah, that's true. Now, there are versions of the story, earlier versions, where I talk about Lenny, this guy that used to be my friend who was so beautiful that even me, an exceptionally heterosexual person, was always like, he's just so beautiful. Right. And the only way I could get girls to not look at Lenny and look at me was to stand

next to them for long periods of time and try to say funny things and occasionally moving things to get them to look at me. So in that version of the story, I'm a bit more of an underdog because I've established an antagonist. Right. I established someone to be in opposition to me. Yeah. So maybe that might help a little bit. Yeah. Or maybe just instead of, this is a terrible idea, what am I doing? Maybe there could be something about, but maybe I could do this. Maybe I am a guy who could do this. And that's a good. that these women would enjoy this. I don't know if that's possible, but...

Yeah, I mean, it's not how I felt at the time, so it's a little harder for me to find a way to get that in, while being authentic to the story. Right. But it's a tricky story in that... It's weird to say. It's a tricky story in that it's so funny. Yeah.

And it was probably the most popular story that I told tonight based upon at least the audience's reaction. And yet, I always think, I wish I could tell a different story right now. But the thing that makes it so funny is the specifics of the stripping. Things like taking your shoes off and gingerly placing them by the door, taking your socks off and rolling them up and placing them inside the shoes. The stripping is the least sexy stripping I can possibly imagine.

And the way you describe it is what makes it that way. Yeah, I mean, choosing specificity. Choosing specificity very strategically Yeah is the thing that allows those items to be funny And that's what's interesting Because you don't you tell us that you dance But you do not describe the dancing

And I think that's such an interesting choice That most people wouldn't make But it's difficult, especially if people are listening to this story If this were on the Moth Radio And people were listening to it and they wouldn't be able to see what you were doing. So the fact that you don't describe the dancing and then make that a joke and say,

I'm going to spare you, that memory in your mind is a really interesting choice. I break a rule there too. I don't really ever speak to my audience. Right. And I reject that notion. But I always say if I have a rule, there are moments to break it.

Yeah. I know I'm breaking it there. I break it because I do think it's hard to describe dancing. Yeah. I actually think that if I tell you, you I dance a little, but I don't describe it, your imagination creates more humor than I can create. Right. And I tell people, don't imagine it just know what happened.

Yeah. Right? Which is sort of my way of saying, I can't even really describe it to you, but it allows me to roll into the sentence that I really want to say. I always love saying, please just know that there was a time on this planet when a man in an orange thong danced in the crew room of a McDonald's. restaurant as a part of a bachelor's party. I like to just summarize the full totality of the moment before I move on beyond the moment. Right. So it is the breaking of a rule where I don't like to speak to audiences and I don't like to do it.

I don't like to address the audience's existence because I'm trying to get my audience to forget that I exist and even that they exist. I'm trying to get them to mentally exist within the confines of my story. Right. And anytime I speak to an audience, anytime someone says, you go. guys, guess what happened next? That was the worst one because a rhetorical question causes people to come up with an answer and that means they're not listening anymore or imagining. Right. Right. But even when I say, please don't imagine it, that is a direct order to the audience,

which acknowledges they exist. Right. My hope is by saying, please don't imagine it, just know what happened. They actually imagine it. Right. Right. And even if they don't, I can live with that moment. I can live with that direct speaking to the audience. Yeah. There are moments that I do. It deliberately, admittedly try to punch the story up a little bit. When I'm putting the thong on, you know, and I do the Tupperware container thing, you know, I don't have to say that to be funny, but I'm putting a thong on. I kind of can't help but look for that to be more amusing. I also really like the idea that I don't fit into it.

Yeah. You know, I like the self-deprecating nature of this thong is awkward for me. I like it when I say I'm not trying to be grandiose about my situation in any way. because that allows the contrast later on when my pants at the ground. And I really do remember going like, like everything is much smaller than it used to be a minute ago, right?

I want that moment to land hard, and I can land it hard by talking about the contrast of the moment before. Right. It's funny because sometimes things end up being funny that you don't expect to be funny. I remember the first time I told the story,

I put the boxers in the Big Mac buns, and the curse of knowledge for me was like, well, it's fine because they're all wrapped in plastic. Right. But the first time I did it, everyone, like, groaned in a funny way. And I realized, oh, that's funny because they don't understand. So I'll let them groan in a funny way.

And then I'll explain so they don't worry about, you know, the unsanitary nature of it. But it's said in a funny way. So there are moments when I'm actually trying to make the story funnier. Yeah. But I would like there to be more pathos in the story. Yes. I can't believe I said that word. Forgive me.

I just wish the story wasn't funny all the way through. Yeah, I just think it's hard. There's no way to make it serious in the middle of the stripping. Right. And so much of the story is the stripping. I agree. Yes, it's a fun story to tell. Yeah.

I know I said this already. If you listen to the story, you heard me say this, but it is always so remarkable for me to think back on how I was so afraid for anyone to ever know this. And then I told it at a moth grand slam to 900 people. And I have told it in many shows. It's very requested. And it's just a remarkable how something that you are so ashamed of instantly loses all of it shame because you realize how appreciative people are of sharing something like that with them. You know, it's weird that you would think that people are going to think less of you for doing that.

And truly, there's almost nothing that you can do. that if you share it in a vulnerable and authentic way, that people will think less of you. I can think of a few terrible things that you could possibly do that you probably should not share with the world. Anything that will basically land you in jail in such a way that the people in jail will want to kill you. Those things you should not share and you should not do. But all of the things that we walk around thinking this was embarrassing and awful, almost none of them mean anything to anyone except there's a possibility you'll bring joy to that. their hearts. Thank you for listening to podcasting step by step. You are now one step closer to launching

that podcast you've been dreaming about, but I want to get you even closer. I created a free guidebook for you with actionable worksheets called Eight Mistakes New Podcasters Make and How to Fix Them. To find that, head on over to sarahmicatel.com slash fix. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free conversation sheet sheet. with simple formulas that you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you're in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at sarahmicatel.com

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