Influential Introvert: Communication Coaching for Professionals with Performance Anxiety - Embracing the 1-Star Club: How to Deal with Podcast Haters

Episode Date: January 13, 2020

Life is all fun and games when people are five-starring your podcast all over the place. But what happens when someone one-stars your show or leaves you a bad review in Apple Podcasts? Well, it feels bad, of course. But we can transform that negative energy from random haters into something that benefits us. Learn how in this episode (sarahmikutel.com for show notes) *** Also, visit sarahmikutel.com for more resources on how to podcast.   Ready to start your own show? Download my free guide: “8 Mistakes New Podcasters Make and How to Fix Them.”    Looking for a podcast media host? Use my Libsyn affiliate code POSTCARD to get the rest of this month for free and next month free.    I’m your podcast launch consultant, Sarah Mikutel. If you’d like to learn more about me, you can check out my other podcast, Postcard Academy travel podcast. This travel podcast is for the ‘experiences not things’ kind of person who believes travel goes deeper than a fantastic meal (though that is pretty great). Every week, I interview people who packed up everything to start a new adventure in another part of the world. You’ll learn how they did it and get their best insider food and culture tips.    Thank you so much for listening to Podcasting Step by Step. I know you’re busy and have many listening options, so it means a lot to me that you’re here. You are the best.  Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Life is all fun in games when people are five-starring us all over the place. But what happens when somebody one-stars your show on Apple Podcasts? Well, it feels pretty bad. That's not rocket science. But what if I told you that we can transform the negative energy from random haters into something that can actually benefit us? Learn how I did that in today's episode. Have you been wanting to start a podcast for a while now, but something's holding you back?

Maybe it's fear of putting yourself out there or confusion about the technology. I'm Sarah Mikital and on podcasting step by step, I'll break down how to podcast with a little loving motivation to give you the skills and the confidence you need to finally launch that show of your dreams. Let's get started. I will never forget my first one-star rating. I had a postcard academy, my other podcast for quite a while and I was just coasting along on five-star reviews and ratings and I just thought that's how it was. And yay, this is like such a nice place for fans to leave feedback. But then when I started this podcast, somebody one-starred me pretty soon in Apple Podcasts. And not only that, they took the time to go over to my other podcast and one-star me there as well.

I knew that eventually I would get one-starred. That is just the price of putting yourself out there. So my initial reaction was, oh, this sucks. But I'm just going to be. move on. But I had a hunch that this would weigh on me later. So I moved on pretty quick, but then I was right. Later on, I just started to drive me crazy and I couldn't help but wonder, why doesn't this person like me? What did I do wrong? Do they not like my voice? Is this a competitor out to get me? Is my work really worth one star? Should I just quit right now and stop sharing my work with people? These thoughts sucked my energy for the rest of the day and my attention. And the thing is, I knew what I should feel. I should shake off that person's rating and say to myself,

Bless and released, this person can just go search for the content that they do want. I'm not going to chase them and try to win them over. My work isn't for them. My energy is not for them. I am here to serve the people who need me and want to hear from me. And that's true. But I still, I just felt bad and I couldn't help having a brief pity party for myself. again, why do they dislike me so much to give me a one-star rating? I don't want to do this anymore. And I indulged in those feelings for a bit. I gave myself the afternoon to feel bad with the understanding that I would have to shake it off and move on. So how did I pull myself out of that poor me feeling and get back into the swing of things? Well, to start, I talked to people who would

understand the sting that I felt. Years ago, I didn't really talk that much about things that upset me, and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm generally an easygoing person and I like to maintain that feeling and I don't know. I just kept things bottled up. I like to keep the peace. I don't like to upset people. And I guess I didn't like sharing, embarrassing, and uncomfortable stories. But now when something bothers me, I talk it out and it always makes me feel better. And so I talked to several podcasting friends about feeling bummed about what happened. I actually, once a week or now it's every other week, meet with a little accountability. group with podcasters and we just chat about what's going on with our shows. How can we

help each other out? So I would really recommend that you find a podcast partner either for accountability or just to have somebody to chat to about what's going on in your podcasting lives. So these lovely gals listen to me. And this is a potentially embarrassing situation, right, admitting that somebody dislikes you or what you did so much that they would take action to let you know by leaving you a bad rating or review. But I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders when I was talking to them. So commiserate with your fellow creators who wear their negative ratings and reviews as bad as of honor that they've made it. Because when you stand for something, there are going to be people who react against you. And I would rather stand for something

positive in this world than let some anonymous stranger dictate what I say and how I feel. This isn't always easy, of course. Even though I knew I wouldn't let haters silence me and give up podcasting, I mean, that thought is just ridiculous. But once in a while, I would think about that negative rating. And it would irritate me all over again. But my conversation with Libson's Rob Walsh, who I interviewed a few episodes ago, I don't know why, but the way he said this thing really shifted my mindset.

So listen to what Rob has to say about one-star ratings. reviews. People get all upset to the, oh, I can't believe I've got these one-star reviews. How do I get rid of them? Everybody has one-star reviews. Joe Rogan's got a ton of one-star reviews. They don't worry about it. If you do not have a one-star review on your podcast, you don't have an audience. You have not done anything. You haven't pushed a boundary. You haven't done something good, because you have to do something to get an emotion out of somebody that they're willing to go and put a one-star review. Because most, if your show is just milk toast and people aren't even willing to put it a one-star review, it's not going to grow. If they care enough to put one-star, wow, you've touched a

cord. And if you can get someone to write a review, a one-star review of your show where they actually take the time to put a review, then you really know you're on to something. I knew that what Rob was saying was true before I spoke to him, but something in the way he said it, I don't know why, but it actually made me feel that this was true. Our one-star conversation was a great reminder to me of who I want to be talking to on my podcast. What is the conversation I want to be having with this world? And it made me want to niche down even deeper to be even more clear about who I want to serve, who I want to interview, who I want to build relationships with. Now I truly don't worry about one-star reviews and ratings. Do I wish they weren't there? Yes. And I've spoken before about how I think ratings,

are too easily gamed and distorted, and part of me wishes they would just go away despite my love of reading fan reviews. But I have to say that after my conversation with Rob, I was able to look at one-star ratings more as a curiosity than an annoyance. What kind of person goes out of their way to leave a one-star podcast review or rating? Like, it's not the easiest thing to figure out how to do that. So, like, how much time do they have on their hands? But that's all the brainpower that I'm going to give the haters. My mind doesn't try to fill in the blanks of why they don't like me because I really don't care. The benefit of the one-star rating or review is that it reminds us of who we are really showing up for and who we want to connect with. A bad reading and review

can help us refocus on our core message and our purpose. I'm excited to be talking to you right now. You are the person I'm showing up for. You are the only one. You are the only one. that I care about. And so now if somebody leaves me a bad rating, like, I'm not going to love it, but I don't dwell on it. I'm just thinking about you and how I can show up for you. So I did an exercise in 2019 to get clear on what my mission, vision, and values are. For background, in case you don't know, I'm an American living in the UK for no reason other than that I love it here. I first moved abroad when I was 18, also in England, except I was up in the Lake District, scrubbing bathtubs and serving breakfast at a hotel for the summer.

And later, I moved to Italy. I became an Italian citizen, so I have been traveling and living abroad pretty much for most of my adult life at this point. I love meeting new people. I love experiencing new cultures. And I want to help other people explore the world and experience this kind of life, if that's something that they want to do. So here are the key points that I came up with for my overall mission. Help people feel deep in their bones that someday has arrived and give them the tools they need to take action on their dreams today.

Help fellow world wanderers share their message, connect to their community, and build their branded business through the magic of podcasting. Build confidence in people and help them find their voice through podcasting. I don't want to double down on this and to be even more specific about who I want to serve and to repubes. Yes, repel, the people who don't share my values and who wouldn't want to hear from me or work with me. So I'm going to embrace those one-star ratings and reviews as reminders that I will show up 110% for those who want to learn and grow and to create something positive in this world. And I don't want to waste any time trying to appease the haters and naysayers who just want company for their misery. So if you like my mission, if it resonates with you, then wonderful. You are who I'm showing up for, and I can't wait to just keep having this podcast relationship with you for years and years.

And if my mission doesn't resonate with you, but you still think that you can learn from me, then I hope that I can serve you well as well. For anyone hate listening to me who doesn't like me, stop wasting your time. Life is too short. If you don't like this show, then please move on and find something that you do like. And I hope that your day and your life gets better. So it might take you for a while to get comfortable with the idea that there are people who don't like you and or your work. This is normal. And while most of us will probably never get to a place where we completely give zero Fs about what other people think about us,

we can get better at letting those irrelevant opinions go. If someone leaves you a negative rating or review, ask yourself if what they said is true. Maybe sometimes there is a smidge of truth and they're offering some feedback that we can learn from. Personally, I don't think people should be leaving this constructive criticism as a rating or review. I think that if they really respect you and want you to improve your show, they should email you and you can maybe have a little bit of back and forth and thank them for their, you know, thank them for what they're saying for this good feedback. Because I think we can all learn from feedback and we should all be asking for feedback. But a lot of negative ratings and reviews are completely irrelevant. And their opinions are not valid.

Like I was watching a course on Creative Live the other day because I love online learning and I'm always doing different courses. And there was a woman teaching something on marketing. And the people in the audience there, because they record in front of a live audience, they loved the teacher. And she had so many glowing reviews. but there were three reviews that were negative, and they were saying things like, I don't like her voice, good material, but I don't take her seriously because I don't like her voice. They were all on her voice. And to Creative Lives credit, it looks like those reviews have since been taken down because they weren't valid criticisms, right? They were even saying in their negative rating that they thought she was giving good material. They just didn't like her voice. Well, who cares? You know, she's helping you out by giving this good information. If you don't like her voice, then don't pay attention. Go find a different course that you like more. So we definitely do not need to listen to unhelpful feedback like that.

My hater, and I now have more than one, did not leave a review, just a bad rating. And so I couldn't question what they said. But the one-star rating did make me wonder for a moment, am I putting out bad work? And to this thought, I asked myself, is this true? And the answer is no, I might not be perfect, but I'm definitely not producing a show that's worth one star. And since you are listening to a podcast about podcasting and making the effort to improve your show, you are definitely not putting out one star work either. So my one star ratings are not about the quality of my show. It's more likely about my message.

And if the reviewers don't like what I stand for, then fine. goodbye. Like, I'm not bothered about it anymore. Now I truly feel the bless and release. This person is free to go and search for content that they do want. I'm not going to waste any moments of my precious time here on this earth trying to win them over. My work is not for them. My energy is not for them? I'm showing up for you. And in addition to asking yourself, is this true if somebody writes something negative about you or just dealing with negativity in general, go and do something positive for somebody else. So if somebody gives me a one star, I am going to go write at least three positive Apple podcast reviews for shows that I like.

I mean, think of it. How many shows that you listen to and we all have good intentions. Like, I really like this show. I need to write them a review. But we don't. A lot of the times, we don't. We put it on our list of like other things to do. But when something negative happens to us, I think one of the best ways to react is to just try to spread positivity elsewhere. So I will go and just love up on the shows that I do like with positive ratings and reviews. And that definitely makes me feel better. And I think it would make you feel better as well. I mentioned my mission earlier and that I've also written down the values that I want to use to guide my life and the choices that I make and how I show up in life and what I share on my podcast.

I'm pretty values driven. My top value is something that I say every morning when I wake up. You will never have this day again. Make it matter. Life is way too short to wallow in the low places and to let negative people rob us of our time and energy and attention. If you were told that you had one week left on this earth and you could spend it however you wanted, what would you do? I certainly hope that you wouldn't be spending it worrying about a one-star rating or a review. More likely than not, I hope you would be spending it doing something you love or trying something new and cool with people that you care about.

And that's how we should be spending most of our days. To sum all of this up, but when people hate on us, of course we're going to be upset. It's okay to wallow a little bit. It's normal. But when we start to overthink things and make up stories in our minds that aren't true to fill in the gaps of why some random doesn't like us, that's not going to make us feel better. sharing our feelings will, talking it out will, reminding ourselves of who we are and what we stand for and who we're really serving for and why that's going to make us feel better. Reading positive reviews that people have written either in emails or Apple Podcasts or

social media, that's going to make us feel better. And doing nice things for other people, that is going to make us feel better as well. And also reminding ourselves that our days are numbered here on this earth and choosing to live our best lives in that little time that we have left, that will make us feel better. And just give us our perspective back. I think that's the most important thing we have is what's important and what's not important. So if you have been one-starred, welcome to the club. Embrace it. Your show actually means something to people. Focus on the fans that you already have and new ones will follow. Thank you for listening to podcasting step by step.

You are now one step closer to launching that podcast you've been dreaming about, but I want to get you even closer. I created a free guidebook for you with actionable worksheets called 8 mistakes new podcasters make and how to fix them. To find that, head on over to sarah micahatel.com slash fix. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free conversation sheet sheet with simple formulas that you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you're in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at sarahygotele.com slash blank no more.