Influential Introvert: Communication Coaching for Professionals with Performance Anxiety - I'm Afraid of Putting Myself Out There: Help for the Introverted Podcaster

Episode Date: March 21, 2019

Would you consider yourself an introvert? If so, you are in good company. Most podcasters self identify as introverts. But there are techniques to help us get more comfortable with putting ourselves out there, and we’ll talk about about some of them in today’s episode. Visit sarahmikutel.com for show notes.    Ready to start podcasting? Download my free guide: “8 Mistakes New Podcasters Make and How to Fix Them.”    I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel. Thank you so much for listening to this show. I know you’re busy and have many listening options, so it means a lot to me that you’re here. You are the best.  Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Have you been wanting to podcast for a while now, but something's holding you back? Maybe it's fear of putting yourself out there or confusion about the tech. I'm Sarah Micahattel, and on podcasting step by step, I'll break down how to podcast with a little loving motivation to give you the skills and the confidence you need to finally launch that show of your dreams. Let's get started. Would you consider yourself an introvert? If so, you are in good company.

Most podcasters self-identify as introverts, including me. But there are techniques to help us get more comfortable with putting ourselves out there, and we will talk about some of them today. There are a few different definitions of introverts, and I'm not talking only about people who need alone time to recharge, but also those of us who are on the shire side, who don't naturally want to be the center of attention. Starting a podcast can feel so awkward and embarrassing for people like us.

I will never forget the first invite that I sent out asking someone to be a guest on my then non-existent podcast. I had flown home from England to visit my family in the States, and my mom and I went to the beach, and I'm sitting there in the stand, staring at my phone where I had typed up this invitation in my notes app the day before, and I'm so nervous about sending this message to my potential guest, and I literally closed my eyes as I was pressing send. And do you know, what happened? I got an enthusiastic yes. But what would have been the worst thing that could have happened? Would the person on the receiving end have sent me a mean email back saying, How dare you ask this of me? No, not likely. She would have just ignored my email. And side

note, what on earth was I doing, agonizing over this when I should have been enjoying the beach time with my mom, who I see like twice a year? Life is way too short to get caught up in such small things, but it's natural to slip into that internal drama. A question that has really helped me keep perspective on things since then, not only in podcasting, but in life in general, is what's the worst that could happen? I ask myself that all the time. So, anytime you're afraid of doing something, ask yourself that question and think about the answer realistically. In most cases, nothing life ruining is going to occur. What's the the worst that could happen has transformed me. It has pushed me out of my comfort zone in the most

positive ways. We all have things that freak us out. Well, I really enjoy eating lunch alone and I have moved to several countries by myself. If you tell me I have to give a five-minute speech in front of 50 people, I am not going to sleep that week. I am getting a little bit better at this. That's never going to be my favorite thing. I know so many amazing women who are killing it in certain parts of their lives. And then in others, they are too afraid to go after what they want, too afraid to even admit what they want sometimes. So how do we get over this? If you've read Tim Ferriss's books or listen to his podcast, you may have heard him talk about his comfort zone exercises, including one in where you're supposed to lie down in a crowded place for at least 10 seconds,

and you're not supposed to say anything as people stare at you, and then you're just supposed to get up and go about your business. Does the thought of that make you want to pass out? If you think about it, what's the worst that could happen? Somebody asks if you need help. There are really no consequences here. Having said that, I have not worked my way up to that level of comfort yet, but I have challenged myself in other ways that you might find helpful. So here are two exercises you might want to try. One, share a video of yourself. For a long time, the thought of sharing a of myself in an Instagram story gave me anxiety. And now I can't even remember what that feels like because I challenged myself to share weekly videos with myself. And now it feels totally normal.

Usually I'll just shoot one when I'm out jogging around, sweaty, usually wearing the same outfit. Nobody cares. It's not a big deal. And now I look back at my former self and I'm just thinking, what were you so scared of? Let me know if this ever happens to you. Like you change some way for the better, and then you look back at your previous self. And it's just, it's like you're looking at somebody else's life. And you are rooting for that person, that younger version of you, and you just want to give that old you a hug and say, don't be so afraid of putting yourself out there. Things are going to work out. You just have to go after what you want and start stretching yourself. You will get there. So here's a challenge for you. Pick two days a week in which you

You will share a video of yourself in an Instagram or a Facebook story or both. They're only 15 seconds. They disappear in 24 hours. Don't overthink it. If you need some inspiration, talk about the most memorable thing that happened to you that day. There is a wonderful exercise to help with storytelling called Homework for Life. And that was invented by Matthew Dix, who won the Moth's Grand Slam Storytelling Championship

multiple times. I interviewed him on my other podcast, Postcard Academy, and I will share a link to that in the show notes at sarah micatel.com slash introverts. Here's another idea to practice putting yourself out there. Try a solo episode. Are you already planning or recording a podcast? Introverts gravitate toward interview style shows in part because it takes the spotlight off of us. I absolutely love interviewing people, but it's also nice for your listeners to hear from just you once in a while to get to know you better.

So a challenge once a quarter, if not more, throw a solo episode into your mix if this is not something you're doing already. Podcasting is a very intimate form of content consumption and listeners want to know who they're dedicating their time to. You might be podcasting about entrepreneurship, but your fans don't just want business tips. They can get that in many, many places. They want business tips from you. They want to hear your story, and I know it can feel scary to reveal different parts of yourself. But when you do, people will be so grateful because we all want to feel like there is someone out there who gets us, who understands what we're going through. And that is what makes podcasting so powerful, this ability to connect with other voices and our stories.

So what's at stake when we don't take risks? I was at a job interview once, and the guy interviewing me looks at my CV, looks back at me, and he says, rather sharply, on paper, it looks like you've accomplished so much, but you keep saying the word we, we launch this, we redesigned that, who is we? Did you do any of this? Of course, I was mortified, my feelings were hurt, but his feedback was such a gift because I realized how I was coming across to certain people who make big decisions in other people's lives, like hiring and firing. I'm not even sure I was aware that I was saying we instead of I, but that day I realized that I had to start taking more ownership of the things that I did and achieved, even if it makes me

uncomfortable. Maybe you're also a people pleaser, a team player, everyone might love you at work, your boss ranks you the best, your colleagues enjoy being around you, but the higher-ups don't see you as a leader. Maybe you're ready to leave your job and start your own thing, but people won't buy from you if you're too shy to make the sale. Whether we are talking about podcast aspirations or relationship aspirations or career goals, we will never get what we want until we have the courage to step out into the spotlight. One of my podcasting friends just told me that she still feels sick every time she puts out a new episode. And that's okay. That's better than feeling nothing. Think of your podcasting nerves like first-date butterflies. They make

you uncomfortable, but also excited. Part of you feels like canceling and you just want to stay home by yourself, but you push yourself to follow through with your commitment. And you have a great time and you think, wow, I almost miss this. Research has shown that we change how we think and feel by changing how we act, not the other way around. We cannot dream about being more courageous. We have to act like courageous people. Challenge yourself to do something that scares you. It can be small. Do a 15-second video of yourself and put it on social media.

There are many reasons to start a podcast. One of the very best is the confidence that it gives you. Can podcasting transform an introvert into an extrovert? Probably not. And there's no reason to strive for that. Introverts are great. But getting behind the mic and sharing your story with the world, will change you for the better. You will feel more comfortable speaking up and there are many people

eagerly waiting to hear what you have to say. All right, that is all I've got for you today. Have fun with the challenges I mentioned in this episode and when you share a video of yourself in your Instagram story, please tag me so I can cheer you on. Thank you for listening to podcasting step by step. You are now one step closer to launching that podcast you've been dreaming about. I want to get you even closer. I created a free guidebook for you with actionable worksheets called 8 mistakes new podcasters make and how to fix them. To find that, head on over to sarah micotel.com slash fix. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot?

I created a free conversation sheet sheet with simple formulas that you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you're in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at sarahmicatel.com slash blank no more.