Influential Introvert: Communication Coaching for Professionals with Performance Anxiety - What Will Be Your Podcast Legacy?

Episode Date: March 15, 2020

We are human. We’re emotional beings, and sometimes we get swept up in the heat of the moment and our words don’t always line up with our intentions.   Before we podcast about it or tweet about it or email our list, pouring out our emotions. Pause. Write it out for yourself. Then reflect. Is this how you want people to see you? Is this reflective of your brand? Of your show’s goal? Of how you want to serve your audience?    How is your audience feeling right now, and how do you want them to feel after they listen to your show? How do you want them to feel when they think about you 10 years from now?   These feelings are your legacy. They are your brand.  Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Have you been wanting to start a podcast for a while now, but something's holding you back? Maybe it's fear of putting yourself out there or confusion about the technology. I'm Sarah Mikital and on podcasting step by step, I'll break down how to podcast with a little loving motivation to give you the skills and the confidence you need to finally launch that show of your dreams. Let's get started. They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. A version of this quote is often attributed to Maya Angelou that was actually said in the 1970s

by a man named Carl Bonner, who was a prominent Mormon. And the quote probably goes back way farther than Carl. A lot of our favorite quotes are attributed to our favorite people, but they were actually said by somebody else or nobody knows where the quote came from. most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be. This quote which I love is usually attributed to Abraham Lincoln, but there is no evidence that he said it. 20 years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do

than by the things that you did do. Mark Twain didn't say that, but everyone thinks he did. And one of my favorites, actually I love all of these quotes, and I actually live my life by them, but when you're 20, you care what everyone thinks when you're 40, you stop caring what everyone thinks. And when you're 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place. I used to think Winston Churchill said this because so many quotes are attributed to him. But there's no evidence that he said that quotation websites are filled with words of wisdom by these leaders and writers who we love.

But they never actually said these words. So why do we think that they did? Well, it's because the quotes are things that we feel they could have said because of how they made us feel when they were around and the legacies that they left. Now, I know it's a bit sad to discover that your favorite quote may not have been uttered by your favorite author, but one, we can still be inspired by those words, and two, the legacy of those we love goes far beyond a single quote. as Carl says, they may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. We are living in an age of high anxiety and panic, and we can choose whether we want to fan the flames or to provide relief, whether that be through entertainment, education, inspiration, or a combination of these. How do you want your listeners to feel after they listen to your show? On a piece of paper, write down three adjectives that convey these feelings. Keep these words by your desk. They are your North Star, and they are going to

guide you, especially in times of crisis, because we're only human. We are emotional beings, and sometimes we get swept up in the heat of the moment, and our words don't always line up with our intentions. I know somebody who has a health-related podcast, and in one of her episodes last year, she went on a passionate rant against Donald Trump because his policies on health care were really harming her listeners. And she really cares about our listeners, but she received feedback from them saying that they really like her and they like her show, but they don't want to hear about her politics and they're not going to continue listening if that is the direction that she was taking. And so you need to know that, you know, your show is your show. You can do whatever you want with it.

at your platform, you can talk about whatever you want. Maybe you actually want to repel certain people. But let that be your choice and not an accident. This might sound like common sense, but we're not robots. As I said, things happen in life that have tremendous impact on our emotions, things we hear in the news, things that happen in our families. Before we podcast about it or tweet about it or email our list pouring out all of our emotions, take a pause. write it out for yourself and then reflect, is this how you want people to see you? Is this reflective of your brand or your show's goal? Is this reflective of how you want to be serving your audience? If the answer is yes, then share away. It's good to let people in. That's how they connect with you. But if you sleep on it, you might realize, whoa, I actually think I want to reframe that a bit or say it in another way. On a TED talk, David Brooks talked about the different. between happiness and joy, saying that happiness is the good feeling that comes with victory. It's about the expansion of self. You get a promotion, your team wins the Super Bowl.

Joy is about the transcendence of self. When you forget about yourself, it's when you're dancing with others and you lose yourself. To me, the highest thing to shoot for in life is moral joy. When you're serving a cause and you care about it so much, you're not. thinking about yourself at all. So that was David Brooks, and that TED Talk just really resonated with me. I want to bring people more joyful experiences. When they walk away from me, I want them to feel joyful and inspired and loved. And I have to be honest, I haven't been living up to that lately. Right now, it's March 2020, and many people are very worried about the coronavirus. I'm personally very calm about the disease itself. I'm calm by nature. I look at the

facts. Most people who catch coronavirus are not in serious danger and we can take precautions to protect the most vulnerable and of course we should be doing this. I'm more concerned about what the fear about this virus is doing to our society. With the economy, looks like we're headed into recession, my friends in the travel industry and many others are starting to go out of business. And so when people text me in a panic asking, what's it like in Europe, aren't you scared? I've tended to respond to that I think the world has gone a bit hysterical and spreading fear is making the problem much worse. So I've been a little bit frustrated by all the panic. And so yeah, I do. I believe that fear is making things much, much worse. And I even started to create

a travel podcast episode, kind of with that tone. Not exactly on that subject, but I had that tone. And so I paused for a second and I took a step back and just started to think about, okay, exactly what I was saying before. How do I want my listeners to feel at the end of this episode? I don't really don't want them to feel like I'm chastising anyone or like belittling their feelings. And so I was thinking, okay, what's a better way to respond to my friends who are freaking out? more than me. I could have responded to my friend in a more compassionate way because people are genuinely scared. And I don't want to simply express my opinion. I want to be mindful of the energy and the tone that I bring to the conversation and its outcome. So how do I want someone

to feel when the conversation is over? Do I want them to think that I think they're overreacting or do I want them to feel that I care about them? So instead of just being kind of dismissive, I could have encouraged them to consume less news about the coronavirus, which is coming at us fast and furious. And a lot of it is repetitive. And it sounds scary because people just keep repeating the same headlines over and over and over again. Now that we're encouraged to stay home, I think, I mean, let's focus on the positive, right? We have a beautiful opportunity to do all the things that we say we never have time for. We have time to take that online course to reconnect with friends and family who are far away via video chat or even friends

right next door via video chat. We can cook new recipes. We can batch record a couple of podcasts. We can look after neighbors who might need our help, even if it's just to check in on them and make them feel less isolated. So what a blessing to have this gift of time. So how will you use it to show up for your audience? How are they feeling right now? And And what are the three adjectives you want them to feel after they listen to your show? How do you want them to feel when they think about you 10 years from now? These feelings are your legacy and they are your brand. So being mindful of your brand and your story can help you stay focused on your content and your listener.

You are complex and dynamic and you've got a lot of interests and ideas and not all of them need to show up on your show. So what do you want to be known for? What will be your legacy? What excites you? And what kind of content are you going to create to build this reputation? And how are you going to act in real life to back this up? How do you want to feel every day? You yourself? And how do you want to make other people feel? In his book, High Performance Habits, Brendan Bouchard has an exercise. Write down the names of the people in your family. In 20 years, what three words would they use to describe your interactions? Start living those three words right now. Another thing that Brendan likes to say is bring the joy. And that quote can definitely be attributed to him. I love that quote. And it's something that I think about all the time.

So how can we bring the joy to our podcasts, to our interactions, and just in our everyday life? So go out there and bring the joy this week. Connect with your audience. They are looking to you for leadership and comfort and relief. And this is so powerful. So have fun with it. Enjoy this experience. And remember why you're showing up, who you're serving,

and what you want your legacy to be. You will never have this day again. Make it matter. Thank you for listening to podcasting step by step. You are now one step closer to launch a day. that podcast you've been dreaming about. But I want to get you even closer. I created a free guidebook for you with actionable worksheets called eight mistakes new podcasters make and how to fix them. To find that, head on over to sarah micahatel.com slash fix. Do you ever go blank or start rambling

when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free conversation sheet sheet with simple formulas that you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you're in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at sarah micotel.com slash blank no more.