Influential Introvert: Communication Coaching for Professionals with Performance Anxiety - You're the Voice Someone Needs to Hear Right Now

Episode Date: October 17, 2019

When I hear people ask podcasters what their proudest, most satisfying achievement has been in podcasting, they never say ‘money,’ or ‘popularity,’ or ‘I get to be the boss.’ They tell stories of listeners writing in to them thanking them for saving their lives. For helping them to feel less alone. For motivating them to try something new or to get out of a bad situation.    People today feel more alone than ever. In fact, Yale Professor Laurie Santos, and host of the Happiness Lab podcast, says feelings of loneliness have doubled since the 1980s and that 60 percent of college students in the U.S. say they feel very lonely most of the time. The negative health consequences of this are equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day!    People are desperate for to feel part of something, and I believe that’s why they are flocking to podcasts.    This year, 32 percent of Americans say they listen to podcasts monthly, up from 26 percent in 2018, the largest year-on-year jump since Edison Research started tracking this data. 22 percent listen weekly, up from 17 percent in 2018. This is the largest jump since Edison started putting out its Podcast Consumer study in 2013.   We are so hungry for connection and podcasts are bringing us together. First through our shows themselves, then online communities, then meet ups and conferences in real life. There’s a real feeling of ‘we are in this together.’    Now is the perfect time to get into podcasting. We need your voice.    Your voice will change the world.  *** You're invited to join the Podcasting Step by Step Facebook Group!   Also, visit sarahmikutel.com for more resources on how to podcast.   Ready to start your own show? Download my free guide: “8 Mistakes New Podcasters Make and How to Fix Them.”    Looking for a podcast media host? Use my Libsyn affiliate code POSTCARD to get the rest of this month for free and next month free.    I’m your podcast launch consultant, Sarah Mikutel. If you’d like to learn more about me, you can check out my other podcast, Postcard Academy travel podcast. This travel podcast is for the ‘experiences not things’ kind of persDo you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends.Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more confident in your conversations today.

Do you think Martin Luther King would have the same impact in front of a crowd today? Or would we hold up our phones to film him missing his message because we are somewhere else? We're busy posting our videos of him to social media or thinking about how we can get closer to get a better shot. We are there in body but not in spirit, documenting content that we may never look at again for a stranger on the internet. Meanwhile, we are afraid to talk to our neighbor. Today, when the world is supposedly more connected, you know, we've been hearing that forever. Technology is going to make us closer, blah, blah, blah. We all know that we've been feeling more alone and distracted than ever.

So can one voice still change the world? Are we capable of hearing it? I think that we are desperate for it. And today I will talk about why the world needs to hear your voice, your podcast, now more than ever. Now is the perfect time to be in podcasting because our culture needs it. Have you been wanting to start a podcast for a while now, but something's holding you back? Maybe it's fear of putting yourself out there or confusion about the technology. I'm Sarah Mikital and on podcasting step by step, I'll break down how to podcast with a little loving motivation to give you the skills and the confidence you need to finally launch that show of your dreams.

Let's get started. This past weekend, I was at the Shee Podcast Live conference in Atlanta, hanging out with all of my podcast friends, especially the E-leaguers. I had such a good time. I spoke at my first conference. This was so exciting. And nothing that I ever would have tried had I not started podcasting. I was so nervous to get up on stage. But once I did it, I loved it. I love public speaking. Who knew? And the crowd had questioned. my presentation, which was awesome. I really loved that. It was such a surprise. But at one point, I had to sneak away because I was in Atlanta and I have never really spent much time there. Definitely a city I want to go back to. But I snuck off to Atlanta's Old Fourth Ward. And that includes the historic Ebenezer Baptist Church, where Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. was baptized and where he served as co-paster with his father. So I went inside and I walked up the steps of this old brick church and sat down near the front of the altar. And they were playing

a recording of him, an audio recording. And I'm not sure if he was at church or in front of a crowd outside somewhere, but he was speaking and the people listening to him were responding back. It was like definitely a two-way. Yes, I feel you. I'm with you. It was such a powerful experience that I started crying in the church. I could not stop crying. I was not expecting this emotional response. I was just going to sort of pay my respects and see a little bit of history. And I was crying for the loss of Martin Luther King and just the state of society and how could someone have done this. But I was also crying for our time right now thinking, do we still take time to listen? His people were really listening, as I said, they were acknowledging, they were feeling. And when I'm traveling, I see people

just so disconnected from where they are. They will be in a very famous site. and take a picture and move on. And they didn't even see what they had traveled 3,000 miles to see. They were just documenting. And I know someday when they look back, they're going to think, I miss this. I was there, but I wasn't there. And I just think as a culture, we're feeling a little bit lost. We're going through the motions. And I think for me, that's why podcasts are growing in popularity. This year, 32% of Americans say they listen to podcasts monthly, up from 26% in 2018. So that's the largest year-on-year jump since Edison Research started tracking this data. And 22% of people now listen weekly. And that's up from 17% in 2018. And this is the largest jump

since Edison started putting out its podcast Consumer Study in 2013. And yes, we're listening to podcasts to learn, to be entertained, to be inspired. But the way we consume podcasts feel so different from other content, it feels better like a friend that's talking to us. And even when we're listening at double speed, I feel like it helps us slow down things a bit and just feel like, yeah, I'm not alone in this world. When we listen to podcasts, we are present in a way that's sometimes more real than us showing up somewhere in reality. We might not be there in body, but we are there in spirit. And that is the power of podcasting. Sometimes after a long day, we just want a Netflix binge. Those can feel great. They can provide

a necessary rest for our bodies. I remember long working days where I got home, ordered a pizza, and just sat in bed, and vegged out. So sometimes we need that. But it's not enough for our souls. We want connection, even when we think we don't. Did you ever have plans with a friend and they cancel and then you get super excited to get this time back to do nothing? And we've all been there. And we think that's what makes us happy. And it does a little bit. But you've probably also experienced a time when you made plans and you wanted to back out because you're tired, but you don't back out because you're a good friend. And then you end up having the time of your life.

We are happier when we feel connected to others, even when we think we'd be happier being alone, keeping our heads down, not talking to anyone. And there is research to support this. Yale professor Lori Santos teaches psychology and the good life, the most popular course in Yale's 300-year history. According to Lori, feelings of loneliness have doubled since the 1980s, and 60% of college students in the U.S. say they feel very lonely most of the time. This is a terrifying statistic that we should all be so alarmed about. The negative health consequences of this, she said, are equal to smoking. 15 cigarettes a day. Lorry created her Yale course to help students make choices that will

lead to a happier and a more fulfilling life. And she has a new podcast, which I love, called the Happiness Lab podcast, which is part of Malcolm Gladwell's Pushkin Industries podcast company. On episode four of the Happiness Lab, Lori talks to behavioral science professor Nick Epley about an experiment that he conducted on his train that he takes on his way to work in Chicago. He says, normally that train is so quiet. No one talks to each other. No one interacts. Even though he knows this train is filled with interesting people. And he wanted to find out what's happening? Why doesn't anyone talk to each other? So he recruited passengers to participate in some research and he broke them up into three groups. Group one couldn't talk to anyone.

Group two could do whatever they normally did, which was pretty much the same as group one. They didn't talk to their train neighbor. And group three would have to talk to their train neighbor. So who do you think had the most enjoyable train ride into work? By far, group three reported having a happier train ride into work. And it wasn't just the person who initiated the conversation. The person that they were talking to who is sitting next to them, they also reported. at having a better, more pleasant train ride into work.

And these results were the same for introverts and extroverts. So you might be thinking, I'm an introvert. I don't want to talk to my neighbor. We think we don't. But studies show that we actually feel happier throughout the day when we are interacting with people and having these conversations. And Nick, that behavioral science professor, repeated this experiment in a bunch of different social scenarios and the results were all the same. So why are we denying ourselves social interactions

that are scientifically proven to make us happier? Nick says that we avoid talking to strangers because we fear that the person who starts talking to us will be a crazy psycho who either wants to hurt us or take advantage of us. But most people are not psychos. So why do we think we are? Why do we think the world is filled with so many bad people? Because that's what we're seeing in the media. We are bombarded with such negative news that people perceive the world to be getting worse. But the world is actually getting better. When it comes to homicide, war, poverty, even pollution, we are doing better now than we were 30 years ago. And this is according to Harvard psychologist and author Stephen Pinker. This progress is a fact and not an opinion. And he has the

statistics to prove it, which he talks about in his TED talk, is the world getting better, or worse, a look at the numbers. In his TED Talk, Stephen shares some U.S. specific numbers, but then he also gets into some global stats. And I'll quote him here. Last year, which was 2017, the world had 12 ongoing wars, 60 autocracies, 10% of the world population in extreme poverty, and more than 10,000 nuclear weapons. But 30 years ago, there were 23 wars, 85 autocracies, 37% of the world population in extreme poverty and more than 60,000 nuclear weapons. True, last year was a terrible year for terrorism in Western Europe with 238 deaths, but in 1988, that was worse with 440 deaths. End quote. So do we still have life-threatening problems like

inequality, war, climate change? Of course we do. But Stephen Pinker says these are problems to be solved and not the apocalypse in waiting. As podcasters, we have the opportunity to be the Stephen Pinkers, the Martin Luther Kings. We can use our voice to help other people rise up and be their best selves. Rather than scaring them and showing them the worst, we can be the voice that they need to hear. Now you might be thinking, whoa, Sarah, hang on, did you just compare me to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.? This isn't about competition or comparison. It's about. inspiration, Martin Luther King didn't write some of the most memorable speeches in history in a vacuum. He was also inspired by other people. He borrowed from others like Gandhi, Lincoln, Thoreau, Jesus. He studied the work of the people he admired and he made it his own. Throughout time, people have already said pretty much everything there is to be said, but how you interpret and share and engage with life, that is individual to you. That's what's going to draw people. to you. Do I believe that Martin Luther King, Jr. could have the same impact today? Absolutely.

But outside his church, I think he would be most effective as a podcaster, as opposed to something like a YouTuber, because we feel his message as if he were speaking directly to us on a podcast. We are so hungry for connection, and podcasts are bringing us together, first through our shows themselves, then online communities, then meetups and conferences in real life. There is a real feeling of we are in this together. At the She Podcast Live Conference in Atlanta, I had planned on wearing a dress for the session that I led, but instead I wore the conference t-shirt, which said, your voice will change the world, because podcasting is literally life-changing for your listeners and also for you. When I hear people ask,

podcasters what their proudest, most satisfying achievement has been in podcasting. They never say money or popularity or I get to be the boss. They tell stories of listeners writing into them, thanking them for saving their lives, for helping them to feel less alone, for motivating them to try something new or to get out of a bad situation. You don't have to be a preacher to have a powerful podcast. And you can design your show to make money for your business while at the same time making a positive, meaningful impact on your community. Money and meaning are not mutually exclusive and the best kinds of businesses lead with love and service. At Shee Podcast Live, I felt so grateful to be in the company of such fantastic women and world-class podcasters,

people who are in love with the audio art form and are using podcasting to teach people social media, shine a light on the heroes fighting to keep farming and food safe and sustainable, transforming couch potatoes into fitness fans, encouraging people to get outside and see the U.S. through its national parks, sharing imagined conversations with famous people purely for entertainment, helping people thrive at any age, especially after 40, teaching people the art of speaking up. Seriously, I can't believe how many talented,

women, I know, and their shows are incredible, and it just makes you realize the possibilities for podcasting are endless. There is an audience for everything, and there are people out there who want to hear from you, who need to hear from you, who need that connection and are waiting to be inspired by you. And how exciting is that? Doesn't it make your heart just swell that your podcast has such purpose. Whenever you worry about not being good enough or not being ready, remember that there is an audience who will love you for who you are and they don't want you to be perfect. Think about them and don't think about your show as just being all about you and your fears. That's so common for all of us. I was definitely that way. But your audience wants

you to be real and to feel like you get them. So if you haven't launched yet, please launch. Now is the perfect time to get into podcasting. We need your voice. Your voice will change the world. Thank you for listening to podcasting step by step. You are now one step closer to launching that podcast you've been dreaming about. But I want to get you even closer. I created a free guidebook for you with actionable worksheets called Eight Mistakes New Podcasts. make and how to fix them. To find that, head on over to sarah micotel.com slash fix. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free conversation sheet sheet with simple formulas that you can use so you can respond with clarity,

whether you're in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at sarahmicatel.com slash blank no more.