Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Andy Richter, Listener Questions

Episode Date: April 12, 2019

Conan’s sidekick Andy Richter joins Conan writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell for a candid conversation about family, initially being hired as the first writer for Late Night with Conan before becoming his sidekick, the evolution of the Conan remotes, and getting poison ivy during his Woodstock remote. Plus, Mike and Jessie talk about sketch rewrites as they answer more listener questions.This episode is brought to you by Candid (www.candidco.com/insideconan), Vrbo, and Daily Harvest (www.daily-harvest.com code: insideconan).Andy at Mardi Gras: http://conan25.teamcoco.com/node/105202Andy at Woodstock: http://conan25.teamcoco.com/node/105842Check out Conan25: The Remotes here: https://conan25.teamcoco.com/Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail] Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

And now it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hey, welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Yeah. I'm Jesse Gaskell. I'm Mike Sweeney. We're writers here on The Conan Show, and we're very excited about today's guest. Yes, we hooked a big fish today. And we dedicated the whole show to him.

Yeah, he's a talker. He's fantastic. I think he enjoyed having people to listen to him. Yes. But yes, Andy Richter. And not interrupt him. That's foreshadowing. Andy Richter, the sidekick of our show.

Andy. Long running. And Andy, who started on the show before it even went on the air. That's right. In the summer of 1993. So he has a lot of great stories. He does. A lot of insight into how this place works.

And we're also going to handle a listener question on today's show. Yeah. I've been really enjoying those voicemails. I love those. Keep those coming. Yeah, they're fantastic. But first, here's Andy. We're joined by someone who I think has pretty good insight into how this weird place works.

Yes. Even though he's really worked it. So he has this great office all the way at the end of a hallway where you truly have to go out of your way to hunt him down. It's very, very smart. Oh, Andy Richter. Oh. Oh, Andy Richter. Oh, yes. Andy Richter. Hello.

Hello, everyone. Forget to say who it is. Everyone knows his voice. They should. No, this place is, first of all, I was tailor-made to be a sidekick because I was raised into a family

who I never got one fucking minute to decide what I want because there was always four other voices telling me what they wanted. And I'm good at facilitating. And I, at an early age, derived pleasure from helping other people. And like my mother will say to me, like, when you were like, you know, 11 years old, I stopped arguing with you because you won all the arguments.

And she said, and then I started asking you for advice because you gave real great advice, which is all sounds real cute until you realize it's the dissolution of a family. And she's asking me for advice about that. Oh, I thought you were winning arguments to solve the family. No.

Okay. You fucker. Well, I'm just. Please. Don't joke. I'm trying to share here. I'm not joking. No, no.

My winning argument. That's too much responsibility. Yeah. No. So I'm born to be codependent. I'm born to be next to someone more high strung, who needs it more, who needs to control the agenda more. But I get what I want out of life. And I also control the person that thinks they're controlling things.

Right. It's a little bit of a puppet. Yeah. I mean, that person won their arguments is clearly, they have a big picture going on. So are you saying Conan's your mother? Huh? Is Conan your mother?

Or one of your siblings? You know, no. Because you said four people were kind of like. Well, but I picked a number. And they're not, no. And I don't want to. No. First of all, just what I've said is going to cause.

Of course. Why do you always say that? But in fairness, we really pulled it out of you. Also, they're probably not listening to this. No, actually, they probably aren't. Although, I don't know. You know, I was on Marc Maron's WTF in its very early, early days.. And I thought, I thought, well, yeah, oh, absolutely. Like, and I just thought podcasts, like what are those?

No problem. I can tell them all I want about my family. Yeah. Some fucker emails my dad and says, you got to hear all this stuff your son said about you. And then I get it from my mom, too, you know, who then my dad sent it on to my mom. And my mom, and like, it was things that I said, like, like the family pastime was sitting somewhere doing nothing and judging all the people that were doing things. And that how we all lived under a huge, like how, like, you know, like the main thing that we had in common was the big umbrella of depression

that we lived under. That's not bad. And, oh, not when, for my mother, it's terrible. And she's like, and she's like, she's like, I wish sometimes you would, that's not very flattering. I wish sometimes you would temper your, you know, your descriptions of our family and the criticisms with some positive things. And I said, all right, that's fair.

That is fair. That is fair. And I will attempt to do that. And she said, because I don't think that we just sit around criticizing everybody. That's not all we do. I think we can be very positive within a minute she's talking about her sister and and her husband and saying oh my god they're such a fucking mess they got you know they're so far in debt and he's just so and i was like and i said yeah yeah mom we're real we're real positive aren't we we're real

fucking pollyannas about everything aren't we if you give me a sec i'm emailing your dad it was anyway go ahead it was so perfect because it was like one of those just like where she was like, oh! Got her! Fuck you, mom! Well, no one likes to really be honest about what the family dynamic is. I do. I'm fine with it because I mean,

it's the example for the world. You fix the family, you fix the world. So don't be so fucking scared to be broken and to be talk about how you're broken and fix it. You know, if fixing the family is the way to fix the world. Absolutely. In big trouble. Well, no, but no, but it is.

I mean, I believe in that. I believe in families are fixed with a lot of work. The family is that is the laboratory. Yes. for the way that you interact with the world. So you feel there's been growth within your family, the people you're talking about right now? No. No. No. I mean, there's been growth in terms of how I deal with it.

Right. There's been growth in terms of boundaries set uh, boundary set and distances set and like, and just shit that I'm not going to put up with anymore. Right. You know? So, uh, yeah.

And for your mom, I mean, if your mom is listening, you know, I think one of the positive reflections on your family is that you turned out so well and that you were successful and, you know, well adjusted now.

And so I'm just saying that, that, that you're being very, you're now. So I'm just saying that that can- You're being very, yeah. I'm trying to give her something. No, I'm always amazed. And I think this is a wonderful, wonderful thing that the tribe of women are so protective of each other, especially even ones that they don't even know.

It amazes me. It amazes me sometimes where it's just like, I can't, the details of it that have happened in my life lately are. That's how oppressive white males are that they need, even long distance, they have to be bonded together. Well,

no, I get it. Right. Exactly. No. I mean, it's like, you know,

women got to stick out for each other, stick up for each other because they get the shit into the stick virtually everywhere on earth. Well, that changes. Andy and I are really going to stick up for each other. they get the shit into the stick virtually everywhere on earth. Well, that changes. Andy and I are really going to stick up for each other. But anyway, but you know,

your notion of like me being off in a corner, which is very true. I, I, I am on an Island here. Right. And that is, well,

you're protected by a gatekeeper, your assistant. Oh yeah. She's a real, she's a real fucking bulldog. Half the time she's not even there. She's the sweetest person. She texts me things and she's like, would it be okay if I come in like an hour late for work?

And then I'll just like text her back like air quotes work. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Work. What is there to do for me? Please. Although now, lately. We all need to keep up a facade. Now I ought to be paying her therapist fees.

Oh, you're playing therapist for her. No, no, no, no. Oh, she for you. I should be paying her therapist fees. I'm creasing her ear. But yeah, no, that Is she giving you good advice? Yes. All right.

No, she's a lovely person. She's a very... Very empathetic. Very important person. I knew her. She babysat for my kids. She babysat for our kids before she babysat for your kids.

Yeah, yeah. So she was... You stole her. Galitza Hayek is my assistant and she... I first got to know her, she was Jill Soloway's

personal assistant. And I've known Jill Soloway since about 1989, maybe? You did. Did you meet her

during the real life? I actually dated Jill Soloway for a couple of months. Really? Oh, no. And then... No, I met her before the real life? I actually dated Jill Soloway for a couple of months. Really? Oh, no. And then, no, I met her before the real life. I met her because one of my first improv coaches

was so fucking lazy that he would have our rehearsals at his apartment and he was Jill's live-in boyfriend at the time. And he would lie on the couch while we did improv he couldn't even like be bothered to sit upright and he was and the thing too is that he was kind of at the time like a like she exhausted improv wunderkind like he didn't go to college yeah he was younger than most of the people that were doing the improv yeah laying on the fucking couch and it just was like even from that time i know that guy i was i was

just like he sounds like a genius set up and then so i would and then i would meet and then jill would uh you know jill would you know come in yeah come in and into the rehearsal yeah usually accompanied by my future sister-in-law becky thyer oh yeah which is becky was uh jill uh Becky Thire. Oh. Yeah. Which is, Becky was, Jill usually has at least three or four people. Now, I think it's like 50 in her thrall. Right. And at the time, Becky was in her thrall, part of her entourage. And so, I got to know them, got to know the kind of like larger group of fantastically crazy improv Chicago women.

And that's how I met. And I first met Sarah through Becky reading her letters out loud is the first exposure. Reading Sarah's? Yeah, yeah. Because she's funny. Because she's a great writer and she's very funny. Right, right. And then I met her once.

I met Sarah once in a bar in Chicago. I just happened into a bar and she was visiting. And I was like, oh, I know you. Heard your letters. Yeah. What a great opening line. I know. I've heard your letters read aloud.

But then it was when we did the Real Library Adventure in Los Angeles. And Sarah had finished college, was living in Denver and then came to LA to be with the Real Life Brady Bunch. Oh. And that's how we started dating. Oh, wow. That's a great story. I love that. Yeah. And that, the Real Life Brady Bunch was also kind of your, was that your foray?

Like, was that how you met Lorne Michaels? And I mean, was, or like you had to know about Chanel people? No, no, that was all, that was, that was, well, yes. That's how you met Davy Jones. That's how I did meet Davy Jones. Okay. And yes, who was, who was so fucking great. Davy, best Davy Jones story.

He's, he's tiny, very horse horsey because he had been a jockey he lives in some little town very horsey yeah yeah well he's got like he's got a bunch of horses okay he's got a bunch of i mean horsey oh right okay he lived on a horse farm and he was like big choppers or something people with their dogs where the jockeys become like the horse no no no he told he told but he told us all a story about one day getting on his horse, riding the like three miles into town to the pub with his dog, getting completely drunk, riding home in the rain, passing out and falling off the horse. And the next day people in town telling him oh i saw you passed out in the

ditch with your horse and your dog standing waiting for you to wake up like nobody stops or anything just like hey you know like haha i saw you laying in the ditch passed out drunk poor dog and horse waiting in the rain sold out by your pets they should know to clear out of there see the horse and the dog just standing there it's fucking that's life um but yeah so anyway uh i that me having that office and it is weird when i my presence here there are people that's on the third floor i'm kind of in the upper corner of the yeah you're with us on the third floor because we've talked a little bit with everyone about the second and third floor dichotomy right right right on the third floor. I'm kind of in the upper corner of the third floor. Yeah, you're with us on the third floor. Yes. Because we've talked a little bit with everyone about the second and third floor dichotomy. Right, right, right.

Right. Yeah. The third floor is where it happens. As symbolized by the cool people in the kitchen. That's where, the third floor is where the lean is. The second floor is where the fat is. Let's just put it that way.

Right. Yay. Yes. Lard, perhaps? No. No. Just, you know, the stuff that keeps us warm doesn't really.

So all of those extra delicious snacks they're getting is really just weighing them down. But no, so I do definitely, I'm on an island there. And when I was on the Real Life Brady Bunch, I made my own little island. It's what i do when i would when i would in college you go to class i'd you know i'd like take a desk kind of outside of the like kind of the normal thing and i think it's in reaction to all of that kind of like that feeling from a very early age of like uh of like hi oh hi what could what do you have for me what could give me give, give me, I need something. And so it's always had this kind of distance. And like the Brady Bunch,

the Brady Bunch was very, I'm not a loner. I wish I were a loner. I wish I were a loner because I, I don't, I honestly, I don't, I'm like,

when is this airing? I love it. If you became a loner. Oh, this is Friday. I wish you became a loner on the show. Like you just stopped talking to Conan and just turned your chair away. Well, we don't.

Honestly, we don't. I'm an introvert. We talk in rehearsal, but like we don't talk a lot nowadays. But I mean, you know, that's a natural thing when you got families and things. But, you know. He is your mother. You've kind of run out of things to talk about probably. It's been a long time.

A little bit. And especially because, I mean, I don't know if this has been covered on this show. He says the same 20 things over and over and over to the point where you want to just carve your own face off with a jar lid. And he says it every time like it's the first time he's saying it. Yeah. And everybody's got their own, like like here's what you are to me like you're you know whatever i mean i'm just you're apple head yeah and then it's just like

that's all you are now if apple head's mom dies conan might say sorry about your mom and then it's right back to apple head you know because it's like yeah yeah because it's yeah how do you give birth to an apple but i don't know but i I just picked that off the top of my head. But yeah, my little office up there, too, reminds me very much of family gatherings. And I've said this, and I say this as a flaw and as something that I wish I could do, is that my primary state is in a house full of people but in a room alone and uh and there's something that's like tragic about that to me something that's like that and and it's kind of what i am here i mean i interacted there's a lot of people you know i have a lot of very close friends here almost like family you know there are people like there are people that have been on this show for

you know i mean you're one of them. Yeah. And I mean, but I mean, you've done like Steve Hollander, you know, Steve Hollander was a PA and now he's our stage manager. And I, I feel closer to him than I do some of my like cousins and things like there are people on this show. John Rau does props. I mean, he feels like family to me. Yes. Every day.

Not in bullshit. Like we're a family, but I mean, really seriously. Bill Tull. I,, he feels like family to me. Yes. You see them every day. Not in bullshit, like we're a family, but I mean, really, seriously. Bill Tull. Yeah, absolutely. Bill's the same way. I love him unconditionally. Just when I'm in their presence, it is as comfortable as somebody that I was raised with. You've been through crazy

shit together. Yeah. And you've spent more consecutive hours with them, too. And also, too too and crazy high pressure things where everyone's waiting around for oh my god we need this problem five minutes and we're gonna so there's also too there's no there's no hierarchical work shit there's just me and there's just me the guy and them the guy or me the woman in there you know or me the man and her the woman you know what depending on the gender of the person it's just like like i don't you know i don't get a sense i mean people do have to like there are like they have to cater to my schedule when we're doing things you know

and and i do have sort of like say like in props i might have a supervisory kind of thing like that prop is no good get Get another prop. Right. But other than that, that was a very hard thing to learn. I found coming in when you start here on a late night show and you're producing something and someone goes, all right, here's what we made or here's the photo research and going, having realizing you don't like it and having to go, can you look again?

Yeah, yeah. The first few times I felt so self-conscious. I got used to that real quick because of just time. You have to. Because of time. Also, something would get cut if you didn't get it right. You learn very quickly. Only time I have ever gotten anybody fired in my showbiz career was some prop people that were on Andy Richter Controls the Universe who brought in garbage. Right.

And in comedy, like one of the, I would say, you know, props, it'd be hard to say which department but you've got costumes hair makeup and props for comedy they are like fucking surgeons tools yes if they're wrong you can you can ruin the whole thing and if they're good they actually make they think of things you didn't even think of yeah which is i mean that, that's fantastic. And there was a specific bit where I was, it was like one of the fantasy sequence and I was like a Superman. Yeah. And I squeezed an old lady's head into a diamond. Yeah. And so they brought, it was like time to fucking do this shot.

Right. And they brought like, here's your diamonds and it was like some sort of something that would be at you know like a display case for like a geologist hobbyist of different crystals half of them were broken like like they were just broken in half there was absolutely nothing that would work and i just and i it was just lazy. It was just terrible. And it's like, I have to squeeze an old lady's head and then hold up a fucking diamond, like a diamond,

the size of a grapefruit. You know, it's like, I can't hold up a, a fucking broken. Yeah. Yeah. You know,

and I'm curious how you, you squeeze the old lady's head. I grabbed, well, it's on video head that you know no I grabbed the old lady's head and you know I don't squeeze in my hands I sell it with my arms you know yeah um but yeah so that was I walked away and uh said like I want to watch they gotta go these people that's that's because also, because I did props in Chicago. That's no fake diamond. Oh, you did. That's what I ended up doing in film production. Yeah.

That is that I had worked into props and special effects prop rigging. So I have like. So you know it's possible. I have. Yes. And I have, and I also have a sense. I mean, I have a sense of professionalism about every. But, but also in my many years knowing knowing you you're very mechanically inclined and you are

great at fixing things whether it's people stuff or like just literally machinery you're very hands on well thank you yes yeah it's something of absurd well thank you yeah no i you know i i grew up in building trades yeah and plumbing and carpentry and things like that you have useful skills i do oh i do i can i can do i can do most most simple household things uh and i can like i can electricity i'm not so good with but i can change like i can change light fixtures and light switches yeah but i can't rewire like rewiring rewiring of a room yeah rewiring is something it's not that i i rewired someone's houseboat because i was staying on it for two weeks so i was like they were complaining they didn't have some so i i went in a pontoon and figured oh my god figured it out and just

yeah i mean it's doing electrical work on the water sounds extremely i i had a death wish but uh i i learned all that stuff too because my mother was so cheap, she stopped calling people to repair things. She's like, figure it out. I'm like, okay, I'll take the oven apart. That was before YouTube. That's true.

It is. Now I don't do anything. Do you still do stuff like that around the house? I do things that aren't too much of a hassle. Right. You know, like- Time. They don't need a lot of time.

Yeah. It's all- Changing lights. It's all like a weighing of like- Right. Me changing the handle of this faucet, like the accessibility of the faucet handle. Right. How long will it take me to do it?

Right. There's other things like caulking I'm terrible at. So I'll call somebody in to caulk because I can't. It's a mess. But also, I would do things around the house and no one gave a shit now. So I'd be like, well, why am I going to waste? Like, I'd be like, hey, look, look, I changed a faucet. So you only do things if you get credit for it.

My wife and kids would be like, what are you telling us for? It's always to me, too. A lot of the times those chores are less about money saving. It's not like, I'm not going to pay somebody. It's more like, if I just do it, it'll get fucking done. And then I don't have to get into

the like, well, I can't be here on Tuesday. And I'm like, well, I have to work. And we're like, well, can it be Thursday? No, like all that shit's way, yeah. All that shit. And then they're late. Yeah. All that shit's way more frustrating to me than crawling under the house and changing a valve. Well, you just lost me there. I got a lot of stuff under the house.

No, it is fun. It's cozy. Yeah. And no one can get to you. It's that you separating yourself. Yes, that's true. That's true. You've almost set it up like you're apart from the group up in your,

I think people are going to try to come and rescue you. They're going to try to storm the building. I have said too, there are people, people whom I genuinely love and have tremendous affection for who work on this show daily that I will not see for two weeks at a time because I go to my office and I, well, my real pattern is I go to, I use the Warner Brothers gym. I go to the gym,

usually now go home and then go back to my office, go home and shower, go to the office, rehearsal time, go to the stage, go to my dressing room, go to the stage, go out the back door, go home. So, you know, I mean, it's very rare that I'm in other areas of the building. I have like- Sometimes I see you in the kitchen. Yeah. Well, the kitchen, yeah.

That's sort of on the way. And that's usually just throwing away my lunch because I don't want the food smell in my own office. You know what I kind of love? The point of doing this today was to talk about all the remotes. Oh, yeah. That's right. Our producer just wrote the word remotes down.

Like, that's, you know, I think when we went off on plumbing, I think plumbing was the last straw. Yeah, us talking about remotes would be so much fucking better than this. Than me talking about wanting to carve my own face off because Conan's repetitive

hey that's the real gold it's more than 20 things um remotes here's the thing i don't remember half of that i knew you were gonna say it uh i don't remember half of that i mean it was two i wait well i'll tell you the way that remotes evolved and i used to have an ax to grind about this i don't anymore because i don't care but you do care andy you care too much you're so you're like from the scott ackerman school of interrupt i don't know what that means yeah well if you did you'd be insulted i won't interrupt all right we'll just edit that out um or amplify it if uh you know like, oh, here's a story. You're working up steam. Here we go. Got some momentum. I'm just about to get to something.

I apologize. Oh my God. Okay, go ahead. Remote started. I'll be back to read a commercial. Oh my God, you did it again. Yeah, right. In the early days.

I have Aukerman in an earpiece. He's telling me when to drop. When the fucking Conan show. Go now. The Conan show still had afterbirth on it. Robert Smigel came to me and said, hey, here's an idea. And I also do in those days.

I was not like i did not come into the situation based on my previous my previous uh my opening monologue here i did not come into this thing looking for ways for andy richter to shine on television like i just like i that's never how i was and i you know and i was in improv too so it was. And I, you know, and I was an improv, too. So you were hired originally to be a writer. I was I was the first writer hired. Sorry to interrupt. No, that's all right.

Yeah. No, I was the first writer hired and I was hired. You asked this because of the real life Brady Bunch was in New York. And actually, a couple of friends of mine were on SNL for one season, Melanie Hutzel and Beth Cahill, Betty Cahill. And because of their connection to SNL, I would go hang out with them

and go see them in SNL. And I met Robert and Robert and I hit it off. Oh, you met Robert Smigel. I met Robert Smigel there in New York and we hit it off. There was something there with SNL. But it was just like, you know, like we hit it off because, you know, we're funny guys in a similar way

and appreciated each other's being funny. Then when the Brady Bunch went to L.A., Beth, who is a very good friend of mine, came out to L.A. to do whatever SNL people do in L.A. for the summer. Good tan. mind came out to la to do whatever snl people do in la for the summer and uh and uh and robert came out to work on what i guess was the hans and franz script and the three of us and a couple other people we hung out we'd go out and and and socialize and then then i got a part i was back in chicago i got a part in the movie Cabin Boy. I was in LA. I'd done Cabin Boy.

Was literally looking for like a, like when I got hired on the Conan show, the same day I got a call that I'd gotten a job as an assistant manager in a movie theater in Westwood. Oh, wow. Which I was already terrified that I would be behind the fucking counter selling popcorn when Cabin Boy was on the screen. Oh, no.

Yeah, yeah. Yes, it's really me. But no, I was able to say, I'm sorry, I got a job. Robert asked me, hey, I'm working with this guy, Conan, who I just heard. And I'd sat in front of Bob Odenkirkirk and carol leifer at a jeff garland taping uh jeff garland had a sitcom where he played a ralph cramden ish cop and uh i can't see him taking a civil service test and uh and i was uh i was sitting in front of them eavesdropping on bob talking about conan and conan's my friend and this and that and that. So I was like, oh, this is that Conan guy.

And I was out there with Kate Flannery for another name drop who I've known for. Kate Flannery and I were in our very first improv classes together. In that apartment. I'm sorry. Jesus. I swear to God. I won't say another word. Why in that apartment?

What does that add? I don't know. What does anything add? It was a class. No, the apartment was for rehearsals. What does Bob Odenkirk mentioning his friend Conan add? It's how I heard about Conan. I'm leading up to my introduction to Conan O'Brien.

I will stop talking on my podcast. You're right. Go ahead. So Robert says, I'm going to be head writer on this Conan show. Do you want to meet him? Possibly get a job as a writer. Sure, I say. We go to Junior's Deli.

Look it up. It's been well documented. Conan apparently goes right back to Robert and says, hire this guy. I love him. Because I did things like when they put the knish down on the table, which he was like, it was like I'd ordered a baby's head, you know, for him. I said I had borscht and a knish. And he was just like, oh, here comes the monkey brains. And and when the knish that particular knish, the way that they were made, it had like a knob of dough on the top.

And when they set it down, I leaned in close to him and I just went, it looks like a tit. And I knew like that was like, that's the kind of thing, it's the kind of play you make in a job interview that's either gonna score big or lose you the job. And I felt like it looks like a tit. With this guy was probably a winner. And it delighted him.

So he- That's great job. He had never seen a tit at that point. That's good job interview advice. You were giving him. Yes. So he. That's great. He had never seen a tit at that point. That's good job interview advice. You were giving him good information. If you're at a job interview. I could instantly tell I could be as stupid as I wanted to be. Right.

In like the best, like the happiest, the ways, the stupid that makes you the happiest. Right. And apparently he got to Robert and was was like hire him hire him hire him and robert's like well let's see what he writes so i actually went to san francisco where my wife was my wife to be at the time was staying and i had never written a packet or anything i didn't so i just was like uh i don't know it sounds like a talk showy things and i um was at jill soloway's house used jill soloway's uh typewriter and her and her beige paper i was like you don't have white paper she's like no i have beige paper i was like this is not very professional but i didn't go to the fucking

cvs and buy white paper i just used her beige paper. And I wrote up this stuff. And I mean, it wasn't bad. It was, you know, it was an okay packet for someone who was just your first dry run at writing a packet. But did you already know they loved you? I did not. I did not. I knew we had fun. I knew that we had had fun, but I didn't know.

And it was very daunting to me to be a writer, you know? Sure. And then, and that's how I got hired. And I got hired off your very first packet you ever wrote. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

That has never happened to anyone else. But it was also, it wasn't just, I mean, I also was coming into it, I think. I think somewhere in Robert's mind, they knew that I would be a hybrid of performer. And it may have even been in Robert's mind that I was going to be a sidekick on the show. to think Conan, and especially at that point in his Conan-ness, it might be a good thing to have him have a sidekick. Especially because there hasn't been a sidekick for a long time, so already it's kind of like we were already in the mind of like recycling tropes that had been kind of put off to the side a little bit and kind of having a throwback of kind of the look of the show and the feel of

the show being kind of more, you know, not trying to be, you know, Jon Stewart in a leather jacket and a t-shirt like to try to, you know, that's now. Yeah. But I mean, yeah, no, that's what we've become. That's what we've become now that we're like, you know, divorced dads moving to Marina Del Rey. But so that was, I think that that was probably in Robert's mind. Because then there had also been this talk that we were going to have like sort of a repertoire, repertoire a repertory of of characters which would have been you know like me and dino and and louis ck and i think maybe i don't know if mccann was there at that point he wasn't yeah or stack was stacked stack wasn't but they started after yeah but they were

going to be like perform like we're going to have performers that would that would be uh true yeah yeah a la steve allen because steve allen you know had tim conway and carol burnett and that would be... Sketch troupe. Yeah. A la Steve Allen, because Steve Allen, you know, had Tim Conway and Carol Burnett. And Robert came to me one day and said, hey, well, he had already, from the very first test shows, which the first test show was just,

it was Bob Costas' later set. And they just had Conan basically sit in a chair and put lights and cameras on him and robert i was in my office and i saw conan on the monitor and he said go sit with him i was like okay keep in company just keep him talking so i sat with him and he and i already had shtick around the office like he he had shtick like because he did this he doesn't do it so much anymore but he had this very what i found to be a very aggressive thing to do, which is to just while you're at your desk trying to write comedy for his fucking show, he would come in with his guitar and stand a fucking foot from you

and play some goddamn hillbilly or rockabilly thing that you've heard a thousand fucking times and uh and he would just stand there and most people just were frozen in sort of awkward like it's terrifying yeah but what i would do is i would get up and i'd go wow yeah do it yeah wow and it usually would make him kind of back off you know like it's called aggressive yes and out aggressive yeah and and so we and so we had a thing we had kind of like like you know like smarty and dummy you know and and like routines that we did around the office that we just fell into naturally and and and trade off you know like like you know one of us would top and one of us would bottom when it came to smarty and dummy we'd sort of trade it off um so it was already like it wasn't a surprise to go sit talk to him because we already you know had a thing yeah and then as

those test shows went on every test show it was go out there, stand with him. Okay. And then after a few of those, and they're very informal, like one was just like a cooking segment, like some cook came in and cooked something just so he could practice that kind of thing. And then Robert called me in his office and said, or I know he came into my office, said, hey, would you be interested in being the sidekick? And I was like, oh, I was kind of hoping to be like one of the sketch players. And he's like, well, OK, think about it. And I said, yeah, and I should talk to my wife about it. Although I don't even know if we were married.

We weren't married yet. And he left my office. And the door shut as he left my office. And I was like, who the fuck am I kidding? Yeah. Who the fuck am I kidding? Do. Who the fuck am I kidding? Do you want to be on TV every night? Right.

No. I think I'd rather be on TV maybe, you know, averaging one and a half nights a week, you know? Yeah. So I was like, yeah. I'm going to turn down the promotion. Yeah, yeah. And then we did a number of tests. We did about two weeks of test shows.

And I just assumed, I've been been blessedly blissfully ignorant about a lot of things and one of them was oh i'm gonna be on this show and i did these test shows and i just you know was there being myself uh robert robert endorsed you know just like do whatever you want say whatever you want don't be shy and then after one of the last test shows somebody came to me right jeff ross, somebody came to me. Jeff Ross, I think, came to me right before we were supposed to go on and said, leave your suit on after the show. You're going to dinner with Lauren.

Oh, boy. So I was like, okay. So Conan and I got in a car with Eugene, Lauren's driver, his notorious driver at the time. And we were taken to a restaurant and ushered to a table where there sat Lorne and Steve Martin. Wow. Yeah. And it was the four of us having dinner, you know. No big deal.

Yeah. And I had to kind of like, you know, I had to say some stuff, but I don't, you know. Did you do the tit joke again? The what? The tit joke. No, no, I didn't. I didn't.

That bread didn't look right. Bring me another. Do you have a bowl? Do you have a bowl that you could maybe stick a biscuit on top? That takes the pressure of talking to Lauren off to having Steve Martin right there. Yes, yes. That's true. It's a very clever play on his part.

Yeah. No, Lauren. Yeah, Lauren. My contact with Lauren was very minimal, except for him. Like a couple, there were a couple different times when we had our Christmas party in the studio when times were tight or something. And he would pop in very late. And two years, I don't know if they were in a row, he saw me and said, oh, Andy, you're still with the show, eh? Like the same joke.

He also, too, he's like, it's kind of funny in a way. I mean, I know so many people that know him better that have a real affection for him. I mean, and so I trust them. But like after the first, after our debut night, we got back to, everyone got back to their desks. And there was a Tiffany desk clock that had late night with Conan O'Brien, September 13th, 1993 engraved on it. And the card said, it's been a pleasure working with you, Lorne. Past tense. past fucking tense that's great

and it's such and it's like that's not by chance that's not like that's not like like there's like you know

great job and here's to many more yes exactly that's what somebody who's not a mind fucker covering all the bases it's been great working with you

yeah You bring all the bases. It's been great working with you. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, yeah. Well, going back for a second, it sounds like the way that it all played out organically with you becoming the sidekick probably freed you up to be yourself a lot more than if they had said, all right, we're auditioning sidekicks. Come in, you know, there's a line sidekicks. Come in. There's a line

of people. That's just good taste. That's just good taste in understanding comedy. I mean, to... For that, yeah. No, I don't think Robert... I mean, I don't know. I'm not into his head. And I've actually never asked him,

at what point did you think Andy should be the sidekick on yeah how soon did he know i always heard it was right away yeah well that i mean that would make sense you know like the second i i had always but not any detailed way once you and conan met and it just clicked right away it was like oh andy should be the sidekick yeah but he was still sort of playing it right i think it sounds right right well i did you know uh we'll have to talk to her ask robert yeah there was to get him robert yeah well robert you know robert was very encouraging to me and i'm going

to be really frank here for a second robert was very encouraging to me early on about be as funny as you can be. Do as much as you can. Be as funny as you can be. And after about a month and a half or so, he said, take it back a notch. Oh, uh-huh. And he said, it's not because you're not being funny. You're being funny. You're being too funny.

And that was, I mean, I am a producer of a television show on this particular show. And I understand, like I can understand that. I can understand that note. And it's a useful note. It's a necessary note but as a performer and as a person who's like growing his own like artistic persona on this kind of endeavor it was like oh fuck okay you know your wings are being clipped a little bit a little bit but i mean but that's not the nature of the beast you know and and it's like you telling me not to interrupt.

That's true. You haven't said a thing in the last. I'm really scared. He's never going to speak again. That's okay. Yeah, but here's the difference. I didn't have an intermediary. I said it right to your fucking face.

Yes, you did. Yeah. I like it. It's bracing. I was like. You fixed my thing. I was like, let's check the list of who's the alpha here. Hey, hey, alpha, Andy.

Top of the call sheet. Yeah. No, but remote. I'm alpha male around houseplants. Remote started out. Very tough. Remote started. Robert says to me, the marathon's being run. I had an idea.

You run the marathon, but because you're busy and you don't like to run that much, you do it in segments over days. And I was able to go. And that was all I needed. That was great. Like, oh, okay. Yeah. And I went and produced that piece and, you know, stopped in pizza places and, you know, like jogged through a museum or something with the number on, you know, with street clothes with it on.

So it started the first day. It's like, oh, he's going to be in the marathon. But then you guys, did it go all week? Yeah, it goes over a number of days. That's great. I may even have been like in a pedicab at one point, you know, just like, it's like. It's funny, like the third day, it's like just the premise.

Oh, he's still out there. He's still out there running the marathon. So that was the first really kind of in the field piece that wasn't just a sketch shot somewhere in the building. And then after that, I don't, it may have been, I went to the Superbowl or something. I saw, and the Mardi Gras, you went to Mardi Gras. I went to Mardi Bowl or something. I saw. And the Mardi Gras. You went to Mardi Gras. I went to Mardi Gras.

And that was. That was. And all of these things were. The striking thing about them was. There's no way to know how to do them. Right. There's no way to know. Like there's no.

I went to film school, but they didn't teach you. Go out and shoot 20 hours of footage and make seven hours of comedy like you know in there were you helping edit them or was oh absolutely okay no absolutely it was then that was the that was the absolute brutality of those early days yes i would i'd go to the fucking arkansas state fair and come back with the with the the footage and go right to the room. I would make accommodations for myself in that, like I wouldn't stay till five in the morning. I'd leave at two,

because I have to be on the fucking television. But it still was like, it was a grind. I'm really curious. I watched one, I think you were at the Super Bowl, and you were doing live throughout the show. You were live at the still live at the Super Bowl. Yeah. But then you'd throw to tape pieces that were really well edited.

And I was like, how did how did you do that? Like you did. So you edited it probably at the facility at the Super Bowl during the morning or something. That I'm not exactly that. Those I did not edit. All right. Those I did not edit. And I think what they did

is that they went to the NBC affiliate probably beamed them to New York and then they cut them in and I think we were there the day before because you know there's all that press shit before and we didn't do we did that Mardi Gras we went

the previous weekend and shot a bunch of shit. And then I flew back, did the show on Monday, and then flew back to New Orleans Monday night to be there for Fat Tuesday. So I had been there all weekend, flew back to do a show on Monday, flew back to New Orleans for the live section on Tuesday. And that was the- How many hours do you think you shot for that one? I don't, I don't know. I mean, it would be like,

it would probably be like a minimum of 15. Wow. Do you remember if you were able to have fun at Mardi Gras like this really fun thing? Or was it just like, oh, I'm working. Oh, no, no, no. Well, because also like, I don't get that uptight. I mean, it's a blessing. And I don't like the word blessing because I'm not religious, but I don't... It's a blessing.

Yeah, but I mean, I don't get that uptight. I don't lock up. No. don't well i mean early on in improv i used to but i think that that was what improv right for me is doing especially when i was doing a lot of improv i was on stage for you know 12 hours a week without any idea what i was going to say right and um so no not really there were intimidating things like like the one that i will always remember and when i really felt like i have no fucking idea what to do here is you're going to go to this parade you're going to go to you know like this this bar you're going to go to this like you know booby contest or whatever the fuck goes on in new orleans right and then and then like and then you're going to go you're going to

go interview little richard in his hotel room and then you're going to go interview Little Richard in his hotel room. And then you're going to go, I went to fucking Little Richard's hotel room to interview Little Richard about Mardi Gras. With like bear, like somebody like shoved like one sheet of like kind of researchers. It's like Little Richard, you know, he sang Tutti Frutti. Okay, I know that. Check out that hair. Don't mention the lazy eye. But he was...

Is that true? Oh, no, I don't know. It was a room full of like 12 relatives, all male relatives, very deferential with him. He didn't come in. We came in and sat down in our extreme whiteness. Yeah. And then he came out and is one of the most strikingly bizarre individuals that you will see. Yes.

Yes. Because first of all, his face is gigantic. Yeah. He just has a huge. Just a head. And I mean, I have a big head. Right. He just has a huge, and I mean, I have a big head. He has a really big head that was made up in lots of like really strikingly odd, like colored makeup.

And the way everyone like reacts around him is it's like an exotic, unpredictable bird. Right. You know? Right. You know? Right. And I think if I remember correctly, he had on like a long kind of like house Cody purple thing. It was almost like a choir robe. Right. And then we sit down and I don't know what the fuck to,

you know, I don't even, I don't even have a clue as to what I did other than just, just stared at that huge face. And I was like, that's little fucking Richardard and you know two months ago i was on my mom's couch worrying about like like worrying about having to wait tables again right you know i have to watch and the other mart the other good mardi gras story is

louis ck came down to produce the live version and oh this is ironic this is oh yeah yeah this is actually now it's kind of chilling um chilling irony here it comes we kept because we would show well first of all we had and he was a local cameraman on on the on the balcony we're at the bourbon orleans on a balcony you had hired a local yeah guy to shoot a balcony. You had hired a local guy to shoot it. Yeah, we had a local guy. A local guy shooting. And he had a telephoto lens. And, you know, there's the showing the tits.

But, I mean, lots of dick showing, too. You know, nowadays it's become very egalitarian. Yeah, yeah. But so this guy, this cameraman, it would be like, we're going to lunch. I'm all right. Just shot titty all fucking day. All day long. And it was on the feed in Rockefeller Center.

And everybody told me that titty parade was on every television in the building. Oh, I bet. Somebody saw Tom Brokaw on a treadmill watching our titty fight saw him in the gym just watching the entire did not change the channel for his entire workout you know he's never he's trying to catch that screen he's not coming any closer yeah are we out of we're out of time we're out of time you know what they uh people really love your old woodstock remote oh oh i just want to mention that oh thank you you went in 94 i think i did i did yeah that was uh i went my contribution was like i said i wanted to a suit, but it was so fucking hot that the most I could pull off was a sport coat because it was really bad.

And then it was Robert's idea to try and get bites of people's food, which I think was, I haven't seen it in a while. Were women showing their breasts at Woodstock also? They were. Yes, they were. They were, absolutely. Not for beads. And then we did sort of like. Just for dime bags.

We did. Robert and I at the same time came up with like, I got to slide down that fucking mud hill. And I got, and I've said this before, I got poison ivy from that. Oh. From the slide down? Yeah, because I went. At the bottom? Yeah, because right after that, I went back to Illinois to visit my family.

And I had this rash all over my body, all over the side of my torso. It was really super itchy. And I went to my mom's dermatologist. And he was like, oh, no, that's poison ivy. And that's the only place I could have gotten. Have you been rolling down any hills? Yeah. The other thing that I wish we had gotten on camera was because Jimmy Vivino

was there playing with John Sebastian of the Love and Spoonful. Jimmy Vivino was our band leader. Our guitarist. And he was back and I was and so because then after I went in the mud, then we had the idea I should go interview the bands covered in mud.

Right. Which which is you know so i interviewed melissa atheridge and crosby silson nash yeah but after after we're done that was that was our last thing because i'm covered in mud and i'm wrapped and uh i wish i had it on tape but jimmy found a garden hose and hosed me off like in the like in the in the cluster of where all like you know, we're like right outside where Cypress Hills trailer was, like right in front of Cypress Hills trailer. Oh, that's great.

Just me standing there being hosed off like a baby elephant. Yeah. You know. Wow. Well, Andy, thank you so much. You're welcome. Yeah, thanks.

We'll definitely have you back. Yeah. I'm going to guess sometime in June. This is the episode that'll probably win you the potty. We're always gunning for the potty. We've been nominated so many times. Yes. But yeah, thanks, Andy.

Please come back. We'll come visit you over in your corner. I'll be even more docile next time. Thank you, Andy. Thanks. That was great. I'm sorry. I'll be even more docile next time. Thank you, Andy. I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All right, let's jump into some listener questions.

Hi, this is Josh from Birmingham, Alabama, and I think I have a solution for the diet soda situation. If there's Coke Zero and the Vons brand, why not just give half to one floor and half to the other? You know, just kind of mix it up so everybody has a choice between both. Hope that helps somebody. Thanks, bye. Wow, Josh. Josh, thanks for calling.

It sounded like you were calling from the 1950s. I don't know what phone equipment you were using. A spaceship. He's on the other side of the moon. So, yeah, I mean, I guess my answer to that is, why doesn't the government just give half of rich people's money to poor people and then there won't be poor people anymore? I mean, that seems like that would solve all of the country's poverty issues. Yeah, Josh.

And by the way, is there really a Josh in Birmingham, Alabama? I don't think so. This question. Yeah, I mean, Alabama. I don't think so. This question. Yeah, I mean, yeah. He's right, though. He's right. That would make sense. But that's not how it's going to happen.

It doesn't work that way. The second floor will not tolerate the redistribution of their Coke zeros. Yeah. Josh, you've got to take your blinders off. The world is not. I wish the world worked that way. You're seeing the world through Josh colored glasses. But we're stuck with Vons on three.

But yeah, if anyone else has suggestions for how to solve this crisis. We'll treat them equally as lovingly. Do we have time for one more question? Great. Hi, Jesse and Mike. I wanted to know, after hearing the podcast, I heard about how many rewrites are needed for some of these sketches that are put on the show

and how many exhaustive rehearsals go through. Are the executions of these sketches sometimes disappointing for maybe the writer? And, you know, oftentimes I see Conan will break during the sketch and criticize the sketch throughout it. Is that really, that's not planned?

And is that disruptive for the writer? Or is that, you know that disappointing in the overall execution after so many days of rewriting and rehearsing? Thanks. That's a good question. Yeah. I would say off the top, not all sketches go through exhaustive rewrites. They don't. No.

A lot of them. Like Andre Dubuchet last night wrote a sketch called Sports Blast with Andy Richter. Right. And that one I think went pretty much exactly as it was rehearsed. I don't believe a word was changed. To the show. Which is quite often the case. We thought, just on this show, I mean, that's boring.

Right, right. We don't like success. Exactly. No, we've looked at ones that kind of have more of an evolution because it kind of, we think it reveals the process. There's just more to talk about. Yes. Right. But yeah, what he mentioned when Conan picks apart parts of the sketch or when it falls apart. Right.

I mean, I think sometimes it's definitely not planned, first of all. But sometimes that can almost be a godsend. A blessing. If things start to derail and then it actually becomes funnier that things didn't work out. As opposed to having to just sit in the sincerity of the script that you wrote. People, when you're watching, when you really know right away that something wasn't planned, you're watching something go off the rails,

it's very compelling. Yeah. As in real life. But I also, I mean, and there's so many variables with how a sketch plays out on the show. And sometimes, maybe an actor flubs a line or even Conan or Andy flub a line.

Oh, God. I know. It happens. Or just a prop isn't timed right or a sound effect doesn't come in at the right time. I mean, that stuff happens constantly. Or the dog that was supposed to bark just wanders up into the audience. Yeah. Dogs almost never do what they're supposed to do.

And never use cats. Oh yeah. No, cats are completely untrainable. Avoid cats at all times. But we digress. But I mean, sometimes that can,

then if Conan comments on that, it actually becomes funnier. And it's great. Then everyone, I think everyone's usually okay. I'm always, I mean, I don't care about anything except for the laughs. So I'll take credit even if the laughs came from something that I did not write.

That bad prop was my idea. Yeah. Yeah. That was handed in late. That was also my idea. But anyway, yeah. If, uh, if anyone else has a question or comment for us, please. Yes, we love them.

Yeah. Please send them in. Even trolls. I mean, why? Everyone's been so positive. Yeah. Please send them in. Even trolls. I mean, everyone's been so positive. Yeah. Ready. I want to deal with some trolls. Rip us apart. Maybe Andy will call in. You can

email us at insideconan at gmail.com. And also, you've got to go to teamcoco.com and check out the 25 years of remotes, over 350 remotes. Yeah. Going back to September of 1993. It's a lot.

There's a lot on there. And I don't want to hear any more complaints from people who are like, when can we watch the old stuff? Right. Until you go on there and you watch all 350 remotes. I think that's fair. You do not get to complain. It's homework. Oh, look, here's the phone number.

The phone number you can call to talk to us. Well, not us, but a voicemail. It's 323-209-5303. Great. Standard rates apply. So to check out all those great remotes, go to teamcoco.com slash conan25. That's where all the remotes are.

They're waiting for you. Just hours and hours for you to spend not doing other things. I think that's the end of our show. That is our show. We had to bump. We had Jordan Schlansky in the waiting room. We had him literally waiting in the waiting room.

We were going to talk to him and Andy just Andy talked for too long. Andy was great. Well, no. Just long enough. So we'll try to get to Jordan. I took great pleasure in bumping Jordan. That was fun. I'm just worried he's so busy. I don't know if we'll be able to get him...

That's true. ...back on the air. But we'll try. He might be sending an email. We'll try our best. Anyway, we'll see you next week. See you next week. Thank you.

We like you. Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jesse Gaskell. Produced by Kevin Bartelt. Engineered by Will Becton. Mixed by Ryan Connor. Supervising producer is Aaron Blair. Associate producer, Jen Samples. executive produced by Adam Sacks and Jeff Ross, Jeff Ross, and team Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at ear Wolf. Thanks to Jimmy Vivino for our theme music and interstitials. You can rate and review the show on Apple podcasts.

And of course, please subscribe and tell a friend to listen to inside Conan on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or whatever platform you like best. Ta-da! This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.