Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Behind the Seams (and Sketches)

Episode Date: June 14, 2019

Conan’s head costume designer Scott Cronick joins Conan writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to talk about the challenges of dressing Conan, loving the adrenaline rush of the immediate turnaround for costumes for sketches, and making an incredible discovery when he recently took over as Conan’s head dresser. Plus, Conan’s only Canadian writer Levi MacDougall joins Mike and Jessie to talk about having to reshoot a sketch because his Canadian accent was too strong, why dogs never get cut from sketches, and coming up with lyrics for NPR’s new Morning Edition theme music.This episode is brought to you by Cannondale Bikes (www.cannondale.com/conan), Candid (www.candidco.com/insideconan code: insideconan), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/insideconan), and Roman (www.getroman.com/insideconan).Check out Conan Without Borders: Australia: https://teamcoco.com/australiaCheck out Conan25: The Remotes: https://conan25.teamcoco.com/Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail] Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com

And now, it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hi, welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. I'm Jesse Gaskell. I'm Mike Sweeney. We're writers here on The Conan Show. Yeah, we're taking you behind the scenes. Yes, this week we're really going behind the scenes of what's going on right now on the show.

Behind the seams. Exactly. Oh my god. Wow, what a segue into our guest. Yeah, we have Scott Cronick, who's the head costume designer here. Yes. He also dresses the host, Conan O'Brien. And we found out he started out as an intern on Conan in 1998. So he's got a long career with the show. And he made a really

incredible discovery when he took over recently as the head dresser for Conan. Yes. Which we'll share with you on the show. Yeah. And we're also going to talk to one of the writers on the show that are only Canadian writer. Yes, Levi McDougal. I feel like I always have to preface. I know. Why do we target him like that? I should just say he's a writer. He doesn't have to be a Canadian writer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't mention what state you're from. Yeah, we don't talk about how I'm a female all the time. No, that never comes up. It never comes up. Except when you read bra ads. But yeah, so we have all that coming up. Yeah, let's get right into it. Let's get right into it. Let's not talk between ourselves. That's a waste of time. I know. You don't want to hear us.

No. Here he is. You want to hear us with a third person. Exactly. Here he is. Scott Cronick. All right, we're here with Scott Cronick. Hello, Scott. Hello, hello. Scott, tell us your official title here. I'm the costume designer here at Conan. And how long have you been with the show? Oh, my gosh. I was an intern in the costume department in 1998.

Really? Yes. And then I left for a bunch of years and did a million other things. And then once I was unionized in New York, they would hire me as a day player. And then slowly I took it over. Oh, wow. I love the way you said it. And slowly I took it over.

Yeah. No, I know now. You're running the place. What a plan. Because you're not just a costume designer. You also dress. Now I style Conan. Yeah. the place. What a plan. Because you're not just a costume designer, you also dress. Now I style Conan, yeah, as well. Those, yes.

Uh-huh. Yeah, that wasn't always the case. Bruce did it, Bruce Bromwich did it for decades. Yes. Very well. And then he retired right at the time we switched over to the new format. So it kind of made sense to change stylists. When we switch over to a half hour show.

Yeah. And he's changed his look a lot. Totally. Can you tell us about that? Conan, not Bruce. Maybe Bruce, too. We don't know. We don't know.

I'm sure there's cast in Bruce's world right now. Not only left LA, he moved back to West Virginia. West Virginia, yeah. Yeah, where he shovels snow and all of that. I can't remember. I don't see him there. I know. Well, that's where his family is.

Yeah. It's probably beautiful. He bought up all the leopard print rugs there were. He's very happy. We miss him a lot, Bruce, actually. Bruce is great. But yes, Conan, his style has changed dramatically. He used to wear suits.

Now he doesn't wear suits. He wears mostly denim jackets. Started leather. Slowly he started hating leather. Oh, no. Does he really hate? Yeah. You know, it's a whim.

In his personal life, he also wears a lot of leather jackets. You know, I've dressed a lot of hosts. I did a lot of daytime hosts. I did a lot of crazy hosts over the years. And I always try to think of how they feel, because what I'm putting on them, they're the ones on TV. They're the ones who feel the self-conscious thoughts. They're the ones who have to feel confident and have to be built up by what they're putting on. Right.

So I never take anything personally. And talent changes their minds all the time. Something they love in a fitting they'll hate when it comes time to wear it on camera. Ever mid-show? Mid-show, no, but moments before the show. Right. On this one in particular, because I vary things so much, and Conan doesn't like to really look at the wardrobe until he puts it on. Right. So there's a lot of very last minute.

Right. We need a different jacket. And you said you've dressed crazy hosts over the years? You've dressed other hosts over the years. Yeah, I did a lot. When I was in New York, I did anything that paid money. Okay. Well, unlike the rest of us. Right. And so, I mean, the craziest job I ever had was I did three judge shows at once.

Oh. Is there more than the robe? I mean. No, I actually was not even the host wardrobe stylist. I was the guest wardrobe stylist, which meant I dressed all the litigants. Oh, my God. Like on a people's court type show? It was Judge Hatchet, Judge Lane. There were three of them that we did in kind of repertory. And basically, you know what it did is it taught me two skills. One is they were always kind of gruff people who didn't necessarily want to be there.

They were there literally to get this case settled one way or another. Let alone be styled. Right. So they come in in their sweatpants or whatever. And meanwhile, I have a list from the sponsors of what people can wear if people can have missing teeth. If people can have tattoos. Did you have to put on teeth? We had a dentist in New Jersey that we would send people to if I looked at them and I was like, oh, no.

And they would take them in a cab and they would come back like an hour later. What? And they wouldn't sound right. And I'm sure they were painful, but they had teeth in their mouth. So if we watch some of those shows, you can tell the people just had choppers thrown in? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. But the skills that I learned were worth it.

It's kind of a makeover show. Yeah. In a way, it was. I also had a rack of clothes that was maybe two and a half feet across that was my entire stock. So if you watch those shows, I'm sure you see the same sweater every day and whatever. But it was all about just making the sponsors happy.

I just thought all the litigants lived together in the same apartment. Exactly. No, but I learned how to look at a body and then pull a piece of clothes and know it would fit without numbers, without sizes, without measurements. Because I would have to do so many in a day, and they weren't always people I wanted to talk to. Yeah. Right? So it was a lot easier for me to go in the room, just look at people, not say anything,

and then come back and be like, I have something that is going to look so great on you right here. It's really going to go with your new teeth. Exactly. Leave it in the room and then go and then see. But also on those judge shows it was weird, because you couldn't let the people ever see each other on the opposite sides of the cases.

And you'd have to bring them to hair and makeup, bring them here. And you had to coordinate doors being closed. Because you want to save that drama for the screen. Exactly. Exactly. Did you ever have to come between? Like, did they ever inadvertently run into each other in the hallway? Not on my watch. I like hallway? Not on my watch.

Oh, I like that. Not on my watch. I try to keep the drama to a minimum. It's never possible, but I keep it to a minimum. Like here, you have to keep Conan and Andy apart. Two litigants. They lay eyes on each other. They are in multiple lawsuits together.

Well, and so bringing, so you said you could look at someone and tell what's good tell what's going to look good on them. So when you look at Conan's body type, what are some... Well, I don't necessarily say that I can look at someone and say I know exactly what's going to look good on them. You have to kind of look at colors on them and all that kind of stuff and fit. What I mean is I can look and tell you if somebody's going to fit them. Like literally if it's going to fit their body. And I can look at a garment on a hanger

and look at you and tell you if the shirt's going to go on your body. There's only so much you can do. Well, but I guess my question is what are maybe some of the challenges of dressing Conan specifically? Okay, the challenges of dressing Conan are really measurement based.

He is, has very... He's 80% leg. Yes. His inseam is so long that most like jeans manufacturers don't make them. So you have to find certain Oh my god, I didn't realize that.

I thought it was like a 36, which isn't that. A 36 inseam is a... You go try looking for a 36 inseam. Ah, okay. A challenge accepted. I'll see you guys later. That's a very large inseam is a, you go try looking for a 36 inseam. Ah, okay. A challenge accepted. I'll see you guys later. That's a very large inseam, a 36. And so, yeah, you'll find some. Right.

Yeah, like dockers, you know. Also his waist is like 20. Search over. And his waist is really small. Right. And then his torso, for being so tall, his torso, it looks small because his legs are so long. Right. But it's a normal man's torso.

Oh. Which is actually, no, I just mean it's. You really know how to butter him up. No, it's beneficial, though. Oh, no, Conan, it looks normal. Like, for example, when he first wanted to go denim jackets, I was a little bit nervous thinking they were all going to look super short on him. Right. Oh, yeah.

But once I kind of got into the fitting room and I saw, oh, no, I can use, like, it's, it's, his arms are not. You can just use off the rack jackets. Correct. The top half of his body, or the top third, I guess, is, is, you know, a normal men's physique. And then the comedy comes in below the waistline. Yeah.

And thank God you don't have to put anything over the head, because that would be, he's got a big head. He does. You know, you say I don't have to. You know how many things I've had to put on his head over the years? I know. So many. He and Andy have the two biggest dimension- Giant.

Heads of anyone I've ever worked with. And I've had to put hundreds, if not thousands, of hats or whatever on them. And, you know, you learn how to stretch things. You learn how to put a panel in. You learn. You figure it out. But, yeah. And also, most of the male writers on the show who put themselves into everything have enormous heads.

Have big heads. What's wrong with all of us? Wow. Maybe it's what's right. You also told me, because remember how you had to measure my head a few times because you didn't believe it? You had a pretty big head. Yeah.

Yeah, for a lady of a large head. Maybe you just need a bigger tape measure. The tape measure is fine. It's the hats that people make in the world. Jesse's head, your head looks very normal to me. I think everyone's heads look normal. Yeah. But Scott's head is big.

Yeah, so do you think my head is big or small? That's a really good question. I don't know. It sort of looks big to me. Average. I have an average size head. You have an average size head. It looks big to me, too.

I have no hair, so that helps. Right. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. I've shaved my head now over 15 years. Okay. Yeah, we noticed. Sure. Yeah, I've known my head now over 15 years. Okay. Yeah. We noticed. Sure.

Yeah. I've known you since 98. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like, where'd he go? He must be off dressing other hosts for a while.

And then you came back with and hatched your plan to take over. Well, and so before you were, I mean, now you, you do it all, but before you were specifically dressing Conan, you did all of the costumes for the show. And I think over the years, we've probably asked you to do a lot of really insane things.

Yes. And on a short notice, that's the worst part of it, right? Is that it'll be that day. Sometimes a trade-off, is that the worst part or is that the best part? Because at least it'll be over. You know, the thing that I like about costume design is the adrenaline factor. I worked a lot in theater and I worked a lot in opera. And in that, you're working on one piece for six months, sometimes a year, sometimes a year and a half between when you design to when the actual production goes up.

And here, you know, it's as far the... Six hours. But I have a distinct memory of, we used to do a piece about the Oscars and we'd do little snippets of the movies. Right. Reenact the nominated movies. Right.

And we did one one year where the guy's arm was stuck in the boulder, and he nodded off. Right. 128 hours? Yes, something like that. And then you asked me to make a lizard costume for Pierre. And it was the night before when I got the email. And that's when I strike. Yeah, that's true.

That's the big difference between you and Matt, actually, is that you would occupy my evenings. Yes. Which was good and bad, because it was good in the sense that I got to plan. It was bad in the sense that my husband. You spent the whole night worrying. Yes. And it was me, another strike.

So Matt waits until the morning to tell you that it's that day. Which then I have literally minutes to do something, which again. Sounds like you like Sweeney's way better. This is actually a really sweet Sweeney story, is that we made this, actually, I made this lizard costume because we were making the boulder and we were making other things. Actually, the boulder came out terrible. So someone was playing the boulder? Yeah, Andy was the boulder. Okay. It was based on his head. But it ended up looking like a

giant potato chip. But again, it was a Moria costume in the morning. But the lizard costume was sitting in the back of the house behind you, Sweeney. And when he came out, you turned to whoever was sitting next to you and said, they made that today? And that has stuck with me. And this was years ago. Because, yeah, we do. We pull off small miracles. And it's because I have a team that I have been blessed with.

Linda, who is my craftsperson, I'm so lucky because she comes from the world of huge, giant films. You know, where she, any film from, like, my youth that I can mention, she worked on in one way or another. All the Batman movies. Wow. All Hook. You know, all these things. Oh, I one way or another. All the Batman movies. Wow. All Hook. You know, all these things where she crafted Indiana Jones. So many times

we're spoofing something and she's like, oh, I made the original. I made the original. Oh my God. That's crazy. Oh, she has like one of the original. So our Chewbacca is the Chewbacca. Does she have good stories about all those movies? Oh, great stories. Great stories.

So, yeah. So, no, I'm blessed to work with really talented people that are all on board and all enjoy the thrill and hate not being busy. Yeah. You know, that is actually the worst part of the job is it goes in waves. Of course, naturally, everything does. But there'll be weeks when I have so many requests and we're just running around like crazy and pulling off everything. And then there'll be a week where it's all VT and it's all animation and there's very little for me. Or we just have all lawyers and sketches and that's like just suits. Well, I know you've heard this.

Oh, sorry. Go ahead. I love putting writers in suits. It's my favorite task. Just tell them to wear a suit in the morning. Come into work in a suit. Can you imagine if I said come to work in a suit, the suits these people would come in with? You don't know.

Imagine. A lot of double-breasted brown suits. Exactly. Well, your department is famous here. There's so many different departments that contribute to the final version of a sketch that appears on the show. And wardrobe, everyone agrees, you guys and you guys just elevate everything and make it better. And the writers are always like, oh, wow, I didn't think of that.

And now that's going to be funnier. And in a comedic way. Yes, in a comedic way. Yeah. Sometimes it's like you don't exactly want the most literal version of what you've written, but you want the creative, funny version. Right. And you always provide that.

Yes. And not too cartoonish. Yeah, yeah. But you guys always just nail it just right. Oh, thank you. I always try to help the joke. That's my mantra. Yeah.

I'm always like, where is the joke? Sometimes you really have to search for it. But I always say, where's the joke and how do we help it and how do we not distract from it? Those are the things I try to look at that I caught on to here. There was a lot of, I learned about late night TV. Well, I kind of learned it watching others do it about

what to ignore and what to focus on. And I think that the joke is just the only thing to focus on. We would really put you guys into overdrive when we would do mascots who shouldn't dunk, which is, uh-oh. You know what? I have to tell you, I'm torn about mascots that shouldn't dunk because I love that the end result, the day of the dunking is thrilling for me because it's a huge undertaking and it's just so mammoth and I feel pride when it's happening. But the engineering of them to make it happen and –

And someone has to be able to wear it and run with it. They have to jump and try to dunk a basketball. And very often it's something like it's an aquarium with real fish floating in it. Or a chest of drawers filled with underwear. The worst one for me was the giant ice cube tray that's supposed to look like frozen ice and then broke into water as he jumped. Oh, my God. I remember that one. That is kind of like a

F you. Like, yeah, let's see. Go ahead and make it. Yeah. See, a lot of it sometimes felt like that. But again, what I like about this job is the challenge. It's the challenge. If I weren't being challenged all the time, I definitely wouldn't still be here. Yes. You rarely ever say, oh no, that can't be done. The only time I say no, which is very, very seldom, is if I go to my staff and I just see... Tears. Yeah. And then I'm like, oh, I can't. Because I will take on anything, and I,

unlike other designers, will actually do it myself. Like I'm in there working and painting and gluing and sewing and whatever the heck needs to happen to get the costumes on stage, which is another way I kind of rally the staff. Like, you know, I'm here with you. I'm not going to. Right. You're going down with the ship. Exactly. I'm crying, too.

Exactly. We've had many tears, blood, sweat, and tears up in that costume shop. But when I go up there, because it's upstairs, and we have a level above it even that's costume storage, and you can look out to the roof of the green rooms and see the vast stock we have now. And we started with zero, because NBC took everything when we left. They took it all except I, yes. Okay. They took it all. That was like a divorce where it's like, pack a bag and be out of here in 20 minutes.

It's like, wait, Oliver. Yeah. They sent a list of exactly what they wanted for archives. Really? And a little bit, it was flattering because I'm like, oh, these are things that I made. It's going to go in the Smithsonian. Right. Right.

Yeah. No, they, they, anyway, so we started this with nothing and now. Their special dumpster. I can't even, I couldn't, it'd be impossible to count how many costumes we've made. Yeah. Even how many mascots we made. We did that many years, a lot of times. And there were always six, seven, eight of them. Like four times a year.

Yeah. For like at least six years. Yeah, absolutely. Do you remember why that piece started? We needed something on the show that night. No. We had made that Meshuggah Taco Bell for the tour. And then we cut that after like the first show or something. Wait, can you explain what that is? Okay. So on the tour we did in between.

Oh, Meshuggah? No. I know. No, on the tour we did, the first tour, not this last tour, we had. 2009. Yeah. You had ordered a Taco Bell and a Lady Foot Locker and then a miscellaneous building that we were going to make into a local building in every city. There were actors who wore them and they were these big buildings. And they just didn't work.

On the big stage, I think they looked kind of haunting instead of funny. I think we all were like... It was just sweaty. Yeah, it didn't work. It wasn't good. I did end up having to cart them along the entire tour. Well, sure. Anyway, so then we came back and we had these.

Again, we started with nothing. There were these buildings. And I remember, I think it was McCann, who was like, we should just destroy these on camera. And then it became, how do we destroy these? Oh, they should dunk a basket. And then when they fall, it'll break apart. And so that's how that whole piece began. That's a great origin story. That's interesting. I thought we started that bit back in New York.

It was an exact duplicate of a character parade, new character parade. No, no. I thought we did that back in New York. We'll have to look that up. Interesting. Yeah. Well, that's how it started here. Okay. I don't remember ever's how it started here. Okay.

I don't remember ever doing it in New York. And I wasn't around all the time, but I was there a lot. Well, I trust your memory over mine. And I also made, that was what I would do in New York, is I would make the mascot-y things. Right. They would call me in, and I would make all of Triumph's clothes, and I would make all, like, do you remember we did this thing? Was it a grub costume? And then I had to make it into a croissant.

And then we had to make it into Miss Piggy. Yes, it would morph into different. Oh, my God. That's great. It's because I made a terrible grub costume that didn't look like a grub. Right. What's a grub, anyway? And then it became a thing where you were like, tomorrow it's going to be a croissant.

Like a real grub does. It evolved into a different. It metamorphized. I remember that. Yeah. So, no, I learned there and at SNL how to make mascot costumes. And you made Triumph clothes? Yes.

I've made Triumph's clothes pretty exclusively for a long time. Even on that show that he did with Jack McBrayer, I did all of his clothes. Oh, I didn't know that. So you know Triumph's measurements in this company. I do. Without having to go into the room. I used to

make his little clothes in my tiny little apartment in New York. I have a lot of fun memories. That's adorable. Did you ever go into the makeup lab? There was a big makeup lab in 30 Rock. And when Triumph was when Triumph was his most popular, I went in there one night and it was like a scene out of Aliens. They were making their own Triumph puppets because they had trouble finding them in stores.

And so they took the original, took a mold of it, and they were making, they were using the mold. There were like six of them in different iterations of being painted at the same time. It was terrifying. I loved that space. That was amazing. Yeah. It was fun. That was great.

No, I was just going to say, do you want to talk about the thing you've made? Oh, yes. Yeah. It was fun. That was great. What? No, I was just going to say, do you want to talk about the thing you've been to? Oh, yes. Yeah. So we stopped into, I was in your, well, you have so many different offices. Right. This is the wardrobe room. We call it the wardrobe room. Okay, the main wardrobe room.

Yeah. And it just looked immaculate. Like, all these clothes that were always there disappeared. Empty room. And you mentioned something to me that I didn't know about, Conan's ties. Yes. So, when Bruce retired, he kind of left and then there was a hiatus of sorts. And when we came back, we had to clean the space out and rearrange because now I have to be kind of everywhere at once. So, I had to set up like a satellite little shop there so I could be working.

And so I was like, I've got to get all these racks out. And I started looking through what the racks were, and I was like, wait, these are all ties. Well, there's more ties. And then there's these cabinets built on the walls, and I open the doors, and they're all ties. What? And then there's an area on the roof that was, you know, Conan stuff from Bruce. And I went up there, and it was all ties. What? And then there's an area on the roof that was, you know, Conan stuff from Bruce. And I went up there and it was all ties. And so we assembled them all onto one rack.

And it's over like 1,300, 1,400 ties. And each one of them is labeled with the date and the show that he wore it. And so I realized then he, Conan, for a decade or longer, never repeated a tie. What? Never repeated a tie. Really? And every tie was cataloged with a piece of tape on the back. Like a Dewey Decimal system.

Yeah, basically. That has the date and the show number. Wow. And it's so, you know, in wardrobe you do continuity, right? So if we ever had to go back and shoot anything or if we were doing it, there was some cobbler or something. You're shooting parts of a show out of phase. Right, which is so rare here. It's so very rare here.

Yeah. But it does happen. Sure. But you're trained as a wardrobe person to keep continuity that way. So it might have just been easier to get a hidden tie. But it also seems like taxes, like after seven years you can start getting rid of all your files. Or was he getting kickbacks from the tie industry? Well, you know, here's the thing. One of the things that I like the least about being a costume designer is the shopping element.

I like it somewhat, but I don't love it. I'm not one of those people that just wants to be shopping all the time. That seems like that would be a problem. Well, no. I mean, it's not that I hate it. I'll make it. I just don't. It's not.

It doesn't give me life. You know, there's other things. Maybe because it's your job sometimes. But I think Bruce and most, I would say 99.9% of stylists love shopping. Right. Especially with someone else's money. They want to be out there. Oh, yeah.

They want to be shopping all the time. So I think, you know, I could have looked at that and been like, oh, great. I get to buy a new tie every day. Wow. But I looked at that and I was like, oh, wait. I hope you didn't do one a day. You went to the store every day. No, no, no.

I think I need a tie. Well, no. You went to Costco and you paid 20 at a time. Yeah, exactly. 12 dozen. No, so now we have all these ties he had 20 at a time. Yeah, exactly. 12 dozen. No, so now we have all these ties, so we ought to do something with these ties. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, can we? We need to Marie Kondo these ties. Seriously. But, you know, they're cataloged. There could be a picture from the show with them. Are these expensive? They must be. They are?

I'd say the, well, do you want to know the cost? Yes, I really want to know. The average is probably $250. $100? Uh-huh. Oh, my God. So we have, I can't do this math fast enough. I did it once.

It really. $325,000 worth of ties. That's like a, that's a house. In a storage unit in Burbank. Not in LA, but, oh my God. Yeah. Can't we all go to jail for that? That sounds so legal.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. And the thing about it is when we switched over to the half hour format and Conan changed his looks, he decided he wanted a much thinner tie. So he

will not wear one of those. Not one of those. And that's not also counting the Andy set. Which he repeated for Andy. Andy didn't have a new one every day. So there may be

But they were $600 ties. Yeah, right. Well, I was initially going to suggest that we sell these for charity, but now I think we need to sell these just for us. Don't think I didn't think about that already. Oh my God. I don't know how they hold up their value. I don't know how many of them are in style. Right. Are they devalued because

Conan has worn them? That's right. Who knows? This is incredible. I would love to get rid of them. I need the space. So let's think of something. Okay.

We could sell them for charity. Yes. I think that that would be the... And we could sell... Each one comes with a photo of Conan wearing the tie once. Once. Exactly. Is there a tie-related charity we could donate to?

I don't know. There must be. Well, there's those charities that give low-income people suits to wear for job interviews. For interviews, yeah. Things like that. Seems kind of on theme. Dress for success. Yeah.

Or some lower-budget talk shows. Are there lower-budget talk shows? I guess we just keep them. Our Thai budget, I think, was pretty high. Well, we have all that money to go with now. Wow. Wow. Yeah, so no, it's very different now.

Although, you know, some of the jackets Conan wears now, the suede jackets, are not cheap. And do those just go into a storage unit? I repeat everything. Okay. No, I repeat everything. And he also sometimes likes to have those for himself, too. I think he. You know, that's the most flattering thing I can hear is when he says, buy me a duplicate of this one.

Oh, so he doesn't just take that one. No. He gets a second one. He gets a second one that he pays for himself. Yeah, yeah. It goes on his card at that point. What about socks? Did he at least repeat socks?

You laugh about socks, but he at least repeat socks? Socks were a huge drama. Really? He, through the whole period before me, he wore gold toe socks. Yeah. Apparently never liked it, but wore them. But was quiet about it for 25 years.

But not to me. And so then finding the right sock was an interesting experiment. And we hit it. We got it. We love them. Good for you. You got the socks. No, but it's, you know, it's like I can't imagine the minutia of being a writer.

But the minutia of being a costumer, you deal with things like socks. You deal with things like T-shirts and underwear and all of that on a very personal basis with everyone you work with. It's very stressful and it can be like, feels like it's the biggest thing in the world at the moment. Exactly. And Andy's been losing a lot of weight on the show, so I've been having to keep up with him. Yeah, what a dick. No, it's great. He looks

awesome. I'm super happy, and actually it's easier for me to shop for him now. I'm curious to see if his head's shrinking. Well, his neck has shrunk a lot. His head won't. People's heads don't. Just trying to make your job easier. You're griping about hats.

I'm not griping. No, I know. No, no. I don't need to gripe. You haven't griped at all. You haven't griped once. You know, I've seen so many costumers be just kind of unpleasant all the time. Everywhere that I've worked.

And I try to not do that, but some days it's harder than others because there's a lot of plates in the air and there's a hard deadline every day. And people are complaining about their socks. And people are complaining about the socks. Gold toe. Where, where the fuck?

Where the fuck? It's only an hour. Half hour. Yeah. Now it's a half hour. No, but yeah, going? It's only an hour. Half hour. Yeah, now it's a half hour. No, but yeah, yeah. It's hard to keep a smile on sometimes. I mean, you can imagine.

You know what you've asked me over the years. Oh, I've committed terrible crimes against you and your staff. Usually. You violated. I know when I've gone too far. International treaties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think it's pretty clear with me when you've gone too far. International treaties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think it's pretty clear with me when you've gone too far.

I don't hesitate to speak up when I need to, but when I don't need to, I don't. No, you're incredibly even keeled for, seriously, an incredibly trying job. Kudos to you. Yeah. Well, and we have to figure out something to do with all these steps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the next step. Maybe people can suggest, make suggestions. Yeah.

What to do with $350,000 worth of ties. No, no two alike. Only worn once. They're basically brand new. They're basically. Do we have the receipts? Let's try to. Oh my God.

They're somewhere. Are they all from like Barney's? Nordstrom takes things back for a long time. Oh yeah. I would say 90% from Barney's, Bendel. They're somewhere. Are they all from like Barney's? Nordstrom takes things back for a long time. Oh, yeah. I would say 90% from Barney's, New York stores, because Bruce would like to go to New York and shop and send things here. Oh, wow. So it was also an expense trip to New York.

No, no, no. He would be there anyway. Just have him be there. You know, those are the people he knew. That's where he did it for many years before he moved out here. So there was a comfort level, and they would ship things out. I think it would be fun to show up with 300 ties and try to return them. Yeah.

From 1994. And there are some that were never worn that have tags on them. Oh, I'm sure. Yes. Yeah. So, and I, you know, they keep, I'm sure they keep every receipt accounting in some way or another. Well, my big takeaway from this is I'm going to be obsessed with it every time. I never

noticed Conan's or Andy's well, Andy doesn't wear a tie now. I'm going to notice a tie every night. Yeah. Check it out. Or don't. I hate that you never noticed something that we spent that much money on. Yeah, you never noticed his ties? Well, I don't know.

I'm just like, oh, the guy's in a suit. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's easy to dismiss that. Like, I look at him, oh, he's talking. Right. I do. I have been wondering what kind of socks he's been wearing all these years.

I've had to shop for you, too. Sure. Yeah? Yeah. On the tour. I remember in Minneapolis, I had to find something for you. Oh. Oh, what did you have to find in Sweden?

In 2009. Pants. Oh, did he split his pants? I bought you these pants. I bought, it was for some event or something. I don't remember what you guys were doing. And you needed a fancy outfit. So I went all over and I found you these pants.

And then you loved them. You wore them. And then you came to me once we were back here and said, you took them to the dry cleaner and they lost them. What? You don't remember that? No, you don't remember that. No, I don't remember anything. You either told me that they lost them or they really lost them. Okay. I've never heard of it. The old, the dry cleaner lost them scam. You'll never see them on me again.

Well, thank you very much for helping me out with those pants. And obviously, I've shopped for you many times. Who needs pants in Minneapolis? You have, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you've played a million things. Well, you guys always put me in something professional that I would, I always end up wearing something. I'm like, oh, I could clean up if I wanted to. No, you wear really interesting, awesome clothes. I love it. I'm always excited to see what you wear. In real life. In real life. Oh, I could clean up if I wanted to. No, you wear really interesting, awesome clothes.

I love it. I'm always excited to see what you wear. In real life. In real life, yeah. Oh, really? Oh, that's nice. Oh, no, I'm always excited to see. Oh, my gosh, that's so nice.

Yeah. Thank you. You're allowed to say that. Oh, yeah, well. You can comment on it. You can say awesome clothes. I'm pretty sure you can compliment her if you wanted to. Don't say your tits look great in that top.

Exactly. You can say that's a cool to. Don't say your tits look great in that top. You can say that's a cool shirt. Well, one inevitably leads to the other. That's the problem. It's a slippery slope. No, I agree. I couldn't say that about men, probably. No, seriously, I just stopped saying.

You just played it safe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might as well just be a man. Exactly. It's easier. Yeah. Well, well Scott it was great to have you and it was so good to hear about a different side of the show that I think a lot of people want to know about

it was very cool I listened to you guys so this was very cool for me well thank you for doing this and keep up the great work yeah and we'll have you back on again for a follow up on the tie tie gate thanks Scott Yeah. And we'll have you back on again for a follow-up on the tie. Tie gate. Awesome. Thanks, guys.

Thanks, bye. Put on the cans. Put them on. Buckle up. What is going to happen? We're as scared as you are. It's a lot like Howard Stern. It really is. I don't know who that is. what is going to happen? It's a lot like Howard Stern. It really is.

I don't know who that is. We're going to make you have an orgasm live on radio. I have seen that movie. The Canadian analogy to Howard Stern is Tim Horton, I think. Yes. Is Tim Horton a radio person? No. He's a satellite radio person. He was a hockey player who opened a chain of donut person? No, he's a satellite radio person. Oh, just...

He was a hockey player who opened a chain of donut shops. Well, I knew about the donut shops. Yeah. Oh, he was a hockey player. I didn't know what he was before. I think from Hamilton, which is why Hamilton is the most Tim Hortons per capita of anywhere in Canada. Oh, cool. When do we start recording?

Oh, no, no, no. This is, we're actually done. Well, in case you couldn't tell, this is our Canadian writer, Levi McDougall. Hello, Levi. Hi, guys. Hi, Levi. Hey, everybody. Thanks for coming.

Thanks so much. Thank you. All the way from Canada. All the way from Canada. Yeah, you commute every day. We make you work. Yeah, legally I have to with my visa. Yeah, exactly.

Grueling, but you seem to like it. Worth it. I get a joke on the show every now and then. That's all that matters. We have been leaning into your Canadian-ness a lot lately. We have, yeah. I've been wondering if there's going to be backlash to me leaning into a stereotype so hard.

I haven't gone back to Canada really since I've done it. Well, yeah, because I saw you talking to Thomas Middleditch when he was on. Yeah, we speak the same language. We were talking Canadian to each other. He was yelling. It looked like he was yelling at you. Yeah, that speak the same language. Yeah. We were talking Canadian to each other. He was yelling. It looked like he was yelling at you. Yeah, yeah. That's how we communicate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to shout through the cold. Do you actually worry about... I kind of do a little bit.

We joke about maple face. Yes, we talk about maple face. And when Thomas was on, we were talking about that, that when you're in Canada, it's the type of comedy we would both totally avoid. Right. Stereotypical. And then we came down here and, like, something turned. And I don't know if it's because no one else is doing it or we miss it and it's a bit of home. Well, can you say you're kind of doing it ironically? Sure.

Is that part of it? I think so. Yeah. But I don't think I would have even done it ironically in Canada because it just wouldn't work like that. Yeah. And then in Canada, too, wouldn't work like that. Yeah. And then in Canada, too, it would come across as like a regional, either making fun of the East Coast or something when you're, oh, geez, look at those boys there. That's the East Coast accent?

That's like a stronger Canadian accent is usually on the East Coast. Okay. Yeah, like Newfie when they use Newfoundlanders accents, that's considered like the real, like, oh, yeah, I could go down to Dubai and, you know, I don't understand a word you just said. And then a lot of slurs. Do the Newfies make fun of like the Prince Edward Islanders? I think within the East Coast they have that. But Newfoundlanders, Newfies is a bit derogatory. They definitely still use it, but they've been the most.

Newfies is a derogatory term yeah oh wow yeah stuff gets pretty rough up there you're a new fee a darn great new fee but a new fee nonetheless um are we gonna have to bleep all of that yeah get your research the n on that. The Canadian N-word. Well, and you actually, because you were just on a sketch on Monday. You were on Andy's Sports Blast doing a hockey.

Doing a Don Cherry-ish impression. Yeah, I was a hockey commentator. And so there's a famous color commentator in Canada named Don Cherry

who Andre Dubuchet who wrote it knew about. Oh. And he's famous for wearing these really loud suits. I wondered. I didn't get that. Yeah.

Yes. I think our Canadian demo would. You were wearing a leopard print blazer. Yes. I thought that was a personal choice. Well, someone was saying there's a color commentator here, maybe NBA, something Melrose, some Barry Melrose, maybe. They said that's who they thought we were doing.

Oh. But Don Cherry is, like, very blue and would always say something controversial about, you know, they can play hockey over in Europe, but we just don't, you know, you don't need to bring them over the pond and have them play here. So, like, stuff that would edge on race. And then he would, like, go into stuff. There's, like, a long thing about female fans and how the female fans are kind of ruining the game at the lots of there's like all these highlight reels of him just and the guy who's

with him who's kind of this straight man he's just like oh don don don no no no like he's like that fred willard kind of character that just goes off yeah yeah um but oh and then we also just had you playing um well you were playing yourself, I guess, but, uh, talking about the, the Raptors. That's right. Toronto Raptors. Yeah.

So you were sort of shit talking people around the audience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just crank my personality. Right. Right. Yeah.

I guess to six, that's me turned up to six. It does seem like a stretch. Is it okay if I say this? The, there was a sort was one version of the sketch that you guys then had to reshoot

because it was too hard to understand your Canadian accent yes that's right and then that was the same thing with the Don Cherry that afterwards Matt and I think Conan had mentioned I think you need to slow it down because you're talking so fast and the accent is so strong words Matt and I think Conan had mentioned. They're like, I think you need to slow it down because

you're talking so fast and the accent is so strong. It's like, oh, okay. But both of those, the actual people talk that quickly. So it's making sense to me. I didn't even make that connection. So now Canadians watching the slowed down version are like, he's not Canadian.

That's totally fake. He doesn't have a speech impediment. There needs to be a Chrome extension or something that speeds it up to Canadian speed. Oh, now I get it. Well, I think we should just have you do it regular and then we could subtitle you. I like that. As a Canadian. I would feel like that doesn't alter my culture.

Good, good, good. You're not selling your culture out. Yeah. I did feel like when I had to slow it down, I was checking in with Andre. I'm like, I feel like I'm making him sound slow. He's like, no, that sounds normal to us. So America. We're one big country of new fees down here.

That's it. I like that pause. Well, no, we did. We also wanted to ask you about the writer's schedule. You're on the sketch team. Can you maybe walk us through what's a regular day for a sketch writer? People want to know what a pre-tape that you're going to run out and shoot or something live in studio or collaborating with someone on either a bigger piece or something that they're doing. And then a lot of us are also performers, so we're in other people's sketches or in our own.

And then sometimes you're coming in and you don't have anything that day, so you're just pitching something to quickly turn around to get cut in rehearsal or something you've been planning for 10 days that could get cut in rehearsal. There are many ways. There's so many ways to get things cut in rehearsal. Yeah. And as a sketch performer and writer, we have a myriad. I like when things are, the quick cut where it's pitched in the morning meeting

and it's like, oh, yeah, that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm going to go down and pitch it to Conan. And you're like, okay. And 20 minutes later, just an email saying that sketch will not be for today. And you're like, oh, okay. I think I know what happened in that meeting. It got asked quickly. Sometimes you'll get an explanation, like not feeling it. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the most I get. We don't make fun of newbies on the show. That's sort of my favorite thing, though, is somebody liked your pitch, but then you don't actually have to execute it. Oh, yeah. It's win-win. That's the dream, yeah. You get the credit.

Yeah. Without the work. You just write one of my favorite things that Gordo, one of our other writers, had come up with is when- Michael Gordon. Michael Gordon was working on tweets. Can we talk about the fact that we do? I don't know.

We were putting together tweets for the show. He was saying the thing that he likes is to submit one that's so good, Conan picks it out of all the other ones, yet gets the least amount of likes from the audience online. He said it's such a tough needle to thread. You're writing a joke so good that one of the best comedy writers working today selects it, but you're both so wrong that no one else out in the world likes it. Yeah, because there will occasionally be those. I mean, you know, routinely he gets tens of thousands of likes, but then sometimes one will get like 700 likes.

And it's just like, it is a beautiful thing. I'm taking him down one tweet at a time. We're taking him down from the inside. Yeah, that's our Star Wars shot. Yep. Yeah. But so, yeah, so starting in the morning, we usually pitch topical stuff. Yeah.

So I think when I describe it to people, the thing that makes their head spin that I forget was so shocking to me when I started is the quick turnaround so you'll you could be driving in and just come up with an idea on the way pitch it as you come in or in our morning meeting around 10 and it could get the go-ahead for that day so you quickly go in and you cast it then you talk to wardrobe and you pick out the outfit and then you talk to the set design and then you get the music for it and anything else and it could be rehearsed at 1.30 and on the show. Yeah. Or cut by two. Or cut by two.

Yeah. And the really nerve-wracking ones are where you realize it won't be, if it's a pre-tape, it won't be ready for rehearsal. Yes. And then the email goes out, well, we'll watch it in the card meeting, which is the monologue meeting right before the show. And then. It's like Conan's already in his wardrobe for the show.

He's in his wardrobe and it's amped up. And then it's a screen. It puts a lot more pressure on it. And also sometimes in rehearsal too, you can go, Oh yeah, that's great. Like if he has qualms about it,

he'll say, can you fix that? And that, and there's two hours to fix it. So it's like, sure, no problem. But yes, at four o'clock, there's no margin. It's either in or out. Yeah.

It's an in or out situation. I hadn't thought of this, but two, the other thing as sketch writers is we don't interact with Conan in general as much, whereas the mono writers have kind of regular meetings throughout the day. Yeah, that's true. It's still, like walking into the dressing room, walking into Conan's dressing room for a card means it was the first time I was in there. Right. It reminds me of the few times I went into like the boxes at NHL games where it's just all execs.

And then like you happen to have a friend and you go in and everyone stops. They know that you don't belong there. Everyone's kind of dressed fancy. There's one guy pacing in a suit, a taller man in a suit. And everyone remains quiet until you leave. See, I never go in to his dressing room for those. I wait in the booth, and I can audibly hear through one of their headsets whether they say it's a go or not. I feel like that's a submarine waiting to hear if the missile hit. Did it ping? Did it ping?

Yeah. From a safe distance. Every rider's different. Some avoid that room at all costs. Why would I want to go in there? And then others just brave it. Oh, man. Yeah, it's usually fun. Usually by the time it gets there, you know there's at least an idea. And sometimes that hard deadline that you're racing works to your advantage. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, and then, you know, there are so many steps along the way where things can go wrong during the day. And you can be delayed, like, just by having a VO person that hits traffic. Oh, yeah. Or. A prop that is, the glue gun isn't working. Yeah. Sound glitch or something. Yeah.

And then it gets rehearsed. And then it's I mean, for me, too, it's always like the rehearsal might go perfectly. And then the actual show, someone important flubs a line or the dog decides not to hump the line. Dogs literally never do the right thing in the show. We've had a run of people. That's right, because I had the bearded dogs bit with probably one of my, probably the best actor I've worked with on the show, Augie,

this golden lab that we get in. Great dog. I think I've done five or six bits. Can you explain the beard bit? Yeah, so it was off, like one of those small news stories, a study had found that bearded men hold more germs on average than most dogs. So Conan just does a quick thing. He said, you know, news to me,

I realized we often have a lot of bearded audience members. Nothing against them. I love that you came here, but my concern is for the health of my audience. So just to keep the germ level down, we're going to have all of you replaced. And so we have, you know, these bearded plants and actors, and I think we moved like one real audience member

and they're all quickly replaced with dogs who take their seats. Yeah. And Andy at the end has a beat where he goes, oh, Conan, you missed one. There's one of those bearded ones over here. And we show this golden retriever wearing a beard. And it's quickly replaced.

It's a dog with a beard. And it's quickly replaced with a similar dog with no beard. Yeah. Was the idea. And so we did the rehearsal. And Augie, the dog that had the beard on, perfect every time. Sat still, like very stoic. And then, of course, in the show, it cuts.

And just going at the beard, trying to get it off. time, sat still, like very stoic. And then of course in the show it cuts and just going at the beard, trying to get it off. Yeah, it was a mess. But like pulled it down over and then looked up and truly gave Conan the longest stare. I think the final cut doesn't even have... Like a fuck you stare. The longest fuck you, like non-blinking

like this wise old sage. Like who the hell is the best? And then that ended up making the... Dogs never get cut. They're... Yeah. They're cut-proof no matter what they do.

Yeah. Right, because people are still just delighted to have a dog. They're dogs! Oh, yeah. There's a dog energy in the dog.

Yeah. Yeah. And then the nice thing, too, is, you know, for as bad as a sketch can go, you're done at the end of the day. And you have to start over the next day. That's true.

And that goes good and bad. That's the nice thing about the next day. It's a reset. And then I think everyone becomes acutely aware of how quickly those victories fade. I think we all get really good at just savoring the moment when something worked. Because it's a relief that it worked for you. And I think this show, because it is so hectic, it's a relief that it worked for you. And I think this show, because it is so hectic, it's a relief that it worked for the show when we really feel like we're all

in it together. And then the next day, it is near impossible to recapture that feeling or convince yourself you've ever had anything that kind of worked. Yeah. I always feel like the, the good feeling is so fleeting. And then the bad feelings stay for the rest of your life. The bad feeling is like the plaque that stay for the rest of your life. Yeah. The bad feeling is like the plaque that sticks to the side of the arc. The good feeling is the blood that just quickly goes through. What a terrible system.

God devised. Yeah. The talk show. Right. The talk show. He put it on earth to torture us. Yeah. On the eighth day.

Very effective. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's, it's us. On the eighth day. It's very effective. Yeah. Yeah, no, there's no savoring. No. Well, and another thing that came up with you recently that we were just talking about is sometimes writers will write in a brand into a sketch. And that usually is just organic. It's like we read a story about something in the news. Yeah. And then a lot of times when that airs, the brand will send us some free stuff.

Right. Like, oh, a Snickers truck fell on the highway and there's Snickers everywhere. And then the next day we'll get a box of Snickers. Yeah. From that highway. Yeah. But there's been kind of a trend in our office that I think some listeners will, I mean, this is going to be a familiar trend if you've been listening to our podcast for a while. Right. Yeah. Of them sending stuff in and then us. Well, it always changes the way we learn that these companies send stuff in. Because I don't know how it works or where the mail goes

or if these products go to a different place. It goes to the second floor. It goes to the second floor. Yeah, so I remember the first time I learned about something related to a bit I had done, it was a bit where Colin Farrell, it was for the second season of True Detective. So it was off Matthew McConaughey was doing all those Lincoln ads. And I'm like, well, now there's a second season. They sent a Lincoln?

Oh, they probably did. We didn't hear about it. But for the second season, it wasn't doing as well. So like, so Colin Farrell, you know, didn't get as good a deal, but he also got a commercial check it out. And it was just a whole drive-in commercial where we reveal he's in the Oscar Myers Wienermobile. Right. And it was just a whole drive-in commercial where we revealed he's in the Oscar Myers Wienermobile. And it was very stoic. And so maybe four or five days later, I saw a couple interns and researchers with all these Oscar Myers Wienermobile toys and asked

them, oh, they sent a box a couple of days ago of all this stuff thanking us for mentioning them in it. And so we asked, and none of the writers had heard that that had happened there was no mention there wasn't an email or anything um so this also happening and recently right we did we did a this npr bit andre dubach and i worked on this bit where there was a news story that they changed their theme music for morning edition for the first time in 40 years. So Kona reveals, you know, it's a different sound. I was a little surprised, you know, if you keep listening. And so we added lyrics to it for the first time. Do you remember any of the lyrics?

Yeah. Can you sing some of the lyrics? Yes. So the genesis of that is I drove into work just looping it in my car. And for the most part, just singing. Wait, your car has music capabilities? Yes. Okay. I have installed music capabilities in my car has music capabilities? Yes. Okay.

I have installed music capabilities in my car. You have a very old car. He has a vintage thing. I have a 73 thing, a Volkswagen thing that breaks down about twice a week. But that's what children are like, too, and I've committed myself to it. Children are not like that. I've never looked into it. I believe children break down two or three times a week as well.

No. Okay, sure. Yeah, keep the thing. But it's become part of my story. Your brand. It's part of my brand, yeah. So, yes, I was driving in my car, which I had a stereo put in so I could play music, and it was just looping this. I think it was like a 40-second clip.

And it was just me going, na-na-na-na-na-na-na news. And for probably about 20 minutes of my drive, it was about a 35-minute drive. And then just adding lyrics. And then when I got here, Andre was here, and we kind of just sat down. I think we were done in like 10 minutes. That's where most of it started. So we did it on that day's show and did the kind of bouncing ball lyrics.

And it went out. And then I think Lori brought it to our attention. Our queen of Twitter. Lori Kilmartin. One of our monoriders. Mentioned that NPR had picked it up and was retweeting it. Steve Inskeep had tweeted. Has like a quarter million followers.

That's the summit of the mountain. And we made it. We got Inskeep. Yeah. Got the Inskeep. That's the summit of the mountain. We made it. We got InScape. Yeah. Got the InScape. Everyone retire. So it's cool. So it was put out.

And then also all the local stations have been putting it. So like, hey, go and wrote lyrics to it. And then Matt, our head writer, has friends at NPR. And he said that they've been singing it all morning. So that was fun. In their things. Everyone in their thing is how I like to picture it. So the next day, I think, maybe a couple days later,

there was an email sent out. I don't know how to get into this. There was an email sent out from one of our coworkers just saying, hey, cool news. NPR loved the bit we did about their theme song and sent a bunch of t-shirts and hats and stickers and all these other things. Yeah. Swag. Yeah. All the swag. It's on the second floor. Let's take a look across America's office. So it's on this one table downstairs. So- I went pretty fast.

I think I saw you ahead of me. We were both kind of like, because there's such a record of bill happening to you, we're like, well, let's check this out. So I went down. You guys are too cheap to donate. I do donate, but I donate to KPCC, so I have my specific. Yeah. And I think I also more just like the novelty of like,

what weird stuff would you send as a thank you for an already weird thing? So I went down and there were. Wienermobiles. Wienermobiles. Cr're Wienermobiles. Crotchless panties? One person got the actual Wienermobile. And so I went down and it was like two packs of oral health care. It was like a toothbrush and a thing of floss and a clear pad.

And some stickers. And one of these. They are on message. Like a puck. Like a little handle you put on the back of your cell phone. Oh, right. To prop it up. To make selfies easier. Yeah, to make selfies.

Yeah, when you're watching TV at your desk. Yeah, I was like, how did it get cleaned out already? Because I went right with the email when I got the email. And it sounded like we were passing people with shirts and tees. So, and it was also, is that bummer? Like, also not unexpected. So, I walked back up, and I just

replied to the president at the end. I said, hey, is there any chance you guys set aside some, like, shirts and tees for the writers who, like, worked on the piece? I think I just said for the writers. And I immediately got a response saying, oh, I think I can get a hat. But it looks like all the tees are spoken for down here.

We're already wearing the term spoken for. They were adopted. We'd have to rip them off somebody's body. I know. They were adopted by someone over 18. They ripped them off somebody's body. I know. That was the other thing that got me. I'm like, oh, can I unspeak for them? Like, who gives you the, we fought this war and we went to, I remember.

And then she, I think she fell really bad. She came up after and just with a handful of stickers and a hat. She was like, hey, Levi. And then I'm like, and I didn't know if I would cross the line. Because I was like, is it weird that we ask if you guys just let us know first? Or just set something aside for bits we've worked on? And I think it just doesn't occur to them. Like, I don't think, obviously, there's any malice. I think it just really, it's just like,, I don't think obviously there's any malice.

I think it just really, it's just like, oh, we got some cool stuff. Oh, we got free stuff. Yeah. Rip the box open. Yeah, yeah. Grab it. It's for me. All the animals.

Yeah. They probably don't watch the show. They don't even know we did an NPR thing. Well, that's what I was thinking. Yeah. I actually think that it's possible that the people at our company don't really, also don't know how stuff ends up on the show. Right, yeah. the people at our company don't really even also don't know how stuff ends up on the show. Yeah.

Like that. We have writers who, you know, create that bit, that concept. Right. So it could have been like Conan had a mono joke, maybe that had NPR and they sent it.

Right. And they're like, sorry, we've already eaten all the t-shirts. We can't give them back. Well, yeah, I feel like this has happened a bunch of times.

I remember it happening once with El Pollo Loco where I had written something and then it was like by the time I got down there, it was just, it was like just beans. There was no chicken. Yeah. And dental kits. I was able to get enough stickers, though, to create sort of the shape of a T-shirt. That's great. That was enough for me. No, see, I think we got three T-shirts because I remember Andre got it.

Oh, you did get some. Oh, okay. Well, they were down in our first floor. Oh. So that was the thing that was revealed. Right. Oh, stuff. Yes, that was the, we always hear about stuff being on the second floor.

And so we think it appears on the second floor. Oh, no, the stuff on the second floor has gone through the first floor, which gets. So the hierarchy has changed. Yeah, we haven't even really heard about the first floor. It's like it's a kingdom beyond the kingdom. So the first floor is actually the top of the food chain. That's right. And so that's where I think they had gone around and kind of gotten some hats back. You know what I think the explanation might be?

The first floor, that's the office called Team Coco. And I think sometimes when people send stuff, they address it to Team Coco. That makes total sense. And so that's where it's delivered. Yes. And I don't know. Those boxes. No, I think it is.

I think it's just you open it and you see free stuff and you're like, sweet. So we need to get people to send gifts to Levi McDonald. Yeah. Oh, boy. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Did I say the revelation? The former head writer who hired me.

I did hire you. Did I say McDonald's? You meant to hire Levi McDonald. This whole time you thought you had hired famed comedy writer Levi McDonald. There is a Mike McDonald. What a fool believes. No, that's Michael Mc, who is that? Yeah, that's also Michael McDonald. That's Michael McDonald. Oh, he goes by Michael McDonald Who is that? That's also Michael McDonald.

That's Michael McDonald. He goes by Michael McDonald. And the comic, Mike McDonald, who is kind of one of the vanguards of Canadian stand-up. He was kind of Jim Carrey contemporary, maybe even before Harlan Williams, that whole scene. He's the Don Cherry of stand-up. He's the Don Cherry of stand-up.

He's probably our Bill Hicks of stand-up in Canadian stuff. Oh my God. I mean, as far as kind of a club comic like that who worked the road and stuff. You just reminded me of a Norm MacDonald story.

Oh, great. Oh. Oh, that I, oh no. Oh, you don't have to tell. No, no. Oh, I wanted, oh my God,

I wanted to tell. Which is a story that would have been told to me by another comic, right? Sure, of course. Yes. Yeah. Is that what you're talking about?

Like an old road story from Norm? Yeah. So the story I heard was, so I was a couple generations younger than the Yuck Yucks Road comics who started when I came up. Right. And one of the comics I knew who had toured, who was a great storyteller about those days, and had toured with Norm Macdonald and Norm Macdonald already like kind of quickly took off. And I think he was one or two years senior to these guys as far as experience. So this story I was told is that they were doing, I think like a big corporate show, like a big crowd. And one of the first paid gigs for some of these comics, or at least the first one, are they getting paid like a significant amount.

And so Norm was headlining. And I think there were three or four comics who were doing five, maybe eight minute sets. And at that time, it was all the material they had, you know, their new comics. Okay, I've polished off my set, I got these jokes. And now I'm going to go out with this guy, he's a great headliner, and we're gonna do this big corporate gig. And so at the gig, as they were starting, Norm off the top said, I'm just going to go out there and kind of warm up the crowd, you know, do a little teaser, and then you guys do your sets. So Norm went up and apparently did everyone else's material. Did all the, is this the story? Oh, my God. They did all the jokes. And what I loved is when I was told to me, they were like, first off, those are the only jokes we had.

But the worst thing about it is Norm's jokes were better. Like, our jokes were, he had so, like, he had three hours and he was going to do an hour on this show. So, he was only doing it to fuck with them. Oh, my God. And he said, but we were just mortified because it's like, it's not like we have a lesser five minutes. Right. He's like, that was everything. What did they do?

And when he came off, he was just a joke. And he's like, that was kind of. Your turn. Yeah, your turn. Oh, my God. And so they just went up and flopped and tried to do crowd work. And I just, I liked the motivelessness of it. Oh, I know.

And then bullying. Did you have to drive with him for an hour? It would. Hey, wasn't that great when I did your acts? What were you thinking? I must have been crazy. That's also only a joke for the other comics. The audience doesn't know.

They saw a pretty okay opening, and then what the hell happened in the middle? And then the guy that closed it came back, and he was really good. He still went on and get? Yeah. They saw like a pretty okay opening and then what the hell happened in the middle? And then the guy that closed was, came back and he was really good. He still went on and killed. Yeah. I just love that. Yeah. Oh my God. Well, that's mortifying.

And then he also didn't get any NPR swag. It happens at all levels. That does make me feel better. Well, how do we correct this? We have to do another test case. Oh, yeah. Maybe we should mention who should we mention on the podcast, and maybe they'll send us something free. Yeah, we mention NPR again.

I don't see. Yeah, that has to be. This is an audio medium. They're going to eat this stuff up. Yeah, we could probably aim for something bigger, maybe. Sure. Tim Hortons. We talked about Tim Hortons. Oh, yeah. That would be a shit. There might still be some in New York. Maybe they can ship some over. I think there are some in New York. Yeah. I think Grand Central

Station. Is that a union station? That's the one in, what's in New York? Grand Central? Grand Central. I think there's a Tim Hortons there. Time Station? Yeah. Because I remember my mom telling me that she had gone there and ordered a Double Double, which is how you order a Tim Hortons coffee in Canada. Two creams, two sugars. She ordered a Double Double and the lady was delayed. She's like, oh, Canadian. I can always tell you guys when you come to.

Because it was American workers at a Tim Hortons. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. That's sweet. Well, Levi, you're. Sweet country, guys. You were a diversity hire, but you're still very funny in your own right.

I'll prove myself. Thank you. Thanks for coming on, Levi. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks, Levi. All right. That's our show. Yes, thanks for listening. It always goes by fast for me.

I don't know about for the listener. Next week, we're actually going to be in Ghana. Yes. If you watched the show, you saw the announcement. We announced it last night, and we're off to Ghana for a week. We're doing our next Conan Without Borders in Ghana. And you can follow our trip on social media. Yeah, on Facebook and Instagram.

There's going to be a lot of live streams and lots of Instagram stories, Instagram lives. Yes. And I think it's going to be a wild visit. It is. We have a lot planned. We're taking Sam Richardson from Veep and Detroiters. Really, really funny. And Tim Robinson's sketch show.

Yeah. He's hilarious. And his mother is from Ghana. Yeah, and she's going to be there too, actually. Yep. Yeah. We just found out she will just happen to be there.

Yeah, so you're going to see lots of all this behind-the-scenes stuff. And Conan's going to try to drive all this behind-the-scenes stuff. And Conan's going to try to drive, obviously, a wedge between Sam and his mother. Yes. Yes. Try to get adopted by Sam's mother. He's a meddler. So we'll see you there.

And we won't be here next week, but you'll still get a new episode from us. That's right. Of magic. Oh, we always deliver. All right, we'll see you next week. We like you. Bye. Bye. Oh, we always deliver. All right. We'll see you next week. We like you. Bye.

Bye. Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast, is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jesse Gaskell. Produced by Kevin Bartelt. Engineered by Will Becton. Mixed by Ryan Connor. Supervising producer is Aaron Blair. Associate producer, Jen Samples.

Executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross. Jeff Ross. Jeff Ross. And Team Coco. And Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf. Thanks to Jimmy Vivino for our theme music

and interstitials. You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. And of course, please subscribe and tell a friend to listen to Inside show on Apple Podcasts. And of course, please subscribe and tell a friend to listen to Inside Conan on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or whatever platform you like best. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.