Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Brian McCann

Episode Date: August 16, 2019

Legendary Conan writer and performer Brian McCann joins Conan writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to discuss everything during his 17 years at Conan. They talk about the FedEx Pope, Preparation H Raymond, being the ambassador for the improv and stand-up community in Chicago in the late 80s/early 90s, his Arrogant Dumbass character bombing during a Conan taping, Joe’s Pub, the “No Reason to Live” Kayak Guy, and much more.This episode is brought to you by Vital Farms (www.vitalfarms.com/coupon) and National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.Check out Conan Without Borders: Australia: https://teamcoco.com/australiaCheck out Conan25: The Remotes: https://conan25.teamcoco.com/Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail] For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com

And now, it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hi. Hello. Hi. I'm Mike Sweeney. I'm Jessie Gaskell. We are both writers on The Conan Show, last we checked. Yes, I hope so.

It changes day to day. Because I'm still working here. Right. That would be horrible if you kept working here and didn't get a paycheck. I know. But I do assume that that's what's going to happen one day. I'll just log in and my password will have been changed. It's tough even getting a paycheck and working here sometimes.

So, no paycheck. Yeah, Sweeney forgot his glasses today. I did, sorry. My reading glasses. So if he sounds different, that's why. Yes, this is all carefully scripted. I'm reading from a script. No, but you just told me an interesting thing

about your glasses. Oh, I did? Yes. They're prisoner glasses. I went to this place in hip Silver Lake and they're like, oh man, we've got these cool frames that we bought. You know, there's surplus from a prison. Sure, let's dial those up.

And they're prison glasses because they have no metal in the frame. Yeah, so you can't kill yourself. Or others. Yeah. You can't Epstein yourself or others. Yeah. You can't Epstein yourself or others. No shiv unless you can, maybe you can sharpen a plastic to the point where you can harm people. Anything can be a shiv. Anyway, we're not in a prison.

We're at a job that we like very much. What a segue. And this week we have an interview that we did in New York. a segue. And this week, we have an interview that we did in New York. Yes. It's by popular demand. We've been sitting on this one. We have.

It was hard to keep it under my butt cheeks because it's so hot. Which is where we store all our interviews when they're done. You really do it all on this show.

Incredible. I know. I'm like a hen and I'm warming the interviews. I know. We have to keep- Before they hatch. Otherwise, these tapes are destroyed if they're not kept at 98.6.

So, this one has been appropriately warmed. It is Brian McCann. Brian McCann. I'm going to use the term legendary writer and performer on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, The Tonight Show, and also The Conan Show on TBS. Yeah. And he's been in so many. Oh, man.

Just an incredible performer. Brilliant performer. Tons of characters. Brilliant writer. Tons of ass shots. Yes. When he left the show, we thought, well, we might just have to fold our tent and go home. Yeah.

Without McCann around. But yeah, we had just have to fold our tent and go home. Yeah. Without McCann around. But yeah, we had a nice conversation with him, and here it is. We've got another historic, legendary Conan writer with us. We sure do. Yeah. This is a big one. This is a big one. It's Brian McCann.

Brian McCann. Hi. Your portrait still hangs in the hallway. do yeah this is a big one this is a big one it's brian mccann brian mccann your portrait still hangs in the hallway it does i am very flattered by that yeah in our office it's a giant portrait of you with your years working it implies that you are dead though it does they're sort of yes which may not be completely that far off. I think that helps burnish your legend. Yes. I will say at least like six times a year or once every two months, if you do the math, someone texts me a picture like, I'm at Conoco and look at this. And that's your picture.

And I always have to be like, wait, what? That's crazy. That's wild. Even though I helped hang it. That's crazy. That's wild. Even though I helped hang it. That's nice. But it also shows you how rarely we redecorate. Yes. No, that's true.

But I do, is there any other picture of any other writer that is hung with such just, you know, center focus? It is. I think it's the only one. Yeah, we're low-balling it. You walk up the center staircase towards our lobby, and there's a landing. It's giant. It's in a gilded frame. It's got to be at least four foot by three foot.

It's a large picture. It's fantastic. It's a fake daguerreotype, I think, because you were playing a- Look it up, folks. Folks, we use some really big words, French words on this show. We don't dumb it down for you. No way. We couldn't afford daguerreotypes, so we faked.

I know the other shows use real daguerreotypes, but not us. We're on a cable channel. So what were the years that you were there? By there, I also mean here. 95? 95. Yes, near the Christmas time. Yep.

I started in November. And then if you go 17 years after that, I left in August. So I don't remember exactly the year I left, but it was 17 years after 95. Around 2012. Okay. That seems a little early. That does seem early. I don't know why Jesse's trying to diminish your legacy.

Or challenge my math. Unless it was, oh, maybe it was 2013, but in August. I'm so bad at math, I'm not even. Well, I think 2013 might make more sense. Okay. Okay. Well, it's your life. Why should we know exactly?

We'll leave it for the biographers. Yeah. I wish I really honestly don't know. Okay. All right. I live life differently, I suppose. I don't know. I don't have, like, because nothing happened as soon as I left.

Right, right. I did a road trip, and then I hung out, and then I started doing something, like, the following January or something. Right, right. And none of those are connected to me to years. Like, I don't measure things, I guess, in years of, you know, this was the, you know, 2015. Whoo, what a year. No. But you, I missed you there, and I started in early 2014.

So, I know that you were gone. Well, 2013 sounds right, but, you know, here's a little challenge to the listeners. What if Brian avoided you for a year while he was gone? Oh, that's possible. What's the challenge to the listeners? What year did I leave? Brian's giving you all the statistics you need. First one to write a postcard and send it in with the correct date.

It has to be a postcard. It has to be a postcard. And we don't have an address. So that's a further challenge. Yeah. But good luck. Good luck to you listeners. But anyway, it was a remarkable

gig to have so you've been there since 2014 yeah yeah remarkable it's nowhere near 17 years but no we we it's so funny we talked to stack oh who believe it or not remembers exact dates for everything. Yeah. But he's amazing. He's amazing. And he always, like, he remembers. Brian Stack. Brian Stack remembers every single intern's name.

Yes. And I do not. And so, like, and I would say to him, like, oh, like, who is that? Like, I have such trouble remembering names. And he'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, me too. And then he just, he knows every single one of them. So, I think he sympathizes and he tries to make it seem like, yeah, you're not alone. He doesn't want you to feel bad about how inferior.

But then, boy, you feel bad because then he's shaking hands and asking about their dogs and stuff like that. Right. Then he deliberately tries to show you up in front of former interns. It's a classic stack move. Classic. But he was just talking about all the stuff that, like, I think you were the king of coming up with stuff in the writer's room. In the room. Right. That's right, I was.

Mike, finally you've said something accurate. Thank you. Thanks for the acknowledgement. That would end, like, it was literally. Just doing, yeah. Let's put this on the show tomorrow. Messing around and then now that's a character that's going on the acknowledgement. That would end, like, it was literally. Just doing, yeah. Let's put this on the show tomorrow. Messing around and then now that's a character that's going on the show.

I think that's when I'm most productive is in those situations. And then, like, the productivity goes way down when they're like, well, now go to your desk and type up 10 beats. Oh, yeah, right. And you're like, oh. No, but that's the weird thing about writer's rooms

is that people are really quiet and kind of introverted in the writer's room. And then there's some who just kind of, it's like, oh, this is, I got this group here I can make laugh. It's a total playground. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You would grab what was, like, we were just talking about the FedEx Pope,

which is still one of my favorite characters. Which was, yeah, ridiculous that that got on. And then someone like I mean fans liked the FedEx Pope I was I always loved the FedEx Pope and the story

the story of of its birth is just so lame it's just me putting on a FedEx box and just going I'm the FedEx Pope and people laughing

you were really resourceful working with the materials you had it's true Preparation H Raymond was simply because Preparation H sent a huge box of Preparation H. Yeah, we couldn't remember. I was trying to remember. It was-

Why did they send a- Did we do a joke about it? No, it was just one of those things where companies- They just knew that we have him right. You know how companies just send the show, or at least they did. They just send the show stuff, hoping you're going to use it. Except Preparation H did not like the way that we used it, which is just me

as a buck-toothed freak man passing it out. With giant ears. Well, that was the freak man. And singing. And singing. About their product. I don't know what's not to like. We asked if Preparation H Raymond could go tour the Preparation H facilities, and they did not even respond.

Right. Right. We want to do remotes. That was going to be my first solo remote. Oh, like Preparation H is getting tons of other offers? That's not. Right. I can't even think of the last time I saw an ad of theirs.

We were irate. I remember we were like, what's wrong with them? Why would they let this character into their facility? But they sent it to a show, and then the show willingly just makes this long-running bit about their product. I do remember we did a week of shows in Toronto. Right. And Preparation H, Raymond was there. And Preparation H comes in those long boxes you know

kind of boxes and then inside the box is a tube so it's a weighty box and i was whipping those boxes into the crowd right that was part of your character would carry a basket and whip preparation samples to people like the actual product and it hits someone in the eye uh and so like there was like an injury and it became a headline like on page seven of the toronto times the next day and it was a picture of me and it said preparation h raymond rubs everyone the wrong way and it talked about someone's eye injury i forgot about that yeah so you had to did we send you back early across the lines back to the States? I got rolled up in a rug and just smuggled back to safety. Because there was also an incident with Triumph up in Toronto because he made fun of Quebec, French, you know, the province.

Don't mess with Quebec. Man, did they. There was backlash. There were angry speeches in Parliament in Ottawa. In French. Yeah, and Conan had to apologize. Yeah, well, that was, I think, the last show. Because I remember I was at the airport early the following day, and that was all over the papers.

There were tabloids on the front page. Oh, wow. And I felt like we were getting out just on the last helicopter. It was scary. Is that why we haven't been back to Canada? Ah. I don't know. Maybe.

A little bit. The week was going great, other than this eye injury, which I don't even remember. And then, yeah, the next to last night was this snafu with one-tenth of their country. But nonetheless, Preparation H. Raymond was a classic. Yeah. Whether you lose an eye or not, you're going to love this friendly purveyor of prep age. That one-eyed person has a story to tell the grandkids. What a tale.

And a clipping. Page seven clipping. Yeah. I think I was so embarrassed. I didn't, page seven clipping. Yeah. I think I was so embarrassed. I didn't even save that clipping. Right. And that's usually something I revel in is personal failures. Right.

Look what I failed at. I failed this good. Yeah. Yeah. My failure got a headline. Yeah. But for whatever reason, I was like, didn't want to. Now, here I'm talking about it 15 years later.

Sure. But for whatever reason, I didn't want to memorialize that. Well, it's upsetting, I assume. Yeah. Some level. I'm sure that person's okay. Well, Brian, I don't know you very well, and I'd love to hear about your background. How did you come to Conan?

I mean, what were you doing before that? I was doing, back in the early 90s. I'd love to hear about your background. How did you come to Conan? I mean, what were you doing before that? I was doing, back in the early 90s, it was really only one road. It was you go out and do stand-up. This was before the blogs and the YouTube clips. So you just went out and did stand-up. And I was solely Chicago-based. I didn't have a car. So, I wasn't a comic that even went to DeKalb, which is outside Chicago.

I just did clubs in Chicago and then I did a lot of improv and a lot of these clubs had improv teams and I was always on those improv teams and stuff. So, I was actually able and then I had a radio show in Chicago too, which came out of just that exposure of those clubs. So I was able to have a really good situation in Chicago, and I knew Andy very well, and Andy got brought in, and then I think he was always kind of a little bird in Conan's ear, like bring McCann, bring McCann kind of thing.

Yeah. I think that wore him down after a couple years. And he needed someone to injure people's eyes. The call was made. Yeah. I graduated from college in 87, and I just immersed myself in the Chicago improv scene for like five solid years. I had no dreams of doing anything else. I had no like even concept in my head that I could write for television or anything. You didn't have a plan.

You just loved doing it. I just loved doing it. And like my plan was maybe I'll buy a theater. Maybe I'll have my own improv bar yeah like literally that was the thing and then i was just like when andy got pulled in to uh to do uh late night i was like oh wait i was just so dumb my friend's got a good job wait there's i guess i could apply to work on a show like i just show. I was just really just enjoying the party. It was post-college. I was doing something.

I found something that I just totally loved. I was, like, excelling at to a certain degree. And, like, life was good. So I wasn't looking to rock the boat, but I also didn't have dreams other than I just wanted to make people laugh that night. Right. Kind of thing. It sounds like a good life. That sounds like you were in the moment.

But you were unusual, too. People would point out that I think it was unusual that you were really doing great as a stand-up, but you were also involved in improv. Like, a lot of times people are like, well, I'm an improver. I could never do stand-up, but you were also involved in improv. Like, a lot of times, people are like, well, I'm an improver. I could never do stand-up, or vice versa. Yeah. So I think that is cool. I don't know if that's so unique now anymore, but it was very unique at the time. Yes.

It was, because in the 80s and 90s, they were almost rival worlds. Like, they really, really looked down upon one another they were like the jets and the sharks they really they really were they would shit on each other it was crazy it was ridiculous it was silly and i was the uh you know the ambassador right to bridge both those sides we all suck no but i no but I would like I started like falling in love with like stand-ups

and I would bring my improv buddies to go see certain stand-ups especially like Bill Hicks and stuff and then like people got blown away and then I think like

through that gesture no I don't know if it was that but it was just like it definitely softened did it soften people within my like

improv yeah crew yeah you know like people would be like, oh, my God, truly inspiring. And you're actually watching art. You're now watching. Like an improviser's view of what stand-up was back then was there was only one type, and it was hack. Right.

You could name any name, and the only thought they had was, he's hacked. Right. He does the joke about your mom. Like, whatever. Yeah, airplane food. Right. And then you go, and you see some people who are just masters at it. And you really, like, I got so inspired.

And that's when I realized, like, I got to start writing. Right, right. Like, improv is so throwaway. and no matter how funny it is, it doesn't translate the next day kind of thing. I bet the improvers were more open-minded to the comics than the comics were to improvers. But I could be wrong. No, I think you're right, because comics totally resented.

They resent everything. They did that improvers didn't have to write stuff down. Didn't have to write stuff. And would usually get bigger laughs but it's like doing card tricks

yeah yeah yeah no there was a lot of right but then it was great too because like there was the improv comedy club had

they had a branch in Chicago and then there was this other club the funny firm and they realized oh we gotta have

comedy troops. We've got to have an improv group because there's a whatever. It's financially, everybody wants it. It was like improv was blowing up. Right. And so all the clubs wanted to get in on it. And so I was on those clubs' teams as well. And then so you would invite hilarious stand-ups to come sit with you.

And it was like almost every single time after those shows they would be like, I got a total new respect for you guys. Yeah. Like how fast you have to be and how confident

and blah, blah, blah. The muscles that you're using are stuff that we don't have. So it was always, I guess that's all part of my ambassadorship. Yes. Yeah.

But it was- I should send you to the Middle East. I'm available. You're a ambassadorship. Yes. But it was. I should send you to the Middle East. I'm available. You're a regular Jared Kushner. Yeah. Jared's about to drop a big peace plane. Give him a few more months.

I look forward to it. Yeah, yeah. We're all. I think he's got it in him. Yeah. Right? He does. I don't want to date this podcast.

But I don't think I will by saying. No, it's on its way. It's still a waiting period. So you're doing all that in chicago and then andy talked to you put together a packet yeah i put together like three pack you know i put it together an initial packet i think i met with conan and robert smigel when they were first hiring writers before the show started in 93 they came to a stand-up show that I did, and I talked with them afterwards. So I met them that way. And then I did stand-up on Conan's show.

I remember that. Oh. I think three times. Oh, my God. I remember one of those. The third time was I had nothing. Oh, wait. Seriously?

Yeah. I mean, it was one of those things. I had done it twice. So then I got a call from Frank Smile, like, you want to come do more stand-up? And I was like, yeah. And I hadn't been working on anything. We need you today. Oh, no.

Someone canceled. No, so I did. And it went OK. But at that point, I was already not going to be a stand-up. You know what I'm saying? Right. I was already kind of going more into commercial auditions and improv and stuff like that. Yeah.

But then after, it was after that third and arguably least successful stand-up that I got hired. Oh. Maybe at that point, Conan took pity on me and just was like, oh, this guy's not going to stand up. That's his way. He's taken pity on all of us. Yes. Man, I did stand up on the show, and it was not good. They called me the day before.

Oh, no. Yeah, someone canceled, and I went in. Oh, that's scary. I remember watching that set just years later. Oof. Something about Socks the Cat. Wait, what? Socks the Cat?

Wasn't there Socks the Cat was some president's cat? Oh, I don't remember. Clinton? I think Clinton had a cat. Yeah. Nixon? All I remember is Nixon. Nixon seems like he had a cat was some president's cat oh i don't know i think clinton had yeah nixon i'll remember nixon seems like he had a cat i did a hunk on the nixon checkers speech of 1952 but um yes so so then yeah was that a big deal to move like just relocate or you were pretty fancy no i wasn't pretty fancy i was uh we were about to move to la i felt like i was done sort of i had done what i could in chicago at that point and yeah kind of the plan was to move to la

yeah in at least a couple months yeah and then in classic late night fashion got the call and like we need you tomorrow to start yeah uh and they really and like, we need you tomorrow to start. Right, yeah. And they really, it was like, we need you tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. And it was Thanksgiving week. Oh, my God. Wow, that is classic. You had to work on Thanksgiving day.

Yeah, but like get out there Tuesday. It was crazy. That's crazy. But it all worked out. Yeah. I was so enormously thankful for it. You came in, and I think you had a sketch that you were in that you wrote within two days. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah. What? Yeah, no. We were all- I would have been so mad. You go back and watch it. It's not worth it. I remember the sketch.

You were a reindeer. Yeah. It does not worth it. I remember the sketch. You were a reindeer. Yeah. It does not hold up. It's also, it's like eight minutes long. I watched it at some point and I was like, oh my God. It was so long. Back then? Yeah, we've talked to other people about that.

About the earlier. It was like, can it be longer? Right. I sent a sketch around. All the writers checked it out. It was an eight-minute sketch with Dippy the Hippie from 1993 with Charlton Heston in it. And it was eight minutes. And I think everyone was just couldn't even wrap their brains around something.

Because, you know, everything's so, it's like tight, tight. It's got to be tight. But that's true. Everything does need to be tight. This was not. I remember doing some sketch, and it was all me. It was me talking to Conan at the desk. I was a page with, I don't know exactly what my problem was.

Just a dumbass page. And we started doing the sketch and the crowd instantly hated it. And I just remember like in my head just going, nine more pages. And it was just lonely.

Wow. I think all the writers were crying because it's one of those things where it killed and hurt. Like, I loved it or it wouldn't be those things where it killed and were like yeah i loved it yeah or it wouldn't be on the show and we're like i remember a few things like that where it's like the crowd's gonna go nuts you're already planning this for 10 years and you're planning for it to come back tomorrow it gets nothing oh it's funny because everyone is like tries to be in your head and knows it's just like you look over like at the cue card guy and what he's holding is just like this five foot thick stack

of cue cards it's just like oh can't we just cut it now but the crowd was like they just not only didn't like it they were like offended by the character right i think they thought i was like mocking like oh like mentally challenged people right i remember this sketch and and yeah tasu was just like this particular character you played and it didn't it was the arrogant dumbass right yeah which was just a dumbass who's super arrogant. Right. And it came across completely not that. Right. And even the first line, whatever it was, and no one laughed. And you could even hear just like, oh. Like from this one person in the crowd.

And that's when I was just like, no. Uh-oh. The war pages. Is this going to be on the website? I don't know. Now, please. You know what I was wondering? We'll make people work for finding it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to put be on the website? I don't know. Now, please. You know what I was wondering? We'll make people work for finding it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to put stuff on the web. And are there things where you're like, oh, you know what? I wish that was online because I'd love to show that to, I don't know, your children or whatever. But because something you'd love to see again. It doesn't have to involve you at all. Well, you're catching me off guard. There's plenty of things.

Of course. It's impossible to think of things. John Glazer sent me a couple sketches that he and I did. Yeah. And I did not even remember doing them. And I was just like, these are funny. Yeah. But like literally.

In such a volume. Yeah. Like not even did I like it come back to me as I was watching it. Didn't feel familiar. Yeah. No, I was like, oh, wow. That doesn't even sound like us. Too many things.

Because it was such a volume business. And you were there for crazy, like, 18-hour days. And then go home to real life where there's all sorts of demands and stuff happening, too. Right. So, like, my brain just decided, I don't know, it was just, which is maybe why I loved improv so much. It's just like I can't store stuff. Right, right.

Yeah, it's not the way your brain, it's like move on. I was so happy to be on a show with cue cards because there was like no memorized lines because I was always like if I could just see one or two words and I'd be like, I know the line. Oh, cool. You know? Yeah.

It's so funny i um i just i i rarely go on imdb but i went on imdb for you just to read read about some of the shows you've been working on and then i i it listed a long list of all the characters you played and some of them were hilarious some of them read those right now i i yeah i could pull them up some of them are really funny one was just a lot of them i just love the names of characters well a lot of them start with the name bad doctor wait here we go uncomfortable salesman doctor two thumbs there were a lot of doctors here's one called audience member that's pretty memorable uh i will say being in the audience was my favorite.

Oh, yeah. Just yelling at Conan. Yeah. That and Joes. You should put up all of the Joes. Oh, the Joes are going up. Joes. Someone, oh, my son, Matt, watched some of them and loved them.

Those, A, I hate to watch myself. Is that true? Yes. And when I do watch myself, I usually cringe and just go like, really? Oh, no. Truly. But I don't think I usually cringe and just go like, really? Oh, no. Truly. But I think, I don't think I'm alone. No, of course not.

However, but like I was watching, like Joe's Pub, and I don't know, like I'm not saying they're that funny, but that makes me like laugh still watching it. They're really funny. They're so just rude. And you wrote the, there's the little intro song that you wrote, which is, it's the intro and outro. And it's just, fun times and friends at Joe's. And then it's this vicious assault on Conan for four minutes. It's so vicious. The outro song.

It's just so vicious. And you're like this stealth weapon. You're this patron in the last stool at the back of the bar who comes in and just demolishes him at the end. Brutal. Those really make me laugh. Those are really funny. Here's some characters. I'm sorry. Stop me at any time.

The last undecided voter, Jesus. Untreatable gonorrhea dancer. No recollection. Okay. But itable gonorrhea dancer. See, no recollection. Okay. But it sounds like something I would. Yeah. It sounds, douchebag. In your wheelhouse.

Douchebag state student. That's the guy, that's the picture that hangs up in the lobby. Oh, that really? That was Grandpa Douchebag, the founder of Douchebag University. Oh, now see, okay. Member of, shh. I don't know what that is. No.

That should be, I mean, I was, but. Member of Sh... I don't know what that is. No. No. That should be... I mean, I was, but that bit shouldn't be remembered. Okay. How about this? Man with nightclub in pants. The nightclub was in your pants? It was in his pants.

I believe that was something I wrote, and the nightclub was in LaBamba's pants. Oh, okay. Pretty sure. Goddammit, this is... We need to write to IMDB. We have to correct all this and ladies the nightclub is in the pants were you um because i mean they're writers of all styles but were you somebody who

wrote uh better when you were kind of pitching a character that you were going to play? Or do you feel like? I'll tell you this. When I first started, like, God bless Conan for bringing me in. And then I think for a lot of us, the patience, because he is a phenomenal writer, and he had such a phenomenal writing background prior to that. And he was, you know, I watched him for 17 years just at rehearsal, take a script, and within 30 seconds, edit it and whatever and rearrange it with a scalpel. Right. And just like, oh, like when I first started, I would say for first couple of years, I could not write for anybody else's voice except my own.

And so like God bless that there was a chance to do stuff for yourself. I could come up with jokes for desk pieces and stuff like that. But to really put stuff in Conan's voice or even a different character's voice was a real challenge. And I remember giving myself an assignment one year, after a year and a half or two years, where I'm just like, do not write anything for yourself. Just take six months and only write for other people and only write for Conan. Yeah, really intentional. And that was the beginning of really me. I felt like my grad school for comedy writing started there.

And that's when I started using Mio a lot, that Asian guy and stuff. I found people that I could write for and Joel and stuff like that and some guys in the band. But then it was a challenge. It was intimidating to try to write or put words in Conan's mouth that weren't just straight man. Oh, super hard. Super hard. But occasionally it would work.

Yes. Like you would see something and be like, oh, great. Like I get to say this. And get the big laugh. Right. And that always felt good. And that became, I think, an ongoing challenge to me. And I just am so thankful that I was paid during that whole process.

I felt I was always producing and always supplying the show with stuff. But I know that they were also being very patient with me too because if i were a host if i had a show i would want a team of people who had my voice right locked right and then if there was anything left and they wanted to dilly-dally around with big ears and preparation right right god bless them but on their own time on their own time but i would want you know 15 people who can all write hilarious things for me to say and do but i i guess so but i think maybe it was also just such a volume business and it's like if you had something really funny and it was

for yourself it's like all right this takes care of four minutes in the middle of the show right well no there were those spots which is that the middle of the show check so that's great there were those spots which is what I was so thankful for and that's why there's that list that I don't even remember

like who those people are but because I was I mean like as you said like in the in the room like

I can come up with anything to fill four minutes right but rarely is it well written with three different strong strong characters right right right i mean it is now of course yeah now the scribe is just every muse is in my head with pen and paper one of my favorite late night um panic situations i i don't know i remember this one because there's so many of them where it was 9 p.m., we'd eaten dinner, and it's like we need something for tomorrow, and we're all just sitting there staring at each other.

But this one I always remember. It seems extra dire to me in my head. And we're all sitting there, and it's 9 o'clock. I think it was like 9, 12 p.m., and you came in with the kayak guy idea. I don't know if you had seen that footage of a guy going down a mountain, a snowy mountain. I had never seen someone kayaking down a mountain before. No, none of us had. I had just seen it, yeah.

And that was one of those times where it's just like, I have something. Yeah, so you were just like, oh, I'm going to be a guy who runs, gets mad, runs up the stairs, and then I'll get in a kayak and then cut. It was fully formed like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's why I remember it, because you came in, pitched that, and then showed the clip, which, and it was like, it was a two-minute meeting it was like yes savior you all put him on your shoulder and then that i i don't even know how many times i was on but it was so fun quite a few they were very funny they did in chicago yeah where in a giant chicago the chicago theater so oh the whole bit is you literally have to run well in 6a you had to run back upstairs or no you had to run

down and get back back come in the side door yeah i mean whereas in chicago i guess you had to run down it's really i think mostly fun for the live audience. Yes. Because they're realizing the amount of distance that has to be covered. The physical exertion involved. Yeah. And the Chicago theater was like six flights of stairs. And I think running outside on the sidewalk and security holding doors and stuff like that, which was really fun.

I think if you were watching it, you'd get it because you would be exhausted so all of that was happening live it wasn't a pre-tape it was all live wow because that's it i mean that's a lot to film too and hope that everything goes right right i don't know if we ever pulled it up like in afterwards like if you got way late in the hallway or something. I don't know. I think kind of the, it was kind of fun to watch Conan spread, like just talk and talk, waiting for you to come in. That was part of it. Well, because then it started involving, like there was one I know, like where I came back in dressed as a woman, like there was costume changes.

Okay. There's one I came back in. On a bike? Just pretending to be a woman. There was costume changes. Okay. There's one where I came back in. On a bike? Just pretending to be a woman. I don't know. And then he was like, I know that's you. Oh, boy.

And then the woman ran up and jumped. Right, right. Bungie jumped off of her. Yeah. Well, we'll have to put those on. Yeah. Please. Yeah.

Those, Joe's Pub. Joe's Pub, definitely. Party in the trousers. But not the gonorrhea dancer i'm curious the gonorrhea dancer sounds potentially was it curable gonorrhea no i don't remember no i wish there was such a thing gonorrhea was curable are there super strains probably yeah i think there is a super gonorrhea now. That's more popular again because As a resurgence. Yeah, because kids this generation of kids grew up not

caring because so many STDs kind of got eradicated. Right, right, right. That's for another time. Well, I think now, and then there's this next generation as they look and they're like, oh, the planet's not even going to be here by the time I'm ready for ARP. So I think there's going to be all.

They give me all the STDs. Yeah. Everyone, I think it's going to be just bragging rights how many STDs you got. Yeah. And then you tattoo them all on your arm. Talk about a nightclub in your pants. It's going to be amazing. Nightclub of bacteria.

Various viruses. That's one for someone out there. Bacteria nightclub of bacteria. Various viruses. That's one for someone out there. Bacteria nightclub. Right. Or we cut this. No. Bacteria nightclub. Yes, Jesse.

Brian, you have, it's a little bit of a rare distinction of having been on Late Night, The Tonight Show, and then also Conan at TBS. Is it rare? I don't know if that's rare. Is it not that rare? I don't think there are that many. I'm talking to someone who has done it. No, I know. Conan has been on all three.

Okay. Andy Richter. Andy Richter. All right. No, no, no. Brian Kiley. Four people. Okay.

Brian Stack. Brian Stack. Michael Gordon. All right. You're right. That was a terrible question. Your turn. Michael Gordon. All right, you're right. That was a terrible question. Your turn, Swedes. You ask something. Co-hosts are turning on each other.

No, you ask. I'm busy on IMDb reading names off a list. That's really creative. But yeah, so where are we going? No, I just, you know, I mean,

I think that that, you were along for the, the crazy years. I felt lucky because I always think the most fun is the beginning of a show where you're figuring it out. And each of those shows had, I feel like I came in early enough with Late Night where it was still,

there were still eight minute comedy bits. Right. So there was still a lot of growth and learning to happen there. And then The Tonight Show, what a learning experience. It was a learning experience. Amazing.

You all grew a lot. I'm not sure what we learned. No, that was quite an experience. We learned not to move somewhere for a job. Oh, man. Yeah. We all packed up and moved 3,000 miles to hang out for a few months. I bought a house.

I rented some house out in Simi Valley. Oh, smart. You knew. house out in Simi Valley. Oh, smart. You knew. Yep. I'm the smart one. You were like, hey, you know what? I don't know if Simi Valley tells me smart. I don't know.

There's a long commute. And what did you do during the time between Tonight Show and TBS? That's a good question. Well, I was working with Dana Carvey, which was a great thrill. And a great just like use of different mental muscles kind of thing. But he was doing a sketch show pilot for Fox with Spike Ferriston. And it was Dana, Michael Gordon. Right. And myself and Spike basically writing a sketch show.

Oh, cool. Fun. Yeah, for a couple months. And it was awesome. I remember Gordon was talking about that recently, Michael Gordon. Yeah. And he said, you guys did that. And then you also wrote a sitcom pilot together. That's which i didn't know what happened to it it's just out there in

that giant showbiz dumpster did it did you ever pitch it to anybody or well the the pilot was like sort of bankrolled already it was was Tom Warner of Carsey Warner. He had this idea that Dana could be, and this is prior to what we know now, but could be the next Cosby. You know, like America's dad. It could still happen. Right, right, right. Yeah, it still could happen. No, but, you know, he had this idea, and it's not a bad idea because Dana's incredibly lovable and funny. So, it was sort of a family-style sitcom, but not too broad, but just really featuring Dana.

And it was really fun, really funny. And I remember at the read-through at Tom Warner's house, Ed Asner played Dana's dad. Oh, wow. I think. And it was all funny. But then I think Dana ultimately didn't really want to do it. I remember him, like, as we were writing it, he was just like, couldn't we just do one of those shows where you got, like, five episodes? Like, this would be 20-some a year.

And like, I don't know if I want to do that. He's got a great situation where he Yeah. Yeah. doesn't need to need to work more. Right.

Yeah. That always sounds good. He can do like five stand-up gigs a year and feel more than Wow. Low overhead. That's great.

He's so damn funny. He's hilarious. Conor's been doing I don't know what the project is, but I think they're banking some podcast episodes that they're doing together. Oh, are they improvising? Okay. Oh, that'd be great. They maybe tease that on the podcast.

Conan's just like, after he's just like, it was so funny, so funny. And he can't stop trying to do all his bits no so that was like between the Tonight Show and the TBS show

right I was just going to work with Dana every day and it's just such a man crush I was just like every day I was just

I was just full like top to bottom laughter wow and just like it would always sometimes be the same thing every day it would just be like his uh oh what's the guy's name the guy who used to host with kathy lee

regis oh does he do it he's constantly doing regis oh that's gonna be like here's regis doing push-ups and it was just like like the fact that it was just him doing regis which yeah i knew no one would want to see, which was also funny to me. Just, like, his commitment to just always pushing Regis. But also, like, once he knows he's got your number, I could see him just, whenever he wants to make you laugh, it's like, oh, I'll pull out a little reach. Which, and it's, that's always fun. Yeah, so that's how I spent that time which was great

yeah and then it was back to the treasury well then it was back to like helping sort of frame a new show

yeah which was always great yeah and on a new lot where there's new commissary oh yeah

new menu new specials every day new soups except for thanksgiving thursday i like i like warner brothers more universe well you know what that and we talk mentioned this that the sound stage on universal was way too big ridiculous way it was that classic thing of whoever made it, designed it, and was just like, well, you know, it's the Tonight Show. We got to go big. And it's like, no, that's the last thing. No one cares about it.

It sounds like it was for professional wrestling. It was just wide and just giant space that was not conducive to an intimate TV show. Yeah, not at all. Which is what you want. Right. And I think it was too much of, like, when you have that many people staring at you, I think it's, no, I think it's kind of, you feel this obligation to try to make,

how many ever, 600 people laugh. And it's, you know, the odds of 600 people all getting the same joke right are slim right whereas in a smaller room like there is kind of a a group mind that sort of easily gels that's true you know yeah and then everybody's on the same page you reach a tipping point and then everyone else has to laugh yeah i mean it's just like it's something that happens but in a room that's like that wide like there's just people that don't even hear the same parts of sentences and like there's whole factions that are there you know like big groups show up right yeah they have their own agenda and no matter what this part of the room is enjoying nope they, they just want to keep shouting at the band

or whatever. It's just not conducive to anything. I remember we all walked into it initially and we're just like, oh, no. And it's funny since we're, well, we'll make it work. If anyone

can make it work, we can make this giant airplane hangar work. Yeah. If anyone can make it work, we can make this giant airplane hangar work. Did you do characters on The Tonight Show, Brian? Not many, but we did some. I remember I was the one-man flash mob, and this speaks

to the enormity of that room. Yeah. I was a one-man flash mob, and it was just exhausting trying to work that room like as this one jackass right like i don't know trying to get a wave going but just with myself but like having to run section to section right and it was i was just out of breath and it was just one of those sweaty sweaty otherwise it would have killed in the small. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, it's true.

We just, and I, on our own, jettisoned all this stuff we did on late night. And it was kind of like, well, but it was weird. It was like we cherry-picked some things we brought along, but then a lot of things, bits that were super popular, we were like, oh, let's just try to come up with new stuff. Right. Yeah. were super popular we're like oh let's let's just try to come up with new stuff right yeah which i i think that maybe there was a lot of thinking or even overthinking about oh well you're on an hour earlier yeah do you have to you know well some of the stuff yeah yeah all that stuff are those people alive an hour exactly yeah that never made sense to me. Right. But there was a lot of network, like executive behavioral scientists.

Yes, exactly. And also- Focus group people. I think also this conventional wisdom of, yes, the audience at 1130 being very different from the audience at 1230. I think that went back years, that kind of, you know, well, Letterman was much more you know out there versus johnny so yeah i think carrying that through yeah like you were now having to our time appeal to centrists at the 11 30 that's true yeah now look at it anytime slot anything goes yeah yeah because no one watches TV on TV.

I wonder what they're doing with that space now. I wonder what it's used for. It's probably like a farmer's market on Saturday. Didn't Chelsea Handler use it after you guys did? Yeah. And Conan shot some shower scene with her, and I went over with him. And she had basically roped off, taken a 30-bed studio. Yeah, yeah.

And turned that into her studio. And the rest of it was just continued storage. Storage, yeah. I think I heard it's now divided up into different news studios. Oh, really? Oh, wow. That sounds, it's finally, it's a good match. But it was a good-looking building. Oh, from the outside. Oh, it's a good match. But it was a good looking building.

Oh, from the outside. It really was. It was built just for the show. Yeah. Wow. It was great proximity to the parking garage. That's important. On the few days it would rain, you wouldn't have to worry about getting too wet because it was really just about a 10 yard jaunt from garage to door.

And then off to Simi Valley. A quick two hour commute through traffic. Were you guys working? I mean, was it crazy hours again when the Tonight Show started? No, I swear. Or you were just 9 to 5? Literally something about leaving New York and transplanting to the land. I know the reason.

Like the, oh, okay, what? I think there was a legitimate reason, which was the show was now owned by Conoco as opposed to NBC or something. Right. And when they started seeing like, oh, if we keep people late and we have to buy dinner for everybody. Oh, my God. it's seeing like oh if we keep people late and we have to buy dinner for everybody oh my god so like let's let people leave before dinner you know is like legally due that rings that's great i believe that i think that's what happened that rings a bell which which made that like there was no benefit to no staying that was a bad i i mean you just hear about other shows where it's like well no we

pump all this stuff out and we're home to see our families and have dinner. It's like, wait a minute. We're all with rats. We're at the wrong show. But that worked for me because then everyone would be angry and tired. And then if I had any energy and put a box on my head, people would be like, yes, box on head. Let's go home. 10.30, let's do it.

Oh, no. New York was half the time we'd finish dinner at like 8 p.m. Yeah. You know, if dinner was delayed or something, you know. And it's like, all right, meeting in 20 minutes. Oh, that would have infuriated me. Oh, can you imagine? Yeah. You would not.

Oh, it was bad. I'd be like, get your shit together. Yeah. Start pitching. Yep. Yep. There's a lot of that, too. Oh, well.

No, we'd work on clutch cargos, and those would go late, remember? Oh, yes. Because it would be off of news from that day. Yeah. So we'd start those at night and then bang out like i i would take notes and then i i just felt so guilty that everyone was there that i was like okay everyone just go and i'd kind of like slam it all into an awful first draft and send it off to robert smigel yeah in new jersey for him to check out early in the morning. And then everyone's back in early in the morning,

and we have to work on the second version. Ugh, all these insane rewrites all day. Crazy. But fun. I enjoy that sort of. It was fun, yeah. It was very exciting. I enjoy that schedule of just, I really do enjoy.

The hustle and bustle. Show has to start at five or whatever you're taping it. Yes. I really enjoy it because I think that really helps that time. Like these shows, late night shows, have that sort of just raw feel. That was one of the problems with the LA studio for The Tonight Show. It was just too polished. Yeah.

I do think these shows really get a little boost from everyone watching, knowing that it was all just. It's a little rinky-dink. Yeah. And it's thrown together, and this is what we could do in one day. Then it's done. It's impressive. It's like, wow, they pulled that off. Right.

I always thought of it like, oh, you're pulling out a daily newspaper, and it has to hit the newsstand. Yeah. you're pointing out a daily newspaper and it has to hit the newsstand and, and the rewrites for live sketches. And then you'd have to redistribute it and get it on the cue cards and then rehearse it again. And the crowd's waiting to come in. And it used to be, you get used to it after a while, but the first several months, it just, I sometimes I was like, I'm going to wet my pants. It's so terrifying.

Were there times where you had to hold the show? I mean, did it ever go late? Yes. And Conan and Jeff Ross, executive producer, would have none of it. And I was like, you know what's big? Yeah. The warm-up guy does another 10 minutes. But no, we started at 5.30.

Okay. The warm-up guy does another 10 minutes. But no, we started at 5.30. It was usually Clutch Cargo's, which were the talking lip scripts, which had a lot of bells and whistles in them and graphics. And we'd be rewriting them. The crowd would be out there. It would be bad. It would be bad. Rehearsing them in the control room as the crowd is out there. Yes.

You were hearing the Big Butts song. is out there. Yes. That's right. You were hearing the Big Butts song. I assume they didn't do that back then. That song had not come out yet. Otherwise, I'm sure it would be part of the warm-up. It didn't come out. Yeah, that warm-up didn't change since I left. You did the warm-up for...

I did it. Oh, yeah. But the band played the exact same thing. It was just every night. 17 years in a row as far as I know. What was your warm-up style? Very just let's talk to the crowd. I had a couple set gig jokes here and there, but it was mostly just crowd work.

Yeah. It was my style. I would sort of begin flailing if I had to do more than 20. Because there was the unusual. 20 seems like plenty. Yeah, 20 is a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would usually have a- Did you whip out preparation each?

No, I would never allude to, Hi folks, you know me. Yes, it's really me. Regonaria guy. No, it was just all welcoming people to the show. My very first warm-up I ever did was for the HBO, the very first HBO comedy festival, which was in Aspen or something. I was a stand-up bat.

And I got asked to do the warm-up for the Young Comedians televised special hosted by Gary Shandling. And so there was a version of it that they did at like 5, and then there was the actual live thing going out at 8, and I was the warm-up for both of those. And I did the 5 o'clock one, and I had never done a warm-up ever, and no one had spoken to me about anything like how to do warm-up or anything. Just like, just do it.

Just go out there and do your thing. So, I went out there and did my act, basically, and people were just, like, still milling down the aisles and sitting, and no one was listening. And there were, I mean, maybe a couple people. And then I remember, like, I go backstage, and I and I'm like, I don't know how that went. I honestly don't know what to expect. And then Gary Shandling comes back and goes up to his producer, Jeff Cesario, and he's like, who the fuck warmed up this crowd? It's like, it is death out there. Oh, my God.

And then Jeff Cesario is so cool. He's like, you know. He didn't say it was this guy. Yeah, yeah. He's just like, don't worry, Gary. Don't worry. This is a great crowd. I'll go say hi real quick. know. He didn't say it was this guy. Yeah, yeah. He's just like, don't worry, Gary. Don't worry. This is a great crowd. I'll go say hi real quick.

Yeah. But don't worry. And then Jeff Cesario pulled me aside. And he's like, let me just give you a quick rundown of things you should do with warm-up. Oh. Just make people feel welcome. They've come a long way. Let them know that you're shooting.

Let them know that there's a booth. There's a director in somewhere. And let's test out the mics and all that kind of stuff. So, like, he sat me down and gave me. It would have been nice to hear that before you went in. Yeah. It would have. It would have.

But I understand. Oh, now you tell me. Yeah. Yeah. But then the second, you know, I did it. Like, I was amazed they let me do it. Right. For the actual special.

But they did. And that was far better. But that was, like, my only learning and then like sweeney was doing warm-up at conan and then when he became head writer i got to do it yeah and i felt like i had at least i always have those jeff cesario lessons in my head and then just you know some crowd work fun stuff some shows like some warm-ups like you wish you had tapes of because you're like that was amazing and other ones you know just like here you go conan have a great show would you ever i there were times i'd be doing the warm-up and i if i had written something that was on the show

that night and i i always i was just like oh the crowd wasn't good. I'm like, oh, it's going to bomb. Yeah. Like, I would never preview that the bit wasn't going to do well. Yeah. We talked to Jimmy Pardo about lying to Conan about bad crowds. Right. Did you have to do that? I never lied to him. Oh.

But, like, it was never, like, he never wanted to hear the truth. Never would. He never did. But, like, it was hear the truth. Never would. He never did. But, like, I. Yeah. It was a tough. That was a tough call. I found it to be a tough call whether to just go, they're great, you'll be great, or go. I didn't because, like, if he said, they're great, you'll be great.

Two seconds later, he's going to know that's not true. Or he's going to be like, why were they great for Brian and not for me? Right. And so, I would always say great for Brian and not for me? Right. And so I would always say it's a little tough. Right, right. Yeah. No, but I meant, to me it was a judgment call where sometimes I felt like they were on the fence. Right.

Like, oh, maybe, I think maybe they could care less about me, but they're going to be happy to see him. Sure. So I don't want to get in his head. Right. Those few scenarios when it's like that. But I remember times where he'd be like, how's it going? And I'd be like, you know, it's a tough one today. Just his face sinking.

I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do the show. Yeah. What do you want me to do? Right. I'm sorry. You asked. I did my sea material out there and no one was buying it.

Now it's your turn. Well, just like every once in a while with NBC especially, I felt there were certain nights where the audience was a lot of people from the NBC tour. Yeah. And had not, like, the real crowds, the best crowds, are the ones that have, like, ordered tickets. Right. And maybe made trips and everything like that. And I do feel like there was a certain nights where, however it works, that audience was filled just with people like, oh, and now the NBC tour,

we're going to get to go watch Conan taping. And not knowing the show. Right. And you could sense that right away. You'd be like, oh, this crowd is 90% people who aren't fans. Right. But are happy to watch a show get taped. Right.

But do not know how to play the game of the show. Right, right, right. And don't know the limits of what an audience for our show kind of does. Right, right, right. And so, I mean, that's solely, I think it was those nights where I would be like, I think we got kind of a tour crowd. Touries, yeah. The best crowds, I always thought it was during college breaks. Oh, yeah.

You'd get, you'd be packed. Just hardcore fans. And all summer, I'd be like, oh, this is fantastic. And then you could tell when they went back to school. I remember that late January, all the college students went back to school. And I'm like, oh, boy. Yeah. February is going to be rough.

Yeah. February was a very rough month. Yeah. And even if you'd be like, how many people I watch this show all the time? And you'd get a smatter and you'd be like, oh, no. Don't be shy. No, and then for those crowds, I remember I'd be like, whatever. Be like, well, let me give you a little.

Here's what we do. We got a bear that masturbates, so watch out for that. We got this and that. Right, right, right. But it was just weird. People would be like, oh, okay. But it was a real. People would be like, oh, okay. But it was a real drop off.

Yeah. It would be dramatic. It would literally be almost overnight. Yeah. Very dramatic. Which is, if you've ever done warm up or stand up or anything, such a different feeling to go out there and have people excited to be there versus just people who are curious to be there. Yeah, no.

And as soon as you go out there and the overall, like, welcome, even for a warm-up person, is just one of just polite. Yeah. Yeah, you instantly know, like, okay. Oh, you know immediately. Immediately. Get me out of here. Right. I know there's certain cliches like, oh, the crowd's never wrong or it's never the crowd.

But a lot of times, there are. Okay, yes, I accept that notion. But within, there are gradations. Absolutely. No question. Every night. But that's when I would just kind of signal to Steve Hollander, our stage manager, like, get the band out here. Because everybody likes a live band.

Yeah. Playing the hits. Everyone knows how to clap. Right. And it's just like, I'm going to do nothing but damage. The logger, there's a leak in the roof.

Well, and so Brian, you left Conan sometime between 2011 and 2014. We're not sure. Right. But what did you go on to do then? Well, as is the way I run my life i had no game plan but you just knew you had to get out of there well i had to get out because i was flying back to new york on weekends because my family my daughter oh my whole life was here

so it was ridiculous oh yeah that's you were commuting and was it every other weekend it was every other weekend that's wow but then there were commuting. Oh, my God. And was it every other weekend? It was every other weekend. That's brutal. That's really brutal. But then there'd be like three weekends in a row where I'd go. I remember like flying back just to go to my daughter's piano recital and stuff. In New York. Yeah. Yeah, that's brutal. No, just brutal.

So I did that for three years. Oh, my God. And then went back and literally had no game plan. Fired my agent just because. You were ahead of the curve. I really was. No, but like, this is how stupid I am. Like, fired my agent because I thought the honorable thing to do would be get rid of your agent and then begin looking for a new agent.

I wasn't like, I got this other guy. Like, it's a romantic relationship. Yeah. I was just like, it's honorable. Like, I wasn't like, I got this other guy. Like, it's a romantic relationship. Yeah. I was just like, it's honorable. Like, I know this isn't going to work for me. So, I got rid of my agent. And then I was just like, oh, I'm so dumb. I'm so dumb.

What am I doing? Now everyone thinks I'm just a, yeah. No. And then just really it was a whole new just re-entry into New York show production. Like a whole world that I had been completely isolated from because Conan, you are totally in a bubble. You have no idea how any other shows are produced or what even like the business model is of all these shows. Yeah, that's tough. And then you only have this small pool of people that you know in the business.

And so even networking is hard. Especially in New York. I had nobody. But luckily, like, there was all these young people coming up doing shows who were fans of Conan and who recognized me. So I had many opportunities to come in. And so I ended up, like, first started as a head writer for an MTV show. And then I became, like like ran a couple shows right great and then i became like a producer on another show and then i don't know just like a bunch of

things that which is another thing you're very like protected from from conan because it's a long-running show i've just been like in that world of like, oh no, most TV shows last. Right. Oh, a few weeks. Yeah. A few weeks or a year or, you know, like this is like weird,

like so many, like the whole staff happy, like we've been here six months. This is like, now we know what it feels like. And I'd be like, oh my God. But that's kind of the reality.

That's the norm. It's the freelancing. And then Conan is the weird version. Yeah. But through that just met, like, I will say without any, like, falseness, like, 100% happy with the choice of coming back and doing what I'm doing. So, it's been incredible. Yeah. Meeting a ton of great people.

Like, I do enjoy the chance to work on all sorts of different kinds of shows. Like just did a show for Netflix for kids last year, which was so fun. People love that. Did Andrew Daly work on that? Yeah. Oh, wow. Andy Daly was the head moron of the kids' show, which was really fun. It wasn't successful globally, and that's what it has to be for Netflix.

But the Americans loved it. Yeah, people love that show. Yeah. And then you also did that really great people raved about the debate show. That was on CISO, and I don't even know if you can even see it anymore because CISO doesn't exist. But that show, I was so proud of, so funny. People, I really love about it. And I got that just to toot my own horn.

Got selected, like, as the New York Times, they were listing the best shows of the year. And they're like, this would have been our favorite, but it was only six episodes, and it's tied to the election, so we can't include. Which we're trying to forget about. But it was, that show, it's tied to the election so we can't include which we're trying to forget about but it was yeah that show is called debate wars it's like six episodes and then hosted by mike lee and black and that is it's just so funny do you think that could come back i know i mean we've got one coming well i think that show like to me does not have to be election year tight i think that could be just a hilarious weekly just show it is just it was so funny that's one of those few things i've done like every time i watched that i was crying

laughing which is wow i wonder if it is somewhere people can watch it yeah was it super probably super topical i'm guessing no no no no because it was okay it was that's why I think it could, like when we were doing it, I was like, oh, this is, you know, like Whose Line Is It Anyway became like a show that was on every night at six o'clock. Yeah. Syndicated. Yeah. I was like, oh, debate wars could totally be that.

Because it's just, it's comedians debating like, what's better, pie or cake? Right. Or, you know, rugs or hardugs or that could be on msnbc no it's just like and it was just like these really like in-depth sort of logical arguments yeah i love that yeah and it was just so funny yeah and like we you know and the the stand-ups like if it were a show that were long-running, like, everybody, I think, would want to play ball at some point. But this was, you know, we were getting the stand-ups who were available who I had not even heard of everybody, and they were just killing me. Wow.

Oh, that's great. That's great. And Mike Lee in Black was just this snide host, and he was great. He was perfect. He wouldn't like need to rehearse he just wanted it to be very

like in the moment and then like you know I worked with a lot of people at UCB doing the ASCOT show so I would bring

them in to do bits and stuff so it was all just that was really fun are you still doing ASCOT a lot oh yeah

I haven't since my son was born. Like, after he was born, which was like two years ago, I was still doing ASCAP. And then it was one of those nights where I'm on stage. It's not a great reason to ask to leave a new baby. Right. No. And I was just like.

Can't you lie? No. And I knew it was a bad time to leave to go do a show. I don't know. And it was just one of those things where you find yourself on stage, and it's just like, what am I doing? Right. I'm always welcome, but I don't need to pretend I'm 20.

I could see that. Or you're backstage. There's a delay, and it's like, what? Yeah. Everyone's drinking red cups around you. I should be asleep. Because I'm going to be awoken at four. No, so that was just, I love ASCOT so much, but I do not do it right now.

Nor probably in the future. I don't know. Well, so, I mean, where could people find your work, I guess, on? Well, here's what I'm doing. Yeah. people find your work, I guess. Well, here's what I'm doing. Give us your address. I have since working on this Netflix kid show. I'm writing a trilogy of books for, and I'm not even sure the age range of kids,

but like just funny books. And it's this trilogy and it's going to be with Penguin. Cool. And the first one comes out next February. Oh, congrats. Yeah great yeah thanks so it's a trilogy yeah but what what age is it geared toward well i it's i think it's really geared for parents to read to like six to ten year olds or it's really like so it's geared towards adults as well it's well it's i tried to write it in my head in the voice, like if Christopher Walken were reading you a story.

Yeah. And so it's just like this sort of narrator voice sort of telling this tale, or series of tales kind of thing. And it's... They're all like... It's all based on how dumb animals are compared to humans. Because I was like, you can't make fun of anybody anymore because everyone's so sensitive.

Like, who can you make fun of? I'm like, animals. And so it's just a real. Just the male ones. PETA's going to come after you. Right. Wow. But it's a real just let's look down at animals together. Yeah. That's a great idea. Yeah, that sounds fun. Yeah. So it's just, it's a real just, let's look down at animals together.

Yeah. That's a great idea. Yeah, that sounds fun. Yeah, so it's fun. And it's, do you know what the other two are going to be yet or are you just one,

let me get the first one? I know what the second one is. Second one's done and then the third one is just, I know what it, where it takes place and what it's about,

but I don't have, no, that one's, that one's a ways off from even being started. Wow. Does it have a title yet? The first one's called Wannabe Farms. So it's just all these animals that want to be something,

like they just see what the humans are doing and they try to do it themselves. Right. Oh, that's great. Yeah. That's exciting. Yeah, you've been so productive. Yeah. I'm very excited for those. Very, that's great. Yeah. That's exciting. Yeah, you've been so productive. Yeah. I'm very excited for those.

Very, very. Cool. Maybe it'll be a book tour or something. Oh, my God, yeah. Do it at farms. And have Christopher Walken read the audio book. Oh, that would be the dream. Or you as Christopher Walken.

That's a great idea. I want Christopher Walken. Yeah, yeah. Don't settle for less. Yeah, yeah. Don't settle for me jesus well brian mccann thank you so much thank you thank you yeah this is really lovely for me to finally meet you because i like your portrait every day when i come into work and she has to

hear about you all the time yeah you were talked about you, yeah. You are talked about. You are, in hushed tones. Reverent. Yes. Tones all the time. Well, let's cramp a douchebag. Thanks, Brian. Yeah, thanks. Thank you. Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast,

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