Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Colin Quinn Revisits His One-Sided Feud With Conan

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

Colin Quinn joins writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to discuss how a basketball game with Adam Sandler led to Colin’s early beef with Conan, the struggle of being spontaneous on television, and working at 30 Rock in the 1990’s.Watch Colin’s first Late Night appearance here.Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail]

And now it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hello and welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. We are your hosts. I'm Mike Sweeney. And you're Jesse Gaskell. You remembered. It's lovely to hear your voice. Oh. Yes.

How are you? It's so nice to see you again. It is nice to see you. We're in the same time zone. Yes. Welcome back. Thank you. To this time zone, Pacific time zone.

That's right. But you're going off again. I you. To this time zone, Pacific time zone. That's right. But you're going off again. I am. You're working out, you've been writing on a movie, which is super exciting. It is exciting, but it- I would think. You know what? It turns out movies take a really long time to make. They're laborious.

A lot longer than a daily TV show. Can I ask you, were you shocked? was it slower than even you would have imagined? It was. Yeah. Because there's a lot of, I mean, first of all, you do so many angles of everything. Camera angles. Camera angles. Yeah. So each person gets, you know, there's like a wide shot and then there's two shots and then there's closeupsups of everybody. And then there's a different over-the-shoulder close-up. And then there's, I mean, they look cool. Sure. But the cameras have to reposition every single time.

And so. The cameras move for all these different shots. Yes. And so you're waiting a lot while they, and they have a whole second team of stand-ins that come in when the cameras are repositioning. So each actor that look kind of like the actor, yeah, they're wearing like the same color. Right.

And they have a name tag. Yeah. So then they set up everything and that might take like 40 minutes or an hour. Wow. You always hear actors brag who do their own stunts, but I've never heard of an actor who's like, I do my own stand-ins.

Yeah, nobody wants that. I sit there for three hours. Yeah, I'm sorry. So each change takes around 45 minutes um yeah i mean it can yeah and so then people are kind of waiting and then you lose all your momentum and uh and then you have to get going again but then the actual you know the takes are kind of short like right so you might film for five minutes and then and get five minutes of tape and then right 45 more minutes of moving around and do they relight or i guess the lighting

would stay the same so that changes too yeah and that's amazing the lighting is really amazing i mean that's right it's so fun to watch people light things especially because we were a lot of the time we were on a sound stage, but it was supposed to be daytime. So you're replicating daytime or you're replicating nighttime, but it still has to look a little bit dark outside, but still light enough to see everybody. Right. It's just a thing that I noticed now and appreciate so much that someone can do that. Yes.

I've seen so many beautifully lit movies where everything else in the movie is terrible. Where I'm just like, well, this is a terrible scene, but it is beautifully lit. The moonlight shining down. Look at that blue sky coming through the curtain. Yes. I mean, yeah.

The blue night sky. Moonlight, right, exactly. Yeah, that movie Moonlight was mostly just about the moonlight. That's why it was a hit. People flocked to the lighting. Wow. So they changed lenses too, right? Like it's just so laborious. There's so many things. I'm assuming, yeah. I don't even know most of the stuff they're doing, but. Are there, you're probably not allowed to talk about this, but are there people in this crew that other people maybe feel are like too, being too much of a stickler and holding things up and then they start kind of, you know, passive aggressively sniping at them or it's. Do you ask that? Cause we would sometimes have that on Conan.

Yes, sometimes. Yeah. I felt like there would be, you know, there's like, and there's always the people who, uh, if, if it's a union job, like, it's like, you're not allowed to touch the chair. Only I can touch the chair, you know? Right. But it's really, well, so what's crazy, I mean, cause they film it so out of order and so the movies shot completely out of order. But, uh, so there's a script continuity person who is making sure that like, okay, well, we filmed this two weeks ago, but we have to make sure that that this looks exactly the same. Right. And then even from scene to scene, you know, people like actors are, you're, they're picking up a glass and you have to remember, oh no, the glass was in his left hand when he picked that up.

Right. And it has to be exactly the same every time. That's. And there was this much liquid in the glass, you know, so there's. Right. And so they're refilling with the same brown liquid. That's what, I don't know what's in the glasses all the time. But it does, I did notice that they are filling, that someone is being careful because it's always bothered me.

I don't know if you've noticed this. When you're watching a TV show or a movie and you can tell that someone has a careful because it's always bothered me. I don't know if you've noticed this when you're watching a TV show or a movie and you can tell that someone has a coffee cup or a mug and there's no, you can tell there's nothing in it. Like I can tell that the way that there's not enough weight, there's no way that they're holding it. I, you know what? I have not now I will only look for that.

I'll miss all these key plot points. Cause they'll be walking along the street in New York city or, you know, and they're flailing their coffee cup around. And I'm like, no, that would be just spilling everywhere. Maybe they don't want to litter. Like they finish their coffee. And it's empty. But they're waiting for a receptacle to throw it away. That's a lot of backstory.

I always notice, I don't notice empty coffee cups. I'm going to look for that. I just always notice dialogue editing where they'll kind of have someone talking, but they're kind of in profile. Yes. And you can tell it doesn't match. I notice that a lot too. And that they cheat, like they'll cheat half a phrase or something. But I just, I just from editing so much much, like, I just, I'm like,

ah, ha ha cheater. I know what you did there. No, I know. And that's because, you know, they're, they're getting those shots of over someone's shoulder, but then later they're, they're choosing different takes of something else. Right. So the, they just met, they slide the audio. Right. Yeah, Exactly. Yeah. And then they'll do a lot of ADR too, which is. ADR is when you dub in the lines, right? Yeah. They have someone record later.

Right. And then they slide that in. And so if you're careful, I mean, most movies you can see. Yes. Some version of this. And sometimes there's even like someone's mouth's not moving but they're saying something right right right but it's so quick the scene moves on so quickly you don't have time to really yeah they're just like ah fuck you but usually it's when there's a it's like from a wider shot or it's

they're behind and you hear a yeah and a lot and the adr line will be like an important plot point. You know, okay, this means they probably cut out a longer scene. Right, right. To save time, and they just squeezed it all in in one line. Right. It's fun to talk about your movies. And you were giving hints about where you were. Well, yeah, so I was giving hints about where I was. Yeah.

But now I'm going somewhere else, so I feel like I'm going to continue the game. Okay. Because next week, I'll be somewhere else. On I feel like I'm going to continue the game. Okay. Because next week I'll be somewhere else. On the same movie. On the same movie. But they're moving now to a different location. Yes. And a different time zone.

Yeah. They're just, I think, trying to screw up our podcast. That's the only reason they wrote a script, hired the crew, and are shooting the movie to screw with us. I respect that. Oh, that's exciting. So we'll start. So I won't reveal yet where I was because there's more to the game. But a lot of you have written in and people are guessing correctly.

Right. And you know what? I should do it too. I'm going to give hints about where I am. I'm near an Albertson's grocery store that they're always out of LaCroix Pamplemousse. That's the first. That probably does give a lot of information. It does. Because it tells you that there's heavy LaCroix usage.

Isle 11, right. But people don't like the more exotic flavors. Right. They're more classic. Oh, I thought Pamplemousse was exotic because I've never heard that word before. Oh no, Pamplemousse is like the original one, I think. It's the grapefruit one.

Why don't they just say grapefruit? What is... Because it's French. Oh, but it's an American brand. I know. Then it would be La Croix. Exactly. La Croix.

Yeah. Okay. I know. But they're appealing to people with European sensibilities. Okay. Well, so yes, you'll do... We'll each do hints about where we are. Okay.

I'm excited. We'll see who guesses, gets found out first. Well, hey, you want to introduce our guest? Yeah, we should introduce our guest. He's one of my favorite all-time people. I'll just say that. I love him. Me too.

Oh, yeah? And even more so after talking to him, actually. No, he's just... He was really fun to talk to. A lovable lug. He is... Oh, yeah. He's delightful to to talk to. A lovable lug. He is... Oh, yeah. He's delightful to hang out with.

It's Colin Quinn. Colin Quinn. Hilarious, smart, funny. Yeah. Oh, hilarious and funny. I guess those are synonyms. He's very quick. He's, you know, it's fun to try to keep up with him.

He was on Late Night almost 20 times over the entire run of the show. He started... His first appearance was in 1994. Right. And then his final appearance was over Zoom during the pandemic. So just the entire run of Conan's career. Yeah. Yeah. And he apparently had a grudge against Conan.

Yes, early on. I think that whole, yeah, very early on. It was fun to hear the origins of that. Oh, man. Yeah, it was fun to hear the origins of that oh man yeah it was fun to hear he's still not over it i mean he likes to he loves having faux grudge i don't know if they're faux maybe they are real grudges he wants you to think that they're faux yeah exactly so here's colin quinn hi guys hi you know we go back me and Mike go back to the 80s together.

We do. Oh, my God. Mike was still known, at least among the people that were around at that time, as the best MC of all time. Yeah. That means I remember, I pronounce people's names correctly. No. And I remembered their credits. No, no.

We mean. Yes, yes. correctly no and i remembered their credits no no we mean we yes yes he would work the crowd and it was always original always spontaneous yeah you know usually pretty erudite but it was so funny because these people were like you know half the audience was animals and mike would be like almost getting in these big brawls but he was always creative like people would watch him mc which not a lot of people do because it was never like i did this last night yeah it's always interesting you know and funny wow you're thinking of steve sweeney from boston but that's okay that's what shade colin what shade of white was

mike's hair in the 80s ah yeah i don't think mike had white hair i mean i can't remember mike's hair who knows it was all about my eruditeness yes well we did know each other back in the 80s and i think i saw kind of the first glimmer of you doing a one-man show that's right we were visiting a comedian mark raider out in long island do you remember this of course i the diving board. Yes. And he was such a great, a great guy, wonderfully funny, talented comic. We were hanging out in his pool in the backyard and you got up. Well, you, you tell it, you remember it. All I remember is I was on a diving board and I started doing this character stuff I was trying to work on. I was being mocked, ridiculed, degraded. Yes, you're right.

I forgot that part, but I remember. Oh, I remembered it till the day I died. You got, well, because we're all just goofing around in the pool. And then you get up on the diving board and start doing this mock eulogy. A monologue? Yeah, so we did a monologue for, you were like eulogizing a dead Irish guy named Jackie Ryan, right? And I think we were all just we weren't going to we weren't having it. No, no.

I can't really blame you when I look back. But, you know. Yeah. But that did become part of your first one man show, right? Yes, it did. Yeah. And you had to set up a diving board. People wondered why you did a one man show on a diving board in a theater. It made sense to me.

And you guys had to heckle him the whole time. That's right. I remember that show is called Sanctifying Grace. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I Googled it today. No, I remember. And now you're doing your eighth one man show, which is crazy. Wow. Yeah. a lot of those yeah you know i really in retrospect i wouldn't have called them one-man shows because i feel like right in the uh you know in the grand scheme of things one-man shows are looked down

upon in our field but at the same time as you know from doing stand-up you can't be thematic in stand-up without the crowd going hey you know what i mean like right they're aching for some dick joke at some point the comedy club yeah so that must be freeing i thought this podcast was all about our conan appearances sure yeah and do you guys put clips out of them or not we link to little easter eggs yeah why why does something occur to you that? No. Well, yes. There's one thing.

One time I was on Conan. Yes. So he's gone all the time, right? Yeah. Yeah. In the early days, I really did have a love-hate relationship with Conan, I'll be honest with you. I mean, I grew to, I've grown to love and appreciate, you know. Right.

The mastery of what he did. I mean, I really do. Right. But early on, he would, I felt like he was always taking the audience aside and sabotaging me in the middle of my bits. So I was on the one hand, I was like, okay, you want us to come on and not just do joke material, but then we associate if it's not killing, you're going to throw me. So I literally said that to him at the end of one segment.

I go, I'm sick of it. And this was to the credit of him and Jeff Ross and everybody else involved. It was left in the show. I go, you know what? I'm sick of this. Come on here. You want it to be spontaneous? Or do you want to be me? You can sell me out to the audience.

And he goes, I love you. Why do you hate me so much? You can find that one. And they left it on the air. He goes, why do you hate me so much? if you could find that one and they left it on the air he goes oh that's great why do you hate me so much that's great but you know i i think especially early on i mean i i don't want to talk for him but in the late this was like 97 or 98 or so i think you know comics coming on is probably more tense or fraught for him maybe to have comics on do you know what i mean just hoping like the give and take will go well and all that because you can

trick an audience but you the comics see right through you but yeah no i'm sure you know in general i wonder like sometimes i'm like with comics or whatever i mean look at norm all the time right right did you guys ever get norm on before we died? On this thing? It was his final wish to be on our show. I mean, really, those were the most viral videos when he died. Right. Yeah. Conan really understood the game. There's no one that does it like him, you know?

Yeah. It's funny. I remember early on you kind of being like, ah, saying what you just said. Yes. And I knew you and I knew him and I was like, these two, they're two of the funniest guys I know. They, they should just, they should love each other. So I'm serious. I, I, I grew to love him. Yeah. Yeah. And he, he loves you. So it all, it all worked out. Oh, did you have thoughts on Conan getting the job initially? I mean, that must've been news that you were following. No. Oh, did you have thoughts on Conan getting the job initially?

I mean, that must have been news that you were following. Well, because I knew, because Sandler worked with Conan and said, this guy's great. He was so funny, so great. So Sandler was the one that knew him pretty well from SNL. So I figured he'd be good. You know what I mean? I remember there were a few people at the time that were trying to be talk show hosts. Right. Kind of up for that job.

I just remember being out with comics at night that it was announced. I just remember a table of comics being livid that this new guy wasn't a comedian. And I, I remember being delighted because they all sounded like lawyers at a law firm. And it's like, how did he make partner? You know, and it's like, hey, man, it's showbiz. Yeah, you got to take the bar first. Right.

Yeah. Exactly. And it's like, no, no, no, it doesn't work that way. Right. No, we're very clannish, but everybody is. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. I think you first appeared in 1994.

Yes. That was my first appearance at Conan on the air. And you did panel right away. You never did. Yeah. You didn't do a lot of like conventional stand-up sets on late night shows. First time I was on the show, remember, I had a very brusque personality, which I thought was my thing, you know. But I think it could be a little bit startling to the audience back then, you know.

And the first time I went on Conan, I talked about a true resentment i did have against him the one time i had met him we played basketball in la me and sam the same introduced me to cone i was like oh and then he goes after the game he went over to the soda truck and brought back two sodas for him and sandler. So I brought that up as a breach of etiquette. So that's how we started. That was our first... That's how it began. Well, now I understand why you felt like there's a little... Because you

come on as a guest and attack him immediately. But in fairness to me, when three people meet, either buy yourself a soda or don't buy any soda. but in fairness to me, when three people meet, you know, either buy yourself a soda or don't buy any soda. Yeah.

Well, three soda. You don't ask, you don't tell the three people that kind of together, all these strangers and you buy you and your friend a soda and not the other guy. It's a little weird, especially since he's making good money at SNL. It wasn't like it was,

you know, yeah, it does seem passive aggressive. Like a real strange move. Yeah. I love that you're saying back then you had a brusque persona, like this wasn't you and your personal grudge. It was like, oh,

you know, for comic effect, I'll complain about this. It was a character, man. It was a character you were working on at the time. You were trying on different hats. Have you mellowed a lot, would you say? No, but I realized, I'd say I've mellowed in the sense that I realized

being that brusque was a bad strategic move, both to get my act across and in general. So, I mean, Mike, I mean mean you've known me a long time i wasn't really i mean i was kind of like that but i wasn't like on i was a friendly person yeah no it was always like with a twinkle in your eye no but it was all yeah you're just being funny so everyone yeah loved it it had an adverse effect on a lot of things in my career i think also my defense when i would get nervous like before me yeah i would definitely shut down a lot you know oh we all do that you never seem to shut down you seem to always you just start commenting on what

was happening right so i think that's why comics loved watching because you were kind of like annotating the set as you went. And if it wasn't going well, it was like there was a commentary track going the whole time, which was fantastic. It was always what every other comic would be thinking, but not saying out loud at the time. Yeah, that was my whole thing. The comedians loved me and the audience did not care for me most of the time. It wasn't like a big act. No, the audiences really liked you. I almost thought you enjoyed it.

You didn't kind of like it when you were having a hard time? Don't you think that kind of almost fed your, like, okay, here goes the running commentary, which is the part everyone likes anyway? No, because the audience didn't like that part. Only the comedians liked it. Yeah. And I couldn't figure out, you don't understand,

I went up every night pretending to kill with the audience. Right. I wasn't trying to work for the comedians, but I only worked for the comedians. Those are the important people anyway. It is. In the long run,

I'm glad that I have the respect of my peers. Yeah. I mean, but at the time my intention was to kill with that audience. Right. But even having six comics in the back laughing, that's enough to like, okay,

I'm going to just play to the, like, it's better than nothing. The worst. Something's working. Yeah. When you're bombing and the comics are staring at you. Yeah, that's true.

Oh boy. So you were mostly coming on. I mean, I think exclusively coming on Conan to do couch appearances. How much were those written in advance? I mean, what were, what were you doing to prepare for those? I would write material. So sometimes I go on and do material and it would do well. But somewhere during the thing we would always get into this little

bickering debate, me and Conan. And then it would just go off the rails almost every time. At some point you must have thought, well, this is our thing now. So I'll write, you know, I can write a few things and then now I know it's going to go somewhere. I never thought about it that way. I always thought, I'm going to go on,

I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. But anytime this but that's the way me and I feel like a lot of comedians all where it's like because Conan's not just giving you by rote answers because he's kind of saying these thought provoking things. So then that makes you want to answer him without being by road either so that's the beauty of the show is it was never dumb and it was never just you know it was never a cliche because he doesn't think that way yeah that's true so he wasn't just saying oh how nice yeah well that sounds like a great party it always went some way interesting you know what i mean yeah i yeah i watched one clip where i i did conan said something like well this was a train wreck or something. You're like, oh, you did great. You got your laughs. What do you care?

But you two were like, like Irish cousins kind of competing at a party or something. It was pretty funny. You just locked right into that, which, yeah, it's kind of compelling to watch. And you can tell a lot of it's ad-libbed. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but that's the beauty of the show yeah who wants to be on another show where there's no room for that i mean what's

the point of watching these shows if you can't have some kind of phone people have pre-associated you know yeah well at a certain point in your career that must feel nice to have that challenge at least of okay i don't know what's coming next so i'm gonna have to stay on my toes i can't just phone this in absolutely i mean that's why those known things are so popular is because he'd go on there and just be like, um, you know, whatever Conan has to be like, it reminds me of this and just go into his own thing. Yeah. Oh, somebody brought up. Yeah. I think Frank Smiley, Frank Smiley, who I assume you worked with. Yeah. And Frank's great.

But I think Frank said that Norm said, you know, one of the clips that was, has been really popular is Norm telling that long, um, shaggy dog moth joke story. You know, yeah.

And according to Frank, he said, Norm said he got that joke from you. Yeah, he did. It was not my joke, obviously. Right, right, right. But yeah, he came to Frank, he said, Norm said he got that joke from you. Yeah, he did. It was not my joke, obviously. Right, right, right. But yeah, he came to me.

He was going on doing some gig or something. And he goes, I got to go on Conan tomorrow. I need a joke. Right. So I told him the Moth Joke. The Moth Joke is literally 30 seconds long. The way I told him. It's 30 seconds.

And then he goes oh all right that's good you know and he went on there and it became this giant it was russian novel yes yes that's what else is great about conan is that he knew to say it's a russian novel right yeah it's gonna be like what stop right you know i mean like yeah this isn't how the joke goes. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It was great. And he made it into this whole thing, but yeah, I told him that joke, but it wasn't my, you know, it was a joke joke. Well, Conan always said he loved when comedians were on and also comedians who had material because I mean, obviously for him, it's like, okay, I don't have to work real hard. Right. And also, I think he just appreciated people actually doing some preparation.

Because he said some people would come on, and people with comedy background, with zero prep. And, you know, it would be really hard. Yeah. It would be a slog. And, you know, I think he'd be shocked that some people thought you could just show up and and hey, you know, we're too funny, guys. It's going to be great, you know, without even giving it any thought beforehand. The worst. That's what's great in stand up comedy and on shows like that is the live audience is great because they put you right in your place.

If you think you're going to be this funny, which is too funny. The audience is not gonna laugh i love seeing it because you can tell people don't do the work and they think i'm funny it's like there's the audience they want to laugh they came to this taping they start waiting for this moment right bring it you know yeah colin you're one of the only hosts that also guests and i've always wondered how i mean what is that like to be because conan will go on other talk shows and stuff too and and that's just such a different you have to i think tell yourself okay this is someone else's show and i do kind of have to go along with what they're doing here yeah but i mean my show that doesn't count because those idiots

didn't think it was my show anyway they would just come on and just shut i wouldn't be i'd literally be going like wait wait wait and be yelling oh we're talking about tough crowd so you were never you never got to feel like you were in charge on your even on your own okay that became a thing after a while don't you think just like wasn't a plan but yeah yeah well when patrice in particular i mean all of them but patrice in particular was just somebody that you try dare anybody i defy anyone to be in charge when he's on the show when you're in a conversational setting yeah i defy anybody to be in charge of the conversation with patrice o'neill around ever yeah i'd like to see it happen.

Yeah. He was on Letterman one time, and in three minutes, it was his show, not Letterman. Right. He is a wild presence. And loud, and interesting, and compelling. So it was like everything he said was kind of like,

all right, like sometimes he'd be talking, I'm going to shut him up. And then I say, I just want to see where he's going with this,, I just want to see where he's going with this. Cause I just want to see if he can pull this off. Yeah. Right. Well, I'd shut up and, you know, it pissed off a lot of other guests because I would

just indulge him, you know? But I can't help. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I didn't know. I mean, I'm, I apologize. I didn't realize that you had had a version of your show on NBC initially. Three episodes.

Three episodes. Three episodes. But that was really how I, that was controlled. Then I was the host of those three. Those three. Those were the good times. But the 200 on Comedy Central. Yeah. But those three, I was the host.

They had to wait for me to speak. It was great. Well, three, that's insane. What, I mean, how, how do you only get to do three episodes? Cause I also was reading, it was like critics liked it. It was well reviewed. You know, I mean, it was, it was already going to be trouble. It was, it was going to be trouble.

You know, that's how it was with me. And I don't know. It's just how I am. Did you tell him that going into it? I got to warn you, it's going to be three and out. I had the best of intentions, but doesn't everybody? Yeah. Well, I'm glad you didn't let it get into your head then, you know, and you immediately had another show happening. So it wasn't like. I just heard something literally the last couple of days that I don't remember that you were offered the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and you. Well, Mike, you knew me back then.

I did. I was I wouldn't say narcissistic personality disorder, but I would say that whatever the thing right below that is. And so, like, when they opened the Tonight Show, I was like, yeah, I don't want to do the Tonight Show. That's corny. Like when he said Johnny would love you. I go, I don't want to do the Tonight Show. That's corny. Like when he said, Johnny, we'd love you. I go, he goes, just cut the cursing out. I go, Jim, don't, you know, don't tell me how to do it. I may curse.

Right. No, you can't curse. And I go, all right, then I'm not interested. You know, right. I want to be organic, you know, and he's laughing at me, like laughing in my face. I go, what's this kid? He doesn't understand. Because this is, remember, it's the late 80s.

Right. So I was like, I just felt like the Tonight Show is not. Right. No, I'm not waiting to be waved over to the couch like it's fucking 1950. You knew Late Night was going to be dying in 40 years anyway. I just thought it was so corny to be like oh I hope he invites me over It's like I mean I love Johnny Carson but I'm saying

I didn't idolize him I idolized like Richard Pryor and George Carlin Who both were on the show Not cursing of course but I didn't feel like Oh the Tonight Show I never even felt that way about Letterman Oh my goal is to do a Letterman It just made me sick the whole idea

Like hey i gotta get my five minutes together it's like get the get out of here that's not what i mean it just bugs me to this day it bugs me when people go hey i'm getting my set i'm like stop just don't work on it 50 just do it you know it loses the flavor you know right a lot of comics would be like yeah you know uh i'm doing this now but it's all about my sitcom and and you'd be like what are you talking about yeah oh like they've got a whole map laid out yes a whole map it's a map that you would have if you went into accounting or banking yes exactly but there's supposed to be moments of so i say not at the beginning of this whole thing

when mike started doing like the cello, the strip, anywhere he emceed, comedians would be watching because the joy is somebody trying to live in a moment and have a moment that's funny, that's real, you know? Yeah. That was what it was about. And can't help his career in any way. I think comics really... But it was a stepping stone

to this podcast yeah talk about a 40-year plan yeah but that's that's what you're trying to capture and sometimes you know these shows or the idea of this show is really important like i understand in the late 70s the tonight show could launch a career i get it this is 1988 or 89 so it was like fine but i'm not looking to like, be like, Hey, you know, and then you got me and I got seen by CBS for, you know, right, right, right. Yeah. Wait. So Macaulay just laughed at you. He just laughed. He goes, he goes, I'm offing, you know, it's so funny. Okay. You're not going to, you're turning down Johnny Carson. I go, well,

if that's what it comes to, you know, Jim, I like you. Jim, it's not you. It's John. That was my problem in showbiz, by the way. One of my problems is I always feel like I'm equal to everybody. So I think I'm equal to Johnny Carson. I remember, you know, big producers and stuff, and I'd be like, listen,

we'll do it my way, though. But you guys, they're like, no, no, you just walked into our place. We have millions of dollars. You don't fucking talk to us. We're doing you a favor. And I just never realized that. Were you running into, um, cause I'm assuming you had seen max weinberg at 30 rock because you were there uh when you were on snl were you kind of was there a lot of like running into people at 30 rock um were you kind of having crossover with late night and other ways there it was a much more

it was a much more like a family type thing like i would see every i'd see max at the gym i'd see everybody just around the building and even downstairs like in those restaurants it was just very right right yeah it was very parochial almost you know it was and a lot of times people from snl if they knew someone who was a guest would come down just hang out in the hallway so that So that way it was very laid back. Would you get last-minute calls? Oh yeah, because you were right there. Sometimes they'd be like, oh, we need a guest. Someone cancelled.

J-Lo cancelled. Let's get caught. It's Wednesday, so SNL hasn't gotten too insane yet this week. And I would always want to do that. Especially comedians, because you always have to do that. That was, especially comedians, because you always have some material anyway. Right.

And you just put together sort of as much of a set and you're going to be on a couch anyway and just go down and do it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I did a couple of stand-up sets there too. Oh, you did?

Oh, yeah. I bet I did four or five. Oh, wow. I wonder if Carson was watching them and going, what the fuck? What's wrong with this guy? Oh, man. That might have, maybe you were his white whale.

How are you going to get Quinn? That's why he retired. But even Letterman. I remember Letterman, people being like, Letterman show. And they're like, talking to you. And it's like, okay, calm down. You're fine. You're a five minute set right you have to like just you know

it's just so this is what we do right we're not supposed to care yeah yeah and and once you get into that relationship where they're like hey you know we we like you we're interested let's see another different five minutes like comics would drive themselves insane once they got into that letterman tonight show loop a little bit where yeah where they hadn't done the show yet but they were kind of being told oh yeah we're kind of interested in you oh we want to see you oh boy and then yes it would become their white whale And meanwhile Anti-climactic Because I worked with a couple of comics that had done Letterman They weren't even headlining the gig

It was some guy that was like Over the top screaming and yelling It doesn't make or break A career Too much focus on the act It's just Somebody gets on And I still see it happen sometimes

And they're in a suit and they got their five down And they're waiting and it's just then so somebody gets on and i still see it happen sometimes and they're in a suit and they got their five down and they're waiting it's just a little applause and i just hate applause anyway in comedy it's from day one it's the most sickening right oh it's a weird television thing it sucks tv um well colin i was wondering going back to when you would appear on late night because you mentioned uh that you know you you were you didn't want to be told what to do by producers what were the right conversations like with producers before you went on it would you be like okay this is what i want to talk about and they just say on your show yeah well, if there's one

person that likes to fight, it's Frank Smilett. Yes. We would have screaming matches, me and Frank, all the time. Seriously? Wow. Oh, yes. Absolutely. I mean, that's what I feel like I'm responsible for him marrying a girl

from Belfast. He's like, I want to keep this fight going at home. Getting this adrenaline going. We would ask him. He'll tell you. But he was great in that he understood like he was really in the comedy scene. So for me, I feel like we got along because he was, you know what I mean? Like he was always there.

So anytime you make a reference to something, like it would be a reference to somebody or something that would make me laugh you know so we right i feel like it was a good relationship in that way like right he wasn't a guy coming in cold going comedy is this like he's in the clubs all the time yeah i remember him from that yeah he wasn't a dummy he wasn't a guy that was like right hey this is what works in comedy like Like we spoke the same language, you know? Yes. And he was always in your corner. Yeah.

Like in the few clips I was watching, you could hear him laughing just because he's a very distinctive cackle. Yes. But he was laughing at like all your little tiny asides that, that most of the audience didn't eat. He was like right there loving it like i think he loved it more than than anybody yeah yeah no he was great to work with but although other uh people that do those shows like a lot of them i mean i was no easy person to work with now that i look

back but you know if they had the if they would tell you like that won't work with all crowd then i would just turn and go really. So is your crowd different from the 30 weeks I just did all over the country? Right. Where's the crowd from? Who are they? Right.

Yeah. Cause that would just drive me nuts. I'm like, if it works with here, why would you say our crowd? You know what I mean? Like, it's just,

Oh, like what an awful mindset to just think in monolithic terms like that. Like this is, this is what our viewer craves. Yep. I mean, how many times have you, when you do stand up, you're like, how's the crowd? And somebody you don't even think is that good goes, nah, they're bad. And you're like, yeah, they're bad for him. Right, right.

Yeah. When you go on in a lineup, like in a comedy club, makes such a big difference, especially if it is a bad crowd. If you know that going in, it's very liberating. It's very liberating. Otherwise, you assume it's you. I would always think like, oh, no, they loved everyone else. They hate me. But if you knew they hated everyone else, and then it's...

Yeah, does that happen when you're doing a late performance appearance where you're backstage and you're watching the show and you're like, oh, you know, or you're either watching monologue not do well or or even the previous guest? No, because just like you said, just the opposite. You think, yeah, I'm going to get him going. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the crowd's dead. You're like dead so far. Yeah. I'll wake them up yeah and sometimes you come on too strong like hey guys and they're like what do you mean like

well i used to do the warm-up for late night and i would like you know the crowds at 30 rock tended to be great but there were nights i wear i was, I don't know what's going on here, but this crowd is not good. And I'd have to go back and see Conan and he'd want to know. Oh, yeah. And I was always afraid. I'd always say they were good unless they were truly egregious. But sometimes I'd have stand-up friends who are going to be on. And while I was doing the warm-up, I'd be like, shit, this is like I'd feel bad for them friends who were going to be on. And while I was doing the warmup, I'd be like, shit, this is like,

I'd feel bad for them all an hour before they even went on. Cause I, Andy Kindler was going to be on one night and it was one of the worst crowds ever. And I was like, shh. And I remember he went on and he was having a rough time and he just pointed up at a man in the audience he goes that man hates me oh man it was so funny yeah oh no yeah of course andy what is it like out there now i mean because you've been doing you've been touring with your new show how do you feel like audiences are they excited to get to be out enjoying comedy right now? I mean, everyone's been wearing masks, but you know what I mean?

Like during the show, the last of the laughter is a little more muted, but it's been, yeah. I mean, it's great. Like I feel like people really like going out, you know, I feel like everyone's just so excited to be out. It's crazy. You know, touring with your one man show is, are there parts of the country you prefer doing it where you just like the audiences better or will you go anywhere? No, anyway, it's the same. I mean, to me, almost anywhere is the same now.

The country was different, but now everyone's the same, except politically, of course, because politically you can feel people like whenever you bring up anything political and my act is really, you know, I literally, you could not be more, you know, ambivalent about, I mean, my whole thing is that I feel like we live in two cults right now. Right. I feel like insanity.

And, but you can just see people like saying, where is this coming from? Not my cult. Right, right, right. Yeah.

Right. They can't believe you see both sides subjectively. It's like, what side is he really on? Yeah. Both sides is truly the worst thing you can be right now. But I think that's great about you. And it sounds like that's what this show's about, where you make sure you give it to both.

They're both insane. Yes, it's terrible. Yeah. Do you see people able to laugh at themselves in it? Well, to a degree, yes. Yeah. I mean, I would say

to a degree, yeah. I think people laugh a little bit begrudgingly, but if it's funny enough, they'll laugh, yeah. You know? Good. And my whole thing is,

part of my theme of my show is I want to be like a violent moderate party because moderates by nature nobody wants to be involved when you're wearing dockers and you know, it's corny. So I wanted to be

like a violent moderate party. Oh, did we say the name of it? It's called The Last Best Hope. The Last Best Hope. The Last Best Hope. And it's not ironic. You are claiming to be able to solve things it's a new persona he's trying to it's his latest persona i'm not ironic i'm so ironic

i i always felt when when i first met you i was like if you were born 100 years ago you'd be running tammany hall yeah because everyone just I know this sounds corny, but I remember starting out like comics, like Dennis Miller, all these comedians who, you know, you'd be dying to meet, just fell in love with you immediately. I would be like trying stuff out on you. And you had been doing comedy like six months. I've never seen anything like it.

It was crazy. It was unbelievable. Does any part of you want to go into politics would you run for office no but but yeah but mike is right i was called i was nicknamed the mayor many different times in my life mike shoemaker from uh snl used to call me because i walk around and um yeah i think i would have been perfect as a like a benign corrupt uh new york right you know yeah we want him to run for president he turned it down that it was meant well and just you know what i mean yeah right listen a lot of people say that that because i knew all those the descendants of tammany hall

you know all the irish laughs of that and they said that what happened was in the 60s when they got rid of corruption it also got rid of things being able to be done because right when you're dealing in the ideal of a society nothing you get done right interesting too so i don't know uh well well we should talk about the power broker oh you, you know what? I said, I read the entire book. I only read to page 900. You missed the best 400 pages. You know what? That's the truth.

That's a great book. I looked it up later at the end. They reveal this book. I mean, it's really indulgent to write a book. That's 1300 pages. I'm not, but I know we did all the research.

Come on. Conan will be very happy that we brought up Robert Caro on this podcast are there any other memories that we didn't cover or ask you about either it could be off screen too if you have any memories of Conan from that didn't happen on air

it was just such a different vibe from like nowadays like it just felt more like like I said, it was almost like you walked downstairs and we all part of the same family. So everybody just knew each other. It was such a smaller world show business, you know, back at 30 rock. I knew everybody on the show and you knew everybody on SNL.

And it was just, it felt so small and, and, and more fun, you know? Yeah. By the way, the other interesting thing about every time I'm on Conan is watching my weight balloon and come down. Only when I look at my weight differences, I go, oh, you were kind of insane in your life, weren't you? There's something mentally wrong with you.

That's the only way I can really, you know, I have actual proof that there's something wrong with me. We'll put together a montage of you growing larger and smaller. Oh, please don't. Well, you are really one of the only guests that was kind of there from the beginning to the very end. I mean, that's incredible. 1994 and then your last appearance was over Zoom during the pandemic. So you guys have one of the longest relationships. Yeah, I know.

I mean, it's amazing when you see all those people that were so big in the 90s. You're like, oh, my God, what happens to people, you know? Yeah. You figure everybody's going to be there, you know? Better to gain a little weight than just disappear completely. Well, thanks for doing this. Yeah. Thank you so much.

It's great. It's really great to meet you. Yeah. Jesse. Thank you. Good to meet you. Thank you, Colin Quinn. Thanks Colin. Nice seeing you again. Welcome back anytime. Absolutely. He's not listening to this. No, no way. Oh, and Hey, yeah. You who are listening. Yeah. If you enjoy the show, can we please ask you one more time to support us by rating Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast on iTunes, and leaving us a review. That would be really nice. Thank you. That would be nice. I've been going door to door and it's not going well.

Yes, I know. You've been through three pairs of sneakers. I pretend to be selling Girl Scout cookies and then I ask them to rate us on iTunes. I saw a poster in my neighborhood with your picture on it. Beware. She is not selling cookies. Yeah, I'm all over next door. She's seeking five stars in your neighborhood.

And we have a listener question? We do. Oh, there it is. Yeah, there it is. It's highlighted in salmon. Yes. I call it salmon. Hello.

On a recent episode, you mentioned audience warm-ups. Were there any serious problems at Conan with an audience or individuals in an audience? Parentheses, people who heckle, shout too much, or just who heckle shout too much or just need to be ejected or just need to be ejected. That's the least of it. People who need to be tased. That needed to be taken care of before, during, or after taping. Thanks, Kyle M. Thank you, Kyle M. I think that's a great question. It is a good question. Because there's so much stuff that happens, obviously obviously that you don't see on tv in between right commercials and all that um yeah well and there are so many fake audience members that are on our show that's

right that do get ejected but that's not real that's sketch comedy well that you know speaking of how we'd have a lot of fake characters in the audience, that would always be an issue with audience behavior. The people sitting around the fake audience member would often try to be like, Oh my God. Oh my God. They would just become super ham bones. Yeah. Once people know they're on camera, it's like they, I'm on camera. Just stare straight. You know, don't even look at the monitor. Just kind of be a good audience member to people hamming it up and then thinking it's their turn.

Yeah. Yeah. And then there was kind of the converse of that too, which is sometimes we'd have bits where we'd choose audience members. Right. And we'd want them. Real audience members. Yeah, you'd choose a real audience member and it would be like, I don't know, there was audience theme songs where we'd write songs about people in the audience. We'd go out before the show and see people waiting in the waiting area.

Yeah. And come back and write quick little ditties about them. He'd be like, oh, that guy's got a Hawaiian shirt and a crazy mustache. So now let's do some kind of Magnum PI thing about him. But sometimes people would, once they saw themselves on camera, they'd sort of freak out and then look really sad or look really nervous. And then the bit wouldn't work because it was like, oh, what are we picking on this sad person? It would just seem cruel. So then we started trying to pick people who seemed to have, they just were, you know, no self-consciousness. Yeah.

Yeah. Or we do a thing where we would like, I don't know if we've talked about this before, but we'd write something. Someone would be wearing a top hat in the audience waiting area. And then we'd write some, like they'd have a top hat and a monocle and then they'd come inside and take both of them off. And the show would start and be like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We wrote so much about your top hat and monocle. No, it'd be awful. And a lot of times they'd like, the show would have started and it's still on. And then they take it off during the monologue and you'd be like, motherfucker. Out of respect. So then after a while, I would like, you don't want to mess

with the audience at all. Do you know what I mean? You don't want to get in anyone's head. Yeah. You don't want to tell them that they're going to be on camera. Right. Yeah. But I remember once after that happened, I kind of went up to some guys, like we, we seated them on the aisle. And so I just kind of went up during the warmup. I was like, um, you know, I love your hat. Uh, I'd just be like, can you, can you just leave it on for the show? And they'd be like, okay. Yeah. A little suspicious, but I think they were a little suspicious. That's a pretty smooth way of doing it. Yeah. Were there ever problems with people heckling or, you know, needing to be told to stop? There was one time a heckler. It was back in New York. I think a politician was on. I don't know who it was. Like maybe it was someone like John McCain or I forget who,

but somebody in the middle of the interview started yelling stuff out and Conan was really funny. He just said, oh, and I, you know, I, the guy stood up and then they escorted him. It was really like one of our sketches. Security came or the pages escorted the guy out. And on his, while he's leaving, Conan was just like pretty clever heckling at a pre-taped television show. Just, you know, just enjoy not seeing yourself tonight on the show. Oh, yeah. And, you know, it came right out. Yeah. I mean, usually Conan loves when things go wrong in the studio, like fire alarms going off or smoke detector like one show we got a popcorn machine as a gift from somebody and it set off the smoke alarm and oh no or there's people or there's crew working on sets for like the next day sawing things it's like what's going on back but um i think this one

i don't know is is closer to the early days of the show. And I think the consensus was just like, oh, let's just take it out. Let's take it out. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, because he would, I mean, even at the very top of the show, especially towards the end, there was like a long period of, you know, people wooing and then he would kind of point out certain woos or isolate people or respond to hecklers. Yeah.

I mean, that's, that's a slippery slope. If you do, if you encourage certain behavior in an audience and then people are watching the show, they think, oh, they want me to do that. Yeah. Yeah. You know what the other weird thing is? The evolution of the standing ovation.

I know. Like in the 90s no one no one stood i mean in like 2018 and 19 it was it was happening every night and it was getting longer and longer right and then if if the audience didn't stand it was like oh god the world they could be as loud as possible but if they didn't all stand up it was just like oh my god it my God, it's over. It's over. Well, I was wondering psychologically,

what does that do to a person to have a standing ovation for you every single night? And people that a standing ovation that then ends in people chanting your name, like a dictator. And then you go home and everyone's like, Oh, it's you. Yeah.

They stand up to, yeah. To leave the room. Right. Exactly. But, but um i know that's and also a stanovation before you did anything yeah like just for existing yeah i know yeah well we'll have to we're still learning about the lasting effects of that that's right it's a it's one of those 40- experiments. Yeah. That's a great question though. Yes. Thank you, Kyle. I do think that the audience was such an integral part of

the show. Cause for me, once we, you know, when we had to start filming remotely during the pandemic, right. It, it really changed the show. And even when Conan and andy went to largo theater which was a fun advance from them being just at home over zoom but right there was no audience and so there was kind of this just vacuum of space because conan had to literally make he had four people to try to make laugh yeah and that was i think his barometer you need some, but you do need some sort of barometer. You need some other, it's hard to just literally do it in a vacuum, but that's. Yeah. Cause it's one thing if the audience isn't laughing, then you can at least comment on the fact that they're not laughing. Right. Right. Right. But if there's no audience there to not laugh. Right. Did you make a joke right well what do you think about like the future of comedy on tv because there's so much less audience driven comedy now like sitcoms with audiences you know it's become a single camera uh is is kind of the way to go now and that i

think that's what it's in people's minds. I, I I've seen people comment. I've seen people comment on our stuff where they're like, Oh, they, they add laughs. And it's like, no, it's an audience that we record and we don't. Yeah. We hate ourselves. We're not right. We're not there to juice anything. But my point, I think people have gotten out of the habit of just hearing laughter to the point where they assume it's not real, you know. But so I wonder if that's going to ever just kind of go away eventually. Yeah. What if it's just people doing the, like, the text, iMessage text responses, the ha-ha.

You can tap ha-ha on the screen. That'll be the world of comedy. All texting and GIFs. Anyway. Well, hey, thanks for that question, Kyle M. And we love all listener questions, even when we don't say them out loud. Sometimes they're just things that we've already addressed. But you can still ask any questions to us any and all email us at insideconanpod at gmail.com or call us

323-209-5303 and it's just a voicemail no one's going to answer don't worry wow you read my mind I was just going to say all that stuff including the email and the phone number so thank you that's so cool yeah yeah I was going to ask people to send in questions. Mind meld. It really is. Now that we're in the same area code again. What were you going to do

after that? Then I was going to say, Jesse, until next week. Well, you know what? Last week I upgraded our relationship with our listeners. Yes. From like. Yeah. I said the big L-O-V-E word. Right. And you know what? I still feel that way. Oh. We love you.

Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast, is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jessi Gaskell. Produced by Sean Doherty. Our production coordinator is Lisa Byrne. Executive produced by Joanna Solotaroff, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. Engineered and mixed by Will Becton. Our talent bookers are Gina Batista and Paula Davis. Thanks to Jimmy Vivino for our theme music and interstitials.

You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. And of course, please subscribe and tell a friend to listen to Inside Conan on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or whatever platform you like best. It's the Conan Show. Put on your hat. It's the Conan Show. Try on some spats. you're gonna have a laugh Give birth to a calf, it's Conan This has been a Team Coco production