Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Flula Borg Revisits CONAN in Berlin

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

Flula Borg joins Mike and Jessie to discuss traveling to Germany with Conan for "Conan Without Borders", the Schuhplattler basics, and what's really in his fanny pack.Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] or e-mail us at [e-mail].

And now, it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hi. Hello and welcome to Inside Conan, a very, very important Hollywood podcast. Ooh, I love the berries. We earned those berries. Yes, it's really going up in the world, this podcast. I'm Jesse Gaskell, and you're Mike Sweeney. Correct. I said it for you so that you wouldn't have to refer to the notes.

The less for me, the better. And yeah, it takes me a long time to read my name. We are writers with conan we've been doing so for many years and now we're doing this podcast and this season our 10th fourth i honestly know fourth season that's madness that's syndicated that's right only in guam they're airing reruns on usa oh you, you know, we're on Sirius. Yes. On channel 106. That might be where you're listening to us.

Right. In your car. Yeah, I almost drove off the road the other day hearing my voice. I was just hearing my voice like, oh my God, get me to Symphony Hall, too sweet. It's terrifying. It is terrifying. Some people, I don't like hearing my voice. I don't think anyone does. I thought that was kind of like an evolutionary thing yes i i keep us from recording ourselves

but who knows evolutionarily speaking yeah i i mean i know when i was a kid i heard my voice it sounded i thought i sounded cool and then i heard my voice and was horrified yes exactly never to hear it again but i wonder if kids growing up today are they're so immersed in tiktok they're recording themselves more right do they reach a comfort level where it's like oh yeah like i sound great i'm gonna become an influencer oh man kids aren't because they have to edit themselves insecure enough oh yeah imagine what a problem what a nightmare of a generation it is a nightmare what a what a horrible it's worse than than living through world war one or world war two yes having to edit yourself social media talking to a computer camera uh and i have no idea now who we are what

we're doing or why i was talking about hearing my voice. Oh, right. Inside Conan. It's a podcast and it's season four. And this season, it's all about Conan on the road. And that's just- Yes, outside Conan. Outside Conan, right. It's an umbrella term. We're just looking at the times Conan or the people on our show-

Left the studio. Conan and left the studio, burst out of the studio and hit the road to do hopefully something funny. Yeah. No guarantees there. No, no, no. You hit the road, not with Conan. Right. But kind of recently.

Yeah. I worked on a documentary about Bono and the Edge. Yeah, I've heard of them. Those two open covers. And it was hostedo and the Edge. Yeah, I've heard of them. Those two up and comers. And it was hosted by David Letterman. Yeah. And I got to tag along. I was like kind of helping out with the David Letterman stuff.

Dave without borders. Yeah, that's right. That's right. It was a different thing. Right, we went to Dublin. Yeah. And I had a great time it sounds unbelievable i mean that's what what legends yeah to get to hang out with yeah well david letterman i is you know i

never met him until last year and he's uh hilarious exactly the way you'd imagine he's you know this galant he's just incredibly smart incredibly inquisitive and then also hilarious what kind of facial hair does he have these days he's got a beautiful beard oh a thick long beard yes i try not to stare i want to just stare at it the way you stare at a beautiful woman yeah but i i he's like my eyes are up here exactly so i trained myself to maintain eye contact uh and uh yeah so that that was a blast you had to go to dublin i got to go to dublin and uh the funny thing is like some people have been like oh what was bono and the edge like and and i was like i don't i didn't even care about them oh really yeah i was Yeah, I was just like enthralled, you know. With Dave.

Hanging out with Dave Letterman. Yeah. I was just like, yeah. And there were two other guys. Yeah. But Bono, I learned, is a great impressionist. What? He does great impressions of other rock stars. Oh, that's so fun.

And they're really funny. And I think that in this special, which is out now, it came out on this. Yeah. There's a snippet of him doing, I think, Keith Richards. Oh, that's great. Yeah, no, he's great. And then. I would love if Bono started trying to do like he went on America's Got Talent.

Yes, that's a great idea. Or start out in Dublin. Like there must be an Ireland as talent. And then. Yeah. Across the pond. Well, I'm excited to watch this. I haven't watched it yet

but I promise I will okay it's a lot of you too also I'll fast forward through those parts oh no no it's it's really great oh no I like I like you too fine I mean but you know there's a yeah I love Bruce Springsteen and I didn't even finish his Howard Stern interview. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, the director is Morgan Neville. Yeah. Who did 20 Feet from Stardom. Oh, I loved that movie.

And he was great to watch. He's the most relaxed, cool presence. You have to be. You have to be. To be around rock stars. No, but just with the directing. Yeah. He just, I don't know, seemed to be. To be around rock stars. No, but just with the directing. Yeah. He just, I don't know, seemed to not have a care in the world, shot everything.

And then two weeks later, there was a cut of the show and it was unbelievable. Wow. And it blew me away. It's a relief when you hear that because I think there's a misconception that you have to be like, you've got to be an asshole to get a good product. Right. And that's just not true. Well, I think if you're just so good at something, you can just kind of be relaxed about doing it. Like, I think he has it all in his head.

Or if he doesn't, he must do some serious comm apps before shooting. Yeah, right. Because he came across it just like. He might just be like fully CBD'd out. Right. I would have to be. Yeah, right. Because he came across as just like... He might just be like fully CBD'd out. Right. I would have to be. Yeah. But no,

he was great and very large and in charge. Well, that sounds great. In the coolest way possible. But enough about other shows. Yeah, are we even allowed to do this?

No free rides. I don't know if they'll be able to broadcast this. Because we also went on the road. Yes. With Conan many times to other countries in Europe. One of those was Germany.

And we went with none other than today's guest, Flula Borg. Yes. Flula appeared on the TBS show with Conan and was such an immediate hit. Oh, just a force of nature. And then Conan, I think, or I forget who brought it up first, but it was just like, let's go to Germany together. I think Flula invited Conan to Germany. Yes. And that was it. It was a done deal. And there was a moment of like, well, yeah, let's go.

Yeah. I want to go with this guy. I don't think he expected Conan to say yes. Right. Right. And the next thing you know, and we got to go along which was fun oh it was so fun we went to berlin and some it might be one of my favorite travel shows because there's just so many funny remotes in it i will agree with you it might be my favorite too yeah it's really like for comedy's sake laughs per minute are very high yes and i think it's the hardest i've laughed while we were recording. Recording. Yes. And where a lot of times I laugh really hard at something and then you edit it and you're

like, oh, wait, why were we laughing so hard? No, but this one was like, oh, we might need to make two shows out of this. No, it was great. It really, it's all there. It all came out on the old camera. Yeah. So we talked to Flula about our It all came out on the old camera. Yeah. So we talked to Flula about our trip to Germany. Here's Flula Borg.

Hi, Flula. Welcome. Wow, hello. Hi, it's great to see you again. Great to see you as well, guys. We have begun the show. We, well, sure, in a sense. Can you tell the change in my voice?

Yes. More professional tone. Yes, yes, yes. Direct eye contact. Dulce turns from Jesse. Okay. Where's that? Dulce, Oklahoma. Yes. Dulce, Oklahoma. I've been there.

Have you been to Oklahoma? We'll cover that. Oh, yeah, of course. You travel to all 50 states. Yes, 50 now. Yes. Well, we've had you on the podcast before. This is accurate. We wanted to have you back because we just didn't have have enough time the first time right right that's what we always say there's always so much left on the table was that i thought we'd completed it and we really were done yeah i thought we started going over shopping lists and got desperate um no we well

we're doing a series of shows about our travels with conan conan on the road wow thank god you're here because i i didn't remember what i'm like what is this season what's the purpose what's the common link jesse has the answer thanks jesse and you've been on the road with conan i have traveled on roads a privileged few yes yes yes and pathways and pathways also yes metaphorical a plane there might have been a boat in there. Do we go on a boat? We have not boated. No boating. Not yet.

No, we've not boated. Adding that to the checklist. Hello, buckets. A cruise, maybe. You and Conan on a cruise. On a cruise. I would love this. Have you ever been on a cruise?

I have not. The water makes me vomit. Oh, okay. So I try to avoid it a little bit. But I would do it. So triangle of sadness situation. Right. Yes, very much. Yeah, yeah. Give me the Nut avoid it a little bit. So triangle of sadness situation. Yes, very much. Yeah, yeah.

Give me the Nutella on the tiny boat. And then vomit everywhere. You at least watched the beginning of that. I saw the trailer. It also made me sick. Made you vomit. Yes, immediately took eight drama mines. Yeah, I thought watching that trailer, there was a lot of vomit in the trailer.

Was there? I didn't see the trailer. Yeah. And I assume that wasn't even most of the vomit in the movie. Well, they always put the best part in the trailers. That's true. It's like, shit, now I've seen all the vomit. All the good vomit.

I've seen all the vomit, yes. So we went to Berlin with you. We did. And I mean, you really kind of took us to Berlin. Well, yes, a little bit. To show us your Berlin. I showed you my Berlin on other items as well. Reference to my testicles.

And penis. Don't sell your penis short. I didn't look. I want that to be clear. I didn't look out of respect to you. I did just because lighting is important to me. Shadows. And I want to make sure everything was properly showcased.

Yes, like one of the renaissance sculptors I saw you notice like Fula has a third leg and then you looked up you realize oh no just merely a shadow

there were a lot of peni on that beach oh we went to a nude beach it was mostly peni I didn't see as many naked women no

vagis no yeah vagi how do you pluralize it? Vagini. Vagini? Is that the norm with nude beaches? Is there a

preponderance of males? More penis and vaginis? Yeah, more penis and vaginis. I think so. It's probably, most are sausage parties, I would think. Yes. Schnitzel parties? As well, when in Germany, it's a bratwurst party. Bratwurst, yes. So, yeah, more bratwurst than. Bratwurst, yes. Yes.

So, yeah, more bratwurst than, I don't know, Wachuczis, whatever we're saying now. Yes. Pretzels. The pretzels. Yes, the folded pretzels. That comes later. Yes.

If things work out. Hey, whoa. Things did not work out. Just so everyone knows. It's delicious. That was the narrator, yeah. Yes, I took you i invited conan when i met him and you guys the first time on the show and i just said you should join me uh to come

to germany i just thought i would say it yeah and then never see you didn't think anyone would follow up on that oh this was the first and last time i would ever speak with conan obama was my i was convinced yes yeah because you you would probably invited a lot of other people to Germany. Everyone all the time. Yeah. That's your ploy. It's a smart, you never know who's going to take you up on it. It's my ice break, you know. That's how I do it.

Come with me to Düsseldorf. And it's sort of a game of chicken because you're like, well, I at least got the credit for offering and they're not going to take me up on it. And then no one feeds me chicken. Yes, that's correct. Yeah, you hope for it. That's how you played. chicken. Yes, that's correct. You hope for it. That's how you played. Yeah. But right on the air, he was like, yeah, I'd love to go with you.

It was an instant match. It was a deep match. Yes, it was a bing-bing. We both swiped the correct direction. Yes, correct. And then you joined as well. It was very fun. Yes, we both got to go.

That was one of my favorite trips of the travel shows we've done so far. Of the travel shows? Yes. I loved going to Berlin. Berlin is a really fun city. There's so much going on. Oh, I agree. Delicious foods.

Really cool people. Yeah, delicious food. Yeah. Angular haircuts. Very angular, yes. I like that we went and then we visited three Bavarian things just to cover other Germany locations. Oh, yeah. Right.

But really. Those were on a soundstage. That's right. Yes, with casted Bavarians. Those were on a soundstage. That's right. Yes, with casted Bavarians. Yes. Yeah. Zero of them live in Berlin. From California.

From California. One of them was from California. Oh, really? He was like Rancho Cucamonga. Oh, the shoe platters? Yeah. No. Oh, yeah.

One of the brothers. Yeah. Oh, I had no idea. Had lived in Northern California. He was talking about surfing. Oh, funny. We spoke later. He lives now in an automobile in Riverside.

Oh, no. So he's moved up. Well, yeah. So we did a shoe plattler remote. And I think I didn't realize at the time, but you grew up doing shoe plattler. Correct. Yes, as a child. And that's a dance, a cultural dance.

A cultural dance. Sure. Can you describe shoe plattler? Yeah. it's like the running man of early Bavaria. Oh. So, except there's

less running, more hopping, lots of slapping, hands in the air like you just don't care, and then you slap both knees and buttocks and other...

You sometimes slap your feet. Yes. Like a hacky sack. Hacky sacky. Yes, you may touch other people's... I mean, be careful to not hit the penile or the vagina,

but you can hit in those general regions as well. Yeah. And then lots of Polka Moose music is playing. Yes. And what do you wear for that? Anything you like, but also only lederhosen. Okay. But anything under the lederhosen.

Yes, anything that's freedom. Freedom underneath. That's where the freedom comes. That's correct. And is that why, because lederhosen seem like they might be a little bit protective in the crotch area. Because it's leather. It's stiff leather. You mean like there's a condom built in?

Well, I guess I mean that that seems like the right clothing to wear if you're going to get slapped on the crotch. Yes, of course. If you hit a cow's hide versus if you hit nylon, one will hurt and bruise your clementines, and the other one will protect those. A shock absorber. That's correct. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, so sort of safety garment. Safety first.

That's how we do it. This is how we do it. Montel Jordan, hello? So is there a limited shelf life for shoe plattler? Like, do they get groin injuries and have to drop out? Is there like a Karima Dulce ball that played 20 seasons of Schuhplattler? Everyone else is like three to five years. Yes, exactly.

Emmett Smith running back. Before you become sterile. Free agency. Yeah, that's correct. Oh, it's very good. Like go from Munich to Dusseldorf. Oh, absolutely. The Innsbruck bling blongs.

Yes. Steal everyone. They're such poachers. The bling blongs. The bling blongs. Yeah, yeah. There's an umlaut somewhere. No one tells you where.

We invite you to guess. the umlaut is coming from inside the building that's correct yes I know what you umlauted last summer inside the frieze

what was the question? well just going back to you inviting Conan oh sure did you really think that was going to happen? Of course not.

No. No, I truly did think I would be escorted middle of the taping away from the show for making no sense and then referencing. Slapped with a restraining order.

Immediately slapped somewhere with something. Yes, of course. And had you spent a lot of time, I know you're obviously from Germany and razor. Had you spent a lot of time

specifically in Berlin? The wonderful thing is I don't know Berlin at all. Oh. This is, it's like if you ask a man from tulsa to then say hey show me manhattan right right what okay i don't know the mat which one the baseball team nobody knows so did you have to study up oh i googled yes yeah okay yeah yeah just like a good tutor be one chapter ahead of the student exactly that's all i was yeah but it was fun i can speak the language and no one else could speak well i can barely you know we know i have limitations you know just

as a human person but i was able to communicate you yeah definitely yes and when you're in germany i mean do you feel like people how do people respond to your german do you think that well what what do you like because i i mean i know that people all over the world the diaspora probably have different accents what where does your german accent fall close to bavaria so people think i'm from bavaria they also think i'm an idiot but of course that goes across all cultures so that's not accent universal you're welcome in any country that's correct yes yes i receive slow responses from everyone no matter which country i'm in yeah and what about humor wise do people in germany think you're funny nobody's no no no

i'm a german man from germany regular yeah yes i'm one of 98 mil you know that's short for just a basic german bitch you're just a basic bitch yeah that's what i am just one of those chips and the chips are whole cookies bet Bet you bite one. How would you describe the German sense of humor? What is it called? The German. Okay. So no sense of humor.

I've never heard that term before. I've heard of this. In theory. It sounds like the fourth dimension. What is that? I don't know. Music? The G spot.

Oh, good luck. Yes. There's got to be. Is there a stand-up comedy scene in Germany? If so, it's located next to the G-Spot. We're just not sure. That's a nightclub. It is, yeah. People have been trying to get in to pay their two-drink minimum for years. And then hee-haha.

No, there's comedy in Germany. I don't understand it. I don't belong there. I have not been excommunicated in official ways, but I have never been employed in Germany. There's a reason you've been working in the United States for a long time. Thank you for saying it. That's correct, Jessie. And thank you again, America, for employing me.

Well, Conan actually had gone. I didn't realize this, but I just rewatched it. Conan had gone to Germany when Late Night was on the air. He went to Cologne in 1997 because there was a German late night show, Die Haraldschmidt Show. Did you ever watch that? Haraldschmidt Show is like if you take a photocopy of the Constitution and then photocopy it 10,000 times, let it sit in the rain, and then fax that to your friend in Providence, Rhode Island, and translate it into German.

That's the Harald Schmidt show, compared to Conan. Yes. But still as funny as the Constitution. Oh, Hillary. Oh, yes. That stays. Let me tell you.

Article 2, kills every time. No need for a punch-up on that certain seizure. Well, so is that show popular in Germany? Oh, yes. But it's because

no one could receive the Conan show. Yeah. The minute you're seeing this Conan show, like, oh, this is the actual Harald Ritch. Right.

But yeah. So I think he went just to be like, you are, did he sue him? Well, he did confront them a little bit

because there were some obvious lifts. I mean, they were doing desk drive and they were doing clutch cargo with the lips moving on Michael Jackson's face. His sidekick was named Randy Stichter. Okay, so let's just. Yeah. They could have kept Richter's because that's German. It was actually Andy Richter.

It's true. They also had another, it was the Andy Richter? That's true. They also had another, Liza's the ovulating monkey. That's another character. So it's very obvious. It's weird because there's no outward sign that you're ovulating. So it would just probably sit there. That's exactly. And then there was sometimes, are you okay?

I'm fine. It's very dry. And that was it. I'm having a mood swing. Yes. That was it. You said that, mood swing. Yes. That was it. You said that, not me. So did they fight?

Was there fisticuffs? No. I think he, I don't know if he directly confronted him. He confronted one of their associate producers and just, you know, asked if they watched the show. Right. And mentioned the similarities. I wish the associate producer was exactly like Jordan Schlansky. She might have been.

That would have been good. She was good at deflecting. Right. Oh, well, there you go. Oh, nice. But no, he appeared on the show and seems like was happy to just be a part of it. Oh, we just covered a show in China that did the exact same thing that that was ripping

off Conan. Wow. Yeah. And? Well, that's what started this new Cold War with China. That was it?

All over this. It's not a trade war. All over this. No. A lot of people that that's a smoke screen. Oh, OK. Yeah.

All right. I like this. They refuse to take that show off the air. It is, though. I mean, the U.S. steals a lot of things. Basically, every British sitcom that's ever existed.

What are you talking about? They do pay royalty. They do pay royalty to then steal it. All of the Danish crime shows where it's raining. Oh, yeah. All the time. All the CSIs. Yes.

Those were Danish shows. Oh, were they? CSI even? Mm-hmm. Just a CSI Miami with drizzle. That's basically what it was. The concept of Miami was Danish. Oh, yeah they? CSI even? Mm-hmm. Just a CSI Miami with drizzle. That's basically what it was. The concept of Miami was Danish.

Oh, yeah, of course. Yes. All crime comes from Denmark. From Denmark. Yeah. People don't know that. That's correct.

That's correct. A little history fact, everyone. Wait, what happens on this show? Do you guys just... Ah! Do you break down

like every episode of Conan Effa and like talk about episode 104? We talked about doing a Conan watch show because that would be over 4000 episodes. Right. Like, oh, I guess that's a good employment. Yes. Right. Safe. This seems like smart move.

And then we'd be like, wait, this one's just like the one we watched yesterday. Yeah. No one will know. We kept doing the same stuff on this show. It's fine. It's great. Yeah. Do you think that there's too much content out there?

There's not. Jesse, no. There is not enough content. Yes. We should be drowning in content. There's a serious station that needs to be filled 24-7 with sounds. That's right. It could be any sound.

Not even words. Why not these sounds? Just briny sounds in airports or whatever. Whale songs. And they're adding channels all the time. And there are an infinite amount of numbers, ergo an infinite amount of potential stations. Yeah, yeah, just like the multiverse. Right, right, right.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the serious first. Look, you don't say yes to every podcast. I do. You did your homework. You knew. Yeah, yeah. Just like the multiverse. Right, right, right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, the serious first. Look, you don't say yes to every podcast. So you did your homework. You knew. No, I do. This wouldn't be an entire total waste of an hour of your time. Michael, I receive three offers a year.

Oh, you're right. And two are from you. That's right. So thank you. I invited you to Berlin. You still haven't gotten back to me on that. I will check yes. It's just a letter.

It takes some time. Yeah, yeah. Snails, man. You just, I'm will check, yes. It's just a letter. It takes some time. Yeah, yeah. Snails, man. You just, I'm jumping ahead, but you just did Pitch Perfect. The movie, Pitch Perfect 2. The TV show. Oh, the film. That was set in Berlin.

It was set in Berlin. That is correct. It literally, it's no green screen action. No, you were in Berlin. You didn't use an arch in Brooklyn to stand in for the... That was shot in... Michael, this will blow your brains. No. We shot in Berlin, but we shot in a green screen place in Berlin.

Oh, I love that. So the Brandenburg Gate was a CGI Brandenburg Gate. Is that true? No. Oh. But that would be great. It would be funny. Anything's possible.

This would be wonderful. Oh, my God. I went to Paris to shoot a movie and we were mostly on a soundstage. Was the soundstage for Paris? The soundstage was partly for Paris. They had a replica of the Eiffel Tower on the soundstage. I know. Seriously?

I love it. Just the base? The restaurant level. They built the restaurant level. They built an exact replica. And then had to put the skyscape behind it. level okay they built the restaurant they built yeah they built an exact replica and it was outside of paris the the skyscape behind yes the paris skyscape yes was also fake yes everything was fake everything was fake this is wonderful a lot of it yeah i mean we shot a few maybe five days

out in paris but we were there for eight weeks and And mostly on the soundstage. Please tell me this was Emily in Paris. No. It was all the action sequences in Emily in Paris. No, it was the movie Murder Mystery that's coming out soon. Murder Mystery 2. Yeah, this guy knows a good number. Yes, he knows about sequels.

I know a little bit. Yes. Speaking of Pitch Perfect 2. Wow, you guys are great at marketing. We're getting the word out. That's all this is. It's an hour-long ad for Pitch Perfect. I just was excited to see you back in Berlin.

Yeah. And were you kind of like, hey, I know a good dominatrix from my time here with Conan and a good new beach? Did any of that come? The popular guy on the set. They're like, this guy knows Berlin.

He knows nudity and roughness. No, none of this came in handy. Okay. Nope. In this show, I play what people call the straight man, which is very confusing. I was like providing a plot. What? And yeah, very confusing for me.

I was like, this is, you know, you don't hire, you know, David Robinson to make croissants. You know, he dunks. Anyone? Nobody knows. It's right. I love your 90s basketball references. I cannot help it. Yes. Well, did you get to ad-lib? You're saying you played

the straight man, because I wanted to ask you, you are one of the fastest, most hilarious ad-libbers I i know did you get a chance to do that at all were you ad-libbing plot points yeah yes i learned very quick yeah exactly grab that bazooka this is an acapella show because your father died my what stop yeah he's a machine gun i did all of those at a place that's called the craft services table uh-huh and that's where i do all of my riffing and then i would go to the stage and then say the words that they asked for yes yes you learn quick they don't none of it works none of it survives right yes yes yes wow did uh did you

have to speak german on the show? I did have to speak some German. Yeah. So I did this, but mostly English because the show was on Peacock. Mm-hmm. Right. I love Peacock. Peacock is great.

It's a wonderful place. Where's the umlaut in that? That's what's crazy is there's all umlauts. Okay. It's just every letter gets an umlaut it's like that Oprah Winfrey show with the escalates

yes yeah I'd love you to to rename all the streaming services oh great yes oh now

with this Helu and Knopfloch Knopfloch Khabonov which is HBO now pronounced in German Khabonov Khabonov is great

Disney Plus Khabonov Max Khabonov Max you're now pronounced in german habonoff habonoff is great disney plus habonoff max habonoff max uh to to be that's just already i think it to be is as german as it gets

to be or not to be yes yes yes yes and quibi was uh quibi we say bye bye to quibi

yes of course quibi yeah and what's this on what streaming service oh boy what is this serious oh yeah streaming service are we on? Oh, boy. What is this on? Sirius.

Oh. Sirius 7. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Why is it so poorly misspelled? Does anybody know? Sirius?

Yes. Oh. There are five spelling errors. I thought it was somebody's last name. And why is Jonathan Sirius? Mm-hmm. Why isn't there a space between Sirius and XM? They jammed them together.

Yeah. Terrible. How is this pronounced? What does XM stand for? Oh, I knew for five minutes. You did know it. I googled it once. Extra.

And I immediately. Meaty. Again, extra starts with an E. So issues. Sorry, anyway. Well, everything's a shortcut with that. Wow. Okay, let's talk about

being in Berlin with Conan. were you embarrassed at all to have conan with you i mean did you worry he was going to embarrass you in front of other germans this sounds like something he has done to you as you're asking me about it yes all of this the right how tell me of the embarrassments. I guess I just wondered if you thought, oh, what are people going to think of Conan? Are they going to accept him? Everyone loved him. There was a big crush.

Oh. Yes, yes, yes. He was walking around like one of the Direction Boys. What are they called? Correct Direction? One Direction? Yes. Yes.

It's like if a tall redhead man from correct direction was walking around and everyone was making a freak out. So you think people could tell that he was famous? Because I don't think a lot of people recognized him. Conan has a famous walk. You know, he has a walk of, I know my IMDB score is pretty low. And people can smell it. Yes. Yeah. know my imdb score is pretty low and people can smell it yes yeah but yeah what did you how did you perceive that germans um thought of conan well there was one he had a fight with someone who was telling him about a spell check issue with one of the episodes do you remember there's

like an argument about a factual error oh yes during one one of the... That guy had driven... He had driven three miles. No, three hours. I meant three hours. Three hours. Five kilometers. He had driven three hours. And by the way, only traveled three miles. There's a lot of traffic.

Very, very... Concentric circles slowly getting... Until we were pinned down. We saw him for hours, but he just kept circling us. Was he from Bavaria? Did he say he was from? I remember nothing. Only that he disagreed and I felt this is the most German man on the street encounter I can imagine.

Yes, yes. Yes, it was wonderful. He was fantastic. I love that guy in Germany because he, those are my favorite people we encounter where there's no warning and they just come up upon them. Yeah. And I- And hopefully the cameras are rolling. Yes.

And they were. My next thing. Yes. That's true. They always were. And they're not. Were you there when we ran? Because I know you dipped in, you only dipped in and out. So what did you do? Yes. What did you do yes what did you do we were jealous of you

because we were we'd go you know we'd have a nice lunch with you where you talk on some German terms which was hilarious and then we'd take we'd go off

do other stuff for a day and then we'd meet back up with you like go to the nude beach and I I was just jealous I'm like that bastard is having a great time he's getting massages

yeah what were you up to i have a three event rotation in my day so i try to hit all three laundry very close shout out shout out garden state yeah not the film with natalie portman no the boys and the sad sick what's he called the situation oh six oation. Yeah, the six pack. Oh, the six, yeah, situation. I like the combination. Event one, calisthenics. Event two, exchange rate manipulation.

If you, there are some banks that offer slightly better. This was not yet. Pre-crypto. This is pre-crypto for me. I have dived into that hole, let me tell you. Oh, have you? Shout out Doge. So, yeah, I would make small amounts of money

by exchanging money from one part of the city to the other. But do you have, you have to pay fees though every time. But if you walk, you save on transportation or you can get a day pass. And so you can travel as many times as you like. U-Bahn, German for subway.

So you're just exchanging marks? What's the... Well, shout out to 1998 that's all of my i grew up on german tv from the 90s oh you did oh man you love lindenstraße right it's a european union smackdown um no it's funny i was like oh i i would i missed the pfennig and people shame me because it's now the scent in Germany. So it's fine. I feel your pains.

Oh, and the third thing was just staring as all Germans do. Yes. That's a third of your day. Yes. Do you stare at people? Is staring not considered rude in Germany? It's considered curiosity. It doesn't kill anything.

You know, here it kills kittens apparently. In Germany, it just broadens your horizons. When you stare, is there an expectation to follow it up with a question, a query of some kind, or just staring by itself is fine? Staring means nothing, but Americans and everyone thinks it means something

weird or perhaps a threatening, but in German it's just like, my eyes are open. You are here. I'm taking you in like a delicious Gatorade. And what happens if someone stares back? Do you just lock eyes for a long time? Nobody knows. You have to get married.

It's never happened. No, it's not even a locking. It's not like, what happens when the Ghostbuster streams crosses? I'm just looking and taking it in. I did not know about German stare. I want to go back to Germany to look out for the staring. Oh, so much. So many.

That's all we do. What's the German word for staring? Starm. Starm. Which just means hey. Oh. It's not even rude. You know, it sounds staring.

It's like, why are you staring? Yeah. Germans don't say that. It's like, oh, hi, your eyes are open. And is it anywhere? Like an elevator, subway? Nude beach? Oh, it's.

Autobahn. All the places. Universal. Yeah, universal. It's like donuts in America. And is there a distance? Like, is it usually people have to be at least 10 feet away? Or close by, you can just stare?

Like a Bette Midler from a distance? Yes, like a Bette Midler. Yeah, the world looks blue and green. You can be as close as you like, as far as you like. Sometimes it's just blurry if you have a mastigmatism. Right. Then you're just looking at a magic eye poster.

Correct. Or you're having a stroke. And you can stare at any part of the person, right? Oh, like down, up, everywhere? Sure. Yeah, certainly. Yeah, we don't care.

Yeah. You're here. You're out. You're in public. Yeah. So you are now my property. It's like Olive Garden. When you hear your family, except when you're here, nobody you are now my property it's like Olive Garden when you hear your family

except when you hear nobody cares keep staring okay we couldn't mention the Berlin show without talking about the dominatrix yes a segment with the dominatrix. Yes. Conan did. Oh, yes. Conan, yes. A segment with a dominatrix in Berlin. Where he was dominated, to be clear.

Our producer wanted to know whose idea that was. I don't remember. I don't remember either. That means. I. Conan. Fear I could have been responsible for. You know what? It sounds like something you'd come up with.

Oh. Yeah. And I mean that in a good way. I did some of my own research. Okay. And it was just something that I thought he would. You enjoyed it. Yes.

I enjoyed it. Yes, exactly. Wonderful. And then I don't know how many dominatrixes our producer Jason Chalemi spoke with, but boy, he found the right. He found the one. The one. Yes. She didn't.

I don't know if she knew that we were doing comedy at all. No. No. It wasn't. She thought it was. Yeah. Yeah. Well,'t. I don't know if she knew that we were doing comedy at all. No, no, it wasn't. She thought it was. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

that's the funniest thing. The funniest thing. Yeah. Don't try to be funny, be real and terrifying. Right. That's hilarious. Exactly.

But she was funny too. But it's often hard to get people to be themselves, especially in that context where it's a little bit, it's very intimate. Yeah. But she was ready to go immediately. Oh, yes.

She started at a 10. Yeah. I feel she had another client lined intimate. But she was ready to go immediately. Oh, yes. She started at a 10. Yeah, I feel she had another client lined up. So she was like, let's get this done. Like Mike Wallace was coming in a little while. Some other TV host. No time for foreplay. She literally was like,

I'm here to extricate your sperm, yes. Yes. Oh, yes. Remove it the old-fashioned way. By force. Yeah, that's correct. No syringe or anything.

Yes. And we had to, we pulled her aside and said, no, no, no, no. We needed to be a little. It was scary initially. Yes, it was. I think Conan was like,

we were all just, oh my God. We just hadn't set our boundaries which i think was a good lesson thank you yes because that probably should have been the first conversation right yes and so they had to establish a say well because we wanted to have a safe word that was kind of the on-camera safe word and then maybe an actual safe word right that would be just his screams i think those were the safe word that was the. Those were the safe words. That was the safe words. Just the safe utterance. She got right down to inflicting pain. Pain.

Yeah, a lot of physical pain. And there is a whole nother, that was so action-packed, our time with her, that I edited a whole nother episode with her. Just for you. Yes. Exactly. Yeah, does that exist somewhere? It does. I thought we'd air it. Yeah. And then Conan was like, that. Exactly. Yeah, does that exist somewhere? It does. I thought we'd air it. Yeah.

And then Conan's like. My family occasionally watches this show. You guys know him better than me to stare at his eyeballs. Was he enjoying this? I think that. I do think initially he was sort of titillated by the idea. And then once it felt very real he i did see fear in his eyes yes and that just made me laugh harder but then then then i think he counted to 10 and i was like

okay how do i make this funny and then he was and then i think he was on terra firma again yeah right because that must be weird for him to lose your you're actually ceding control yeah completely this feels i don't see conan in this situation very much yes right it was and it was all being videotaped right so there was yeah no he can't start crying we were we snuck into her small boudoir slash dungeon uh-huh and it was jesse myself uh jose arroyo the other writer i jason in there i think and the camera people and we it's the hardest i've loved it was and we were just hiding behind a butcher block i think yes we were for some reason i remember there being a butcher block in there we were like an island she had like a kitchen island but full of food toys oh yeah yeah yeah and i was just crouched behind it crying just

crying with laughter and it's like we were this far away from him five feet away from what you could smell it i was going to ask what were the aromas oh we had no yeah bratwurst probably of course mustard yeah this checks out it's very very claustrophobic. This is very exciting. It did feel like the right thing to do there. And Germans are very sex positive, right? In a way? Yes, we enjoy intercourse. We are not afraid of nudity.

My childhood TV guide was just a topless woman on the cover all the time. And that was just how you went to see what was playing on the news. the time and that was just how you went to see what was playing on the news are families nude together like oh like is that totally fine yeah oh yeah in germany as they say a family that nudes together strudes together together which is short for strudel get the strudel after the beach that's how you do it happy endings that's how you get the sweet the sweet

reward at the end. That was awkward. Yes. No, that is a very normal behavior. Everyone likes intercourse. No one is scared. We like to talk about it. Right.

What you like, what you not like. There are no taboos. Right. That's great. I feel like intercourse is kind of popular everywhere.

Is this true? But sure, Germans, a little more. But talking about it, not as much. It's like 8 billion people. Yeah, we're very open about it.

Yeah. It's very open. And kinks are not a thing to be ashamed of. We love that band. Yes. They are great. Absolutely. They're not getting back together.

It's not happening? I don't think so, no. What are some acts that are big in Germany? I know, I mean, David Hasselhoff famously is. Was that real or was that like a. Yeah. Oh, good question. Was real and or was that like a. Yeah. Oh, good question. Was real and confusing.

Yes. Finally, something real. Thank you. It was real. He was very popular. Yes. But because Baywatch was also there. Right.

Knight Rider also. Everything was very big. Right. And he also was just like singing great songs about freedom. Perfect timing. The wall. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Not the Game of Thrones wall. The Berlin wall. Right, the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the Game of Thrones wall, the Berlin wall, everyone's focus. And are there other sort of strange, I mean, American acts that you wouldn't expect to be popular there that are kind of like maybe even ironically popular? I don't know. Oh, we don't do irony. But there are bands that start in Europe and

like, oh, can this be famous in America? Great. So like NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Pink, all of these. Pink. Yeah, these began in, New Kids on the Block, they began in Germany. Oh. Like little tests, like, oh, do we like it? Really? Oh, cool.

Are you aware at the time that like you're getting these acts that aren't like pink these American acts are trying out there we just enjoyed they're just created in a lab

yeah really totally yeah like do they like it they like it and so yeah but we've received this many times

are there home homegrown boy bands they're also they try them there are bands in Germany with American vocalists that are definitely not American. So

we have my 90s as a child, we have a lots of rap that's like very clearly not a German, not an American saying American raps, which is very fun. That is fun. Learning an American accent. Oh yeah. What are you doing? Everybody go. Everybody here. Look at my show. Like this kind of thing. It's's very good how are your parents with you going into showbiz is that frowned upon in Germany

is that a harder I feel like in America now especially like I want to be famous parents are like yeah go for it do it what about with you

in Germany no I have an engineering background so there was much disappointment and confusion any job that at the end requires you to say like comment and subscribe, they've got problems with that.

Wow. Do you ever use your engineering knowledge? And what kind of – was it hydraulic engineering, civil engineering? Environmental science and engineering. So, I focus on environmentally related things. Okay. So, not real engineering. Not real.

All fake. All fake. No, no. Software engineering as well. Okay. Yeah not real engineering. Not real, all fake, all fake. No, no, software engineering as well. Okay, oh yeah. Yeah, all bullshit. Wow, did you go to college for engineering? Yeah.

Oh, so were you, did you feel like, oh, I have to do this in a way to please my parents? But when I'm done, I'm going to just go crazy, watch out. Go to Hollywood. Right. I'm going to stare. I'm going to exchange currency. Well, I was unhappy as it. done i'm gonna just go follow my crazy watch out go to hollywood right i'm gonna stare i'm gonna exchange currency i'm gonna well i was unhappy as it i was doing these things i was like oh this is not happy let me so that you were hoping it might work out perhaps yeah but then i ended a hype man

contest uh and then i was accepted to participate wow i can't think of anything more perfect for you i didn't know what is a hype man and then i i won. I've sold this before, but I've won this hype man contest. And then therefore, I was like, oh, America maybe is a better move. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Because they have hype men there. I mean, I don't.

Do they have hype men in Germany? With hype women, we have all the hypes. Yeah. You're saying that you won that contest. That was your first foray. Yes. Then I was like, oh, perhaps, yes,

maybe I should not try to code in C++. I should perhaps try to hype the crowds of events. And then I would. And then you have an A++. Thank you.

Of vibes. Vibes. Yes. Yeah, good, great vibes. Thank you. You're welcome. That's, did you ever actually

go on to do any hype man work? Yes. I went on tour to open for T-Pain and also Big Boy of Outcast. What? Yeah. Wait, seriously? Actually, Lil Jon says what.

That's Lil Jon. Why was this the first five minutes of this interview? You went on a world tour? It was all nationwide. It was called the Textbooks and Tickets Tour sponsored by Chegg. Yeah.

Sponsored by Texas Instruments. Yeah, exactly. Lots of TI-85s out there. It's very good. Yeah. Did you have to do that voice modulator

like T-Pain did? No, I just screamed as a German man and people were confused and entertained. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've told this before. Did you guys not know? No, I just screamed as a German man and people were confused and entertained. Yeah. I feel like I've told this before.

Did you guys not know? Oh, I didn't know. I've never heard this. I wasn't listening. Oh, okay. Who'd you tell it to? Perhaps Andy. Nobody knows.

Whose podcast on this network haven't you done? What's left? Listen, I'll make those rounds. Scam goddess? Scam, what's that? Count me in. You'll be finding out soon. Hey, okay. We'll let them know Scam, what's that? Count me in. You'll be finding out soon.

Hey, okay. Well, we'll let them know you're available for scam. Count me in. I am available. Good. Yeah. Okay, well, listen to Andy's podcast to hear about T-Pain. Don't do it.

And hype manning. Okay. What is a hype man called in German? When we don't have the word, we just say the American word. So a hype man is a hype man. A hype man. Yeah, yeah. Of course, with a phone, we call it a handy. Cell phone is called a handy. Yeah. I don't have the word we just say the american word so a hype man is a hype man a hype man yeah yeah of course with a phone we call it a handy cell phone is called a handy yeah i don't know so if

you give someone a handy you're giving them your cell phone as opposed to manipulating their penis to ejaculation well you can ejaculate them with the phone you could do it a little rougher well a razor would work two phones two razors that's called a double handy. Two razors to be clear, the phone, razor phone. Yeah, absolutely. Otherwise, you have circumcised your mind. We have to say that for legal reasons. Of course. It's a sponsor.

Motorola is a big sponsor. We don't want any unintended circumcisions. Only consensual ones. Yes, no brisses during the listening of Inside Conan. Is it Conan Inside? I'd be okay with that. You would? Brisses going on? Breeze? The breeze? brises during the listening of inside Conan is it Conan inside you would brises going on bris breeze

the breeze yes easy breezy beautiful yeah are there why aren't there any German chain restaurants we have stolen some pizza hoot pizza hut yeah but it's like that was a very nice wonderful

restaurant where it's very expensive and only the deepest of dishes. Oh, so it's a fancy restaurant. Yes. Oh, I mean, I know in France, McDonald's is a nicer thing. Is this true? Yes. Oh, well, in Germany, the McDonald's, you must pay for your ketchup. What?

Yes. Is that true? Oh, yes. You pay for condiments. What? You heard me. I mean, don't play dumb. What about mustard? That seems illegal to have You pay for condiments. What? You heard me. I mean, don't play dumb. What about mustard?

That seems illegal to have to pay for mustard. I never purchased mustard, so I cannot confirm it or deny it. I know I sound like CIA. Do people bring their own mustard? Oh, B-Y-O-M? Yes. I've heard of this, yes, but mainly people will purchase. Okay.

Yeah, you get patted down. It's like going into a baseball game. You know, there's a little bit of an x-ray before you go. Oh, yeah. They don't want purchase. Okay. Yeah, you get patted down. You have to, it's like going into a baseball game. You know, there's a little bit of an x-ray before you go. Oh, yeah, they don't want you. Okay, I understand. No outside mustard. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

Only that hometown stuff. You like marzipan? Marzipan, yes, I love it. You like it? Yes. Are you forced to say that? No. Is someone going to hurt you?

I understand. This is how I feel of the licorice. Oh. the licorice oh go no go away with it please i'm okay with red licorice but that's not licorice anymore to me that is a new thing or is this also licorice oh true licorice yes yeah anise the flavor of anise thank you anise say that what are we saying anise uh-huh it's not like the taste of anise no what a shock i don't put anise in my mouth very nice i don't lick an anise i mean that's very popular you don't insert your tongue into the anise thank you i like it very nice keep going you're just getting warmed up with the anise chunk. But marzipan you'll fuck with. Literally, yes.

I guess. Yeah. Sorry, that was the first F-bomb of the show, so I was confused. It began there, directly after anise. We were talking about sticking our tongues in the anise. What is Toblerone? Is that Swiss? Swiss triangle chunkable chocolate where each piece.

With the nougat inside. No, but I'm wondering what country it's from. Swiss. Okay. Do they have nougat in Germany as well? We have nougat, yeah. We have this, but we have other chocolates also. Milka, very popular.

Kinder Überraschung. Yes, Kinder Bueno. Do Germans get along with the Swiss or are they like kind of just. On paper, we technically, we are friends with everyone. Yeah. On paper we technically we are friends with everyone Yeah On paper Right Okay I love that in

in Germany they have other fun kinder things like there's an egg that's full of toys that are very Choke hazards Choke hazards

but they sell them there It's called the choke hazard Yeah that's what we call it Because they banned that here but you can still get that in Germany Yeah yeah Schluckgefahr

that's what it's called Yeah Yeah it's called. Yeah. Yeah, it's called choking hazards. And it's a little egg inside of the egg. And you make and build a tiny toy. And the chocolate is delicious. It's for like three-year-olds. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Up as starting. I didn't mean that to be judgmental. That was rude. I do indeed. It's the German Cadbury egg. It's the Cadbury egg of Deutschland. Without the cream. Without the creamy. Cream creamy cream free yeah the the milky yolk well i see why you go

back to germany all the time these candy treats snacks and candy treats yeah yeah do you bring them back when you go do you stock up what the problem is this i have a large empty backpack a rucksack we're in germany rucksack i pack. I bring it on the plane so as to not let the cold of the bottom plane, you know when you have sometimes freezing chocolates and then it has a white film on the outside? Oh, yes. To prevent it, I bring it with me into the, what you call that? The hall, I don't know what you call the inside of the plane.

And then I eat everything on the plane, on the way, and then it is empty. So I have gained 82 pounds of sugar. It's like a service pet, only service candy. Yes. Yes, correct. Therapy chocolate. Does not go in the hold. Into the anus of the plane.

That's correct. Yeah. And do you like to go to any German nightclubs or anything when you're back? That's not really your scene, or do you go? I try to enter. I am not allowed entry. Okay. And I am, you know, this like loud as in volume and then this loud as in styles.

And I am screaming when I arrive at these. Oh, yeah, because they wear a lot of black. Yeah, I don't like this. Yeah. Yeah, bright like big city as they say it. But you won't compromise. You won't wear black in order to gain entry. That's correct. You have to accept me as my Roy G. Biff self. And if you don't like it. Roy't wear black in order to gain entry. That's correct.

You have to accept me as my Roy G. Biv self. And if you don't like it, then we go home. Yeah. And then I play at my own pace and place. What is Roy G. Biv in German? Because it has to be all different letters. Roy G. Biv. That's what I thought. Yeah.

We waited in a long line. Jose and I waited in a long line to get into a German nightclub when we were there. Which one? And did you get in? We did get in, but only because somebody put us on the list. We never would have gotten in. It wasn't Burgain, right? It was Burgheim.

Burgheim. Have you been to Burgheim? I've waited in the lines and served people bratwurst on the way out of the lines. Very lucrative. Do they have stands of bratwurst like they do in la with a hot dog no it's all forbidden but i have i wear some trainers some jogging extra and i'm ready to run at any moment any momentito when the police oh i see yeah yeah so i serve two to three people run do an extra currency exchange manipulation come back Do a little staring. Yes, a little staring.

You did. The rule of threes. Have you done some busking in Germany? Oh, the performing of outside. Yes, the performing of arts in the open space. Yes, I've done some stripping there. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, that's considered an art? Absolutely. Oh. What? Yeah. Nudity? Yeah. Peni, vagina, outside is art. Do you make any money doing no no no no i received screams um i've received uh food items thrown uh-huh well there you go yeah yeah so i stopped yeah okay yeah but now i play the trombone really oh that's cool yeah

i brought it with me during our tour with Conan, and I wanted to play it. I never played it one time. You never got to play it. I carried it with us through 18 cities. You brought it, oh, on the comedy tour. Yes. And what a segue. Sorry, that makes no sense.

To hour five of our interview. Somebody saw the clock. No. I'm like, ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba. Yeah, let's get there. It's when Super Mario plays quicker. Yeah, yeah, right. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Wow, that's a great point. Yeah, let's get there. Uh-huh. It's when Super Mario plays quicker. Yeah, yeah. Right.

Wow, that's a great point. You went on tour with Conan. It happened somehow. Yes. Yeah. Yes. That was the Stock Tips tour. Yes.

In 2018, Conan did a stand-up tour. Yes. Yeah, correct. He had never formally done. I mean, his tour in 2010 was all stand up but it was music this was more him doing like 20 minute well you came out you were kind of the host

you set the table you introduced Conan you introduced all the acts I think I did it I think that's correct and then the best part of the show in some ways was at the end, Kona would take questions from the audience. Yes.

And you got to really shine. Fula would go out to the audience and run around. Instead of people coming down to microphone, Fula would go to them, which was great because you'd kind of break the ice with them, which was hilarious. Before the question even got asked. You'd find out what their deal was. Well, I did the three things. Calisthenics running around. And then I did a little currency exchange. I was selling them

NFTs. It works in the United States as well. A hard stare while they spoke with Conan. To put them at ease. That was your time. That was your me time. That's like us goonies under the well. That was our time. It's their time. Yes.

It's their time up there. Down here, yeah. And so you must have gotten to see a lot of the U.S. that way that you might not have normally seen. Wonderful rooms of hotel. I saw some nice streets and also theaters as well. Sound stages. Sound stages, lots of donuts. I love donuts.

Yeah. Sure. What's your donut order? Krispy Kreme. Krispy Kreme. Just a regular. Krispy K cream just a regular it's as if you could pass this in america i know it's how you say it right crispy cream yeah i love this a cake donut a blueberry glazed blueberry cake donut i like the cake donut oh stop. The pumpkin spice donut, also good from Krispy Kreme.

Yeah. That's good to know. Pumpkin spice, not my flavor. I find Krispy Kreme too sweet. Oh, yes. Oh, you like a savory donut. I do. Well, I just like it cut it down a bit.

Yeah, yeah. What? Bitter. You want a bitter donut? No, but take the sugar from that one Krispy Kreme and put that over a dozen other. And I think that'd be plenty of sugar. You like that drug dealer that cuts the heroin with like fentanyl. I like fentanyl in my donuts.

Great. What a nice image. I like substitutes. What were some of your favorite spots to visit on that tour? Do you have any good memories? I drove to Nashville because, yes, there was some country boss. I would go. Everyone was sleeping, but I wanted to hear.

Yeah. I wanted to hear that way down yonder at the Chattahoochee. Do you have cowboy boots? No. No. Okay. No, no, no. I have lederhosen.

Cowboy boot is very tight. And I have what are called wide feet. Okay. Yes. Yeah. So you need more of a cowboy flipper. A cowboy Birkenstock. Like if we could combine them, those two would be very nice.

That seems like a great market. I know. That, I think, is going to get made. Yes. A Birkenboy. Yeah, a cowboy. A Birkenboot. I can see working cowboys signing, like.

Yeah, for when they're just hanging out around the house. The cast of Yellowstone Between Tags. Yes. Put on a Birkenboot. Put on a Birkenboot. And all the spin-offs. Oh, my takes. Yes. Put on a Birkin boot. And all the spin-offs. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very exciting. So many numbers. Yes. It's all numbers. I can't keep all the numbers straight. Same. Yeah. I hope they do a future one.

Yes. This is future Cowboys. 2024. Not that far in the future. Very near future. Okay. Well, that's what, so you got to go out to some cowboy bars in Nashville.

I don't think they call them that. They don't call them cowboy bars. I don't know what they did, but they boots could book it. They did play. I received. The icky breaky hearted. Oh yes.

I would give to the DJ person some dollars because I do love the Chattahoochee song. Well, you're as a DJ, one DJ to another. Do you know, what is DJ etiquette? Oh, I don't know. Can you make requests?

Is that okay? I stare at them. Yeah. And then I think no one else is staring. So then they approach me to one, two, perhaps fisticuffs. But then I say,

hey, how about way down? I'm your friend. Yes. Do you have Adam Jackson's Chattahoochee? And then they play it. Yeah. So anyway, when you go to a club

and there's a dj do you are you um do you feel like oh i gotta put my hands up when he tells us to like i'm like i just don't care right the problem is i'm always caring so when they say this i'm too concerned yeah also you don't want to lie correct i do bring my trombone to the dj because to the event then they will look at me because why is a man carrying a slide trombone to a rave right and then we speak we keep ignoring the tr because why is a man carrying a slide trombone to a rave? Right. And then we speak.

We keep ignoring the trombone thing. Why did you bring a trombone on the tour? I always wanted to announce the show like at the top of the theater. Oh, yeah. And just it never worked out. Did you? I don't. Yeah, I don't remember the trombone.

Did you ever even rehearse it? No. Okay. I told no one, but I carried it through 18 cities. And do you know how to play the trombone or just the ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba? Well, that would be playing. And yes, I can do this. Okay.

And also, I can play other songs as well. Oh, okay. Yeah, I could have brought it. Do you have it today with you? Yeah. No. Well, we'll have to take a break. You live in Silver Lake.

You can run home. Go home. I can. Okay, we'll be right back. We'll get some trombone. I can. Yeah. You should have. Okay, we'll be right back. We'll get some trombone. Yeah. You should have. Yeah, you should have said something.

Why didn't you insist on getting that trombone in there? I think Conan would have loved that. Conan would have wanted to play with you. I was very much the don't get terminated was my goal. Terminated. To get promoted. You think so? Yes.

With a glissando? Yes. Right now you do play. Yes, I know the words. Wow. What kind of music can you play? Do you play with a group, like a brass band? Or is it just solo only?

Mostly solo, just to prevent injury. But I used to be in a ska band. Really? Is that true? Oh, okay. The Janitors. What? Yes.

Oh, wow. Yeah, we were like those bossy, bossy mite tones. Yes. Yeah, wow. Yeah, we were like those bossy, bossy mite tones or whatever they're called. So you had a lot of those checkered vans. Checkered pasts, actually. Most of the members were criminals. And also real janitors. Yes, real janitors and overalls.

Oh, you had a uniform. Oh, of course. We were janitors. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we had the past. With the theme, all right. Oh, yeah, yeah. Go deep. Go deep were janitors. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we had the patch with the theme. Oh, yeah, yeah. Go deep. Go deep with the theme.

Yeah, yeah. That's cool. What did you call your groupies? Oh. Janitoids. The dish racks. Ah, the dish racks. Yeah, dish racks.

That purple stuff you throw on the floor. We started with that, but it's... It's too long. It's too long. Yeah, yeah. And probably some of them

didn't like that term. I would guess. We do always peel back a layer with you, Flula. There's still a lot that we're learning. Thank you. Just like your logo for Inside Conan, a photo of Conan's skull. Right, right. The inside of his puss.

Is this show sponsored by Ruth Bolton? Ruth Bolton? I've just been watching Game of Thrones and his house flays his prisoners living. No? Oh yeah, Roose. He's awful. Yeah, he was Warden of the North. Ramsey

Snow. When it became Ramsey Bolton and he was like tormenting Theon Greyjoy removing his peni. You're just watching that now? Oh, for the fifth time. Okay. Because if you remembered all those characters, I'd just be very, very impressed. Michael, I have a stretch routine that involves a side hold on each side for two minutes, and I need to distract myself.

So I watch the watches on the wall. Wow, yeah. Yeah. Is it holed up the fifth time? Oh, yeah. Okay. You learn new things all the time. Yeah. Yeah, it holed up the fifth time? Oh, yeah You learn new things all the time It's like reading the Bible The White Walkers, that's Old Testament

Are fanny packs a German thing? She's got a list I love it No, they are an efficiency thing for me which maybe makes those German I like to wear pants very? No, they are an efficiency thing for me, which maybe makes those German. Yes. I like to wear pants with very tight sometimes, hugging all my items. You can't stick anything in those pockets.

But you know what? I'd like to try. You said earlier that you traveled with a backpack, and I call bullshit now on your little fanny pack. Oh, you can only do one or the other? Yeah. You've not seen the Venn diagram of backpackers with fanny packs? Nope. Well, I'm in that.

Never seen it. Never seen it. I'm in that overlap. All right. No, this makes sense to me. You cannot carry everything in a fanny, Michael. That's right. Why carry anything?

Hey, oh, this is like an Us Magazine segment. What's in your fanny pack? Oh, yes. Delicious. Let's see what's in there. Right now? Yeah. Who packed it best? Show us. I will only show you two items. Delicious. Let's see what's in there. Right now? Yeah. Who packed it best?

I will only show you two items. Okay. There's some personal items in here. Condiments, Michael. Oh, I thought you didn't know that term. There's a pen. There's a pen. This is not just any pen.

You've seen GoldenEye. Oh, GoldenEye. It's a microphone pen. And a wallet. Oh, very. Currency, currency. Not my wallet. Not your wallet.

No, I found it on the street two weeks ago, and I'm just waiting to see someone that looks like it's theirs. Who do you think that wallet belongs to? I love this question. I refuse to open it. It's like if I found your diary on the street. Jessie, I would never read it. Oh, but you would so easily be able to find its owner if you opened it.

But. And saw their license. It belongs belongs to kristin really stewart yes i returned someone's wallet one time yeah what he was so grateful he bought me this beautiful art book it was a weird choice an art book an art book did he know you liked oh i don't know it was just a it was a weird thing he probably was regifting it I was going to say this feels very specific but I still have it it sounds like he found

the art book on the sidewalk yeah gave it to you yeah he assumed he was paying it forward exactly wait Michael

you found a wallet you know what I did and well I called the person and returned it to him he drove over to get it

and did he give you anything I was like and hello I love art I was hinting about some of the artists I love turned it to him he drove over to get it and did he give you anything i was like and hello i've got i was hinting about some of the artists i love and i gotta thank you very much i appreciate it what yeah that's it that's okay i felt it was a good deed all right oh yeah you do what you want someone to do for you karma exactly i really thought more was just the way you said it sounded. No, no.

I just said I did that once too, but there was no remuneration. And all you got was a thanks? Right. Well, you kind of let him know that you were expecting something, whereas I,

he knew. He knew. I sent him a photo of my living room. Oh, of your coffee table. Blank coffee table. Yes. This clear glass needs a little covering.

Hello. That's how you say hello. That's how we started your book ending. And now we're going to make up stuff you've done with Conan. Oh, great. Yes. Of course. When you went to Serbia.

Oh, we played Twister in that airport. Yes, yes. In Finland, in Helsinki. We did. Remember, you got diverted to Helsinki. Of course. I let the entire Pan Am staff defeat us. Right. This was in the late 80s.

This was in the late 80s. Well, there's a time travel machine at the Helsinki airport. That's correct. You go in, you can go back and play Pan Am Twister. But not too far. Not too far. That's right. That's right. That or in, you can go back and play Pan Am Twister. But not too far. Not too far.

That's right. That's right. That or the TWA terminal. One of the two. The great thing is the Pan Am reference will still work four years from now. Yes. That's true. It's just as defunct now.

So we're covered. We're covered. But you did spend a lot of time with Conan on planes and in airports. Yes. What do you like to do with Conan during the downtime? Oh, I like to improvise and do bits. Conan loves to do this.

Yes. I was, I know how to do. I've started talking like you. I realized, do people, people do that when they're around a foreign accent that they, they start to match it.

What are you matching? Please tell me more. What are you doing? No, I just, I, I think I said, yes.

Oh, yes. Yes. Do I say this? No, I don't I think I said yes. Oh. Yes. Yes. Do I say this? No, I don't know. I'm just, I feel like I'm creating an accent. Sounds like a Portuguese grandmother. I don't know.

Oh, I like to play card games and card tricks. So I would show for Colin some tricks of cards. Like, oh, is this your card perhaps? I don't know. Oh, it is. Was it real magic? Like, you know those tricks or is it a bit? Like someander it's really i just mean are you doing a thing where you're like oh is this your card and it's never his card oh like a bit like a joke oh no no it's actually the court yes

yes okay you know that how do you know how to do that i went to las vegas with my parents they tried to get me into the casino a stardust, when I was only 15 years old. I did not look old enough. So I stayed in the motel and then I learned with a book how to do all of the tricks of chords. And where were you with your parents when you turned to the trombone? Yes. Oh, this was a grade seven? Grade seven?

Yeah, we were at a jazz club in Dresden. And they wouldn't let you in? They would not let me in once more, but there was a man there taking a smoky break and he's like, hey, boy,

want to blow on my horn? And I was like, sounds good. Does it involve your anus? He said no and so we played. What a beautiful wrap up. It all worked out.

Yeah. You knew how to wrap, bring it all together. Thank you. That was the end of the Herald. Yes, it was. Exactly. Thank you the end of the Herald. Yes, it was. Thank you for your suggestion. Well, Fula, thank you so much for coming back.

Thank you, Jessie. Thank you, Michael. Thank you. What a joy. Thank you. And hopefully once again, your memory of talking to us will wear off and we'll do this again in two years. Yeah, we have forgotten we will say the exact same things. Marzipan.

Yeah. So many marzipan references. We're all just AIs, aren't we? Yeah. At this point. Might as well be. Well, give this podcast a like. A like and subscribe.

What are you doing? Comment and subscribe on the places. Serious. Now your parents will never listen to this. Yeah, they won't. I thought you said there was an irony in Germany. Was that what that is? Yeah.

Cool. Oh, you meant it. Okay, five stars. Yeah, I meant it. Thanks, guys. Thanks. Thanks, Flora. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Thank you, Danka, to Flula Borg for joining us. It's always great to see Flula. I know. He's a force of nature. A ray of sunshine. He is.

He's the best. And his clothing, I always love his clothing choices. I do too. I know. I feel it's inspiring. It's very, like, I don't know that he's bought clothes in the last 20 years, but maybe even 40 years. His clothes have not been made in the last 20 years. And you know what?

It's time for one of our favorite segments that we do every week, fan questions. Yay. And we have one today from Ruth Sanga. I hope I'm pronouncing it correctly. Hi, Mike and Jesse. I love the podcast so much. Thanks for making me laugh and brightening up my life every week. Oh, thanks, Ruth.

Wow. That's really sweet. Whose idea was it to sneak Conan a dictionary on the, wow, she has the date, on the February 13th, 2003 episode of Late Night with Conan O'Brien after Jennifer Garner incorrectly corrected Conan's use of the word snuck, ingenious, from a longtime Conan fan who loves you. Oh, how sweet. Ruth. Thank you, Ruth, for those nice words. It's a good question, too.

I love this question because I actually know the answer. I know the answer to this. Who snuck Conan in that dictionary? Our longtime late night Tonight Show and Conan on TBS writer Michael Gordon. Michael, are you there? Yes, I am. Hey, sweetie. Hey, Jesse.

Hi, Gordo. How are you? Great to see you, Gordo. I'm good. How are you guys? Yes, I am. Hi, Gordo. How are you? Great to see you, Gordo. I'm good. How are you guys? Good. We're good. Thank you for doing this.

You bet. This question came up this morning, and it was like, oh, let's try to get Michael Gordon because he is the man with the answer. Yeah. Well, I do love that question because it's a fun story. So I'm up on the ninth floor. The writers and staff are up on the ninth floor watching on the monitor. In 30 Rock. Sorry, just to say. In 30 Rock.

Yeah. Yeah, 30 Rock back in New York. And the show is shot on the sixth floor. So I'm watching the show with Kylie, Brian Kylie, the writer I share an office with. And Jennifer Garner says the ridiculous thing about snuck. And I say to Kylie, no, that's wrong. She's totally wrong. And we have this. Can you explain what exactly happened between her and Conan? She was telling a story and she talked about she sneaked into something. And then there was some usual thing in the interview.

And then Conan picked it up again and said, you snuck in. And she jumped on that and said, no, snuck isn't a word. You went to Harvard. You should know that. And it was very funny. And Conan played it really, really well. And so I heard her say that. And I said to Kylie, no, she's wrong. And we had this bright red hardcover dictionary in our office.

Of course. And I got the dictionary and I showed Kylie and I said, I'm going to run down there and, you know, see if maybe we can get it to him in time. So I dashed down the hall and around the corner and dashed to the stairwell. And I burst through the doors and I looked down and there's Brian McCann holding an identical dictionary, half a flight down. He was literally two seconds ahead of me with the same dictionary. And Brian McCann is, of course, was another writer on Late Night at the time. Yes. Thank you. So, yeah. So we both raced down the stairs.

We raced down the hallway to the airlock where the studio is. And, you know, McCann gets there first. And his dictionary gets onto the show. And Conan is hilarious, you know, proving to Jennifer Garner that she's dead wrong. And it's a really fun clip and it was almost my dictionary um if if i hadn't if i hadn't wasted time talking to kylie i think maybe we'll never know or if you run faster it would have been my dictionary well mccann's office was closer to the stairwell, which is true. No, mine was.

Okay, it's time to help you. Well, I'm embarrassed. Thank you, Sweens. Well, I'm embarrassed because we shouldn't be talking to you at all. We should have been talking to Brian McCann. I know. You're going to edit this out, and you're just going to talk to McCann now. I feel terrible that we're talking to you and not the man who actually made it happen.

So wait, you and McC the man who actually made it happen. Wow. That's so wait, you and McCann show up at the studio. There's an airlock, like the double doors that go in the studio. How did that book actually get to Conan? Was there a commercial break or was it in the middle of the segment? There was a commercial break. And I'm guessing that McCann,

you'll have to ask him. McCann must've gotten the attention of Steve Hollander, the stage manager. And then they probably approached Jeff Ross, who then probably approached Conan and said, hey, we've got this. And Conan probably said, yes, give that to me. And then he, you know, if you watch the clip,

he played it really, really well. Yeah, he got her back. Oh, that's so great. But yeah, it would be terrifying to get to burst open the doors and it's like, it's too late. They've already come back. Which is often the way things go. It is one of the funniest images I have in my head of those days. I could see it, McCann on the stairs, racing down with the exact same dictionary.

It was just so funny. Were you mad? You had to be kind of mad. Like, God damn it. Yeah. We're all competitive. I'm competitive.

Sure. Of course. Absolutely. Oh, we should explain to listeners what a dictionary is. Oh, right. Right.

You said a red book that youphones. That you could carry. What would people do now, actually? Race down with their computers? That's right. You'd have to grab your laptop and a really long extension cord. Well, I love that you both have the same great idea. I mean, that's a good sign that you're in the right place. Right.

The right writing staff. and i love that we had the answer for a question usually we just make stuff up we do this is the closest we've gotten we were one away layers that's right uh yeah no those are the some of my favorite moments when i'm trying to think of some other moments like that that would happen in the middle of the show where. I can think of one other time when they called me to race down. Okay. It was toward the end of the show and Jimmy Page had just sung with Counting Crows. Yeah.

And Chris just was sitting next to Conan. He'd mentioned he was disappointed that he didn't get to see the masturbating bear because he was a big fan of the character. And my phone rings two seconds later. They say, get down here. You got to put on the costume. So I raced down. I put on the costume. And I go out.

And during the good nights, you see me suddenly appear. And Chris Robinson of Black Rose is delighted to see me. And we chris robinson of black crows yeah uh is delighted to see me and we have a fun interaction he puts his legs out and i do my thing right in between him and stuff and jimmy page is sitting there which is huge and that's really fun and uh so that was another last minute race down the stairs moment it's like a superhero moment it. This time I had to put on my costume. Yeah. You're right. After that, you realized you need to have the masturbating bear costume with you at all times. Yes.

Or just come to work dressed as the masturbating bear. Put it under your clothes like Superman. To save time. And you could pull off your regular clothes. They should have installed a pole so when I slide down from the ninth floor to the sixth floor, I appear as the bear. Oh, that's good. We should have ended every show with the masturbating bear coming out during the credits instead of like the snl cast waving

our version is the bear and i guess uh we should explain you were the masturbating bear yes oh yeah of course rarely someone else would dom the costume only if you were in firm or doing something else. But you could tell. You could tell if it wasn't you doing it. You really did have an essence. The technique was off. It was. Yeah.

It was. No one hit a diaper like you. Well, thank you for joining us. Yes. It's great to see you. You betcha. Thank you for having me. And telling us a story about Brian McCann.

That was great. Yes. Thank you, And telling us a story about Brian McCann. That was great. Yes. Thank you, Ruth, for this question about Brian McCann. Yes. Thanks, Gordo. Talk to you soon. Yeah, talk to you soon. We'll read more questions.

Bye. Bye. Bye. That's fun. I appreciate his honesty. Yeah. Because he could have easily taken credit for that. That's right.

Well, no. Then you'd hear from McCann. McCann will never know. McCann doesn't listen to this. We'll see. We'll find out. And hey, we love your Lister questions. Please keep sending them in.

Please. You can email us at InsideConanPod at gmail.com. Or if you want to leave a voicemailail 323-209-1079. And if you like this show, you can also support us by rating Inside Conan on iTunes and leaving us a review. You could ask your question there.

We read those too. So many avenues open to you. Yeah, we're available. We're accessible. We are. And most importantly, we love you. Oh, importantly, we love you. Oh, yes, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or whatever platform you like best.

It's the Conan Show. Put on your hat. It's the Conan Show. Try on some spats. You're gonna have a laugh. Give birth to a calf. It's Conan. This has been a Team Coco production.