Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Jack McBrayer Revisits His Many Late Night Deaths

Episode Date: January 14, 2022

Jack McBrayer joins writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to discuss the many ways he was killed/abused on Late Night, going on tour with Conan, getting vomited on by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, and how his experience as a Late Night actor helped him land his role on 30 Rock.We’re also joined by Sona Movsesian to answer some listener questions and discuss the new season of Sona Fixes Your Life!Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail]

And now it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hi, hello. Welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. I'm Mike Sweeney, and you are? I'm Jesse Gaskell. Always Jesse Gaskell. I remain. Yes. Jesse Gaskell.

How are you? It's nice to see you and hear you again. It's good to see you too. Yes. I like your little friend. We've got another guest. Yes. Here, well, in your room. He just showed up while we were setting up Michael Meowers. Uh-huh.

He's a neighborhood black cat. He's a Hollywood. He's a Hollywood cat. Cat, because his owner played Michael Myers in the original Halloween. Did he have any lines in that, or does he just walk around really slowly? I heard he ad-libbed up a storm, and they're like, thank God he's wearing a mask and we can just cut them all out. No one will ever know.

And he's been angry since. He's never gotten over it. Oh, yeah. Now he's really murdering people. I don't think he had the lines. And you know, he's a movie director in his own right. So he has a black cat that he named Michael Meowers. Get it?

Yes. And he's kind of a, he's an outdoor cat, which there aren't a lot of in LA because they get gobbled up right away by coyotes. Oh, yeah.

But this cat is like, he's a wild man. Like if you... I think coyotes are probably afraid of him. I honestly think that. I honestly, I don't... He turns on the Halloween music

and just walks slowly towards them. Coyotes are very gullible. They think Halloween is real. The movie's real. And so any connection between this cat and that movie terrifies him. But that's wild. So the cat just shows up sometimes at your door. He shows up every day.

He just shows up. Well, and the really crazy part was you let him in. I love cats. You let him inside. I like cats. I enjoy day. He just shows up. Well, and the really crazy part was you let him in. I love cats. You let him inside. I like cats. I enjoy cats. He's cool. But a neighbor we found out let him in and they had just moved in. And I think the wife went to pick him up and he just scratched her like crazy. Like I picked him up the first time he came in the house and he went insane on me he's got boundaries oh my god he bit me and clawed me but till i got him out out of the house well so what how when he comes inside it's like you just let him have the run of the place because everyone's too afraid to say no well we all like him so we enjoy having him come visit he's a cool cat and he kills

rats like you know there are rats out outside yes he'll show up with the dead rat every now and then so he's oh he's an asset all the way around that's great yeah i love you're right though that is very rare for a cat to last this long yeah in los angeles an outdoor cat it's unbelievable i see a lot of pretty much my entire next door feed is filled with just people with lost cats and it's like guys it ain't coming back i have never gone on next door i hear it's it's it's worse than Twitter. Or racist. Oh, God. Oh, man.

No, I don't want to know. Like, I don't think I want to know about my neighbors. I like that we don't. Yeah, it's better not to know. It's very formal. Like, hello, how are you? Good day to you as well. Nice weather we're having.

Well, I see you left your recycling can out a day too late. It's very. Passive aggressive. Oh, that would be. No. It's very... Passive aggressive. Oh, that would be. No, it's very surface sweet. Yeah. And the less I know, the better. Well, hey, do I sound different?

Because I am in a hotel room right now. You don't sound that different to me. Okay. I was like, wait, what do you have? Well, I brought all my same, I brought all my recording equipment. I packed it all. Yes.

But I, you know this already, of course. I do. But I wanted to share that I have a little short-term job doing something I've always wanted to do, which is doing punch-up on a movie. That is such a great job. Those are the jobs you hear about where you're like, uh... Oh, you don't have to write the full script. You don't have to do the hard part. You just show up when they're filming and you throw out little funnies and see what takes,

which I think you're perfect for. I think it's a perfect job for you. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's great to take something that someone already has mostly finished and then add little cherries on top. The first time I heard about those jobs, I was like, what world do we live in that something that wonderful could exist? I know. I always had this fantasy of like, oh, I'll get flown in for like day right and then you just get paid your whole year

salary for that one day i heard a story about someone who got flown to new york to punch up a script and he did it for two and he was kind of a hot shot screenwriter at that point this is supposedly a harvey weinstein story oh and uh he wrote it for two days and then harvey weinstein i, was in Europe, but like over a speakerphone. I guess he didn't like any of the changes. The way he told him was, he goes, you came here on a jet, and you're going back on a bus.

Oh, that's great. Yeah. This is a real Hollywood podcast. It really is. I feel like, you know, I mentioned Mike Myers, and I got into Harvey Weinstein. You got into Harvey Weinstein. Who knows who's next? Well, I'm glad you're talking about what you're doing, because I didn't want to mention it,

because I thought it was like top secret, and you're not allowed to really. Well, I'm not going to say details just yet. Great. I can kind of talk in broad strokes, I think. But when the movie comes out, oh my God, you'll be insuff oh yeah insufferable oh god can you imagine seeing that movie with you you'd be like that's mine that was mine oh that that was me except no it'll probably be like uh no i i almost had a line for that right i had a much better line i can't i had a line but they they cut it in post they didn't let me in the edit room They made some bad choices It's not on me

It was a bad Bad screening audience Right Should have been there To warm them up Right Right Well that's exciting

And Yeah Yeah But I'm still doing the podcast Oh my god You have your priorities straight Don't worry Yeah

Talking about my neighborhood cat Trump's Being on set right now Right now they're like Where the Where the fuck is she? Oh no, they're holding for me. They're talking about Mike's cat.

It's not even his cat. It's, yeah. Of course. But they all know, they all know the cat. Right. Well, so do they know now that you- That I have a podcast? Or did they just assume?

I think they probably assume. You have to tell them you don't have a podcast exactly yeah no i did i did tell them but um i'm i'm doing this outside of work hours of course but i told them kind of hoping like oh maybe we'll get some new listeners or potentially guests who knows uh that would be very exciting yeah i'll just grab any one i can let's just assume any guests from now on is in your movie that's what i'm the rumor i'm gonna start yeah yeah let's say that and then that'll really confuse people about what the movie is so you're doing a movie with jack mcbrayer that is so exciting wow great what a segment hey we had we do have

jack mcbrayer on the show today. Yes. And he's truly one of our favorite people. Yeah. Not a bad thing to say about that guy. One of Conan's favorite people. Yes. I don't know if people know, when he first moved to New York, he was working at the UCB, and he started getting spots in sketches on Late Night back in the early aughts.

And then he never stopped. Yeah, he's really been with the show through every incarnation of it. Yes. I think. Including podcasts. Oh, and stay tuned at the end because we have a special treat, a little conversation, and some Q&A with Sonam Obsessian. Yeah.

Action-packed episode. Enjoy. Hi, welcome. Hi, welcome. Hi, Jack. Welcome. Hello. Thank you for having me. I think you need no introduction. For fans of Conan, you've been a part of the show for over 20 years. Almost 20 years.

Just about 20. 2002 is when I moved to New York. Right. And that's when they started using me on the show. Yeah, you moved there from Chicago. Correct. Where you had come up through the improv scene there. That is correct.

Sketching improv, I was at ImprovOlympic, I was at Second City, and a lot of Conan's writers at Late Night with Conan O'Brien had come from that same world. So it was one of those things when I moved to town, they were like, McBrayer's in town. Let's throw him into a sketch. So it wasn't like you had to go and audition for the talent producer or anything.

It was just like, he's offer only. We're bringing in Jack McBrayer. He was highly vouched for. Highly vouched for, highly vetted, and no one else could play a constipated Washington Monument like Jack McBrayer. I don't remember it was constipated. Was that your first appearance?

No, my first appearance was a Brian Stack piece called Overly Confident New Prison Inmate. Right. That was March of 2002. I think it was part of a larger piece and I could not remember. I think, was it called New Characters? Okay. It was just a new character. Yeah.

That was a good catch-all piece where nothing had to fit together. It was just. It was just a random pot of soup. I remember that clip so well because you were so funny and all the writers, they were just like so excited because this little world opened up of like, oh my God, this guy's great. And we can start trying to think of more reasons to get him back here right away. To abuse me.

I know that guy will say yes to anything. Oh. He has no bottom. That sketch is so quick and funny. That was great. And also, too, I will say, I hope I'm not jumping too deep into the conversation, but working on that show with that group of writers and everything, that was the first time I ever experienced anyone writing for me,

for me specifically, for my voice, all that kind of thing. At Second City and ImprovOlympic, we're always creating material, creating content, but it came from me. It came from the group or whatever. So this is the first time I was ever, I mean, one, in a professional environment for television, but two, where a staff of writers are writing specifically for my voice. That was really cool. Yeah, that's interesting.

So was that the first, I mean, for you personally, was that like, oh, maybe this is, maybe I want to pursue acting in this way versus like having to generate all my own material? I was like, phew, I've been working too hard all these years. Let these guys do the heavy lifting. It wasn't like that at all. I mean, I do have to say it was, I don't want to say a double-edged sword, but there's one thing, like, it is such an ego boost when, you know, you have these talented people whose job it is to write comedy

who are writing specifically for you. So, like, I was like, oh, my God, this is amazing. You know, John Glazer wrote this for me, Kevin Dorff, Alison Silverman, Jose Arroyo. All these people are writing specifically for me. But then the other part was like, oh, I can't mess this up. Their job depends on me. Well, it was that classic thing of everything you did would do well. And then Conan immediately fell in love with you because you were money in the bank, which is a term he always used. Yeah.

You knew Conan would already be on board the second they came out through the curtain because it's the first time Conan's seen these sketches at rehearsal. So everyone started writing for Jack McBrayer because it was like, okay, this won't get cut. Well, and I could see as a writer, I mean, sometimes you're not sure about something you've written. You're like, this might not be great. But then if you put Jack McBrayer in it to sell it. He will sell it like a prostitute.

If only we could get him to smile. That's all I know. I am a a prostitute. If only we could get him to smile. That's all I know. I am a one-trick pony. Wait, were you ever in anything that got cut? I never thought about that. So many times. Oh, wow. Some of it was for time.

Some of it, it just, you know, the bit was a little too absurd or whatever. There was one instance that makes me laugh. I will protect the innocent and not name names. One writer brought me in and this writer was like, there's a 95% chance this bit will be cut.

But Conan was in a bad mood, so we needed to bring you in. Oh, just to cheer on Conan. I know, so like shiny quarter, shiny quarter. Right. Like a lamb for slaughter. I was like, do I get paid?

They're like, yes. I'm like, yay. I'll do it. It still sounds like extra pressure. It's like, wait, I'm in a sketch, plus I have to somehow cheer this guy up? Okay. Oh, gosh, no, no, no, no. I felt no obligation there, for sure.

Good. But also, y'all would call me in and sometimes bits got cut even before we put them on their feet just because of time or you changed the whole segment or whatever. But my favorite part was I think I would still get paid even just for showing up, but then you get a security

pass to let you in the building. So I got to go to the NBC commissary at Rockefeller Center where you could get a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a drink for like $4.25. I did not have two nickels to rub together. So I was just like, this is the best. I'm in New York. There's Katie Couric.

Write me into any sketch that's going to get cut. Because that means lunch. Yeah, no. The regular sketch people had that down like they knew it was a very moving, changing situation. And when something got cut, they're just like not a problem. Fine. I got the hair

and makeup. Yep. Yeah. I'm going to get a cheeseburger and go out on a town. I'm going to be walking through Midtown. I'm skipping rush hour traffic. This is fantastic. Everybody wins. Well, so when you first came in to do stuff for Conan, or for Late Night, you already knew some of the writers there, it sounds like. So you were kind of familiar, and maybe that helped you feel more comfortable.

How was it, your first time meeting Conan? Oh, terribly intimidating. I guess I would have technically met him the day of the first bit, overly confident new prison inmate. So you were already in character to be overly confident. I don't know. It's the Jack McBray way. But technically we met, but I never engaged or had conversations with him. I do remember the first time he like gave me a compliment, like to me. We were backstage.

It was a John Glazer bit and I was dressed like a male cheerleader with one of those like megaphones, you know, like from 1940s. Rah, rah, rah. Right. And the stage manager at the time, Paul Taurasio, was standing there with me.

And Conan was coming down the hallway in, what was it? 6H? What was the stage? 6A. About to go into the studio and stuff. And I'm sitting there and we all just kind of hug the wall and look elsewhere. And he comes right up to me.

He's like, hey, what's your name? And I go, oh, Jack McBrayer. And he goes, I like your work. look elsewhere and he comes right up to me he's like hey what's your name and i go oh jack mcbror and uh he goes i like your work oh well oh thank you very much he goes yeah you're very funny i was like thank you very much and then he walks away and then he punched you and then he punched me and then that was the end of my career thanks no and then paul tarasio was just like i've never ever seen him do that and so that that, I mean, that was... Yeah, a sincere compliment from Conan. That was a big deal.

It's a big deal. I've always, always, always enjoyed and I guess in a way craved making someone laugh who you really admire and who you've, you know've enjoyed their work for so long. And also just people who've been around the block. We had a stage manager at Second City who retired after over 40 years. I will never forget being on stage. If you can make Craig Taylor laugh, I mean, that is a feather in your cap. Right. Yes.

So people like that, the Conan O'Briens, the Tina Fey's, the Mike Sweeney's, the people in your life that you can make laugh, that, it feels good. It feels good. Yeah, because there are people who don't give it up. You know that they're not fake laughing. Exactly. Exactly. To be fair, I think there is value in failure in your comedy. For one thing, especially with improv, I mean, I've failed so much and would still continue failing if I was doing more improv. It makes me not scared of failure because what happens? You get up there and a bit falls flat. So what? It didn't kill me. You just keep going. So yeah, I'm not poo-pooing it. When you moved to New York and started performing in New York, did you need to do side jobs there?

Were you making? Absolutely. Oh, okay. I was temping at an entertainment law office. Oh. And, I mean, I was, like, taking dictation and stuff. I am not good at that. It was wild.

Like, you have to press this button and rewind. Also, it's all this jargon that I didn't know. It was one of those things where I thought I was writing the right things, and then the lawyer had to come over and be like, none of this makes sense. Like, this is different than law and order. It was so weird. Well, so when you started doing sketches on Conan, were you getting recognized for that stuff on the street?

Like, were you getting to enjoy a little bit of fame, at least? I think this one drunk guy outside of a Duane Reade recognized me for my Conan bit. That was me. That was Mike Sweeney. Also, it was, you know, a late night show. So nobody in my family was watching it. Even when you told them you were going to be on? Well, I learned pretty quickly, don't always do that because you don't told them you were going to be on well i learned pretty quickly don't always do that because you don't know if you are going to make it on that's a great point

so many people have said that they're like the first thing i learned right especially on our show don't call home yeah because a lot of times things are cut in the editing room after the show after the show and it went show. And it went well. So there's no indicator that you shouldn't, you know, trumpet to all your family and friends that you're going to be on show. And I've heard so many stories where people, the performer didn't even know they were cut. Right.

And then their family is like, what the, you made us stay up till 1.30. Which one were you? Were you the constipated Washington money? Because I saw it. Yeah, wait. Can you describe that sketch to me? I don't think I've seen that one. Was it constipated? Constipated Washington

Monument. I thought you added that. I have a list. I can forward this to you. Oh, sure. Constipated. Oh, do you have a list of all your appearances on late night? Every single one. And then actually I have a little addendum that says ways that I've died slash been abused. This is fantastic. Both on and off screen.

What were your favorite ways of dying? Let me look at the list of ways of dying. Hit with a dumbbell. I've been shot multiple times. I've been punched. I've been drowned in an aquarium. I've been pepper sprayed. Hit with a bat, hit with a bottle. I had my dreams sucked out of my head by a monster.

Which would probably end in death. Stung by bees. I've been hit with a wrench. I've been sprayed by a whale, run over by the desk, mauled by a bear, ground up in a meat grinder. This was all one sketch. This was one sketch. Oh, the meat grinder. I remember that.

Oh, my God. You remember the meat grinder. Yeah. Sorry. Keep going. More times, please. I mean, then it's just like Jesus throws a fruit tray in my face. I mean, just like, y'all do some weird, weird stuff.

But I was just like, okay, let's do it. And after each one, Conan was like, you know what? I like your stuff. I like what you do. Really funny. Nice to meet you, sir. Every sketch ended with Jack McBrayer dying. I would start getting paranoid.

I guess I do great death scenes. I didn't care. I really, really liked it. And plus, all of y'all were so nice. It would be different if it was like a bunch of douchebags. But it was always fun to come to work. And I'm all of y'all were so nice. It would be different if it was like a bunch of douchebags, but it was always fun to come to work. And I'm sure that there was a lot of stuff. Y'all had late nights and all this kind of stuff.

But for me to just come and play and then get paid for it and then get that bacon cheeseburger, I was king of the hill. I really, really enjoyed that time. Which you need to deduct from your income tax because of your accounting. You need to deduct that cheeseburger. I itemized everything. And I will say this. I mean, like, that was a point in my life. I don't think I've ever been shy about the fact that I am a person who might not be built for life in New York City for very long term. So I do prefer just the pace and the sunshine of Los Angeles or anywhere else.

But I have to say, when I was younger, and strangely, when I didn't have any money, I treasured those days in New York City more than even later. You know, after several years of being on a network tv show and having a paycheck i had more fun just being broke and coming to do bits with y'all right and then staying up late for dumb improv shows you know it just and i'm sure youth is the yeah is the equivalent of all that but um but you also feel like things are starting to percolate you know so it's true it's true you do feel like oh are starting to percolate. It's true. You do feel like, oh, I'm getting traction.

It was just a point in your life that it felt good. I was surrounded by a great community of friends and talent. I look back very fondly on those days. It is kind of an unusual situation, especially for New York City, I think, to have

this great improv group you could work with, plus this TV show that was using you all the time. That's kind of a— Three times a week, yeah. Like, you joke, but like, it was pretty fantastic. Y'all kept me afloat. Y'all paid my bills. And I was so proud, you know? I was just like, I had arrived at that point, you know,

and then you go on to do like a network TV show and like, Oh, that's adorable. Oh, now I've arrived. Yeah. Yeah. I was doing y'all a favor. That was so exciting when you were on 30 rock, because now we'd have you do cameos and all that. It was a totally different thing. Yeah. You were, instead of kill, maybe we kept killing you. I don't remember. A few times.

You were Jack McBrayer now in the crowd. Yeah. I know. It's been a treat. Well, yeah, I was wondering if that was how the Conan staff found out. It was they tried to call you in for a small bit and you were like, um, I'm on a sitcom now. Oh, sweetie, sweetie, honey, honey, sweetie. No, okay.

So actually the Conan crew comes into play with me getting 30 Rock. You want to hear that story? Yes, of course. Oh, yeah, for sure. Okay. So I lived in New York from 2002 to 2005 doing bits for Conan, doing my UCB, having a blast. After three years, I was like, this has been fun. I'm broke and I'm

freezing cold. And at that point, you know, SNL wasn't buying what I was selling. I've done my Conan bits. I've done my ASCAP. I was like, okay, there's not too much more I can be doing right now. And I'm freezing cold all the time. Moved to LA. Lost my tan. To be broke and tan. And so I was out here and I was hustling and I was here for about a year. Had to come to New York for like an improv festival or something. So it would have been July of 2005.

I was back here. Back in New York. And at that point, Tina got wind that I was in town. She was like, hey, we're doing auditions for the untitled Tina Fey pilot. You're in town. Would you swing by the casting office and put yourself on tape? I was like, yep.

Yeah. So I knew the role, Kenneth the Page, and I don't think it's any secret. I think Tina had me in mind when she wrote the role of Kenneth. Yeah. So I was like, okay, I need to crush this audition. What do I do? You know, they made me dress up like a page on more than one occasion over at Conan. That's true. Surely they have a page jacket that fits me. Called up the Conan page desk, had them send me to wardrobe. Y'all lent me a page uniform. Your makeup department put a little color on my face and I auditioned dressed up like a page. So somewhere in the

archives of 30 Rock is my audition tape using the Conan page uniform and wearing Conan makeup. Oh, I guess I might've just threw some people under the bus. I owe somebody money now. And that helped me get the job. It's me. God, I would be curious to see that footage, except I won't because I'm sure I look like an infant. You look the same now, I think.

Oh, God. Stop fishing. Yeah. Right. But yeah, it was because of my connections at Conan that y'all hooked me up. That's great. And I think that really, truly helped me get the gig because y'all know I can't act. Right. I love she wrote the part with you in mind. Yeah. Knowing the executive producer and having it written for you had nothing to do with it. But it was the jacket that sealed the deal.

It all helps. It all helps. It all helps. And for what it's worth, that taped audition, that's the one that went to network, to studio. So, they had to audition once. Wow. And that's something. That's great. That's kind of rare. Yeah. Oh, that's great. And like you said, they had already, you had

already played some version of an intern or page. So, you know, maybe somewhere that incepted tina faye to think like oh we have to also if you've seen me act it's it's a it's a limited range dear so if you've seen it once doing bits i'm sure that the sort of jack mcbrayer character was some version of of you but did you feel like you started kind of making it even more exaggerated and were you like like, oh, I'm going to really hone who this is while you started doing bits? I wish I could credit the Conan bits for that.

But I think really and truly it came from improv. And just, you know, when you know your strengths and you know your weaknesses, you want to maximize your assets, minimize your liabilities. This is perhaps a little more hippy-dippy, but just realizing and embracing what do I bring to the table? What is specific about me that will add value, enhance, you know, that kind of thing. Add inventory. Add inventory. To your comedy. Shut up, surplus. Ledger. So, yes, I think I was able to utilize that in the Conan bits for sure. But, again, the credit goes to the writers for realizing that that could be utilized. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I mean, I think you're right that improv also is giving you sort of immediate feedback all the time, too.

So you're constantly learning what is making people laugh and what's not working. And just like AI, you're just kind of honing yourself as a as an algorithm. You just called me a robot? What's happening? She did. How dare you, madam? I didn't mean you. You were looking right at me.

I can see you. I have honed myself to only receive laughs in all interactions. God bless. How was it for you when you first appeared on Conan as yourself? So not in a sketch, but getting to be on the panel. It was really weird. I might be mixing up my appearances, but I think the first one might have been in like 2000s. You know I have them, except I have them on the calendar app and not a spreadsheet.

Damn. But I think it would have been season one of 30 Rock, but I think 2007, so in the second half of the season. Right. And I'm almost positive if I'm doing the math right, Sasha Baron Cohen was on As Borat. Oh, wow. Which is fun because I had just worked with Sasha on Talladega Nights, which we filmed in 2005 and came out in 2006. Uh-huh.

So I already had a good rapport with him. And, of course, you know, his talk show appearances are much more noteworthy than mine. You were back then when he was in character, right? Right? Oh, yeah. Yes. But it was so cool to be, you know, being on the same show as another person I'd admire. And I mean, he was so, I know he would deny saying,

he was so effusive. He was like, look at you, Jack, you've made it. I was like, oh, I did, I really did. I know, I know, I really like it. Has anyone ever been mean to you? I know. I was like, oh, I did. I really did. I know. I know. I really like it. Has anyone ever been mean to you? I know. I mean, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, there's some people in life who are just mean. Well, sure. But in terms of, you know, and there are some, a very small handful of actors who, for whatever reason, will try to tear you down and also i'm old enough where i just don't care yeah i just don't care i don't have time or the energy for that and they're just miserable they hate themselves you know i mean people like that show their hand so clearly exactly you know what uh one of my favorite bits was it it was so exciting, Julia Louise Dreyfuss was on, and she had lost, I guess she had lost an Emmy to Tina Fey.

And it was a sketch. I don't know who came up with it, but it was great. She and Conan went up to steal the statue back. And it was during the High to 30 Rock. And they break into Tina's office, grab the Emmy, run out. And then the great thing is you're there as Kenneth the page confronting them. She whips you against the wall and then Conan gratuitously comes back and shoves you. But I just loved.

Does not make sense. Just you coming back on the show as this character. It was just a great. Any time. But it was a fun moment. No, I love it. I mean, first of all, any time y'all ask me to do a bit, of course I'm going to say yes. But then you're like, okay.

And then Julia Louis-Dreyfus threatens you with an Emmy. I'm like, okay. Is that on your list? Right after The Tonight Show ended, Conan went out on tour. He did a 42-city tour. And you were a big part of that. I loved it. That was such a highlight.

Yes, you were on the first show. This is how beloved you were and how much Conan loves you and how you put him at ease. How much you cheer him up. The old punching bag McBrayer. You were on the first live show in Eugene, Oregon. Yeah, yeah.

You were on the show we did in LA. Yeah. And then you were on the final show in in Eugene, Oregon. Yeah, yeah. You were on the show we did in LA. Yeah. And then you were on the final show in Atlanta. In Atlanta? Yeah. I loved that so much because, I mean, I hope if you have not picked up already in this podcast, I'm his biggest fan and I would do anything for that old goat. On the tour, he would bring out a celebrity to do the— Walker, Texas Ranger. Walker Walker Texas Ranger Lever.

So yeah, Eugene, Oregon, which I'd never been to before. And that was amazing. Yeah, anything that fool would ask me to do, I was going to do it. And so it was so fun to be a bookend of that. And I think that's what the documentary was made of when they were filming Conan. So I got to make appearances in that. And I think there was a, that's what the documentary was made of. Right. Like, when they were filming Conan. So I got to make appearances in that. Conan O'Brien can't stop. He

made a lot of fun of you. My God. And remember, there were articles that were like, the one part of the documentary that I hated was when he was so cruel to Jack McBrayer. Right. I was like, y'all. Well, I could tell that you were, I mean, you do a really good straight face, where. I was like, y'all. Well, I could tell that you were, I mean, you do a really good straight face

where you're like pretending to be really hurt. And I mean, it's okay if you were a little bit hurt too. Because he is really mean to you. Not even a little bit. No, but I mean,

that's what kind of sells it is that you're so, you're such a good actor that you're looking hurt. Such a great actor. Jessie, I'm a great actor. I mean, you guys did that routine for years back on Late Night. Like you would, I think a great actor. I mean, you guys did that routine for years back on late night.

I think after a bit, you deliberately walk into the studio and Conan would go, can I help you, sir? And then he'd start making fun of you for being a Southern hit. Sometimes it was so absurd. I wouldn't even say a word. I knew that he knew I was there but he would just start going i smell wet hay terrible just so rude you are so good at acting wounded that i everyone just thought what a

monster yeah conan savaging this poor i this is the first time we haven't seen him smile this poor country pumpkin this poor robot he's just trying to get to his highest level of ai and this man's stopping my sons have a cameo in that scene that's why i love that scene oh my god but and also it's so weird is that you know as grown-ups i just think of us all as the age that I've met us all. Right. But to see your kids as children, and now they are grownups. They are grownups. That is bonkers.

That is weird. That is weird. Do you think of them as grownups, Sweeney? Yeah, you know what? I do. Is this jarring? They do. And they still ask me, is Jack okay after that?

Have the scars healed? Will they ever? Well, and so then once Conan came back on TBS, you were still a part of the show. You might be one of the only people who has context within each of the sort of Conan eras. That can't be true. I mean, there are a few, but you're one of the main ones. I think when Conan came on TBS, I was one of, I think during that first week, I was one of his guests. And also, anytime y'all were trying something new, I loved being part of the test show or anything like that.

It was just fun. Well, and you also got to go back to Chicago, city you love. I did. I did. Once we were on TBS. Yes. We did a week of shows in Chicago, I think in 2012 or 2013? 2012. 2012.

And you came out. I came out and I was a guest on the show. Yes. As well as doing a remote. Yes, he did a very popular remote. Popular remote, yes. With Triumph. Triumph.

The Viener Circle. Covered in vomit. I left right before the vomiting scene was shot. You could sense it was coming. I knew when to leave at 3.30 a.m. Was that 3.30 a.m.? I wish you would have told me. What was so funny about that is that I'm covered in vomit.

And Jason Chalemi, who helps with those segments, I was covered in vomit. I didn't have a backup wardrobe. I didn't have anything. Yeah. And I think Robert Smigel wanted to do another take. And we were like, how? Just get it dry cleaned. And so Chalemi was like, we're getting you home.

So he hailed a cab. Chalemi had to hail the cab because what cab driver is going to stop for someone covered in fake vomit? And so he had to shield me as he put me in the back of the cab. It was late. It was like four in the morning. Yeah, it was after four. I am covered in fake vomit, which is just like vegetable soup or something. Right.

But it was torrential. Still gross. I mean, it came at me. I did not know you were going to get hit. Yeah, I don't think any of us did. You never know. That's the thing with vomit. That's the thing about vomit.

You can't really plan for it coming out of a three inch pipe there's no telling where it might land but that whole week in chicago was super fun and you know i know that uh conan has a connection to chicago so it's not like i was educating him on anything but he lived there for one summer right Right. It was so fun. I love being guests on his TBS show. One of my favorite times was I think in 2011, I was just a guest talking about 30 rock or something. And it was one of those days where he's just in a mood where he was just giggly and silly. And it makes me laugh so hard just to watch the old clips of it. Because he's doing the same old Conan bits where he's like trying to poke me. And, you know, we're just bantering like siblings.

And it's so silly. But just to watch him, you know, get the giggles over the same old bits that he's been doing for years, it makes me laugh. It always makes me laugh. It is what you say. I mean, you said like siblings. I think he does have people he sees as his siblings.

He has a lot of real ones, but I think that you're one of his adopted younger brothers. Adopted siblings. Yeah. Much younger. Oh, much younger. Completely different dad. Yep. Yes.

And also when he has a routine with someone, I think he just loves like, oh, I get to slip right into. Exactly. Yes. It's like an old pair of shoes. Yeah. But yeah, I always love coming on. And also, I mean, like your whole orbit, like seeing all the writers and just the producer, like the camera guys. Like it's always so fun to see familiar people.

It's so wild to like go on to other jobs where some of the Conan people have moved on to other projects and to see them. And it's like, that must be comforting. It really is. You're like in a new studio and it's like, oh, yay. Hey, I know you. Oh, the stage manager. It's great. It's got to just relax you a little bit. You know, all those little things help. Yeah. I mean, it's just an immediate shorthand. Yeah. It's the best. It's the best. That's great. And you're working on a new show that's coming out. I am. You did? I am.

It's called, Hi, Jack! Nope. Hello, Jack. Hey there, Jack. I thought you would have Googled my name before this podcast. It's hello, comma, Jack, exclamation mark, colon. No colon. The Kindness Show. comma, Jack, exclamation mark, colon. No colon. The Kindness Show.

Hello, Jack, The Kindness Show. I added the colon. It was inappropriate. The what? Colon's inappropriate? Well, after an exclamation point, that's two punctuations right next to each other. You know, you are absolutely correct. That is bad style book etiquette. I'm really excited. It's

on Apple and it's a preschool show, but it is sincere and earnest. So I'm curious to know. I'm worried that some people might be like, oh, it's this jamoke. But I really want people to know I'm being serious about wanting to be

a fun, safe place for kids to talk about feelings. And it's, you know, social, emotional messaging. Right. It's a meaningful show, and it came from a very personal place. Oh, that's great. Yeah. And being on Conan all those years had to help prepare you to be on a little children's show, probably.

Well, no, of course, I mean, like I learned, yeah, no, it doesn't apply. Yeah, that's not a real question. So do you get killed or vomited on, on the kind of show? Right, exactly. Yeah, I think that's the lesson that we want kids to take away.

Well, you know, the younger they learn about these things, the better. That's right. And it's on Apple Plus, so you got paid $42 million. That's great. Yes, yes. $42 million, which that's why we do it.

Sure, of course. That's why we do it. No, I really am excited. Yeah, it just sounds really positive. I know. I poured a lot of myself into this, and I'm excited to see what the response is. I really am. And this sounds like something

that parents would want to watch with their kids, too. I hope so. I mean, like, co-viewership was definitely part of the conversation because, I mean, as anyone who has had kids,

some of those shows will make you crazy. Yes. And so we wanted to have a show that parents would be... Not be super annoyed by. Exactly. So, good luck.

I got a real face for animation. But I'm excited about it. It's been cooking in my brain for years, plural. Oh, wow. So this was your pitch, too. Yeah. And so I'm excited that I've been able to birth it and bring it to reality. I'm proud.

This show is your child. It's my baby. Well, Jack, this has been so great. We want to wrap up with you to not take up too much of your time. But do you want to conclude? Do you have a favorite moment with Conan? That could be on or off screen. It could be something that happened behind the scenes that nobody knows about.

God, there are way too many. I remember, like, when we were in Chicago, he would be like, hey, come on, let's go out to dinner. I got to go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant with Conan O'Brien. I hope he paid. He did not. What? It was dine and dash. It was dine and dash.

He threw down a glass and said, come on. But like even hanging out with him in San Diego for Comic-Cons and just doing any dumb bit I would do in a heartbeat. Like, Mike Sweeney, I remember in New York during late night, Will Arnett pushed me into a bunch of boxes, and I think La Bamba was in a wheelchair. And so after that wrapped, they're like, okay, great. That's Jack.

You can go back. And then somebody pitched, hey, can McBrayer wheel La Bamba in at the end of the show? So I'm all the way up on the Upper West Side, get a message from my phone. Hey, can you get down here? Oh, you had already gone home. I had already gone home out of wardrobe. And you were still taping the show, and someone had this idea at the last second. This last-minute bit.

And so I jumped back on the red line, zipped right down there. They suited me. I remember it was like a pit crew, just like pants, pants, shoes, go, go, go. So we did it, and we got it done. Oh, that's great. And we really didn't hold up the show all that much longer. Yeah. But there's so many instances of just wild, stupid, silly, absurd things that it might be hard for me to choose one.

Is that a cop out? No, no. No, no. I love that story where you're already home and like, well, that's that. Get back here. Well, time to go back. Yeah. That was like my first time doing live TV.

You know, improv is always live, but just live TV. And like when bits on the show would fail or whenever there'd be bloopers or whatever. Right. That was special. It was fun. Yeah. Yeah, I got to say, like, especially those early days, that was formative for me in terms of like knowing what I wanted to do with my career and knowing the tone I wanted to set with the people that I worked with. It was, it was, you

know, informative times for me, but also like, it was fun to laugh, you know, it was just good to like go to a job and enjoy yourself. I want to ask one question because we always ask guests to give advice to our listeners, especially those who are kind of interested in the world of comedy. And to me, it's interesting. You lived in Chicago, then you lived in New York for a while, and now probably the longest in LA. But do you have, like if you were talking to someone starting out in comedy, do you have a preference for what city?

Because those are three giant comedy meccas. Do you have a preference where you'd tell somebody to start out? Well, I mean, the good news is I think especially that brand of comedy is pretty prevalent in any of those cities as well as even smaller cities. So if you don't have the coin to move to New York, but there's a pretty fun comedy scene in Cleveland or wherever you live, Eugene, then suss out your resources there first. If you are hell-bent on moving to a big city, then by all means make those plans. So do your research. Find a place that you're kind of vibing with. And then just a very more general note, find the people that you enjoy working with and that you are gaining from their energy, their creativity, that kind of thing. thing that has created my career, but also saved my sanity, kept my creative juices flowing,

surrounding myself with people who I enjoy collaborating with and just creating with. You know, I knew Tina Fey from Chicago. And so unbeknownst to me, I was networking, but like surrounding myself with, you know what? Conan O'Brien said it best on his last night of The Tonight Show. He said, work hard, do good work, be kind to people, and you're going to be fine. You're going to be fine. It sounds overly simplistic, but I hold onto that. I think it's a very important message. That's great advice. And so well put. It's also another plug for Hello Jack, the kindness show. The kindness show.

Perfect. You are good. I'm so good. You are good. That's a perfect place to end. Thank you, Jack. Thank you all very much. This was a lot of fun.

It was a pleasure. This was fun. Thank you, Jack, for joining us. Oh, what a sweetheart. He's hilarious. By the way, my favorite thing, his list of all his Conan appearances and grisly deaths on the show.

Oh, my God. That list, we got our... It exists, yeah. Yes, he sent it to us, and we're posting it on Instagram at teencocopodcast. So check out the list. It's very impressive. It's so funny.

It's really worth seeing. I love that he cataloged all of that, like a sociologist. It's already been filed with the Library of Congress. So it's a historic document. It is. Oh, and we've got more treats for you. Man, what an episode this is.

Because our friend Sona Movsesian is here to answer some listener questions with us. Oh, yes. Hi, Sona. Hi, you guys. Hi, Sona. Hi. It's really good to see you.

You look great. Thank you so much. So do you two. You two look wonderful. I mean, thank you. Sona is here. I know that you don't like this, Sona. But let me just, I can say it for you,

and then you maybe don't have to say that much, but your advice show, Sona Fixes Your Life, is premiering today, actually, on Team Coco's YouTube channel. A new season. What season is this? I didn't even know I had seasons. Yes, you do.

I just film a bunch, and then they go on. This is one of those things that I just want to do and then put them up and never think about ever again. But now I'm here promoting it and I hate it so much. But I love seeing you guys. I just hate being like, check out my thing. Yeah. Like and subscribe. Oh, God.

No. It's a show. It's fun to do. Yeah. It takes no time at all. And then they edit it and they post it up. That sounds pretty good. I mean, do you plan ahead or do you kind of just talk while the camera's rolling?

Well, I just talk while the camera's rolling. I never, I don't even read the amount of preparation I put into this. I mean, it'll shock you guys is very, very little. That's on brand. I read the questions for the first time while I'm on camera doing them. But you know, the beginning, it was me just like answering random questions that people had about their lives. And now because I'm a mom, I'm you know, I'm a parenting expert now because my kids are like fed and still alive still. Yeah, I know. My standards are really high. So I help people raise their kids with expert parenting advice.

Wow. Do you get a lot of twin parents asking questions? No. Oh. Should I have said yes? That would have been a better... Twin parents probably don't have time to write into an advice show. No, no, no. If I didn't have a revolving door of grandparents, I wouldn't have time to do this either. So is that your advice? Have for grandparents yeah don't move away from your family and let them come over all the time yeah actually

get your parents to get divorced so they get new partners so you multiply yeah the caregivers yeah so anyway but people are really nice and there's a lot of people who are fans of Conan's. And so they just love anything that has to do with him, which is so nice. So, you know. Yeah, that's why we exist. Yeah. Yeah. I know. We're like lamprey on the bottom of a whale.

Remora. More nutrients. Not a lot of nutrients, but you know. Enough to survive So yeah, I mean We thought it might be fun We do get a lot of questions about you, Sona Specifically, and we don't want to answer

Them for you So we thought maybe you could Come on and help us answer Some of the listener questions we get Sure, I'd love to answer Sure, yes, I can't promise This will be good. I mean, but it'll be, I'll be talking. Define good.

Okay. Well, I have a question for you. Yeah. From Orocos28, what other jobs did you have before working with Conan? And then what was your interview process like? Oh my God. I had a lot of jobs. I've been working since I was 16. I had my first job was at Burger King. Yay. Then I worked at a watch store in the mall called Tick Time.

Then I was a peer tutor in college. Then I worked for, I did a work study program because I was on financial aid at USC. And so I worked in the College of Letters, Arts, and Sciences. Then I worked at Hollywood Bowl for a summer and I got fired. Yeah. Uh-oh. Why'd you get fired? Yeah. Just tell us. So, you know, the Hollywood Bowl season is short. It's just the summer. And so I was like, I'm going to need two weeks off because I was going to go to Australia. And that was a lot to ask for. Two of three weeks. Yeah. But they liked me. So they're like, yeah, we'll keep your job. You go to Australia, you come back.

It's, you know, it was a big ask, but they did it. And then when they, when I came back, I just didn't want to do the job anymore. I just, You'd been changed by your trip. I hated it. You had to park under the 101 overpass and you had to frogger it over to the Hollywood Bowl in the Highland traffic. And you'd have to go at like 2 and stay till 11. So all these days during the summer were gone. Having to go to work at 2 p.m., no wonder you quit. I hated it. I loved the job. I hated

the hours. And I was so young. I was just like, and so I just stopped showing up. Oh, okay. So you kind of quit essentially. Yeah. But then I was like, you know, when you want to break up with someone, but you don't want to break up with them. So you just become really bad. And then you make it so that they break up with you. That's what I did with the Hollywood Bowl. Yeah. So I, it was Labor Day weekend. It was like one of their busiest weekends. And I was like, I can't come in. And they're like, all right, I think your season's done. They called me and they were like, this is, this is it. And I felt terrible. But then you felt great. And then I felt great. And then I, you know, was in Palm Springs and I just went into the pool. What a dick. I know that's really shitty. Then I was a page at NBC and then I worked in the events and operations department and then I got my job at Conan. So, yeah. And then there were other jobs sprinkled in here and there. There were like, you know, two months here or three months here.

Wow. Yeah. That's an impressive work history. Resume. Yeah. I come from an immigrant family. We worked just consistently from the moment you can. Although I don't know anyone who has a more diverse resume than you, Sweeney. I think you win. I think you have the most diverse work resume. Mailman, lawyer, head writer. I have to say, being a mailman, that was my summer job in college. That was my favorite job. What a great job. That was back when people actually wanted to get mail.

So I think that would be depressing. But back then. You get your steps in. I think that part's great. Oh, my God. It was 10 miles a day Yeah your calves Were probably jacked

Did you drive One of the cars Or you were a walking Of course I drove Oh yeah The cute little car It's called a quarter ton Jeep

Oh I drove that And you're on the other Side of the road That's so cool The steering wheel's On the left I mean on the right side

Oh that's right Yeah yeah yeah Because you have to put Mail in the mailboxes Into the box And I learned to Really hate dogs Delivering mail That's all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you have to put mail in the mailboxes. Into the box. And I learned to really hate dogs delivering mail. That's all true.

Well, every time I bring in my dog, everyone's fawning over my dog. You hate my dog. But you have a good reason for it. I mean, that makes sense to me because dogs are real assholes to mailmen. Yeah. Do you remember like right before we left Warner Brothers that you brought your dog in? Yes. And I said, oh, God, there's a rat. Do you remember like right before we left Warner Brothers that you brought your dog in? Yes.

And I said, oh God, there's a rat. We have rats in the building. And Kramer was there. Yeah. And I told him, Kramer, we have a rat problem. And I thought he knew I was referring to your dog. And he actually went. He called Warner Brothers, right?

He called Warner Brothers. And the exterminator came in. Well, later that day, I was in the hallway and he was walking down with a guy in uniform and they're like i don't know the third floor seems clear and i'm like i was just like what are you guys doing he's like he's like you reported the rats we're sweeping the building oh my god yeah oh i love that story jesus good for kramer well and then sona there was a second part to this question, which was what was the interview process like? Oh, yeah. Okay. So my first interview was with, so I applied to be a PA because I just wanted a job on the show.

Cool. And this was the Tonight Show? This was the Tonight Show. Yeah. No, yeah. This was the Tonight Show. Oh, that's interesting. I didn't know that.

You applied just for any like a PA position. Yeah. Well, they had listings on the website. And I don't think they could put like, need a new assistant for Conan because I think they would have just been inundated. So they were just like looking for production assistants. So I was like, all right, I'll just, you know. Was this like on the NBC internal website or was it just somewhere? Yes, it was.

Everyone could see. Okay. It was the internal website or was it just somewhere? Yes, it was. Everyone could see. Okay. It was the internal website. And so I wanted to move from the network to production and I specifically wanted to work for Conan. So I just applied. Sarah Federovich, who's our line producer, called me into and she's like, you're actually going to interview to be Conan's assistant. And she's like, are you okay with that? And I was like, I guess. Yeah. I've never been anyone's personal assistant before, but sure. But I worked at Burger King.

I could do anything. But I worked at Burger King. Yes. You want pressure? Try getting an order out and having someone pay in under 30 seconds, you know? So then I interviewed with feds. And then it went from a pool of 10 people to a pool of four people. And then the second

interview was with Sarah Fedorovich, Tracy King and Conan. And then I found out like that night that I got the job. Wow. Like it was a really quick process. Yeah. He just slept. I'm sure they knew as soon as you left the room. Right. I don't know. I mean, there were a lot of like Conan thought I was a really short woman and that I had like really big curly hair which you know I do but I think his perception of me was it was like a cartoon yeah and also looking back on it I could see that he was like thinking about a million other things too so he was probably like who is just like who'll'll just work? And then I think, you know, they just chose me. Boy, was he mistaken?

Right. Yeah. And then they were like, you know what, can you commit five years to this job? And I remember thinking five years, who the fuck's going to commit to being, wow. And that was 13 years ago. Wow. Today, guys. Today's my first. No way. Because today's Armenian Christmas. Armenian Christmas was my first day on the job. Oh, that's great. Oh, wow. Cool.

Yeah. And Merry Christmas. Thank you. And Merry Christmas. Thanks, guys. I love that it's the same date now as the capital insurrection. Yeah, the insurrection. Yeah. Oh, I know.

It's so many holidays um did they have to call references like did you have to put references on your resume no oh no but you know who i knew was uh mark leapis who was the publicist for uh for late night and i had worked with him because he's also the publicist for snl and i had done travel for the whole cast to come out to la oh i'm one of the few people who did travel for this press event and i didn't cry or or you know i didn't cry basically i didn't like break down which i think was like very impressive to people so uh no one made their planes but but you didn't cry. So Mark sent Conan a text on my behalf, which was obviously huge. That helped, yeah.

That helped a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And then a few other people put in a good word for me because everybody at NBC knew each other. So, you know. Yeah. You said you wanted to work for Conan. Were you already a fan of the show or you just better than working for Brian Williams?

No, I think like a lot of people my age i was a huge conan fan growing up i watched late night all the time and you know it was when i heard he was moving to la i was like i want to work for conan o'brien and uh i did and i do well that great. So that was an exciting moment to get the job. Did you tell your friends? Did you guys go out to celebrate? Yeah, it was my friend's birthday that night that I found out. So her birthday celebration turned into me getting a job celebration, which I love the most. Taking someone else's attention. No, it was nice. It was really fun. And everyone was really excited for me. It was cool. Here's something from someone named Major Pager. What is something you know now that you wish you could have known day one of your job?

That's like a real question. It is. Yeah, because I can't think of anything. Can you guys think of anything you wish you knew on the first day of the job? That no one's thinking about me. Right. Oh, Jess, please. No, I mean, you're so self-conscious all the time and you're like, oh, everyone's noticing what I'm doing.

That's true. But no one is. Not to take things personally when they don't work out. Yeah. Or if something doesn't go right, to make it so that it's like a personal thing. That's true. I've definitely evolved. I disagree with all of that.

I think you're under incredible scrutiny. I think everyone's just thinking about themselves. So if you're in a writer's room and you're like, ah, I haven't said anything in four minutes, people are calculating that. And it's like, no, they're not. They're just trying to think of something funny to say too. That's true.

While also timing how long you haven't talked. It's both ways. Yeah. Here's a question. It's Mike Pridgen Comedy asks, how did the transition from assistant to full TV media personality start? Oh. Do you remember? How did the transition?

I mean, I think that Conan and I have a very weird dynamic. And I think that people started to recognize that and started filming it. And then you guys started editing it in brilliant ways. And so I think that, first of all, I will never call myself like a TV personality or any sort of like, yeah, I understand talent. I have a question. Did you ever,

like before you started working there, did you kind of harbor any desire to be a performer or. Yeah. Did you ever do any acting or anything? Is some way, was this fulfilling some dream of yours? No, I mean,

I think. To appear on TV like this. I did, you know, stuff mean, I think appear on TV like this. I did, uh, you know, stuff in, in high school. I,

I, I took like drama class in high school. I, you know, performed, but speech wise in college, I did speeches. That was my thing.

Right. Which is probably why you're so good off the cuff. You, you were like a national speech champion. I'm so glad you brought that up have you ever talked about the notes i don't usually bring this up it's so interesting that you did but i think it's fascinating i think it's a great aspect of your life that i don't know if people know about well yeah i'm a national speech champion it's amazing how much in college

speech was like uh for a whole year that was like my life. I traveled everywhere. Like you had to memorize like these big 10 minute speeches. And then I learned how to do extemporaneous speaking, which is you come up with a speech like within a, an allotted amount of time and it has to have sources and you have to like, you know, persuade people something. How much time would they give you to prepare? I think if i remember correctly they gave you two questions you had a file basically that had all of these topics from all over the news like news international news domestic news and you had a file and then they'd

give you a question before the round or when the round started and there were two questions on there and you would choose one and it would, you would have to go to your file and pick sources and then create a 10 minute speech with sources that either like it was either a affirmative or like against whatever question it was. Like a debate. And you had, yeah,

you had like a half hour to prepare it and then you had to do it for, uh, yeah, you had to give a 10 minute speech. This is like a nightmare I've had. It was awful. I love that you didn't want to do the Hollywood Bowl, but you didn't walk out of that. Like, I'd be like, I'm out. You know, I know.

You know what the thing was about the Hollywood Bowl, to go back to it, by the way, is I thought I was going to go to the concerts during my break. Right. I would assume that. Sure. No, no. back to it by the way is i thought i was gonna go to the concerts during my break right uh i would assume that sure no no you have to stand there in the store while people are having the time of their lives inside oh yeah oh and then they had they give you these volunteers who are like these you know older people who are like right you know retired or something i hate those they take off their fucking aprons and they go into the concert. They're there the whole time. I'm like, why am I working?

I could just volunteer and go see a free concert. Why do old people get all these perks? They get money from the government. Don't get me started. All these rage issues I have from when I was like 21 are suddenly bubbling up. They are. Yeah. Well, I didn't know that.

So they make, they herd everyone into a store and you're. Yeah. That's crazy. Well, there's four stores at the Hollywood Bowl. Okay. Yeah. There's three satellite ones and one main one. Yeah.

I mean, that seems like a special kind of torture to just know that the concert is happening out there. Yeah. without you. Yeah. Knowing Julio Iglesias is 200 feet away and you can't enjoy that three-hour concert. Oh, man. What was the question? Oh, it was how you began your... Oh, my transition. Becoming an on-camera person for Conan.

I would never consider myself an on-camera personality. Although now David Hopping is doing my job since I had kids. Oh, yeah. And he's still doing most of it. So I'm not even really an assistant anymore. I'm just like this weird purgatory state, you know? I'm like... You're kind of a Jordan now. Yeah. You've reached Jordan status. You don't actually do anything besides just appear on the show. Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, no.

It's like going clear in Scientology. He's gone Jordan. Congratulations. Oh, it's great. Just keep giving them money. It's great. Wow. So you're in this weird position with Conan.

Does, is he ever even ask you to do anything anymore? Or is he afraid to even ask? No, no, he does. He does. He's still at, there's still things that he, I've also been with him for so long. Right. That I've like really dug my claws into it. Like there, like his phone's under my name, his car's under my name.

And so there's things that are just, yeah. He can never get rid of you. No, no. I mean, I don't want to plug that now, but you guys know I wrote a book about it.

Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, you don't want to plug that? I'm happy to come here to plug my, but then actually plug my book. So, you know, more than happy to do that.

It's literature. So those tips are in the book as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's called the world's worst assistant, you know, but I still have my job 13 years later. Yeah.

You know, interesting plot twist. His gas and electric bills are under my name for some reason. So that's why I still have this job. That is good advice. Yeah. I like this question. Can I ask one real quick question? Yes.

It's from Haha. It's Sean. Sona, if Conan was your assistant, what would you make him do? Oh, my God. Oh, well, is it like, is it he's my assistant knowing that i've been his assistant i think so let's say yeah today for some reason conan loses everything yeah his entire fortune and then he has to become your assistant oh my first of all he would be a terrible assistant oh my god could God. Could you imagine?

Why do you why do you say that? Because he doesn't know how to do anything. Yes, I think that's part of it. I think because he's had somebody do so much of the smaller things for so long that if you're like, right, hey, can you email like a group of people this thing? He'll like how do i cc people yeah how do i do this he he'd get to keep david hopping right so that would be part of the deal yeah no i think he'd be terrible assistant i think because also i mean dude how many bits can you hear your assistant do before you fire them oh yeah that's true you'd pay for him to go to australia please just please yeah as far away as possible yeah yeah no wouldn't that be exhausting yeah he would just yeah he'd just be doing bits all the time i couldn't handle it his brain works

a very specific way and it's not to be an assistant yeah he's kind of doing the only thing he really probably could be doing exactly like i can't imagine him having other jobs he bristles at authority like no one i've ever seen it's immediate i i think that's why some of his funniest remotes are where he's kind of put under someone else's instructions. Yeah. Yeah. So I think you probably would have some issues with him. Yes, I think so, too.

Oh, for sure. Yeah, a lot of insubordination. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. I need to eat a lunch. I need to eat a lunch. I need three meals a day. I need to eat a lunch. I need three meals a day. I'm Sona. Oh, man.

It's so true. Well, Sona, thank you so much for all this content you provided for us. You're welcome. You guys, thank you. And thank you for letting me plug this thing without actually having to like plug it. It's good. Just having fun with you guys. Cause you know, I think, I don't know if I mentioned it, but I absolutely hate self-promotion

and like being like, check out this thing I did. Unless it's a book. Unless it's my book, which comes out July, 2022. Well, it seems like you are. Are you, are you proud of your book? It's written. You know what? That is a, a seriously that's a huge accomplishment i know it is i'm gonna say that but i it there's a book that's written it has there are words on pages and they're there they go in an order they go

in an order they make some sense it's amazing it's a huge accomplishment yes congratulations i will you come on again when the book's coming out? Closer to that? Oh, yeah. Sure. I'd love to. Will you come on every week for No Reason at All, please? Yes. Can I be on this podcast too? Oh, what if we just stole you from Conan? Oh, I love that idea. That would be great. I'll do it. Yeah. We'll be like, you have David Hopping. Deal with it. Well, wait. Here, I have an idea. Because Sona, since we helped you promote your thing, will you help us do the part we hate? Oh, please, please, please.

Which is ask everyone to rate Inside Conan on iTunes and leave us a review. Oh, yeah. Okay. What do you want me to say? Go on iTunes. Yep. All right. Hey, everybody.

Go on iTunes and rate and review inside conan give them five stars because they deserve it and uh yeah and uh subscribe and um listen and have have a fun time perfect what was that end thank. That's exactly what we were looking for. Honestly, we didn't have to do it, and that's all that matters. Oh, my God. And if you guys have questions, listener questions for us, you can email at insideconanpod at gmail.com or call us 323-209-5303.

And that's our show. And that's our superstar show for the week this one was stacked thank you so much Sona that was fun thanks for making that easy I can't see myself enjoying that with anyone

other than you two that's a good compliment thank you and hey we like you I love you guys too no you don't you. And hey, we like you. Oh, I love you guys too. No, you don't say anything after she says we like you. No, that's okay. She can say it. I like that.

Oh, fuck. Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast, is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jesse Gaskell. Produced by Sean Doherty. Our production coordinator is Lisa Byrne. Executive produced by Joanna Solotaroff, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. Engineered and mixed by Will Becton. Our talent bookers are Gina Batista and Paula Davis.

Thanks to Jimmy Vivino for our theme music and interstitials. You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. And of course, please subscribe and tell a friend to listen to Inside Conan on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or whatever platform you like best. It's the Conan Show. Put on your hat. It's the Conan Show. Try on some spats. you're gonna have a laugh. Give birth to a calf, it's Conan!

This has been a Team Coco production.