Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Kristen Schaal

Episode Date: May 29, 2020

Comedian Kristen Schaal (Bob’s Burgers) joins Conan writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to talk about her stand-up show “Hot Tub with Kurt & Kristen,” being Conan’s nemesis at Comic-Con, her early days of doing stand-up in New York, meeting Conan for the first time during the filming of Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop, and her Law & Order SVU & Criminal Intent roles. Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail] For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com

And now it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hello and welcome. Hi, I'm Mike Sweeney. I'm a writer on The Conan Show. I'm Jesse Gaskell. I'm also a writer on The Conan Show. Conan at home Gaskell. I'm also a writer on The Conan Show. Conan at home now. Yes, Conan at home.

We're still employed, I think. We had a brief hiatus. What did your hiatus look like? You know, it was hard to downshift after seven weeks. From first year into park. Right. I faced a different way in my home office for two weeks just to mix things up and got a whole new perspective on life. How about you? I started taking a picnic blanket out into my backyard and putting it down to pretend like I was...

Is that true? Picnicking, yes. Yeah. Well, that wasn't pretend, you were picnicking. It was nice. Yeah, I was. Did your neighbors say anything or did they just look at you and nod sympathetically like, yes, whatever you need to do? All of my neighbors have been spending so much time outside. So like one side has, I think, some sort of home gym set up that involves mostly like banging sticks against tires and then rolling tires up and down the hillside. Is there a lot of loud grunting?

Yes. And then the other neighbors have a baby that I think they are sleep training on the porch right now. Great. Yeah. Outside. Outside. They're training the baby outside. If we're going to go through this, everyone's going to go through it. That sounds like a living hell.

It is. I decided my passive aggressive way of fighting back was to play my music at like a six oh man that is ballsy yeah i know your dog must charlie must love that you're around all that oh she think like you've fallen in love with her and oh yeah job to be with her and now she doesn't leave me out of her sight for one second i if i go in the bathroom she follows me in there completely where's she now codepend at my feet. Oh, okay. Oh, but I went and got eggs from Linda. Oh, Linda, Linda in our wardrobe department. Oh, that's right. It was your first time up there. I'm a veteran of the egg pickup. So what'd you think? She said that you were on the list ahead of me. So I had to wait

until you got your eggs. I don't know what that means. I think she tells everyone that. It's up in Altadena. It's very far out into the Angeles National Forest. It's at the base of a small little mountain range. Yeah. And I used it as an excuse to go for a hike. Good.

Which was nice. And how did the eggs enjoy the hike? I picture you picking them up first and then taking them. She lives on a crazy compound up there. It seems like a place maybe Manson looked at. I was just going to say, yeah. Maybe the rent was a little high. Not close enough to any celebrities.

Exactly. You'd have to kill scientists from JPL, which is, anyway. Well, should we start the show? We have a guest. We recorded this. I think that people will probably understand, but we recorded this before the pandemic. The pandemic was just a glimmer. Just a twinkle in the president's eye.

So Kristen Schaal, we got to interview her. I think you'll become aware of something very funny at the beginning, which is that she seemingly thought she was being booked for Conan's podcast. Right. Which I guess has more listeners or is, what's the word? More popular? Clout? By the very end of the interview, she was almost starting to come around to talking to us. So, no, she was great.

But it was, I love the way it started. So here's kristin who else is doing this just us just us this is good yeah i'm jesse i'm sorry we just like we can start do you have an intro for your podcast we do but we record it later. How does it go? Is there a song? Yeah, there's a song. There's a great fanfare. Right. It's kind of a knockoff of Conan's theme song. Yeah.

Casio? It's very pleasing to the ear. What's this podcast called? Inside Conan. Okay, cool. But he's not here. No no it's inside the conan show right yeah it's a bit of a bait and switch you think you're getting conan these two is this the conan show that the conan podcast that was like number one no uh yes that's won all sorts

of awards and accolades and loved by millions. Welcome. I'm starting to see what happens. So he has a podcast too? He does. So you thought you were going to be on that podcast. No, no, no. I knew I was going to be with you guys.

You chose us. I knew I was. I've never listened to his. But now that I'm thinking about it, clearly he does the interviews probably. Yeah. Sorry, guys. No, no. No, this is great.

No, I've done this before. I just wanted to. Do you want to call your manager now and complain? Oh, I don't have a manager. I fired him. I don't have anybody. No, okay, great. Is that true?

Do you not have any reps right now? I have an agent. I have an agent. Oh, okay. A UTA. Oh, shout out. So what's Conan's podcast called? His is called. Conan O'Brien Needs an agent. Oh, okay. A UTA. Oh. Shout out. So what's Conan's podcast called? His is called.

Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Right. Oh, okay. So that's the one that was in all the magazines. That's the one that, yeah. That's the one you turned down to be on this one. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the one your agent, your ex-agent waved you off of. Work your way, start with inside Conan. Trust me. No, I'm going to have to talk to him later today. Why would I talk to him twice? Exactly. I'd rather talk to you guys. Save it for them.

Listen, asshole. But yeah, we talk to people who usually are guests on the show, who have some connection to the Conan show, have been sort of part of the Conan family for a long time. That's me. Another awful question, but important, but not really. How many people listen to this podcast?

It is through the roof. There was one week where we were like number eight, I think. Oh, that was exciting. That's pretty good. And now we'll be number eight again. Because Conan's podcast, where is that at? Oh, that's. Is it millions?

Is it number one? It's up there. Is it? Because it's number one. I mean, we're not metrics people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all about creativity and just making things. And if people like them, that's great too.

Oh, I am. I am all about that. Yeah, yeah. Is it fun? It's like the artist's way. Yeah. But our listenership is very passionate.

Oh, you don't have to sell yourself. I'm on this one. And you know what? If Conan ever asked me to do his, I would say no. I feel we do have to sell you.

I feel it's touch and go. It's going to be touch and go the whole way. You could leave. You kept your coat on, your outer coat. My coat. coat on, your outer coat. I'm cold. Yeah, it's your coat, right.

I think that this is, for me, more comfortable because I get nervous about podcasts because I start talking very freely and then drive away and realize that a lot of people are listening. This is better for me. Your secrets are safe here. We are offering you safe harbor here on Inside Cone. Yeah, this podcast is my speed. Yeah.

Yeah. And if you don't like anything, we'll cut it out. Yeah. That's what they say. That's what they say. Oh, has that happened to you where they didn't cut it out? Oh, have you gotten screwed? I don't know.

I don't listen. I end up not listening. So, Kristen, you're on the show later today. I am. I'm going to be on the Conan show. You're going to be on the Conan show. I didn't tell my family. I didn't tell my family.

They don't know where you are right now. Kind of snuck up on me. Because will it air tonight? Yes, it will air tonight. We're renaming this podcast Questions with Kristen Schreiber. Oh my gosh. I love it. I'm sorry if I'm being annoying. I love it. I want more questions. This is great.

Someday I would like if I'm being annoying. No, I love it. I want more questions. This is great. I like it much better this way. Someday I would like to have my own show. My pop show. Well, you're very inquisitive. I know. I actually do get curious about other people. But I don't know. Guess what you have on your show.

See, anyone. Anyone and everyone. I'd take them all. Yeah. Well, no. When you fantasize about it it i bet it's not showbiz people i bet it's like monica lewinsky you know what i've never i've i haven't even uh fantasized about the guests i've only fantasized about me sitting at the desk out, soaking in the light. Isn't that disgusting? It's just you talking.

It is just me and my fantasies. That's so gross. I totally took out the guest equation. I think that's where it starts, though. It's got to start with you as the host. Yeah. And then, yeah, guests down the road. No, I'm starting to think you do have what it takes

to be a late night host. I think so. I mean, it'm probably not, it's probably not going to happen, but maybe on the next version of Quibi, I could get it. You're already planning on this one to fame. The podcast is a good intro too, right?

You guys are, maybe you guys could have your own show. Oh, no, this is as far as my aspirations go. Is that right? So me working on Conan, you work on Conan, Jesse, right? Yeah, we're both writers on the show. Yeah, and for a while. How come you never wanted to step into the Conan's job?

Yeah, Jesse. I think I'm just a natural submissive. I don't know. In the dominant position. Yeah, I don't really have, I don't think I see myself that way. And I'd rather not because if I tried and failed, then that would be too much vulnerability. Oh, my gosh. That's a lot of vulnerability.

You'd be great. No. I think you'd be wonderful. No, no one wants to. I'm not just saying that because we're on microphone. You'd be great. I went, man, when I started Conan, I was doing standup. I was happy actually to start writing stuff for somebody else.

That was more rewarding than I thought it would be. Really? Yeah. Why? Well, I like to shoot and edit things, so that process I really enjoyed. I don't know. It's like a different way of getting laughs, and there was still the awfulness of things, not of things bombing at the time and everyone just avoiding looking at you. So the rejection, the bad feelings were all

still there. But when things went well. It's more of a team. It's more of a team. Yeah. And that was all, it was all this whole different skill set that was fun to learn. Did you just stand up, Jessie? Just for about a year, so no. So yeah, you're in the club. When you just stand up and you had a bomb, we all know that terrible feeling. Had a bomb. Yeah, I had a bomb. Make it sound like it only happened every few days

instead of every night. When you give a joke to Conan and you don't know if it's going to work or not and it doesn't work, does that feeling exist bigger or lesser when he takes the bomb of the joke that you gave him? Right, right. I think it's kind of the same. A lot of

times, the jokes I thought he'd love, nobody liked. And the joke that I put on at the last second and be like, no one's going to like this, That's the one. And I had the same feeling in stand-up. Like, it's very. How about you?

Because you continue to do stand-up. Do you run into that? Yeah, how long have you been doing stand-up? Yeah, we segwayed on to you. Guns trained on targets. Well, I've probably been doing it off and on Lately Like 20 years And you're right It's sort of a reflection of what's going on

Personally and professionally In my life In my 20s it was like this is what I do Well you must love it Because you're so busy with so many other projects A lot of people Would be like okay Sorry I don't have time to do stand-up.

You've made it. Too bad. And you're still doing it. Yeah. Well, and some people would say I'm not doing it. I mean, I do it every Monday night because we have a long-running show. At the Virgil, right?

But yeah, that's still doing it. Yeah, the Virgil the Hot Tub show with Kurt Braunohler. So like tonight I'll be doing it. And I've been able to come up with some new stand-up, finally, that's really dumb. But it makes me laugh, and it's coming out easier. I think I've sort of been wandering around the last almost 10 years, 8 years, doing stuff that's like, I'm not going to do props. I'm not going to do surreal stuff.

Sure, I'll talk about my life. It's so much easier. And then I've been doing it, and it's not been good it's not been great that but also i've been doing it at hot tub like i haven't been touring i haven't been like really doing stand-up and as soon as my daughter gets a little bit older which is soon she just she turned to i think i'm gonna um i told my husband like i'm i'd like to open it up again but that means i'll be gone more right at night right it's one thing to be gone in the day when you have a nanny or daycare but for stand-up you have to be gone at night right yeah really late to be good to to hone it and make it good so i don't know in my 20s it was great

because because of like a place to go at night but right and you didn't have a ball and chain i didn't have a family who loved me which was like my main goal like have it all do you write stand-up about um about being a a parent or what's your sort of angle now i Yeah, I've written stuff about breastfeeding because I had just like so much milk and it would just explode all over her face. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was good. You have to talk about that.

I know. I had to get it out. I was getting it out. I had miscarriages. I was talking about that, but that was kind of less funny than I thought it would be. But I was just trying. Like I said, I was trying to reflect my life.

You were working through it. What's going on? And it's been okay. It's been okay. I think it's hard to find stuff that really works with people who don't have kids and people who do. I don't know. I don't know. It's hard

so i'm not working on it that much i'm not making it good but i have said it out loud on stage yeah i think you you have that rare quality of of like you you can go up there and just sort of trust yourself that you'll figure something out oh no, no, no. Only to this little. You've totaled the mystery of this. Only to this, yeah, this little theater that I've become comfortable with for 15 years. But I've been there. I mean, it's a real crowd every year. It is a real crowd, yes. Here in LA, we might as well tell people.

Yeah, we're in Los Angeles. It's a great live show. It is. It's a small little show. And we have the best producers, Joel and Mandy. And they put up, there's so many good comedians. Great comics. That's the thing. It's just small little show. Yeah. And we have the best producers, Joel and Mandy, and they put up, there's so many good comedians. Great comics. Yeah.

That's the thing. It's just like an endless, you can march them off a cliff. I mean, there are so many good ones. That's a good idea. Yeah. Reality show. It's just. You've moved to a new venue.

Yeah. The Cliffs of Santa Monica. They'll keep coming to dump them back. Yep. No. And they're all good. It's like, there's always someone on the hot tub every Monday. Eclipse of Santa Monica. They'll keep coming to dump the bad guys. Yep, no. And they're all good. It's like there's always someone on the hot tub every Monday.

We do it every Monday that I haven't seen before, and I'm always so impressed. You know, the future might look bleak, but it's not looking bleak for comedy, guys, because there's so many funny, funny, awesome comedians coming up right now. Well, and that's true. I mean, people do say that that's true of like you need a sort of an oppressive regime for art to flourish. Right, right. And I think there was not a lot of art being made under Obama, so

Is that right? Yeah. No, it's just good feelings. Why would I make fun of anything? Things are perfect. So, Kristen, do you have a routine for when you're going to do Like a late night appearance No

Oh no Well I'm going to talk to Conan And I'm still a little unclear What we're going to chat about Okay This is the first time I've been a little more like Loosey goosey

With Conan Because I Because we had that The superhero thing Right This summer Last year Yeah

For Comic Con For Comic Con and it was very improvisational and i'm just like well maybe we can do that tonight and if i'm wrong i just won't tell my parents so that's why you didn't tell anyone well that it was amazing yes because conan like turns on his improvisational buzzsaw when he does a remote and he's just on and you were i was there when you're shooting it you were right on with him and just hilarious we had fun oh you were his arch nemesis it was a fun premise yeah it was it was exciting yeah do it you guys still have my costume yes do we yeah i don't have it. Oh. Did you want that back? Let's see how this interview goes.

Yeah. Yes and no. I mean, I don't know if I would ever wear it or where I would go. Maybe spice things up in the bedroom. I mean, how expensive was that? I don't think you could get to my private parts through it. It's good promo for that company, Ironhead. Four figures?

Probably. Yes. Uh-huh. It was four figures. Yeah, I bet it was. I think. And that's with a big discount. I think they give us Probably. Yes. Uh-huh. It was four figures. Yeah, I bet it was. I think. And that's with a big discount. I think they give us discounts.

Yeah. Because there's advertising. That was wholesale. We should explain what it was. Last year at Comic-Con, the year before, or two years before, Conan got a superhero outfit made by the people who make all the Batman, DC, Marvel. Ironhead. Ironhead.

Ironhead, right? In Burbank? Or no, in Nice. And last year, I think Levi McDougal, one of our writers, had a great idea. Let's give Conan a nemesis, an arch villain. And I don't know who pitched you, but it was like- Who pitched me? It's the person.

It was you, Jesse. It was you, Levi. It might have been Levi. It might have been Levi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's give Levi all the credit. We can issue a correction if we're wrong. And everyone just was like, oh my God. So we were just

praying you were available. And I was like, hell yeah. Oh good, yeah. Are you kidding? And I was very, very free. You just had a baby. Yeah, but I was still pretty free. Were you still breastfeeding? No.

So you didn't have to worry about the world. Oh, I would have remembered. Oh yeah. Bubbling okay. So you didn't have to worry about the world. Oh, I would have remembered. Oh, yeah. Bubbling over. Based on your routine. But you refer to your uterus as your baby house. An abandoned baby house. Which I loved. I thought that should be the new medical term.

It is a good term. And I have to say, I think that I got that a little bit from Tina Fey because we were shooting 30 Rock and she just had her second baby. And she had just gotten her period. And we were both entering the scene and she was like, oh, God. And I think she said this abandoned baby warehouse. I think I stole that from Tina Fey. But have you guys met her? No. Yes.

I mean, I would wonder if you'd be friends because the world is so small. It is a small world. I met her back in New York where she'd be on the show a couple of times in New York. I'd love to meet her. Back in the early days. But no one's introduced us yet. The early days of television comedy. I haven't seen her in so long.

You know, I was so excited to be on 30 Rock because she was a hero, is a hero. And at the time it was like you could count on two fingers the women who had their own shows that they ran and were stars of I know I can't think of the other one Roseanne

I think Roseanne probably a little bit I love Lucy or at least she owned part of it she was a little bit more than the star

she was good and so I was like oh maybe I could have that too it was very exciting but I would always talk so loud around her because I was so nervous and it never went away. And then, even though she was very nice, then I was at an Emmy's Governor's Ball party. I was probably a guest for Rich or somebody for the Daily Show or something. Anyways.

Rich is your husband? Oh, yeah, the husband who wrote on the Daily Show. something. Anyways. Rich is your husband? Oh, yeah, I have a husband who wrote on The Daily Show. Sorry for us. Yeah. She is accounted for. I am accounted for. Oh, she was like, Kristen, Kristen. And it was Tina Fey and her husband.

Their daughters had gotten into Gravity Falls. So it was just fun because I feel like they were a little bit fanning out for me. Oh, cool. Just for a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like they were a little bit fanning out for me. Oh, cool. Just for a second. But I was like, oh, good, I gave in. Just like, I get to give you something. And all of a sudden, Tina Fey started talking loudly around you. I like, keep your voice down.

Please. I'm just a human being. Yeah, come on. On Gravity Falls. Be yourself. Oh, God, I was a mess. Do you get recognized just for voice roles? Because you do so many voice roles.

Do people hear your voice without and going, wait a minute, you sound just like. Yeah. Oh, that is cool. It is kind of fun. It doesn't happen a lot, but it does happen and it's fun. I think sometimes parents will try to get their little ones to be like, that's so insane. Right, right, right. And they'll just look up at me like, oh.

Yeah, yeah. And they're like, no. Because they're probably like, no, it's not. Because that is animated. And this is a real person. Whenever your parent, you know your parents are forcing you. And like, if they discovered it on their own, they'd probably love it. But when your parents are like, ugh, just leave me alone.

Ugh. I've met voiceover people. I mean, you're known for so much on-camera work that you don't have this issue at all. But people who only do voiceovers, who when you meet them, the second thing they'll say to you is they start listing all the shows they do voices for. Have you ever run into people like that? Or is that just me? You mean because they want you to know who they are? Yeah, because they don't, no one

recognizes them. Oh, I haven't met those people. Well, they're out there. But God bless them, because you know what? Those are the people who are holding up the animated world until they decided that they had to get name recognition.

Yeah, that's all changed a lot. I'm not going to call out specific until they decided that they had to get name recognition. Right. It's like. Yeah, that's all changed a lot. And I'm not going to call out specific, but these are A-list actors. So when you see them on screen, they're incredible. And then you hear them in the movie and it's a dud. It's just line after. There's no life in the voice. It's like you have to close your eyes and if there's life in the voice without the face,

then put it on. But if, I was like, you just killed this movie with this A, A, A-lister. Right. Your favorite voiceover work,

do you like if there's a group together or do you, do you end up having to do it, like go in a recording by yourself? It's almost always by yourself. The director will be there and you'll be, sometimes they'll read it with you. Sometimes they're just like, just read it over and over. For Bob's Burgers though, it's a very unique show that we all record together.

Oh. Fun. That sounds great. Yeah, it's great. Most of us live in New York and Boston, but we can use an ISD in line and call in, and we're all doing it together on Wednesdays. Oh, so a lot of times you're all in different places, but still you can hear. Yeah, still recording at the same time. Oh.

It's really great. That's great. If you want that on your animated show, get people who don't work that much. Don't get AAA listeners. We're not going to have time. Right. And they'll ruin it anyway. Yeah.

Because when you have done projects where it's just you alone, do you ever get to hear what other people are doing? I would be like, I want to hear what other, who else went first? No, you don't. You really don't. But the director has heard it all and been coaching. And so they could so they know. Yeah.

They're good. Okay. Yeah. They're good line readers. Yeah. And also, you give it to them at least five different ways. At least I do. You're a pro.

I give them just different readings so that you can fit it together like a puzzle later. Mm-hmm. Give them choices. That's what it's called, choices. Choices. And what would be your sort of ideal thing? You've mentioned a couple things. You mentioned maybe wanting to host a late night show, wanting to star and produce your

own sitcom. What would it be like? What's on your vision board? Well, I've got, oh man. Well, I would really, I would like, I really would like to have like some version of like a talk show thing where I was, I think that would be fun just to get the hair and the makeup, to do a little chat at the top. Guess what?

It's going to be animated. The whole – I know. I know. It's fine. Do the hair and makeup. You want to feel good about yourself. You can still do the hair and makeup. I guess I could.

That's important. So that would be fun someday. I always think, oh, in my late 40s or something, maybe I could do that. Because that's when women are really hot. The older they get, the more visible they are, the more wanted. Absolutely. So I'm going to wait. I'm going to earn it, you know.

And then, yeah, I'm developing a show that I'm really excited about that's kind of like a live. It's like kind of inspired by Pee Wee's Playhouse. It's a live action show that is tailored for kids. But, you know, adults hopefully will love it too. And it's got cruel. I don't want to give too much away, but I really hope it goes. We turned the script in with my husband. I wrote it.

We turned it in last week. Oh, wow. So, you know, I want it so bad. I'm not going to get it. And then the other thing. Yeah. And then a show. I'm just going to get it. And then the other thing. Yeah. And then a show. I'm just developing shows.

But I got cast in a show that I'm excited about. Can you talk about it? It happened on Friday. Oh, wow. Congratulations. Yeah. Do you have kids? Do you have kids?

I do have kids. He has kids. But his are in their 20s. They're 25 and 22. Oh, okay. But they're very immature. They'll like this if it's for young kids. Well, it's based on these kids' books called The Mysterious Benedict 22. Oh, okay. But they're very immature. They'll like this if it's for young kids. Well, it's based on these kids' books called The Mysterious Benedict Society.

Oh. Yeah. I haven't heard of them either, but I'm going to. Yes. Study up real good. Hopefully they're short. Yeah, they're like Harry Potter type books. Oh, cool.

It's a series. Yeah. You follow kids, mainly it's the kids, but I am one of the adults. And Tony Hill is one of the adults and uh tony hill is one of the adults oh that's great are you a good person or a bad person i think i'm a good person i'm a good person we film the pilot next month if we can oh right i mean i was just like can we right and then oh because of coronavirus oh it's being so scary. Like, I'm here to promote a movie that was supposed to come out next week, and that's getting pushed back. Oh, it is? Another month because of coronavirus.

Oh, my gosh. And all this. Only a month. I like that. James Bond, they moved back seven months. Well, so my movie moved to James Bond's slot. Oh. Is that funny?

That's opportunistic. I think they were like, you know, there's going to James Bond's slot. Oh. Is that funny? That's opportunistic. I think they were like, you know, there's going to be a lot of empty theaters. We'll blow them up. So we'll see. We'll see. The future is bright. Yeah. It is bright.

It got exciting. You know, and yeah, and developing shows and stuff. I would love to see something I made happen. Like I've written a couple, a few pilots and movie scripts, but it's rare to see it. Yes. Yeah. Movie scripts especially seem, I just read a couple of books about people who went through trying to get a movie made.

They're really successful writers. It just seems like a night, endless nightmare. Yeah. I don't, I don't know how it happens anymore. Right. No idea. Yeah. But it's cool when it does.

When you mentioned writing with your husband, do you often write together or is this the first thing? Oh, all the time. Oh, great. That's wonderful. That's kind of rare that that works. Yeah. I think it's because he's better than me at writing and um and i know it you have to say that he's one of the 20 000 but yeah you do the typing and you're like in a beanbag chair

kind of throwing paper airplanes yeah oh yeah he's he's always typing because i've typed before and then he's gone and reworked it and i I was like, okay, you just do it. So do you build parameters during the day? Like no discussing the project while we're making dinner or any, or is it wide open? Like you can just, I guess what I just thought of. Yeah. It's pretty much wide open.

See, I think the, the ideas that we work on together, for me, are just always pleasurable. A new idea, story, show, to me, just gives me life. Sometimes it's like, what are we doing in this world? It's hope. Yeah. And then when you can talk about this idea or that story, then it's like, I don't know, it just feels there's an endorphin.

You feel excited. I also have a problem, too, where I don't know about you guys, but as soon as there's a new idea, I am like, it's like a drug. I'm like, oh, gosh, this is so good. I love it so much. And you're just like telling everybody about it. Yeah. And then like one day later, it's an old idea. And I'm like, ugh, that one, it'll never work. And I think that's part

of a big reason why I don't have anything for me. I really just... Well, it's so hard to commit to one idea too, because I love the process of having an idea, but then actually having to follow through on that idea is the part I don't like. Well, that's the work.

I don't like the work part. I see myself successfully enjoying the premiere. Everyone got the idea. And then the next day when you have to roll up your sleeves, oh, yeah, no. Yeah, no, it's awful. It's like here, you pitch an idea, and you're kind of like, please don't pick it.

Please don't. Because the second, then it's like, oh, no. No, because the fun part is having people laugh at your idea. Yes, that's it. And then that's enough. Yeah. Yeah. Moving on.

Yeah. Yes. Oh, wait. So we didn't, I didn't really catch this part. More questions. But you were saying that you felt bad when your ideas, when your jokes bomb that Conan says. Or, yeah, I mean, usually.

Most of the things he says that you write are winners, but sometimes there's a speaker. So what is that feeling like afterwards? Is it, are you just, is it like, ugh, or do you feel less ugh, because you didn't have to be in front of the crowd? It's, oh yeah, it's,

it's, I mean, in front of the crowd, I mean, if you're bombing, it's, it's 20, 20 ughs in a row. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And nowhere to hide. Well, and the nice thing for Conan is that if he didn't write the joke, then he kind of can separate himself from it. So if it really bombs, he can then shit on the joke.

I've heard him do. Yeah. He'll throw you guys under the bus. Exactly. Because you're hidden. Yeah. Right. It's win-lose.

And then the audience is back on his side again. And so then he'll get a huge laugh. And then even if I was the reason for not getting the laugh in the first place, I still feel partially responsible for the big laugh. Oh, that's nice. I saved your

ass up there. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. I don't mean to talk about your failures. No, no. Oh, my God. But I'm just interested if, like, if it's, for me, I wonder if I would feel, I would feel worse if a joke I gave to someone bombed as opposed to if I just went and took it. Right. Right. You know?

Like, you could, you throw yourself on the grenade. Yeah, but that being said, maybe whoever delivered the joke could have done it better. I mean, that's the thing. Yeah, that's the thing. Now you're getting it. You've opened a whole new front. He's not here. That's right.

Let's take him down. Oh, my God. That's mainly what this show is for. Well, you probably always have great crowds. At the Hot Tub Show? At the Hot Tub. We do, but we also have regulars, which I'm

slowly coming around to because I've been able to write some new material, but they're there every night. Yeah, because otherwise you could be doing the same material every week. Getting it better and better. But then I'm always like, oh God, Ryan's listening to this again.

Even though he's perfectly nice and a very good audience member. Is he nice? Coming every week? I think that's passive aggressive. I know, it's a little aggressive. It's a little aggressive. Actively aggressive. You know, someone should talk to Ryan.

When I was coming up, I would go to Eating It. Did you ever go to Eating It in New York? Well, let's talk a little bit about when you were first doing stand-up. Was that in New York that you first started? Yeah. And there's a show called Eating It in New York? Well, let's talk a little bit about when you were first doing stand-up. Was that in New York that you first started? Yeah. And there's a show called Eating It. Yeah. I think it was Marc Maron and Janine Garofalo.

Oh, okay. The woman. The woman. I know. I know. Janine Garofalo and Marc Maron started it. It's no longer there. It's condos.

But it was in the East Village. And you would pay $7, but you would get a drink ticket for a free drink. That's a great deal. Yeah. And it was this tiny room. And I was just moved to New York. And I was like, oh, no. Like, what did I do?

I don't think I can make it here. And then I stumbled into this show. And it was like the perfect comedy room for me. Because it was alternative and cool. And they were trying out new things. And it was like Eugene Merman and John Glazer and Todd Berry and John Benjamin and David Cross and just all these white guys. And then I was like, I'm going to stay.

I'm going to stay in New York. And I went to that show for two years and just stood in the back and watched and left right after. I didn't talk to anybody until I finally got up the nerve to give them a tape to Jeff Singer. Jeff Singer produced it. He produced it. Oh, cool.

And then I did the start of the show. So were you simultaneously doing open mics at other places? Yes. And then I would do open mics at Surf Reality, which was Faceboy's show, and Collective Unconscious, which was the Reverend Jen's show. And then The Pit. I think I was doing stuff at the People's Improv Theater, too. And eventually what led to really getting the career revved up was I started a room called The Hot Tub Show with Kurt Braunohler at the People's Improv Theater Monday nights. And that's when I had to – we were booking the show, too, which is the hardest job you can do.

That sounds – and you're like a traffic cop because you have to deal with everyone's schedules. Yeah, and meet everyone. everyone, but it made me like, instead of leaving, eating it right away, I would stay and I would chat up Demetri Martin and find Michael Showalter and just as many white guys as I could. And yeah, and then all of a sudden they're your friends and they're inviting you to your show and their show and you're doing stand up many a week, and you're getting better at it. And was this right out of college? Yeah.

I said, I'm going to move to New York and give it a go. I went to New York right away, and I was watching it and doing it, and yeah, it was hard. It took a while. It took a while to kind of get clicked in and really start doing it. Where were you doing it? In L.A. And I was simultaneously, I mean, I had like my fingers in all the pies. Yeah.

Because I was doing improv and stand up and sketch team and like, you know, also trying to write sitcoms and stuff at night. So it was, I was just trying to see what was going to maybe. Stick. Yeah. What was gonna strike first. What did you enjoy the most? Well, I ended up really, I mean, I liked the joke writing part of stand-up,

but I hated performing. So I think this was, Yes. Like, I love the feeling after performing. Right. When you just get to eat hot wings and drink beer in the back.

What a great club. Hot wings. Well, that was, I guess we would, because I did a couple shows at Iowa West when there were some booked shows.

The other was still open in Hollywood. On Hollywood. Yeah, and then we'd go to Big Wang's afterwards and have hot wings. I mean, I don't know,

that feeling, I liked even for tonight, a little bit for Conan, like, I just had this, like, not a doom and gloom feeling, but just like a bit of a serious Paul. Like I'm not quite myself before doing a stand up show. Like it's not a nice feeling. You're about to become incredibly vulnerable.

It's stressful. And it's stressful and it's not happening until the night. And I really do feel stand-up is a total day ruiner. Yeah. I don't know. Especially if you're doing it once a week, like every Monday. You would just dread. In your head it's counting down to Monday night.

Yes. Yeah. I would start on Tuesday. I would start dreading it. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know if that goes, it hasn't gone away for me. I mean, I wonder about people like Ali Wong

who are like touring stadiums. Is it like you know that you're so good that it's fun? Like when does it become fun? It's fun when I'm doing, like right when I go on stage and I'm doing it, it's fun. There's no going, you're just doing it.

But leading up to it, that whole day, it's like, it's terrible. But it's also a muscle, right? So if you, people playing Giants, they probably are doing it every single night. And then that has to make it easier. It would have to go away,

or you'd just have IBS all the time. Yeah, you're like, okay, oh, I know this feeling. You know what? I felt this feeling before and the show went fine. Let's just not feel this right now. Yeah, that's like therapy speak. Well, you'll have to have her on and ask her about it. We will.

Yes. Yeah. Great. We'll tune in. We'll get back to you. We'll get to the bottom of this. I think you met Conan for the first time on film. Oh, my God.

In that documentary about his live tour called Conan O'Brien Can't Stop. Yeah, probably. You're in the movie. I think you were friends with Reggie. Watts. You came by with Reggie Watts, who was the opening act. Yes. And you dropped by.

I gave him a crocheted ice cream cone with his face on it that a woman, and I'm forgetting her name, but she crocheted a Penelope Princess of Pets doll for me. That was my web series. Yeah. And she's so talented. Yeah, that's very difficult to crochet faces. Oh, yeah. But she's an incredible artist. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, it's very difficult to crochet faces. Oh, yeah. But she's an incredible artist. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah, it is. It is. I believe you. And then she made that ice cream cone. And so she asked me if I could get it to her. Yeah. And it worked out that Reggie was doing the show that night.

Right, right. At Radio City. It was Radio City Musical. Yeah, and that's right. That might have been the first time I met him. Yes, because I watched it and you're like, how do you do? Nice

to meet you. And he was like, nice to meet you. And then his assistant, Sona. And then you gave him the ice cream cone? Yes, and that's all in the movie. And you were in Flight of the Conchords at the time. So Sona was a big fan of that show. Yeah, otherwise he'd be like, no.

And it was all just to smuggle this thing in. Let's go for this. For this artist fan. You said I'm not a fan of yours, but I was asked to give this to you. It's true. It's true. It remains true. I do have a Conan shirt.

It's the late night. What's the show that he got booted off of? The Tonight Show. The Tonight Show. I got a Conan Tonight Show t-shirt. I went online and got the merch. I still have it. Just the shirt.

But I was like, you got to get that. Do you guys have yours? No, I want one. I should look on eBay. Come on by. I have one year for Christmas we got. Well, one year. The only year.

One year. One of the many, many years. The, that winter, that Christmas, we got Tonight Show luggage. It was a nice luggage with the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. Wow. Oh, where do you, where do you use it? It is a collector's item. Do you use it or?

I just use it traveling to and from. Yes. Just a reminder. Well, that's probably worth something the way that when they make like a Super Bowl t-shirt for both teams that might win. Now moving out here after, like for that, that's why you moved out here, right? Yes. Do you guys like it out here or do you miss New York? I really like it out here.

Yeah. When did you move out here? Do you miss New York? I really like it out here. Yeah. When did you move out here? 2012. Okay. And were you just getting a lot of work out here? Or what made you move out here? Oh, God. The sunshine.

Well, I wanted to be out here working. And I started sitting in New York waiting for them to offer me a job. I was like, well, you really got to be in L.A. to do that. And my husband was working on The Daily Show. And it was one of those things where I just had to wait until he was ready to move on from The Daily Show. Because that's an incredible job. Yeah.

I'm not going to pull him out of that. And then one day he realized he was done. Oh. And what also helped is our landlords was like, I'm raising your rent 13%. And we're like, OK, so there's two things. Yeah. Let's go. You told the landlord to raise it.

I've got to get him to move. It's the only way. I really need to get out of here. I'm not going to be on SNL. He's not listening to me. There's no other comedy jobs here. Like, I did 30 Rock. Like, I got to go.

Law and order is the only thing left. Yeah, I did law and order. I did SVU and special victims. Did you do SVU? John Stewart's going to create. Yeah,. Yeah, I did law and order. I did SVU and special victims. Did you do SVU? John Stewart's going to create. Yeah, Stewart's. I did the Daily Show as many times as I have me. Like, what's left?

Wait, I interrupted. What did you just say you did? Did you actually do law and order? Yeah, I did. Oh. Yes, I did. Yay. Criminal intent and SVU.

Wow. Were you an attorney? No. I'm a victim. On SVU, I was a crematorium worker. Typecast. Yeah. Kurt Brunner and I have this bit.

I want to do this bit again where we start this sketch by saying that we're like the Olsen twins. And we had a showbiz career where one would get tired, the other one was stupid. And then we show my bit on SVU where Chris Maloney's like, it's a frat party that went too far. He's going

through a box of the deceased items and he pulls out a frat paddle. And I'm just sort of, I give him the box and I'm just like looking and then it cuts to Kurt Brown or being like a paddle like yeah yeah yeah it's a kind of a favorite bit of mine anyways and then and then on criminal intent I played a girlfriend of a Russian terrorist oh my god and I have never seen it. Eugene Merman.

I wish. No, I don't even know who it was. I was just doing the interviews with the lady cop. And were you Russian, too, or no? Uh-uh. No, I think I was just stupid. Naive. Yeah.

They don't replay that one. You don't get a copy of it because they make so many. They don't give the actors copies. So it's either you see it or you don't replay that one. You don't get a copy of it because they make so many. They don't give the actors copies. So it's either you see it or you don't. If anyone's ever seen it, let me know. All right. We'll dig it up. Oh, yeah.

I'm sure someone will probably reach out to us. All I remember about it is I was doing this scene with the woman who has red hair, short red hair. I don't know her name. Well, the main criminal intent woman? You only know white males' names. Yeah, I only know know her name. Well, the main criminal intent woman? You only know white males' names. Yeah, I only know white Indian males. But anyways, I was just telling her my sob story, and she was looking at me like, oh, no, no.

And I had this moment when I was doing this scene where I was like, oh, that's your job every day is looking at people with that face. Like criminals, yeah. You know, telling you their sad stories. Yeah. And I felt sorry for her. But while she raked it in, I mean, she probably really enjoyed that job. Yeah, yeah.

It's a weird job. It's like being a therapist. Yeah, yeah. Yes, you're right. Yeah. Yeah. Before we go, Kristen, we have one more question for you, which is, if you were to give one piece of advice to a person listening who might want to do what you do, what would it be?

A piece of advice I would say is I feel like in this business, there's like a lot of times where you feel like you should be doing it. And there's equally a lot of times where you feel like you're not good enough to be doing it. And I think that it's okay to have both those feelings and to not think that one of them, the one that you're not supposed to be doing it is better, just to be kind to yourself during those moments. That's all. Yeah, well, I think that's good. Great advice.

Yeah. Because it's so easy to start beating yourself up mentally. Yeah, and then you beat yourself up about beating yourself up. You're like, oh, now I'm always down on myself and I'm mad at myself for that too. Yeah, just be kind to yourself. There was a point when I didn't want to just end up in my 20s, which was scary because that was the time to do it.

And I remember someone was like, Steve Martin didn't want to do comedy for a while. And I was like, what? Like, that's okay? Like, it's okay to like want to do comedy for a while. And I was like, what? Like, that's okay? Like, it's okay to like want to. Those little quotes can like last you four or five years. Yes. You just latch on to it.

Yeah. Okay. It's okay. Yeah. Where you're like, Jon Hamm was 39 when he became a star, you know. I know. George C. Scott didn't start until he was 30. And he won Oscars.

So I would say those. Oh, and also people are always like, how did you get into voiceovers? That's the question I get the most. And I always tell them it took 15 years because it wasn't about my voice or my talent. It was mostly about the people that I came up with from the beginning. Like Eugene Merman was friends with Lauren Bouchard from Boston, and he was playing around with a little pilot for Fox, and that was Bob's Burgers. So that was a very lucky thing. But also those are the people that you're with right now that are unemployed and doing stand-up with you at night and like

scrounging and those are the people that are going to be getting their chances to have their own shows later so just really support your peers because you're all in it together but you're all going to rise up together in 15 to 20 years hopefully we help each other

and take over yes yes that's great advice Kristen Schaal thank you so much 20 years. Hopefully we help each other. Yes. And take over. Yes. Yes. That's great advice. Kristen Schaal, thank you so much. You're welcome. And break a leg for me. Have a great show tonight.

Okay. Two great shows. I hope it's as good as this podcast. Oh, thank you. Oh, man. That was Kristen Schaal. She's great. Yeah, she's hilarious and fun to talk to.

She and Kurt Bronner are still doing their weekly show, The Hot Tub Show. Yeah. But it's virtual now. Yes. So it's called The Hot Tub Home Edition. It live streams Mondays at 8 p.m. on Twitch. Pacific. Pacific time.

It's a great show. I've seen it several times. Always really fun. Yeah, they always get great comics. And I guess a lot of people have been watching. So nothing can kill comedy. You know what else can't be killed? Answering fan questions. Yeah, that's right. It's Har from Finland. Do you two still remember your first sketches that went on the air? and what were they? You know, I was thinking about this. I technically, the first sketch that aired was a remote that I worked on. Ah, a field piece.

Yeah, of course that counts. Wow, you dove right in. Well, I mean, I think I was thrown in. Well, no, it was a fun one. I worked with Jose Arroyo on a remote where Conan delivers flowers for Valentine's Day. Oh, I remember that one. Yeah, he went to a flower shop.

In the valley. Yeah, and was taking in real orders and then going off and delivering them. And for some reason, we ended up getting an order for Mark McGrath, the lead singer of Sugar Ray. That just worked out that way, huh? That Mark McGrath? Yeah, yeah. Okay. What was that like for you? Were you nervous or like, when do I pitch ideas while

we're shooting? Yes. That was the hard part. I didn't really know what the rhythm was supposed to be. And so there was, I remember there was one point where there was a slight lull in the conversation and I leaned in right next to the camera to pitch a joke to Conan. It wasn't the right time, let's just say. And the withering look I caught. Oh, just a look. That's good. Yeah. Or maybe he said something like, well, that was worth it. Sure. good yeah or maybe he said something like well that was worth it sure but i did learn from jose that he will often bring a notepad and then he he'll write things out on the notepad and hold

that up for conan which is really smart because something you think of in the moment can go out your head for all time because you're just moving on to all these new moments so that is a tough judgment call yeah because if he's on a roll and he doesn't want to be stopped, then you've ruined all the momentum. Although we've talked about this before in many ways, that might be his favorite thing of all is when he gets to Lord that over us. Of course. He calls them Scooby snacks. Sweeney, do you remember your first sketch? I do remember the first, It was like a desk piece.

The first one that like I pitched and then kind of produced and wrote the whole thing. Wow. It was during the O.J. Simpson trial. So it was in February of 1995. You know, it's all anyone was watching on TV. And I just had the idea. How are other cable networks covering the trial? Because everyone was trying to jump on the O.J. bandwagon. And I just had the idea, well, how are other cable networks covering the trial?

Because everyone was trying to jump on the OJ bandwagon. So I just showed like the Weather Channel covering it. And public television had Bob Ross, the painter. And the jury was anonymous. So it was him trying to paint the jury and imagine. Oh, I love that. Let's just give them different faces. And it's your jury. You can do whatever you want with them.

That's great. Someone suggested Robert Smigel to play Bob Ross and he was great. I love that. Yeah, yeah. So that was fun. And that's the last thing I did on the show. That's why I remember it so clearly. All right.

Well, that was fun. Please keep sending in questions. Yeah, we love your questions. And you can email us at insideconanpod at gmail.com. Or you could call and leave us a message. We like those too. Yes. At 310.

No. I don't know. 323-209-5303. Operators are standing by. They might be sitting. See you next week. We like you. Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast,

is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jesse Gaskell. Produced by Jen Samples. Engineered and mixed by Will Becton. Supervising producers are Kevin Bartelt and Aaron Blair. Executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. And Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf. Thank you.