Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Liam Cunningham, Rose Matafeo, Jeff Ross

Episode Date: May 10, 2019

Irish actor Liam Cunningham joins Conan writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to talk about predictions on the future of his character Ser Davos on Game of Thrones, almost dying while working as an electrician in the 80’s, and getting thrown out of the Chateau Marmont. Then, New Zealand comedian Rose Matafeo stops by to talk about being inspired by the confidence of people in the US, why so much good comedy comes out of New Zealand, and what she’s doing to prepare for her first late night appearance. Plus, Executive Producer Jeff Ross joins Mike and Jessie to share his opinions on the TV Upfronts.This episode is brought to you by Aunt Fannie’s Pest Solutions (www.auntfannies.com/bugs code: INSIDECONAN), Daily Harvest (www.daily-harvest.com/insideconan), Candid (www.candidco.com/insideconan), and FabFitFun (www.fabfitfun.com code: insideconan).Check out Conan Without Borders: Australia: https://teamcoco.com/australiaCheck out Conan25: The Remotes: https://conan25.teamcoco.com/Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail] Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

And now it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. I'm Mike Sweeney. And I'm Jesse Gaskell. We're writers at Conan and we love to talk about what's going on behind the scenes here. Yeah, mostly about ourselves. Yeah. And sometimes other people. Yeah.

But today, we've got really great guests. We do. Yeah, we're very excited about today's show. I know we always say that, but this time we mean it. I don't know. Maybe we don't always say it. Who do we have? We've got Liam Cunningham. Holy cow, from Game of Thrones? From Game of Thrones. He it. Who do we have? We've got Liam Cunningham. Holy cow. From Game of Thrones? From Game of Thrones.

He plays Sir Davos. Sir Davos. Sir Liam Cunningham. I'm knighting him on this podcast. Oh, yeah. He's fantastic. Yeah. He's so charming.

And he's still alive. He's still- I can't believe he's still alive. A viable character in Game of Thrones. I'm worried for him this week, though. Really? Yeah, I am. I just think he's too good.

I don't know. I think he's going to run out the clock on that. Okay. I hope so. Maybe he'll be in a spinoff. And who else do we have? We have a very funny comic from New Zealand named Rose Matafayo. She's great.

Yeah, she had a really funny set on Conan this week. And we also are going to talk to our executive producer, Jeff Ross. Yay. We got Jeff out of his office and down here in our podcast studio. He's coming in to talk about the TV upfronts. It's a whole week where the networks trot out their new shows. They razzle dazzle. Yes.

Advertisers. He's been going to them for 30 years, so he has a lot of opinions about them. Mostly negative. Yes. So if you like some negative energy, you'll enjoy this interview. And without further ado, here's Liam Cunningham.

All right. All right. I don't know how we did this. We got an incredible booking. Yes, amazing. This week. We have one of the stars of the biggest show on television.

Right now. Oh, sorry. I thought you were talking about somebody else. No. I was a guest. I was waiting to see who was going to surprise me. Yeah. Well, that's a hint to our guest.

Yes. If you recognize the accent, it's Liam Cunningham. He plays Davos on Game of Thrones. Have you heard of it? And there's only two more episodes left to go. Oh, I know. Yes. And we can divulge, right?

You don't mind that you end up being the king. Yeah, you can tell people everything. If you know. If you know. No, I mean. I do. My guess is your character is too nice. You're sort of the moral compass.

You're definitely going to die. That's my feeling. But then again, you've got these guys who are very much cleverer than I'll ever be, who are probably thinking, yeah, that's what they're expecting. That's what they'll expect. You're right. They'll do the double bluff, I believe it's called. Are people gambling on the outcome in Vegas? There has been huge gambling.

Really? Yeah. Since the early days. Wow. Since the early days. Oh, wow. The log game. Yeah.

But certainly for this last season, the bookmakers were inundated with bets. So what are your odds? Yeah, are you not allowed to bet? Because you know... Well, what I wanted to do... That's what I'm going to say. Why you should make a fortune. Dan Weiss and Benioff.

What I wanted to do, when the betting story kind of broke, back in Ireland, what I wanted to do was dress up in my costume, and then we have... Do you have them here at a bookmaker's office on the high street where you can go in and bet on horses and stuff? You can only do it at track here, can you?

You can bet on horses. It's called off track betting. Off track. Okay. Well, we have like shops that you walk in. Yeah, similar. I think they still have them. Yeah, yeah.

But anyway, what I wanted to do was get a friend of mine across the road on a long lens. Yes. With me coming out with a little yellow docket, a little ticket, where I've kind of betted on stuff, but in my costume and just sent that out to you. But I never, as usual, these reasonably decent ideas never come to fruition because I'm so lazy.

Well, you can give us X amount of money. We'll keep it secret. We'll go to Vegas and put the money down for you. For you, yeah. Yeah, you could do it. And we'll take a finder's fee. Yes, of course. A substantial finder's fee. I don't know.

10%. Or I could see him also throwing us off so that we drive up the odds for the wrong person. That's a good idea, actually. Give you like 50 grand to put on me or somebody. We're just talking hypothetically now, of course. And then while that drives the odds up, I'll bet on somebody else because, yeah. Nice.

But you were on tonight to promote a new show. Yes. Something called The Hot Zone. Indeed, for the wonderful people at Nat Geo. And that's already been shot. That's wrapped. Yes. Well, I know people tend to look at Game of Thrones

and think we did it last week. Oh, right. I finished last July. Oh, yeah. I thought it was live, the way they're doing live. But I finished that last July. And then from September, October, November, I was in Toronto with the wonderful Julianna Margulies and Noah Emmerich and Topher Grace and various lovely people. And then a month in South Africa, just before, in December. So we shot this incredible story, true story, where Ebola was

unleashed in Washington, 10 miles from the White House. That was a best-selling book in the 90s. So this and the, you know, it sounds like some sort of historical story. It's over 30 years ago or whatever. As we speak in the Congo now and in Central Africa, it's at the moment, it's the second largest outbreak of Ebola that they've ever had. If that thing escapes, the possibility of a pandemic is incredibly possible, shall we say. That's terrifying. That's scarier than the Night King. Yes, it is. It's the Night King.

Can we bet? Pathogen form. Can we bet on who lives and dies? Oh, that's harsh. Harsh, dude. Harsh. This is real life. This is real life.

From 30 years ago. real life. This is real life. Well, I wonder, did your body go into shock being in a climate like South Africa's after having been in you were shooting in Northern Ireland for so long? No, I was in the home of rain, which is Ireland, yeah. South Africa, I'm kind of accustomed to. I used to live in Africa in the 80s. Oh.

And in Zimbabwe when I used to be a real person before I became an actor. Wow, what did you do there? I used to be a real person before I became an actor. Wow, what did you do there? I used to do rural electrification. Oh my God. One of the places I looked after, I used high voltage electricity

to wherever people needed it. So villages and wells and boreholes. And one of the areas I looked after was the National Park of Zimbabwe, which is the size of Belgium. Wow. And it's 16,000, which is the size of Belgium. Wow. And it's 16,000 elephants and all that sort of thing. So the weird thing was, 35 years later, I'm back in a four-wheel drive car, not even an SUV, a Land Rover, driving around Africa.

Yeah. Pretending it was 30 years ago. Right. Which is what I actually did. You were there, yeah. I did the research 30-odd years ago. Right. Which is what I actually did. You were there, yeah. I did the research 30 odd years ago. So were you doing the continuity for the show? I did have to have a job and we wouldn't do that.

And also the two crappy Land Rovers they gave me nearly killed me and the other actor. Just as well I knew how to drive them. Oh my God. Did you make all the cast go to Zimbabwe with you to show them where you used to be? Well, I actually did. I did try to go back. Every time I tried to go back, the people got a huge thunderstorm or the timing didn't work out. But I've been trying to get back for 30-odd years to see my little depot where I used to work.

Yeah. And see if the infrastructure you did, if you know how it's holding up. Yeah. High voltage. It's a Lululemon now. Yeah. High voltage. That makes me think you're a very careful person.

Yeah. That would have been nice. A couple of times I nearly killed myself when I was in Zimbabwe on high voltage wires. Yeah. Yeah, that would have been nice. A couple of times I nearly killed myself when I was into Bobby on high voltage wires, which is one of the reasons I wanted to get out of it. How many volts have you taken? Well, I don't know exactly, but I remember one of the things we used to have to operate these switches, which are almost like these things from Frankenstein, from young Frankenstein, where you pull these big,

they're called knife switches. And in reality, I shouldn't have been doing it in this drizzly rain because that conducts. That seems like the first rule is don't do it in the rain. Yeah. And you were wearing metal shoes. No, that's the funny thing. You put down like a one-inch thick rubber mat.

Right. And you also wear these, you know, your household rubber gloves, except these things are a quarter of an inch thick to stop this getting through. That didn't stop it. And I couldn't move. The horrible thing about electricity is, is that your muscles operate by electricity. So if you grab a live wire, your muscles automatically contract and there's nothing your brain can do to open it because it's just got a bigger signal than the one in your brain. The only way is to hack your arm off is to get it off. So I was, yeah, this is fun.

This is hardcore. But the only reason I'm still here is because when I was opening this big switch, which is like a shovel handle, this thing, if you put it from the top and it goes in a semicircle down and I was starting to feel and was falling over basically and about to die when I fell against the switch and it opened up the last three or four inches so I

that's the reason you're able to talk to me now You just happened to fall I fell on it. Wow So there was a couple of other stupid issues like that that I did that really should be dead. Darwin took his eye off the ball. Because I should have gone the way of the velociraptors and T-Rexes and stuff.

But anyway. Wow. That's a wild story. Yeah, so then what made you leave that? You transitioned to acting. No, I knew that. Oh, I don't know. You were having a great time there.

Where did you become an actor? Yeah, but, well, yeah, where... It was Africa. It was Africa. I came back because I got leave from my job. I used to drive a yellow van around Dublin fixing people's minor aches and pains with electricity. And I'd never been anywhere.

Wait, minor aches and pains, you're using it like a... No, no, no, it's a metaphor for broken electricity in their houses. Oh, I thought you were... No, no, you were taking me too literally. A charlatan, yeah. Oh, I am a charlatan. You were doing electric shock on the side.

Especially with my acting. More charlatan acting from Cunningham. This could help you with your depression. Yeah. But what happened was, you know, for the last year and a half, I was, as I say,

looking out at this park, which is like 16,000 elephants and all sorts of ridiculous stuff. And it was amazing. And I loved every minute of it. And when I finished my time in Africa, they put me back in a yellow van driving around Dublin. And somehow that lost its glamour.

So I said, what else can I do? And I just loved drama and I said, look, I need a distraction. So literally I went into the acting game as a, weekends, evenings, that kind of thing, as a distraction just from, because I was bored with my real life.

What I didn't expect was to fall in love with it and I fell in love with the acting and it just got me hooked line and sinker. And that's how I ended up doing this. That's great. And you know, it's... Oh, go ahead. No, I just, that's so inspiring, I think,

to probably all the small time electricians out there. It would be inspiring if I meant it. It just happened by accident. I was like a pinball just hitting against things. I just happened to end up in a cone and show. First, almost get electrocuted and then go into community theatre. Yes.

But you know what's great? You tell me but don't you feel like probably when you started this new career, having other work experience, you had kind of a maturity going into it? Yes. My ego was in check. Right. That's what I'm talking about. I didn't believe the publicity and still don't. Right, that's good

though. Yeah, and the transient nature of all this. Right. It's very healthy, yeah. They do say that it's always good to bring some of your real life experience. Well, I didn't start doing this. I didn't start being an actor for money until I was 29. Wow. So I've been doing it nearly two

years now. No one can see you. Literally. So you've been on our show when we go to Comic-Con. Are you going to go to Comic-Con this year just for fun? You know what? I don't know. I thought it was completely ruled out because the show was over and whatever.

But if it were up to me, I'd go back and say a big thank you to the fans. But if it were up to me, I'm twisting a few arms at the moment, but I have no sway. They won't even take my calls. It's over. They've done with me.

It's over. Liam Who, I hear a lot of that from Vice and Benioff. You graduated. Neeson? No, Cunningham. I was in the show. What show? We're on to Star Wars. a lot of that from Vice and Benioff. You graduated. Nathan? No, Cunningham. Cunningham. I was in the show. What show?

We're on to Star Wars. They're doing Star Wars. Allegedly. What? Yeah. Okay. Can't you just be done after Game of Thrones?

Isn't that enough? You should kill yourself after it. That's what I do. How is things going to get any better? I agree. You think you should

kill myself after it? Let's have a suicide pact. I like that. Let's do it live on the podcast. Someone get me a samurai sword. I think you should be electrocuted. That's the way that you should go. That would be poetic. Poetic justice. The wiring here is awful, so it's easy to do.

Well, I've had plenty of free time. I'll fix it up for you. Good. Where are you going next? After this, I'm going to eat something. In life? No, literally after this. I have electrical work in in life no no no literally after this I have electrical work in my house I thought you were

inquiring about my well-being of course are you in the US for a while no I have I do this and then I

I only got here yesterday so my head isn't oh wow it's completely wrecked well you sound pretty good it's an illusion Friday I fly back I land back in Ireland on Saturday I say hello My head is completely wrecked. Well, you sound pretty good. It's an illusion. Friday, I fly back. I land back in Ireland on Saturday.

I say hello. I remind the dog of what I look like on Sunday. And on Monday, I fly to Madrid to start a movie. Oh, that's great. I'm doing a bank heist. Wow. I'm on my way down with the wonderful and hugely attractive Mr. Freddie Highmore. Do you know Freddie from The Good Doctor?

And Psycho. Bates Montel. My wife watches. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Freddie Highmore. Do you know Freddie from The Good Doctor? And Psycho. Bates Montel. My wife watches. Oh, yes, yes, yes. He did Bates Montel. He was, what's his name? What's the killer in Psycho? Norman Bates.

Norman Bates. That's right. Yeah, so we're going to rob the bank of Spain. Oh, good. So you're a bad guy. No, I'm not a bad guy. All right. I'm the mastermind. It's different.

Oh, okay. The mastermind. You're doing it for profit. So you're going to Spain, which sounds great. Yeah, Madrid. But as part of you, did you love working so close to home on Game of Thrones all those years? It was wonderful. I could have commuted.

That sounds wonderful. Oh, yeah. Not only that, Westeros, the best place to Dublin is less than two hours. Yeah. When we were in, there was another studio that we had called Ban Bridge, the linen mills. It was an old mill that they used to make linen. And that was 45 minutes from my front door. I literally could have got up in the morning

and put my costume on and drove over. They probably wouldn't let you put your costume on yourself, would they? No, they wouldn't because I'd have stolen it, along with everything else that I stole out of the place. Do you try to talk them into shooting the hot zone up in Ireland? Guys, this could pass for the You just have to wait until the rain stops.

Yeah, it's true. Similar kind of rain. Yeah, I was wondering because you did take a lot of stuff you said from the set. Yes. Are we going to see that stuff show up on eBay? I mean, what's going to... No, it depends how my career goes. If it shows up on eBay, you'll know the career's not going well.

Okay. No, my daughter would stop me. It depends how the Spain price... She has a wall of awesome. That's what she keeps all the stuff. So you did it for your daughter. Technically. That's what I tell all the stuff So you did it for your daughter Technically That's what I tell her

Well we did want to encourage you to go ahead and take anything that you want from Conan's dressing room I've taken the big nutty, the nutty hat What's that thing? Oh yeah The bobble head The bobble head, that's only 25 feet tall I can get that on the plane It's supposedly the world's largest bobble head

Oh wow But I don't think there was paperwork to get a Guinness record. And it was like, oh, who can be bothered? I've actually come back from my costume that I wore. I made a wonderful movie called A Little Princess with Alfonso Cuaron. Oh. Years ago. 1994, would you believe?

Yeah. Just in one of the, with Mark Johnson producing. It was Alfonso's first Hollywood movie. Oh, my God. It was a beautiful movie. I'm still's first Hollywood movie. Oh my God. It was a beautiful movie and I'm still incredibly proud of it. Oh great.

And I made that just across here. I can't remember, it's date 29 or something. Oh cool. 27 or 29. Welcome back. Yeah, it's nice to be anywhere.

Well we have to wrap up. Yeah, we promised you. Where are you going to go eat? Did you tell us? Yeah, like I'm going to tell you. This doesn't air until Friday. Yeah, totally. I'll be gone. I'll be gone. Where are you going to go eat? Did you tell us? Yeah, like I'm going to tell you. This doesn't air until Friday. Yeah, don't worry. I'll be gone.

I'll be gone. Where am I going? I don't know. Probably going to Chateau Marmont or something. Oh, I love that. The frog will love it. It's true. I have to tell you this.

Yes. Yeah. You know all the famous history of the Chateau? Yes. My kids have always been saying, Dad, you have to write a book. You really should. And it was all these wonderful people and all the deaths and destruction that happened in the Chateau.

And I always kind of went, yeah, I don't consider myself a real actor until I've upset the management. Yeah, until you peed on the carpet and the guests over it. Yeah, until I vomited on my own head. So whatever it may be in front of the owner. They threw us out

we had a party after an LA premiere and the management were fantastic it wasn't just me it was all of us including some of the management from Game of Thrones

who shall remain nameless and we were in this room and they came up when we opened the door and everybody had to keep quiet the guy leaned in and he goes, we haven't had a complaint from one of your

neighbours. We've had a complaint from everybody on the floor. Every room on the floor that we were on had rung the management screaming to get us out of there. And they stopped serving us alcohol. Can you imagine how insulting that is to an Irish man? Imagine stopping selling alcohol to an Irishman.

You're asking for trouble. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, thanks for listening. In a chateau. Yeah, you crossed that off your bucket list. Yeah, that's off the bucket list, man. I'm a real actor. I got thrown out of the chateau.

That's fantastic. That should be part of the experience you can sign up for at that hotel. For an extra charge, you can get thrown out at four in the morning. The entire floor bonded against you. They said, come downstairs. We'll give you drinks downstairs. And they lured us out of the room. When we got down, they went, Burt's Claws.

They laughed at us. They literally were holding a bottle in front of you and going, this way. It was a carton stick approach. All right, watch the steps. Well, now you know to stop at CVS on the way to your room and pick up some liquor. Yeah. Exactly. Excellent. Well, Liam Cunningham, thank you know to stop at CVS on the way to your room and pick up some liquor. Yeah. Exactly. Excellent.

Well, Liam Cunningham, thank you so much. And we will be watching the next two weeks. So will I. I haven't seen them yet. To see if you get killed. So will I. To see if I get killed. And we'll be watching the Hot Zone.

Hot Zone. Please do. When does that air? Memorial Day. Is that 27th of May? 27th of May. Yeah. And it's over three nights.

Two per night. Oh, great. I'm glad National Geographic's into dramas now. Why not? Yeah. Everyone else is. And they've done a good job on this. Good. Great. Thank you, Liam. Thank you. Thanks. Hi, Rose.

Hello, Rose. Rose, Matafayo. Matafayo. I guess Matafayo. I'm trying to say, I never have said my last name. You're guessing. Out loud. Yeah, it's hard. So the last couple of years I've been trying to make it right.

So how are you saying it these days? Matafayo? Mata? Mata? Yeah, yeah. Matafayo. Any thought about just changing it to Rose? Yeah, just like share, like do a Cher.

Yeah, absolutely. I've always thought about that. No, apparently, because I'm half Samoan, half Polynesian. It's a Polynesian name. But then apparently in Spanish, that actually literally means kill ugly person. Oh, my God. I just realized that. Yeah.

It means kill. Matafayo means kill ugly. Oh, my. Yeah. All right. That's a powerful name. It's hugely ugly. Oh, my. Yeah. All right. That's a powerful name. It's hugely powerful.

And someone suggested I change that. But, no, I think it's quite a good energy to bring to my studio. Yes. For those in the know. Yeah, definitely. So you're from New Zealand. I'm from New Zealand, yes. Is there a big Samoan population in New Zealand? Yes.

I think it's the largest Samoan population. Oh, my God. Your Siri was activated. Siri's recording this. That's amazing. You asked a question and your Siri was activated. That's creepy. That's crazy.

You know what? I can't trust the guests all the time. I know. That's true. Double check. Double check. Yes, no, we're very close to the Pacific Island. We're a Pacific Island ourselves.

Right, of course. So, yeah, there are a lot. Has anyone been to New Zealand? I was just there. Jessie was there. What? Over Christmas. Were you?

I spent Christmas and New Year's there. That's incredible. Yeah. Rose is stunned. The Kiffy track? I'm truly, truly stunned. I mean, like, that's crazy. Did you enjoy it?

Oh, my God. This is the embarrassing thing about being from New Zealand is that when anyone has been, I act like, you know like it was my house. Did you have enough time? Did you have enough, you know, like the bed was fine? Everyone in New Zealand was like that. I couldn't believe you would drive. Well, first of all, no one locks up their bikes, which I think is insane.

Oh, yeah. They're just bikes laying around everywhere and no one steals them. That's great. That's strange. And then people leave out like free stuff from their garden on the street. It's like, hey, we grew too many carrots. That's great. That's strange. And then people leave out like free stuff from their garden on the street. So you're, you're, it's like,

Hey, we made, we grew too many carrots. Here's extras. Yeah. Just on the, on the side of the road. A lot of honesty box kind of fruit stalls and vegetable stalls out front of

houses. Yeah. It's a very small town, small Island vibe. I do enjoy it. Yeah. Everyone was so friendly. Even the police that pulled us over,

we got pulled over twice for speeding because we didn't realize the speed limit. It never goes over 60 miles an hour anywhere. They had extra tickets. Yeah. Here you go. I've been driving for the first time in LA and I felt like I've been in Vin Diesel or something. Yes. I'm going crazy.

Going over 100K. Yeah. So you got two police encounters. Yeah, I'm going crazy. Going over 100K. Yeah. So you got two police encounters. Yeah, we had two tickets and then one of them they were filming a reality show.

Yes, Police 107 probably. Yes. Yeah. That's like a cop. It's like New Zealand's cops and we were on it. Oh, are you kidding me?

Yeah. That's amazing. I know. That's incredible. And that is the biggest, the most widely, I feel like, exported television show along with Border Patrol, which is a big one for us, which is at the airport with all the people because we've got really strict border things.

So strict. The customs. Customs is very huge. Like bring, I mean, you know, you could bring in like ammunition, but you can't bring in a sandwich. You know what I mean? It's a very like. Yeah. We had to run our hiking boots like through an x-ray machine because if you have a

speck of pollen that is not when you're leaving yeah then they like make you throw your no when you come in oh yeah because they don't want you to bring on invasive species right right right no they're not worried about you stealing precious pollen take it take it we love our allergies here do not take it but yeah no i love i. Do not take them. But yeah, no, I love New Zealand. Also, your prime minister is amazing. Jacinda, yeah. She came to my show the other day. What?

What? She's very cool. I'm starstruck. That's incredible. Yeah, she's, that's how, this is how small New Zealand is. I've known her vaguely from being the arts minister in Auckland and stuff. Oh my God. Is that where you're from, Auckland?

Yes, yeah. Okay. She's come to our improv show. She's done a monologue at our improv show before. Get out of here. She's amazing. Wow. No, she's in her late 30s,

and she became prime minister when she was not married. She just had a boyfriend, and they had a baby out of wedlock. Yeah. And everyone's like, this is cool. That would never happen here. Didn't she just have another baby? No, no, she just got engaged. She just wedlock. Yeah. And it's, everyone's like, this is cool. That would never happen here. Didn't she just have another baby? No,

no, she just got engaged. She just got engaged. Okay. Um, but she, yeah, she's,

she's great. She's cool. She's, yeah. I did, I did, I did my show in front of her and there's a lot of questionable material in that. I was like,

oh, I'm doing this in front of the prime minister of New Zealand. That's cool. Did you, did you call that out when you were doing the show? No, I didn't address it because I feel like it would, she was kind of on a date night. So I was kind of like,? No, I didn't address it because I feel like She was kind of on a date night So I was kind of like

I didn't want to bother her But she has to travel with Be with those agents or whatever Who have to suss out the place beforehand And all that, but I just find it funny that Her taste in comedy dictate Their evening, you know what I mean? They have to go see This mad woman doing a show about you know whatever i just think that's quite funny

against their will i mean i bet there are many people against their will who come to my coffee show i mean those people are very officially again that's how it works here in the united states as well well yeah we should contextualize you for the listeners. Please, please. You are on the Conan show this week. It's your first time on the show, right? Yes. Yeah. Oh my gosh, yes. And you're doing a one-woman show. Well, yes, I've been doing a one-woman show. Horned Dog. Yes, I did it in Edinburgh last year and all over the place. Are you doing it in the United States on this trip? I did one show in February at the start of February and it was super fun here in LA but I want to come back

and I want to do it maybe in New York later on in the year or something but yeah, no, I want to, yeah. Are you doing other shows on this trip or did you come here just for this? I've been doing a couple of shows or just like warm up gigs and stuff but yeah, I haven't gigged in LA ever so it's been very interesting. Like done like, you know, spots and stuff. Right. So that's been really cool and interesting. Yeah, what do you think?

Yeah, what do you think of LA? It's very interesting. I think I would not describe my stand-up as very confident, you know. And it's a very jarring thing to come to the States, and everyone's very confident. Everyone. Oh, they're all faking it. But that's the thing I've heard. They're all faking it. Oh, the comedians are the least confident people in the world. Exactly. I know that.

I think in the UK, I'm based in the UK, I think people are much more painfully aware of it. But I've been inspired by the confidence levels of everyone. I've felt more relaxed. I'm a very nervous person on stage and off, some would argue. But I'm not getting up here. That's real nerves on stage? That's real nerves. Well, yeah.

Because it doesn't seem that way. It seems like it's just your persona. I mean, I don't know where it ends and begins anymore. I don't know. No, I think I'm still nervous. So do you have a bead on New Zealand comics versus British comics versus U.S. comics? Well, I mean, the major confidence thing is definitely a huge thing. New Zealand comedians are, I don't know, I think New Zealand has some of the best comedy. So much good comedy comes out of New Zealand.

Why do you think that is? Because it's such a nice place. And that's what makes, would make me think that there wouldn't be good comedy. Well, that's, that's a good point. I think what it is,

is that it's such a weird, it's, it's so isolated. It's so far away. So it's kind of like, you're allowed to just do. It's mostly birds too. And sheep.

Birds and sheep. We've got a lot of birds per capita. It's really the, a lot of bird comedy in New Zealand. A lot of our material is about birds. That travels because they're a worldwide phenomenon. Exactly. I hear you've got birds here as well. Yes.

Very confident. Yeah, exactly. Confident birds. Oh, man. To be fair, you do have confident birds. Our birds, that's why you can't bring in hiking boots with any pollen on it because the birds will see that and die. Like every bird is endangered in New Zealand.

And you touch it like a tree, it will die. It's very delicate. They're trying to get rid of all the invasive possums. Possums are evil. Possums can get out. Those are invasive. What happened is that when the evil British came, they brought along, you know, guns and

stoats and weasels. And the stoats and weasels and possums ate all of our endangered species, eggs. And we've been undoing that ever since, really. Everyone's so mad at the Brits still. I know. I love it. Just like leave stoats and weasels off. Just don't bring stoats and weasels, guys.

Yeah. You have to go out of your way to put stoats and weasels on a boat. You really do. That's obnoxious. Possums are like endangered species in Australia, but we hate them in New Zealand. We kill them. You started putting them into sweaters. Oh, my God.

Yeah. There's like nipple covers that they make out of possum fur and stuff now. They really take it a bit too far. I just learned about the emu war in Australia. Did you ever hear of that? No. The emu war? The emu war. They tried to eradicate emus in the 30s, ranchers in Australia.

Why? Just because they were destroying crops. What about in cane toads? They introduced cane toads They're trying to eradicate them now Right well that's what I was worried Maybe they'd introduce wolves to try to eat the possums I don't know what is wrong with us

We just introduce bigger things to eat the thing And then they get out of control We never learn it's ridiculous We're bringing in elephants to stomp them It's not working Yep How long have you been doing comedy? in elephants to stomp them. It's not working. Yep. So that's New Zealand. How long have you been doing comedy?

Embarrassingly, like 12 years. Why is that embarrassing? Well, it's because I don't know if that is reflected in the quality of it. No, I hate when people are like, oh, it's six months and now I'm Conan. Yeah, that's terrible. God, no. I still find it uncomfortable calling myself a comedian. It's very, I don't know why it's taken so long.

You have the imposter syndrome. 100%. Oh, my God. I started when I was like 15 doing open mics and I've done it since then. So, yeah, but I still don't really ride it on an airport kind of customs. Right. What do you put as your profession? I used to do performer,

but then I was like, maybe they think I'm like some sort of dancer. Oh, like a sonic dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a performer. Yeah. I won't tell you what kind. So now it's tax accountant.

Yeah, exactly. They saw the nipple tassels. Yeah, exactly. The kind of possum, yeah, nipple covers. That's fine. No, I put improviser. No, I'm just kidding. They're like, no profession. That means something you get paid to do. Yeah, I work iner. No, I'm just kidding. They're like, no, profession.

That means something you get paid to do. Yeah, we can improv. I think I just write comedian now because it's just brutal because they ask about a joke. Oh, that's the worst. They say, where are you performing? How would you describe your particular type of comedy? I don't know, man. I'm not funny.

That's what I say. And they're like, oh, self-deprecating. Oh, God. You're not funny. That's what I say. And they're like, oh, self-deprecating. Oh, God. You're not a U.S. comic. Yeah, get out. Turn around. But, you know, I've been doing it for a while, and it's been going okay, and I've got no other skills to fall back on.

Great. Is this your first late-night appearance in the U.S.? Yes, it is. Oh, that's exciting. Does New Zealand have late-night shows or similar? Okay. No, everything shuts down at about 10. Yeah. As you know. People go to bed. No, we don't. We've got, you know, I've done bits and bobs of telly

around, but no, there's nothing like the late night culture. Even really in the UK, it's amazing here. It's just so cool. Because I would grow up watching late night shows from the US and New Zealand, which was always weird and fun. It's kind of a big deal. It is a big deal. And so what are you doing to prepare besides this podcast? I'm sort of, I don't know.

I get very nervous. I tend to freak out. I mean, this is going to be amazing to go out after I completely bomb, die on my ass. I'm like, wow, she didn't see it coming. She did not see it coming. We can do a post-tape if you'd like. Can you? This was recorded pre-her appearance.

Please take everything with a grain of salt. No, I don't know. I don't know. I get terribly nervous before everything. And I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing because I feel like a certain amount of nerves is good. Yes. Otherwise, you're a sociopath. Exactly.

It's a sign of intelligence. Yeah. I would cling to that. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Moderately concerned. I mean, I often say self-esteem is the enemy of progress.

I think it's a great thing to have low self-esteem. It really motivates you to try hard. But no, I think I just try and relax. Did you bring people with you today? Like, do you have friends or agent? Your team. Yeah. My team.

Oh, my God. One day I have a team. That's all I want one day is a team. No, I've got my lovely manager from England and my friend Chelsea is coming to see me. Cool. And that's about it. I don't know of anyone else in LA.

You don't need a big entourage. Are there New Zealand expat comics in London? Like, do you hang out together? Yes, there are a couple, yeah. Yeah. And there aren't any in really, I don't know of any in LA, actually. A couple in New York. Right.

But definitely, no, we do hang out in the UK. Or probably Australian comics, too. Some, yes, but we definitely know we do hang out probably Australian comics too some yes but we stay away from them your natural enemies our natural enemies in the wild they're comedy possums that's probably the Brits doing is to keep the Australians

and New Zealanders from getting along it's the Brits again the Commonwealth exactly if you throw Canadians in there oh my gosh game over Yes. The Commonwealth. Because then you'd rise up and overthrow them. Exactly. We'd become republics. If you throw Canadians in there. Oh, man. Oh, my gosh.

Game over. Yeah. No one could. Goodbye, royal family. Yes. It's wild that we're still part of the Commonwealth. Yeah. It's so far away. We're literally in the opposite side of the world.

It's ridiculous. Yeah. I won't say that too much, though, because I do have a visa to live in England. Thank you very much, guys. Thank you. Thank you for letting me. They're hoarders. They don't like to throw things out.

This is in the very back shelf of the garage. They don't even visit that much. Come on. This is ridiculous. Are there still British royalty on your money? It's pretty much similar to Canada

and Australia. It's wild. We'd have God Save the Queen play in cinemas in the 50s or whatever. It's silly. It's silly. It's so funny. But I think the UK government are going to listen to this and probably revoke my visa. I love the Queen. That's more like it.

I doubt they are going to listen. I love the Queen. I wouldn't worry. Are you excited about the new Royal Baby? I met them. I met them. I did the Royal Variety, I wouldn't worry. Are you excited about the new royal baby? Yeah, I met them. I met them. I did the Royal Variety Gala. They came to your show.

They came to my show. No, I did that Variety Gala they do at the end of Christmas every year, and it was Harry and Meghan, and they meet everyone. And weirdly, I was the very start of the line. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, I met them. It was quite funny. That's exciting.

It was very funny. Meghan, like, glided over. Yeah. Do you actually shake? Do you touch them? Like, do you shake their hands? We totally touched. Oh, I would have had such sweaty palms.

I touched the hell out of those hands. They were crazy. Pintera's really tall. Well, she's an American. She's a good icebreaker. And then you do. Yeah. She did kind of seem like she didn't know who I was or why I was there.

She was like, hi. She was like, well done. Yeah. I was like, on what? she was like hi she's like well done yeah I'm working on getting pregnant yeah yeah yeah she was pregnant at the time oh wow but she was like obviously that crazy amount of like pregnant of like looked gorgeous and was like yeah just glowing and glowing and so fertile yeah I did the horrible thing like Harry was like oh we went to New Zealand um recently and I did the horrible, oh, did you have a nice time? So embarrassing.

New Zealand's so popular now. I'm surprised you're surprised. No, it's popular. Such a big tourist destination. Oh, yeah. It's just so beautiful. Like Lord of the Rings. Have you been all over? I mean, have you done like, because we did one of the great walks, which was the reason we went.

Yes, right. And have you done some of those? That's the weird thing about coming from New Zealand is that sometimes you don't do the things. Yeah. But I have done bits and bobs. I've traveled around mainly doing comedy tours and stuff around the South Island and all that.

But I do need to go back and properly look at my own backyard. I mean, I hadn't been to the Grand Canyon until last year. Oh, yeah. It's exactly the same as that, isn't it? It's like, you know, when it's there, you're like, oh, you know. Yeah, I'll get to it. It's fine. I'll get to it one day.

I still haven't been to the Pacific Ocean ever. Wow. I heard it's great. Yeah, what are you doing while you're in L.A.? Do you have any? What have I been doing? I've been kind of, oh, I've been having a wonderful time. I've just been walking around bookshops and pretending, you know, to be like.

There's one bookshop here in L.A. Pretending that I can read. Yeah, yeah. Just that one bookshop. I've really enjoyed it. That was it. And it's a set. Yeah.

All of the books are like ending. These books won't come off the shelves. It's kind of like a decal of a bookshelf, you know. I've just been enjoying walking around and seeing, I like a lot of mid-century architecture. I went to Palm Springs four days ago. Oh, that's great. Oh, you went alone?

I went alone. I love that. It was incredible. You should go places alone. It's the best. I just had a good time. I went and ate in a lot of restaurants alone. A lot of concerned waitstaff around about me.

Did you drive down to the Sultan Sea? I'm obsessed with the Sultan Sea. No, I didn't. It's this man-made sea that is now drying up. It's around an hour south of Palm Springs. Oh my gosh. It's all meth heads now that live there. It is. People have abandoned it. They wanted it to be the next Las Vegas.

I mean the next Palm Springs in the 60s. And the salinity levels went way up. Wow. And people just moved away. And now when you drive through. It's all dead fish. It's dead fish and gridded vacation towns with no buildings. I want to go.

Yes. Next time I'm going to go there. Next time you come. It's really weird. It's great. Sounds like a healthy place to go alone. Yeah. I'll go with a friend.

Well, it's very exciting to have you on the show tonight. It is. And we can't wait to watch. Break a leg. And hopefully we won't have you back on after the show because that'll mean you did well. I want to do a post-match. I want to do a post-match. I want to come back and do some apologies.

Well, I don't think it's going to be necessary. Okay, hopefully not. Touch wood. Touch wood. It'll be great. Yeah. Thanks for having me. Rose, it's so lovely to talk to you.

Yes, thank you. Thanks for having me to talk to you. Yes, thank you. Thank you for talking to you guys. We're going to be on our best behavior. Sure, why not? The boss is here. Oh, why would this stop you? Just because it's being recorded? Have we started yet? Yeah.

Of course we've started. This is it. We're almost done. Welcome to the show, executive producer Jeff Ross. Hi, Jeff. Thank you. Hey, Swains. Welcome to the show.

This is exciting. Now, you're here because next week it's the annual Turner Upfronts in New York City. All the networks, television networks have their upfronts in New York City. All the networks, television networks, have their upfronts in New York next week. And our producers thought that listeners would be fascinated to hear about television upfronts. I want to know whose idea this was. I don't listen. A fan sent it in.

The poor thing is. That's really unlikely. But this will probably be podcast history. I don't think anyone has ever discussed a TV thing is. That's really unlikely. But this will probably be podcast history. I don't think anyone has ever discussed a TV up front. That's true. On the millions of podcasts out there. It's never been discussed out loud. No.

It's because it's the most ridiculous thing in the world. And why do you. Do you want to explain what up fronts are? Yes. Sure. As best I can. Well, sure. It is when the networks, cable networks and broadcast networks, trot out their wares to the advertisers.

And they... They sound like streetwalkers. They pretty much are. At least probably the ad sales people are. Well, it's sort of like Fashion Week, where the designers all show off their new collection. And look for buyers. Yeah.

What an analogy. It is. But, well, I remember the days at NBC, because we've been doing the show for like 25 years, and we've seen probably 25 of these, and been to too many of those 25. They used to be back then at Radio City Music Hall. NBC had them at Radio City. Right.

They also had it at Lincoln Center, I think. They were also at Lincoln Center. Okay. But they would spend so much money. They would nickel and dime us on our budget

and then they'd spend like what would probably amount to a third of the show budget for the year on the upfront. Wow. Jeff, you need to divorce

your own personal stake. Oh, okay. It makes me angry. And think of those advertising buyers. Well, what's involved in these presentations? Are people bringing elephants? I mean, why is it so expensive? Well, I've never been to it, but apparently the CBS one, when a certain person was running CBS. Right. They used to have, I think.

Male or female. I think the Who performed. They were at the Who. What? Really? Yes. Oh, yeah. They had a sitcom for a while. Remember? That is the ultimate selling out. I can't think of anything. They killed off Keith Moon and the show kept going. But no, they

like, they'll like rent out Radio City or in the case of Turner, they do it at the theater at Madison Square Garden and they I think they're in Atlanta now, now in a warehouse doing rehearsals. Rehearsing. And all this, you know, they spend crazy amounts of money and put a lot of pressure on it. And then the Turner one, at least, doesn't last very long. I think it only is like an hour.

It's in the morning. But that's if you remember, Sweeney, the NGC one. We used to either have to go or watch on because we we could watch it somehow on the well it was on the it was on the mbc feed and would go on for like three hours it would be on a work day and all work at the show would come to a complete stop right because you it was so you it were it was the mbc executives coming, speaking very kind of like this. If you think last year was great, wait till you see Emeril on a sitcom. And you'd be like, what?

And then they bring Emeril out. Yes. Well, no, they'd introduce a new show with like 15 cast members. At the end, they'd fly in the cast members. To parade them out. But no one knows. There might be one recognizable face, and the rest are kind of ingenues. And they just would bring them out.

It was just all a crazy cattle call. And then of the 10 shows they show, or the 10 shows that they parade people out for, at the end of the year, there's like two left. Yes, well, that was the other, we'd all gather, all the writers would watch, because they would show 10-minute highlights of their new sitcoms, and some of them play to absolute silence.

And you just couldn't even believe these things were made, they were and they were trying to sell them to people it was the other thing they would have to do with it the reason we talk about the nbc one because it just was longer and a bigger production i remember people like lauren michaels whoever had to sit like in the second row for like the whole three hours and just you just want to die put up with that isn't there a point at which you're rich enough to not have to go? Well, I remember.

We were always like, when it would get close to the upfront at NBC, we would always go, please don't ask, please don't ask, please don't ask. And then they'd always sometimes, well, we didn't do it every year, but at Turner, I think, right? I think we've done it every year.

Yeah, Conan's gone every year. Oh, one year. One year we didn't even have to do it. I think it was one year, but like three years ago. But Turner's been very fun and loose. Yes, yes. They've been cool about it. Yeah.

Where does the Turner one take place? The theater at Madison Square Garden. Oh. Nothing to do with the fact we work for Turner now. The only two people in this room who would know this is me and Sweeney, formerly called the Felt Forum. Yeah, baby. Boxing.

Right? No. What? They had boxing at the Felt Forum. Maybe they did. Yeah. Sure. Just play along, Jeff. I think I saw your favorite band at the felt forum the kinks correct all right not dating ourselves at all do you think they're performing as part of the turner not dating ourselves that would be great

that we have the kinks that would be what if you love the who's sitcom wait till you see the kinks share an apartment. But anyway, the upfront presentation is always like an eye-rolling event for us. But you get a free trip to New York. Yeah, true. Sure. I mean, you probably got a week of dinner reservations lined up. Let's hear where you're going.

I do. I do. What are you excited about? You know what? This gets into all another conversation about New York. You haven't been excited about anything since the mid-70s. Right? I'm excited about our next travel show.

Oh, okay. Can't talk about that. No, we can't. I'll just go along for the ride because I'm the one who has to figure out where we got to eat. Now, in addition to eating next week, do you go to all those parties? I've never gone to a single party. I just got the invitations. They're having two events. One is like a dinner drinks thing.

And then the other one is like, I think they have like Diplo. I guess he's a DJ. Kids? Kids? Diplo? Right. Come on.

They have Diplo. Like it starts at 10 o'clock and goes till, and it says it goes till whenever and then the invitation or something. And I'm like, yeah. Question mark. Yeah, I think. 11 o'clock. You may not see me there. I will drag you to that one.

Sweeney's will be there. You may not see me. Gotta be there for the dip. Oh, Sweeney wouldn't miss Diplo. No way. So, yes, that will be very exciting. But it's, you know, I know you really want to talk about this topic, but the up front is not the most exciting thing in the world that we are involved with in our lives and careers. We got to mention Emeril in The Who.

This is cutting edge stuff. I do remember when they brought out Emeril. They brought him. Yeah. I remember that one. I was sitting in the audience for that one. You were pinching yourself. Was that a sitcom it was a sitcom it was called emerald but that they literally would have him come out you know at least they went with him and not like

paul they might have even given him jokes yeah but they were you know what it was a few years ago a friend of mine uh was it brought it up he's obsessed with that show and i'm like well let's just watch it on youtube there's only like six episodes it was nowhere on YouTube I was like well I'll dig it it's got to be on Amazon wasn't on Amazon we I had to buy it on the internet from some shady guy in Great Britain it was the only way I could get it oh wow and and we were all excited of course we still haven't watched them they were I mean I can't think of them now, but they were always like, they had these big announcements, like, we're bringing back the cast of some NBC show. And you're like, oh, my God.

No. So many of them were DOA, and you just, it was a fun train wreck to watch. Are there also, like, technical presentations? Do people do PowerPoints about Q1? Those are real. They usually bring out. I don't know why I'm laughing. Well, because it's actually funny.

They bring out. All the networks, I think, do this. At least I've only been to the NBC one and the Turner one. But the head of sales comes out. Right. And the head of sales at Turner's name is Donna Speciale. And they're always like, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Donna. At 10 a.m.

Oh, yeah. Nine. Yeah. Donna Speciale. And it's like, oh. Okay. Yep. It's an alternate universe.

You go, this is show business? Really? I know. And then they leave with charts, pie charts. Oh, yeah. Graph charts, all different types. Cross-platform and phrases. In color.

Like, what does this mean? Wow. Yeah, it's quite a thing. And then they save the attend, and they do the entertainment a little later, I think. I love how they never fess up. Like, they never apologize for the previous year. Oh, yeah. You know the best? Sorry about those shows last year.

Do you remember the time? It was the time actually Conan didn't have to do it was when they had the Inside the NBA guys be like the hosts of it and they had the set. It was actually not bad because those guys are funny. They're great. They're great together. That's a good idea. That was a good idea. I don't know why they didn't do it again. They seemed to like to do

a lot of things over and over. Why wouldn't they do the one that worked? Well, it's not good idea. That was a good idea. I don't know why they didn't do it again. They seemed to like to do a lot of things over and over. Why wouldn't they do the one that worked? Well, it's not too late. You can talk to them. You should be in charge, Jeff. You need an executive producer. Somebody in show business should be in charge. Well, have fun there next week.

No, no, no. You'll be with me, sweetie. I'm just here to tell Conan, like, yeah, that was great. When you told Shaq, he was really tall. Good one, sweetie. I'm just here to tell Conan, like, yeah, that was great when you told Shaq he was really tall. Good one, Conan. Good one. He'll ask you back for next year. Well, there's the, when is this?

Here's the film for him. Is this this week's podcast? This is for this week, yeah. All right, then I can't say what I was going to say because I don't want to get us in trouble. Oh. I was going to talk about the things that we may do. Because there are times where they go, oh, yeah, you shouldn't do that. That'll piss off this guy or that guy or this executive.

Right. Why don't we just say, that happened back at NBC, but not on the current network, of course. Oh, no, no. They would never do such a thing. Well, we'll have to do a follow-up with you. Well, that we'll do after we come back. And we'll find out how were the upfronts. I'm like, anywhere I ate.

Yeah, that'll be exciting. We should have you on every week to talk about your meals. It's almost as exciting as the topic of the upfronts. Yeah, I know. I would like anywhere I ate. Yeah, that'll be exciting. We should have you on every week to talk about your meals. It's almost as exciting as the topic of the upfronts. Yeah, I know. I would like that. Yeah. It'll be like following you on Instagram. That's exciting, too.

It is. Well, you know, we'll be in New York next week, actually. I know. Are you doing this in New York? Yeah, we're recording. We're recording some interviews. I'll come by and tell you where I've eaten. Some ex-Late Night Riders.

Well, we could talk about how the upfront went went, because will it be after the up front? Thursday, absolutely. Or we could be backstage and you can comment during, live comment during the up front. There will be definitely something for you to talk about because something stupid will happen. All right. Great. You heard it here

first, folks. Okay. For Swains to talk about. Great. Great. More up front chat. There'll be something that happens in that show where you'll go, oh my God, they didn't really just do that. And the public demands it.

They're going to want follow-ups too. All right, folks. You heard it here first. An upfront exclusive. Oh boy. Yeah, well, merry upfronts, Jeff.

What do you say? That sounds about right. Don't say it just to me. To Sweene's, too. We're holding hands on this one. I try to protect. On all of them. I try to divorce myself from this whole business process.

Okay. See you guys. Thank you. Thanks, Jeff. Bye. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. All right. That was our show. Thank you tomorrow. All right.

That was our show. Thank you to Jeff Ross. Thanks, Jeff, for psyching everybody up. For the big upfronts. Actually, Jesse and I will be at the upfronts next week as well. Yeah. We're going to New York to interview for the podcast. Some former writers for Conan.

Yep. And performers. Some late night greats. Yeah. Really good list lined up of interviews that you guys will hear. People we can't lure out of New York City. So we're going to them

and it's going to be worth it. Yeah, no, it's going to be great. But even though we'll be in New York, we will have an episode next week. Oh, of course. Yeah, great episode next week. Yeah, because Hollywood never sleeps. That's right.

With the great Jimmy Pardo. Yeah, Jimmy Pardo. Very excited. Anyway, that's our show. Thanks for right. With the great Jimmy Pardo. Yeah, Jimmy Pardo. Very excited. Anyway, that's our show. Thanks for listening. Thank you very much. And we like you. Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast,

is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jesse Gaskell. Produced by Kevin Bartelt. Engineered by Will Becton. Mixed by Ryan Connor. Supervising producer is Aaron Blair. Associate producer, Jen Samples. Executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross. Jeff Ross.

Jeff Ross and Team Coco. And Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf. Thanks to Jimmy Vivino for our theme music and interstitials. You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. And of course, please subscribe and tell a friend to listen to Inside Conan on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher,

Google Podcasts, or whatever platform you like best! This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.