Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Maria Bamford

Episode Date: September 27, 2019

Comedian extraordinaire Maria Bamford joins Conan writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to talk about being a part of a new scripted podcast series from Team Coco called Frontier Tween, Conan being her first TV appearance in 1998, her many temp jobs in Los Angeles including playing a Star Trek character who traveled to various Jack in the Box locations in Southern California, and more. This episode is brought to yo by Vital Farms (www.vitalfarms.com/coupon), Tailor Store (www.tailorstore.com/insideconan), and M&Ms Hazelnut.Check out Conan Without Borders: Greenland: https://teamcoco.com/greenlandCheck out Conan25: The Remotes: https://conan25.teamcoco.com/Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail] For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com

And now, it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hey, and welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. I'm Mike Sweeney. I'm Jesse Gaskell. We have writers here at the Conan Show, and every week... Oh, no, I just said indeed. I'm sorry. No, I thought you said deet.

I thought you were mentioning the insecticide. Yes, indeed. Trying to sneak in a good deet mention whenever I can. Slash deet. I knew you were. They're not even a sponsor. And we like to talk about things going on behind the scenes here at The Conan Show. And I think we get some great guests who talk about their connection to the show or to Conan.

And today is no different. Who do we have today? Today, Maria Bamford. She's fantastic. Comedian extraordinaire. Yes. I love her I've loved her

for a long time she's so talented and so refreshingly different from so many stand up comics she

I mean I never know exactly what she's going to say where it's going it's a little bit of a roller coaster because you're scared for a second

you don't want to stop listening yeah very funny but she actually so she's been on the show many times on Conan for a second. You don't want to stop listening. Yeah. Very funny. But she actually, so she's been on the show many times. On Conan.

She was on Late Night and on the current iteration. Yeah. But she also is the star of a new scripted podcast series from Team Coco. Yeah. Called Frontier Tween.

That just debuted. Yes. It's available now on Luminary. And it's hilarious. That just debuted. Yes. It's available now on Luminary. And it's hilarious. She's hilarious. It's a perfect role for her. Yes.

Because she, you know, if you're familiar with her stand-up, she does a lot of voices. Right. And this voice just fits in perfectly with her oeuvre. It's pretty perfect. Yeah. It's a very funny, she's really funny doing the character. Yeah. It's a funny character. And we had a lot of fun talking to Maria. Yep. So's a very funny, she's really funny doing the character. Yeah. It's a funny character.

And we had a lot of fun talking to Maria. Yep. So let's get into it. We're here with Maria Bamford. Hello, Maria. Thank you so much for having me on the podcast. Oh, it's our pleasure. Thank you for being here.

Team Coco. Oh, wow. You just learned what that was a few minutes ago. Well. I'm very supportive. It's a rather amorphous creature. Ever-changing. Maria, I've been a fan of yours since the mid-aughts.

Oh, thank God. Thank God. What were you doing in the late 90s? I didn't have my shit together. I'm sorry. No, I just tuned in recently. Stumptail's nice. But you have been performing since the 90s.

It's in the 90s. And I believe Conan was my first TV appearance. Oh, really? Yes. I was so terrified. If you ever have a dream come true, you might think that it's going to feel good. But I felt terrified for the first two weeks beforehand. Then once I did it, it went swimmingly, as far as I could tell.

And I was paid, and it was a delightful experience. Mr. Conan O'Brien was very kind to me. And then, yeah, and I've been on a few times since. And yes, love show business. I like that advice. If you have dreams, don't pursue them. Because it might be painful. It was very surprising to me that I felt so terrified.

Right. That I thought it would all, yeah, that I would feel like it was meant to be. Which, yeah, sometimes it does. Sometimes it's been like, oh, no, it's scary. It's just a new thing that I've never done. And so I don't. Well, because the stakes are so high. And if it goes wrong, then you think, oh, well, that means then the dream is dead.

Yes. And what I like to tell myself before every big thing that I think is a big thing, which it probably isn't, is I can be the poor example from others' greatness can be determined. I can inspire others by my terrible work. You're the control group. Yeah, that I can make meaning out of that. Just don't do this.

Yes, exactly. It can be meaning out of that. Just don't do this. Yes, exactly. It can be useful in some way. That's a great way to psych yourself up. Exactly. You'll go into the history books one way or another. However you can rationalize. Well, I would think going on TV for the first time seems terrifying. Oh, yeah.

That's a natural thing to be afraid of. Yes, yes. It's all these built-in things to scare the shit out of you. Yeah, which it seems magical. That's a healthy fear. People might have less fear now because we do film so many things at a young age. Yes, people grow up being recorded from birth now. Yeah, I'm sure that won't have any side effects.

No. Do you ever see old, like Edward R. Murrow, just, just early television from the fifties where they're interviewing man on the street and people are so, I mean,

they're just, they're not even aware that there's a camera there. It's, it's such a different, I kind of wish we were still there. Now everyone's in the back and they've got their, you know, like their website and their

sound cloud is shaped into their head. And that face they make when they're done with the sentence. Chew on that one, buddy. Oh, I know. I need to get more meme worthy in my replies to questions. A little dance move. Yeah, you should be a gif.

Yeah, a gif. A human gif. Human gif. So, wow. So that was your first time on. Yeah, what year was that? That was, I believe, 1998. Yeah.

And then, yeah, then, oh, God, things just, it was a straight rocket ship. The 405. Did you, it was a straight rocket ship. Up to 405. Did you know, was it easier? Well, let's go back a sec, because I don't even know really where you started doing stand-up. Was there a city where you kind of came up? I started, did a little in college. Then I started in Minneapolis and did mostly performance art venues and feminist spaces. But then I got a couple gigs

at comedy clubs. Then I moved out here because I got a Star Trek character job in a touring show. Jack in the Box promotions of Deep Space Nine, anybody? No. You've got to slow that down.

I want to hear every detail of that promotion. So you moved here after. Yeah, I got a great job. Six hundred bucks a week to walk around in a tight uniform with some false breasts because that's part of my Bajoran culture. And then with a Vulcan and a Klingon, we go to Jack in the Boxes all over Southern California. And we would speak of our planet. And it was very confusing.

Was this a dream you had? No. It really happened. I'm so grateful because it was a wonderful, fairly easy job. People would just say, can we swear on this? Sure. Get the fuck away from me. You know, like that.

Those were the employees. Yeah. But otherwise, like that. Those were the employees. Occasionally happened. Yeah. But otherwise, it was pretty good. It did not pay well. It probably did pay well enough for me to get the dry cleaning stains of fast food off my uniform. Did you have to eat a lot of Jack in the Box as well? Well, I mean, you're there.

You're there. You gained 200 pounds. It was a great great job then I then I promptly fell into a hole a financial

and emotional hole you know like I just didn't know how to have how to deal with your newfound fame well to live in Los Angeles

it's a very different experience to live below the poverty line here the social services it's it's a road to hoe

so I I got finally figured out uh got some help from some friends who said hey marie you have a college degree why don't you try being a secretary and uh then worked for the studios as a secretary for many years uh as a temp and while doing stand-up uh turns out uh lots of uh places to stand up in los angeles and uh that's that's what i did to make money until i was paid uh to tour oh wow and that's a good way to get material being oh my god having a day job like that yeah i would guess yeah it's very relatable being a temp yeah oh yes tem. Can you work with sharp objects? Yes.

Can you meet them at an unmarked warehouse in downtown Los Angeles? When? You're going to be making airport salad starting at midnight. Why so mysterious? I would have been in from the jump. There's no reason to. You buried the lead. Airport salad starting at midnight.

Come on! All that food does seem like it was made in the dark at night, doesn't it? Oh, it's so weird. I feel better about it now. So many jobs. Did you actually have that job? Yes! I had airport salads and those were rare because the better paying

jobs, that was minimum wage, the better paying jobs are i worked at a laundry factory where i would take uh wire hangers and make them each into one long wire no one told me what the business plan was oh i tried to feel i assume it had meaning best not to ask it was so silly and you did it as a Klingon. Yeah. But, yeah, and I worked on this studio a lot, Warner Brothers. So you didn't need the map? Oh, God, no. You know where all the tunnels are.

I don't know where all the stuff is. No, it was temp, so I never got to get into the tunnels. Oh, okay. Are there tunnels here? Yeah, there are, but I haven't been in them. Yeah. I know they exist. Wow.

Or they're rumored to exist. Or is that a myth? Maybe it is a myth. Why do they need tunnels here? I assume for the sex parties. I don't know. Oh, right, right. The sex party. Wonderful.

But yeah, so it was it is a good job to have in LA to work in the entertainment industry. Is it below the line? Yeah. And then you work in the boring part of the show sometimes, or what can seem boring. But if you like data entry, then wait a minute. So you weren't exposed to any opportunities through that work?

Oh, I had very hilarious experience of like, I would have a development meeting with somebody and then the next week be their secretary. Oh, no. Oh, wow. So good. So rich. Because that happens, I think it's a very humbling industry. Where are we at on the deal? Yeah.

Am I still waiting for the deal? That does seem like the wrong order pitch and then work i once i i had a meeting and i think it was on warner brothers lot and this guy i was a young hot uh you know beast you know as we all are you have your little outfit on and your uh boot scooting along the man was very flirtatious, the executive, walked me to my car. He said, I said, you know what? Probably don't walk me to my car, because it's kind of, I don't want you to see it.

Because it was smooshed on all four sides, and it was covered in feminist bumper stickers. And the guy said, oh, no, I'm cool. You know, back in the day, I used to be in a band. You know, anyways. Cool. He walked me to my car, and he visibly shuddered and was like, oh, oh, oh, oh. Wait, no, that's great, though.

That was like harassment deterrent. Oh, well, exactly. Exactly. And you know who your friends are. You would have been a star if you hadn't had that car. That's how my husband, I fell in love with him because he showed up in his car. We've been married five years in a 9-2 Saturn. The floor's almost running through. And his friends said.

They don't make Saturns anymore, do they? No, they sure don't. And his friends told him, oh, no, man, you've got to take my car. One of his friends says, a Tesla. I was like, take my car. And he's like, no, I'm going to drive in my own car. And I was just, yeah. Because I've dated a lot of people with a shite ton of money who are real assholes.

Oh, yeah. And also aren't very clear about how much money they have. They'll be like, yeah, I got two houses, and I'm just really scared because I'm going to lose the house in the Pacific Palace. That's how you break the ice. Like I just go, no. Scott, he told me this is how much I owe to discover credit cards. This is my

car. I was like, do you own it outright? He's like, yep. I'm like, right on. That's when you fell in love. Seriously. Because sometimes it can be like a weird fantasy town where people you don't understand

what's going on it's all smoke and mirrors yeah a lot of smoke and mirrors a lot of yak about what you're working on yeah a lot of yak

a lot of sacks yeah friends cars I pay only in cash I work only in cash Aretha Franklin I was going to say Aretha Franklin

yeah you carry your purse on stage yeah I'm not going to trust anybodytha Franklin. You take your purse on stage. Yeah, I'm not going to trust anybody. She was on our old late night show, and the story went around immediately. She had to be paid in cash and wouldn't perform with the air conditioning on. And I think it was like August. Oh, wow.

So it was like 100 degrees in that studio. Yeah, yeah. But it was Aretha Franklin. Yeah. I'm sure they got over it. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So yeah i think but i think that's so true i mean i've had checks bounce from people where you're like oh yeah um but anyway i think people just we're like we're like goldfish where we where you grow to fill whatever space we're in so the more money you have the more

spending you do and then you still end up kind of on the margins. Right. Even when you have a lot. And still miserable all the time. Yes. Exactly. Yes. Yeah.

And there's no need. I mean, look at us. We have bottled water. Yes. And we're indoors. Yeah. For Christ's sake. And we're near the tunnel system.

Yeah. The alleged. We are above a tunnel system. So, you moved to L.A. to start your comedy career. Yes. Was part of you thinking, oh, should I move to you moved to L.A. to start your comedy career. Yes. Was part of you thinking, oh, should I move to New York or L.A.? Or was that a decision? I did.

I thought about that because I went to school on the East Coast. I went to Bates College in Maine. Oh. Where a lot of New Yorkers and Boston people came. It's Lewiston. Lewiston. New Brunswick is actually a little nicer. It's a little rough around the edges.

And I just thought, if I'm going to be poor, I'd rather be warm. Yeah. And it's worked out, you know, that it's toasty out here. And also, I do appreciate, my husband's from Philly. So I totally, now I much more appreciate the direct communication between people of like, yeah, I fucking hate you. They'll tell you when they hate you, but Angelenos don't tell you. I love that about Los Angeles, where somebody's like, you're amazing.

You're a genius. No, come on, you're fantastic. I'm trying to order coffee. Yeah. I would prefer that to, you know, go fuck yourself. Even if the go fuck yourself is authentic, I'd rather have something fake. No, I think that's a good choice to make. I know.

I'd rather be lied to also. Yeah. I kind of, I like the go fuck yourself because it was affirming what I was already thinking. Yeah, yeah. I'm from New Jersey. New Jersey, yeah, yeah. And Jesse grew up, you grew up all over the place. I'm a Californian though.

But primarily Californian, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my husband and I, I think we're attracted to each other because of that. Like I have the different passive, you know, Minnesota passive-aggressive style. Yeah. Right. So he doesn't know when you're being mean. Oh, he does.

Or he does. He probably does. I give him a little wink. But, yeah, but it's delightful when he just says, we were out to dinner with some people who showed up an hour late. Oh, my God. Yeah. But it was wonderful because I was just like, oh, it's okay. It's not a big deal.

And then he said, no, I'm really angry at you guys. It's been an hour. I'm really hungry. Oh, when they got there. Wow. Oh, when he got there. I can't believe they still showed up after that. They still showed up.

But I was so like, we had a nice time for the rest of the meal. Once the air was clear. Yeah, he was just like, oh had a nice time for the rest of the meal. Once the air was clear. Yeah, he was just like, oh, I had to say it. And then I, of course, didn't get to say anything that I felt. So you felt resentful the whole time. Now you're angry at him. You're still mad about it. And now I'm telling the story.

Yeah, exactly. I'm still telling the story. What was their excuse for being an hour late? Because that means they didn't even leave until they were already probably a half an hour late. I think they just didn't. I think they did not want to go to dinner with us. Oh, no. Yeah, I mean, why else? I think that's what happened.

That is L.A. polite. Yeah, exactly. We'll show up. But not when you said. No, it's okay. I do love Los Angeles. What were some of the clubs where you did stand-up here? I will go up anywhere.

If you follow me on Twitter, you can see me in a coffee shop if we're in the same zip code. But the improv, I've done all the clubs. Now that I'm older, I like to do shows during the day, much like Branson, Missouri. So I'll just go. There's a black box theater and a strip mall, and I'll go down and do an hour. And there are enough self-employed, artistic, slightly depressed types at 4 p.m. Mostly. Who have time to see a comedy show, and then I don't have to drive all over Hollywood.

Although I did do three shows the other night driving to different shows. Three in one night? Oh, wow. Yes. And that, I mean, that's the way you got to do it so you can practice the set over and over and over again. But in New York, it's so lovely because you could just walk. Right.

But LA, yes, it's a little bit of a valet parking game. Right. Yeah. a valet parking game. Right. So, but yeah, I still do shows that's, that's I think how it goes. I love the afternoon, the afternoon shows.

That's really, That's such a great, that's fantastic. Because part of it is, yeah, you're home for, you're home for dinner. Who wants to stay up

until 1 a.m. on a weeknight? No. Well, and the great thing about the internet, I'm sure as you all know, is that you can find your people. And so the people come to you, and there's that lack of confusion, which used to be in comedy, where people would come,

Oh, I'm coming to see comedy. What kind of comedy? Well, it's going to be comedy, so it's going to be hilarious. Is it going to be the kind of comedy I like, which is barrel-chested Polynesian men who tell caustic one-liners, not necessarily. At least you know exactly what you're coming to see and that it's a lot less heckling. Yeah.

Or at least a little. Has that made it more enjoyable to perform? Yes. Yes. Yes. For me, anyways. Maybe for others. I know I'm not a very flexible comedian, Yes. Yes. Yes. For me, anyways. Maybe for others.

I know I'm not a very flexible comedian, so I don't change my material at all. So you don't do roasts? Right. Well, and I don't change at all for different crowds. I just go, this is it. Right. We could be all going down together. I hope we can enjoy it. I'm, you know, because that, that's, that's the most painful part about comedy is that nobody's been notified who's

going to be there. Right. But your fans would know that's, you know, what, what they're, it's, you're not going to be working the crowd.

So it sounds like it's a, it's a perfect setup. Yeah. It's perfect for me. And, only talking about you. Yeah, I know.

Of course, of course. But, I know, I, and I know that sometimes, I mean, I feel ashamed of it because it's preaching to the choir or you're not being a tougher comic where you can go up in front of everybody. I went to the province of Gansu, China in a farm collective. We didn't even speak the same language, but I killed those people. It was all physical comedy.

Well, I would argue you earned it. You earned that place where you have fans who come and go, and you went through all that. Yeah. Like, oh, that has to stop after a while where you don't know who's going to be out there in the audience. It also feels like being kind to the audience. Like, I've been asked to do Vegas, and I know that Vegas, to fill the rooms, they paper the rooms, which is awesome. Right. I think people love a free show.

But the problem is, then for the show, they don't know what they've come to see. And then I end up feeling terrible that I've ruined their one vacation week a year. I mean, yeah, they can get up and leave, but that blows. That just blows if you come to, I mean, yeah. So that's one reason I don't do Vegas anymore. Very empathetic of you. But Vegas pays very well. It does pay very well if you're ever interested.

But the pain you have to go, because I know Conan went on tour, did a stamp tour and went into Vegas. And, you know, it was adoring crowds. And then it was exactly what you described, people who were comped. And they're like, yeah, we'll go to this Team Coco. Yeah, or I'm depressed. And have no idea what they're going to see. And they're kind of depressed. Maybe they've lost a little money.

They lost their house. Yeah. I mean, or they're kind of like on a, I mean, sometimes vacations are shitty. Like, you know, and so then not only can you choose to go to Vegas. You have that expectation. And then you're going to another thing that you don't like. Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah.

Oh, well, that makes me feel better. Oh, yeah, I know. Because Conan seems like such a, he's a lovable entity. Well, every comic I've ever met who worked in Vegas is, I mean, if you do well there, that's a terrifying sign. It's a mark against you. Yes. Well, but I think if you are good with people, if you're extroverted, if you're likable to a large – I am not likable, it turns out.

People are like – I'm not somebody people have a lot of confidence in when I go on stage. You're not the Joe Biden of comedy. I'm not the Joe Biden. Thank you. I could tell when you didn't hug me. Yeah. You were very very a little formal

I I just I have a question about your audiences do you have like super fans where it's almost like sure it's great to have

all your fans or people know you come see you but is there like some people come too many times where you're like what do you

what do you what do you skip a show? No, I'm still at the point, and I think I will always, my hope is keep it small business. Right, right. Small business Saturday. Streamlined, yeah. Oh, streamlined. I like that one.

Afternoon shows. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't have anybody who's super obsessed. Or if they are, I can say, hey, I talk enough about mental illness to say, hey, I don't think this is about me. Why don't have anybody who's super obsessed or if they are I can say hey I talk enough about mental illness to say hey I don't think this is about me why don't you go

text what is it is it help to 911 911 I don't know there's some sort of suicide hotline

I'm so sorry no we'll have to look that up so we can get that information out there yeah but I never know where to call yeah

texting is so much text is so much easier i texted them just to see if it worked and it totally does they're right there oh good and then you say jk jk just me just checking everything's great everything's great i'm fine just thinking of your it situation well i have you There are a couple things. There's a friend I have. A friend of a friend of a friend. But yeah, so I, and I'll meet with people off Twitter who are strangers

and we'll rehearse my hour for them because sometimes I just, I don't even want to drive somewhere. So I will say, hey, can you meet me in Pasadena area where I live? And then we'll contact and i've met probably over 50 people uh via twitter and done an hour of material for them i bought

them coffee and a fritter or whatever it is they wish and everyone's been very nice i i have it's much like internet and i had very good experiences with with internet dating. You did? Yes. Oh. I don't hear that very often. You should be studied by science. I went on like 75 internet dates. I mean, if you just meet people for coffee, everyone's pretty normal. The stakes are low. Yeah, for half an hour, everyone can keep it together.

Exactly. Exactly. And yeah, my husband, he was about my 76th internet date. And then I was his first. He'd never been online. Oh, that's what he told you. I mean, that's great. Exactly. Of course. Perhaps. Yeah, exactly. No, but I hear that a lot with where, yeah, like eligible men get snatched up so quickly on online dating that, I mean, they only get one date, and then he's snatched up.

Well, and I don't know. I mean, also, I was in a different place. I think I was more available for dating because finally I, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I think I had an epiphany of, I had had a psychiatric breakdown about 10 years ago, and I was in the psych ward, and all these people had people to visit them, and they were schizophrenic, in bipolar episodes, and they had spouses. And I was like, what am I waiting for?

Like, oh my God, I thought I had to be perfect, and these jackasses are hooking it up for 20 years or so. And they're crazy. And they're, I mean, they're as bananas as I am. So, and then when I met my husband, I was so, yeah, so nice. He, I mean, and I was dating somebody else at the time who was perfectly pleasant, also a nice person. But then I went with Scott. Turns out it's working out.

All right. That's working out alright that's great but that's a really good I mean that is a really good lesson it's yeah the people don't give a shit they just want to find somebody to love

and to be loved by and they're not so much into specifics some people might be I mean some things are a deal breaker for certain people but

for my husband mental health wasn't a deal breaker he said oh yeah my mom she was in the his his mom was bipolar. So he told me, if ever, he says that he knows, sometimes they don't let you have sharp stuff in the psych ward. So he said, hey, if you grow a beard, I'll come in and I'll shave your beard for you.

And then I fell deep in love. It was really. That, the Saturn? That is really. The Saturn, I mean, in love. It was really. That, the Saturn. That is really. Yeah, the Saturn. I mean, come on. That is.

And he was on time in LA. On time. Yeah. And lived less than two miles from me. Oh, wow. All those things. Well, now we know the real thing. Yeah, exactly.

We already knew he was punctual. Yeah. I'm mad. You guys are an hour late. I know. Is your husband in the show business no he is not he is a painter and uh but he started doing stand-up he's done it for four years now really it's been delightful because he's excited about it which helps me to get more oh yeah re-excited you're seeing it through a babe's eyes yeah and that it's that it's super fun and you know and that it's it's neat and it's a and it's and we we go to open

mics and stuff but do you have to now go to his shows oh i i love to go to open mics i love an open mic i feel like it's a public support group uh with tight sharing yeah uh where sometimes there's a dj and a smoke machine. Where there's a light. And you give your last name. Yeah, exactly. That's the different part. It's usually free, and so it's the best.

I love open mics. Have you started painting? I have done painting. I took some classes from the Wizard of Art. He's in Los Feliz. Oh, I've seen his side. Yeah, Paul. He's a lovely man in his 70s. I don't want to know who's behind the curtain. some classes from the wizard of art he's in uh los feliz oh i've seen his side yeah he's a lovely man in his 70s i don't want to know who's behind the curtain oh he's he's great he

teaches it's adults and kids but it's great because you get to learn to paint with kids and uh it's good for your self-esteem yeah there's low pressure like that you know and he's always super he's very la supportive like oh my god man, oh my God, man, that SpongeBob SquarePants, that's amazing, man. I really love the palette you're using. Have you worked out on your shadows? Okay, all right, I'm going to step back. You do you. Keep doing it.

That's so fun. It's really fun. Wait, so does your husband go to those classes with you too? No. Because you've been going to open mics, so he should have to go to those. Well, he's not as into that. What does he do for me? Oh, well, he is more a solitary person. No, no. I like where you're going. We do have a purple buzzer that runs out of batteries. Let's not play the blame game. But he's more social because I like to have people over. I like to have parties.

I like to have parties. I like to have people over. I like to have open houses. Oh, cool. So, yeah, we've had a lot of open houses. Sometimes he has to go hide and stare at a wall for a few minutes and then come back oh yeah i understand yeah so are you an extrovert is that i am not oh you said before you were shy but everything i'm hearing but then i'm a showboat i'm an occasional showboat right um and then i also like to hustle i like to cater cater. Cater waiter. So I can do that. Okay, hi, huggy hug.

Cater waiter, cater waiter. Get in a few conversations. Hide in the bathroom. Come on back. Circle it back. It seems like a great way to kind of get rid of or not get rid of, but take care of all of your social obligations all at once. Like everyone can come

over and you spend 10 minutes with each one and then that's it for the year. Yeah. That's what I would do. That's also true. Yeah, yeah. It is nice and it's nice.

I like, I want to get to know my neighbors in theory and then of course, we did live next to a frat house for 10 years

or I did in Eagle Rock near Oxendale College. Oh, wow. Oh. Oh, my goodness. Oh, no. I didn't know they had frats there. Oh, yes. Oh, Jesus.

But Obama went there. He wouldn't be part of that community. Shout out to the water polo team on Hazelwood. You guys are assholes. Wow, we tried everything. We tried everything. We watched the movie Neighbors, and they were jerks. They apparently had two. I finally went spiritual, and I'm an atheist. My sister told me, okay, burn some sage on the front lawn and create a flower mandala. So I'm doing that one morning, and they just start setting up beer pong. And I'm just like, you know what?

Nothing's more powerful than beer pong. Yeah. It's hard to tell. Were they putting their red cups into a mandala pattern oh yeah exactly no they loved um they they love to party and they're not wrong it's fun to get drunk and yell yeah I love to yell and shit in your neighbor's yard yeah so. So, who blinked first? Who moved out first? I'm going to say you. Oh, God. Yeah, we moved. We moved.

And we told the next people who moved in, we, you know, we wish you legally. Of course, you have to. But I wrote a large description of all the things we had done and that it was annoying. But people, one guy was a. Oh, do you have to legally disclose that? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that.

Wait, just that they're allowed. Oh, yes. Wait, just that they're allowed? Oh, yes. You have to tell all the lengths that you've gone to try to stop the noise. Because we went to the college, we went to the police, all the stuff, so that they know what they're getting into. Because you don't want anyone moving in where all of a sudden

they're like, say what? I could see that being a moral obligation. Right, but I didn't know you have to tell somebody that. Yeah. I thought most house sales are just. Right, right. As is, you're on your own.

I think it's a kindness thing too. Ah, okay. I think if, yeah, like I would want people to. Oh, you're a good person. Okay. That's, I was totally thrown off. You guys, okay. Oh.

Oh, I thought of her. Yeah, the interview's over. We're on the same page. No, okay. No, no. I also, yeah, it's just, you just go, but the people who bought it, I told them everything, like every single detail. And they had two kids, and they wanted to move in. So I was like, and they still live there. I mean, that's a good school district.

It is. Anyways, what are you going to, maybe they're in there with Bose headphones. Yeah, they're just in front of tablets all day. Do you have quiet neighbors now? Yes, yes, we do, we do. In Pasadena? We're actually in Altadena. Oh, I love Altadena.

I miss her. No, no, I do meet people in Pasadena, though, because I know that's more central to most people. Altadena, yeah. But you have mountains. Is Altadena all engineers from? Yes, JPL. Yes, JPL. Yes, people come up and go, what sector do you work in?

I work in 41. And then they say, I work in 651, 652. Yes, that's happening. And what else is, yeah, there's a lot of bizarre, there's a theosophical society that's up there with this weird study of religions. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I'm sure it's dark.

Do they have a water polo team? Yeah, no. Yeah, there's no colleges up there. Okay, good, good, good. Good, quiet, nice and quiet. Let's see if we have any interesting neighbors. We have had a bear and some bobcats. Oh, wow.

And what? Did they come to the party? No. The bear went in the garbage and then came out. And then we had some raccoons fall in the pool when they were fighting. And raccoons swim because we came out there to help them. They're good swimmers. They're good swimmers.

Yes. Good job, raccoons. They're basically little humans with fur. They're tiny little hands. They're so sweet. Oh, you had job, raccoons. Raccoons are basically little humans with fur. They're tiny little hands. Yeah. They're so sweet. Oh, you had some serious raccoon issues. No, it's still ongoing.

Oh, it is? They're back? I have raccoons that keep breaking into my house and getting into my attic. And every time I close up one hole, they find another way in. And then they can even rip boards off. They can rip grates off with their fingers. They're so strong. They will eat through ceiling tile.

There's a beautiful, there's a story of this family on the internet where they took in a baby raccoon, raised it, and then they put it back in the local forest. You know, saying, okay, you know. They came back from a vacation and the raccoon was just sitting on their bed with a big hole in the roof going hello you thought you could get rid of me no they're so smart and they find they have places they like to nest and so then they've just been coming back for six months i can't get rid of them they're very neat because we had one in our attic when i was a kid yeah and my mother made me go up into the attic i heard them crawl out at night. So I went up and while they were out, I went and stapled shut.

I found the hole they climbed out of and I put some chicken wire over it and stapled it shut. I went downstairs and then at midnight learned that I had locked them in. They hadn't left the house yet. Oh, my God. So they were tearing up the attic. So I had to go back up and rip the screen off

and wait till they were out. And it didn't smell good. No. Because they mark the hole, the exit, with, yeah,

they're territorial with whatever's handy that comes out of their body. Have you seen them with a top hat when they have tea parties? Yes. There are a lot of people that take them in as pets and that terrifies me.

Because, yeah, I think those raccoons are just biding their time. They're wild animals. There's somebody here who has a pet hedgehog. Oh, you have a... Kevin, really? Kevin, pet hedgehog. I didn't know that. I didn't know that about Kevin. That is so Euro. You've hidden that from us. Is that legal? Are you allowed to have one? No. He's't know that. I didn't know that about Kevin. That is so Euro. You've hidden that from us. Is that legal?

Are you allowed to have one? No. He's going to cut. He edits this. Never mind. That's right. We'll never know. We bring up his hedgehog in every episode.

It has never made it on. He outsmarts us in every turn. We'll have to start speaking in code. Have you guys ever tried stand-up? Oh, well I did stand-up for a while Oh, because we needed to stand-up In New York That's how you got the job here at the Conan Show

Yes, excellent Yeah, I got hired to do the warm-up for the Conan Show in New York Back in 1995 Yes So it was a long time ago And then I got hired as a writer And then I stopped do the warm-up for the Conan show in New York back in 1995. Yes. So it was a long time ago. And then I got hired as a writer, and then I stopped. Because back then we worked super late at night until midnight.

So I had to stop doing – I used to do it every night. I did six nights a week. No, yeah. And that's what the lifestyle is, especially New York is so wonderful for that. It is good for that. You can get some wonderful type material. I would come out and visit friends of mine who'd moved to L.A. And, you know, like they got a small part in Seinfeld or, you know, they did the Tonight Show. And I'd come, they'd been living here six months and they were super lonely.

It's lonely. It's lonely after a little bit. And they almost became agoraphobic. Like I'd have to coach them like let's go out and they're like I'm just stay home

and yeah that does happen in LA it scared me yeah it's weird I mean right

is that there is some of that that's real actually we have two comics living with us we have a comedian roommate Brian Boca shout out

I was going to say what what's a raccoon? Top hat. Top hat raccoon comedian. Carmen Morales, very funny lady. She also, in the effort to have a cooperative. Oh, that's so cool. Hippie cooperative environment. Just because it is a little bit, it's weird.

It's isolating. You don't see people. I mean, people that I love I see them once every two weeks but then they're hustling so hard that sometimes

you know it's like oh work always seems to come first yeah because the rents are high and anyways

okay but you're very supportive I love how supportive you are you've got comics living with you and you're at open mics rooting everyone on it's fantastic I love how supportive you are. You've got comics living with you and you're at open mics rooting everyone on.

It's fantastic. I love it. Listen, let's create affordable housing. You're like the dead mother of, yeah.

But do you ever at home like, like just, okay, I don't want to hear about your latest premise. Can't we just eat in silence?

Well, I'm sure they're like that with me. Like, yeah. I mean, I've, I've, I've paid both of? Well, I'm sure they're like that with me. Like, yeah. I mean, I've paid both of them to, you know how they, for Instagram, you got to, what do you call it, where you put your words on your bits now? Oh, I'm so sorry that I don't know this. Caption.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Caption your bits. I don't know how to do it. So I've hired those kids. Oh, that's great. They're 30. They're those kids. Oh, that's great. They're 30. They're not kids.

To caption. So I get a ton out of it. So it's a work exchange. Right. They're doing beautiful work. And yeah, it's also inspiring. Again, it's like, because they're at the beginning and excited and doing things that i don't know anything about like the roast culture right yeah brian is a he is a very good roaster he works at the comedy store and so does carmen and they do a lot of those and i don't know anything about that and it's hilarious it is it's

now a separate subgenre stand-up yeah like i't, also, I'm not very good at it. I love to write. So he's let me add, you know, think of roast jokes. Oh, fun. Oh, that's fun. Ghost writing roast. Because it's fun. And then no one can get mad at you because you're like, hand it off.

You see? Yeah, very smart. Did you audition them before they could live with you? Oh, God, no. And I don't, yeah. But they're both lovely people and super funny comics. So check it out, Brian Vokey with a Y. And Carmen Morales, who's now on the road.

I do not know where she's performing tonight, but go see her. That's so generous. Can you explain some of the roasts? Like, there are now many roast shows. And who do they roast? They roast other comedians. They roast sports figures. All right.

Just anybody in L.A. who's willing to show up and be taken down a notch. I think it can be anybody who will draw ticket sales. Oh, wow. Right. So I don't know very much about sports, but I know he's come back with trying to write sports jokes. Right. And he's done some ghostwriting for Comedy Central roast things. But yeah, I don't know exactly very much about it, just that they have a nice time.

And then they come home. And they all stay friends. Yeah, they stay friends. Yeah, they all stay friends. I'm too thin-skinned. I don't think I could. I was roasted once, like 15 years ago, and I totally remember everything that was said. Oh, my God.

Because it's so... No, guys, it's fine. It's fine. It's so true. Like, the guy said, Maria Bamford, she does six voices that all sound the same. I was like, yes, yes, you got me. So true. Apologies all around.

I was hoping no one would notice. Oh, you all agree with him. Okay. Great. No, but yeah, that's the point of it, I think, is just to be a good sport about your personal character. The Alec Baldwin roast was on last week and we were talking about it in the writer's room and Conan was there and he's like,

maybe there's something wrong with me. I don't ever want to be, I have no interest in being roasted. That's not my idea of a good time. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Right. You got to have a certain personality to be okay with it, which, yeah, it's not my favorite.

I've asked Brian about it. He said that, yeah, he likes, he feels like it's affectionate if somebody. Right. You know, you're an idiot. Right. I guess that's how men feel. If people know you. Yeah.

We sure fucking do. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah. Nice hedgehog. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I was raised in a way where it's like you never say anything unpleasant about someone. The Midwest. And especially not the truth.

Yeah, yeah. And you apologize for yourself most of the time. So, yes. Yeah. Yeah. And you apologize for yourself most of the time. So, yes. Interesting. Well, you mentioned that, so you do more than six voices. Seven or eight. At least seven. You're a master of voices.

You're a master of voices. A great master of voices. How many voices would you estimate you've done for animation? I think it is around seven with like high and low variance. I don't think, because I don't do celebrity impersonations. I just, I like during the same, I mean, let me see. Yeah, so I, of of course like doing my mother because she's lots of fun and despite her having stage four lung cancer i somehow still think it's okay to do a very

unattractive impersonation of her to her face she's fine she's fine the cancer's gone but it's still not okay uh can you do your mother through the ages, the way some people? Through the ages? In other words, young mother. A younger mother? Oh, well, I can do, yeah, I can do the excited woman, who's more of a, just a wonderful commercial character, who's also very maternal.

You know, like, yeah, just variations on types. Someone who demands respect and is in charge of a company and knows how things work business-wise. Someone who has pens. Someone who has pens and paper at the

ready. But no personal life. No personal life. That person, you just terrified me. I swear that's going to get fine. But yeah, I'm willing to try anything. The show that we did for Frontier Tween, that's just a girl who's kind of

she's not dumb. She's empowered. But she's also just not well educated in terms of she hasn't been to all the school years. But she's very confident. Yeah. I love

you as that character. Let's talk about that for a sec. Frontier Tween is a new scripted podcast. Yes. Team Coco is entering the scripted podcast area. Yeah, it's exciting. And is this the first one? It's the first, yeah.

Oh, my goodness. The very first scripted one. That's really cool. Maybe one of the first ever. Oh, my gosh. I know this podcast sounds scripted, but it is not. cool. Maybe one of the first ever. Oh my gosh. I know this podcast sounds scripted, but it is not.

Maybe. But it's a misnomer. Everything improvised. Yes, and? Did, when you heard about, I mean,

were you familiar with the idea of a scripted podcast or was that something that was new to you? No, I listened to the murder shows. Yeah.

Who's been murdered? How horribly did it happen? You never saw it coming because they were so loving. But then there was a tiger in the backyard. Anyways, this is the tiger one? No.

So gross. Two tiger people get in a fight and then they feed each other to their tigers. Anyways, I haven't gotten to the end. I assume that's what happens. I think you did get to the end. What's left? I have to go right now.

It's kind of a mop-up operation. There's a lot more to go. Then a raccoon enters the picture. No, I have not listened to scripted podcasts. Possibly because I worry it's something I haven't gotten work in before. You know when you can't listen to something that you think you could get a job on? I could do that. Yeah.

I can only listen to, or I can only watch things on Netflix that are Swedish crime dramas. Because I go, I couldn't. There's no way I would have gotten an audition for that. I can't be up for that. Don't do Swedish accent. They tried to call me, but forgot the country code. Yeah. Have you done a teen voice like that before?

Because it's. Well, you kind of do teen yourself. Yeah, yeah. You have a naturally. Yeah, you do like your own voice. Yes. So. I guess it's not, yeah.

It's not too far off the actual irritating childlike voice. People find it sometimes. Well, no, I actually meant that you've sort of done yourself as a child. Yes. Talking to your mom and that sort of thing. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, so I can, but yes, basically my own voice. But if I couldn't, I kept a cartoon voice.

I have a certain kind of teen who does, I do unpacking videos. A lot of times I just go shopping and I just show people what I've got. Because sometimes you get so much stuff and you put it in a bag. And then you take it out slowly. She's making $3 million a year. I know. I know. I know. Good for her.

How do you describe that new, maybe it's not that new, where I hear people talking and ending where their voice goes up? Oh, ASMR? A lot on the radio I hear it now. Yeah. Even just on like NPR. ASMR. Well, it's not vocal fry, right? But it's often's not vocal fry, right? It's not.

But it's often coupled with vocal fry. Yeah. It's sort of a lift that. It's a lift. I think women are known for doing it more because we often are unsure of whether what we're saying is correct. And so you add a little bit of a lift. But a lot of men do it too. The world is heating up. Yeah. Am I, you guys? The world is heating up. Yeah.

Am I, you guys? No offense. Climate change, okay. If only you were more convincing. Otherwise, I would have believed it. Yeah. So when you record this podcast, I always wonder, do you try to get some of the cast together or is it people off on their own? Everybody's on their own.

Wow. All the shows that I'm on now, it's everybody separate for the most part. I think because people are so busy hustling and doing a billion things. They've got yoga pants to sell or whatever it is they're doing.

Mercedes commercials. Yes. So does someone else read with you? Yes. Or if someone else recorded it, will they play that for you? No, they always just read it with you. Okay. So, yeah, sometimes you get a more flat read.

Right. It's not Winnie the Pooh talk. Right. So how is that? I mean, that must be difficult to kind of get in the scene if you're. Well, let me paint a picture. Yes. Beautiful air conditioning.

Oh. You have a cool bottle of water right next to yourself. There's a kitchen about a thousand yards away. It's filled with snacks. You go in and they say, could you do the line five times? You go, okay. And then, no, it's a delight.

It's so wonderful and it's fun, super creative, and then you get to see this beautiful thing that's perhaps been made in South Korea. Hopefully Vancouver or someplace closer. I don't know why I have a strong opinion about that.

Live better, work union, go USA. Anyways. But it's always I love voiceover. It's wonderful. Well, it does make it such probably more fun to watch the finished product because then it's such a surprise.

Yes. It's such, and animation is so gorgeous. Yeah. Now, it's just spectacular how detailed and painterly it is. Like, it's just, it's just beautiful. Right. The different styles and, yes. Do you ever remember the five takes you gave for, and then like, they chose take number three.

Oh, come on. How could they? Jake, two was the winner. I don't. I don't. Yeah, I'm on this. That's a healthy sign. Yeah.

But, yeah, that's, as I get older, now I'm just, I just trying to spend more time trying to. Not giving a shit? Right. Friendships. Oh. Family. I keep hearing that. More open houses.

That's a thing. Daily open houses. Daily open houses. I did. We just moved out to Dina, so we're trying to get a a bench because you got to get a bench because then people sit down oh yeah and then it's like a

people bird feeder they come sit down and chit chat with you oh nice make that happen I do chairs are good too you should have chairs

yeah meet a friend we got a few chairs but they're a little too far away from the sidewalk so we got to got to get a bench going a little closer

sure oh or one of those little free libraries we already have oh you already have one my husband made it oh I love those and we had a bench

on our last house and a guy moved in so there's a man living on the bench oh and he was actually quite lovely yeah

and he'd move out during the day so that other people could sit down but his name was The Wolf and he would sleep on the bench at night. Anyways, things aren't good here in Los Angeles.

I don't know if you've been, but we are living in the Old Testament. Were the neighbors cool at the bench? Yes, they were. Those are good neighbors. The water polo players. Yeah. Well, I mean, the water polo, they did not have a, yeah, they were like, they were a little too, I mean, I hope they're doing, their team is doing well. They're going to make it to regionals this year.

Yeah. I wish them the best. No hard feelings. It's really cool that, I mean, it seems like such a natural fit for you to do animation and to do the scripted podcast. Yes. Oh, it's wonderful. Yes. That's so, and it's cool. I mean, you're obviously also still doing stand-up a lot and specials, and you had your Netflix show, Lady Dynamite.

Yes. So there's a lot. You have a lot going on. Yeah, yeah. specials and you had your Netflix show Lady Dynamite. So there's a lot. You have a lot going on. But is there something that you're still like, is there something creatively that you'd still like to get into or that you haven't gotten to do? Well, I

just shot a special which is going to be called Weakness is the Brand. Oh, wow. Oh, so this is your new hour of material. This is my new hour of material. I'm very excited. But as far as things that I'm working on, an audio book for Audible. And so that's kind of fun to write a book, but then it's for performance. Oh, that's great.

Which is my favorite thing anyways. Oh, so you're writing it too? Writing to perform it. Oh, wonderful. Oh, wow. So it's not, yeah, because I'm not interested as much in writing a book. I love to write to perform. So I need laughs, it turns out.

So, yes, I'm excited about that. Could you do the audio book for an audience and it would just be eight hours long? It's two and a half hours long. So I have tried to do it for my husband. He pooped out a little. That's a big ask. Yeah, it really is. So, but that's, yeah, it's a book.

It's a how-to book on a simple 15-step way how to force yourself to write and perform a full hour of stand-up comedy. You know, doesn't everybody want to do that? For sure. Yeah. So, and, yeah. That sounds extremely useful. It's, oh, God.

I mean, a lot of people, yeah. It's going to be such a bestseller. It's just, you know, that niche is so huge. But that's, yeah, that's what I'm writing It is actually probably most of our listeners Really? Okay, perfect All right Oh my gosh

Well, then look for it It'll be out, I think, in the new year So, excellent It's ambitious, too One hour I know Just go right to a one hour show Yeah, you go from zero to one hour

No, because I mean, why wait for it? It's true. I mean, people work forever and it's like three minutes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Poop it out! Or is step 12, do your material for 10 to 15 years and get better? Well, that's a great step. Wait a minute.

Maybe it's going to be a 16 step. That's fantastic. One of the first steps is to call whatever you're doing stand-up comedy. Okay. Oh, yeah. That's great. That is my favorite. So as not to confuse people.

Well, people get so mad. Stand-up. That's not stand-up. That's not stand-up. I always loved that comedians would love to trash anything that wasn't what they were doing was questionable. Yeah, there's a lot of, I mean, that's, I think, part of the internet culture is you get together and you have a strong opinion about different art forms. That's what it is, yeah. In some corners of the internet.

Yeah, in some corners. It's just like, well, how does this affect you at all? Exactly. What's it have to do with you? It's always kind of like, what do you worry about yourself? How you're doing? Yeah, just watch something else. Guess what?

There's lots to watch. Let's not like stand up as like a, I don't know. It's not like you're carrying on a story tradition from 3,000 years of human existence. It's like, this is a few decades. A few decades. Yeah, well, and yeah, it's just so super silly. Super, super, super, super silly. I don't know if it happens as much now, but yeah, like 25 years ago, it used to be like comic battles.

Like Sam Kinison is mad at Dice Clay. And they'd go on Howard Stern and talk about it. And I'd just be like, ugh. Oh, no, there's still that going on. I get to hear about it from the young people. Oh, yeah. Guess what? Who the feuds are.

So-and-so said that so-and-so isn't doing the thing in the so-and-so game. And I mean, okay, they've got two podcasts and an energy drink. Yeah, what do people get criticized for now? It's like... Yeah, I think it's just... Selling out. Yeah. Selling out to Quibi. I think any sort of thing you can be uh criticized and i love i love the internet for

that where you can learn things like i i've been called out like i wrote a an essay on a topic i know nothing about in an you know about an experience i have nothing yeah no personal experience i didn't experience satirical essay yeah Yeah. What? And people, kind people told me, hey, it's transphobic what you wrote. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, I'm sorry. Apologies all around. Thank you for introducing me to some books on gender identity and sexuality. I'll take that down.

Then I had to get the publisher to take it down because they still thought it was funny. Oh, yeah. Then I got the electric experience of getting to teach someone a lesson I just learned. You should be ashamed of yourselves. It was fresh in your mind. That is satisfying. But, you know, I think it is good. I'm a dinosaurball or being, you

know, alienating people that I respect. Well, we're all learning all the time. Yeah. No. Well, some of us. Some of us are fully evolved. I restarted step one every time. Yeah.

Well, Maria, this has been so wonderful. This is delightful. Thank you so much for having me on the program. Before we go, maybe you could just give one piece of advice for someone who might want to do what you're doing. Okay. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Whatever it is you think it is you might want to do, do it.

Okay. And, you know, do it. Okay. So, when I, and let me, let me sound that out. Okay. B-O space and then it, I-T, do it. And I know that's the hardest part. I don't want to do it either.

High fives all around. I do not want to do it. So I'm right there with you. If you see me, know that I don't want to do it. So I'm right there with you. If you see me, know that I don't want to do it. And if you've done it, if you went ahead and did it, then we can shake hands and give each other shoulder

based hugs. Well, I think we don't ever have to do that advice segment again. That pretty much covers it. Pick something you don't want to do and do that thing. Do it. Maria, thank you so much. No problem.

It was a pleasure. Tons of fun. Thank you very much. Bye. That was delightful. We never found out if you did stand-up comedy. Oh. I wanted to find out.

Yes, I glossed over that intentionally. Yeah, okay. No, I did stand-up for about a year. Oh. Yeah, but I mean, I glossed over that intentionally. Yeah, okay. No, I did stand-up for about a year. Oh. Yeah, but I mean, I never got, like, I was on some booked shows, and I did open mics. And then, I mean, I never got past the point of feeling terrified. Right, right, right, right. I did a few of those bringer shows at the comedy store.

Oh, that's so hard. And it was so awful, I'd bring like four people and then based on how many people you bring, they put you at the back of the pack. And so the people who brought the most people get the best spots. And I would be like three hours into the show. It was really painful.

Sorry. And everyone leaves after their person performs too. So then you're performing for like. Well, that I kind of like when everyone clears. Clears out. Yeah, it's less pressure. Anyway, I'm sorry. No, no, no.

I mean, you just made me relive a really painful memory, but that's fine. Speaking of stand-up. Yes. We actually have an exciting announcement. We do. The Team Cocoa House is happening October 3rd through 5th. Yeah. This year, the year of our Lord, 2019.

Maybe explain what Team Coco house is. Oh, yeah. Well, basically, Team Coco takes over 10 comedy clubs across the country on this one weekend with a ton of stand-up comics. Great comics.

Great comics that have all been vetted by the Team Coco team. Yeah. They've got physicals. Yes. The whole night. No bone spurs among these comics. No.

It's people like Dion Cole, Bill Burr, Tig Notaro, Pete Holmes, Laurie Kilmartin, and more. Many, many, many more. Many great comics. Yeah. more. Many, many, many more. Many great comics. Yeah, so you just have to go to teamcoco.com slash house for lineups and tickets to find all the shows in your city. Yes, and if it's not in your city, get on an airplane.

Yeah. Or get in a car and travel. Yeah, and you won't have to see either Sweeney or I perform. Yeah, yeah. We promise that. Oh, that's always my promise. You will not see me out in public. I'm a recluse. You're welcome.

And we'll see you next week. Thank you. We like you. Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast, is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jesse Gaskell. Produced by Kevin Bartelt. Engineered by Will Becton. Produced by Kevin Bartelt. Engineered by Will Beckton. Mixed by Ryan Connor.

Supervising producer is Aaron Blair. Associate producer Jen Samples. Executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross. Jeff Ross. Jeff Ross and Team Coco. And Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf. Thanks to

Jimmy Vivino for our theme music and interstitials. You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. And of course, please subscribe and tell a friend to listen to Inside Conan on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or whatever platform you like best. Ta-da! This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.