Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Nikki Glaser Revisits Her Conan Obsession

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

Nikki Glaser joins writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to discuss her high school obsession with Late Night, fact-checking comments in the Conan subreddit, how Brian Stack helped her give the ultimate birthday present, and why her dad cried backstage at CONAN.Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail]

And now it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Still important. Still a podcast. Yeah. Sometimes about Hollywood. The outer edges of show business. Yes, Hollywood adjacent. East Hollywood.

Very, very east. The less prestigious part of Hollywood. I'm Jessie Gaskell. That's Mike Sweeney. Hello. Hi. And we're excited to be back with you. We have a great show today.

We do. A wonderful guest. So we have champagne on ice. Do you. We have a great show today. We do. A wonderful guest. So we have champagne on ice. Do you have the house to yourself right now? Is your wife traveling? My wife was on a book tour. Yeah. She wrote a book, her second novel.

Her second book. Yeah, and it came out in paperback. She went on a little paperback tour. And she went to eight cities. She's two for two of getting books published. She is two for two, yes. published. She is two for two. Yes. She went back to school when the kids were older

and wrote a novel and it was a best-selling novel. And it blew up. And now it's going to be a TV show, right? It's in development, as they say. Excuse me, yes. You know. I don't want to jinx anything. No.

And she's very, you know, clear-eyed about that because she kind of knows the rate of success for things that are sold to be made into a TV show or a movie. You know, so she's like, well, if it happens, that's fantastic. Well, that's healthy. And if it doesn't, it's not a big deal because her main passion is writing books. That's nice since it's her career big deal because her main passion is, is writing books. That's nice. Since it's her career. Exactly. Although,

you know, I've been talking to a lot of other writers in the WGA, the Writers Guild, and it seems like now the trend for people that are buying TV shows is that it has to be based in an existing IP or intellectual property. So networks aren't buying anything unless it's rooted in some sort of existing work. And so people are even starting to like reverse engineer that where they think, I've got this great idea for a pilot, but they're not going to buy it as a pilot. So I have to write a novel about this story and try to get it published. Wait, you're kidding. I'm not

kidding at all. Oh, wow. This is a conversation that I heard recently, which sounds like so much work. My God. I know you're speechless. I'm speechless. Well, we have to start giving advice, tell everyone to start writing novels and that's the way to show business. Stop listening to this podcast. Can we write a short story? No. It needs to be a multi-generational.

170 pages. Yeah, what is the length that makes something a novel versus a short story? Oh, well, there's a novella, right? Yeah. I mean, I always feel like novellas are like 120 pages or less kind of okay i think if you can get up to close to 200 pages you've okay then they just go it's a short novel i wrote a book when i was in fourth grade yeah it was 12 pages okay what is what is that, it also correlates to how old you are. So if you're

in fourth grade, 12 pages is, is like writing the Odyssey. Yeah, absolutely. Epic. That was an epic piece of work. It felt that way. It was four chapters. Yeah. Each three pages. And was it based on, was it all make them ups or it was based on the the girl that uh was bullying me at school oh get out and it was sort of like a fan fiction that bad things started happening to her oh that's fantastic oh that fits you perfectly like i bet you were still like oh i'm getting my revenge right but to her face you're just like you didn't hit me on this side of my face yeah meanwhile back to my poison pen oh yes i still have the manuscript and once it was done obviously you wanted her to know about it and read about it did that ever come about i did i just i shoved it

away and then i never i never owned up it. I never got the best of her. Okay. She's probably a high-powered CEO now. Right, right. So you lost track with her. I did, yeah. I should look her up though. No, don't look her up.

I don't know if I have her last name. She was also going out with my crush too. So it was like- In fourth grade? Yes. Wow, you went to a fast school. And she was like... I mean, what did you really miss out on in fourth grade?

It's not like... Yeah. No, I know. They were holding hands. Damn, I could have gone bowling with him. I think maybe they kissed on the lips one time at a party. Okay. I picture them kissing and then like the camera rack zooms past them

to see you in the corner. To me, scribbling furiously. And just exactly, hmm, a new direction for this chapter. Seems it's gonna be

a murder-suicide. If your parents had read this novel about your bully, would they have been concerned about you? In other words, did physical harm come to your bully?

Was she, did she die in the end? I don't, I didn't finish it. So I was still in the process of, I wasn't gonna let her get off that easy. I was still torturing her in the novel. Of course, of course. Four chapters of torture. I love that you wrote a novel. And I think you told me, or you have a story to tell about getting something published when you were

a kid. Yeah. Oh, so I was always a writer and I loved to write when I was a kid, but I also would write because my mom forced me to enter essay contests. Yeah. Fairly often. Oh. Yeah. Do you feel like she forced you? I mean...

Or was she responding to the fact you're writing all the time and why not? That was probably it. Okay. She was probably trying to nurture a talent. But did you feel she's a little... Well... Not a stage... What's a little, well, not a stage. What's a stage mom for an essay writer,

a desk mom, an agent, pen and ink. Well, mom. Yeah. Well, so my mom would often find these essay contests and encourage me to enter

them. I never, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, like in the newspaper and stuff. Right. Right. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, like in the newspaper and stuff. Right, right.

I don't know why. Parade magazine. There used to be, yes, there used to be essay contests. It would be like, you can win, you know, a $100 savings bond or something. Right.

I do have a $100 savings bond that I think is now maybe worth $100. It's matured. Yes, exactly. Oh, no, you entered this two years ago. I'd love it if she still made you do them. How do you think I got the Conan job? Right, right. So she had found this essay contest right when we had moved to the central coast of California. And it was why I want to conduct the San Luis Obispo Symphony.

And I don't think I ever had wanted to conduct the San Luis Obispo Symphony. That was the prompt. That was the prompt. But it was an opportunity, I guess, to flex my bullshit muscles. And so I wrote an essay. Honestly, now that I think back on it, I was probably the only person who entered. Because I cannot imagine anyone else entering this. Everyone else was like, pass.

Yeah. How old were you? I was in sixth grade. Oh, man. Perfect age for that one. And I had just moved there. Oh, my God. From Latin America. What a way to gain instant popularity.

Yeah. Right in essay contest. So, cut to, we know now that I won this. Yes. That's where you won this $100. No, that was a different essay contest. Oh my God. How many? But the prize for this essay contest was that I actually got to conduct the San Luis Obispo Symphony.

Really? Or the orchestra. That was, did you know that going in or was that like a surprise? Yes. That was the prize, which was why it was so, I don't know why I entered. I think I didn't think I would win. And then I did. And then I was like, oh, now I have to go do this thing. Right.

And my teachers, my sixth grade teachers took the whole sixth grade to watch me do it. And you were a new student? And I was a new student and I wore kind of weird clothes and I didn't shave my legs. And I was mortified that everybody was coming and nobody, and it wasn't like I had friends. It wasn't like any people were cheering for me. Right. You were the new kid. And I was like in a different math because I was an advanced math. Yeah.

And then I had to, now I'm conducting the symphony. Oh my God. Yeah. No wonder you had bullies. Ooh, you know what? Our producer just gave me a really good idea that we should have a children's essay contest to host inside Conan. Oh, that's a great idea.

That's a great idea. And what a relief for us. What a relief. They can show us how it's done but they have to have just moved to town and not know they can't know anyone in their school yes they have to be a certified dork yeah with no friends should it be one it should be and it'll be two children get a replacement yeah exactly yes i think we do that for the rest of the season. That would be great. So these are kids, it's homework, and it's due tomorrow. You got to get us off the hook.

Let's jump on it. Okay. So have, if you're listeners, if you have children of essay writing age. This would be great. I think so too. I'm very excited. Hey, you said we have a great show today. I did.

I said that earlier this afternoon when we started this and let's get right to it. Delighted to speak with this guest. She's a giant, giant Conan fan. Yeah. Maybe the biggest ever. She is a giant Conan fan. She is. She's even in the Conan Reddit thread, which I found to be a shocking admission. And she'll, I mean, we'll let her tell this tale, but she gives credit to her, all the inspiration for a career to, uh, Conan.

Yeah, she does. And it's a really good career. So he should feel pretty good about that. It's Nikki Glaser. Yay. Nikki was one of our favorite guests on the TBS show. And,

uh, we talked all about her love for Conan. It started early in high school and how she prepped for her couch appearances and we talked all about her love for Conan. It started early in high school and how she prepped for her couch appearances and some of her all-time favorite late night bits. So here's Nikki. I hear Conan and I say yes. Exactly.

The Conan fans who I'm guessing listen to this podcast probably already know me as as one of you I'm active in the Conan subreddit yeah what's your oh are you really Conan being awesome subreddit that's another subreddit is there's the Conan and there's Conan being awesome um I'm not active in both and you are not going to tell us your handle well I have a secret one that I post on as anonymously and then I also have Nikki Glaser which I will switch over to when I'm like, people need to know this is me. But when I do my other nefarious things, that's on the other handle.

But yeah. So you're a troll on the Conan is awesome. Yes. I get in there. I, you know, I think I talked about it on Conan needs a friend, but like I will correct, you know,

jokes or because I'm very, there are certain jokes I remember so well that the wording needs to be correct because I know the thought that went into the wording, you know, and that's always been a thing of the writers on the show. And also Conan himself are just, you guys are really good with words and you choose them wisely and it's just meticulous joke writing. So I, so you're like a well well actually queen in the land of well actually i am that but i do it with love because i know other not because i'm like they would want me to stand up for them but because i'm like no no no actually it was better than we even think

and you know like there's just certain things like that but generally i'm just watching old clips that come up and just celebrating. Oh, that's great. The show that really has brought me so much joy and throughout my whole life at this point, I feel like the life that matters. Well, what kind of clips do you watch in there? Like, are people finding old stuff? You know, there's old stuff on there for sure. And a lot of interviews and a lot of... I'm trying to think of the one, there was one recently,

you know, honestly, I'm someone who like kind of likes to go back and just relive the things that I already remember, you know, in the moments that I'm not as much as like wanting to find new things as I'm like, I just want to have that nostalgia moment,

be a teenager again. Yeah. And there's certain things that I'm waiting to reappear. Like I've mentioned it before but like the one of the most formative bits for me ever was um the alienated pigeon channel which was on you know the satellite right that to me was the funniest thing i'd ever and babies rum and it was on a conan five-year anniversary special that was on primetime and my dad recorded it on vhs and i did not know

who conan was at the time that was probably 98 i was in eighth grade i wasn't really aware of late night and my dad i remember said girls you like have to check this is the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life and so he recorded that and man we became just obsessed with that tape i have it memorized you know the whole thing and sometimes i go back and watch it, but I remember that doesn't exist. I can't find the alien pigeon channel, but they did a compilation of all the best satellite channels that they used to go through. And it was babies reminiscing and it was like little babies going through photo albums in front of fireplaces and like sitting on a park bench, I think, right. And just, yeah, just staring wistfully into like some blowing leaves

and then another thing like that's kind of the same joke essentially alienated pigeon like putting these pigeons in situations where they look one was in the back of a limo staring at a group of pigeons that wanting to be a part of these pigeons that were like pecking at some seed and they lower the window and then it like slowly goes up and the pigeons like trying to keep looking up and then it goes all the way up and i actually talked to brian stack about that yeah that specific bit and he said to me i remember trying to get that pigeon to like look out the window and like i was so happy when we got that shot it was just so amazing to hear that side of it. So you were already doing inside Conan podcast before it was a podcast.

I mean, I have something actually amazing to share. I'm going to go get my car washed and I'll be back. Well, I mean, there's so much I haven't uncovered because I, once I got into Conan in eighth grade, I was watching it every night I could,

but you know, I wasn't like recording it. Couldn't really go back and watch things, but I would say that, and it was every night I could watch it. I would say though, in college, it was every single night, no matter what, you know, if I missed it, I felt like I was missing out on putting something in my brain that was going to make me be a better comedian, which by the time I got in college was when I started wanting to be a standup by freshmen. I wanted to be a when I started wanting to be a stand-up by freshman. I wanted to be a comedy writer before that for like a month. Before that, I wanted to be an actress.

And then I realized I was bad at that. And then like really bad. And I, you know, I always wanted to be famous as a child. Ever since I saw Jennifer Aniston in Friends, I was like, that's what I want to do. And I had my life already set. I was like, by 25, I'm going to have my- I just want an apartment. Yes. and I had my life already set. I was like, by 25, I'm going to have my- I just want an apartment.

Yes. I wanted, I mean, I wanted to have a, will they, won't they romance with a guy who didn't deserve me? I just always wanted, I just thought I was going to be on that track. I thought that, you know, by high school I was going to be doing commercials. 25, I knew she was 25 when she got friends.

I would have a hit TV show, but then I got to high school, didn't get cast in any of the plays. I conquered my fear of stage fright in seventh grade, which was crippling for me. I used to shake so much that I would have to give presentations like during recess. My dad would have to call and ask the teacher. But you knew in seventh grade, this is something I want to conquer just because I'm going to be famous. Yes. It was such a bummer. Because it's the only way to be famous. Yes. It was such a bummer. It's the only way to be famous. Yeah. It was like,

because sixth grade was when my anxiety started of talking in front of the class. I would shake so much that I would make all of my presentations glow in the dark so that the, that I would shut off the lights. Oh my God. And they wouldn't see me shake. And my teachers,

it always worked into one teacher told, was like, how about you get the speech with the lights on? And then we turn off the lights to see your diorama. Why are we talking about Alexander Hamilton in the dark? I don't know why the JFK assassination needs to be with a black light, but it's just, you get the splatter in a different way. So I remember Mrs. Tucky kind of foiling my plan then. And that's when I switched to giving presentations at recess because I just, you know, social anxiety, this was 96. It wasn't like a thing kids suffered with and you could kind of get a free pass on.

And I remember it reached a point where I really wanted to be on stage and be a performer. And I couldn't understand like how people could do that. And I just knew it was this fear I needed to conquer. And that's so interesting. Yeah. That you simultaneously simultaneously were like this is the thing that i hate the most but also right is what i will need to be successful yeah it really doesn't make sense and i can't honestly think of any analogy for it like it's like wanting to be a pilot if you're scared of yeah flying but why would you want to be a pilot if you were scared of like like that's the thing i think it's like i wanted really i wanted love that's it like i wanted that's what it all comes down to i mean i feel like for people who want to be on tv want to be famous which was

the goal like i'm not gonna lie i wanted to be famous i wanted someday to be in a restaurant and have people be like oh my god that's like nik Glaser. I wanted to hear my name in whispers and anything. I don't care about it anymore because now I actually like myself enough. There was such low self-esteem that I just needed strangers to like me. That was just the goal. And that's what I thought, you know, if I was on Friends, something like Friends, then everyone would like me no matter what. And it wouldn't, that was just love to me. Not, I came from a very loving family i don't know you know my dad exposed me to conan he was looking out for me i love your dad he's the best he's pretty awesome he really is he exposed me to like all the coolest things i'm into

like wilco and conan and the beatles and like everything that i like that's cool is my is on account of my dad but well can i ask so nikki so you said you started doing stand-up in like when you were 18 basically in college so was that i just can't believe that that you went from like i'm shaking in front of people auditioning to i'm gonna do stand-up when i got to um high school i found another friend my another friend best friend taylor was also obsessed with conan and it became like you know i wasn't really into boys, sports, couldn't get in plays. You know, you're searching for an identity, especially as like a white person. You have no culture. You're just like, you just want anything to make you interesting. So I was into Dave Matthews and Conan, and that was who I was known

as. And that's the girl I was in high school. And so that was when it started. And then for standup, I just got to, I auditioned for all of these theater schools, didn't get in any of them. And it was really embarrassing. I went to school, University of Colorado, just being like, okay, I guess I'll just be an English major because I had AP credit. And I was like, I'm fluent. I'll go into that. And I also, I mean, it's part of my story, but I had a raging fucking eating disorder and I was on, I was literally on death's door. I looked, I looked like I could have been in the diary of Anne Frank, you know, sequel. Um, like when I was walking around campus, it was bad. And I had no friends really because everyone, I looked like I was a skeleton and, and it was clear, like this girl needs to be in a hospital.

And I, I didn't know what I was going to do because my dream of being an actress i knew i was not good enough and i didn't care enough about it and then i had a joke for one of my first jokes was because i had to address the fact that i was thin uh was you know you lose enough weight to be thin and then your rib cage starts showing through and it's horizontal stripes and it's like so fat and um but it was like it was about wanting to be okay so i'm not talented enough well what if i got as what if i got thinner than jennifer annis i mean at the time she was a very thin person yeah so that was part of the motivation and then it just became about like i just want to die honestly i was so obsessed with becoming famous and feeling like i just was special and had a talent that my dream

of being on TV someday wasn't going to happen. So I was just like too scared to kill myself in any other way that I was like, I'll just like do it this way. It was, it was pretty much a suicide attempt over a very long period of time. And then, but when I got to school my freshman year, I was just a corpse walking around campus, just praying every night that I would just die in my sleep because it was just it's hell being hungry all the time. And you literally can't eat. It's just the weirdest thing. And it's literally a disease takes over your mind.

And I think because I was so thin and no one wanted to be friends with me, I had to develop a personality so big that you wouldn't. It's like, you know, the class con is usually someone who's like the fat kid or whatever because they're don't look here look over all yeah I suddenly developed a sense of humor I mean my friends were always the funniest I was always surrounded by hilarious people I was never the funny one but I had to be just to make friends and then I started hearing you should be a stand-up comedian yeah and it never occurred to me and then I googled it I saw Sarah Silverman I saw her on Conan actually I have it memorized that whole appearance that she did when she was like probably 19 yeah you know oh my god just

like with her converse like sitting like this like in the chair with her it up on the thing I'm so excited to be here you know I just used the the men's room that's perfect because the women's room is out of service and uh I don't recommend it I got water all down my back like jokes like that some jokes I didn't even understand

but I just saw her and I go okay that's it and also she's talking to Conan my like this is a type of thing that might even get Conan's attention if I'm good at it. Yeah. And so that's when. You can wear comfortable shoes.

Yeah, you can be a comedy writer and also. I think that was the problem I had with acting was it was not being myself. And I was already so not wanting to be myself that it felt like almost giving into that. Like it felt I don't like acting because I want to or doing characters I'm very uncomfortable with it because maybe because I already felt like being myself was a character so why am I doing this other thing and I just wanted to rebel and be yeah and so I I just did it I just you know at that point I was so on death's door you just I had no fear and so I just started it. I just, you know, at that point, I was so on death's door. You just, I had no fear. And so I just started writing jokes as soon, this girl, it seems like it's out of like

my little like lifetime movie. But I remember my, this one girl that was in my dorm that constantly was like, you need to be a standup comedian. She ran in my room one day with a slip of paper that was like, you know, it's a comedy showcase. And she just like slammed it on my desk and was like, you're this and i remember being like okay well i guess no one else is because you stole the fucking flyer to like for everyone to sign up and i and it was like okay i'll do it i'll do it fine and i signed up and i did it one time and thank god i had friends there who laughed

a lot and it was the best feeling in the world and yeah that was when i was like i called my dad when i got off stage i was like oh this is what I want to do forever. And also, um, I got to figure out a way to start eating because I can't do this. If I don't gain, if I don't figure out this disease, I have,

you were like, I don't want to die anymore. Actually, honestly, it was that. And it's kind of sad to admit that it has to, my impetus for like living is fame or like this way craving being good at something, having, finding a talent, but it isn't anymore,

but that's what got me out of that for sure. Yeah, I mean, finding what you really wanted to do, probably just- Yeah, that's fulfilling. I still talk like this because in the beginning I was ripping off Sarah Silverman. Right. And this, I knew that that was the thing she did

that made me feel funnier. Using your hands a lot. That's the way I talk now because, you know, ripping off Sarah Silverman. Right. And this, I knew that that was the thing she did that made me feel funnier. And now it's just me. That's the way I talk now because, you know, it's like, you know, you sound like musicians are always like an amalgamation of their favorite musicians.

So everything is derivative of something. It's not at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember just talking about like influences? And I know you're watching Conan besides Sarah Silverman, were there other things that you felt like you were kind of absorbing as a budding comic from late night for some reason those satellite channels really got me because it was just so weird and it was just like you could just

tell people were just in a room saying the dumbest thing they could think of and they were like let's do it stock and block in inappropriate and then like and then like the froze and then and just kind of gross humor too i mean masturbating bear like as a young person it was an intellectual way to take on really immature stuff that's what i felt like it was like both can be true where i knew this was smart jokes. Yeah. I knew it was smart. For some reason I, I clocked, this was different. This was written by adults who were smarter than me,

but it was also honoring the stuff that I loved. And I think I always go back to like, I think people say women aren't funny because I was, I think that part of it is because when we're little girls, like making fart and poop jokes, that's kind of like your arsenal. That's like your toolbox for comedy when you're young right when you're six is poop and farts and goo and when you're a little boy that's all like okay well that's silly boys will be boys but a girl you do a poop joke and people are like that's just you

don't talk like that yeah and it's more about. So you don't get to develop a sense of humor because it's not, it's shameful as opposed to silly and, you know, oh boys. Yeah, that's interesting. And I felt like for the first time with Conan, you know, this is the first time I'm realizing this. Yeah. The thing that I was told I needed to be,

I could still be while also being gross. But the thing that I wanted to share with you guys that is like such an inside Conan thing that I think you'll love that. I don't think I've told anyone on your side of things, but I think you're going to love that. I hate to like, you know, sell it too hard. Okay. So I have been with, I'm currently dating a guy that I dated for like eight years ago for like, you know, we were together for like three years, like kind of my first like serious boyfriend. And we, we broke up for five years

and then we created my show, not safe together. We met, he's a TV producer. And yeah, part of the reason I got along with him so well was he just, he loves the same type of comedy as me. And so we, we both really loved Conan and talking about our favorite bits and they always aligned. And I was just felt like, oh, what a special connection. So we got, we were kind of getting back together this past summer

and it was his 40th birthday on September 5th and it was in this weird stage of like, are we, aren't we? Like, should I even get him something crazy good or like, I don't know. But I wanted to do something special

because I do care about him, but we were still like, what are we? I'm not his girlfriend. Yeah. And his family was going away to, um, like they were up in a cabin and like in upstate New York and I couldn't make it for it, but I was going to send in something that he could like screen for them. Really. I just did it for him, but he ended up screening it for his whole family. So in the early stages of us kind of getting back together, we're in bed, like, you know, just on our phones sharing funny clips.

And we started going down a wormhole of Artie Kendall, the ghost crooner bit. By Brian Stack. By Brian Stack, yes. And we just would watch compilations of it. We're constantly quoting it. We're constantly singing it. We're just like, this is the funniest thing we've ever seen. Sending it to people, trying to get people on board with like, we need to just like get this the funniest thing we've ever seen sending it to people trying

to get people on board with like we need to just like get this out in the zeitgeist again and i got the idea what if because i've talked to brian stack like on dms on twitter just over the he's such he's like the nicest man alive he's so nice yes people say that about people all the time. Yeah. But disturbingly nice. It's upsetting. It's upsetting. So I wrote to him and I said, and he's always kind of been tickled by my love of particular bits of his. And I didn't even know they were his bits, but he's written me. I'm like, I can't believe you remember Alienated Pigeon. And he told me, you know, that whole thing.

So I wrote to him and I go, I have this idea. Would you play the Artie Kendall character again over zoom and if I wrote you a song to sing as the character and it was good if you thought it was funny enough would you do like a birthday song for my you know the pseudo boyfriend who is a huge fan of yours yeah and I know you're busy on basically a cameo and I said I'll pay you and he was like please do not pay me and i was like please let me he's like no no no he's trying he goes i absolutely will do it i trust whatever you write and i was like oh well this is gonna be finally i'm writing for like a conan bit it's like

my dream i like so i wrote this song and i wrote an interaction for him and i to kind of go through it where i start the video where i'm like hi ch, Chris, happy birthday. I'm sorry. Can't be there. And then I hear like, you know, and I go, what is that? Yes. And then he comes in and I had it all edited and I had him sing this song and it's filled with, you know, horribly racist, antiquated stereotypes, just like the, like the original, it would always go in the, we should explain what the bit was. Yeah. Oh, please.

Yeah. He was a ghost of a crooner from the thirties who used to sing in Rockefeller center in the studio where we did the show. And he's kind of like a Bing Crosby guy. Like, Oh, no one wants to hear my little ditties. And then he'd sing.

And it, you know, it was the most, it was stuff from the thirties. So it was sexist, racist. Yes. True to period. Women shouldn't be allowed to think.

They should just be mindless zombies dressed in pink. With a ribbon in their hair and a catatonic stare and some strong perfume in case they start to stink. Stingity stew. And then Conan would go stingity stew. And so I wrote this whole thing and then Brian did it and then I had my friend recreate the jingle who plays piano and like do the whole thing and we put it all together and so my my my boyfriend's family's like very like not they're his mom has never seen my act like they're not allowed to. Yeah, they're not allowed to watch anything I do because they're just like very Catholic. And so I had to kind of write it

to fit in with that. But they screened it and I was watching my boyfriend's face because he has no idea. I even know Brian Stack like this whole thing was like, how could this guy that did this in the 90s? This was not even a possibility. So it was one of the best, it was the best gift I will ever give. And I'm watching his face as he watches it with like 10 people in the room with his family. And he's watching me be like, hi, like,

I'm sorry I missed your birthday and wish I could be there. I just love you so much. And like all of a sudden, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he goes,

no, and he's like, blah, blah, blah. And then his ghost slowly comes into frame. He goes, no,

no. And his face, I, I record his fate it was just the best reaction and he he was like i can't i can't handle this right now and i he he um call me back later and he goes it's the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life he was like crying and it's it was it was the moment where he was like it was the most loving gift that i've ever received that just hit every note you wrote it specifically

for me it was yeah i'm trying let me see if i have the lyrics can i want to i want to read you maybe one of the things i wrote because that could be fun yes please that's when you broke up with him okay let me just see if i have the okay so it would always start with like he's like oh you know i wrote a little ditty here's a little ditty i wrote in 1929 lots of people lost a lot of money back then and i wrote this little tune to cheer them up and i said okay great let's hear it oh the market crashed and now the poor live in the street they're desperate for things like shelter food and heat they can't afford a log so they burn the family dog and gnaw his bones in case there's still some meat.

Scorchety pop. And then it's slowly and I go, my God, that's terrible. He's like, too nostalgic, eh? Well, what about a sweet little song I used to sing for the ladies? And I go, a song for the ladies? Okay, that sounds nice. I just hope it's not like the last one. He goes, no, don't worry.

It's a charming little ditty. Oh, women should be stripped of every right and chained up in the basement every night they should do as white men say just clean and cook all day and be put to death if they learn to read or write bookity gal and then it goes on to let me just read the i'm just proud of myself for writing this i hope this is not boarding to you that i'm reading a fucking comedy script that you guys are like, yeah, we've written a million of these, Nikki. Do you want a fucking blue ribbon? I was like, well, that was the worst song I've ever heard. And I heard Uncle Cracker on the arch this morning.

Okay. So my boyfriend works on a radio station called the arch and he goes to a B day. And I'm like, no, it was just offensive. He goes, well, maybe your husband would enjoy it. And I said, I don't have a husband. Now, can I please ask you to leave this zoom so I can finish my birthday message to my friend, Chris? He said, you're friends with a man. Does his wife know? I say, he doesn't have a husband. Now, can I please ask you to leave this Zoom so I can finish my birthday message to my friend, Chris? He said, you're friends with a man?

Does his wife know? I say, he doesn't have a wife. Unmarried, eh? So he must be a young man. Let me guess, six or seven? No, he's turning 40. And unless you have a birthday song to sing, I think you should go. I actually think I have the perfect song.

It's actually a birthday jingle I wrote for my great-grandfather right before he passed at the ripe old age of 33. But I can change it up a little bit for your elderly boyfriend. What's his name? I said, it's Chris. And he's not my boyfriend. He's actually my ex-boyfriend. And he goes, now you're just friends. And then it's a joke about us being complicated. And so this is a song that he wrote for his grandpa. So, oh, Chris keeps inching closer to the grave ever since he had to free his favorite slave but he's a good old-fashioned man a founding member of the klu klux klan the road to racial hatred he did pave biggity gramps and then he

says happy birthday chris he heard that with his family yeah oh my god that's great they were just relieved it didn't mention my you know hastily packed suitcase but it was from it was a dream come true for me too because it was like that's getting to you know that was a yeah a bit where you just fill in like and you fully produced it yeah it was and i've never done that before i've yeah you're gonna get writers guild residuals i hope yes you know it was really kind of doing my little, you know, like a make a wish of like being a Conan writer for myself, because although I've been on without having to have cancer, there's like there's a certain prestige that comes with the title of Conan writer that I I just have a you know, I I think that's like the highest echelon of comedy writing you and Veep, you know, for me that's veep 30 rock conan it's like that's it that's the that's the big league so for me to be able to take a and that was really just filling in the trying out new material i mean it was just like that's a four you guys oftentimes have like formats that are just tried and true and you just plug in highly specific, hilarious stuff. Don't tell people this.

But it was cool to. It's called doing the same thing again and again. That's what we love. I love. It's called running out of ideas. I've never heard it put in such complimentary terms. I know. You have these incredible formats.

You know that. You run into the ground. Yeah. You basically are doing Mad Libs, but those adjectives you pick are different than other shows. They're more, they have more syllables.

You know, I'm not kissing your ass, but you guys, this is, you're the top tier. Now that the show's off the air, we can officially say that you're an honorary Conan writer.

I will take that and show up in the next room. You guys all form wherever you're going next. I mean, Oh, that'd be great. Yeah. I mean, it's been a fucking honor to be in that world.

And when I come by the show to just get to, you know, Brian, Kylie and Lori Kilmartin are, you know, I've always, I've known them just from comedy and they always stop you know, Brian, Kylie and Laurie Kilmartin are, you know, I've always, I've known them just from comedy and they always stop by the, like, I remember in college, like we got Andy Blitz's number somehow, like my friend's friend. He was a late night writer.

Yeah. Somehow got his number, maybe just from the New York phone book at the time. Exactly. And we called him just to be like, we cannot believe we talked to Andy Blitz, like the guy that does the claps in the audience. You know, the chanting guy. Yes, the chanting guy. Yeah. Can we talk a little bit about your first appearance on Conan as a stand up? Because that was your I mean, you've been on a million times and you became a guest, a couch guest, which is a level up. But your first time doing stand-up on late night

or no it was on the tbs show yes is that right yes um what was that yeah that must have been surreal was that your first late night appearance or no no it wasn't my my first late night appearance was actually leno before conan came so it was real i was 24 but oh wow conan to me was like i don't like doing things unless I'm at like I would never try to like get in because especially with Conan it's like I don't feel like I deserve to sit at that table yet um and so I remember the booker JP working with me seeing me at festivals wanting to get a set together and I would just not get back to him because I was just like I just don't feel like I deserve it yet. Like I just, well,

and you don't want to get your dream gig and then have it not go well or something. And then you're just, I don't think I ever thought I was going to ever, I still don't, you know, like that's the time where I kind of feel like an imposter is just in that, in the Conan environment,

because I just put it on such a pedestal that this is why I've been dodging, even getting to this part of the show where you talk about my appearances, because I just feel like I don't even want to talk about it because I realized that as soon as you get to it and I was like, Oh my God, why am I tensing up? It's because I don't even like to, I don't watch my own standup.

I am kind of embarrassed even though I stand by it. There's some jokes I do that I really like love, but there's something about, you're very good at it. You should watch. I know. You'd like it i know i got you'd be a fan i know it's just it's so weird maybe you do impressions of yourself yeah maybe i would i expect other people to enjoy me but i can't even watch it's just such an ironic

thing but um yeah that i remember jp telling me you know when i did uh a podcast with him saying like you were the only comic that i like couldn't you wouldn't get back to me, you know, when I did a podcast with him saying like, you were the only comic that I like, couldn't, you wouldn't get back to me. Like you wouldn't, you were dodging my calls because I just felt I'm not worthy, you know? But I had my parents come out for it when I finally booked it. I, because they were just such an integral part of me loving Conan. And I brought my little, I had my dad fly into town with my you know in the year 2000 book that I had from high

school that I would highlight the funniest and I would that's where it went yeah the one the one copy that I loved that book so much because it was the first time that I'd ever seen jokes written where i could study them

and go i see why this is funny here's yeah like i could really treat jokes like math equations and i you could go they are yeah they are and that's what i love about them is you go okay i know this element and this element how do i make this how do i connect these two and make it funny and it's it's just so satisfying but i felt like you look back at that, that book and all my notes in it in high school in class and me and my friends, you know, circling our favorites and you just kind of see that start of,

so you look at it and go, that's someone who likes to write jokes. And like, I learned from that book. Yeah. And so he signed it and that was, it's this tattered copy. It's just like,

Oh, that's great. And he was so nice to my family. And, um, it was just what, you know, one of those moments.

Conan met your parents back in the green room. Oh, that's so nice. It was so nice. And so right before the pandemic, I was on in the studio version. It was the last time I was on and it was the week before everything shut down. It was one of the last things.

My mom said Conan was the last person she hugged before ever, like for years. And so she was like maybe i gave him kovac she was so worried for weeks because it was that time when we were kind of going into hugs like yeah yeah we had a surprise for you tell mom he was very very sick um so he yeah that was the last and he came back again to hang out with my family. And I have these pictures. My dad gets tears in his... My dad doesn't cry that often, except when the Rockettes are performing for some reason

at the Macy's Day Parade. It's the only time. Totally normal and healthy. When you saw Conan being a fan of mine, it really... We both feel the same way about Conan. And so it really is just this... It's so cute to see my dad so nervous to meet Conan, wanting to make a good impression, like really we we both feel the same way about conan and so it really is just like this oh it's

so cute to see my dad like so nervous to meet conan wanting to make a good impression but with like tears in his eyes he looks like he just has like an eye problem because he's like not indicating in any other way that he's emotional but it's so cute and he's holding my little dog that i brought so he just he's like i hate that picture i'm holding this little dog and i've got tears in my eyes i look so just emasculated in front of Conan. But it's such a, it's just a picture

I will cherish forever is my dad like gazing at Conan adoringly and just being. I love that. Finally, someone made Conan look more masculine. It was win-win for all concerned. Yes, yes.

Yes. So it's, yeah, it's, that's been one of the best things about being you know quote unquote making it is being able to bring my family along for these things like they they're bill maher fans too i mean i've only done this for conan and for bill maher in terms of like they have to be at this because they are the ones that like kind of got me into this person and right i sometimes i think if my parents died like would i keep doing this because i feel like all i do anything for is to be like mom and dad look look what i did i did it yeah i think that's a crisis that everyone goes

through when they probably lose a parent is like what's the point now like yeah and that's why i recently told my boyfriend i'm like you have to start caring about every fucking thing. Like, you need to watch me on E! Pop News daily and, like, text me, like, you look beautiful. Like, I need, because my parents are so, I really lucked out. I hope he likes this podcast. Yeah. Thankfully, that's the only place my parents, like, don't even really listen to those. Right, right. And I feel safe.

They'll definitely listen to this one. But, yeah. Yeah, ha ha. Well, you do four a week. Oh, my God. Yeah. Ha ha. You do for a week. Oh my God. Yeah. Jesus. No one loves her child that much.

Oh my God. They've got grandkids now. So yeah, I've, I've fallen in the ranks and they've all got podcasts too. Um, but I, my parents just met Wilco this.

Oh, another Wilco was the other third thing. So my parents got me into wilco's similar way to conan like my dad was just like you need to check this out and i kind of fought it because i was like you always know what's cool before me it kind of made me mad right you're not right about everything yes yeah and then i gave it a try and i was just like oh fuck and i became obsessed like i'm someone who goes hard and then it becomes my identity and that was like 2008 for me was all i wore was wilco merchandise, like bumper stickers.

I just wanted to attract other Wilco fans and then I would find my boyfriend. But I got asked to do Carpool Karaoke. Rachel, who used to work at Conan. Rachel Whitley. Rachel Whitley. She's a segment producer on Late Night in Conan. She's great. So great.

And I became friends with her through her segment producing and us having conversations about what we talk about hang out she's really fun to hang out she's really awesome yeah so rachel is now working over uh for carpool karaoke booking that right she texts me out of the blue i'm on fucking doing f boy island too and she's like do you like duran duran and uh yes it coming out this summer on hbo max beautiful she's like how do you feel about duran duran and i was like i just i don't really know them i mean i it's just i fine i don't want to fake it you know i don't want it i would love to do carpool karaoke but first of all i i just i wanted to be sincere and i go yeah so i'm not your girl for

this and luckily they held out and they found someone who's they said that they have never had someone as big of a fan of the artist as the one person they found for duranduran and then also for me for it was someone in duranduran yeah i was the drummer but so you got to do it with will yeah so rachel was like okay well i thought of you for this but there like, are there people you would like? And so I gave her a very short list, three names and I throw out Wilco, but I was like, they're too cool to do carpool karaoke. And then she came back and she goes, yeah, I, they're on board. As soon as they heard your name, they're on board.

And I blacked out. I didn't even, I called my parents right away and I was like, we were all crying. Cause they were just like, they could, they worship jeff tweedy and um have seen them you know dozens of times and he's from kind of st louis area which is where i'm from and so um and it was a weird thing because right after i got off the call with them i had to go to do f boy island 2 coming out this summer on hbo max and i had to go to set and i it was too much for me to handle that I was doing this and I I forgot about it I chose to like it's a weird thing I do sometimes when things are

too exciting right it was almost like it was like a dream like don't even focus on it because it wasn't real Nikki right and then like a week later I was like oh my god wait a second I'm doing like I it's unreal that I don't know even it's some weird cognitive phenomenon that i had not encountered since but i forgot about it and then i remembered and um last minute i was like you know what i'm starting to do things on my own i don't need to bring my parents to everything i have a reality show coming out with them like i don't want to be that girl and it was the night it was two nights before going to chicago to do it and i was like what am i this is all i do this for is to like bring my loved ones into experiences that are so cool and they came to

wilco with me and i they were just going to do this one part of it and be in the crowd at shot and um but instead they like towed in the car behind and then the tweeties like loved my parents so much that you reminded me of it of like when you said the vacationing together they literally at the end of it at we we quit filming and then they were like do you want to come back to like see the studio like we know you guys are huge fans like where we record everything oh my god they spent an extra two hours entertaining my family showing us around their recording studio the wilco headquarters and then they invited me to the solid sound festival which is their music comedy festival they're like why haven't you ever done it i'm like because i've been waiting

for you to ask so i'm going this may and they also were like wow my mom is texting with the tweeties like they're friends now with these oh no no you have to shut that down it's so i couldn't believe and my parents are so cool that it was kind of, it was kind of nice to watch how like the tweeties kind of lit up. Like, oh, these are actually, and Jeff at one point goes, we should vacation together. And it was a real moment. And I was like, I cannot believe what's happening here. It was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. But it felt the same way with like with conan too like yeah when

i got to talking with conan especially on his podcast i felt like oh we could be friends like he needs a friend and i like he actually does need a friend yeah oh my god you know this was the dream was just being able to be real with people that i just be friends with them, you know? Yeah. And it's happening. I have always really been a fan of... Your couch appearances are always so packed with jokes. Aw. And I don't know how much you want to go into demystifying that process, but...

I will. You are always... Because I've seen you on other panels, too, and you're always... Like, you bring it. You have so much material ready to go. Thank you. How do you prepare for these appearances?

I really appreciate that because there are a lot of times where I'll be promoting something and they're like, we don't really know if we can get her on the couch. And I'm like, I'm couch gold. Have you not? I work at it.

I'm not going to make one phone call with someone while I'm in the back of a car, you know, on my phone doing Wordle, half listening, being like, oh, yeah, I can talk about my dog. I'm writing jokes. I put so much work into Couch. Why wouldn't you want me? Even if no one knows who I am, at least it's going to be funny. Right. You know, I just don't.

Yeah. You know, I'm usually second person on the show. There's not a lot of times where the second person is that much more famous. It just doesn't make sense why I'm not booked more. Because I agree. And the reason I'm good is because I put work in. I'm not saying that I'm good for any other reason than it matters to me and I care. Conan used to have comic guests come on who wouldn't prepare at all.

And he'd be, I don't understand it. Yeah, people can't be funny you can't be funny in that condensed of a period of time and guarantee that it's all gonna go well understand yeah like when i've done roast before there was one time i did a roast and you would never know it because they edited this person's set to make it actually look funny but this comic just had a couple words written down on a sheet of paper and was just going to wing it and like do crowd work. Oh boy. I couldn't believe it because when I'm preparing for a roast, it's sleepless.

It's like, I always compare it to pregnancy where I'm like, remind me never to do this again. Right. Because I always tell my friends at the end of it, I want to die. Like, I hate this. I'm so scared. You're a target too for everyone. So I don't even consider that mic until I'm there there i don't even think because if i think about that right

and that's a whole other basket of bullshit you won't shit for two oh my god yeah yeah that is something i save to deal with after when i'm like don't have to worry about writing jokes and then that that gets it's a whole other you know bag of sadness but i don't feel like i deserve to be places so i work hard to mitigate against my lack of natural talent that i you know believe is is just you know but then it turns out that working hard is it is guess what that's what talent is i read a book called the talent code that blew my mind and it's about how we attribute celebrities and people with talent to just having it out of the gate. There's some savants that sit down at a piano and they know it. That happens.

That is so abnormal. The Beyonce's, the Serena Venus Williams. I'm thinking of examples they gave in this book of people that we just go, they just had it. Yes, there's a little bit of something in the beginning where someone goes you're pretty you have a knack for this yeah you have a baseline everyone just has a fucking knack in the beginning at best no one is just it takes hours it takes 10 000 hours it's like the multiple things yeah yeah and so i think i just realized early on that my obsession with I will exhaust myself working is what my innate talent is. And so I'll just use that to fill in the rest.

So it's something when I so when I get booked on Conan, for example, I put it out of my mind until I get the call from Rachel or producer. And it's usually a week before. And that, and I put, I put off everything. So when I say hard work, I mean, I wait till the last second and then it becomes all nighters.

Right. Like everyone. So that's normal. Yeah. So I wait till the call and before the call, I may be jot leading up to it. It's starting to like sizzle in my mind and my subconscious. I'm starting to be like kind of a bitch to people in my life because I'm mad

at myself that I haven't given it much thought. And then suddenly things are popping up and I start going through my notes on my phone to be like, what are some new, it's usually on Conan. It's a bit, I definitely have not done anywhere else. And it's a bit that is probably like 30 to 50% that I just have been lazy

about. And I, it'll develop to a hundred 100 over the course of you know several hundred sets it'll just find its way i don't usually write off stage because i'm lazy like i in that regard like i've just because i just know that's eventually i do so many sets that i know it's going to happen but when it comes to conan it's great because i go okay this 30 joke if i sit down and i work on it for 20 minutes it's going to happen. But when it comes to Conan, it's great because I go, okay, this 30% joke, if I sit down and I work on it for 20 minutes, it's going to be 100%. I just, that work for me is so excruciating

that only something looming like this will get me to do it. And that's when I sit down and I start, that's when I'm fucking right, is when I have a Conan appearance. So I'll give her some germs of an idea and I'll kind of just like make her laugh and rachel is such a good laugher which is such a key thing in a producer i've had some be

like okay ah you know i'm just trying to be too cool you know like i would be probably you know or they don't even get it like they literally oh don't. Oh my God. Oh my God. Or they come with ideas and you're like, but that was a sincere Instagram post I made. That's not funny. You know? And so, uh, Rachel's always like, I have some ideas, like I come through your stuff, but like, what do you want to talk about? And then she's like, and then she usually actually has things that I go, Whoa, I didn't even think of how that would be funny. And then we come up with probably enough material that would be like five And then we come up with probably enough material that would be like five segments worth, you know? Like I always overwrite so, so much.

Then we trim that down. And then I start booking sets. Like usually, you know, back when I was living in New York or LA, I was doing three sets a night. I would make it, you know, three to five. And then I would just focus on that material. And I would say, I'm about to do conan

can i do this a little more conversationally but then i think that was in the beginning and then i would go out and i would just know it would be machine gun style because also i'm not doing this for everyone to be honest with you because i just know that i want to impress conan like i want to have this is my olympics like i'm performing for my hero yeah and i know that he's someone that has a really good work ethic when it comes to joke writing and doing things like this he doesn't half-ass things so i want him to sense that in me as well so his writers have a good work and yes that too he has a good enforcing of ethic and intimidation ethic. I think in the beginning, I just rehearsed it a million times, ran through it all throughout like the day in hair and makeup. I remember just, I remember so

many times being in my dressing room at Conan and doing the stuff for my hair and makeup people and adding last minute lines. That's always fun too, because, but it really, those were the times where I really like developed my chunks of material that later end up in specials where I go why is that that chunk is the best written and it's like oh because you wrote it and you didn't just wait for it to fall out of your mouth on stage and then I think later on as I got more comfortable in like my fourth couch appearance or like during the pandemic did it a couple times on zoom I think after doing his podcast, it became, okay, I can go to some places that might not have,

aren't just punchline a palooza and might be a little bit more real. And I just saw this side to him that I was like, oh, maybe I can just be interesting. Or maybe, and I also watched back my performance and I go, will you listen, bitch? Will you stop just like railroading the funniest man alive he's very generous with letting you just be you and laughing oh yeah he

doesn't need to talk no he's already said everything he loves the break so many people do not let you do that and they kind of are like who are you stepping into my show and I'm intimidated by improv I've never been an improv person I get nervous doing things on the spot. I want to have a plan. And I know that Conan is very playful in that way. And I think later on, I just was a little, I've been more comfortable recently with being like, let's just have, let's have a plan and know where the jokes are. But how much, the things you like the most are when things go off the rails of the interviews that I've enjoyed with Conan, where he, you know, walks out of the room because something's so insane or right yeah i think that just comes with practice being comfortable with them yeah getting comfortable

with him and like oh yes i'm so relaxed now i we can keep it looser and none of this matters it's like that i i remember having one appearance on it was at the beginning of the pandemic over zoom and it was my dad's office i was living with my parents and it was my first kind of time doing a show from zoom after things had shut down and i had such deep regret about a couple lines i said that were stupid things i said afterwards that i you know because it was zoom i was like can we pick up one thing i said and i i could just tell it was like annoying to myself and probably to him as well and I just I freaked out afterwards like I shut my laptop and I like was sobbing all day because I was like I just embarrassed myself I forgot to do this joke I forgot I was having this right just crisis of

regret of missing jokes I had planned why did i do that one joke he said that one thing and then i just like kept talking could not stop replaying it my parents are like we listened through the door like it sounded like great your parents were outside i was we were walking the dog afterwards it was like you know four o'clock in the afternoon and i'm sobbing in the middle of hardwood hill subdivision and my parents are like nikki you need to get it together everything was funny and i remember it was about something else it was so about something else and i started researching regret because i could not stop overthinking about why did i forget that joke why did i say that one thing yeah and i had never related to people who you know those memes that

are like when you remember that thing you said in seventh grade and in your wide awake in bed i've never done that and you know being mentally ill during the pandemic i was starting to be focused on this dumb thing that and then it aired later that night and i couldn't watch it and then i was kind of listening through the door the way my parents were and i was like wait that was funny and then i watched it i was like yeah that was great and it it was fine. Yeah. But it really helped me because I went and found a lot of resources and meditations and YouTube videos and talks about regret because it was something that was taking over and ruining my life where I couldn't celebrate anything anymore because there was always something I could find where I go, why did you say that? Yeah. I think that was a big pandemic thing where people, the normal life flow and distractions and interactions were all taken away. All gone.

And so you're kind of left with these little things like, oh, I forgot a joke, loom much larger during the pandemic. Yeah, every interaction means so much more. I was crying all the time. And I wish my parents were outside the door. Yeah. No, I know. And I wish my parents were outside the door. Yeah. No. That's so true. Because when I went home and lived with my parents during the pandemic, because I wanted mommy and daddy, I was scared. It was honestly that kind of, you know, I slept on my parents' floor until I was in eighth grade.

I was a scared child, scared of everything and really have attachment issues with them that I've kind of bubbled up during this podcast. But that was exactly it. And before we started recording today, we were talking about my podcast. I do it four times a week. And I just realized that's why I do it is because if I did it once a week, I would overthink it. And it would be leading up to it. And I'd be like, I'm not ready. And I would feel bad. Like, how can you not get ready for a thing you do once one hour a week? How could you not be prepared? Look at your life. So instead, iHeartRadio was like you do once, one hour a week? Right, right, right. How could you not be prepared? Look at your life. You start beating yourself up.

So instead, iHeartRadio came to me and was like, do you want to do a podcast? Yeah, yeah. iHeartRadio asked me to do a podcast. They gave me amount of money and I go, yeah, can I do it for the same amount of money and do four a week? I asked for this because I know that if I have one, it's going to ruin my life. But if people complain about one of my podcasts, I go, well, you get four. So what are you complaining about? Like,

it's such a defense mechanism to keep me from, you know, that little girl with low self-esteem coming in and taking control. So yeah, you're giving people their money's worth. You think though, but it's like, you can't complain because I'm working so hard. That's the thing. It's like, if it's a less quality product, there's more quantity. So what are you complaining about? Like you don't have room to,

and there's also no room for me to stew about it because I got to go do another one. Yeah. In fact, this podcast today doing with you. We've helped distract you even further. I would have freaked out about this. I was just telling my roommate, Andrew, I was like day is this this this and he's like jesus christ and i go i would be so freaked out about this conan podcast right if i didn't stack it like this

but with this it's just another thing and it's just like keep the train moving and we're gonna do this again tomorrow nikki so you could talk about anything we didn't get to we're doing four days a week with only you for the next five months. It's been such a pleasure. You guys are so funny. Thank you. No, we're such fans of yours. Yeah.

Likewise. All right. Thank you, Nikki. That was fantastic. Thank you, Nikki. She's a great guest because she does so much of the work for us. Yeah, I'm kind of excited

about this new show she's working on. Yeah, with her parents. I know. Her parents sound great. Yeah, it sounds cool. Hey, we have a listener question. Yeah. It's a voicemail. Hey, Michael Jesse. This is Brendan calling from Ontario, Canada. And I have a question about a character that used to appear on Late Night Back in Day. It was one of my favorites. He was Artie Kendall, the ghost crooner. That's played by Brian Stack. I just sort of had a question technically about how that worked. Obviously, as a ghost, every time that Artie appeared, he had this sort of ghostly, transparent quality to him,

and I was just sort of wondering technically how that worked. Was Brian standing in a different part of the stage in front of a green screen? Any insights you had to that? I think it would be cool to hear. Love the podcast and keep up the great work. Wow. That's so crazy that Brandon asked about Artie Kendall on the day that we talked about that with Nikki. What a coincidence.

That is a coincidence. This is not planned. No. No, this was just the only voicemail we got this week. Right. And we didn't know about Nikki Glaser's obsession with that Artie Kendall character. Absolutely not. Unless Brandon in quotes is from, is actually Nikki. They're the same. It's coming from the same. That's a good question. It is a good question. Sort of the technical specs of how we created a ghost character on the show. He was a ghost, semi-transparent character who stood right next to Conan's desk.

And so the question was, A, was he standing there or in another part of the studio? Brian Stack, who played the character, was standing right next to Conan's desk. And the way they would make him transparent is during the commercial break, the camera that would shoot Artie and Conan standing next to each other would get in position and lock. It would lock down its position so the camera couldn't move. Once that was done, once they had that back plate, he would just sing live next to Conan at his desk.

Yeah. And in the control room, they would half kind of dissolve away that shot of him singing live and he would kind of disappear against the background shot that they already, the back plate, singing live and he would kind of disappear. Yeah. Against the background shot that they already, the back plate and they would just dissolve them away.

So the audience was just seeing Brian Stack. Yes. In real life. In real life. Standing next to Conan. I mean, the live audience was seeing that. But there were so many monitors, you know, they're like TV monitors everywhere.

So I feel like the studio audience is always kind of watching it live, you know, kind like tv monitors everywhere so i feel like the studio audience is always kind of watching it live you know kind of half and half watching the monitors so they they could kind of um enjoy looking up at the monitor and wondering hey how'd they i mean i would be curious like how did they do that you know it kind of looks like magic yeah but i also love that he was there in person as opposed to having to patch in a recording of him or have him in front of a green screen in another part of the stage. Right, which sometimes you would do if something was more elaborate. But literally, since the whole conceit was he was a ghost next to Conan's desk, then you didn't need to have a separate green screen. Yeah.

If that makes sense. One thing that I learned when I first started working there was Conan and Robert Smigel, when they created the show, had a really, I think, a good sense of old kind of showbiz, like putting on a show, like putting on a live show. And they'd often think of, hey, how can we let the live audience kind of in on how we're making something yeah and have them see kind of behind the scenes the magic yes

and only if you're in the studio audience you get to see that magic and sure enough that would kind of get the crowd more into the bit because they kind of understood that what they were seeing wasn't on the monitor right above them yeah and so i think it made it more special and they also enjoyed the comedy bit more yeah i was remembering a bit that i did a few times that or that i had written right um where i mean it's kind of hard to explain but essentially it would involve freezing conan on the background and then he would kind of step behind himself, behind the frozen version of himself. Like different versions of Conan would come out to the side and comment on the frozen Conan.

Like different personalities almost. Exactly. And the way we did that was with a green screen that would come out during, I guess it was probably during a previous bit. If it was a, if it was a pre-tape bit, then someone would bring out a green screen right behind Conan and then he would make that happen live. Right. And just freeze multiple, multiple times. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, whenever, whenever you're doing something like that, there's also always a lot of mistakes

that can happen because there's so much timing that needs to be perfect for the effect to come off. Right.

So, that was also fun was there would usually be some sort of mistake that Conan would comment on. Yeah, exactly. Like, he was always great at that,

at knowing him getting to comment on a mistake would just elevate the comedy and the fun of the bit overall, usually. Yeah. And I mean, I think he personally loved that, too. It was just having the opportunity to sort of deconstruct everything that was going on for the audience. No, he'd love to make fun of like, you know, you know, we're doing this on a $10 budget and at the local feed store and everything's going wrong. When actually we had a pretty sizable budget. Oh my God. But it didn't help. Quite, quite substantial. Just incompetent people in charge of it. A lot of nepotism. I'm just talking about myself. Yeah. Everyone else was

great. Well, Hey, I think we answered that question. All right. Well, thanks for the question. Yeah. Thanks, Brandon. And I'm glad that our show is being heard in international spots. Right. All over North America. Yes. Unless it was Ontario, California. No, I think it was Canada. Well, hey, if you guys have listener questions for us that will perfectly correspond to the interview that we are airing. Dubtail. Please send them in inside ConanPod at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail like Brandon. Yes.

323-209-5303. Clairvoyance on your part is a must. Yes. That's our show for the week. That's it. Just that. Only that. Your voyance on your part is a must. Yes. That's our show for the week. That's it. Just that. Only that.

Oh, is there something else I'm forgetting? I don't think you're forgetting. I think you're just teasing. Just a little foreplay. Oh boy, now we're edging into a new... We're edging. Oh man, we started out, it was so innocent. I know. And now it's...

It's not sexual. Of course not. But it is love. We started out, it was so innocent. I know. And now it's... It's not sexual. Of course not. But it is love. We love you. Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast, is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jessi Gaskell. Produced by Sean Doherty. Our production coordinator is Lisa Byrne. Executive produced by Joanna Solotaroff, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross

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