Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Remembering Brian Reich

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

Our friend Brian Reich, the legendary Late Night with Conan O’Brien writer responsible for characters like the Masturbating Bear and Pimpbot 5000, passed away on September 12, 2022. We were lucky enough to have him on the show back in November 2021, where he told one of our favorite stories in all of Conan history. He was a sweet man with a brilliant comedic mind - his contributions to our show, and comedy, are countless. We’ll miss him.

Hello there and welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. We're your hosts. I'm Jesse Gaskell and I'm here with Mike Sweeney. And as some of you may have heard, our friend Brian Rich passed away last week. It's very sad news. Yes. Unexpected. It was a bit of a... I mean, it was a total shock. And we just want to talk about Brian a second because he was such a brilliant comedy writer and such a sweet guy and such a smart, funny man. some of everyone's favorite late night with Conan O'Brien characters, including the Masturbating Bear and Pimpod 5000.

And so much of his comedy back then was so unique and had such a great voice that it really helped establish kind of the bold and silly comedy that Conan became known for in the early years. And Brian was a big, big part of that. Yeah, that is clear. And Brian went on after Late Night to continue leaving his mark on comedy. He worked on shows like Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Sacha Baron Cohen's Who Is America, Eagleheart,

and Let's Be Real. And there are just so many people who have wonderful stories about working with Brian. Really memorable person in everybody's lives. Yeah. And if you want to see one of his old late night bits, it's kind of a piece that's better rated. It's called the Late Night Sting Operation or it's a sting operation. And it's on Team Coco.

And it's, that to me is like a great example. Yes. Of one of his, the bits he would do. I mean, we were all the writers at Conan where we were all in awe of him. Yeah.

And we were lucky enough to get to talk to Brian on our show last season. So we wanted to reshare that interview. It features one of our favorite stories that's ever been told on the podcast. Yes. It's really special. We're so excited to get that story, have Brian come on and tell the story. It's something that he did at late night that I said we were all in awe of him. Well, the awe level went off the charts after this.

Yes. And it's a wild story. So here's our interview with Brian Rich. If you're a fan of Conan, and especially Conan's late night with Conan O'Brien years, there were so many great sketches and characters that came up and were created in the mid to late 90s. These characters still come up all the time, Masturbating Bear, Pimp Bot, and a lot of really great memorable sketches. And when people ask me about them, I always mention our next guest who created so many of these memorable moments, Mr. Brian Rich. Brian, welcome to the show. Welcome, Brian. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you for having me. Oh my God. Yeah, it's long overdue. Yeah, it's funny. Actually, I think you kind of went out to me once to maybe see if I could do this show before. And this was when you were in New York. And I think that it's funny because I think I said I can't because I was working with Smigel. And then Smigel came and did it. Yeah. You know, we were doing some like test,

like pilot thing for something that we ended up doing this year. Right. But I was like, I don't think I can, I really should go to this thing. And then I get there and it's like, where's Robert? Oh, he's going to be in late. He's doing this Conan podcast.

And I was like, okay, great. Yeah. Well, you created an opening when you said no. Yeah, I know. That's great. He was getting calls from someone on your team, I think, during our podcast. Where are you?

Yeah, that's when I learned not to ever be a team player. Well, we're glad that we got you in between Smigled projects. Yes. We get so many questions about the characters that you've created. They're still some of people's all-time favorites. That's great. That's great to hear. Well, we want to go back to kind of to the beginning of your time on the show because you came over from David Letterman, right? Was that your first writing job out of college? Yeah. Yeah, that was pretty much my first job was Letterman in the same building, in the same studio as, you know, Late Night with Conan O'Brien later was to be in.

So, yeah, I worked for Letterman at the very end of his run at NBC there. And then Conan was my next job after that. What was it like starting at Letterman right out of college? That had to be, were you intimidated? Yeah, I mean, I was really just excited to get the job. I think I got it about a year after I actually graduated. Okay. What took so long?

Yeah, I don't know. I'm a bit of a slacker. Wait, so you were 23? Yeah. So I was like, can I still write for young people anymore? Is anyone going to get my references? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it was just really exciting i mean i remember

when i heard i was getting hired and i was uh i was living at home with my parents in new jersey and i think that was like the biggest thrill of all it's like oh thank god i'm now having to move out yes i can have enough money and to like get out of here and like leave this behind forever. Once I explained to them who David Letterman is. Yeah. So moving back there after college was just a big mistake, but it did,

it did motivate me to, right. You know, that's a great motivator. Yeah. Get a good application together. Well, you were on,

you were in the Harvard Lampoon, right? So that, right. That's where you probably knew all these people who had. And you're like, everyone who graduates works in television. Yeah, well, not. Yeah. But yeah, we knew about, oh, you know, we'd hear about like this and that person who had gone on to write for shows we were into, you know. Right.

And did you had you heard of Conan at that point? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Conan amongst them. Conan was still, you know, he graduated way before me, but he was still, you know, he was talked about because he was two time president there. Of the Lampoon. Of the Lampoon. Okay. Overachiever. Always showing off. Usually, you know, it's always a senior is president, pretty much. So it was kind of an unusual thing that he got elected in his junior year and senior year. Maybe that happened

once before. I don't know. But now we know so much about election cheating and vote counting. Yes, that's right. I think we need to revisit his double presidency. It seems unlikely that that could have actually happened twice. So you had some awareness of Conan. So when you were at Letterman and you heard that Conan was taking over late night, were you surprised? Yeah, I think, well, I mean, of course, it was a little after Letterman that Conan got the job, right? Wasn't Letterman off? Yeah, he was definitely off NBC before they made the Conan announcement in between. Okay. Yeah. You know, I wasn't really ready to jump back into writing right then. But I remember thinking the back of my mind, this will be something to watch, you know, and see maybe this is a place I'll want to work. I guess I remember watching the early shows, you know, and thinking, yeah, you know, maybe, you know, maybe down the line, this will be for me. Maybe if they find their footing.

Yeah, I guess we were all kind of excited. I guess we were like, yeah, finally, you know, funny writers are gonna step to the floor you know like why are all these you know meat puppets saying our jokes getting you know this is gonna usher in a new age of the writer scholar celebrity revenge of the nerds yeah so that had to be a little weird. Your next job after Letterman was in the same studio. Or it was probably very comforting. Did you act like, guys, I know my way around here. I knew where the commissary was. You know what I mean?

What were some of your immediate impressions of the Conan writing staff? And just how was it different from being at Letterman? It was kind of wilder like when i was there we had a lot of late nights there because we'd eat dinner we do the show yeah then we'd eat dinner in this ugly awful conference room where if you didn't like the food it got like thrown up in the ceiling where tiles were missing and just to see what would happen to it after a couple months and uh and then we'd go back in to the to the tiles were missing and just to see what would happen to it after a couple of months. And,

and then we'd go back in to the, to the head writer's room and work on whatever we had to crank out bits for, you know, the next day or the next few days. And I, I remember a game we started playing that I've tried to explain to people. I think I know what's coming, but I'm not sure,

but go ahead. Did you invent this game? Was it called Baghead? Baghead, yeah. Yes, Baghead. Can you explain? Wait till everyone hears the rules. Let's see if I can remember exactly.

But yeah, it just gets so loopy and bored that you just need something to stimulate you. We were all very punch drunk. It'd be like 1030 at night. And I'm also someone who hates just sitting still for hours like i just feel my body corroding right like you know i'm always like in writer's room for their too long getting up and pacing around and right but anyway baghead is uh it's a very it's a giddy game you you put a bag a paper bag i guess it was usually like the bag we had gotten our dinner in or something right you put a bag a paper bag i guess it was usually like the bag we had gotten our dinner in or something right you put a bag over the head your head and then you would have to go around

the circle of each person in the in the room in the head writer's room like we'd be arranged kind of in a circle right you'd go up to each person you'd lower your head and then that person would get a free snack of your head. Oh, my God. You didn't know exactly when it was coming. So you're kind of waiting. It's just kind of funny. You'd let the person sit there for quite a while.

And you weren't slamming the person that hard. It was just hard enough to be kind of funny. When you brought this up, I assumed it was going to be some sort of way of generating ideas, like an improvisation game, but it literally was just, we're going to punch each other with the bag on. It took away ideas by causing

concussions. Brain damage. No, I explained that game to people, and I'm like, I was like, oh my god, it was so hilarious. You put a bag on your head, and then go around and people punched you in the head that's it that reminds me when i was actually uh just remind me at letterman there was a game called tub of tea you'd sit in a tub of tea and people would punch you no there was no tea or tub it was also just punching you in the head with a bag but i think i see where you got this idea yeah when we would order chinese they'd bring our tea it'd be these big plastic containers and they'd be piping hot and it would always be can you you know someone would try to drink the piping hot tub of tea you you know, in the break the record for time. And you'd be trying to just

down it, but it's scalding you so much. And everyone, of course, would be chanting like tub of tea, tub of tea. So you had to do it. You had to do it. But yeah, I don't know. I think Baghead probably loosened things up pretty much. I remember though, it being outrageous that at one point Ellie would not don the bag. Ellie Barancic. Oh, right. She's the writer's assistant. Writer's coordinator.

Yeah, at that time. Oh, she refused to do it. Which is fine if you don't want to participate. Right. But she had hit the bag head. Oh, gotcha. If you hit the bag, you must also put your head in the bag, I think, is the fair rule. I mean, that's fair.

And those are the rules that come on the box when you get the game. It's weird that the bag is boxed. And I remember the head writer, he'd be like, you guys are hitting me harder. He was getting mad. And we're like, well, yeah, you're the one keeping us here. I'm sure that game still goes on today, doesn't it? Sure, of course. I can't imagine it dying out.

No, something like that would never happen. No. As long as there are paper bags to be had. It was terrifying. Brian, do you remember, not to put you on the spot, but the origins of Masturbating Bear? Because we obviously get a lot of inquiries about MB and we just would love to get like a real soup to nuts of Masturbating Bear and where that came from. Yes. Yeah, it's funny, Kirstie. If you actually if you Google my name and Brian Rich and Masturbating, Masturbating bear is still one of the top three hits that will come up.

That's great. Yeah. And Mike, I think you actually, I remember you corrected me after a panel like years ago, because I had forgotten the actual, the actual origin. I thought it was a new characters thing,

which is the sketch we started doing afterwards, like just introducing it. Right. But what it actually was, was pleasing the affiliates. I also love that you already did a panel about masturbating. Right. We need to get people to talk about this.

And then we broke off into separate discussion groups. Yes. Yes. Pleasing the affiliates. So yes, pleasing the affiliates so yes pleasing the affiliates so i just like the premise that the masturbating bear was a pre-existing character the idea was right we're from now on we're going to have the masturbating bear bound up right right so that he can't masturbate anymore i think it was like an affiliate like conan would read letters like i think it was like an affiliate or somethingan would read letters like i think it was

like an affiliate or something like that like somewhere that they'd be conservative and and they were complaining about the masturbating bear which didn't exist right you know in reality as a character right in reality uh and so we are agreeing now to uh the masturbating bear would be shackled and we had you you know, the trainers, which you and I actually played. Right. Like, uh,

on, we had cattle prods and everything. We're going to make sure that the masturbating bear would no longer, uh, be allowed to masturbate when he appeared on the show. Yes. What the masturbating bear in any conception was supposed to have been doing other than masturbating and all these other appearances, you know, is left unsaid.

It still hasn't been addressed. Yeah. So, of course, he, you know, he breaks free and he starts masturbating. Right. And then, yeah, it went from there. I just had to think of new permutations. I remember there was one where he was being totally good and not masturbating. And then Conan walks over to congratulate him i think and

his hand passes through him and he realizes it's actually a hologram and then we cut to the masturbating bear operating like a hologram machine and he's been masturbating wildly the whole time i forgot that it was just one beat in this desk piece, you know, a piece that's like five minutes long. Yeah. The crowd went so nuts for it that right away, it's just like, uh, I mean. A blessing and a curse. Yeah. That's your bit now and you own it.

Right. And it's, it's a double-edged sword because, you know, the, all of a sudden it's like, we need more masturbating bear and. Yeah. We need him in more and more precarious scenarios. Right. But after three weeks, it's,

you're probably like, Oh God, please no more. You know, this isn't a rich multi-dimensional character. Yeah. After I left the show though, I don't think I ever watched masturbating.

Well, I've seen a few but i just didn't i don't want to know painful yeah they've cheapened it it's not all about the masturbating it's about the inherent tension between what the bear wants and what the show wants there was one really great one i don't know if you ever saw it we were in chicago for a week yeah and so conan's on stage at the chicago theater this is like 2006 i think so it is after you had left the show of and but he's like well you know people are like where's the masturbating bear you got to have them in chicago but i promise you you know it's a vile character. There's no way we would bring that character here to Chicago. And then you just cut to a pre-tape and it was an airplane, a biplane.

And the masturbating bear skydives out of the plane over, like there was a cameraman skydiver as well. Wow. Who shot the whole thing. Before CGI. Oh, yeah. You saw this amazing view of Lake Michigan and and down you know the sears tower and and it was all to mission impossible music and we actually got a skydiver to put on the masturbating bear costume and jump and it was one of those things when it was edited overnight and, you know, I think Michael Coleman and Andrew and Michael Gordon and Andrew Weinberg edited it.

And like all the writers gathered around and just watched it like 20 times in a row on a computer because it just you couldn't believe it existed. I'm surprised that the bear suit didn't disintegrate from the air pressure against it skydiving. The tough bear just flying away you know well they knew they knew the first time you created it like this has to be it's got to be able to withstand air pressure yeah let's let's put in the extra money now how did you cast who was actually going to play the masturbating bear because you didn't take that glory role for yourself yeah um i don't know i i you know if i knew that it would you know have such repercussions and go on i longevity yeah i'm sure i would have tried to get in the bear suit you know that's just uh

you tire on that stuff you could be doing appearances still. I don't remember. I think it was probably just a matter of Michael Gordon saying, you know, yeah, I'm not busy. Cause when you're in something like that, you know, it's going to take a lot of the day out to go to rehearsals and all that stuff.

So if you're too busy with something. Right. But he also played a lot of mute characters on the show. Like he, he played like a giant ant and he'd play a skunk and he he so he did all these kind of mimey giant costume like he played the stanley cup where he had a giant stanley cup on his body and you just saw his legs so it probably was like does this bear talk no okay it's it's a it's gonna be gordon yeah i he was this thing diz i think before

right it might have been before i even started i don't know if they had stopped doing it by then but it's very early character of his diz was a character he would come out i think he had like he almost had like a where's waldo kind of shirt on and would come out and just spin around to music and a sign that said go dis go until until he got dizzy and fell down right and he would interrupt the like i think i think his favorite time appearance was during a bob an interview with the real bob dole oh my god go dis go and he just comes up and he literally got so dizzy. I think he half fell into Bob Dole on the couch. That was a sketch called Not Pleasing Our Affiliates.

Right. That's probably what led to the creation of that bit. They must still do that. I remember now, like after the show, sometimes Conan would have to stay out there for, like, another hour and just film these little messages, you know, for the affiliates. Like, hey, TLU. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep it going, Sam.

You know, whatever. Like, hey, Santa Cruz. Yeah. And people tend to go, wow, he really knows what's going on in our town, you know? Right, right. We're cruising to great ratings. Thanks to you. in our town, you know? Right, right. We're cruising to great ratings, thanks to you.

Well, and another one of your famous sketches was PimpBot. Yes. Can you really quickly explain the premise of PimpBot to anyone who might be unfamiliar? PimpBot was a, well, it's... It's in the name, much like Baghead.

Right, if you're an etymologist you could probably he was a uh robot pimp yeah he combined the sensibilities of a 70s street pimp with that of uh sort of a 50s sci-fi robot and he would come out and move mechanically and he would uh talk about you know his hose and he would threaten conan with a switch blade he would threaten to make conan one of his prostitutes if conan pushed into our that's right oh and conan always be like i'm hosting the show i don't have time to prostitute myself in the way in the way you envision but otherwise yeah right otherwise full speed ahead which also it's it seems like started as a a one-off character and then was so popular that he he got his own spin-off series because it didn't it start i think he was from a new character yeah that one

if i'm wrong pimpop 5000 right i think also tommy blotcha i have to give him some of the credit the initial idea for him something about you know the robot pimp we shared a office together tommy and i but then i i did write right yeah the initial thing and his whole the name of him and his whole persona and everything and the rhyming and all that. His whole shtick. I remember I read Pimp by Iceberg Slim to get some, you know. Oh, right. Some ideas and background.

Some verite. Some other similar literature by this guy, Donald Goines. Like, you know, these books like Whoreson and, you know, all these these inner city kind of 70s. Right. Yeah, literature. Wow, you really did your homework. I remember once we had this show sold, Lost in Space, the original Lost in Space.

I don't know if anyone even remembers it. Yeah, yeah, sure. But the original Dr. Smith was on our show. Because Conan, especially in the early years, would have all these, a lot of actors from hit 60s shows. And it was kind of like a, you know,

people you hadn't heard from in years. And one of them was this guy, Jonathan Harris, who is the original Dr. Smith. I think there was a, during his interview, the idea was pimp bot would come out and yeah,

you bubble headed boobie, you get out of the, you bucket of bolts. So we went in to talk to him before the show and Conan was like, oh, you know, your show was on in reruns when I was a kid and I watched every episode. He's like, of course you did. He was just like over the top, Flamboyant.

And we went over the sketch with him and he was just like, of course I've got it. Yes, of course, I'm a professional. Broadway, you name top, Flamboyant. And we went over the sketch with him and he was just like, of course, I've got it. Yes, of course. I'm a professional. Broadway, you name it, I've done it. And we're like, okay, this is going to be great. And then he's out there on the couch with Conan. His interview's winding up.

And then you hear the mechanical noises and Pimpot comes out and goes, something like, hey, Dr. Smith, you know, and Jonathan Harris just looks at him and goes, oh, what a lovely fellow. He didn't do it. Totally forgot. He literally in the 10 minutes that it lapsed, forgot there was going to be a sketch. He forgot all his training.

And Conan's like, oh, Dr. Harris, it's a robot robot who's a pimp and he's like oh charmed i'm sure like he just oh and so the the actor playing the the robot doing the moves he had to keep making his moves yeah for like 20 minutes just waiting you still hear all the servo sounds so were these uh sketches that you were proud of like did you tell your family yeah hey look you guys got to watch tonight the masturbating bear is on i don't think i did i don't think i did. I don't think I did. I think I, yeah.

You had another bit on that you could tell your parents about. And no, it's one of my favorite bits. And they put it, I think Team Coco put it up a year ago. And it kind of got all, I think, a lot of new attention. It was the FBI sting sketch. Yeah. I love this one. Yeah, that was a fun one to do.

A sketch where Conan's brother is in the audience and Conan introduces him. And it turns out his brother was a felon who was on the lam. And the FBI agents arrest him. And then it turns out the entire Late Night with Conan Obrien show that had been on for like three years already was an elaborate sting to capture conan's felon brother and learn

by luring him to the studio yeah the sting operation sketch yeah that was a fun one and then it ends with them like completely dismantling the set and they dismantled the whole set. And the great part is Conan, everyone who works on the show is in this sting operation, except for Conan. Right. From the very beginning, him getting the job and everything was just to lure his brother out of hiding. He's like, my brother's in the audience today. And then, all right, let's get him. And then Andy's an FBI agent. Everyone, you know, they're all, it was all just to lure this guy.

And what do you think? You'd get it. It never seems weird that you got a show, you know? So everyone left. Everyone, they literally took the set out. And then everyone files out of the studio. Yeah. And I think they took away the death

they took everything away it's a bare bones place then conan just appears in like a spotlight i think i remember like in you know by the monologue area there's kind of just a light on him like there's one light left his dress is dark and he starts making some really hard you know felt speech about you know maybe it was just this thing but you know maybe i made someone laugh and you know i had a dream it's the important thing and and then while he's in the middle starting to do this you know or i'll sum up you just hear from the rafters like a stage or something ah the idiot still thinks people are watching and every you just hear everyone just laughing at him and he just you know

does his like thing of ultimate shame conan and runs away into the darkness which is which is great and then it goes out to commercial on that yeah oh that's one of my favorite things about it like no band kicked in like you know more conan in a minute. It was that commitment to... People watching were like, oh my God. Yeah. Yeah, complete desolation. Right. Yeah. I love then after that, he came back.

You know, well, my next guest. Right, right. I love that it never got deconstructed in any way. Was there a discussion at the time, I wonder, about ending that night's show with a sketch? Because I would have been a... Well, NBC was actually talking about ending the series with that sketch. Hey, you know, this could do double duty for us. We're never going to have a better opportunity. He's giving it to us.

Well, I was wondering, I mean, it seems like you've only had home runs on the show. Do you remember having any sketch that just bombed in rehearsal or something that you were like, this is going to do really well? I don't know. I don't remember anything like completely being, I don't know. I'm sure there were some that, you know, fell flat, probably because of technical problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, of course. Oh, I do remember there was one. It was kind of technical problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, of course. Oh, I do remember there was one.

It was kind of salvaged, but... Oh, it was a kids' show. We did a kids' show. Right. Are you there for that, Sweeney? Yeah. Where the audience was all kids, and we kind of oriented it supposedly toward kids.

Towards kids. Yeah, and there was one... I had one funny thing on that, which was the boredom monster. Right. Which was kind of this way to blackmail the kids through terror that if they're if they start getting too quiet at any point during this show the boredom monster's coming and we've cut to this this horrible monster in the hallway he was slithering his way toward them and they'd all scream and everything and it was just this threat right but there was a thing where for some reason i had this thing uh a parade of birds came down in the audience oh right vomiting was it vomiting

birds yeah yeah i don't know if we said they were vomiting birds or i think it was just supposed to happen at some point all right they were all coming down know, these guys in bird costumes. Right. Down the alleyway. And then at some point, they were all going to lean over and just projectile vomit on people in the audience. I mean, not real vomit, obviously, but with those, you know, SNL type, you know, things. Which is still gross. Yeah. To have that. It's still gross, but.

Not when it's birds. But in the context of a bird parade come on right yeah that's just like fireworks on the 4th of July it's what you expect with mostly a plant diet it's not that bad but there was some like huge malfunction

and those were basically and then the birds leaned over and like nothing came out like this I don't know whoever's he's doing special effects there was some kind of you know he's like pumping away or something oh no what's going on and like just like a trickle like of stuff came out and i was like oh my god that's just total and and then in like editing we were just able to put enough together that somewhat salvaged it but like in my mind it was going to be like you know exorcist gushing projectile people and instead it was just

like a you know yeah a slow trickle look a line of coughing birds yes like a mildly dyspeptic bird parade he's got hiccups can you okay so we kind of glossed over this but what was the kids episode what was the backstory of that we were trying new things like in those days like just you know for the hell of it i don't know there was one week we did which was time travel time travel right for each each uh day that week they conan and andy were in a different time period. Like they were... Ancient Rome.

And then the next night, the Civil War. Right. And then this idea was just, let's do a show for an audience entirely of kids. And what would that... Kids show. What would the show be? Right.

As if our sensibility wasn't childish enough. Right. Yeah, we had to dial it down like by two years. Right. Hey, these kids will love Baghead. Right. We, yeah, we had to dial it down like by two years. Right. Hey, these kids will love baghead. Right. Did the kids like it?

Did the kids like it? I think they, yeah, I think they liked it. Yeah. Yeah. It kept them entertained enough. My memory is no one remembered.

I mean, no one anticipated them getting that restless that quickly. And yeah. And then it was just coded out there and we're all like oh all right good luck right that's when he started string dancing 28 minutes to go because there were no parents right in the audience like we just had no parents they were like maybe watching from the green room or something but but the great thing was and i oh my maybe you remember his name i think the second or third guest was like an nbc economics correspondent did we purposely book someone really dry yes and conan totally committed to it and they had this really straight dry

interview and the kids i think the kids booed through the yeah they just booed through the whole i'm sure the boredom monster right right it was coming out a lot then yeah yes yeah it was fun to do these like weird things once in a while it was a kind of a pain usually to you know is but good to get out of the rut, I think. Do you remember you were going to, I think you announced you were going to leave the show and you're coming out to LA to work on a sitcom. So the head writer, Jonathan Groff, started the search for someone to take your place.

Yeah, I've heard that this is a legendary story, but I'd like to hear Brian tell it. Yeah, okay. I'll try to do it justice. But yeah, I hadn't been hired by a sitcom or anything Yeah. Okay. I'll try to do it justice. But yeah, I hadn't been hired by a sitcom or anything at that time. I was just leaving. I didn't know what I was going to do.

But, you know, I was just like. Oh, wow. Kind of feeling, you know. You were like anything but this. Right. No, I don't know. It was still great. But I was sort of like, you know, I felt like I'd done a lot. And so the search had begun.

And I decided to see if I could get hired again. I mean, part of it was like, how much of it is this random? Like when you get hired or have I gotten worse? Right. Like, you know, maybe I'm not as funny. Like maybe I'm, you know, maybe I've gone downhill. Maybe not. Or it'd just be interesting experiment to see if

i could get hired again so i wrote another application like i wrote a bunch of new sketches some of them were ideas that maybe i had had before you know while working on the show that never did anything with like maybe they were too weird or right or maybe like you know too annoying to produce or something like that you know so i never like proposed them actually but yeah but i wrote you know a bunch of new sketches and i had um now i just needed a front right you know to hand it in so you submitted those to the conan show but what was the front the front okay the front was a roommate of a friend of mine from high school named named hank flynn okay who was like he was kind of uh i think he's he he's like a car you know he's an on-air reporter in philadelphia tv station or something now but

he he did some stand-up at the time like some performance already stand up so he kind So he wasn't completely from left field where it wasn't like a shoe salesman. He was doing some entertainment-y comedy stuff. But he was a roommate of a friend of mine from high school. And so he agreed to do it under his name and everything, Hank Flynn. And then I got Greg Cohen, put it one step farther from me, Greg Cohen, another writer on the show, writer on the show. Yeah, was gonna say that it was going through him that Hank was a friend of his or a friend of his friends or something like that. Okay, so I wrote the thing up, we propose, you know, we, we put it in everything. And then the process began. And then

it was like, Oh, like, finally, how's it going you know and it's like well we we're down to a few you know whatever but and like hank flynn's one of the uh he's on the short list one of the finalists this is great oh and then uh greg cohen started getting really nervous by the way he just started having second thoughts like are we gonna oh this is really bad like are we gonna get in big trouble actually as it when it got down to the very end we're like the two finalists i actually was brought in like like i guess groff and conan were like gave it to me like well you look at these what do you think oh to weigh in yeah i did not want to i didn't want to spoil the immaculate you know the experiment so i just played it very neutral i was like i don't know they're both you know it's a

toss-up to me you know because i didn't i didn't want to solely right you don't want to tip the scales yeah one i didn't i didn't want to i didn't want to sell it so i kind of stayed out of it it'd be like uh becoming a host of jeopardy yeah uh right but okay but then it was dragging on for a while and greg started getting really nervous yeah that's getting a little dicey yeah yeah and greg greg was just i was like just hold on a little more i forget like i had some some end game, Greg. But he just started getting more and more nervous, you know? And so they went for Hank Flint.

Right. And he came in for an interview and he did fine or whatever. And then, uh, but how did you know he would do well in the interview? Um, I don't know. I mean, I guess maybe I coached him a little bit,

but you know, it wasn't like, he just had to not be crazy. Yeah. He just had to, yeah. Not be too crazy and everything. I mean, I guess maybe I coached him a little bit, but, you know, it wasn't like. He just had to not be crazy. Exactly. He just had to, yeah, not be too crazy and everything. I think, I think like they liked his packet the best and everything. And also this guy was cool. He wasn't like, oh, can I actually get this job?

Do I get to work there? Well, I found out later, actually, from my friend that he actually was like, what i just should i take the job what if like i think he actually thought at some point maybe i can you know scan the scammer and like somehow if i do well in the interview i mean what's right wait so was he interviewed by jonathan groff and conan i don't i don't know if conan was in there but he probably probably did a phone thing or something with Conan. I'm not sure. But Conan was definitely on board with hiring him. Conan had read it too and everything like that. But okay, so I think initially when Hank got hired, I was going to have Hank come in and take the job and be weird basically and do all sorts of weird shit for the first week and just have all sorts of crazy stuff going on. Wait, your dream was for him to actually take the job? Yeah, just for like a week or so, come in. And then let the cat out of the bag, you know?

Oh, my God. Oh, man. So we pulled the plug early, and how we did pull the plug was I think John actually had all of us come into the room when he was going to call hank flynn to hire him i remember this part we were we were in a meeting uh-huh and i think you it came up naturally but i my memory is you said hey are you ever gonna hire someone to take my place he's like i'm funny you should say that. We settled on this guy, Hank Flynn.

Right. This is my memory of it. And none of you knew that this was all happening, right? No one knew any of this except for Greg Cohen. Yeah, yeah. So Groff goes, he goes, you know what? We're all here right now. Why don't I call him on speakerphone and offer him the job?

Oh, man. You know, it's always a big moment when you offer someone a job and so it seemed very spontaneous that was my memory of it and so he calls hank flynn and where all the writers are in his writer's room and it's like at like 9 30 at night and he puts him on speakerphone yeah although i i wonder i wonder how much was organic and how much did I press Groff to do it. Maybe a little of both. It worked out perfectly because I did have

Hank Flynn record the phone call. So I actually still have a tape of that phone call. Hello? Hey, I was trying to reach Hank Flynn. Hank? Yeah, Jonathan Groff calling from late night. Hello, Jonathan. How are you?

Good. How are you doing? Not bad, thanks. What's going on? We'd like to offer you a job. Really? Yeah. Wow. Nice, man. Thanks a lot. Yeah. Yeah, we liked your submission the best.

Well, thank you very much. I got out of a meeting with Conan O'Brien a while ago, and Brian Rich is actually the guy who's leaving, and he'd read through the package, too. Wow. Yours was the best one. Oh, Jesus. See everybody on speakerphone.

You just make me feel really good, man. I really appreciate that. Hang on one second. All right. Everybody on speakerphone. All right. Hey! Hey! Hey!

We're not even ready to shoot. The bad part is we're at 10 o'clock at night, which is indicative of the nightmare that is this job. But other than that, congratulations. You're racist. Thank you. Oh, Jesus. Jeff Ross is the producer.

I just talked to him, and I'll call you tomorrow with, like, more details about what you need to do. Okay, cool. Jonathan, actually, can I talk to just you and ask you a couple questions? Oh. What's up? Hey, I just wanted to ask you a couple questions. Sorry. I just, what hours do you guys usually work anyway?

We work like 10, 30, depends, to like now or later. Oh, really? Yeah, it's pretty grueling. Oh, all right. Because I got, it's just that I've got like, I'm sort of a regular on these open mic circuits, things that I like to do, and it would really hurt me if I had to give them up at all. You know, and that realistically, you're probably going to have to give them up

if you want to do this. I see. Just because it's kind of, you'll be here almost every night. The only exception would be, would be like Monday. Maybe we'd get out a little earlier on Fridays, but generally we're here until now or later. Right.

So what was- Three nights a week, sometimes four. What was Brian making when he left? I don't know. Just because I think that the work is really good. I think that the work is really good, you know? I think that the work is really good, and I just want to get, you know, what it's worth. Oh, you're not going to get more than that. Right.

Oh, okay. I mean, that's just sort of the way it works. Okay, I hear you. I don't want to hold you up. Why don't you and I talk up why don't we talk tomorrow ok well here's the thing I was watching I watched the show

a lot over the past week and you know some of it I liked a lot but other you know some of the other stuff that just wasn't I don't mean this personally at all but some of the other stuff that just really wasn, I don't mean this personally at all, but some of the other stuff that just really wasn't much payoff to it.

To be perfectly honest with you, I was watching The Daily Show today. Do you know that show? On Comedy Central. And I think that maybe that's more the place for me. You know what I mean? You know what, Jonathan, I really appreciate you thinking about me, and I really appreciate what you think about my work. But honestly, I really think that maybe Comedy Central is a better place for me.

Oh, okay. Is that something that you're going to do? Well, maybe. I mean, I don't really know anybody over there, but I think I might be able to swing a PA job over there. But, yeah. I mean, I just think it's more my speed, you know. But thank you very much.

Okay. Okay. Take care. Bye. Oh'll take care. Bye. Oh, my God. So do you remember, did I reveal what's happening right then? Yes. I did.

Okay. That's good. Brock probably didn't believe me at first, right? We couldn't believe you would sit down and write a new submission. Go to so much work. Yeah. Right. believe you would sit down and write a new submission go to so much work yeah knowing how how hard it was to get me to write anything when i was actually being paid for it right we were just like oh all that extra work

what what was he thinking yeah no everyone was stunned it was a great and did people react well then once they knew okay oh, good. Oh, yeah. No. Yeah. Just so you would pull that all off. I know. It's unbelievable. We were like, well, wait, well, who's that guy on the phone?

And you're like, he's a friend of my, you know, a roommate of a friend of mine. And just all the steps that went into setting up this phone call that night, everyone was kind of it was blown away and then i think we we kind of reproduced it for conan with like i think we didn't tell conan what happened so there was another phone call where groth and i were in conan's office and i think groth got conan to have a conversation with the guy oh with hank i didn't try to convince him to come aboard or maybe groth act like he hadn't told. So I think Hank did kind of a repeat performance for Conan. Oh, wow.

Let Conan get a gut punch of this guy rejecting him as well. Oh, my God. And then, of course, then, you know, Conan got his revenge on me. Yes, your last night. Right. Oh, yeah. So what happened? It was your last night on the show.

And I went to Groff and Conan, and we came up with this idea where, because back then, sometimes Conan, if a writer was leaving, he'd say kind of a send off like, oh, you know, so-and-so's moving on, da-da-da-da. So we're like, oh, what if he does that for Brian's last show at the end of the show and says, you know what? He's so great. let's bring him out and we bring out hank flynn so we snuck hank flynn into the into the building and i was worried you were gonna see him during the show but luckily you're up in uh your office so i i don't know what you thought when you saw that because conan goes you know there's a writer's been here let's bring him out brian Rich. And then, then Hank Flynn walks out.

And were you watching from your office, Brian? Yeah. So I was upstairs and, you know, the writer's floor. And I think, you know, I guess the other writers knew it was going to happen because they all like, come on, you know, I think, you know, Conan's going to say something about you. You got to see this. So, so I was in there with a bunch. I think you were probably there, Sween i think it was yeah i was there yeah it was that that office you who was in there you and kyle and brian kyley yeah kyley you know conan starts with his spiel like you know this

writer leaving and i'm all like i've been getting the warm fuzzies like oh this is so sweet he's saying something about me brian rich come on out here b, Brian. And Tank Flynn comes out. And I was like, what? I was like, I was like, really, I was really upset. Because I was like, oh, my God, everyone who ever, who I ever told I write for this show or whatever, like, they're gonna see this and be like, that isn't the same Brian Rich. Like, it's a completely different guy. Oh, wow. So I was just, I don't know. I was just definitely, yeah, it got me good. I was trying to get down to the sixth floor

and get up there and be like, no, no. Were you going to run out on the side? I was going to run out and ruin it so they couldn't air that or something. Yeah, I was going to run out there. Oh, wow. And people were like physically restraining me from getting to the stairwell and running down it. Like, we're gonna put a bag over your head, Brian.

You know what? No, here's what I now remember why I was upset. Why I was really upset was because at the end, Conan, in the interview, when he's talking to Hank a little, what's next for you? He said he was going to work, going to write for Suddenly Susan. That's right. And I was just like, no, that cannot stand. That could not be a worse fate for me. Yeah, that could not be my trajectory. Well, it did stand.

Yeah. And I did end up working for Suddenly Susan for many a year. Well, as long as Greg Cohen was, he had to feel great relief when it all came out. You got to have, you should have Greg Cohen on this. I know. And Hank Flynn. Well, then we started using him in sketches after that. He was in a lot of. Oh my God.

That's right. So we did, he did actually get on the show after that. Yeah. He'd act in like a lot of satellite tv channels and stuff that's right well thanks for doing this yeah one thing we do we always like to wrap up the show by asking people for a piece of advice if they have one oh just keep at it guys you'll get this podcasting thing down eventually seriously oh that's sweet uh sorry no yeah i mean um a piece of advice let's as somebody who has been hired on the conan show twice now for somebody out there who might want to get a job writing

in late night or you know have broad interests which interests, which, you know, you either have or you don't. So I don't know if that's advice, but I think you can, you know, find a way to use like everything that you ever learned in running for, you know, especially late night and sketch and something like that. That's like one of the things that's so great about it, you know, because you can just draw from anything you know or interested in and find a way to make that funny and get that across to people right that's a good one i don't know that we've covered that before but i think especially having specific interests and like the more specific or the more kind of detailed you can get into something that's gonna get you

a lot of comedy especially if it's something people aren't as familiar with. Yeah. And if you have a little, you know, a little knowledge that authenticity like kind of comes through in like a sketch or joke, like you just know, like even if the person getting the joke doesn't know that much about it, you can kind of sniff out like if the lingo and the, right. I don't know, the background seems legit or something you know yeah like all the research you did for pimp bot exactly that's right and your years as a pimp exactly i knew that would come in handy well thank you so much brian yeah yeah thank you oh thank you guys uh this i mean you're a legendary writer and it's really good to finally get to hash all these things out with you.

Yeah, it's good to finally meet you.