Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Todd Levin, Jordan Schlansky, Listener Questions

Episode Date: March 29, 2019

Conan writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell are joined by fellow Conan writer Todd Levin to talk about his experience working with drones and professional dancers for his sketch “Conan’s Mega Celebrity Dance-Off Challenge!”. Then, Conan Associate Producer Jordan Schlansky returns to share his thoughts on religion. Plus, Mike and Jessie answer some listener questions regarding Conan and Jordan’s banter, the decision of the Conan staff moving from New York to LA, and more.Conan’s Mega Celebrity Dance-Off Challenge! Video: https://teamcoco.com/video/conan-s-mega-celebrity-dance-off-challengeGot a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail] Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.

And now it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Yes, welcome. I'm Mike Sweeney. I'm Jessie Gaskell. And we're writers here on The Conan Show, and we are excited to talk to you every week and tell you about what's going on behind the scenes of The Conan Show. Yeah, peek behind the curtain. This is actually a dark week for the show. Right.

So we are pre-recording this. That sounds like something bad happened. Yes, that's true. Dark. It just means the show is not taping. Right. It's on hiatus. And so everyone is on vacation. So it's actually a happy week. Sometimes we're dark but working. Right.

And we call those gray weeks. Yes, we call them gray. But this is a full dark hiatus. Full dark. So what are you doing? Well, hopefully. You're a week off. Yeah, I'm going on a

road trip oh yeah i love to see some wildflowers okay yeah they're blooming this year uh yes in the desert super bloom i know if there's still any left because all the instagram influencers are trampling them that's what i've read yeah so i'll hopefully there will still be some they've actually banned people from certain parks because the porta potties are out of control, which I think would only lead to more flowers. That's true. It's fertilizer. You know, they can run their park the way they wish. We are an awful species.

Yes. So you're going to see wildflowers. Yeah. What about you? Me? I'm going to go to Santa Barbara. Oh, yeah. That's right.

I love it up there you you guys always do something nice we do we like to travel travelers yeah and it's so that's an obvious quick road trip california it's really a bounty i love it here it's not like trying to go to hudson valley oh wow it's just like Central Park, only I had to drive three hours. Here... I like the Hudson Valley. Yeah, the Hudson Valley's nice. But I don't... Yeah. I don't get to go very often. Here you could be like being in the desert.

That's true. I love the desert more. Yeah, desert's great. Anyway, welcome to our travel podcast. But yeah, so when the show is on hiatus, people kind of disperse. But we pre-recorded some gems for you. Yes. We did not want to leave you all hanging. We did not fall down on the job.

So on this episode, we're going to talk to one of our writers, Todd Levin. Todd Levin about his sketch. It's a writer regret that may or may not have a happy ending. And then we're going to talk to Jordan Schlansky, the infamous Jordan Schlansky, about religion and what he believes in or doesn't. If he's really religious, that's scary because he could probably just start quoting reams and reams from the Bible. Oh, God, that's right. Which that could be, maybe we shouldn't talk to him. Might tune out for that. Maybe we don't ask him about religion.

But he probably believes in like a Klingon religion or something. Or just anything with Star Wars. I don't. Yes. Yeah, I think he believes in the Force. And then we're going to answer some listener questions. Yes. They've already been coming in.

That's great. We love it. It's so fun. So, let's get right to Todd. Hello. Todd, welcome to the show. Hi, Todd. Great to be here.

Nice to see you both. Yeah, you too. For the first time. Todd is a writer on the show. He... And very funny. I take a lot of swings. But I would say they generally pay off.

You get a lot of hits. Yeah. Very high percentage. I don't know if you lot of hits. Yeah. Very high percentage. I don't know if you strike out ever. No. Basically. No. You do have a sketch that has now been at rehearsal.

How many times have we rehearsed it? We've probably, we've rehearsed it four times. Four times. But it's been revised three. Okay. Yeah. I think that's how it's been. But it's been rehearsed four times.

And no, no, I'm going to say it's been revised four because every time you rehearse something, it continues to get revised, even if it was fine and ready to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It will not be left alone. Oh, what's that over there? Change it. It's gray hair. Yeah, yeah.

It's called Celebrity Dance-Off. That's right. I think the way it's presented, it's called, what is it called? Conan's like super mega celebrity dance-off challenge or something like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm just going off what it's on the rundown. Even the title's changing.

Nothing stays the same. But the premise is, I'll say it, it pokes light fun at the current trend of incorporating like a celebrity game or some sort of big celebrity showdown into late night shows. Right. That's correct. Yeah. And also how you see drone footage everywhere now on everything. At least every documentary I've been watching on HBO. Yes.

Just tons and tons of. Yes. Drones are being used a lot. But so the joke of it. Yes. Just tons and tons of, yes. Drones are being used a lot. But so the joke of it, the joke is that we got these amazing celebrities, but we filmed them using drone footage. So you don't, it's too far away.

Yeah. Right. Cause we had the, the, the idea is that the piece is presented by a sponsor and that sponsor is a company that makes cinematography drones. Yeah. So we had to film that makes cinematography drones. Yeah. So we had to film the whole thing using drones.

So it's like, yeah, you can't see that. So it's a bird's eye view of everything. Yes. Yeah. Like from 200 feet away. Yeah. Which also factors well into our inability to book big celebrities. That was also part of it.

I think this show more than any other has come up with creative ways to pretend we have celebrities. That was also part of it. I think this show more than any other has come up with creative ways to pretend we have celebrities. Yes. Like we'll say that they're in a box. They're shot from behind. Yes. Or with a blurry camera. Yes.

Or a Halloween costume walking across. Yes. So it's a really brilliant combination of it's sort of a commentary on a place we're at right now, culturally, and it's also within our abilities of production. Well, now it actually looked like it was probably hard to shoot because were you working with? Yeah, it's weird. I've never, I've never shot anything principally with drones before. Right. And the drone operator, Chris Millard, who's on staff, had a lot of rules for me about airspace and how high we could go and what we were licensed to do.

Where did you have to film it? Because you can only do that in certain parts of Burbank, right? Yeah, we shot it in a park. I can't remember what the name of the park is, but we shot it in some park in Burbank. I wanted a big open stretch of meadow so that there wouldn't be any buildings or anything. No distractions. Yeah, blank canvas.

And we put a tiny little stage in the middle of that meadow. That was the dance stage. So there are all these regulations. And then also there are two people who have to operate the drone camera. One person does like the flight pattern and the other person moves the camera around. Oh my gosh. Yeah, so it's kind of a whole thing. So we had to keep going through it. Oh, the other thing is because I'm

I had to stand like 300 feet away from all the actors. So you can't be in the shot. Yeah. Yeah. So I had to yell everything through a bullhorn and even then they could start dancing. Keep going. There are these three dancers that we had who are just, they're like professional dancers.

Yeah. But I had this idea that I wanted them to get waved in like as a special surprise. And I thought it would be really funny if that the time it took them to get to the stage was really long. So you had to see these three tiny little guys running the stage. But we had to do it over and over and over again and they had to be really really far away and keep running to stage and then do their dance routine on stage and they were not they were not cut out for it like they had they just get winded by the time yeah yeah oh wow and is any of that running in the current uh the part that was the hardest to do like a half a second of it. Of course. Always the hardest thing to grab.

Sometimes when you're shooting something that's, the part that's the hardest to actually grab, you're like, okay, this will never be. Oh yeah. And the thing that you fight the hardest for. Yes. You're like, it can't work without this. Anything you're precious about.

Yes. Yeah. And the piece itself is, I think one of the reasons it had to be rehearsed so many times is it is a problematic piece because it is what Conan will sometimes call an audience fuck you. Which we do a lot of those. What I mean by that is the piece is designed to create a certain expectation in the viewer and then come very short of it. The joke is the disappointment of it. It's supposed to be Idris Elba

dancing and then it's drone footage. Yes. We pitch this a lot I think. We do pitch a lot of fuck you's. Were the dancers, was the dancer like, you know, I've really thought about Idris Elba and how he's going to dance and you're like, we're shooting you from 300 feet away.

I mean, those guys kind of knew it was up. The people, again, I felt sorry for were the professional dance crew we hired. Yeah. Because they had choreographed a routine. They used music. Yeah. There was a whole thing where I wanted to pretend that they were the, what was the group? The Jabberwockies.

Okay. I wanted to pretend that that's who it was. And they were like, oh, we can't do that because that would be, there's like a code amongst like dance crews. And we, you know, we couldn't pretend to be the Jabberwockies. Yeah, that would be uncool. I mean, once they see our moves, they'll know we were. Our patented moves. Again.

Don't worry. Yeah. No one's going to see your moves. Yeah. They're just going to see a lot of movement. Yeah, I mean, because that is what it ends up... You barely can even tell that it's... Yeah. So it's a hard piece because

it's very... I'm very worried about it, even though it's going to be on the show because it is one of those things that I feel like on paper is really funny. It's like a funny concept, but it's really hard to make it appealing when every step of it is a fuck you. It's really funny. It's like a funny concept, but it's really hard to make it appealing when every step of it is a fuck you. It's designed to disappoint you.

To disappoint you. But it's got new twists and turns as it goes. I found new ways to bum people out as we went along. Yeah, but they're good. I like them. I like all of them. Is there anything that you wish you'd, just in the shooting of it, would have done differently? Now that you have a bird's eye view of the whole thing?

Nice. I know. Yeah, that was good. I'm sorry. I didn't get credit for that. Well, I'll get credit. No, now it's too much credit. Let's just talk about that.

Embarrassing. Where did you, had you been thinking of saying that? You knew I was going to be talking about that sketch. It really just occurred to me as I started the sentence. So it happened organically. It did, yeah. Okay. I see birds. All the better. But I have to think that some of my training led me to that.

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. That is what our training is for. No, there was no, I don't even know. I don't know. I mean, I wish that I could have gotten the guys to wear Jabberwockies masks. That's one thing. What are the Jabberwockies masks?

I'm not familiar with this group. They all wear these white kind of featureless plastic masks. Oh, okay. That cover their faces. I don't really know why. You know a lot more cool things than most of the rest of us know.

They're not that, I mean, they have a show in Vegas. I was pretending I knew a Chad, the Jabberwockies. I knew you didn us know. They're not that... I mean, they have a show in Vegas. I was pretending I knew what the Jabberwockies were. I knew you didn't know. I have no idea. They're a street dance crew. I don't even know what Vegas is. Well, good luck

today, Todd. We're rooting for you. Todd, we're really rooting for you. We'll see. We'd love to see your content. And we have another success story. Holy cow. This is great. Writer's regret turned to writer's triumph.

Revenge. I would call it writer's relief. Writer's relief. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. It's time for the Conan Mega Celebrity Dance-Off Challenge. Kate Winslet versus Idris Elba. Presented by Falcon Eye Ultra Vertical Drone Cameras. The drone dance-off sketch aired.

It did air. I don't really, I don't remember how it did. I think it did fine. I thought it did well. Well, what I remember was in the beginning, there was kind of a sense of people going, wait a second here, because there was a lot of fanfare at the top of it. And it's like introducing these two celebrities. And I think there really were legitimate expectations.

Idris Elba, look at him. He looks sexy. He has the moves to back it up. There's a combo and a super combo. Incredible. Let's see an instant replay. Instant replay. Yeah.

Pretty amazing. I think it took a second for people to realize what the fuck you was. Right. Yeah. But then I think once they did, they were on board. Yeah. Does that make sense? I think that's kind of how it went.

They all collectively said, our self-worth is a little diminished, but we'll go along with it. Yes. Lick our wounds up later. Yep. Right now, we'll just enjoy the ride. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I was happy. Mission accomplished.

Yeah. Slot filled. Slot filled. Todd, we want to reward you with this congratulatory sound effect. Oh. That felt pretty good. Yeah. That's about what I think it deserves.

That's right. At that weak volume. In the grand scheme of things, I think that's exactly what it deserved. Well, the next time you write something, think about that. Yeah. To delay the sound cue. Let that motivate you. That's right.

To really spur you on. I may earn another delayed sound cue. Put that over your computer. Well, congrats, Todd. Yes, Todd. I'm glad that worked out. Thank you. And we'll talk to you soon.

And now. Oh, boy. Buckle up. It's time for more fun with Jordan Schlansky. Jordan, how are you? Hello. I'm fine. Thank you.

Good. You know, we've done other segments with you. And frankly, it's amazing. You're like a stallion bursting out of a barn and you're off gallivanting verbally. But there are time restrictions here. So we love talking to you, but we thought we'd try to maybe try to rein things in a little bit. I like that you continued with the horse. Thank you very much. Yes.

Reign them in, but we don't want to blinker you. So we have a kitchen egg timer. We're just going to set for two minutes. Okay. Yeah. Now, what is the average length of We're just going to set for two minutes, okay? Yeah. Now, what is the average length of time that a guest normally speaks for on this show? Jordan, I'll answer all those questions later. Right now, I'm setting the timer for two minutes.

There's also an implication that a large amount of time is detrimental. How do we know that it's not advantageous? I don't understand why you associate speaking for a long duration to be disadvantageous. Not disadvantageous at all. It's just that we're limited to 37 minutes roughly for this podcast. And so those are parameters we have to live with. So how many minutes of those do you guys get of the 37? I think it comes out to like 28. You've assigned me two.

So there's 35 remaining. Yeah. Yeah. This is, this is. And there are some ads. I think. There's probably what, two, four minutes of ads? We have.

Two to four minutes of ads. We just added Cartier as a sponsor. And that's a two minute ad. Well, I think. Mercedes Benz. and that's a two-minute ad. Well, I think what we've... Mercedes-Benz. We've just figured out that it's about two minutes in that we both kind of started zoning out during some of our previous talks with you. Right.

So... So you're looking for a diagnosis of your attention span? Because now you've got a timer, so that's a very precise measuring device. So that tells me that you've got this all planned out very precisely. You've measured the amount of time available and broken it up. We see the game you're playing here. We see the game you're playing here. So you're looking for me to hit two minutes. Is that equivalent to

what other guests get on the show? No, everyone else gets 90 seconds. So because you're one of our favorites, we're being generous. That's true. And we have had you on more frequently than other guests. Yes. Yeah, so we're trying to be fair to our guests. So now you're looking at this on a seasonal basis.

So in a given season, how many minutes do I get versus some of the other guests? And I'll go as far as to say I don't need more time. I'm just so curious why you place such an emphasis on the amount of time. Have we hit the two minutes yet, Mike? This thing doesn't work. I think our time is up. We'll add the buzzer. And that was it. That was it. Chois de vie with Jordan.

No, let's really, let's Okay, here we go. We have burning questions for you, Jordan. I'm going to ask you a question. Ready? Yeah. Are you religious? I'm a spiritual man, but I put no trust in a faith that is ready-made. I believe that you can custom tailor your spirituality based on your own experience and your own belief system and don't need to compromise certain beliefs of yours to fit a template that has been created by someone else.

That was 28 seconds. Now, how am I supposed to react to the timer? Am I supposed to adjust the rhythm of my speech? I can adjust the quantity or the rhythm. I could say the same amount of words in a faster or slower pace, or I could say fewer words at the same pace. Which do you prefer? That's up to you. But I don't know.

You might find this beneficial just in general. Maybe you're going to want someone to follow you with an egg timer from now on. It might be a good way to go. Here's another question for you. What do you like when you're drunk? Well, I don't find myself intoxicated often. I always find it surprising that people drink alcohol for the purpose of getting drunk. For me, it's really just a byproduct. I don't drink hard alcohol. I drink wine because I enjoy the wine. And I may admit that after a few glasses, I find myself with fewer inhibitions. But I wouldn't say I drink the wine with the intent of getting drunk. What am I like when I am uninhibited like that? I suppose I'm a little less guarded, a little less protected,

but I don't think you'd notice a significant difference. Do you get giggly? If something's funny. Much as when I'm not drinking. Yeah, okay. Do you get handsy? Do I start using my hands to touch other people?

Well, you know what handsy means. I'm clarifying. I may pat a man on the back more often than I would otherwise. For example, if you're sitting beside me at the table and we're enjoying ourselves, I may look over and pat you on the back. I'll be right there. Okay. That's our time. That is our time.

One more question. Do you have advice for people who dream of becoming associate producers? Well, this is general television production advice. I believe that it's important to put yourself in the environment that you're looking to work in. Even if you don't have a job in a certain area, there are internships and there are other ways to put yourself physically in that environment because inevitably when a position opens up, you'll be in the right place at the right time. You see, we talk about chance, and we talk about accidents in life. And there is a certain element of chance to life. However, if you put yourself, if you engineer your circumstances, you put yourself in the right place at the right time, suddenly,

the odds have changed, and they have tipped in your favor. But what specific training do you think people need to associate produce? Well, I think that good judgment, resources, and problem-solving skills are the most valuable qualities that one can have in any element of television production. Really any job in general? Sure. I'd argue that as a human being interacting with other human beings, I'd also put high value on those concepts. What is a problem that you've solved recently? As an example for a young associate producer aspiring.

Well, at this moment, I've just come from choosing repeats for our upcoming hiatus week. Now, that's a task that I've completed. You may call it a problem. The problem was that there were no repeats picks. The solution was I picked those repeats. Okay. You picked the repeats. So anything that's repeated for

this show is picked by you. There's a consultation involved, but certainly I am... I would say I'm the conductor of the symphony. Okay, because there are orchestra members that blow their horns. And you wave your hands. And you bow their strings.

Yes, I coordinate them. I assemble them. So you work with 40 other people to pick the reruns? There are fewer than 40. Okay. Just a handful. All right. Yeah.

What are the criteria for choosing a rerun? Well, you want a good show, certainly. You want a show that did well. You look at the show and you're talking about elements of comedy and you're looking elements of guest appearances and you want both those things to do well and bear. You see, there are only a few repeat slots available and there are many more shows than there are repeat slots. So you clearly want to pick the most entertaining shows to put in those slots. Do you consider, do you balance comedy and guests?

What are your specific considerations? Yeah, again, it's going to depend on how many slots are open, given how many shows are available. But, you know, the fewer slots, the more selective you become. But yes, ideally, you want a show that fires on all cylinders, that has good comedy and good guests. Do you ever kind of lean heavily toward shows that you've appeared in to be repeats? Only if they're good. Because you would get residuals for that.

Is that right? I would. Going back to, is there any sort of required education that an associate producer needs to have? I don't think so. It's funny, television production. Doctorate studies? No, none of those things.

Television production to me is one of the fields think so. It's funny, television production studies. No, none of those things. A television production to me is one of the fields where the school that you went to is not so important. And, you know, certainly there are fields like investment banking, where education is important and looked at heavily. When we look at resumes, the school that was chosen is a very low importance and Ivy League school wouldn't necessarily give someone an advantage over a community college. If you get sick or have to go out of town, what happens? Is there someone who fills in for you? I've missed very few days over the decades that I've been working here.

But thanks to modern technology, I'm able to work remotely in situations that necessitate it. For example, by email and phone. Oh, so you could mostly do your job from home. I think a lot of us, the writers included, can do their job from home. No, that's not true. How do you figure? If you're incorporating conference calls and email, what are the limitations? It's very hands-on here.

Yeah, you have to be on the stage to run things. It requires seeing props in person and costumes and actors. Going to the commissary for lunch. You can't do that from home. And those are on days where a writer's particular bit is on the show or being rehearsed. And on a day where that bit is not being rehearsed or on the show, then that writer could work from home, potentially. Yeah, that's a good point.

Yeah, but there is something, there's a certain combustion to the group being together. Well, there's a certain combustion for me being here as well. I'm not saying it's necessary to complete the tasks. Right. Now, I'm concerned. Do you realize that you've admitted in this interview that as to a specific job you do here on the show, which heretofore, I think has been a total mystery. Okay. Are you comfortable with that?

Yes. Okay, good. It's kind of a scoop. I agree, yeah. You pick reruns for the show. He coordinates a group that I orchestrate. I orchestrate. So every five weeks you have something to do.

That's correct. Over email, over, over email. Well, that's interesting. Thank you, Jordan.

You know what? I'm glad we had more than two minutes with Jordan. Oh yeah. Yeah. The two minute thing went out the window, but no, this was, this was interesting. This was enlightening.

Thank you, Jordan. Thank you for having me. Bye. Hey, after this break, we are going to answer some of your questions. Yeah, your burning questions. Alright, we're going to answer some of your listener questions.

Thank you so much for sending them in. Here's the first one. Hi, this is Justin calling from New York City, and I've wanted to know, obviously you get this question a lot about Jordan Schlansky, is he real? Yes, and all that stuff. That's not the question I was going to ask, but what I was going to ask was how much of the banter between Conan and Jordan is off the cuff and how much of it is scripted? Bonus question. If you happen to ask Jordan this, uh, what makes him laugh aside from Conan's foolishness? Other than that,

I wish you best of luck on the show and break a leg. Take care. Bye. Thanks, Justin. Yeah, Justin, that we do get asked this question a lot because Jordan as an entity is just

inconceivable to the human brain. A lot of people assume he's a paid actor. Yes. And I can tell you the dialogue's a paid actor. Yes. And I can tell you, the dialogue is highly scripted. Yes. No actor and no writer is that good. No.

It's all real. I mean, all of the banter between them is real. We'll set up a scenario for them to enter, but it's usually pretty loose. We have no idea what's going to happen or what Jordan is going to say. No. And I mean,

how long he's going to take to say it. It's a long time. He just goes, we usually have a lot of tape ready. Yes. We, we have cameras and hours and hours of tape loaded up, but yeah,

I mean, follow him in whatever direction he goes. Yeah. When we went to japan uh we knew that they were going to have a kaiseki dinner right together which was a long ceremonial meal it's normally uh several hours and many many courses yes which is perfect yep and then we also knew that conan was going to present jordan with the uh video of ral of Ralph Macchio undermining all of Jordan's claims about Karate Kid 2. Right.

And that tape came through that afternoon. We got it on our phone and it came in just in the nick of time. We were very excited to have it. And I think it made the dinner really enjoyable for Conan because he knew he had that loaded up. That dessert. He just kind of let Jordan, and Jordan was had that loaded up. That dessert. He just kind of let Jordan, and Jordan was very aggressive with him.

He was. During that dinner. I know. Yeah, he came out swinging. Right. Which kind of helped raise the stakes and really helped motivate Conan kind of giving it to him between the eyes.

To undercut him. Yeah. Yeah, but I will say one thing in terms of what makes Jordan laugh. And if he were here. Bonus question. We'd ask. Yes. From what I've seen, Jordan really, like the times that he breaks when we're filming.

I know what you're going to say. It's scatological. All scatological. Yes. Anything related to poo or toilets. Yes. Or butt. If he was here right now,

he'd be in hysterics. Oh my God. He'd be crying. He'd be like, oh, I don't know. When you have too much to eat, some time passes.

Do you say, excuse me, I need to go to the men's room to make some human soil? Do you say, I have to go to the men's room to make feces? Look Do you say I have to go to the room to make pieces? Look,

he's losing it again. You're losing it again. Your eyebrows get crazy if you look insane. If you had human soil on your arm, would you be content to just wipe it off at the napkin and go about your day? And so people sometimes see that and think that that makes him human.

Right. But I don't disagree. No that that makes him human. Right. But I don't, I disagree. No, it makes him even less human. Yeah. This insane robot that has been programmed to laugh. That's been programmed. It watched a few videos from maybe Adam Sandler movies or something. Right.

And was like, this is what I laugh at. I like toilet humor. I don't know what else, I don't know if I've ever seen him laugh at anything else other than toilet humor. Yeah, it's really weird though. I mean, it's, it almost without fail will work on him. What is the bonus we get for answering the bonus question? Justin. Yeah. What's our annual bonus? Um, so let's move on to another question. Hey, Jesse and Mike, I've always wondered for those that made the jump was the move from New York to L.A. a no-brainer for many? Or did some have serious reservations about upending their lives and families' lives to stay with the show? And that's from Danny in Minneapolis.

Oh, well, thanks, Danny. Actually, that was a very difficult decision for many, many, many people on the staff. And several people decided to stay in New York. Some of them went on to work on other shows in Rockefeller Center. Some people did make the move out to L.A. And have, you know, for various family reasons, moved back to New York. Right. Yeah, it really, that's a giant life decision.

Yeah, it's, that's a giant life decision. Yeah, it's almost a cultural difference. Yeah, but it was very hard for people because so many people on our staff had and have been with the show for so many years that a lot of them had families. So, it wasn't just, hey, I'm single. I'm going to, sure, I'll move to LA. It was children in school. Yeah. Spouses that weren't with jobs yes and weren't super excited about it so it was yeah what was the conversation like in your house

no seriously we were in a good position where we'd both lived in New York City for 25 years we're like you know what we've definitely lived in New York City for 25 years. We're like, you know what? We've definitely lived in New York. Yeah. I feel like I've done everything you kind of want to do in New York. And let's try something new. Yeah. Yeah, so it all worked out. Do you think you'd ever move back?

My wife would love to move back to New York. Oh, really? I like it here. I'm having a great time here. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty nice. I mean, it's kind of everything you

could want. I still love New York. I love going every time I go back there. I would go somewhere different. A third place. Where? Please send in your suggestions. How about Minneapolis where Danny lives? I love Minneapolis.

I'm going to be there in a month to see my brother-in-law. But yes, any place other than Minneapolis, send in your suggestions, and I will consider moving there. Maybe by April, I'll move. And we'll do this long distance. I'd love to. Okay. Let's take another one. Here we go.

Hello, Mike and Jesse! Exclamation mark. Oh. Really enjoying the podcast! Okay, now it's too much. Sorry, I just want to get this person's emotions across. From watching behind-the-scenes clips and seeing things like employees with liquor bottles in their desks, or people watching TV at the office, or whatever is going on in Jordan Schlansky's office, I was curious what orientation

looks like for new employees, how you let them know what's acceptable and what crosses the line. Follow-up question, aka bonus question, how do I get my workplace to allow these things? Thanks a lot. And it's- Oh, it's from Andrew. Oh, Andrew. Thank you, Andrew. Well. Wow. I do know that there's zero orientation.

Zero. Like some people, there are people who have been here like five months and they haven't even met everyone else who works here. I just assume they work here because I see them around. Right. But no one's ever actually introduced me to that person. No, it's awkward. They could be just infiltrating. Terrible. I think you could,

honestly, if you wanted to work on our show, you could just start showing up. Yes. And people would assume you work here. After a week, it'd be like, I don't know, I'm not sure what he does.

But he makes great coffee. He's probably someone's assistant and he's here to stay. Yeah. No, there's zero orientation. There's no, you don't, I still have a hard time

understanding what our hierarchy is yes um it's very fluid it's very fluid right i don't know who's who sort of whose opinion would trump someone else's um so i just try to please everyone all at once and it never works oh uh you could go the complete opposite way and just not not take anyone's. And try to annoy everybody. Yeah. Instead of pleasing. Maybe that is actually what I do. I don't know.

I want to see. Yeah, I think that's a good way to go. See how that goes. But yeah, there's no. And then there are even still things about the show that five years in, I don't fully understand. Yeah. The process for it. There's no.

There's literally nothing like human uh what is it human resources yeah oh no there's no hr no no hr um i don't know who we would report to if something was it's the wild west in this this office yeah it is um goes i know so it's incredible that we've all lasted this long andrew i think the way to bring this kind of lawlessness and recklessness to your office is to show by example. So, start drinking at work while watching television. Yeah. And. Dare them to fire you.

Right. Be a leader, not a follower. And when you get fired, you can just start showing up around our offices. And we'll assume you work here. Right. You won't get paid, but we will kind of shrug when you walk by and go, I guess this guy.

I think that guy works in props. I heard someone call him Andrew. Yeah. Hey, thanks for your great questions. Yeah, those were great. Yeah, it was fun. We want to hear more, so please call us. The number's

323-209-5303. It's a voicemail. Neither of us is going to actually answer. No. So don't expect that. Well, I might answer. You might answer, maybe on the hiatus week. So lonely. Or you can email us at InsideConanPod

at gmail.com. So we'd love to hear from you. That's it for this week's show. And we promise to be back next week. Yes. I mean, who knows what could happen. You're devoured by wildflowers. Well, if the world is still here next week, we'll be here.

Yes. Who knows what's happening out there. I'm not going to read the news for a week. That's what I'm definitely not doing. here. Yes. Who knows what's happening out there. I'm not going to read the news for a week. That's what I'm definitely not doing. What a turn this has taken. I know.

That's what I'm doing. I'm taking, I'm going to take a media break. All right. Good for you. Yeah, sure. Okay.

Anyway, we'll see you next week. Okay, bye. We like you. Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast, is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jesse Gaskell. Produced by Julia Smith and Kevin Bartelt. Engineered by Will Beckton. Mixed by Ryan Connor.

Supervising producer is Aaron Blair. Executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. And Colin Anderson. And Chris Bannon at Earwolf. Thanks to Jimmy Vivino for our theme music and interstitials. You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts. And of course, please subscribe and tell a friend to listen to Inside Conan on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, or whatever platform you like best. This has been a Team Coco

production in association with Earwolf.