Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Vanessa Bayer Revisits Her Summer at Late Night

Episode Date: January 21, 2022

Vanessa Bayer joins writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to discuss her experience as a Late Night intern, the power of the 30 Rock security pass, getting salon advice from curly-haired Conan employees, and her appearance as an extra in a Late Night sketch. Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail] Vanessa’s appearance as an extra here on Team Coco’s YouTube.

And now, it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hello, welcome once again to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Yes, it is. Still, I'm Jessie Jesse Gaskell and this is Mike Sweeney. Hello. We are writers on the Conan show. Well, former writers and maybe future. Yes. And that's still holding out hope. I think that's how we got picked to host this podcast. I think that was part of it. We season, we're exploring the arc of Conan's late night career. That's right.

And we're up to, I don't know. The middle, somewhere. Somewhere in there, in the aughts. We're rounding the end of the first Conan variant right now. Exactly. So have you been? As you mentioned last week, you are off somewhere. Yes.

Location undisclosed. I'm on assignment. You're doing punch up for a movie. It's so exciting. Yeah, I know. It's really fun. I'm really enjoying it. And I'm glad because I had had this on my vision board for a long time.

You mentioned that. I think it's a perfect job for you because you're so funny and you're so quick. And what an asset to have on a movie set. Thanks. And I'm good at eating craft services. Craft food. I don't complain. You're waiting for like, when are the desserts going out? And so you're literally, can you describe the job a little bit? Um, yeah. I mean, I'm there for filming every day and it's, it's long hours with a film shoot. It's just so much, there are so many more angles, camera angles, camera angles. Yes. But I think I mentioned with,

you know, when we were filming things for Conan, it was like usually you had an hour and a half before it had to be done and edited and ready to roll. So you were just kind of quickly getting, it was like, oh, we got two cameras, we'll get one angle, the reverse angle, and then you go to edit and then you slap it together and hope for the best. I mean, a lot of times we'd be rushing in to the monologue meeting, literally 10 minutes before the show would start. And it'd be like, okay, we just got the tape. Let's watch it. And we'd watch it on a monitor in his dressing room. Yeah.

And decide whether it was going to go on the show that night. So it was pretty whiz-bang. And then I would just be sitting, I would be like, I can't listen listen to whether whether they're laughing or not so i would have to just wait for the word yep but yeah movie is kind of the opposite of that because you have a lot more money and a lot more time and a lot more people just kind of involved in the process so right with their own job like lighting and continuity and oh gosh yes all that stuff adds up so many different and you know and everyone's really at the top of their game but it is impressive to see like oh wow this looks this

looks beautiful right and that's not even necessarily the point of the movie because it's a comedy. Right, right. Oh, but I did. You mentioned continuity. And I did have a fun moment last week where I got to point out a coffee cup on screen. Oh, my God. I know. That's a Game of Thrones moment.

It was like a bingo, too, because it was a coffee cup with a mask draped over it. So it was like... Oh, wow. Yeah, it was a coffee cup with a with a mask draped over it so it was like oh wow yeah it was double and i it would have just been so fun if that ended up in the movie but and no one else caught it i i pointed it out someone would have probably caught it eventually but so so now whosever job that is hates you now yeah i was about She's coming for me. Right. I'll get you, Gaskell. But yeah, so I'm here for another four weeks. Wow. Wow. I thought maybe we could play a little game.

Yeah. And I can drop some hits while I'm here. Oh, as to where you are. A little bit like where in the world is Carmen Sandiego. Yeah. Yes, that would be great. Because I know you had to sign all this paperwork where you're not allowed. But I guess there's nothing in there about hinting.

They didn't specifically say I can't hint on my podcast about where I am. All right, good. So I'm assuming that means I'm not a lawyer, but. Oh, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's totally illegal on the board. So give us a hint. Okay.

Well, okay. The hint, I'll start kind of vague here. I'm in a place that used to be a monarchy. Okay. Well, okay. The hint, I'll start kind of vague here. I'm in a place that used to be a monarchy. Okay. That's a good first hint. It's pretty broad. Yeah. The United States. There's a lot. Yeah. It could be the United States. It could be. All right. Chew on that.

But it means it's not currently a monarchy too, so. Right. Yeah. That could be one of many, many. I mean, you know the answer, means it's not currently a monarchy too so right hmm yeah that could be one of many so it's i do know the answer i'm not gonna say boo i'm not violating your contract no you are a lawyer former attorney but a lawyer forever right isn't that the distinction yeah i really went to law school you know i literally the air just came out of my just i'm so sorry well no to me it's like saying oh you were an ex-convict right you did time you did you did time in federal prison it's a mark it's a mark against my name oh no yeah yeah wait we're really getting off the mark here okay uh wait we had some exciting news this week oh we have really exciting news writers of conan were nominated for writer's guild award yeah for the the final season for

our final season so i think that's great it It is great. I love the Writers Guild Awards. I always think that it's really special to be nominated by other writers because we're so cynical and we don't like to give it up. Right. And the other nice thing is our head writer, Matt O'Brien, picks specific sketches to send in. Yes. And supposedly the nominations are based on what we send in, which is also really, so it's not like, I hope it's not like a popularity contest.

It's more like, Oh, I'm sure it's not. If we got nominated. Definitely not. Definitely not. What am I saying? We read what you submitted and you know,

we like it that much that we're nominating you. So it's a good. Yeah, I know it does. It feels sort of legitimate in a way, not like the Golden Globes. Ugh. Those aren't even televised.

Yeah. What's the... I mean, they're just on their way out, right? There's no... I don't know. They're not going to be televised and who even cares. They might pull a comeback.

Okay. We're going to see. Our country might demand more televised award shows in the coming years. Well, hey, we do. We have a great guest this week. I loved talking to her. We're speaking with the great Vanessa Bayer, hilarious SNL alum and Emmy-nominated actress, writer.

She also started as a Conan intern. She's in that club a Conan intern. Yes. She's in that club, the intern to fame pipeline. I know. I'm always amazed at the volume of stars who started out getting coffee on our show for people. I know. It really makes me think I should have just been an intern. We both did it all wrong. Taking the fast track.

Yes, to stardom. We both did it all wrong. Taking the fast track. Yes, to stardom. So here's Vanessa Bayer. Maybe we'll start with your internship at Conan. Were you a fan of Conan going into that internship? Yes, I was definitely a fan and I was really excited when I got the job. I was going into my senior year of college. So it was 2003. Yeah, I was a fan and I was just thrilled. I don't think we've ever asked anybody, how do you get an internship? Or how did you at that time? What was the process? Well, to be honest with you, it was really hard to get an internship. And so like, I didn't have any like connections or anything like that, but yeah, I sort of assumed it was always someone's

dad got it for them. Yeah. I didn't have any, like, you know, love my family, but they didn't, we were from Cleveland, so not a ton of showbiz connections. No help at all. Yeah. What is a Conan? So I met someone at college who told me that, I don't know, her mom somehow had some kind of connection or something to Conan. And so I was like, oh my God, I would love to intern there. So she helped me get the interview. And then I got the interview and I'd like to think that's why I got it. But anyways, but then I told my friend whose mom was a huge publicist and she like told Jeff Ross to like, like, I think like once I told him it was like, you know what I mean? Like it just, I just sort of got lucky that I knew these people in college

that sort of helped me along. Again, I would like to think my interview, but. Absolutely your interview. I think if I had been like a total lunatic in my interview, then even those connections would have not worked. I think having a publicist call actually hurt you and you had a huge hurdle to overcome. Oh, thank you. Yes. Well, she was like a, she was like a power oh publicist like she was like uh the worst kind

i mean i love her because she helped me anyway but yes but uh were you so were you a fan of late night and conan then when when you applied yeah i was a fan i mean i i didn't watch a ton of other late night shows but i really loved loved Conan. And I, you know, the late night show I watched the most was probably Saturday Night Live, but other shows, I didn't stay up super late. We know you're contractually obligated to say that. Right, right, right. Yeah. But you were familiar with late night at least. Yes, totally. Totally. Yes. So did that, since you were going to school in Pennsylvania, I guess it was literally, it became almost like a full-time, was it a full-time internship?

Well, I did it over the summer. I did it over the summer. So it was, yeah. And actually the same summer I interned at Nickelodeon because I was really into children's television. You had two simultaneous internships? Two simultaneous internships. So I interned at Conan.

Oh, that's great. I think I interned at Conan three days a week and I interned at Nickelodeon two days a week. Wow. I was hoping you were like pulling a Mrs. Doubtfire in between and changing personalities. I don't know how I did that because the summer before I interned

at that network Oxygen and I interned at Sesame Street at the same time. I did the same thing where I did like a few days. I mean, I don't know how I was racking up these internships. I mean, Holy cow. You're an intern expert. We're going to have to have you rank, rank them. So were you, by the time it got to Conan, you're probably like, listen, this is how it's supposed to be done. Yeah. Let me tell you how it's done in Nickelodeon and oxygen. You've got three days to be done. Yeah. Let me tell you how it's done in Nickelodeon and Oxygen. You've got three days of my week.

Yeah. Wow. So when you came to Conan, did you get, usually interns are assigned, there's general interns, but then some go to specific departments. Did you work in a specific department? I did not. I was a general production intern. So I sat in that little area a lot. Near the reception area?

Near the reception area. And it's kind of you just waiting to be thrown. Waiting to get an assignment. Yes. Anywhere. Waiting for assignments, waiting to get assigned to dinner. Because I remember that was the big thing that like, if you were the intern, there are two interns that were picked to ask the writers what they want to order the writers dinners.

Right. that were picked to ask the writers what they want to order the writers dinners right and you went around to the writers and you like they you gave that they had like a menu and they like circled what they wanted and then if you were one of the interns who got to do that then you also got to order dinner for yourself oh yeah and that was huge so like it would be like really fancy dinners that i remember being like oh my god I can't believe they get these dinners to go. Like it would, you know what it'd be? It would be to me.

I'd only seen such dinners eaten at the restaurant. And now I'm remembering the detail that the writers would always throw their dinner up into the rafters. So they weren't even eating those fancy dinners. That was a brief period. I didn't know that. I don't know if that was happening when I was there. That would have broken my heart.

No, that, that, well, we, we got infested with mice. The entire building got mad at us. So we had to stop throwing food and also, you know, that only, and it's disgusting. That's only funny maybe twice. So we stopped. So did you get to do the dinner order very often? I got to do it a few times and And man, I loved it every time. I really... Sure. So many lobsters.

Because you could also, yeah, you could order whatever you wanted. You could order two apps, a dinner, two sides. Yeah, that's the whole week. I remember I never had any cavities before I worked at Conan because I used to drink soda from that big refrigerator. There was so much soda in there and I wasn't like a soda drinker, but then I was drinking soda like every day that I was there. You know, there were dinner scams that started. I'm sure this is after you were there, of course. Some people would start double ordering meal. One writer, I think, was ordering a double and then would take the other

one home and have it for lunch the next day. And then there turned out towards the end of a run at late night at NBC, I think there was an engineer or someone from a different floor who's, I don't know how, oh, he would come up. He knew there'd be all this leftover food and he would just come up and start grazing at the table. And scavenging. That would have been me if I had known about it. Yeah, you never have to pay for food again. Yeah. And I think the writers often could be spoiled. Like, were they difficult to deal with just trying to get their dinner order? Were they like, oh, I'm trying to write a joke. Do you want me to pick an entree? I'm trying to write a fart joke. In general, they were pretty nice about it. I feel like they were pretty... And also it was sort of in a fun way, a way to kind of like meet the

different writers. And I remember there were a lot of women and I don't know if they were writers, but there were a lot of women that had like higher up jobs there that were, um, that had curly hair. Like there were three women with curly hair and they told me to get my haircut at this place, Devishan. And they like,

they told me who to go to and stuff like there was stuff like that would happen when you were getting, that's the most useful show business advice you ever got. Yeah. You don't get that at a Nickelodeon. I asked them, i think because they had like the best hair at the time i was there summer of 2003 there were like three women allison silverman probably one of the writers yeah she has great curly well i have a separate

story about her okay but there were other women with longer curly hair and they had dark curly hair and they had everyone had the best curly hair okay and i was like what where do you get your and they all told me where to go they all went to the same place but anyways again it was this devishon salon that um cuts your hair while it's dry okay so that's that's the key revolutionary i hope they're still there yeah yeah i know you got a new sponsor there's a few of them and they have actually now they are so popular because their hair products are like you can get them at other places anyways they don't need my help they're doing great but oh

yeah allison i remember i asked her if she would meet with me because she was the only female writer at the time that i was there and she did and it was so fun and she was the only female writer at the time that I was there. And she did. And it was so fun. And she was so nice. Yeah. And I remember asking her if she felt, if she ever felt like she noticed it a lot, that she was the only female writer. And she said she really didn't like everyone respected her. And she said only if she wanted to write like a sketch about tampons or

something was like the only time she really noticed that she was the only one. And they were like, what's a tampon? Yeah. But she said overall, she was treated really well, which was nice to hear. That's great. Yeah. That is a relief. Upper lip is sweating. Everyone was treated gender neutral. Around that time, were you starting to think about wanting to be a comedy writer performer? Was that already something that was in the works for you? Yes. So I was, I talk about it so much and it's funny that it's coming up on this podcast,

but I was in this all female sketch comedy and musical parody troupe in college called bloomers, which still exists. And I did not start it, but anyways, it still exists. And I was really starting to, to love comedy and think that that's what I wanted to do for a career. And so it was really interesting for me to be interning at Conan and kind of see how the show came together. And then also not to keep taking it back to SNL. I want to give Conan it's due. I mean, that's, you know, that's where I got to intern everything, but like my security badge was the same badge that the pages had. Like it was like just that badge that said like non-staff or whatever. So I got to go kind of wherever I wanted with my badge. So on the weekends I would take friends. One time my cousins were in town

and we would just go to the SNL set and we would just walk around it. I remember sometimes they'd be giving tours like upstairs, they'd be giving giving tours like looking down and we're just like walking around the set and we'd like practice coming out of the doors like the host we would just like i'm from new york and i can't imagine that like that pass like that my security pass would do that today like i'm sure they caught onto it but i could get into the like i could whatever I wanted. I had sort of like free reign with that past. So it was really fun to get to see, you know, the sets of other shows too. They changed it and it was called the Vanessa Bayer rule. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great memory. I always thought the same thing is I used to tell people, once you're in the building, once you're past security, you could go anywhere. Yeah. You could

roam. Cause we were right above SNL and we'd roam down there or you could roam over to Rosie O'Donnell's show at the time. You just, yeah, no one cared. Yeah, you just had free reign. It was so amazing. You could just go wherever you wanted to go. Yeah. I remember seeing that stage and just being so...

It's funny because I think someone at Conan first showed me where that stage was, but like from the above, like from where you would take a tour. And then I was like, Oh, I can just go back here. There's a staircase. I'll just leave the door propped open.

I love that. So you kind of went down on your own and said, you know what? I'm not, I'm not going where the tours go. I'm going down where the performers are. Yeah. So I'm like on the stage. And so you went up on that stage and turned around and looked out. Multiple times with friends. That's great.

Yeah. I have pictures with my cousins on that stage from when I was interning. Yeah. Especially on the weekend, like it's kind of dead there. So it's like, and again, it was over the summer when SNL's not in production. Right, right, right, right. Oh, okay. Yeah. No. So it's like a, it's like a and again, it was over the summer when SNL was not in production. Right, right, right, right. Oh, okay. Yeah, no. So it's like a big empty barn. Yeah. So later when you auditioned for SNL, because don't you have to do it right there in that space?

Yes. And you were like, I've already done this. So I was familiar with the space. But seriously, a lot of performers get comfortable in a space and it kind of relax. Once they get used to it, it relaxes them. Do you think any of that helped a little bit? I think it might have. I mean, the truth is.

Just play along. Well, I remember when I was going to audition for SNL. Yeah. They took me into the area, which is actually like facing the stage, which is where like the cue card writer writers would like work and stuff. And I thought I was backstage. So it was actually kind of, I remember disorienting when I went out because I thought I would be walking out kind of like onto the stage. And I actually walked out in front of the stage and had to like walk up onto the stage. And it was, but I think that's because when I was doing my internship tours, I didn't

check out those areas as closely. So that's good. That's good advice to future SNL interns. Get into the different areas. Going back to when you were a Conan intern, and I kind of love that you were in a general PA, because did you get to spend time down around the studio during the show or seeing guests or anything like that? A little bit. I remember once I was in a sketch. Like, I can't remember. It's so crazy.

I feel like I talked about it so much and now I can't remember. It was like for like best non-speaking extra in something. It was like something where there was like a bunch of us lined up and right i remember i emailed like i was so excited to be in the sketch and i emailed like so many people from my college like i emailed because i was in this like senior society i emailed everybody in it i mean probably emailed like 40 people to be like, I'm going to be on Conan tomorrow. And you know how like sketches would like get moved around. So it was, of course it didn't air.

Then I emailed everybody again. I was like, I think it's going to play tomorrow, the next day. And then it didn't air again. And then I kind of like gave up on it. And then my friend's boyfriend said he saw me. Like it aired like maybe a week later. Oh, that's great. It did air.

It did air. Yeah. But everyone had already given up. Right. Yeah. And the other thing I remember about, I don't know why this made me think of it, but there was a big thing with the interns where they always would want the like name cards from the guests um dressing rooms right yeah on the door they put their little yeah name on the door and i remember i tried to get one once and it was like oh you should have like asked for it like a week ago like it was so competitive to get these

name cards and i sort of was like I mean the name cards are cool but people were going so nuts for them yeah were the interns I mean was the vibe competitive where people uh did did people think like oh I'm gonna get chosen out of this intern pool to like come and and be the next host yeah I really don't remember it being that competitive because I don't think my memory of like the other general interns that were there with me is that none there weren't as many that were like performers like they were i mean i definitely try i remember i think he worked there for a long time aaron blair yeah and his he's, he's still there. Okay. And his sister was there. Lisa. Yes. Yeah. And I wrote like a rap about them being brother and sister and working there. And I like performed it for

them and performed it for Tanya, who was my boss. And I probably was the most like, I've got a song and a dance. Sit down. You wrote a rap about everybody yeah i remember before i met like all the writers and knew who everyone was i thought that brian stack was like a body double for conan like i thought he was a few times oh really if we needed a photo of conan doing something we had all these different heads of conan and we could pose stack and put, put Conan's head on top of his body. But that, that only happened very rarely.

Usually Conan would just do the photo shoot. Before I met Brian, who was always the, I mean, he was so nice. All an act as I have said many times. Before I met him, I,

I just assumed I would see him around and think it was Conan and then it wouldn't be Conan. Right. And I just thought, oh, this must be, they must just have him here. Like for security purposes. I realize he's much more valuable. Not that body doubles aren't valuable. It's like a Saddam Hussein body double. He's just there for security.

Well, that does kind of lead me to the question. Was Conan around much? Did you get to see him and interact with him as an intern? Yeah, a little, not a ton. I remember the first time I met him, I was at the intern desk and he took so much gum. And he said something like, gotta feed the beast or something like that he was joking you know but anyways was he so that was very exciting and then i remember paula asked me into her office once and he was in there and she like asked me a question

paula's our talent yeah talent booker yeah producer booker yeah and i think she might have done it on purpose so i could like see him and it was really nice yeah so that happened once and then when i left my last day there was another intern and i it was our last day and we waited until like the end of the show and stuff and despite despite conan's assistant's best efforts to get us to leave, because she was like, he's going to be tired. He's not going to want to. We stayed and he took photos with us and he was asking what we're up to the next year

and what do we want to do? He was so nice. And actually I remember too, it was like the show had just been nominated for an Emmy. So there was like all the like uh stuff that the burbank off nbc offices had sent like all this food and stuff there and i remember they sent cristal and this was that none of that was left but i remember the in drinks being like you gotta get cristal that's a p diddy drinks like i remember that

when all the food and stuff, but anyways, I remember a city like around being around all that food and stuff and him like asking us what we were up to the next year. And then I actually got a picture with him that the, the first, the first late night show I ever did when I was on SNL was Conan. And that was very much by design.

Cause I, that's what I, I always wanted to be on his show. And I showed the picture that we took together. And it really looks like we're brother and sister. I mean, we couldn't look more alike. I saw that. I know.

It does look like a family reunion. It's like a family photo. Yeah. Yeah, that was a great interview. That must have been fun coming back to the show that way, obviously. it as eloquently as he said it, but he said something very sweet about like how it always feels so great for him when his when the interns go on and have success. Yeah. Had you practiced sitting on the couch on Conan set in anticipation of your future interview as a Conan guest? Well, I definitely had. Right. You're right. I mean, I guess what I'm putting together

on this podcast is that a lot of my success has to do with familiarity with the space. But I, you know, I definitely have a photo, which I can't remember if I showed this on Conan or not. I have a photo at his desk, which was like one of the people who worked there was like taking pictures of the interns. It was so fun. We were like, cool. I can't remember if I sat in the chairs. I'm sure I did. If I know me, I'm sure that I sat in the guest chairs as well. The thing that I could never believe that I thought was so wild, which was just that the set, you know, where his desk is and everything is so much smaller than it looks on TV. In like a crazy way.

Because like when he would come out on TV, like where the kind of where there was sort of like the ceiling would like sort of like there was sort of like a curved thing. Right. Presidium and the stars twinkling in the background. And it looked like it was like you were in like an auditorium. Like it looked so huge. Just you were in like an auditor like it looked so huge just i guess credit to the camera people they were just so good but like it looked like it was so enormous and then when you were there it was like a pretty tiny stage and that thing was like just it was just the way they were shooting it because he was almost to the top of

the proscenium thing and then like that where, like everything was so tiny and that's, I mean, that's like basically all stages, you know, is that there, there's so much smaller than you would think, but it all shrinks down when you're there in person. Yeah.

I just remember, I could not believe how small it was compared to how it looks on TV. He's shocking. He's like five, three. He's normally normal size, man, tiny, tiny man.

So you were talking about the end of your internship. And what were you then moving on to after? Had you had any sort of job offers based on your many internships? Or were you like, right? Well, it's very funny. My I was then a senior in college, and I decided to move to Chicago because I knew that, you know, a lot of the writers actually at Conan and stuff had started in Chicago. And it felt like that was like a big that was actually a big thing that I learned from interning at Conan was like that Chicago is a really great place to start. And it seemed like a lot of the more what's the word like sort of the more producerial roles. Like basically it was like a lot of the creative roles, like the writers, that stuff like you couldn't really work your way up.

You kind of had to like go off and like figure it out for yourself in a different way. And so it seemed like Chicago was a good place to move. But I remember my parents were like, what are you doing? Because I after college was like, they were like, you're going to move to New York, right? You just like spent two summers interning there. And like, you know, we paid for you to stay at the NYU dorms or whatever. And, and they were all unpaid internships at the time. And I was like, no, I'm going to go to Chicago. And, um, I mean, I think I should start out there and they were like, okay, that feels insane. But so I knew kind of from Conan that, and, you know, other influence I had had there that like, I should move to Chicago after college, but I definitely definitely it definitely

was because a lot of a lot of people seem to sort of start in that way yeah there were so many i you know starting with andy richter yeah there was such a strong chicago connection as when you were there still like brian stack you mentioned and brian McCann, and John Glazer, and yeah, a lot of writers. Kevin Dorff all came from Chicago. So I could see the pull in that direction. So how long were you in Chicago for? Was that scary moving there and trying to break into, I guess you went for the improv groups there, right? Well, yeah. Chicago's so fun. I mean, it was like, you know, I did improv and I mostly did improv. I did some stand up too, but that was just a really fun time. And I ended up being there for six years and I was sort of getting ready to maybe move to LA or, you know, back to New York or something like that. And then I got hired for SNL from a showcase I did in Chicago.

So that brought me back to New York, which was great. Just like you planned. Just like I planned. So someone from SNL, can you just describe that showcase quickly, how that works? Because I think it's a really fascinating process.

Yeah. They kind of fan out to different places in the country to look at talent. Yeah. They kind of fan out to different places in the country to look at talent. Yeah. So they come to like different like improv theaters and comedy theaters in Chicago. And I think they go to L.A. and they look in New York. I don't know. And then, you know, they get tapes sent to them and stuff. But I knew that they were they came to chicago every like summer whatever and so they had always done these showcases for snl in chicago and i was at the time um on a team at this improv theater io and i auditioned like basically what they used to do at io is they used to have people do like an improv show and snl would come to that and that just is like such a hard way to show

that sounds yeah i mean it's like oh that sounds like a terrible like it just because you just never know what's going to happen in an improv show and you're like making it up and it also like you don't want to be competitive in an improv show and try and get time it's just a but then a few years sounds evil and they would to a second city where people were doing like a more like scripted show that was like showing, you know, that. Right. Like the second city people had a better, a better setup for that stuff. So anyways. Right.

Well, that's more like what SNL is, which is. It's more like. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Characters they'd been doing a while. Yeah. Yeah.

Tightly written stuff. Instead of just pure improv exactly so a couple years before they had started letting people do like their own little five minutes at io to audition which was in my mind is a much better way because like you're saying it's like much more similar to like you know depending on what you do it could be much more similar to what they do on snl so right i had these like characters and impressions that I had planned out to do. And I actually somehow got very focused on SNL a few months before I auditioned. And I took this class where you like do characters and impressions for the class. Then they give you feedback and this

director runs it and they all give you feedback. And then you come back two weeks later and you make like a tape. Sorry, this was like a year before I auditioned. So, so I made this tape with characters and impressions on it. And I remember I had like agents in Chicago and I like sent it to them and I like was giving it around. And like, I realized like nobody's did anything with it. then when i so then the next year when i got into this showcase i had to audition for like the owner of io who i'd also given this tape to a year before i basically she was like can you come in now and audition for me and i was like sure and i just watched this tape that i had made and i just did the stuff from the tape and she

clearly never seen before this is great and so she like put me in the showcase and then I basically did that stuff for my audition which basically they what they do at what they would do at IO is they would have like a night like a showcase but they would like not announce it so it was like they would have the SNL writers and Lauren there but then they would have the rest of the audience filled with like just people who wanted to come see the show. And it was like, it would be like a line around the block because it would just be like the rumor that SNL was going to be there. People wanted to like come see it. So, so yeah, so I auditioned there and actually it ran long.

So they, um, so I didn't get to audition the first night and I auditioned the next. It's like a whole thing. But anyways, so I did those characters and impressions at IO in Chicago and then they flew me to New York to audition and I added a couple things to my audition. But I did like Miley Cyrus and I'm trying to think of stuff that I did at SNL.

I did Miley Cyrus and this poetry teacher I used to do on SNL and I did this little boy, Austin, who sort of turned into the bar mitzvah boy in a way. It was exciting. And it all took about like a month, which is incredible. It was very fast. Wow. Yeah. How were you feeling mentally at the time? Were you like, oh my God, this is my big chance. This better work out. Or were you just like, it's cool. Everything's gonna.

I was so chill about it. I was really so chill about it. I was like, how many people get to audition on this stage? Like, I'm just grateful for that. Right. I don't know. I got myself into the most relaxed headspace. I can't even believe it.

I'm sure that helped. Yeah. Well, maybe I was just familiar with the space to be honest. Yeah, maybe I was just familiar with the space, to be honest. Yeah, maybe it was. We had the feed on at Conan where you could watch what was happening. You could watch the news. You could watch SNL. And I remember one day, the SNL feed just came alive and it was auditions for Weekend Update.

Wow. And some people, it was right out of broadcast news, just dripping sweat. Oh, God. You know, really. Just blowing it. Yes, just kind of freezing in the headlights. Oh, my God.

That would be such a crazy thing to watch. Yeah, you know what? I turned it off. Yeah. Because I was like, I should not be. It's so personal. Yes, I felt like I shouldn't be seeing it. So I turned it off. Well, I was I should not be. It's so personal. Yes. I felt like I shouldn't be seeing it. So I turned it off.

Well, I was one of the last auditions of the day. I was like the second to last person to audition. I remember that. At 8H in New York City. At 8H. Okay. And I remember them coming into my dressing room at one point and being like, they're going to take lunch.

And I was like, okay. And it was like, I was like. Let's keep torturing her. Oh, man. Exactly. lunch and i was like okay and it was like i was like let's keep torturing her exactly but i think the people who went before like that that those were like what like basically they like auditioned and then those monitors were on so they could like watch the other people auditioning and i'm very grateful that i didn't even know that was an option because i just stayed in like andy sandberg's

dressing room where they put me and i just didn't have contact with people, which I actually think was very nice. Yeah. That sounds fast. I didn't see anyone else's audition. Yeah. Were you able to then just pop down to Conan to put in a dinner order? I wish I had thought of that.

That would have been incredible. I know the drill here. Yeah. So when you got hired at SNL, first, I mean, that must have been thrilling. Yes. You were back at 30 Rock. Did that feel like full circle? Yes, it definitely did. I mean, there were so many things like I remembered how weird the elevators are that like you press the button, you know, like it was really cool to come back

in that capacity. I honestly, my pass got me less access than my intern pass. But yeah, it was really cool to come back in that way and be in that building. And yeah, it was definitely felt very full circle. When you started at SNL, were you aware of the SNL interns? And were you like, Oh, you know, I'm going to be nice to them? Yes. I always tried to be so nice to the interns. And you know, the thing that I remembered from Conan, and this is funny because then it sort of changed for me, but what I used to say to the interns was I'd say the thing that used to stress me out when I was an intern was that when people would ask for coffee with like milk, like from Starbucks or whatever, I would get so stressed about how much milk to add.

And I was like, just so you guys know, it doesn't matter. Like add as much milk as you want. And then like, as I was there for longer, I'd be like, can I have a little more milk? But yeah, but in general, that was the one thing I used to say to them to like not stress them out.

And the thing I remember about Conan, which he did, which actually was a great thing to do in retrospect, is he would ask for a large coffee with a cup of milk. So he could add it himself. And that is such a nice thing to do because then as an intern, you really are like, i don't have to worry about it it's like getting someone a gift card it's like you don't have to but like with the other p i remember i was always so stressed so that was like the one thing i would tell them to like sort of at that age you don't drink coffee really and or you don't know what kind of coffee no and you think like these are these fancy adults and they probably like have such specific things that they want. And like you just don't want to screw it up.

Some of them are 23 years old. They've really lived. Also, back then there were only two types of milk. Now. Yeah, that's true. What a landmark. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Yeah. So you really want to put people at ease and just. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd always try and be extra nice to the interns because yeah it is yeah it's like when you've been when you've worked in food service and you're like I know I get it

I'm gonna be nice to the wait staff yeah yeah if interns would ask you for advice on how to like get to where you were yeah sometimes they would what to do with curly hair. Yeah.

Sometimes they would. And I would just say like, depending on what you want to do, I would just be like, you know, write all the time, have a lot of stuff written. And I said like,

if you want to perform, like do as many shows as you can. And the other thing that I really respected from the interns was always when they were just like, really, there were certain interns that I really saw myself in and it was all the interns that were like, really wanting to do a good job and really kind of like, like, I just, I also think there's just like something to like treating, even though like comedy and stuff is so silly is like treating the whole business like a job and like and like being professional and all that kind of stuff and being kind and just like you know

that kind of stuff too is just like um and by the way these these interns were like in a job so but but i but in terms of like going into comedy i would just say like you know get on stage as much as you can and and and a lot of stuff that honestly writers told me when I was at Conan, it was like, have the stuff ready so that like when you do get those opportunities, you're, you're ready for them. Right. Don't wait for the job to start doing the work. You have to do it before you get the job.

Exactly. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's true about inter. Yeah. I think the people work there notice. Yeah. It's like any new employee. You really are basically just also in the employee crew. Yeah, I think the people who work there notice. Yeah, it's like any new employee. You really are basically just also in the employee crew. And so, yeah, it's important to kind of try to remain chill,

even though I'm sure part of your brain is like, oh my God, this is my one opportunity to talk to Conan or this writer. And I've got to just tell them my whole life story. And you have to kind of. It's my audition. Yeah. Interns would come on too strong. I swear to God, by the end of the day, everyone would go, okay, keep an eye on this guy.

He's dangerous. Well, you already have so much that you're dealing with, especially with like a late night show like that. It's like, yeah, that it's hard to like then have to. No, but it's hard if you're like a college kid and you don't, you feel like, you know. My whole career hangs on this. Yeah. Right. But then no one remembers you unless you become famous later. And now you have a podcast with your brother. Have you collaborated with him a lot? Yes.

So my brother and I have this podcast now. It's called How Did We Get Weird? It's on Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network on iHeartRadio. Okay. To get that all out, which I wanted to do. My brother and I have this podcast. And yes, we love working together. We used to have this web series called Sound Advice,

where I would play a media coach, and I give like condescending advice to musicians and stuff. And so now we're doing this and it's been really fun. We basically, we have guests on and we talk about like nostalgic things from growing up. And it's really funny because my brother and I already do a lot of like research on stuff from our childhood and talk a lot like in our free time about stuff from our childhood. Like we've. Yeah. Like, was that weird? Right. Why did we never think that that was weird?

We just accepted it. Yeah. Or like some like we were talking yesterday about those Goobers snacks that are like peanut butter and jelly. Right. Mixed. And how they used to have them in single serving packs and and i was talking to my brother and he was like i've already looked this up you can't find that like we just anyway so basically it's so much fun because

we talk about that kind of stuff and like stories from growing up and it's a lot of research on um 80s and 90s stuff that we would have been doing already yeah so it's nice to like have you just record it an outlet to to talk about it yeah and so um it's been really fun and we've had really fun guests we've had beck bennett and bobby moynihan and my friend claudia and we have some more fun guests coming up so uh it's great i hope people will listen So it's great. I hope people will listen. Again, it's called How Did We Get Weird? Yeah. I listened to the episode with Beck about lean pockets. And that really spoke to me because it was such a time... Lean pockets. Yeah. Because you were talking about how people didn't worry about calories. It was just all

about fat content. That was my household. It was snack wells. It was the Olean chips that caused anal leakage. Oh, yeah. It was all of that stuff. Olestra. Olestra, yeah. We got to do an episode about that. That was, I loved those chips. I really did.

It was like, what could, this is perfect. It has no fat and it tastes like a chip. What could be wrong? So you get a little stomach cramping. It's not the end of the world. You have to wear a diaper when you eat them, but some people have to do that anyway. Yeah, we thought it was really funny

that Beck wanted to talk about lean pockets and not just hot pockets. But he said that's what was in his house. And that's what he remembered. That was the trend, yeah. Yeah, that was the trend. It was all the trend, all the right. I love that.

Yeah. And you're also working on, I was all the trend. I love that. Yeah. And you're also working on, I just learned this, that you're working on a Showtime series that you are writing as well. Yes. Yeah. So I co-created and I'm going to be in this Showtime series called I Love This For You. We're in the writer's room right now. Cool.

Oh, great. It sounds like a great idea for a show. Can you talk about the premise yeah so so the premise is basically it takes place mostly at a home shopping network which is something i was very obsessed with when i was little and it follows the story of this uh character who's somewhat inspired by my life um who is kind of like pursuing her dream of working there. So very exciting. Yeah, very personal.

And also a funny premise. Yeah, I think it'll be great. And people can subscribe to Showtime if they want to check it out. Are you giving out Showtime passwords? Well, we'll see. Maybe if people listen to the podcast they can get showtime passwords are you interning at a shopping network to do research that would be my dream some next summer my co-creator jeremy and i did do a tour of qbc and it was incredible oh that's

great where do they broadcast out of? It's in Westchester, Pennsylvania. It's kind of like an hour outside of Philadelphia. I could see it being somewhere not, like not in one of the main cities because for tax purposes. Right, right, right. Yeah, that's great.

So, cause I could really see you playing that, like a person who just has to maintain a fixed smile for hours and hours all day. Exactly. We need 10 more minutes. Yeah. Dead behind the eyes, still smiling for your life. Totally. Well, that's great. Have you, I mean, is that, it feels like something that's always been natural for you is creating characters for yourself and writing things that you can, can play. Yes. Is that true? Yeah. I think I've always liked doing

like, you know, coming up with characters and doing impressions and stuff like that. And, um, you know, used to do that, like in even like in middle school and stuff. And so it's exciting to get to do it for this show. And, and, you know, it was so much fun doing it at SNL and honestly at Conan kind of behind the scenes when I would do my great raps and performances that I'm sure all the staff were thrilled to see. I need more siblings on the staff to rap too. Yeah, exactly. Well, and another great tribute to your work in SNL is getting an Emmy nomination. Yes. As a performer, I think that's just an incredible achievement. Yeah. Yeah, that was

so exciting. And it was for my last, my seventh and final season on the show. And that was like such a, that was such a nice feeling to be honored in that way with that nomination. Yeah. To be singled out because it's such a strong cast and then. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So that was really great. That is great. And I always think any SNL veteran coming off of that show, other projects after that must seem kind of easy peasy almost just having gone through that fulcrum, that something that intense. are you like i have

more than a week to write something yeah i mean especially especially like when i've been like a guest on a show or like other other things and when i've done movies and stuff since like they'll be like we're gonna go late is that you're you might have to like wait a couple hours before we can shoot you are you and i'm like oh my, the fact that you're telling me in advance is like huge. That's what's throwing me off. It is. Stop being considerate. Yeah, totally.

So it is like, I mean, SNL was so much fun, but it is a lot of work and a lot of crazy insane hours and not a ton of heads up of like you know and so uh yeah you're absolutely right working on other stuff afterwards you're like oh my god this is so easy yeah and yeah you're probably like why are they doing this at such a slow pace yeah you know like we're gonna shoot this three weeks from now what What? Yeah, exactly. It's crazy. Well, that's so cool. We're so excited to see your upcoming work. Yeah. Thanks so much. Yeah. It's really great to talk to you, Vanessa. We usually end the show by asking people if they have advice for somebody out there, which you kind

of touched on already. But if there's someone out there who wants to do what you do for a living, what would you tell them? That's so nice. Yeah. I would just say kind of what I was saying before, like it's good to just be writing and working on your own stuff. And also in terms of performing, like, you know,

perform as much as you can, wherever you can. It really, it like, it really shows. I know when I've seen people audition for SNL and stuff since I was there, you can definitely tell when people have spent a lot of hours on stage performing. So just get out there and start doing your thing.

Especially specifically that stage. Specifically that stage. Try and get onto that specific stage. Give tours whenever possible. Just to get the space familiar. Yeah. Thank you, Vanessa. Thanks, you guys.

This was so much fun. Thank you. It was great chatting. All right. That was Vanessa Bear. Yeah. Thanks, Vanessa. That was so much fun.

That was great.. Yeah. Thanks, Vanessa. That was so much fun. That was great. And you know what we actually found? We dug up the first sketch that Vanessa appeared in on Late Night when she was an intern. She played an extra in a sketch about extras. Yes. It's incredibly meta by accident. Yeah. But she's, I guess, never seen it, so we're going to have to get that to her somehow. I don't know how they dug that up, because her name, you know, it's not like her name's attached to that sketch in any way. Right. She's just an uncredited extra. Yes. That's the problem with extras.

And if you like the show, you can support us by rating Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast, on iTunes and leaving us a review. Yeah. I mean, at least we're not asking you for money, right? That's next week. We're going to start hitting you hard. Yeah. But in the meantime, we're five stars, baby. Yeah.

Five stars and then five bucks. Yes. That's our program. One step at a time. Then eventually, please co-sign your house over to us. All reasonable requests. Your firstborn child. I'm Rumpelstiltskin.

No, I'm okay with that. Oh, you don't need more children. No more kids. You got two good ones. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids to death. Yeah. No, I'm okay with... Oh, you don't need more children. No more kids. You got two good ones. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids to death. Yeah. No, you want to quit while you're ahead.

Thank you. I like the way you put that. Well, hey, we got a listener question. And this week is a voicemail. I know we always hound you for voicemails. And we're actually going to play one finally. Hi, this is Alex from Orlando. I had a curious question.

I feel like I've heard this in the past, but I'd love to hear you guys kind of pontificate on it. Conan's accoutrements on his desk. You know, Carson used to have his cigar box and different things. And I know Conan has a mug on his desk in the past of President Eisenhower that I've always really enjoyed seeing. And so I just wanted to hear any kind of like pontification on those accoutrements on his desk and how they got there and what was the process? Was it just happenstance? Love to hear that. Thank you so much. Really love the podcast. Bye now. Thank you, Alex. Thanks, Alex. I guess we pontificate. Oh boy. Yeah. That's a very generous way of putting it. We're about to pontificate about a mug.

Pontificate on accoutrements. Accoutrement. I think that's a great question though. It is a great question because those mugs are so iconic that we've put them into other things. They've become a part of the cartoon versions of Conan and there's various models and facsimiles. I think you can buy knockoffs of them online somewhere. Well, Alex mentioned one mug. There are two mugs. The one he mentioned is the Eisenhower mug, which Conan's had since day one in 93 on every iteration of a show. I realized I had no idea where that came from. And our producers mentioned this question. It's just always been

there. That's what I assumed. Yeah. It came with the set. Exactly. I thought it was NBC had it. They were like, pick a president mug for your new show. I'll go with Eisenhower. That's the first thing you do when you get a late night show. Exactly. You get to pick a president. So I Googled it and I found something that said Robert Smigel gave it, the original head writer and producer of Late Night. Okay.

And Conan's old friend from SNL. And our many time guest. Gave him the Eisenhower mug. So I wrote Robert and he confirmed, he said he went to a garage sale down by the Jersey Shore with his wife, Michelle, and they saw this mug and he loved it. And he thought Conan would really love it. And so he gave it to him as a gift. Wow. He really nailed it with that gift. I mean. Yes.

Conan clearly is attached to that person. Yeah. He made it a part of his show for 28 years. Yeah. And he had it on his desk at SNL. So he had it at SNL and then he took it with him to the Simpsons and then brought it to New York and put it out on his desk. Yeah. So, yeah.

And was it always the same mug? Because I remember there being rumors that maybe like the original mug had gotten broken and then there were extras that were made. Extras were made. They were duplicated in a lab. Like they took molds of it. I don't know if they were, there's enough foresight to make copies prior to when it i know one definitely broke yeah and i don't know whether that predated making copies or how that happened or if it was somehow re reanimated right right

and then the other mug um that's the one with all the little words written on it and a little drawing of Conan behind a desk. That was a gift when Conan started late night from his former writing partner and good friend, Greg Daniels. Ah, the creator of the American Office. Correct. Among others. He gave Conan that as a break a leg gift when the show started. Oh, cool. And I think it says on there, it said, when you run out of words to say or forget what words to say next.

And they were just so painted on the mug are nonsense words Conan had always said over the years. Oh, that's great. Was murderer on there? I think it is. Oh, really? Some version, because Conan always goes, murderer. Yeah. Yeah.

If you ever meet conan linger after you meet him just keep your ears open and you'll probably hear him just go murderer yeah he'll call you a murderer yes to whoever's listening yes and it's a compliment it's his highest compliment he really respects and admires he loves murderers yeah he loves people who have the ability to take the life of others uh so that's the story of those two mugs a long-winded story of those two no that's great there's actually a lot more there than i yeah i think was expecting robert said he loved the mug because he couldn't believe eisenhower's head would contain creamer wow yeah that's i mean that it's amazing that robert knew him well enough to get him a gift

that was going to be that meaningful you know it's like i feel like i give people things and then they've gotten rid of them by the next christmas well i imagine if you're writers together at snl i bet you bought you know they just they, you just, all those legendary Tuesday night all-nighters. I'm sure you, you learn about your coworkers. You know what they would buy at the flea market. Exactly. That's what, that's what it's all about. Yeah. So keep those questions coming.

I know. Yeah. There's other stuff on his desk we can talk about. Right. We could, but you have to ask about it that's we're like vampires we need to be invited in what kind of pencils were did he keep in that mug well we have the answers right that's right because he didn't did he ever drink out of either of those mugs he just stored they were just for decoration because he always had a different mug with something in it right the eisenhower mug was always just for pens and pencils. Yes.

Yeah, I think the other one was just decoration too. And he drank out of a third mug. He did always have a pen with him. And sometimes, you know, he'd kind of tap it or play with it. But did he actually write notes during interviews? Was he ever? He did write notes. Well, he had a blue card yeah he

definitely would write stuff down sometimes after a comedy bit during the commercial break you'd go up and sometimes he'd write a note down on an edit that he'd like to see something to take out yeah yeah that makes sense yeah but nothing like oh i'm gonna write down a callback that I want to bring in later in this interview. Oh, I don't know. That's a good. I was wondering about that. Yeah. I don't know.

There's probably not time for that, you know? Yeah. Like, hold that thought, guest. Yes. I'm going to. I just thought of something. Or he's probably just doodling. He's always drawing pictures.

He's always doodling. Himself. Oh, my God. He would, what do you call those ink blotters on his desk he would get a new ink blotter like once every two weeks and fill it with doodles oh wow meticulous doodles and then roll it up i don't know throw him in a closet like keith herring exactly and then start a new doodle wow and so i don't know how many of them there are. I think it would be a cool show to see the, because there's an,

they'd often reflect what was going on on the show then or what was going on in his life. Yeah. Oh, fascinating. Yeah, you could have them hanging in a gallery alongside a psychiatrist evaluation of them. That's right. A sentency of mental illness in them is strong.

Yeah, and they're all in ink, and I wonder where they are. Yeah. Maybe we'll try to... He wouldn't have thrown those away, would he? I don't know how private they are. I don't know if he'd be annoyed that you brought it up and that you were talking about it.

But that's you. You like to shoot off your mouth. Well, I like thinking that these are kind of a diary for him because it takes a lot of work to write in a diary. But if you just draw a doodle, you might get the same information across. I asked him for one of them. I have one of them squirreled away somewhere. Oh, nice. I think he gave it to me begrudgingly.

But I didn't care. I took it anyway. Well, he doesn't know. He knows you like to hoard art. I'm a hoarder. I'll give it back to him if he wants it. I'll send him a photo of it. I have it rolled up somewhere.

But anyway, yeah, we'll get an art gallery to look at them and see if there's a show there. Yeah. We've got a lot of ideas for monetizing Conan. For things that'll never happen. Well, hey, I blacked out for a second, but I think we're wrapping up a listener question. And we love those, so please keep submitting them. Anything to stop the blackouts.

Submit your listener questions. You can leave a voicemail at 323-209-5303 and ask us if there's something you want us to pontificate about. Yeah, or email us at insideconanpod at gmail.com. And that's our show for this week. Jessie? We like you!

Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast, is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jessie Gaskell. Produced by Sean Doherty. Our production coordinator is Lisa Byrne. Executive produced by Joanna Solotaroff, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco Engineered and mixed by Will Becton Our talent bookers are Gina Batista and Paula Davis Thanks to Jimmy Vivino for our theme music and interstitials You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts

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