Inside Conan: An Important Hollywood Podcast - Writer Tommy Blacha Revisits the Gaseous Weiner

Episode Date: November 19, 2021

Late Night writer Tommy Blacha joins writers Mike Sweeney and Jessie Gaskell to discuss performing as The Gaseous Weiner, the freedom of writing the Satellite TV sketches, and how he gave a Conan line to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.Got a question for Inside Conan? Call our voicemail: [phone] and e-mail us at [e-mail]

And now, it's time for Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. Hey there, listeners. Hey. Hey, you. That's how I say hi to people whose names I don't remember. Hey, and welcome to Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast. We are your hosts. I'm Jessie Gaskell. And do you remember who I am?

Oh, yeah. Hey there, you! Hey! Yay! Yeah! You know what? I'm going to save you the embarrassment. I'm Mike Sweeney. I'm a writer on Conan. Thank you. I'm a writer on Conan. Get out of here. I should know you. Yeah. Or we were writers on Conan because there's no Conan right now.

But, you know. I mean, Conan the man still exists. Yes. Conan the show. Yes, yes, yes. Probably at least seven Conans worldwide. Yeah. So how are you? I'm good. Yeah. Have you been, hey.

Yeah. I have to ask. have you been swimming? I have been swimming. Yes. Oh, good. Again, the pressure of mentioning that I was going to train for a mile and a half open water swim on the podcast. That's seven people that could bring additional pressure to bear on me. So I've been swimming. Yeah. I mean, that's the only way that I ever get anything done is just the fear of... Well, then what is it you've been putting off?

What should I commit to? I'd love it if you'd commit to something right now. Calling my insurance company. Home or auto? It's a personal insurance claim. Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't even think of that. Yeah, don't oh, oh, and you've got to get into it.

I know. Well, you know what? I've been dealing with of that. Yeah, don't oh, oh, and you've got to get into it. I know. Well, you know what? I've been dealing with auto insurance. Oh. And what I have discovered, because someone T-boned my car. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Don't worry, I'm okay.

Oh, that's crazy. Where were you? Well, I was on the road driving, so it's not that unusual. I'm totally fine. And it wasn't my fault, which is all I care about. I know. That is all that matters. Yes.

Like if I lost, you know, two limbs, I'd be like, hey, as long as it wasn't my fault. Yeah. But as long as my rates don't go up. Exactly. But anyway, so you have committed to getting in touch with your insurance company. Well, good luck with that. I hope that works out. Thank you.

I'll keep you posted. Yes. Oh, I was going to tell you, I did a kind of swimming. Yeah. good luck with that. I hope that works out. Thank you. I'll keep you posted. Yes. Oh, I was going to tell you, I did a kind of swimming. I didn't swim. You took a bath. Exactly. But I did a float. Oh, what do you mean you did a float? There's a place. I don't know if you remember on the show, one of the editors, Matt Shaw, used to talk about this place in Pasadena where you can go float.

It's like a hyperbaric chamber. Oh, okay. They have these rooms and the water is super extra salinated. So you're on top. Yeah, and you are weightless in there and they turn the lights off and you're in there for an hour and you just float in there

with no sensory distractions. Yeah. It's kind of like living in Pasadena. Yeah, it was just in the Cheesecake Factory. No, it's really cool, but it's a weird feeling. You kind of feel like you're in a womb or something. Did you like it? Yeah, I think I liked it. Was it therapeutic in kind of feel like you're in a a womb or something did you like it? yeah I think I liked it

was it therapeutic in some way or did you yeah I mean well it was your the initial difficulty is getting over

just your mind racing and you're you're alone with your thoughts and that part is terrifying to me you're supposed to be in the moment probably right?

kind of like yeah meditating and they tell you like oh you can count you know count to a hundred, which I think I did 80 times. Did you have to worry about falling asleep and drowning? No, no. And you have, they have, they give you like a little floaty pillow that you put your head on. I actually think I did fall asleep for a little bit of it. And that was nice.

That sounds really nice. Yeah. I mean, by the end I was really into it. Well, hey, should we start the show? Yeah. Now that our audience has been lulled into a hyperbaric sleep. Start our show. We have to wind it up. Sorry, today's guest. We'll talk to you next week. Great late night writer, Tommy Blacha. I'm so excited to have Tommy on as a guest because he's kind of legendary. I will say a legendary. Yeah, he's a character. Late night writer.

Yeah, he had a lot of the, some of the most famous sketches and he even performed often too, for instance, as the gaseous wiener. And he was a force of nature in the writer's room that he would just take over the room and reduce everyone to giggles to tears and you know that was a tough crowd to get on a roll but he oh my he was a master he was just really he's the funniest yeah he's with and has

had an interesting career yes late night too before Before and after. Really, really interesting. Yeah. He created Metalocalypse on Adult Swim and he's worked on professional wrestling. He worked for WWE right after. The Ali G Show. Yeah. Yeah. Let's let him talk about it. Here's Tommy Blacha. Ladies and gentlemen, our guest today, this is a gentleman who started work, I think, in the spring of 1995. And was there for some of the great years of comedy. Me, you, Ernie Kovacs. That's right. Ed Sullivan would drop by.

And he's an incredibly hilarious guy. We're so lucky we snagged him because he's elusive. Oh, he's hard to track down. Enigmatic. Yes. Please welcome Tommy Blacha. Hi, Tommymmy hey tommy oh so lucky i have a computer and a microphone what are the odds but you've never connected them until now yeah till today yeah tommy i've never met you but i've heard your name said in in hushed reverent tones around the office for a long time. Yes.

It was always like, oh, that, oh, Tommy Blotcha. People would get like a glazed over look in their eyes. That was Tommy Blotcha. Glazed. He was the one who used to throw sandwiches up in the drop ceiling and then the mice would come. Yeah, wait, I did hear about this. You used to throw sandwiches into the, like up in the rafters.

Yeah. Occasionally there was a drop ceiling. Right. And then mice would come. In which Brian McCann would do the funniest bit I've ever seen because we'd have a big thing of muffins and there would be a mouse in the corner and then McCann would do his like, you know,

just, you know, incredibly stupid character and he would take a muffin and he would whip it at the mouse, and the muffin would explode into a million crumbs, and he'd go, oh, why do we have mice? Oh, it's just the best. Yep. Brian McCann, of course, was another legendary writer on the show. And then Groff would try to say, can we put that on the show somehow?

Of course. Like, oh, we have to explain there's mice, and we'd have to do, it's too much. He was the head writer, the show. And then Groff would try to say, can we put that on the show somehow? Of course. There's mice and we'd have to do, it's too much. He was the head writer. Of course, he was just like desperate to fill. What do we do tomorrow? The mice, the mice bit. The muffin mouse. I remember you threw, we'd eat dinner every night before we had to go back to work and you, yeah, there were missing tiles in the the ceiling and one night you just threw food up there and i swear all the other writers are like we can we can throw food up and everyone started like throwing food up like they were just waiting for someone to break the seal tiles started sagging from the weight of the food that we threw i i swear not proud but it's really funny.

Yeah. Wouldn't we go up and check on stuff that we threw this cranberry sauce up there three months ago? Let's see how it's doing. Yeah. I remember like whole burritos and things of that nature. And then mice did come. We literally did have mice running all over the one room where we ate. It was pretty good.

I remember, God, Andy used to have a stack of his 8x10s, and someone was up there. I can't remember. It was just someone from NBC or something, and I just said, like, yeah, I'm Andy's PR guy. And they were all autographed, and I would just open the window and, like, toss out, like, 48x10s out into Manhattan,

just flying. I'm like, that's a grassroots campaign. That was fun, too. One time, it was late, and I was pushing someone in a trash can, or I was being pushed in a trash can, one of those big trash cans. Went around into the elevator banks, and who was doing a little tour of the um the floor was bob right who is the the ceo of general electric so this is one of like the top six you know guys you know in the country in corporate america at the time literally the ceo they want a tour in the world yeah not nbc

general electric it's like okay what show's going on? What nuclear missile's being made? You know, just one, you know, a huge guy. And it was just kind of like these hijinks around the corner. Whoa! And then like, look at it, it's Bob Wright! And then that glance. And then that's when I realized, like, Bob Wright's right-hand man. What is this nonsense?

Well, these are writers. They're paid to have their minds wander and be fucking goofy because they're a prophet because they're in late night comedy. So that's a profit area. So they're doing their job very well. Carry on. You know, if I was an accountant, get him. You know, he's fired.

And GE makes garbage cans. I'd love to go back to the beginning of your time on the show, Tommy. How did you hear about the show? How did you end up writing for the show? Well, basically I was Andy Richter's roommate in Chicago in college. And then he... That's where all the writers came from. Yeah. That's where all the, you know, it was a revolving door. He had so many roommates. He, you know, how he got hired through going to New York and doing something, whatever. And then he's like, yeah, putting me on TV on this show. That's my Andy Rickard.

And I'm like, oh, cool. Then you want to like submit? So I submitted a package before the show even started. And then, you know, then I saw the show and I was like, okay, there's that or whatever. And then, yeah, then I was happily in Chicago, still like, um, struggling with a creative career, but really succeeding at selling weed. So I was just like, happy-go-lucky weirdo. Perfect training. And then about a year or so into it, um, Marsh McCall, uh, hired me. So he was the head writer. Yeah. At the time. In fact, it was, it was, it was amazing. It was the most amazing day because I really was depressed over like,

man, I can't just sell weed for my life. I mean, I can. I can get more for it in New York City. Well, when you're in Chicago and you make like $40,000 a year tax-free and you're living in this – it's just like, well, here's my soccer team I'm playing on. Plus free weed. Yeah, everything's great. So I actually playing on. And, you know, just. Plus free weed. Yeah, everything's great. So I actually stopped smoking weed and became even a better weed dealer

because I was like, I can't smoke weed all the time. Anyways, I was struggling with stuff. And then I tried to make this independent movie with my friend, which means nothing now. But in 95, like, you're making a movie now. Like every, you know, idiot, like, you know, makes movies because of the technology, whatever. So the whole thing fell apart

and it was like so depressing and i was and i i it it happened and then an hour later i got a call it says like andy said like i want to hire hands and i my depression just like evap like vanished i was like fuck this whole thing this whole fucking thing fell apart i've been working on it god damn it what am i gonna do i'm gonna go back to grad school yeah hello oh never mind and then yeah just just moved and the rest was history as i say i never knew you had a you went to film school and had all that background that you brought yeah to the show but that makes sense a lot of background with the pop dealing and but that makes sense because you got right into kind of shooting a lot of distinctive stuff for the show right away it was it was tough i'll tell

you because i got in i was kind of like oh hey i'm a resident weirdo andy's pal but then this kind of like you know there was a pressure and a pace to that show and then like here's these kind of jokes and like i don't really write jokes okay what are you gonna do like oh fuck so the first you know 10 weeks or so we're kind of like oh this is this is kind of tough so there's a couple things i i glommed on to one was actual items i remember right which was the funnest fucking job ever because you'd get newspapers from all over the country sunday papers and you just got to go in your office and and look at all the weird ads and then like graphically think of things to put in you know into the ads to make them bizarre right and that was just straight pleasurable like thing there's no and it kind of was in my mentality so that was good right and then i remember doing different

directors uh have directed the show and then asking like hey can we get a special effects where andy gets shot and his chest goes out with blood and like and i think that people didn't have directed the show and then asking like, hey, can we get a special effects where Andy gets shot and his chest goes out with blood? And like, and I think that people didn't really ask for that kind of like, yeah, I think we could. And then we actually did it and it was like, like really huge and exciting. So it's kind of opened up weird video things. And so, yeah, that was the first foray into that stuff.

Right. You know? Yeah. It was weird because there was one thing that i didn't do but i just glommed onto and said this is the greatest thing ever which was satellite tv right which was these weird in a time cable tv is getting big but you had just dumb things like the who's their channel and just showed a door with just like knocking who's there and then that's weird and next you know just these absurd things that were nods to public access or whatever, just so imaginative and really short or weird.

And just it was done. And then it was kind of like, well, that's done. And I was like, can't we do that every week? Right. And so that was something I didn't come up with, but I certainly like resurrected and kind of said like, yeah, do those. And that was when the job was the greatest. Cause you'd, you'd have that on Friday. So you'd be in charge of it. And then you, there was such a team cause you get, Hey everyone,

give me some ideas and you'd go produce them. And there was an incredible camaraderie that you don't find when you leave a show like that and you go to a sitcom, like, well, let's, let's kick that idea around until it comes from the show runner. And then it'll be in you know just just horrible fucking shit like that instead of like this like hey it's a team let's all just go make an ending for you yeah you know this i'll help exactly i'll help because you're gonna help me tomorrow when i when i'm up against the wall no it's it's true because you'd be you'd be so

burnt but then sometimes you just give an ending to something and like oh you know right i did it it's yes oh my god like when you're in a writer's room for and and you're like i haven't said anything that anyone's liked in yeah five weeks no like and you know and then you pitch an ending and you're you're set for another five weeks i can coast another five weeks that was an early thing too i I remember it was like, I don't know who it was. There was the idea of like how Conan met the band and it was like, okay, here's the beats and shit, it's on tomorrow and fuck, this isn't really working and like

how did he meet Max? I remember coming up with like, that was an early thing too. How about Conan's making love to a woman on a bed? Always a good idea. That'll get him to detention. That's how to get it on the show. Conan, we need you to do a pre-tape. Yeah. Then Lorne Michaels

comes in and says, well, my daughter. No, no. And he peels off the bed. He like peels off the bed and goes underneath and then you hear some guy come in and like, you're messing around with someone. Like, no, no, no, Bruno, no Bruno,

whatever. And then they get on the bed and it starts going up and down, but you pull the camera back. And then Max Weinberg was under there. So the conceit being like, Oh, Matt's Weinberg was sleeping with someone who had to hide when Conan came in, who had to hide when the husband came in and it just,

and it just, but it was an ending. Right. And that's when I realized like, Oh God, the ending's everything. You gotta, you know what I mean?

I didn't even realize that about live that structure at that time, you know, and kind of writing like, oh God, get that ending. Like the ending, they're up and we'll be right back. Endings would save sketches all the time. It is, if there's a big laugh on the end, you're golden. But if it's funny all the way through and then it just peters out at the end, you might be in trouble. You need a laugh big enough so that the head writer

standing behind the podium can hit the applause button. And you have to time it just so the laugh can segue perfectly into the applause. My favorite was when the ending just sat there. All of a sudden the

crowd's applauding and you're just like oh boy i know very natural yeah is that is that the end okay yeah it's like we got seven beats we've thrown four of them out there right oh is there gonna be another one no just end i see that in the advertising world, like some ad campaign that has a funny set piece idea or whatever, and then like, oh, that was good, and then they'll have a next, like their next series aren't as good, and you know like, oh, they can't do that. You can't go back.

Now your beats are shittier than the first ones. But we still love it. We did that all the time. We'd have a beat that, something that killed, and then it became kind of a, it was almost torturing the writer. Like you have that glow of like, ah, everyone loved it. Everyone loves me.

And then it's like, do it again in two days. And you're like, oh. I had that with the weird, what was it? Inappropriate thing with Stack. Right. It's Clive Clemonsmens inappropriate response channel which was the satellite tv channel right and it was like that's oh that's so good you gotta bring it back on its own really and then like just on its own like yeah weird what is this stuck in and like i guess well thanks for taking the sheen off the air

it's kind of like a football play. Like what a great trick play. Do it again. It was never good. There's stuff like for anniversary shows and stuff where, you know, you're going through old clips and it, yeah. Like the, the first time we did something is it's great. And then like,

my brain's kind of like, I could have swore we did that a few more times. What I like, I should check those out. Diminishing return. People have to like dig it up for, you know, and and it's buried somewhere and then you watch them and you're just like oh okay because there's something you realize like oh my god there's been 20 000 yeah comedy bits done in late night comedy and then it's it's half that that's while you're

performing that's good it's funny and then it's like a slot has been filled and we need to fill more slots that pressure like so yeah so you know more more take it easy now and sometimes you think like has anyone ever done this bit right that's weird you know like uh i think it was you and a and a another person who are like twins saying things at the same time but you were the canon i yeah we did you know here we'll do it right now we are psychically connected to each other it's really crazy somehow mccann and i started doing that in in the writer's room and Groff again, Groff's like, let's put that on the show. Put it on the show. Anything funny.

Oh, I hit my leg. Put it on the show. So, and then we were, it was going to be on the show the next day. And we were like, oh man, this is, people are going to, the writers loved it. Imagine everyone else. Well, do you remember what everyone did? Yes. Well, you, you tell it. So I think it was Bob and Ray, some old time honored comedy duo had done this years ago.

Someone found a clip. So Brian and Mike were down there rehearsing it. And then they played the clip of Bob and Ray doing it like in the sixties or something. Oh, that's what we're doing. Yes. It was the biggest is the greatest twins or something we were the talkie twins they were coming on as the talkie twins and was it andy blitz someone knew that this was a bob and ray bit i forget who oh let's say it was andy blitz give throw the dog a bone yeah man oh he gets enough credit and so then everyone mobilized they were so excited that they had us by the balls that they they designed an elaborate wardrobe for us that matched i know with straw hat so we so when we sat on the couch to rehearse this we looked like the biggest jackass like

just incredible jackasses and you had like costumes on we had costumes we're ready to talk to twins and then conan just goes goes oh uh look can we just watch something on the monitor first and they showed the bob and ray clip of the exact thing we were about to do and we're that's what i loved about conan he reminded me of like after i went and worked for professional wrestling and there was a similar thing like no matter how much pressure you were under no matter how much and believe me that was pressure like pay-per-view starts at 6 p.m 35 million dollar buy rate everything has to be you say what you will about the content but but you always had time to fucking pull a rib or joke about something no matter what we need to get this shit done i know but so-and-so thinks this and they're going to be, Oh, well, fuck, we got to do that at all costs.

You know, if it delays you, if it adds more, do the joke, fuck the people. Yeah. That's, you know,

and Conan has that too. Like, in fact, one of my favorite memories ever, which made me just love everyone there was, remember, if it was someone's birthday, they'd have bagels,

right? Okay. That's someone's, that's reasonable. No, no cakes and bullshit. But then when it was right conan or jeff ross's birthday there was it was jeff ross's birthday right then there's bagels

we'd have a meeting in the conference room in the conference room the morning like production so we got all like you know high and mighty like what the fuck how come jeff ross gets uh what kind of like hierarchical bullshit is this he gets salmon and fruit and everyone else just gets bagels. So then we're like, we're just talking like, who's lowest on the totem pole? It was Mike Hamicky. And I think it was Greg Cohen and I started like,

let's fucking, let's order a thing for his breakfast, you know, for his birthday, which was two days. And then we went to Tracy. She's like, well, don't spend more than a thousand dollars. And we're like, what? So we ordered like an omelet station and a banner through the building and all this stuff and i remember there was something happening that day was kind of tense and and conan and people were coming like bob wright was in the building i smell uh yeah i smell waffles well there's an omelet station and then hammocky came in with his backpack

and was like happy birthday mike hammocky and then like and it never you can never joke on jeff ross he's like what's this all about? And I'm like, well, we thought since you get fucking salmon and that's unfair, we ordered all this for him. And he's like, all right, it's an omelet station. Then he's like, man, joke never works on him. He doesn't give a shit. I think he was like, that was a good one.

Yeah, that's the most we get. Which for him, that's him doubled over losing oxygen. I'll never forget once he was practicing his golf swing and McCann was in his office going like, you know, I could produce the show, trying to like, you know, needle him about something. Like, it ain't so hard. And then Jeff Ross was just like doing like a golf,

like, and he goes, huh? McCann's just like, nevermind. It's like, you tried to joke on him, but he's thinking about his golf swing right now. You're not going to get him. You're not going to get him. And that was before they invented the cell phone. I know.

Try now. Oh my God. Do you know what I was thinking about just during this conversation that came into my head? They probably haven't thought in decades was remember we were working on something. So sometimes I'll sing it. I'll think of it.

Yeah. Like the David Bowie, the worst David Bowie medley of all time. Oh, right, right. We were going to do some bit and then we just never, but I do remember it. I remember it was, wait, it was like,

let's dance. Put on your red shoes and scary monsters and super freaks with gasoline we're just taking the worst unmelodic parts of bowie songs and we were working on a a medley that never happened one of the greatest things that ever mid-career it never happened disco border bowie because we'd have remember we'd be like we'd occasionally go like we got to go work on that. And then we'd work on it and then we wouldn't.

And then like three weeks later, you know, we got to work on that thing. Yeah, let's work on it. I mean, Bowie keeps calling the show saying, when are you going to do that bit with me? Oh, so funny. No, we used to stand behind Michael Gordon, a writer, and sing the medley. Yep. Blast it into his ear. Yep.

It's very productive. Pretty much it. Well. It's like if a nerd's got a frat house. I know. Is what it sounds like. No, it was, begrudgingly. Because everyone would say that.

It's like a frat house. Well, fuck you. And then like, look out! Throwing food! There was like, yeah. You mentioned Clive Clevens, which was played by Brian Stack, who said when he saw himself do that, he like immediately lost 30 pounds. No, because I remember talking him into it.

And he's like, shouldn't you do it or something? No, it's got to be like an English pasty, you know, drank too much ginger with a big red, you know, that kind of vibe, you know. New wave of British heavy metal. Pasty, drinks too much, ginger. Did you ever get recognized out

in New York for appearing on the show? Yeah. Well, actually, I fucking used to play this character called the Gaseous Wiener. It was so... Yeah. It reminded me of that Simpsons episode where the kid just says like, I don't know. And then everyone loves it.

And you're like, fucking why? I remember coming in and I think it was McCann, someone. And I had the flu. And I came in and someone said like, like hey can you play like a farting hot dog in this like great mascots thing and then like you know everyone's a team player like sure so then it was like okay there's gonna be a song i guess and then it just goes and you fart and dance with it no anything other than that right crummy foam rubbery costume and like i don't know where these like ballet shoes. And so I did it.

And then everyone's like, Oh my God, that's hilarious. You got to come back. And there was actually the, the globe. I think it was like a crummy inquirer actually interviewed my parents and like weird.

It was its own. Were there signs? Well, you know, it was an easy thing. We're like here to give like an act three here to give the card for next week's guest. And it'd be like, and there was always something would fall apart. Like, they need you downstairs.

And then I'd look and I'd see, oh, that fucking hot dog costume's in the fucking hallway. Like, God damn it. And I'd have to go down and like, and it wouldn't say anything. And I'd just kind of make a disgruntled face. And everyone's like, oh my God, this is the greatest. I'm like, I don't fucking, I really don't know why. The disgruntlement was real.

It wasn't acting. You were the go-to when things crashed and burned for the middle show comedy piece. Yeah, for about like two years there. And one time I was actually in a famous crummy, like Billy's Topless, like with Richter, like down on 6th Avenue. It was like a, it was like a topless bar,

but it was just like grungy bar. And there was just some big biker weirdo that looked at me all drunk and he said, hey, you're that fucking hot dog, aren't you? And then Elizabeth Berkley expressed her love for the gaseous wiener once a lot. Like she said, I mean, you don't get it. I mean, I really love you.

And I'm like, oh. Oh boy. So that was exciting that was that was probably the best yeah that's really fun yeah you're that fucking hot dog aren't you and he was he still was on the fence of whether it was that is that friendly right i don't know yet i watched an old one and i you came out to promote the fifth anniversary show which is was i think it said it's going to be on september 16th and here to make you remember the cone goes here to remember you that remember that date is that gaseous wiener and you come out and you you fart 16 times and it

goes on for like three minutes and at the end like i forgot like he does not love like when push comes to shove, he doesn't love scatological comedy that much. And I think. I know, that's why I was surprised to see so much of it. Well, you know what? We was like, it was the emergency lever. It was like a crowd pleaser.

It really was like the mom that said like, just give the fucking kids pizza. Fuck it. I know it's not nutritious but fuck it you know again i'm busy just right yeah just order pizza for him again i don't know i hope maybe some of that was the the charm of it was like i think that guy's face isn't registering like he's not really into it either yeah yeah you yeah i remember the 15th time you're just like i fucking hate this so much i just i i passed by you in the airlock just about to go out and you'd be like oh my god that is fun

it's one of those be careful what you wish for scenarios of like oh i'd love to have a recurring bit on the show but it's gonna be this but you know it was low maintenance put it that way it was just like get in the thing and get out. So that was fun about it. But there was a big extended one too. That was a mistake. I think it was the gaseous wiener in Death of a Salesman or some fucking shit. Oh, I don't remember that.

Yeah, there was something that was just like, okay. It's like the Peter principle of comedy. Like, oh, we know, okay, we can't go that far. Pull it back. Right. One past its capability. Who would guess 10 minutes of this character? Who wouldn't wear well?

Were there characters that you wrote that you enjoyed playing or that you got, you know, were into more? Yeah, actually, I kind of learned as an actor, like, the things like,, oh, I should always be, like, a monster or someone subverbal. That's kind of my forte. Remember playing, like, the shirtless moron? It was, like, fun. Right. And that came out of, like, we were out doing a bit on the street and was like, shit, we don't have enough. Like, I'll just be a street weirdo, come up and do it.

And then, like, again, that's good. And then, yeah, there, there was always like such fun stuff that like, I remember moments like we did some kind of Olympic tuba race. So it was me, maybe a McCann. We had those like, remember those stretchy Olympic kind of singlets on. And then we were like racing with tubas and then we put in the tubas. So when you do something like that, it's like, okay,

the van's going to pick you up and you're doing a bunch of beats so you're you're out there with nipsey russell and a hot day underneath some bleachers somewhere in some high school in new jersey listen to nipsey russell wax poetic about old stuff and it was like fabulous you know those days were like incredible then just like okay run with the tuba and then like come back in the van like one day i think it was a satellite tv i played the cupcake cowboy so it was just like a oh yeah a guy and a horse that would like go into a bakery and lasso a cupcake and pull it towards him and then then he'd have the cupcake and then he'd he'd go down central park or whatever with and eat the cupcake so again you'd have to like okay then the day of like okay get there

at nine and oh there's a horse in the trailer and you know it's a big to do right but then that's when you'd be like i can't believe i'm making money i'm like just like going down the street in manhattan you know eating a cupcake and a full cowboy outfit on a horse and shit like that so there was so many just tons of dumb little one-offs like that, that were just a blast. They were always a blast. I can't, I can't even think of one that I, I hate. Even the gaseous wiener didn't hate because it was repetitive and, and your face is out there farting, but like, okay, let's take it for the team.

What do you, what do you do? It's lucrative. Yeah. I just watched a very funny bit where you play a British punk who is a born-again christian really i don't remember this and then do you not remember no our producer dug it up and you you beat up andy daly who's a friend of the show oh wow i don't remember that one at all one of those what was great wherever those came from that like just an excuse to make characters like our new fall characters or any kind of like you know i think i was boot james wilkes booth assassinating you at one point

for something wasn't it that's right as lincoln we did a ton of lincoln stuff and when once you put a lincoln out for them for whatever reason it was like yes that's it sweeney's lincoln of course just dialed in i was a farting hot dog you got to be lincoln at least although probably harder to get into the get up the first year we got nominated nominated for an emmy for writing like we all went out to la and we you know the we're behind conan on the red carpet and they have like stands of fans and everyone's cheering him and then i i'm just like walking behind him and someone goes lincoln lincoln all right i'm i'm a happy man the best experience going to those first emmys was because we had a car so we all like split a limo and different

groups of people and i just remember like oh this is weird and pulling up and then just seeing these like probably five photographers running hurriedly by those stands as like the doors being opened or I'm opening the door. And I was like the first one out of the limo. And I just saw like all these photographers like with all this zeal in their face come right up. And then once they saw me, they kind of looked in the limo

and then they went like, no. And I just went to the next thing. Were they just like, it's writers. Yeah, just like, not writers yeah just like just not even just nobody who is it nobody move on so you're like i guess i really arrived and then it was really hot the red carpet like red really like the heat and just waited for like a dumb hot wine in a plastic cup and it was just so shitty it was horrible no one worth wasting digital film on yeah once i worked for the now they're the creative arts emmys with andy right greatest

job i ever had because it was back before it was on it's still not a big deal but andy's like it was five thousand dollars it was me and paul f tompkins paul f tompkins and i and he's like you guys want to work i don't know come up with and I. And he's like, you guys want to wear it? I don't know. Come up with some jokes. And then he's like, whatever. So we just wore tuxedos and we're like walking around pretending we were like in a Marx Brothers movie. Did nothing. You and Paul. Yeah, me and Paul.

And then Andy got this incredible gift basket that was loaded with like, I don't know, I can rent a, I got a Cadillac for XTS for a week for free. And just all this. I've always wanted one of those gift bags. Yeah, it was pretty incredible. I should just check the garbage cans outside of the Emmy's next time. Yeah. Well, I wanted to ask you about another gig you had after Conan when you were the creative director.

Was that your title at WWE? Well, yeah. WWF at the time. Actually. Oh, right. You left Conan to go there, right? Back in the day, there was no sort of titles, really. So creative director was something that was thrown, but it was like a booker.

Now there's writers and backstage producers. I kind of think I was the first. Your title was not the wrestler. No. I feel I'm the first TV writer to ruin wrestling. You know, that it's. Were you a pioneer in that way? It wasn't scripted before that.

Scripted's weird. There's a whole bunch of lingo, you know. Anyways, but it was all through Conan because actually back in the day, you know, wrestling was still looked at like as a you know inferior form of entertainment say what you will about it but i used to cast wrestlers in bits i cast a guy like the big show and used to say like and i used to always say like you know you got to have wrestlers on instead of these third rate sitcom actors for the third guest boring you know at least the wrestler's huge and you can go wow and they're generally smarter and smarter and more charming. So we had like a few successful things. And then Vince McMahon was on and I got to produce a segment.

And I was leaving the show and I was going to move out west. And then I, so I produced the segment with Vince. And I kind of, my brother had wrestled years ago. So at the time I knew a bunch of the lingo as far as like, you know're going over which means you know you lose to someone you know doing a job all this kind of stuff so i kind of like just fucked around with him and said you know what you need to do vince this that and the other thing and he was like oh really and then he actually called me and recruited me it was amazing he's like why don't you come on down to the office let's talk and i was like was like, oh my God, this is incredible. He poached you. Yeah. And then I went to his office and he's like, you want to consult on a couple shows?

I'll give you a thousand dollars a night. And they had this big book and it was so sexy. This was before 9-11. So they could do this like this, but he had this big book and he's like, pick where you want to go. And I'm like, all right, how about the heart of wrestling, the Carolinas? We'll go to Charlotte and Lexington, Kentucky. All right. And he said, like, cut him a couple first-class airline tickets. And they printed airline tickets in his office, his side office. So I left with two checks for $1,000 and two first-class airline tickets, too.

Wow. And I was like, they were really seductive. So we went, and i started like kind of thrown to the wolves like who's this guy because people don't even get to walk in his office on the road they're like who's this guy and so i started like producing bits and stuff and then the other there was another guy who was like his right hand man who then left to wcw if you're familiar with the monday night wars just and then they poached him. And then I was left alone. I was ready to move to LA.

And then I just stopped everything and said, Honey, I think I've become one of the most powerful men in professional wrestling. I've got to see this out. And I worked there for a year. And it was just unbelievable. And I still worked on and off after doing English pay-per-views and things. And I have relationships to this day. It was great. Because then after that, Iifornia where i'd worked on a sitcom and people like oh you work for wrestling i'd be like i would just be like i yearn for the professional

honesty and integrity of wrestling over this fucking sitcom room writer's room bullshit fucking goddamn pompous showrunners you know like saying the same goddamn thing over and over with your seven writing tricks fuck you yeah i remember that angry stories about right like people visiting sitcoms writing rooms back 25 years ago and saying i felt like i was in a bank meeting or something you know it's just very quiet and hushed yeah i've never experienced that it's hellish i've especially like a show that's kind of like on the on the edge you know of like is it successful or not you know and so it's always like you're just kind of beaten down yeah something that's like you know something like caroline in the city i don't know one on that i don't i'm not shitting on that but

it was on after friends so it's like doesn't matter you know it's like so is it you know we're really doing good work are we does it matter i don't know and then just like i know uh not from carolina city a story from another sitcom i won't mention it but like the showrunner was like under such pressure people were working till 3 a.m and someone said it's how insular and in the public it's like okay this new character needs a you know a love interest you know, this woman, like, so what was, should her name be? And someone said, Michelle and the showrunner in a fit of angst, like hit the table and went like,

come on, get serious. Like truly like fucked up. Like we got to get this done. And then like later, like fucking around. Yeah. Quit fucking around.

Someone like Kendra. Now we're talking like literally, I think those were the names. Like, yeah, I'm not trying to make anything funny i'm just trying to appease the showrunner so we can go home yeah at three in the morning and i've written down these like things and this is funny because this never

happened at conan because you really that kind of like pressure in that writer's room was always fun and you know it is pressure because you do a good job and there's a bit works and you're like ha ha ha ha then like right okay go upstairs you know and start you know the grind but i think yeah the fact it's over in a day is absolutely versus yeah yeah on a sitcom i would write down things that people do like uh the reiterator which is someone who just bullies their way in like someone someone sheepish might say like oh this might be an interesting thing because these it would cause friction between these two people and then the reiterator would come in and go like yeah you know it'd be like they can't be friends after this and then they would kind of just take over then they get the credit and then some showrunner like right and then the sheepish person who's all

talented be like well i guess sink into the shadows just fucking shit like that yeah it really was though like leaving Conan going to wrestling which was its own unique complete thing yeah but then going out and working on all kinds of other stuff I really did find like oh you don't know how good you have it in in a sense right you know as far as that that um camaraderie that's that's very real that comes out of like just you know five things a week at least right right the wrestling sounds the closest match to kind of like the insanity of the conan like it just the deadlines are fast and it's thrown together really fast it is it's like and then it's moving on. Yeah. It's breakneck. Were the wrestlers receptive right away to the,

like, who's this new guy? Or were they like, oh, thank God you're here. This is great. You have to prove yourself. Yeah.

Well, a little bit of both. It's such a sinister, potentially duplicitous world, but you're also like, you know, because it's like, oh,

it's a new guy. Can I get a push? Well, you know, is this going to help me? Right. It's a very weird mix of like, uh,

uh, writing for a sitcom, being on the road with a rock band, also like a sports team because there's injuries and also putting people in spots but also like casting actors so it's this weird weird mix so you know i did good because i would just kind of constantly try to help people with their their dialogue or anything funny or produce bits and just kind of like hey let's cut to the chase here let's do this and and and just you know constantly I think I got a reputation like, oh, this guy just wants to help everyone.

He doesn't have his own weird wrestling agenda. Like, you know, because they're always like, you know, oh, Sweeney's the greatest. I'm going to bury Sweeney live. Wait, this, you know, I'm going to go too long. You know, there's so many levels of weird stuff like that. But say what you will, at the time I was there, it's five original hours

of programming a week in different cities. Wow. So you're, you know, and when there's a pay-per-view that goes on at 6 p.m. and it's $35 million, it goes on at 6 p.m.

But the great thing is when you have a live, there's nothing like, oh, it's over. It's not only, you don't have to edit it or anything. It's broadcast.

It's done. It's over, you know? So it's that strange appeal, almost like SNL with like less politics of SNL too, because I worked there as a guest writer for The Rock, actually. That was pretty interesting. Oh, yeah. Wait, did we already talk about The Rock? No. Yeah. Because we, John Cena came on Conan and said that The Rock used a line that Conan used to throw around the office. Oh, yeah, I stole that, I think. It could have been.

We assumed that maybe that was you. Yeah, and I kind of, it was weird because I said, why don't you pour yourself, I think it was, why don't you pour yourself a glass of shut up juice? Yeah. And then the next, I kind of threw it out there and then I almost like, oh, I kind of stole that from Conan. Oh, well, it just went into the ether then the next week there was some fucking kid who had like a poster board and he had drawn like a glass of juice you know with his like that rudimentary drawing with a perspective and it just said shut up juice he just was holding it just like i'm gonna i'm yeah, sixth grader. I'm going to draw a glass.

I shut up. An icon was born. And then it was a t-shirt. Yeah. So you wrote for The Rock for SNL? Yeah. I was his guest writer. Oh, great.

That was pretty, pretty amazing. Wow. Pretty fun experience. I tell you, the craziest thing was in the, well, actually, Lorne Michaels was like, well, you should have a couple of the wrestlers on and they should be hit with chairs and stuff. And I was like this weird liaison. So I was kind of like, Ooh, you know, wrestlers take that shit seriously. And that's their storyline. And they're not going to do that on SNL. So I was like, so I got Vince of was

unbelievable. I almost can't believe this happened, but it's true. So I kind of was like liaisoning between Lauren Michaels and Vince. I was was saying like vince they wanted to do this this isn't gonna happen and like so vince was in new york and i was kind of like so i wrote the opening thing like is there a way we can get like the wrestlers involved so i wrote this thing where the wrestlers were in the audience was like triple h and the big show saying like oh we're gonna fucking beat your ass but you know what this day's for you so after snl's over watch out and in the meantime i'll beat up this guy and they just grab a guy of the audience and then but you know what? This day's for you. So after SNL's over, watch out. And in the meantime, I'll beat up this guy. And they just grab a guy out of the audience.

And then they had a thing where Big Show was hiding a chair. So it kind of worked out. I was like, okay, that would be the best of both worlds. But there was a moment before. They didn't have to compromise their integrity. So there was a moment before where Vince came in and he's like, oh, we're going to go up and meet with Lauren and Sandy Wernick, this huge agent. So, and Vince is like, comes in and he goes, oh, how's Lauren? I hear he's one of these chicken shit producers, huh? And I'm like, I don't know what that means, Vince. So let's go

in there. And I remember it was St. Patrick's day and we're in Lauren's office, right? Sandy Wernick and Lauren's eating and they bring the food in and Vince goes to me like, oh, that's a power move eating, huh? You know? And then I'm like. Wait, does he just whisper this to you? He whispers it to me. And literally in an aside. And I thought like, oh, that's crazy.

But after it was over, I was like, no, I bet it's true. Anyways. So, Lauren's talking, going like, well, I think we need to, if we could involve something or involve something rather and Vince there's a bunch of stickers of um clover leaves just like a you know like a weird sticker pack for some reason you know St. Patrick's Day and Vince puts a clover leaf sticker on his nose and just like leans into like Lauren Michaels uh-huh and Lauren Michaels is like and he's oh and he said you gotta eat now and with a with a cloverleaf sticker on his nose and and lauren michaels is eating that's a power move yeah and he just looks and then he just kind of like he stops and there's like no one's saying

anything and then i started like oh you know pitch something i think if what we can do if we could i started pitching my idea and then i realized like my horror, they're all listening to me. And I'm like, oh, Jesus, this is crazy. The guy with the shamrock on his nose and the guy with food on his lips. Well, I love that. Because you talked about how when you started at Conan, you felt like you were weirder or there was something that was unique about your comedy. But you found a way to integrate that into the show. That's a nice way of putting it. I was suicidal. No, there's something unique about your comedy but you found a way to integrate that into the show that's a nice way of

putting it yeah i was suicidal no there's something unique about you you brought a fresh approach to your job yeah no but you found a way you were like i'm into wrestling i'm gonna pitch wrestling bits and then that also led to a second career for you. Yeah, no, absolutely. And it all worked because, and it really speaks to like the weird openness of the show in a lot of ways. And Conan, like often one of my favorite thing to get on wouldn't even be something so weird. Because, you know, Conan would sometimes be like, you guys just want to be all weird, huh? The pressure's incredible. I got to, you know, the network breathing down my neck and stuff. He'd play that, which, you know, rightfully so.

But sometimes you get something so weird where his attitude would be like this. All right, got to go on. Like, he wouldn't even really laugh. And you'd be like, well, yeah, it's really funny. Damn it. Because it was kind of too weird. But he would just like, no, we got to do it. I damn it. Because it was kind of too weird, but he would just like, no, we gotta do it. I like it. Yeah, I've been watching some old things where you can tell in his eyes, he's just

like, all right, I'm going to read the cue cards as written. I will get us to the commercial and that's it. Those idiosyncratic things, sometimes they just can tank. I remember, I think I had the record for a couple things that were like, greatest rehearsal, shittiest show. I remember one of those. One was Cutio Gigglins, right? So it was me in a really ridiculous, idealized version of a kid with a lollipop like from a victorian era kid with a hat and a ribbon and shit and and so it was like if something someone were to attack you on the street what you know i would strangle them with a rainbow i get like weird answers like that right and just the crew everyone like oh this is the funniest character we've ever seen. And then live, just like.

It's going to be a movie soon. Live, just nothing. But it was actually my favorite laugh because it was, there was one woman in the way in the back going. And then everyone else, just nothing. I think it was edited out of the show. It was that like. But that's, I mean, there's so much that can it's and it's not the bit's fault necessarily either i mean sometimes it is but no there's so many other you're right i i tell people in fact like i've personally taken 40 of the steam out of a bit by

just eye searching for the cue card it's just like if it's like a plane at an altitude and you're just you just i search for the lines and like yeah you're just like and half a second hesitation uh sketch 40 less effective just right there or conversely or when we do like um william peterson what's the name oldie uh old we called him oldie oldie olsen i couldn't think of the last name yeah so he was just so amazing to be put into a costume so we'd put him as the erotic vampire or in thanksgiving the and the erotic pilgrim i would go up and write it in five minutes to be like okay we got the set it's amazing old he's gonna come out we'll subtitle him you can't hear what he's saying he can search for the cue cards he's got one bad eye it's just amazing and then you go like oh go write it oh shit right uh and now here's you

know with our halloween blood ever you just like whip it out didn't matter and then you know okay take it down put it on cue cards run it thing works great and then some crew guy who wrote that and you're like well i wrote it but it's like thanks to you know bobby berg and the incredible set and the frankenstein outfit that the amazing old man that you want to see so weirdly anti-charismatic if you will or whatever you know the the thing you wrote was like just so secondary yeah right no he became like a close you know we had to we'd be there late at night and we always need a closing beat, like the last joke to get out to commercial. And it started just coming down to like, what do we do?

We need oldie. We need oldie. What do we write for oldie? Because the second he'd walk out, the crowd would go insane for him. And he was on the edge because he was so unique. He'd stumble and you're like, he's ready to just drop. In fact, one time, because he had a glass eye. He was sleeping in one of the dressing rooms, you know, and poor Deb Shaw would be like,

oh, sometimes his hygiene and bring lots of powder and do that. But she just dealt with him incredibly. Like, because it was like, they put him in so many costumes. And one time she had fallen asleep with his mouth open. Right. And it was like, we looked in there like, oh, you know, he just looked dead. He looked dead walking around. So he looked dead sleeping with his mouth open even more so. And I remember Shaw, I think, went in there and someone said like, William.

And then almost that he knew that he looked so dead sleeping that he woke up like this. I'm all right. Like it's happened before. I'm not dead. Oh, yeah. I'm not dead. It's Holy Grail. Just my open mouth, dentures, and glass eyes.

Just my face. He loved doing that show so much, and he was a weird Shakespearean actor. And he was a good Shakespearean actor. Careful with that adjective, pal. But with all the crap we gave him, in down times, he'd start to launch into solo queues from Shakespeare just to show that... He was an incredible character.

And he was in Waterworld. Well, on that note, we also always like to ask our guests if they have a piece of advice for someone who's starting out. Like a baby? That might be interested in having a career like yours. It could be a baby. It could be someone who's retired from being an accountant. Well, I guess I would have different advice because it's, there's such a glut, like even, you know, even in obviously how Conan has evolved, if you will, into all these different things in the team Coco,

which you guys are and what have you, which makes sense. Cause at a point when I was doing a talk show for Orlando Jones and he was a black guy behind a desk, we kind of said at the time, there's seven white guys behind desks in late night that, you know, and there was, so there certainly is a glut and it's certainly different. And I, from my perspective in the last 10 years, everything's in such flux, your agents and managers don't know what the fuck is going on. You know, what is streaming? What's going up and down? It's always windows of opportunities open and closing. So the advice I would give is, I guess an extension of how I got into it too, is start just,

you know, proliferating your own stuff somehow, you know, whatever it may be. You know, I did a cartoon with a guy named Scott Gairdner. He used to work at Conan. Yes.

And he came out of doing videos and doing, you know, so he, there's a lot of, there's a, there's a bigger DIY thing now as far as like, and even how we did our cartoon and stuff. It's like, get yourself a $300 microphone, start editing, you know, start doing your own.

Don't wait for someone else to give you an opportunity. And Scott was a good example of like how he got, was like, hey, here's my weird videos. You know, here's weird videos. Here's weird comedy, you know, because I think of even when we were producing things graphically and what have you in in just in you know 1998 whatever that stuff can be done by yourself so easily you know and and a lot of that humor and a lot of the stuff that that i grabbed onto at conan whether like actual items strange things in that mindset and producing it can we go down to kevin franks and hey do this and that do all that shit on your own do just get diy and and and that way you have stuff to instead of like looking for the job which is so difficult you know or you know and there's tons of people i know even

rooms that i run where like people are like they can be disgruntled to be like i'm just looking for sitcoms especially when it used to be like, hello, year 1999, comedian, development deal, 90 sitcoms, pilot season, and now like reality TV came and you know what I mean? Right. How many shows are there? And like, you gotta just do your own stuff and do it in every direction, I think, you know. Real advice. What do you think of that? Real, solid advice advice it's great advice

yeah thank you tommy you're welcome thanks tommy do you have anything else when you uh well uh yeah instagram curtis the dog with a k that's my dog's instagram oh yeah uh one word curtis the dog dog fluencer oh yeah he's the greatest um found him on the street in LA like 14 years ago. So that's the only thing I like to promote is his Instagram. Well, anyways, I want to thank you guys for being on or having me on. Thank you. Thank you. And that was Tommy Blacha.

Thank you, Thomas. I'm so glad he stopped being a weed dealer. Yes. And that was Tommy Blacha. Thank you, Thomas. I'm so glad he stopped being a weed dealer. Yes. To be a TV writer. Yes. Although he might have made more money on the weed. And better residuals.

Yeah, that's true. Whatever that means. We have a voicemail question from a listener. Wow. Take it away, Sean. Hi, Jesse and Mike. I'm a huge fan of the podcast and of course, all the Conan O'Brien shows, podcasts. He gets enough attention though. So enough about him. Although I say that and my question is, has there ever been a particular prank that was pulled on Conan that he didn't have any foresight on and that really got him? And was he mad? Did he find the humor in it?

Was he mad and then he found humor in it? I just I really loved hearing Brian's story about pranking seemingly everyone on the show. And I was just curious if there's ever been something like that planned specifically for Conan. Thanks so much. Bye. Thank you. Anonymous voice.

What a lovely, lovely voicemail. That was really nice. Yes. I miss voicemails. No one ever leaves me voicemails anymore. No. Oh,

I get one, but it, but it's in a foreign language or it's about the warranty. Or ask me to update my warranty. The warranty is about to run out of my car, which doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's a great question. It is a good question. We always would talk about pranking Conan by like bringing an elaborate sketch down to rehearsal. Right. that was just for him but then it always was a lot more work to put that together than we had time for but it's always fun to talk

about it it was it was fun to talk about it it was putting on an entire fake sketch in rehearsal that would outrage him yes and then somehow revealing that it was all a prank. I mean, we could have just said at the end of some sketchy hated, but that was a prank. I should have thought of that. Another prank that we never did. It's not really a prank, but it was. What is a prank? What is a prank? There was an old idea to have the writers all wear like the same color jumpsuits, like blue jumpsuits. Like Squid Game? It's not much of a prank.

I did think of one thing though. Do you remember, and I believe Conan's talked about this a little bit, but when David Letterman sent him a horse. Yes. That was a prank. That was a straight up prank by David Letterman on Conan. And yeah, Conan's talked about it on, I think he talked about it on Colbert. And then there was a little back and forth over the horse. Custody of the horse.

Yeah. All that stuff. Well, yeah. I mean, I remember being there that day and it was like, oh, there's, you know, David Letterman sent a gift because I think Conan had written a really nice piece about Letterman leaving. Right. The air. Letterman leaving the air. Letterman was stepping away from the late show on CBS. Yeah. So I just remember us all going outside to see what Letterman had sent.

And it was a little trailer and they led like a really small horse out of the trailer. Yeah. And Conan was... Dumbfounded.an was dumbfounded he was dumbfounded i think he was trying to think like wait is this referencing yeah exactly something or you know like is what's is there a joke behind the fact that a live horse has been deposited no no no just that was the joke that there was no reference yeah he just said's, thanks for the great article you wrote. Here's a horse named Dave. And there was a real cowboy there who said he drove it all the way down from Nevada. Oh, wow. It was in the parking lot right outside our studio. Yeah. Well, then it kind of started

to dawn on him like, well, now what do I do with this horse? I have to keep a horse alive. He had a horse. Yeah, that was the first order of business. Well, and I'd heard that he, yeah, he found a stable and paid for the horse's room and board. Right. For someone to exercise the horse. Well, the rumor I heard, I think right away, it was kind of like, hey, this is hilarious. But then grabbing the cowboy and saying okay get this

horse out of here yeah yeah and the cowboy was just like oh no this is i can't i have orders and then there was a rumor i don't know if they from somewhere that the cowboy that the not the cowboy that the horse was insane it was a horse that no one wanted or could take care of and so i think the the rancher was like oh no you yeah it's this or the glue i am not driving another mile with this insane animal behind my truck there's just hoof marks it punched through the side of yeah well then i remember hearing that letterman was like oh you didn't have to keep the horse right why did you keep it right yeah and conan was like what else was i supposed to do well there's horse recycling in la on thursdays if you put it out

orange bins yeah and then i i know conan did a a where, that I shot with him, where he returns the horse to Letterman. Like he puts a UPS sticker on it and we see it walk up in a UPS truck. Yeah. That was Conan's like response. Yeah, I think that's when Letterman was like- Still in that truck.

I was like, you know. Get rid of it. That could be medicine for, you know, Joe Rogan. We should find out if the horse is still alive. And if he- We should have the horse on the podcast. Yes rid of it. That could be medicine for, you know, Joe Rogan. We should find out if the horse is still alive. We should have the horse on the podcast. Yes, of course. One of our best guests. Well, we would also occasionally prank each other in the writer's room.

Right. Todd made that. Todd Levin. He made a great fashion blog about our head writer, Matt O'Brien. Yes. Being a clothes horse. Right. Because he'd wear kind of plaid shirts to work every day.

Kind of lumberjack-y shirts, right? Yeah. So just a similar lumberjack shirt and a pair of jeans. And then he made a fashion blog about this. Right. I mean, I made that calendar for you. Oh, yes. I love that calendar. When I realized

I had 12 photos of you wearing the same shirt. The same polo shirt. Or versions of the same. You have like six of them in different colors. Yeah. I've got more than six. I don't want to brag. Okay. And some of them don't even have stains on them. I haven't worn them in two years. You have like a business polo. I think I stopped wearing them. And a black tie on them. I haven't worn them in two years. You have like a business polo. I think I stopped wearing them. And a black tie polo. I stopped wearing them when you gave me the calendar. Oh no, I made you self-conscious. That's okay.

It's good. It's good to move on. Now you can make a new calendar of my V-neck t-shirts. My Simon Cowell look. Oh, this is really, I honestly don't remember the details of this, so it might not even be worth it. Yeah. But on my first day of work on the show, Michael Gordon, one of the other writers, told me to tell you that I was friends with somebody.

Yes. That you guys had in common. Oh, wait, that wasn't true? No. I don't even remember the name of the person he told me to tell you. I do. And what a great prank. Oh my God, that prank is just now being fully realized? Yes. Seriously. He was playing the long game.

Wow. That's awesome. That is a seven-year prank. Oh my God. I really. That's awesome. That is a seven-year prank. Oh, my God. I really... That's incredible. I watched what I said about that person in front of you

and I was also kind of like... Oh, my God. I was a little... Disappointed? I know. I was like, damn, I thought she was great.

Well, now I want to know who it was because I don't remember at all. I'll tell you off the air. Oh man, that's, okay. So he told me to tell you I was friends with someone who- Are you serious? Yes.

Oh my God, that's a great prank. Oh, Gordo and I played a great prank on each other for years. Yes. There was some fan drawing of Max Weinberg that was really weird and disturbing. And somehow. Oh, yeah. I kind of remember this.

Somehow it became a thing where we'd leave it for each other. Oh, yeah. In different places. And it was kind of like tag, you're it. Like you'd be stuck with the drawing. And then you had to figure. and this was a long game where sometimes like two years would go by before you'd drop it off on the other person. Oh, that's great. So who has it now?

I might have it. But I remember once I sent it to him in an envelope from a law firm. Like, I think he was dealing with a law firm over something. Oh no. And I found out the name of the law firm. So I knew he'd open it right away. I even wrote a fake legal letter and I put it behind the legal letter. I think that was one after I had it

for like a year and a half. And then another time he wore one of our giant costumes in Chicago, like the Sears Tower. And I, and you know, there's a little face area where you look out. So I slid it up in the costume so that it was covering his eye slot. So when they put him in it right before he had to go out on stage, he had Max looking him right in the, like two inches from his face. Oh, this is so good. But he got me back in a lot of great ways. He, somehow someone got it into my luggage on. He paid a TSA. Yes.

And then one time we were coming back from like the Emmy Awards or something and I found out ahead of time which car, there was a car service picking him up and I found the driver and I had it put in the window of the backseat for when he got in the car.

Oh, this is so great. There were a few more, I think. Oh, man. Yeah. Ah, that's going to be on the inside of your coffin. God damn it, Gordo, you win! Well, hey, thanks for that voicemail. And anyone else who wants to leave one,

the number, and we're not going to answer, so don't worry. It's 323-209-5303. Or you can email us at insideconanpod at gmail.com. And yeah, we're always looking for more questions. We are. Oh, but hey, so we have another little piece of business. We are not very good podcast hosts in case that wasn't already abundantly clear. Here's another one of our crimes. We never ask for ratings and reviews. Yeah.

And we're supposed to be doing that. And most people do that every episode. Yeah. We thought we'd go a different direction, but now we're being told. We have a thousand ratings and we'd love to get that number up. To a thousand and eight. To a thousand and eight. ratings. And we'd love to get that number up. 2008. 2008. So if you are enjoying this season so far of Inside Conan. Only if you're enjoying it. Only if you're enjoying it. Yeah. I mean,

if you are still listening at this point, I'm assuming you're enjoying it or you're trapped under something heavy. In which case we'll send help. Just go to iTunes, click five stars and then write help and your address and we'll send help. Just go to iTunes, click five stars, and then write help and your address, and we'll send somebody there. Thank you. Thank you. And we'll see you next week. And? We like you.

Inside Conan, an important Hollywood podcast, is hosted by Mike Sweeney and me, Jessie Gaskell. Produced by Sean Doherty. Our production coordinator is Lisa Byrne. Executive produced by Joanna Solotaroff, Adam Sachs, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco. Engineered and mixed by Will

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