Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - ALAN RITCHSON: Biggest Fear with Reacher, Blessing and Curse of Bipolar & Connecting Through Pain

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Alan Ritchson (Reacher, Blue Mountain State) joins us again this week for an open an honest conversation about his current mental health coinciding with the industry validation and massive success of Reacher. Before Alan gets into the idea that he is more than just his work and his role on screen, he discusses the importance of focusing on now and showing yourself compassion - in relation to the difficult physique transformation he’s had to adopt. We also get into the pros and cons of his mania, our ability to connect through pain, and the pivots he’s had to make heading into Reacher Season 2. Thank you to our sponsors: 🚀 Rocket Money: https://rocketmoney.com/inside 🧠 Neurohacker: https://neurohacker.com/inside ❤️ Betterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/inside 🟠 Discover: https://discvr.co/3Cnb1V8 🏈 PrizePicks: https://prizepicks.com/inside __________________________________________________ 💖 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/insideofyou 👕 Inside Of You Merch: https://store.insideofyoupodcast.com/ __________________________________________________ Watch or listen to more episodes! 📺 https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/show __________________________________________________ Follow us online! 📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🤣 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@insideofyou_podcast 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/insideofyoupod 🌐 Website: https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum, and Ryan's not here again for the second week. He's hanging out with his dad and playing some music, and we miss him, but we also have Bryce here. Bryce. Well, hi, thanks. Thanks for all your hard work, man. Of course. You see my face more than anybody. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm sorry. We got a great guest for you this week. Boy, is it a really great guest? It's a really good episode. It is. If you're here for Alan Richardson, listen, I hope. that if you love it enough, you'll say, I'm going to give this podcast a chance. This is a little podcast that with the patrons who support the podcast, patreon.com slash

inside of you, our loyal listeners, uh, have kept this podcast afloat. And, um, if you like this episode, I encourage you to just subscribe and listen. That's, yeah, if I'm giving you some entertainment and you like it, give it a chance. And if in some way you're here for Alan and you didn't hear his first appearance, listen after, because that's another one of the best. episodes it really is it really is in this episode i didn't think it could be any better and he gets into some really important things that i was blown away by that makes me put bipolar in uh it puts it in a different perspective because it really makes it was easily

understood he made it put it in layman's terms he uses a word like um it shouldn't be called bipolar it should be called unipolar and i just found it really interesting um how he describes it. Yeah, it was interesting hearing him talk about it with his family dynamic too because he's not just a guy with bipolar. He's also a father and a husband. It's interesting. Absolutely. If you want to follow us, which is important at Inside You Podcast on Facebook and Instagram at Inside You Pod on the Twitter. And you can watch these episodes on YouTube for the time being. And I encourage you again to join Patreon and support the podcast. There's so many perks. I write your little messages. I send packages of things. There's Zooms. There's

There's YouTube lives. There's with me where you ask questions for me. You get to ask questions on shit talking to guests. You get your name shouted out on each episode. A lot of perks and you help out the show. I figure if you're getting Hulu for $14.99, you could be a patron. Yep. Right?

For whatever. $0.49. $1499. Boy, would that help? But there's all different patrons. So whatever you can do. Or just listen, honestly. um great episode and uh you can go to my link tree lastly before we get into this episode on

instagram at the michael rosenbaum and it has everything my cameo if you want to do cameo if you want to see what cons i'm going to my live podcast with christin ritter breaking bad jessica jones be in apartment 23 she's my guest at a live podcast at the regent theater january 24th 730 p.m or 7 p.m look at it on the instagram link and there's a meet and greet with me and christin and much more so get tickets it will eventually sell out i'm hoping um and that's that and the inside of you online store has a bunch of groovy stuff too so without further ado let's just get into it let's get inside of alan richson it's my point of you you're listening to inside of you with michael Rosenbaum

Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience First of all, it's a happy birthday. Your birthday's in a couple days here. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, that's sweet of you. 40 years old. I'll be 41.

41, so I'm 10 years older than you. A little over than 10 years. Gross. You're so fucking handsome. I mean, do you? Do you feel 41 or do you still feel like you're like in your 20s or 30s? You know, I mean, no, dude. I've aged so much.

Life has not not necessarily. I mean, definitely, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm settling into a body that doesn't do things like it used to. In fact, I just put a post up on Instagram about a run that I went on where I was really wrestling with sort of the, just, just being content. with what I'm able to do these days, you know, and part of that is because of age, but part of it is because of the size that I'm at now. You know, I used to run a lot, you know, but for a guy who in my 20s and early 30s,

really, I would go rip like 13-mile runs just for the fun of it around the hills of L.A. and like run really quick clips. I can't do that kind of stuff anymore. Like now it takes a lot of effort for me to run four or five miles and it's painful and it leaves me sore for a couple days. And, you know, that's age. you know, but there's also, you know, there's also the life experience that I've had and there's been so much of it. The work, the jobs that I've had where life has taken me, the problems that

I faced at home and at work. And it's all helped me really settle into this place where I'm like, you know what, I'm a middle-aged man now. And we've got to learn to take things slow. we've got to learn to accept other people's best and that might be average you know it's a conversation i have my psychiatrist all the time average is hard average is hard and i feel like i've been given a motor that that burns above average like at a speed that's too much for most people to handle um and a mind that kind of races at a pace that's like a lot faster and so it's hard to slow down for people sometimes, you know, and go like, okay, let me let them figure this out. I've already thought about this. And learning, you know, like, learning to be content

and grateful for the gifts that I have and accept just all the people in my life and how different and diverse they are. It's just that that is what, you know, I feel like a middle age man now. Well, I'm 51. I'm 51. This one comedian says, I think I've said this before. for but he says you know uh they say when they say 30 is the new 20 they say 40 40's the new 30 but when you 50 you just 50 no nothing new about that shit the only difference is you got to grab that railing would you is that yeah you know you said something you wear it real well man you well look this is this is happening the day after thanksgiving so i am just i'm like in a cloud like all the food and my friend made jello shots and I had some pot taffies and I just had fun and I karaoke and I

so it is then so 50's the new 20 is really we should now it's coming full circle well 50 might be the new 20 last night but the day after is 50's the new 80 because that's how I feel I feel like every like my neck my back wasn't there a song my neck my back we can't say yeah I didn't say it I didn't say it Kids watch. But you said something important a second ago. You just said, you know, in layman's terms, it was something like you just do what you can. You do your best. You don't need to push yourself.

If you're in pain, like, you know, I just, that's what I got from. And I'm like, hey, whatever I, you said, like, whatever you can do is what you do. It's not about, oh, I have to be this guy. I have to be able to run 13 miles. It's like, hey, if it's a half a mile, a mile, I'm doing it. I'm feeling something. I'm going to go back. I'm going to home.

I'm going to rest. I'm going to ice. I'm going to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. I mean, I'm guessing that's what you do because you said something with your size. No, totally. Yes, yes. I mean, there's like, you know, people talk about the power of now all the time, right? I mean, we've got the Eckartollies of the world shouting from the rooftops that we should focus on the now.

Well, what is the now? It's meeting ourselves where we are in that moment. And we have to bring some compassion for ourselves. There's a lot of love in being willing. to meet ourselves where we are. And for the longest time, I would punish myself with the kind of abuse, like even in the gym where I go like, if I die on this treadmill, I've won. That was my mental philosophy working out. If I die doing this workout, I beat the game like I won. And there's no love in that. There's no love in that. So we've got to find the fine line between pushing

ourselves to be better tomorrow than we are today, but we can get there by finding compassion for who we are and meeting ourselves at our best, where we are right now, you know? So, yeah, that's important. And where I'm at right now physically, you know, I'm wearing a lot of weight for the role of reacher. How much do you weigh? Two-40. Wait, 240, what? Well, 240. I mean, I'm probably, actually, you know, I've been working out pretty hard. I'm probably 245 now, but I'm a little heavier now. But yeah, that's a lot of weight, you know, so like for me to be running around the hills, um, not easy what hurts what a what a what a big guys uh you know you got a lot of these guys like

my friend dave batista and you got jason moa and you got because i really put you on that you're on that tier to me you're like uh you're super talented and your comedic timing is amazing so i'm like you know i don't want to get into that i want to get into your trajectory and all that but in terms of like your size like is it really hard on certain parts of your body to be that big I think it's hard on the heart. You know? I mean, think about like, so there's a couple of things that I start to feel. It's the lung capacity feels like I just can't keep up, you know?

Like I did sprints this morning. And it's just amazing how quick I'm like, oh, like really winded. And it wasn't always like that. But I'm trying to get a lot of oxygen to a lot of muscles. But, you know, I weigh 240 pounds. And I'm, you know, if I'm climbing, there's some hills out here where I am, where I'll run these hills. If I'm climbing up a hill, it's a little bit like doing lunges for 20 minutes straight.

I mean, for most people, throw 280 on your shoulders and do 20 minutes of lunges. Your muscles are going to explode. So I feel like when I'm running, I start to feel my muscles aching just because it's like, it's just, I'm pushing a lot of weight one step at a time, you know, without breaking. And you feel that. So it's tough. You've got to make adjustments when you're wearing. in this kind of size. And some of the guys you mentioned, like Mamo and all them, you know,

you know, he's got his out. You know, he's like a world class rock climber, you know, so he's, there's some activities that he does, like insane, like a spider monkey, you know, but I don't think he's out there running, you know, so I've got to make some, you know, we've got to make adjustments for that kind of thing. Do you think that there's a time in your life where you'll sort of, I mean, because to maintain that, and a lot of times you look at these guys And they'll go, if they ever stop working out, well, they're probably going to be fat. Yeah. Right?

So it, I had, have you ever had a Dexa scan? Uh, no. What is that? Do you know what that? Do you have you, a Dexas scan is, um, a fancy new scan, a little bit like, it's kind of like laying in an MRI machine. Oh, Prunvo. I did per Nuvo where a body scan.

A body scan, right? And it'll tell you your muscular composition, your body fat composition. It tells you like, you'll know all your size is measurements, but you'll also get your chloric values. So you're going to know exactly what you need to maintain your size if you want to gain weight. So for me,

I'm just shy of 4,000 calories a day just to maintain. Just to maintain. So if I stop working out for a little bit, and I'm still on that, you know, I've trained my body to eat 4,000 calories a day. It would take me about three weeks to blow up, you know. So it does take a lot of consistency. I work out five days a week.

You know, it's got to be a lifestyle. But what we talked about last time, I think I mentioned last time we spoke, which, by the way, I'm so grateful to have been a part of this once before. Yeah. I have so many people stop me. Not about Reacher, not about Thad from Blue Mountain State, which I get a lot of. Stop me just for the conversation that we had together on your podcast. Me too.

And I think it really touched a lot of lives. And I just think it's, you know, again, just to be a great. for what you do. Thank you. And grateful to be here again. But the last time we talked, I think that I think I mentioned that I had just started taking testosterone. Wasn't that true?

I think so. I can't remember exactly, but maybe. Yeah. So I had just started. So after season one, I'd broken my body. I remember. I remember. And trying to carry the schedule that we had.

And I had a broken shoulder. And I was taking a, you know, a very powerful inset for that. And all of it together. collectively just killed my testosterone. So I had to get on testosterone because my blood levels were non-existent. Since then, I still take testosterone. It has made life so much easier for me in my 40s to do the things that I need to do for my job, like keep weight on at 240 pounds of like solid muscle. So that's a big part of a secret. And I'm not going to lie about that. No. I want people to know because I want people in their 40s, late 30s, early 40s

to know this is a legitimate opportunity for us. Like we should, it's like a cheat code, but this is your body's, you know, this is your body's own material. Yeah. So just help you know what I mean. This is good stuff. You know, working with the doctor, get your blood. If your blood levels are fine, great, you don't need it.

You know, there are side effects to be, you know, it's hard on some of the organs if you aren't careful. What's a good level? What's a good level of testosterone? Like, there's normal levels, levels like up to like 1,100 or whatever. Like, what is. I think the numbers changed. I understand.

The way I understand it, the numbers have evolved down. So I think it used to be between like 500 and 2,000 was like healthy levels. I think it shrunk a lot. I think now if you're like in the 1500 range, you're really high. But I think you want to be some, I think you want to be somewhere between like 500 and 1,000. And I'm sure some people will correct me and I hope so. And so we stay right at the upper end of that scale. Right.

with my doctor but it's um it's it's it's it's made it so i don't have to put so much wear and tear on myself um in order to grow or develop or maintain you know so it's um it's a big part of it yeah and i want to add to the uh the conversation that we have because it was unexpected it was one of those things where you and i are talking the first conversation and then you open up about how you know you almost tried to end your life and i was shocked taken aback and also i felt this wave of just appreciation admiration and boy do people come up to me as well and tell me how just how much they were affected by it and a lot of people don't open up and i and i it's not a prerequisite for to come on the podcast that you have to just get you know throw everything out but you're that

kind of guy you're that you know since i've known you you're just sort of this is this is me and i'm flawed and uh you know we all make mistakes and we all have dark times in our lives but i got through it inside of you is brought to you by rocket money i'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money period it's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings this is just some wonderful app there's a lot of apps out there's a lot of apps out there that really you know you have to do this and pay for and that but with rocket money it's they're saving you money you're getting this app to save money um i don't know how many times that i've had

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Press 1 now if you want, oh, get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your accounts, if you're close to going over budget. And even when you're doing a good job, Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions. With members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum in the survey so they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum. Rocket Money. Inside of you is brought to you by Quince. I love Quince, Ryan. I've told you this before.

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with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash inside of you for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash inside of you. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash inside of you i got through it and you you speak so openly about it that i you know when people ask me what's your favorite podcast episode this has got to be up there i've done over 300 and i'm like

this is this is certainly you know which shows just shows how much pain we're all in right like how much we all suffer to figure out how to make this work you know um or how to um you know create the least amount of trouble for other people, or however we go about thinking about our escapism, our wishes, our fantasies, our sins, like whatever it is that we get into, you know, we're all really struggling to figure it out. And to withhold the truth about what I've experienced, I think would be living a huge lie. And I think would be missing the entire purpose of life, which is for us to figure out how to enjoy this together, you know, to connect. with one another and that's not my like natural disposition like I'm I'm like a really reserved person in

life you know and it's odd because I you go like well you chose a career where you like way out front in front of a lot of people but that I was just an opportunity to go like oh I really do enjoy I really love what I do I love being on set in front of the camera figuring out how to master this character or story I could completely do it in isolation if I could take care of my family with a living I could do it in isolation where nobody sees it and I've be just as happy. I don't like the fame. The fame aspect is super toxic, man. And so I don't, you know, I don't like that. But, but I will use it if it will bring us closer together, if it will help us heal, if it will help us feel safe or like understood or less alone. And

I think, you know, I don't want to talk about it any more than anybody else does, but like, I have to make myself uncomfortable and go there. Because nobody's going to connect with me over like money and be like you know like look at how much money i'm making dude i'm doing so good like everything's so great i got a family i got this i just bought a PS5 like nobody nobody's going to be like i feel so seen yeah that's not what we connect it where we connect through our pain truly if we really want to we have to connect through our pain and no one's going to start that conversation for us we have to be the one to start it in our personal lives we have to be willing to have deeper conversations where we go you know i've been through some really tough times here's what i've learned and then then somebody goes

me too that's where that's where that's where the you know we crave the deep connection people talk all the time about we're so torn apart we're so divided our country will never be the same man it starts with us in these little conversations that are honest yeah you know um last night and this is this is uh air airing a little later but it was thanksgiving and i told you that but it was the first time i always every year we go around and say what we're thankful for and I couldn't there was 27 28 people over my house and we're in the back and I said everybody come on and it was hard to gather them and like no no come out we're doing this we do this every year we're going to do it we're going to be thankful you know Farley asked and I and I had everybody go around and talk and I I never do this but

I went to each person and said what I'm thankful for. I've never done that. But everyone, we went around and at least five people opened up and were crying, which a lot of people started crying about, you know, they just, you know, my friend Alex lost her dad recently. You know, there was all these stories. And it was just so beautiful to see because everybody's like, oh, I just want to say I'm thankful for this and thanks, thanks, Michael, for being here.

it just felt it felt real it felt every it just vulnerable and raw and as much fun as we were having and all these things it was just a great moment and I love to see when people can be so so just true not only to themselves but in front of others and it was a beautiful thing so it takes so much courage it takes so much bravery um to to discuss even the simplest pains, and you leave feeling like you know them better, right? Like now you really know them, you know, we know the thing that's behind a lot of their motives to be kind, you know, to be quick-witted, to be short-tempered, whatever it is. Like, you know, once we start to know people's pain, we really start to know them.

And now we can understand and now empathy can enter in and all of it, all of it. Yeah. But, you know, I think it's our responsibility to be like you did, to foster that conversation, you know. yeah it was awesome it was truly awesome you know i look good for you i want to we can get in all this stuff again but um so your publicist sent me the screener for reacher and i love the first season and i love the world that it's in and it's like and i'm not i mean i want to toot your horn because that didn't sound right that didn't sound right that's it's fine i'm with it you can but you you are the glue everyone around you's all great

but like it's so fun to watch you i'm waiting for your little smart ass remarks your little your little subtle things your little but like even in this first episode which airs december 10th on amazon is that right uh December 15th 15th December 15th okay um and you don't need to tell people to watch it because they're going to watch it um i just felt like another gripping story you're watching you're watching it all come together and there's this twist at the end where you're just like going oh now I know we're in store for the rest of the season and yeah it's and by the way my friend joe's out there with my dogs helping me out today and he's also a fan so it's like it's pretty cool when around me all my friends are fans of this show but yeah it's you it's like it's like

this is like the perfect role for you and it's you're the badass you have heart you're a vigilante I mean, you do, you do good things like, you know, the old woman at the, or the woman at the, uh, the cash, the ATM. And it's, there's a weird thing because you're not being too sappy or too, you're doing something like, you know, that's right, that you know it's right. Right. You're taking care of business, but you're still in your own. It's, I, I really love your character. I think it's so good.

And that's why when I said, Jason Mamo and DeBatista, you, you, you can be doing. all the things that they're doing you should you you will have the movie career because you have that and that's a charm and that's something I believe that's innate and something that you just have that you've always had inside of you but now you've gotten to do a role where you're not just the asshole you know this guy right now you're playing a a dynamic character that you just shine and you don't even have it seems like you're not even trying which I love you're not overdoing it which could easily be done and turn viewers off your character stays yeah i mean he's also you know he's it's a dangerous character because um he's he's so stoic

and in his own head uh you know his mind working like a computer all the time um and he's so kind of emotionally unavailable compared to most yeah most human beings it could leave i mean my big fear was that i would not be able to create an interesting character for the screen that people would be like bored out of their mind watching the show because this guy's not charismatic or interesting enough because there's physically externally there's not a lot going on until there's just until there's an explosion of action that we kind of look forward to but really he's a rather still character externally and I'm glad to hear you say that you enjoy watching him so much and you feel those layers that are going on you know but

yeah it really is a dream role and it's one of those that I just sometimes I do sit back and think like I am so lucky that this role found me and I get to play a role I feel like I was truly born to play you know there are others you know there's a lot of scripts that we're a part of attached to right now that are characters nothing like reacher that I cannot wait to explore and showcase but this this one I think will always be like Jim just the corner of my career yeah and i think that um i i know for a fact that we talked about you know you just mentioned that your shoulder you were exhausted you were doing all this you were stressed out of your mind the first season and it was just like i i remember talking to you at a con or something you're

like dude i don't i don't know if i could i don't know if i could do this man i don't know if i could do that i mean this is like holy shit uh what changed from the first season the sex sex season, second season, where this, yeah, the sex season was a lot more laid back. Yeah, a little more sexy. Inside you is brought to you by Rocket Money. If you want to save money, then listen to me because I use this, Ryan uses it. So many people use Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions.

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for 20% off your first purchase. That's BOMBAS.com and use code audio at checkout. ever wonder how dark the world can really get? Well, we dive into the twisted, the terrifying, and the true stories behind some of the world's most chilling crimes. Hi, I'm Ben. And I'm Nicole. Together we host Wicked and Grim, a true crime podcast that unpacks real-life horrors one case at a time.

With deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink to take the edge off, we're here to explore the Wicked and Reveal the Grim. We are Wicked and Grim. Follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform. but what changed in the second season where um a lot a lot i mean look we you know we i have a great team around me and you know you mentioned like you mentioned really enjoying the story and the show and the character and his mannerisms and like the witty like smart-ass remark he makes that kind of you're just you're waiting for him to tell his honest truth and those things that you're enjoying

you're really enjoying the minds of my creative team that's around me um nix santora the showrunner who does an unbelievable job bringing the Reacher to life that we know and love of the books. And it's difficult adapting that to TV and he knows just how to do it. And I'm fed by him. You know, and Don Granger at Skydance and Dana Goldberg at Skydance, all the executive partners that are like really making sure we're picking the right books and all the, you know, adapting it well for TV. Sam Hill are producing director. You know, there are people around us that people cannot appreciate the way that I appreciate them that are making Reacher. what it is for people to enjoy.

That has to be said. So there's that. But we all collectively have figured out things that worked and didn't work about the first season and have pivoted. And also the pressure of the season, going into season one where everybody was like, let me whisper to you what Reacher would do in this moment.

And then I'm getting me getting that from 20 people at every take. It was exhausting. Frustrating. And it was necessary. But I don't have that because once the season came out, everybody goes, we found it. And now there's this like just this level of enjoyment, you know, where that pressure is gone.

And now it's sort of like we get to enjoy seeing what Reacher would do in these situations as we make this thing together. The pressure of like, are you Reacher? Are we telling? Are we showcasing the right image for Reacher, the tone, the personality, the voice, the mannerisms, like, are we making Reacher come to life on screen has been solved? You know, we're confidently settled into who this is, and I understand this character now and what, you know, so it's taken, it's just made it a really enjoyable process now.

Well, it seems like a lot of the stress, like you just said, came from uncertainty. It came from, did you go home at night sometimes? and going, I just, I don't know if I'm giving them what they want. I don't know if this is the guy. I don't know what I'm. Did you carry a lot of the stress, a lot of the weight on you? No pun intended. Man, I always felt like at the end of the day, because I worked so hard.

People have no idea, dude. I set up entirely new methods for how I can learn scenes so that I could learn everybody's line, including mine. So I would learn not just my lines. I would learn everybody else's. And by knowing the scene that well, it gave me the opportunity to have 20 people tell me how they want me to do the scene and to pivot and do it that way. So I left so many options on the table season one. There was no question about

like, did I get the right reach? I knew there was some version of reacher there. You just had to take your pick, you know, and that that came from the work. So it wasn't, you know, it wasn't so much that. It was just, um, uh, just, uh, just the sheer, the workload that it took to, uh, to be able to honor that, that necessity, you know, it was, it was a lot. It was a lot. And that part of the process is gone now, you know, so now I can approach it much more like any other project or a film, you know, and that's, it just helps, you know. Yeah. What about the family, like your family? You've got, you still live in Florida? No, I just sold my place in Florida. Yeah. All right. So you're gone.

Yeah, gone from Florida. I mean, look, here's the thing. I, um, since, came out. There was this moment, you know, I, I fought really hard for Reacher. It took months and months and months to convince everybody that I was the guy. You know, I was passed on the first time I think I mentioned to you, maybe last. I was passed on in the very beginning, beginning of the process, like everybody was. And I think that was because I'm 6-3, Reacher 6-5. I think they were trying, you know, everybody's trying to get a super authentic version of Reacher on screen. And so there's always kind of an asterisk in my mind, you know. when it comes to this role.

But I had to really fight for that. And now that we're in it, it's exploded, like the careers exploded because of what happened after Richard aired. Beforehand, we were waiting. The whole town was like, let's see what happens when it airs. There was months of silence.

Nobody was picking up with a phone. There was no conversations about scripts. It aired. And within 48 hours, I had 20 offers on my desk from the biggest producers and studios in town. And it hasn't slowed up. I mean, it's like every day we're getting phone calls from some of the most legendary

people you can imagine. Give me one. Give me one. So I did a movie. Okay, so I did a movie with Jerry, Jerry Bruckheimer produced, a guy Ritchie directed called Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare. This is a movie I did for Lionsgate, Domestic, and Amazon International. So some partners that I knew and have relationships with on this and some new relationships

formed. This movie is so good. I cannot believe. This movie is so fun. There's nothing like it. It's like Guy Ritchie at his best. Based on a true story, there's World War II heroes who were essentially the first special ops.

It's a told in Guy Ritchie's style. Wow. It's super cool. I just went into that feeling very lucky to be a part of this cast, you know, Henry Cavill and Alex Pettifer and, you know, Henry, just a great, amazing cast. Jerry Bruckheimer calls because he saw the movie, just a few days ago he saw he saw a cut of the film and um you know he said we have to do um we

have to do something together like with you out front come on um i know jerry a lot of time on buddies with him name drop but like you like jerry for jerry to call someone to call and you know how like like like a high adventure like nobody does high adventure better than this no no and uh and it's it's the toughest genre to make i think and um you know for him to call um you know for him to call um you know, one of the most legendary producers of all time, you know, you get those kind of calls. It's like, there's just no better feeling, you know? And it's because of Reacher that those kind of calls are coming in. I wouldn't have done that job if my career had been fueled by Reacher.

And Jerry is like the kind of guy. He's so soft-spoken, he's so intimidating, but such a sweet guy. But he's just like, and when you meet him, I remember the first time, because I, you know, I had this, I was in this hockey league. I'm still in the hockey league. And it was Jerry Bookheimer hockey league on Sunday nights. and I've done it for 25 years. And it's producers and actors. I'm like, you know,

Kiefer Sutherland and a bunch of, you know, and then pro players would play and it was competitive and fun. You know, the first time I go, Jerry, hey, thanks for having me. He was like, you know, he just nodded. And then a few months later, I'd be like, hey, Jerry, he's like, how are you? And then a year later,

two years, three years was like, hey, Michael, he knows my name. Four years. Hey, Michael, you know, conversations and slowly I built this little friendship with Jerry and you know where we'd go and you know if you'd like to fly with us in my private jet to Vegas. I'm like, yeah. He goes, would you have to see the event? And so like, I'm like for Jerry to call you, you guys don't understand.

Jerry Brookheimer is not someone who just throws out compliments and throws out like for him to say, and I want to work with you. We're going to do something else. We're going to, I mean, good for you. good for you oh thanks man thanks i think that's an awesome i'm so happy because i know how hard you worked i mean i saw all the shows even small it was like one of the beginning things and then all the little guest stars you did and even up to like supergirl and titan or uh legends of tomorrow and all these other things you did it's like you work and you work and you know that you believe in yourself and you go i'm bigger than what i'm being offered i'm bigger than this and you know it and the people who represent you know it but you're like no you don't understand it i i've had those

feelings and then when you suddenly get validated for me it's it's it's like it's almost like your dad who never says any says hey i'm proud of you it's like it just validates everything you've been thinking and it's such it's a beautiful thing and it's it's well-deserved it is a thank you but you know what's funny clowns buddy it is a beautiful thing i am you who are you're hilarious. You know the secret to getting to that place for me was realizing I am bigger than my career, not in an egotistical way, but right, I am more than just my career. I had this, we may have dabbled in this last time we spoke, but I had this moment. of existential crisis where I had to ask myself honest questions about who I was and where my

identity lied in my life. And at the time, it was in ambitions. It was in material things. I had been making a lot of money. And I was surrounding myself with things that made me feel like, you know, created the illusion of success, success in the world's eyes. And my career was my fixation. And it was when I decided. I'm more than my career. What if my career were to disappear tomorrow? It happens to people all the time in our business. You're like, what happened to that guy?

They were the one. They were the star. They were out front. And now they're working at Starbucks. Nothing wrong with that. But like they disappear from in front of the lens. And suddenly you're like, what are they worth now? You know, we are much more than our careers.

we are so much more than our careers we sell ourselves so short when we settle into a job and say like this is who I am right now and maybe someday you know maybe we have a dream that someday we'll be will will have an identity that's a little bigger a little bigger maybe I'll be a painter someday I'll have my own gallery and that's what I'll be we're more than that we are more than our art we're more than our our highest ambitions for our most creative like we are, I think we are spiritual beings and that we should be thinking about like higher minded things. You know, that's what love is, man. It's this thing that floats above the whole world and says, like, how can I actually serve this place and these people that don't really want to be served and that don't serve me? You know, and when we start thinking that maybe that's who I am,

My highest self is that guy, oh, so hard to meet that person, so hard to be that person and so worth struggling to be that. And suddenly, I'm not thinking about my career. And when I stop thinking about my career and thinking about how I can advance myself, it exploded, dude. It exploded. I swear to God, I was like, I started doing these little Insta Church videos that were more for me because they ground me.

we all know that when you teach a subject is when you truly know if you understand it and it helps you cement your understanding of it and so for me it's a practice of like do I know this subject does it make sense to me can I explain it to somebody and also sharing ideas that I think are fun to talk about that nobody does because they're not commercial but I started doing that and I told my wife before I posted the first video I said I want to make sure you're okay with me never working again in the business.

Like if I have to be a plumber or something to make ends meet, because I have a feeling if I start posting these videos, people are going to think of some kind of nut job and I'm never going to work again. And she's like, I'm with you, you know, and like, this is you being honest and authentic and I, you know, I like what you have to say and go for it. You know, so I had her support and I was like, all right, I'm never going to work again. And and it was it was entering this space through that honest, authentic place of like, of, of, of issuing an identity that was wrapped in career that then the career takes off. It's the most bizarre thing that life does for us when we let go of what doesn't matter, you know, and that that's been my experience.

You know, hey guys, I'm doing another live podcast downtown L.A. at the Regent Theater. and my special guest for January 24th is Kristen Ritter. Breaking Bad, Jessica Jones, this is going to be a sold-out event. I know it. It's going to be exciting. And there's a meet and greet and so much fun that's going to happen. January 24th, so make sure you get tickets as soon as possible. Downtown Los Angeles at the region.

Inside of you of Michael Rosenbaum with special guest, Kristen Ritter. I'm so excited. on a on a similar level i do feel like you know because my whole life i was you know not my whole life but since high school theater and college and plays and off broadway and movies and tv and i got to a certain point where i'm just like something's missing i've been chasing this and i've had great success and i'm very grateful but i'm still empty and why is that it doesn't make sense like people look at you and you're right they you know you have a little money you have nice things you have a good friend you have a career what why what is it and that's doing the work

and that's working on yourself in which i have done but also obviously learning love yourself which we talk about a lot which is very difficult because you know if you grow up not feeling loved and not feeling like you are worthy or good enough than how you have to earn it how the hell so you have to stop and go hey i'm not i can't blame this anymore what is the issue how do we fix this and when i started doing things and this wasn't that long ago i took a little break from acting for a while and i did like little you know like you know some things but i thought try doing things that you really like that you really love doing passions and all of a sudden in the last year or two these passions have turned into things inadvertently oh that's great you know it's like i go i

always wanted to write a kid's book i and i sold it and it's going to be out and i'm like you know i really want to do this fun you man you know i want to do this fun thing and by the way it's the first time in my life that the process is just as fun as the outcome if not more i'm the process i'm because i used to be like okay 14 hour day today oh what time is it's okay i only have six hours left i have the i am just enjoying the moment moments and whether something amazing happens financially or whatever i'm doing them because i enjoy them you know i came out yeah i seen on the It's amazing. It's an amazing feeling. That's when you know you're being true to yourself. When you're being true to yourself, the process is the enjoyable part because the life is the process. Then life is working, right? It feels right because you're being true to yourself. That's, that's big, man. It is. That's like 50 year old wisdom right there. Dude, it's taken me so long. And look, I have a long way to go. But now, and I'm trying to do things like say no. If you just don't want to do something, if it's fear, that's a different story but if you don't want to do it because you're like there's just not an

element of fun in that or there's not something that that i can have passion for then don't do it unless you have to do it you know right to pay the bills or whatever but i'm starting to just relax a little more i'm starting to not get anxious about every fucking thing um it's look i'm on a I'm on a better path and because I was on a dark path like you I hit rock bottom and I went to a treatment center for three weeks and I I just started opening up and talking about life and boy did it turn me around it just it wasn't like holy ship it was like I faced a lot of things that I'd never faced and that's what life is life is it's a journey and um I just I'm I'm happy that I finally see the light.

I finally see, like, being enjoyable, having, doing enjoyable things that are things that I'm passionate about. So I, I, it's amazing when you, you're right, when you stop, when you stop trying so hard and you stop thinking that I get this part, my agent's going to be happy, everybody's going to be happy, I'm going to be, look at me, look at me. but then it's then one now you have to do the work so you're doing it or who are you doing it for what are you doing it for admiration adoration um but when you can do something and go i want to do this and i'm probably not going to get any adoration for this who cares i want to do this yeah

i'm going to make a fart book yeah a fart week is good we need more farmore yeah and so i i think that's a beautiful thing and it's nice to see that you've you've come around because you've had more struggles than most people, if not all the people that I've interviewed. I mean, and you also talk openly about bipolar, right? I do. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and, you know, bipolar is a funny thing. Bipolar is a terrible name for bipolar. What should it be called? It's a terrible name. Unipolar. Unipolar. It should be called unipolar. Everybody else is bipolar. So if normal, healthy people have an experience throughout the day, right? They're coming home from work. They had a decent day at work. They work hard. They feel accomplished. They're driving home. Somebody

cuts them off in traffic real bad. Gives them the finger. Don't even understand why. I'm going the speed limit. Right. They feel put off and they're like, how do they? Like, that's so rude. People in L.A. are so rude. They have this feeling that's like negative towards that experience and maybe, you know, opens up feelings of like insecurity or rage or whatever. But they're still sort of in that place where they're like, but I'm going home. Oh, well, I can shake it off. And I'm going to, they're existing in two places at once. They can exist.

Most people can exist in two places at once. Like if shit happens, there's still some part of themselves that's okay. With bipolar, you can, I personally cannot experience two states at once. It is one of the most intense versions of that experience that you can possibly imagine. So if most people have 99 keys on the keyboard and the lows are real low and the highs are real high and they can enjoy all those, right? And we can sort of play in that range. For me, it extends as far as the eye can see deep into the horizon where it curves and wraps around the edge of the earth, right? Those keys still go.

Some of those are so deep that it's impossible to pull yourself out of. and you need help from a team of people. You need medication, right? But I can't possibly experience those extremes and also do what people tell you to go. But just think about all the things you have to be grateful for. Play this key up here. Just play that key. Let it pull you out.

No, dude, there's no just playing that key until life stops hammering that base tone for me. I can't come out of it. And there are times when I have this kind of out-of-body experience when I go, I should let go of this feeling. Like, I have to let go of this feeling. My family needs me. I need to be present with my family. There's got to be a way out.

It's like I'm talking to myself going like, please. And it just won't, dude. That is bipolar. That's bipolar. It's unipolar. It's you are going to experience immediately the most intense version of whatever your experiences and it's it's authentic and there's no lying about it it's so complex and deep those feelings that um i can't act like i'm not feeling it and so that's really hard for people

and it's really hard for my family because like if i'm upset because of my kid the other day okay so i've got three boys they're 11 nine and seven uh my seven year old's just a few days behind me his birthday so he's about to be eight they're very sweet boys i'm so grateful for them. They're wonderful young men. But they were mad at me because I told them to go to bed and put their stuff away, the stuff that they were doing. And my littlest said, F you, dad. I had had quite a day because I was out in the countryside for work at a place with no Wi-Fi. And I had press stuff. I was talking to this. I was talking to Associated Press and I was talking about Washington Post and all these things that were supposed to be on camera, these interviews. And I couldn't get a

signal, dude. And it was so frustrating. So I'm dealing with that. And then my kid tells me to F off because I asked him to go to bed and I like lose my mind right and I can't pull myself out of that place to go like he's just a kid I experienced the feeling of a kid telling me to F off and that feeling took over and there was nothing else but like an hour and it took me like an hour to finally kind of like take it off dude it's fucking the worst it is so what is give anything. I would give anything to not be bipolar, but yet it's also the fuel to what I do in my craft. I can experience things as a character because I can tap into such wide-ranging emotions so deeply and authentically so fast, it's what makes things like Reach are interesting

for you to watch. So it's a blessing and a massive fucking curse, dude. I give anything to not be bipolar. Wow. No one's ever put that in perspective. And I just was, that is so, so gripping and so it's it i i understand it's like the motherfucker just cut me off i'm gonna fucking dude dude could have a gun come on you're not that guy you're too old for this shit i have that voice yeah yeah you're like no i'm gonna go fucking talk to that he could shoot you so when you get upset you just kind of like do you catch yourself going no you never talk to me like that again and then you're yeah you know that's what you need so so as a bipolar person i need resolution I have to have resolution because I can't just leave things on the table.

That's why I talk to, dude, I have so many hard conversations with the producers I work with, with the creative teams I work with, with executives at studios that I work with. These are corporate executives that are not used to like an actor calling you and being like, I need to have an honest conversation with you about this process. This is not working. And let me tell you exactly why it's making me hate life right now. And we need to find a different process. I have to have those conversations because I,

cannot be free of that terrible toxic feeling that is attached to the anger or whatever, the contempt, until we've figured it out. Like, it doesn't just go away. It lives burning hot until it, you know, until it's figured out, you know, until it's figured out. You know, until it's figured out. And, you know, the highs are also dangerous. You know, it's dangerous to like live in those highs for too long. You know, you start to get, you know, they call it delusions of grandeur.

You know, you start living in this place where you start. feeling invincible and making terrible financial decisions or whatever because you feel you know it's dangerous on either side we don't want to be like we want to be fluid and and it makes it very very hard to do that and so one of the one of the fixes is having very difficult honest conversations to find resolution that doesn't even make sense for most people like why do we have to talk about this let's let it go yeah i can't just let it go right let me just ask you this briefly we can move on but because this is just fascinating is it because no one's put in perspective like this, Sean Asson talked about his mother and people have talked about it,

but no one's ever really made it like in layman's terms. That really just really resonates with me. Is it something someone could tell you, hey, you're having an episode or hey, you're being this. It's like you see what you're doing right now. Can you control this? Has anyone ever said that? Does your wife ever do that? Yeah. It's usually not like with such confidence like, hey, you're having a moment right now, it's usually a question, are you taking your medication right now? Which also sets me into a spiral. Like, I hate being asked that, you know? Sometimes I've stopped. But, okay, so for bipolar, there is a list of symptoms. And you are in an episode, usually hypomania, mixed episodes are more common. But if you're in an

episode, I think you have to have four of these coexisting, this confluence of symptoms happening at any one time. You can be in a bad mood or you can be irritable or you can have reckless suspending or you can be losing, you know, you can be kind of having insomnia. All those things that are telltale signs of mania, they can be happening. I had a really hard time sleeping two nights ago and it, you know, it's concerning. That's a big red flag, man. When I stop like when I stop sleeping for no reason, that usually is a sign that mania is on the way. And for it to truly be a manic episode, it has to be a confluence of these things. So what we have now is a list that I also have a psychiatrist that gets eyes on me once a week, you know, and that's a really

important thing. She can see sometimes my speech is not, it's not the same. It's much quicker or more clipped or my ideas or thoughts are much more yeah you know i'm like popping lily pads to different thoughts or ideas and you know she knows how to see all the signs so she's a bipolar expert so you know yes um those questions come but usually it's about like how many other things right now do we think might be happening one of the weirdest you don't know one of the weirdest things that that is a symptom for me of um mania If I wake up one day and like three pairs of shoes show up from like Amazon, you know, like boxes show up on my doorstep, I know that I'm, we're well into a mixed

episode. Yeah. It is bizarre, dude. I have thousands of shoes. And I, the other day, we've gotten really good at recognizing, oh, that's actually, this is mania. I don't even know what. Dude, I didn't even know I bought shoes the other day.

But I woke up. I must have been up at night, transfixed. hyper fixation is a thing right so hyper fixated on shoes bought a bunch of shoes i woke up and it was like on my phone right and so i was like horrified because i was like oh god i bought like three of the same shoes so you don't even remember it no i didn't even remember it only proof i had was the receipt being open on my thing and so i told my wife i was like i think i'm manic and i got my doctor on the phone and we started talking about all the other things and she was like you're for sure into a mixed episode right now. And so we talked about upping my medication a little bit. I'm on a bilify.

And it helps. By the way, what milligram? What milligram of that? Well, I'm super sensitive, like unusually sensitive to medicine. So a little bit affects me. Like the very first time I took it, it was like an introductory baby dose. And I was like drooling on myself. And I swear I would never take it again. I was like this like, you want to kill me to my wife? You want me dead. And she's like, no, we don't. We just want to help you. I've never taken this again. And then we, so I was like, I am never taking that medicine again to my psychiatrist. And we went like three or four weeks where she was like, okay, we'll find something. I started to have a real manic episode. And she was like, I think I just please try them. And so I took it

again, but during a manic episode, and I was like, oh, okay. I feel totally normal now. It worked. I just took it at the wrong time. And we ease into it that way. And so it's a small, it's one pill, it's one two milligram pill is enough for me to sort of like, you know. And we would increase if things are like really going haywire would increase. And it was just.

But since having eyes on this, since working with a psychiatrist who recognizes those symptoms, since reading a million books and being very open about it with my wife, we've learned to see the signs. And it's a language. And we started to speak the language. And so when, you know, we can approach it in a very different way where we go, like, I think we actually need to have a conversation about maybe upping the medication right now and just pulling it in, you know. I love it. So it's helped a lot.

I think, you know, I hate the idea of sitting in front of psychiatrists and being like, you know, just gets her magnifying glass out and puts me in our microscope. Like, I get enough people looking at me and touching me. I walk in the mall and like people are like whispering and put. I don't want people looking at me anymore. And I willingly subject myself to somebody going, let me look at your eyes right now. I don't want to do that. But you know how important it is. And it's saving my life.

It is saving my marriage. It's saving. Like, it's worth it. So anybody out there who's like, I don't want to do that. It's long. Like, if my life fell apart, which I could burn it to the ground real easily, and I've tried so many times, it would not, then I would be begging to go back in time and work. with a psychiatrist who puts me on a microscope for an hour a week, you know.

I just want to encourage people who are out there that maybe have some of the trademark symptoms or signs or are in danger of that kind of thing. Before you burn the house down, like, you know, just get a team, get a team around you that can help you recognize these things and work with it. Or in general, go to therapy in general. I think therapy for people in general, if you're going through anything, you know, just having someone to talk to and bounce. I've talked about that a million times.

All right. This is, thank you so much for opening up. This is, this last 20 minutes is just, I'm so engaged that I could talk to you forever. And I'll bug you in another year when season three comes out. This, man, this is, this is so good. I just, you know, hearing you open up about this stuff. So Jack Reacher, Amazon Prime, December 15th, season two, I got to watch the first episodes. And let me tell you something. you're going to love it he is more charming uh there's a new story which i love a great twist at the end some real good ass beatings some heart um you know i have no doubt this is going to be a bigger success than than last year i'm so proudy i'm so happy for you thank you and i'm proud of you for more more than all the you know accolades and the jobs and all this that you're just authentic you and you're working on doing all these things. I can see you're always working on being a better husband, a better father, a better friend, a better. So, you know, it's giving me this time with you is, I'm forever grateful and I appreciate it.

I hope you come back. Thanks, man. I can't wait to, I can't wait to do it again soon, man. I love talking to you. And again, grateful to share this conversation with you in front of your audience. I look for opportunities to open up and it's hard and you've given me one. So thank you. All right.

Love you, buddy. Thanks. Jack Reacher, December 15th. Make sure you watch it. I can't wait. Please watch. Love it. Love him.

Alan, you're a damn gem. I thank you for coming on the podcast, taking your time. You're a machine, my friend. You're an honest, loyal machine. He's jacked. It's like a mountain. of a man his arm can fit in my torso kind of vision visualize that i don't want to i don't know what that even means but thank you for being so humble and open and uh charming and super talented

so there you go yeah he's uh he's just an awesome guy i mean i'd say this is easily top 10 episodes of all time like him as a guest i mean i told you what i love to is hearing guests talk about previous appearances and being noted for that. And it's not just like, hey, Alan, I loved you from Blue Mountain State. It's like, hey, I heard you on inside of you. Yeah. It really helped me. And like, oh, that's rad. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I think it's just fantastic. And if you missed out on all the things I'm saying about the podcast and all that and what it did, just go to the intro and listen to it. It's very quick and educational. And thanks for listening. And again, if you like this episode, please follow us and please support us.

and listen to more episodes. A lot of times you think you're listening to whatever. Oh, I don't know this actor. I'm not going to listen, but you learn so much from different people. And it's an education. There are a lot of good ones this year. Yeah, we've had a great year. And thank you, Westwood, One, for all the hard work and getting us sponsors and also keeping us afloat with the patrons.

We do appreciate you. Teresa, Brittany. You guys rock. I don't think they're listening. Anyway, there we go. Now it's time for the top tiers. These are the top tier patrons. Uh, and here we go.

Patreon.com slash inside of you, Nancy D. Leah and Kristen, Little Lisa, Uquico, Jill E, Brian H, Niko P. Robert B, Jason W, Sophie M, Raj C, Joshua D, Jennifer, N, Stacey L, Jamal F, Janelle B, Mike E, L Don Supremo, 99 more, Santiago M, Chad W, Leanne P, Mattie S, Belinda, and Dave H. Dave Hull. I love my Dave Hull. Shilichi, Bretti, Bray Harada, Sabitha, T, Tomin, T, T, Saly M, Bitsi D, Rian, C. Corey K, Dev Nex, and Michelle A, Jeremy C, Brandy D, Joey, M, Eugene, and Leah,

Corey, Angela F, Mel S, Christine S, go ahead, read a couple. Eric H, Shane R, Andrew M, Amanda R, Kevin E, Stephanie K, J, Jore L, Jammin, J, Leanne J. Luna R. Mike F. Stone H. Brian L. Jules M. Kendall Lull. Jessica P. Lowercase Kyle F. Marisol P. Kiley J. Brian A. Ashley F. Marion Luis L. Romeo, the band. Frank B. Gen T. Nicky L. April R. Randy S. J.D.W. Oral P. remember that toothbrush oral b yeah but i've never seen this name before oral oral oral oral oral p so i can maybe it's aral aral aral okay ginger somniac rachel d melissa h nick w stephan and evan charlene a don g and jennie b we love you that's for sure um thank you guys i appreciate you more than you know um so from micha rosam i'm here in the hollywood hills of Hollywood, California.

I'm Bryce. It's just Bryce, baby. In the same place, obviously. You are. A little wave to the camera. We love you. Thanks for listening. And a big episode coming up next week.

You do not want to miss it. If you like movies like The Matrix, if you like movies like Bill and Ted, if you like a movie called Sweet November that I was in with him, this person, and his band's here too. So you might want to stick around. Be good to yourself. We'll see you next week.

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