Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Andie MacDowell

Episode Date: September 3, 2019

Andie MacDowell (Groundhog Day, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Ready or Not) talks about the harsh reality for the careers of actresses in Hollywood, being tired of the negativity on social media, and some untold stories with former co-stars Gerard Depardieu and Bill Murray. Andie also opens up on the trauma she endured growing up with her mother’s mental and substance abuse issues plus her father’s absence, and how everything helped mold her into the “survivor” that she is today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ontario, the wait is over. The gold standard of online casinos has arrived. Golden Nugget Online Casino is live. Bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class gaming experience right to your fingertips. Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting, signing up is fast and simple. And in just a few clicks, you can have access to our exclusive library of the best slots and top-tier table games. Make the most of your downtime with unbeatable promotions and jackpots that can turn any mundane moment into a golden, opportunity at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Take a spin on the slots, challenge yourself at the

tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort of your own devices. Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Gambling problem call Connects Ontario 1866531-260. 19 and over, physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggett Casino.com for details. Please play responsibly. Reading, playing, learning. Stellist lenses do more than just correct your child's vision. They slow down the progression of myopia. So your child can continue to discover all the world has to offer through their own eyes.

Light the path to a brighter future with stellus lenses for myopia control. Learn more at SLOR.com. And ask your family eye care professional for SLOR Stellas lenses at your child's next visit. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Hi, guys. Make sure to listen to our new podcast. That's, don't worry, inside of you is not going away. But in love with Michael Rosenbaum and Chris Sullivan, please subscribe.

Please write a review. It's a lot of fun. And it's about being grateful. It's about what you're in love with. And now, back to the guest from inside of you today. I've known her for a while, but I really didn't know her until today. And boy, did I find out a lot about it. her Andy McDowell doll. We're going to get inside of Andy McDowell today. And boy, I couldn't believe

she was so open. She was so, she's so down to earth. And, you know, she talks about her relationship with Bill Murray, which I think is just fascinating. You could see how much she loves and respects him, but also was intimidated by him. And I think you are really going to enjoy this one. Let's get inside of Andy McDowell. It's my point of view. You're listening to inside of you. With Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. This is exciting having you here because I've known you. How many years, Andy?

Maybe 10. I don't know. Something like that. And we met at Echoes of Hope. Correct. Stacia Robatai, one of our good friends and Luke Robitai Hockey Legend. They started a charity, and it's for foster youth. And you should check it out as Echoes of Hope, and it's fantastic.

We've been doing a long time. But you always come to the events. I was a make-believe coach. You were. We play these hockey games at the Sundance Film Festival. Yeah. And you come and you're like one of the assistant coaches. Yes.

I did it with Stasia, but I really, I don't know anything about hockey. So I just pretended like I knew what I was doing. Are you attracted to hockey players or more intellects? I think, unfortunately, I'm attracted to hockey players. Are you? Such a shame. Yeah, but I like, you know, I like to have a conversation. So then that always backfires.

Now, I'm not to, you know, that's not fair because I think some hockey players can have a conversation. Oh, yeah, there's a, there's some really smart. There's a guy named George, uh, George, something that he went to. Okay, don't worry. It doesn't, sorry, George Paris. Uh-huh. He went to Princeton.

Oh, there you go. He was a fighter. Yeah. He's a player, but he's a fighter, but he went to prison. Smart guy. Sounds like a perfect man. Right. But I just don't think, you know, how lucky.

Have you been out with an athlete? You know, I have gone out with athletes as well. that you can't have a conversation with. So that would not be stimulating for very long. I mean, unless it's just for one purpose. In terms of dating, because I felt a little bit when I'm clear your throat, when I met you at Echoes, I was like, oh, my God, this is Andy McDowell. She's one of the most beautiful, talented women, people I've ever met.

Keep her one. There you go. I'll go on. But I remember immediately, I was like, oh, my God, this is Andy McDowell. Everybody was excited. I remember I was emceeing, I was emceeing the thing. Yeah. And I remember just being nervous.

up there like oh crap i gotta be really funny i don't i you didn't come across as nervous i thought you were just either come across as funny no you were funny yeah yeah but we always had a little fun thing oh yeah it was just like a very playful friendly uh i was too old for you that's so cute have you ever gone out with a younger man i have yeah i dated actually i dated a guy who was 11 years younger than me. Not serious. It wasn't a serious thing because I was lonely, really. I was lonely and he was an athlete and I'm very athletic. So that's probably, it goes back to why I like hockey players. How old was he? He was 11 years younger than me at the time. And he was an iron man. So he was in really good shape. And he was just fun. It was just an accident that I met him and we just started

hanging out. It was just one of those things. It wasn't seriously dating anyone. It wasn't like, It wasn't like that. So you were dating him for sex? No, I really wasn't dating. Because you're not that kind of woman. No, I wasn't dating him for sex. I was dating him for activities. Well, one of those activities could be sex.

Yeah, and that was part of it. You wanted to play how? How did you want to play? I wanted to, you know, ride bikes and literally play, ride bikes and hike and run and cross-country ski and stuff like that. I just wanted to be active and go out, you know, play. I still do that. So the older men not provide that. Usually they just, they work.

They provide some intellect maybe and they get boring. Do you get bored really easily? My thing is I really don't date a lot. I haven't dated very much at all. I think it's hard in my position, for starters. I think it's hard to. Why being so beautiful? No, no, please.

No, I think because people see you as a movie star and it's hard for them to relate to you. And I think it's just, it makes it harder to meet people. I dated someone, you know, it was older than me, but I didn't sleep with him. How old was he? 13 years older. Too old. I'm sorry. It was just too old.

What are you going to, what are you going to do? I only did it because a friend of mine connected me. And it was a sweet person. What do you mean what are you going to do? They have Viagra or whatever. They have blue chew, which I've used. I wasn't interested. You weren't interested in.

Yeah. Really, the people that I want to sleep with, I'm afraid to sleep. sleep with. That doesn't make sense. But like, let's say I go on a set and I see some young looking guy and he's flirting with me. I'm afraid to sleep with him because like, is he going to go tell everybody? I slept with, I slept with Andy McDowell. I just don't want to be the local gossip. I would never. And I told this to a friend of mine and they were like, it's so the opposite for a man. Like, you know. Guys don't talk shit. Well, no, no, no. Like a guy goes on a set in my position who's famous and has some young chicks

hitting on him. He doesn't sit there and go oh gosh, I don't worry about what she's going to say. He wouldn't give her rat's ass. He'd be happy. You know, say what you want to say. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. It's true. It's so different. And I think we're so trained. We're so trained

that I wouldn't want people to feel I was like that or I just wouldn't want someone to I would feel violated by that person even. It would just it's just ingrained in me and my soul that um Andy that's it sounds like that's the southern girl and you like to only have sex with men who you're going to be with no it's not even that I may not be a smart man Andy but hey I've got a decent sized house I think it would be

more fun to sleep with someone now that I don't have to have a relationship with I wish I could get there I don't know what to do I wish I could click something in my brain and walk into the bar and have the bartender flirt with me, which I have had happen, and just go, okay. I'll bang the bartender. Let's go do it. If you go from banging no one to a bartender. I wish I could. Every bartender listening to this is going, please come into my town.

I really wish I could. Or just like, I don't know. I mean, anyone that, like, you know, looks at me like that. You know what I mean? It's a certain look, you know, you see it in someone's eye. What is that what called? Is it the F-Me-look? Yes. You just, you know, someone looks at you and you know, you know what they're thinking. And you're thinking the same thing. And then I'm thinking it. And then I go, oh, shit, man, I can't do it.

You think too much. But that's probably why you don't have VD. You know? Probably. Probably. You want to be able to turn that off. You want to be able to say, you know, I want to sleep with someone. Yeah. I think that would be nice. I wish I didn't have all this shit in my head. I mean, when's the last time you had a relationship? I didn't, by the way, I didn't think we're going to talk about this stuff, but I should have known. Okay. It's been a long time. It's been a long time since you've had a relationship. It's been a long time. Yeah.

Do you miss being in a relationship? I don't know that I miss being in a relationship. I think relationships are really hard. I miss having sex. I think it would be fun to just like find someone I could have sex with and feel okay with. Really? Because you don't need to get married because you have three daughters, right? No.

I do not need to get married. You were married. I have been married. Yeah, you were married for a while. Yeah, I was married for 14 years with the father of my children. Right, right. And then I had a very brief nervous breakdown and married somebody else. Okay, hang on a second.

Well, you can't just skip over a nervous breakdown. I had a nervous breakdown. We can't just skip over. Okay, well, I don't know if that's really what you would call it. Out of body experience. I would say really how, what it felt like in hindsight, if I was to describe it, is it really wasn't a nervous breakdown though I wasn't saying um my 10 year old took over my and was in charge and she was completely in charge now I was still semi-present but I was definitely in the background

while she was doing everything and she did some weird some weird shit she really did she she found a way to connect with someone that she thought was respectable and she loved their family. And it looked like it would make sense for her to be with him and kind of like put her life back together because her life had fallen apart in a way that really was making her feel completely unstable, unstable. And she sought him out, connected with him. Both of them were drinking a whole bunch, both of these 10-year-olds, because I think he was a 10-year-old too. They were drinking a whole bunch, too. And then they got married. And I had a gigantic party. About 300 people came, my closest friends and family. That's what my sisters and I call it, my great big party. We had this gigantic party, and I got dressed up in a wedding dress and walked down the aisle. And it's all surreal to me. It really was. I don't know how it happened or why I did it, but I did.

Wasn't it like three months after you met the guy? No, I'd known him my whole life. I grew up with him. That's why the little girl thought it would be a good idea because she really loved his family, and I could put my family back together. And it could be, you know, the white picket fence. But we really, honestly, didn't have much in common when it came down to it. Like, once it was settled in and I kind of was waking up going, what did you do?

How did you know? What was it? Was it one thing in particular? Was it just a lot of little things? A lot of little things. Like the flags were flying. Right before I got married, I went to my sister. I said, I'm making a big, fat mistake.

I realized that I don't think he was really marrying me for the right reasons. I don't. Why was he marrying him? I think out of desperation, too. I think things had gone wrong with his life. And he, you know, kind of the same thing. I think his 10-year-old was in charge. I just so many things.

Just so many things. Like, I love art. I remember towards the end, he came to visit me. And we were in Canada and I was working on a movie. and I love to go to museums, and I took him to his art museum, and he was so depressed. I don't know what this sounds stupid. But it was just like, we're so different. We were so different.

He, you know, he was the kind of person that got excited about going to a football game. And if I tell you, I mean, really how crazy it was because. Was it any kind of verbal abuse or anything? Oh, no, no, no, no. Was it just kind of nice? No connection. Just no connection. No connection.

No, it was complete and utter chaos, drinking way too much. You drink a lot. Not as much as him. I mean, I was driving because he couldn't. But I drank too much. I drank too much. I was a bad time of my life. You don't come across as a drinker.

I'm not a drinker. I'm not a drinker. Here's what happened. Oh, my God. Okay, so when I went through my divorce and my child took over, I moved into this neighborhood where I, you know, I didn't finish college, so I didn't like to get, have all those years of, like, partying and doing jello shooters. Jellow shots. That's whatever.

Jellow shooters. So anyway, I moved to this neighborhood where on the weekend, this is what people did, right? Right. And I kind of bypassed all that because I started working when I was 20 and I was very boring. Like I would work all day, go home, walk my dog. eat some vegetables and go to bed and get up, work the next day. And that's kind of what I did. I had a, you know, really plain, boring, but very professional life. Right. So after all this time, and then I had kids and I was like, you know, the sweet mama, whatever. So I moved back to North Carolina

where these people just get drunk on the weekends. And I was hanging out with them because, you know, hey, I'd just gone through a divorce and they were inviting me. So I went. And then I found the perfect person to fit in with that group, which was this person. And so I was like, you know, belonging. And it was just a catastrophe because it really didn't last very long, like a year of that and I was done. And what year was that? 2001. Yeah, 2001, because we got married right after 9-11. It was right. We got married right after that. We were only together a year and a half. And here's another crazy thing. During that year and a half, I had three miscarriages. And I know. It sounds terrible, but it was painful at the time.

I'm just so thankful. It was a terrible thing to say. I'm glad I didn't have the children because... You weren't ready. No, I just, you know, they, it would have been wrong. It just would have been the wrong thing. I have three beautiful kids. And we were not meant to be connected.

We were not. He has gone on with his life. You haven't talked to him since. Have not talked to him since. Could you imagine having to still talk to him and deal with that? That's what I mean. And it's not like I dislike him or whatever. I don't dislike him.

him. I wish him only the best. And it's, it's just that it was not meant to be. I don't even know how it happened because it was crazy times. He was crazy too. Well, it was physical chemistry though, right? No. What the hell weren't you thinking? I told you. It was a 10 year old. It was a 10 year old. She really just wanted family. That's all she was caring. That's all she cared about family. She was freaking out over family and what family meant. That is all she cared about. And I really feel like it wasn't me, completely me. It was a part of me, but not the person who's present here having a conversation with you.

I have to say also, you're pretty damn resilient. And I say that because I've watched a lot of interviews with you, knowing you a little. I mean, obviously we don't know each other. I think we're really learning a lot about each other, or I'm learning a lot about you right now. Would you like to interview me, Andy? Yeah. It was more like Paul Lynn.

Are you as, are you as open as I am? I'm very open as my listeners all know. So this is good. You're probably thinking, God, I'm getting kind of deep. Are they going to like this?

Is that what you're thinking? I don't know. This is my tendency. I don't know. I can't help it. No, I love this. And I noticed that because you've faced a lot of stuff. Look, I mean, I look at your career and it's like,

holy shit, you know, you're beautiful. And then all of a sudden you went through the, whole thing where you really wanted to act and then they were like oh you know models aren't smart that was the whole mentality and you went through that whole thing you had to prove yourself and then you did uh uh gray stroke stoke gray stoke where my where's my mind at gray stroke you did that and then they they dubbed your voice with glen close after the role and you were devastated and anyway look i'm fast forward you turn your life around you said i'm not you faced all this adversity all this bullshit what people thought everybody was in your face and then you ended up

started getting movies again and became one of the biggest uh movie stars around so you've been around you know what i mean and i think you have to have something inside of you that is just like unstoppable that is just like this i don't know this ferocity or some sort of uh are you are you insatiable are you is it just uh i would say because i you know i've done some therapy you know i have worked on myself a little bit and i have been told told in therapy that I'm a survivor. And all the stuff that I went through when I was a child, which was not easy. My mother was, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I don't think she was schizophrenic. I'm going to tell, I have to tell you this. So anyway, after she had me, she had a

nervous breakdown, which is probably why I translated my, whatever my thing was to a nervous breakdown. But mine was not the same as hers. Hers was much more intense. And, um, she was sent away to put in an insane asylum in the mouth. How old were you? I was a baby. I was an infant. And she was given shock treatments. So she was there, I think, a couple of months.

And my dad went to pick her up with a bottle of champagne. She wasn't really a drinker. And then she became an alcoholic because there was no support system for her when she came home. It was like, you're fixed. That was how people perceived. the whole process. You know, you go to one of these places and you're fixed. But of course, we know now that's not how it works. And it could have been from hormones, you know, after having the baby, sometimes you get sad. It's your hormones are messed up. But I think it was more

complex than that. I think it was circumstantial. My father was not being faithful. And I think there was a lot of heartache in the family and having four daughters. And the other thing that was really weird that I picked up from my mother's from years and years of listening to her talk and the whole thing with role playing for her. She hated it. She hated the role playing of what was forced on women at that time. She was really smart. She went back to school. She got a degree. But there was all these formalities, especially in the South, which is so weird that I moved back right back in the smack in the middle of all of that during this time period of role playing. It's how it's this female role, what you're supposed to do. You know, you're

supposed to always be pretty and you clean the house and you cook and your children look perfect and you sew and you make your smock dresses and you show up at the country club and you look perfect and you know you speak a certain way and you don't talk about politics and you don't really know anything and the men have to be the smartest and and that's still going on it's still I moved right back in the smack in the middle of that hoopla stuff I kind of was reliving something an experience that I had as a child in a way but I was going to try to try to make it work out better this is way too complex I don't even know if you're following me I am following you all right but anyway, all of this that I went through.

And then also because my mother became an alcoholic and she was an alcoholic the whole time I was growing up, I was her caregiver. I took care of her in so many ways and became very codependent. And it's known, you know, we ended up working in McDonald's together. That's out there. It's a much more complicated story than that. And she, you know, I would get a call and she'd be in jail because she got a DUI. So you were taking care of your mother at what age?

Tiny. Like I remember being four or five and being at the piano stool and praying that my dad was going to get home because my mother was just flat out drunk. And your dad was a drunk? No, and my dad was not drunk. He wasn't a drunk. Well, he's the one who greeted her with the champagne at the when he picked her up. It was just a dumb idea. It was just a romantic idea. Like, you know, he's going to have a romantic experience with his wife. He's just had a nervous breakdown and shock treatments. So he picks her up at the hospital with a bottle of shampoo. campaign so he was normal i don't know he was ultimately he was i mean was he a good role model i'm thinking my dad was a beautiful man extremely beautiful and um you say beautiful what do you mean beautiful inside okay he was handsome handsome like we would go places and people would say are you a movie star or stuff like you know he was six foot three and extremely attractive but uh was he he a good role model. He left and he married someone else and moved away. And I think that was a really bad choice personally. I don't think I would make that choice. I know most women would

make that choice back then in particular. And men no longer feel that, you know, that they don't have a responsibility to their children. But I think back then, they really got away with a lot. they could justify their actions and leaving you know how old were you when he left he left when i was six how do you i mean you seem like you've always been together but you're you know i'm not saying comparing you to me but like my friends always think i have everything together until i say yeah i'm going to a wellness facility for three weeks or what's wrong so what i'm saying is like you you look like you you know you don't sleep around you you're a good mom you did you just learn from Here's the thing. I don't sleep around enough. This is the problem.

Enough. You don't do it at all. I don't know. That's the problem. So, you know, there's, you know, there has to be some kind of balance here. But you have a mom. That's just a mess. You got a father who leaves you at six. I mean, you have abandament issues. Maybe. Maybe. What the fuck? I don't. I don't know. I really don't know. I have abandamint issues when my assistant leaves at five.

I think I have codependent. I think I'm a codependent a little bit. I give, I think I have bad boundaries. I give people too much of my space a lot of times. I give up way too much power. Those are my tendencies that I see. But, well, at least you're rich. Is this interesting? You're rich, aren't you? You're rich. Am I rich? Yeah. You have to be rich after all those movies. Here's a thing. I did this really interesting interview the other day was these young, cool millennials, and they were asking me all these questions, you know, about actors and why do they stand up or want to speak out or use their voice. And I was saying, you know, when you get a lot of attention, it's important that you use that power, you know, that you share the power and you use it for something that you believe in and that you make the world a better place with it. As long as you don't exploit it. Go ahead. Yes. And then on top of it, you know, they were saying, well, you give money. And then I stop and think, it's all relative. Like I just saw this article about the four women in Hollywood that made $86 million last year. I'm not getting a pinch of that.

So let's be straight about this. Everybody's, you know, may throw this idea onto me that I'm making the kind of money that they're reading about. I'm not making that money. I'd like a little of that money. I'm not making any of that money, you know, and it's hard. It's hard. In my age, when I look at my contemporaries, the women that I would go up against for jobs, none of us are really working that much. This is Hollywood.

The reality is, is what everybody said to me, how does it feel to turn 40 and no, you're never going to work again. This is what happened to me. It happened to everybody. Now, we come along now on this new generation. I tell them that, and they look at me like I'm making it up, but they weren't here, and this was just 20 years ago. So things have changed, and we no longer say that, but it's still the truth. They may not say it to the people that are 40. How does it feel to turn 40? And no, you're not going to work anymore, but it's going to happen to them because it's Hollywood. And things have not changed. We have not made progress nearly enough. We've made some progress. We've made some progress, but not enough.

I mean, don't you remember back in the days when there were no female executives, none, none? Sure. It makes no sense to me when someone says, someone has a big career or someone does a big movie or someone does a big TV show or a TV star or whatever it is. And then people were like, whatever happened to them, a lot of times like, oh, what has she done? Well, what does she need to prove to you? She did, I don't know, Groundhogs Day. She did four weddings and a funeral. she was the biggest model in the world she did i don't know about that you can go on and on about

what you did but it's all about what you're doing now that makes you this is just clown these are clowns it's like relevance what do you need to do like i haven't acted in a year and a half because of choice i want to do my podcast i love it so what is he doing one of the reasons i chose not to live in l.a which years ago when i was here people would say so what are you doing now and usually I felt like I wasn't doing enough. Even in my 30s, you know, when I would be doing two movies a year and it was easy for me to get two movies a year. I never felt like it was enough. I felt like people, there was this constant pressure to prove yourself and whatever your last job was. And not only that, the last job has to be a hit. It can't be just a piece of artwork even. You may do something that you're extremely proud of that's a great piece of art. But if it doesn't do well, you're judged for that as well. So part of the reason I didn't live here, I just didn't want to think about it. I would go home and I would, nobody would talk about my work

and I would talk about my kids and I would take them to dance and what I was doing was taking them to dance but so was everybody else. That's all anybody was doing was taking their kids to dance and that became the most important part of my life. So that's what, one of the reasons.

That became purpose. That was my purpose. That was my purpose. That's what you need because I think that... And I took the pressure off. It was like it didn't really matter if I didn't do a movie for a year or two. I wasn't worried about

what those people thought. I cared about the teachers of my kids or showing up for them or having spend the night parties or being in their life. That was my purpose. And it was a, for me, the purpose that, the greatest purpose. And I'm actually still doing the same stuff. And it's still a great purpose. I'm working on a house right now for my daughter. She's going to live next door because I'm a nerdy person and so is she. And we love each other. Who wants to live next door to their mom? She does. That's, that says a lot. But I have really good boundaries with her. She travels a lot.

I won't come over before 6 a.m. Actually, I call. You don't have to call me dearest. I call or text. I call in text and I say, is it okay? But it's not like that. You're friends. We get along great.

We get all of my kids. I get along great with all of my kids. And I've learned how to respect them and not question them. And I look up to them. You're being the mother that you wish you had. Yeah, probably. You know, I lost my mother at 23. My mother died when I was 23. So even when I've had problems, like one time Rainy and I were probably just hormonal in the same house and things were weird. And I said to her, look, I don't know what's going on right now. But what's great is we can work on our relationship. Whatever you're feeling I'm not doing right or whatever, you have, we have the opportunity to fix this. I said, just think. I never had that. My mother died. when I was 23, and there was no opportunity to fix anything. It was just gone. Do you still, does that still get to you? Do you still think about that? Do you still, do you like, yeah,

oh, it haunts me. The responsibility haunts me, but also the lack of relationship haunts me. Like, even the other day, I just kind of whispered, and I just like, I miss your mama. I do. I mean, I miss her. And I didn't, I only had her for 23 years. You know, I didn't have her for a very a long time and there was so much pain involved in that relationship too there were happy times but also really painful times i could tell just by looking at you how much it hurt you you know you could just tell it's like not only in your voice but how much you know i think we all want something that we didn't have or something you know you know time is a it's a precious thing and it's sometimes it's just i look at my friends who all like that they lose their parents you know my

dysfunctional family which i've talked about ad nauseum but i think also when we start blaming ourselves or we think we could change them or make them the parent we want or it's that becomes crazier than anything that's that's fantasy because that can't happen i think for a long time i was like you know oh here breakthrough no no no no i'm not going to get that oh this is here comes i love it no no no it's not going to happen so I just stopped. I said, I know who they are. I love them.

That was my choice. I love them for who they are. They can't give me what I need as a child, but I always keep that at arm's length. I know that I could, I'm never going to think, here it comes. I need to build that for myself. And that's self-worth, which you were talking about earlier where you're like, oh, I did two of these. It was never enough.

It's always the big. And that's where I think self-worth is so important because, and look, I'm not telling you this because I have so much of it. For me, it was approval and self-esteem. They're equivalent in the feeling of self-worth, right? I've talked about this. But if you could look at other things and not let your career run you, say, you know, I'm going to do charity work. I'm going to give love to whoever. I'm going to raise my children. I'm going to be the best, whatever I could be. If you do more of those things, that's what self-worth, that build your self-worth. You start thinking I'm making an impact on someone else's life instead of worrying about you know what people

think of me because that's been a really tough thing for me I always felt like if I become successful my dad's going to really love me my mom's going to really love me if I just become a big enough star and then I stopped and I go who are you doing this for I don't want to be 80 years old and go I was doing this whole thing to try and get people just to like me and love me and you have to love yourself And whatever that is, that's the journey to love yourself and to love other and just to live the life that you're proud of. And so that's a hard thing to do. And this industry will do that if you allow it.

I see some people that are somehow unaffected and they're rare. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money, period. It's Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors you're spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. This is just a wonderful app. There's a lot of apps out there that really, you know,

you have to do this and pay for and that. But with Rocket Money, it's, they're saving you money. You're getting this app to save money. I don't know how many times that I've had these unwanted subscriptions that I thought I canceled or I forgot to, you know, the free trial ran at Ryan. I know you did it. That's why you got Rocket Money. I did, yeah.

And I also talked to a financial advisor recently, and I said, I had rocket money, and they said, that's good. This will help you keep track of your budget. See? See? It's only, we're only here to help folks. We're only trying to give you, you know, things that will help you. So Rocket Money really does that. Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about.

If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help cancel it. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals. They'll even talk to the customer service so you don't have to. Yeah, because I don't want to. Press 1 now if you want. Get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your accounts, if you're close to going over budget.

And even when you're doing a good job, Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions. with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum in the survey

so they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum. Rocket Money. Inside of you is brought to you by Quince. I love Quince, Ryan. I've told you this before.

I got this awesome $60 cashmere sweater. I wear it religiously. You can get all sorts of amazing, amazing clothing for such reasonable prices. Look, cooler temps are rolling in. And as always, Quince is where I'm turning for fall staples that actually last. From cashmere to denim to boots, the quality holds up and the price still blows me away. Quince has the kind of fall staples you'll wear nonstop

like Super Soft 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at just 60 bucks. Yeah, I'm going to get you one of those I think. I like to see you in a cashmere. Maybe a different color so we don't look like twins. Their denim is durable and it fits right and their real leather jackets bring that clean, classic

edge without the elevated price tag. And what makes Quince different they partner directly with ethical factories and skip the middlemen So you get top-tier fabrics and craftsmanship at half the price of similar brands. These guys are for real. They have so much great stuff there that you just have to go to Quince. Q-U-I-N-C-E.

I'm telling you, you're going to love this place. Keep it classic and cool this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash inside of you for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E. dot com slash inside of you free shipping and 365 day returns quince dot com slash inside of you ready or not ready or not how did that happen yeah so you've seen it i've seen it well i can't wait to see it because i'm a big horror movie fan but it also like people have compared it to like clue and you know that you've heard this a million times and uh it's got the humor in it it's got the dark it's got a little violence in

it for the horror did someone just approach you just get a straight offer did you have to read for It came through my agency and my managers So they sent you a script and said we want Andy McDowell for this part That's what happened And you read it and immediately said sure And I read it and it's great And I said yeah I'd love to do this Was it a big budget film?

Early on I was one of the first people that jumped in Really? It was not a big budget film But it's making good money So I think that Fox Searchlight is quite happy It's going to do really well They're going to make some money on this And Samara weaving's fabulous

And the whole cast was great Was it hard? Was it a hard to film to shoot? No, it wasn't hard in that. I loved my hours, and I got along great with everyone, and I had a quiet room to sleep in, which is really important to me. Wait, you had a quiet room to sleep in? To sleep in. At a nice place. Where were you sleep? What state did you shoot? What country? We were in Toronto. And I was inside, because it's cold there. So, you know, these are the things that I'm like going, yes, I really got lucky. Samara was outside freezing the whole time

And her little wedding dress She's the lead girl And she's the lead and she's fabulous But everybody got along really well And was super funny We had great lines It was very sharp But I feel like everybody

brought more to it So each character became even better Than you could imagine Like the script was great When you read it It just came to life Once you guys started talking Things started happening

It started happening It was a great It was a great combination of people that kind of sparred with each other and we're having fun and we're bringing their best stuff showing up, really showing up and wanting it to be good

and so it happens. It's just, it has a lot of... It looks great. The trailer looks great and it's shot beautifully. It's beautifully shot. It's really interesting. Like a little roller coaster of a ride

and it's just... I never really liked Gore until now. What? Let me tell you some gore. Have you not seen all the Fangoria magazines I have over there? Well, I have to tell you that's the other thing I thought about

because I told you my house looks like Aunt Daisy. I look so square. If you came in my house, just maybe part of the reason I'm not having sex. Is it boring? It's just sweet. It's like, oh, my God, I'm having sex with Andy. I look like, you know, it's a little momsy is what it is.

It's so sweet. It's sweet is what it is. What did you say mine is? Studley. Really? Studly? Not nerdly? It's a pinch, but I, no, come on.

It's very masculine. It might be a little over masculine. All right. Stop. Stop. Let me ask you this. Going back to, do you still or have you ever been or you're on a set? Because I've worked with some actresses who I worked on a movie once.

And the actress I walked on set. And I go, hey. And she looked really upset. And she said to me, I don't know what's going on. And I go, what do you mean? She was just, I just, they haven't given me any direction. I go, what do you mean? Well, I'm doing my takes and they're not like saying anything.

I go, well, then you're doing a good job. Well, they're not saying that. You know, I always say, look, if they don't say anything, that means you're doing a good job, I wouldn't worry about it. So do you or have I one of those people that need a lot of attention? Do you need to hear like, is that good? Can I do it again? Do you have what you need? In general, no.

Or do you have you been there before? It depends. It depends on the project. Sometimes people talk too much. I've had that case too where you just want them to shut up. But, um, so I'm sorry. And you know, you know what you're doing. You know, you just wish they would hush.

but um and you can't say that and he's got this let's do it i've got this to shut up so go ahead tell me no no no i you know on this one we only had two takes so sometimes i did need i felt like i needed help for instance here's a funny thing samara's laying in the um on the table all tied up and we're all standing around and i don't give too much away but we're going to be spitting blood right we have to spit blood right i've never spit blood before and Adam Brady's saying to me I can't wait to see Andy McDowell spit blood which is a little bit of pressure right and I'm thinking to myself I can spit blood you know I'm going to spit blood my blood spitting's going to be really interesting and like I told you everybody was doing great stuff so I'm looking around the table trying to figure out

how everybody else is going to spit their blood and watching what their choices are and thinking to myself what can I do this different so I thought okay I'm going to just dribble it outside I'm going to be like you know just this is going to dribble out of the side so I do that and the director comes up and I was like do you see see that did you see that how was that and he was like just spit the blood so I'm like okay so I just no hush nothing no no hush I spit anyway I want I just so I just went spit the blood and I even said to him last time I saw him I don't know if he remembered that moment I said it was my blood splitting okay I did I spit that blood okay like you know a case like that I've never spit blood I mean that's what they do they

make horror movies so in that case I would like a little advice perhaps like okay did I spit the blood right are you good with lines do you memorize it take you a lot of memorize lines I used to when I was young not worry about it at all I would look at my lines of the chair and whatever and do it I work a little harder now because who do you run lines with you know what I do that works really well you record them are yeah because I'm slightly dyslexic and and so it if I listen to them, I learn them much faster. So that's what I do. I record them and I listen to them and then I pick them up really fast. Do you get frazzled easily when you're on set when you can't get something or you're just like, I don't know what I mean. Do you ever get nervous? Like your body

just kind of gets a little bit like, oh my God. Oh, I get numb. I feel shamed. I feel shamed and I can't and I can't have a pet. Shame. Shame. Shame. I had a panic attack one time, one time. I've only had I've had some panic attacks Take me through the panic attack Be quick No no no no I was just It was just up for something And it was a really important thing

And it was a big studio thing And I looked around the room You don't have to go that fast Calm down All this man Men there were just men in the room And I had been on I had some personal problems in my life

So I was already not sleeping well And I took a Xanax Which just makes me stupid And I was trying really hard to think And get my shit together And then the stupid cameraman said this is our audition and that was all it took you know I was only in for the day I was just doing it for the hell for giggles I didn't realize it was like you know the opportunity to like do a job

as soon as he said that I was even more nervous but it's just at some moment it just sort of like my body felt so nomin attached yes and I just tried to catch my breath and I walked into the fake bathroom and looked in the mirror and said get your shit together get your shit together that's the Tim Roth moment in Reservoir Dogs. You know what I'm talking about? Tim Roth looks in the mirror and goes, your fucking money. That was that Vince Vaughn. I don't know.

But I did. I got my shit together and I was fine. It wasn't, you know, I wasn't like loose. I've had some panic attacks. Oh, I've had some panic attacks in my day. I've had a couple. It was that TV show with John Lithgow. That's who was that show.

I was only in it for two seconds. But go ahead, go ahead. No, no. I was just saying I, I, it's, it's terrifying. I had a panic like in a movie theater. or some guy just came up to me and I was already a little like just not in a great place. It just came up. He was a close talker. So it came up to me. He's like, oh, man, hey, how you doing? Dude. Good to see you, man. It was somebody I didn't know, but kind of know. I'm like, and I don't know what happened.

But I was just like, I looked at him and I go, hey, man, I got to go. And I felt so bad, but I just really had to walk away because I felt like I was going to fucking pass out at the arc light. That would be bad. Not good. Yeah, that would not. How many sex scenes have you had? I don't know. I'd have to really think about that. You know, I've had some sex scenes. But I, you know, back in the day, we used to always have body doubles and people were, you know, like if you were a serious actress, you weren't supposed to be doing nudity.

So I was always very timid about that kind of stuff. Any bad breath? You ever encounter some shit breath? Not, not only one time. And I'm not going to say who. And it was a long time ago. It was rough, though, right? It's horrible.

Isn't that the worst when you can make out with somebody and they just had a. Please. They just smoked a cigarette and did nothing, you know? I mean, that's just terrible. Coffee and a cigarette. Have you ever been excited? Like, you're all like, wow, this is kind of sexy. You know what? I think it's kind of hard to get turned up. Personally, I mean, it feels good. I won't lie. Like, you know, it can feel pretty good. But you've got 30 people watching you. Not unless you are a weirdo. Do you, are you totally? I mean, I know guys get turned on like they get hard and I don't blame them. You know, they're kissing. and rubbing and everything. Certainly you get a heart on, but... Who, you as in your thing I do? Well, I mean, I think a lot of men. Oh, you said the proverbial you. Okay, you met you.

Guys. Like, guys get... I thought you looked at me and go, no, you. No, no, no. But I mean... For sure. No, but I know guys do. I mean...

Yeah, of course. Every once in a while. They go, wait. They'll say, oh, I need a few seconds or whatever, you know. I can't say it's unpleasant. It's pleasant. I enjoy it, but I'm not totally turned on. Of course.

Yeah. But it's not a basic instinct where they supposedly had sex on the set. Oh, that's not true, is it? I heard that they had sex. Well, good for them. I mean, they look like they had sex. Maybe. I will tell you back when I lived in that weird neighborhood in North Carolina, which I love,

I have to say, and a lot of the people I love, but some of the people were just weirdos. There was this one woman who was super wealthy and I think very jealous of me because I was independent. And she would say to me, so do you really have? have sex in your movies and I was like you know what I'm not a prostitute I don't do pornography and you know like in which movie are you suggesting that I had sex in which one of my movies are you suggesting I had sex in which is stupid I think it's just stupid I would have

I said fuck yeah she wanted it to be true every movie I do every TV show you've ever seen me I'm effing yes in which one yeah I've never effed oh this has been really fun It has been fun. I hope I was okay. I don't know. How do you understand? I love this. Okay, good. I mean, it's just real. I don't need to get into stuff that you've gotten into a million times. Maybe you have gotten into some of this stuff a million times. I have never talked about any of this. Is that true? No. Oh, well, people will love this then. Yeah. I mean, who am I going to sit down with and talk about my sex life with? Who? Who am I going to do that with? I guess me. Yeah. That's it. You know, I felt like, you know, I'm I was like, well, Andy and I have always had fun. Like, you know, we were at these events, these charity events. But, you know, we've never hung out in real life. But, you know, so I didn't know. I didn't know if it was going to be like, okay, look, I'm very private.

I'm not going to talk about that. I'm just not going to talk about my family. I'm not going to talk about boners or hard-ons or sex or nothing. I just want to talk about ready or not, here I come in this new movie, and I'm fucking relevant. So, fuck you, Rosenbaum. Fuck you in your fucking bullshit. I don't know how relevant I'm relevant this month you're a movie listen to me you're a movie star this month I am so relevant

no once a movie star or a TV star always my thing is when someone tries if you're a fucking mechanic for 30 years 40 years you're in one day you don't decide not to be you're still a mechanic you know how to fix a car right someone can't go he's not a mechanic anymore yeah motherfucker pop your hood bitch Is that a good analogy? I do say, you know, for me, what anybody can say to me, I know how hard it is to have a successful movie. Everybody in this business wants a successful movie, a movie that is well-received, has good reviews and makes money. I've done that a lot.

You've done a lot of those. I've done a lot of those. And that's rare. That's not usual. So if anything, I could say, well, my career. speaks for itself and whether you want to think are relevant or not, it's up to you. Amen. And how, and how you, your perception of me and I, there's nothing I can do about your perception of me. I can't change that. You know, it's none of our business what other people think about us. That's what they say.

That's what they say. It's just so true. Have you ever had sex with Bill Murray? No, I did not. I wasn't even sure Bill liked me to tell you the truth. I was doing everything I could. If he was attracted to you and into it, did you find him so talented and funny that you might have considered it? Were you single at the time? No, I wasn't interested in having... You've never cheated. You're not that girl. I'm not going to say whether I was purely pure.

I'm not going to get into that. But I can tell you, I didn't sleep with Bill Murray. When I was going through my divorce, it said I slept with all of my co-stars. But I can guarantee you I didn't. Gerard Jeopard Jews? Didn't sleep with George. You got to sit through and ask? You get his ass.

like all of my things was he charming yeah he had to be charming green card that was a great movie i will say i will tell you this and then we're going to stop gerard is so sweet and so friendly and it was always really nice to everyone that i saw so um he did one night at the golden gloves drove my husband crazy because he was hitting not it wasn't really hitting on me he was just drunk it was just gerard it's just like the way he acts and so he drank so much i was having to take care of him so my husband was not happy so that was a really rough night for you me but i didn't sleep with him years go by i'm divorced and gerard's in prague and i'm my best friends my assistant gerard and um reconnected and said let me come over and cook for you i'm like

okay this is great he came over he cooked and brought a bunch of wine and his friend his friend came over and we were dancing and adrian brodie was in the movie and his girlfriend was there and we're all partying like 12 o'clock at night he starts hitting gerard's hitting on me he starts doing that same stuff. And finally, we had been drinking so much. I said to Gerard, I said Gerard, I'm not going to sleep with you. And he immediately just looked at me and

turned to my friend. And started paying attention to her. And I was just, we both of us just cracked up because it was so apparent what he was doing. Well, apparently Gerard Jepa do what he wants to do. So, anyway, she wasn't going to sleep with him either.

She wasn't going to sleep with him either. But we were having so much fun. And they finally left when they realized we, I guess, you know, that was all we were interested in was laughing and dancing and drinking and eating. We drank 17 bottles of wine that night. So they left. I practically peed in my pants because we were laughing so hard. And my sweet friend threw up. That's how much we drank.

Was there any co-star ever that you looked back and go? I always slept with him. I guess there was people that I would definitely say there was a deep chemistry. Bruce Willis? I am not doing this. No, I wasn't interested in sleeping with Bruce Willis, but you're going to hit someone that I would be like, yeah, there was chemistry.

And so you have to stop right now. All right, I'm stopping. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. I think about sex. What's interesting is it's like an animal. Right. You know, it's like someone smells right.

That's it. It's how they smell. And I will say that my husband always smelled right. I don't even think we had that much in common towards the end. I don't even know how compatible we really were, were in so many ways. But the smell. It was just the friggin' smell. Ooh, that smell.

And it just was, it's a chemical reaction. I think you have to be, get beyond that to choose an intellectual person to be with or either get super lucky to have someone who has everything and they smell right. And ride his bikes. This has been a absolute treat for me. You're so forthcoming. I mean, you're just, you're so open. You talked about like. Too friggin open if you ask me.

You got to be in big fat trouble. How are you going to get in trouble? Oh my God. Look, I can't believe Andy when I, she told everyone I hit on her. I was drunk. I'm a man. Oh, hey, no, he wouldn't care about that story. He wouldn't care.

Plus, he's had a lot of weird shit said about him, so that would be nothing. That's not weird. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. It was pretty normal stuff. I bottled this wine? Is that the worst accent you've ever heard? It was not.

It wasn't that. bad actually you're good at that kind of stuff not at that one did it bill murray make you laugh all the time was he improvising a lot or was he just he did improvise a lot bill's bill is moody he's a moody person and so it depended on his moods whether he was making me laugh or not he was he could be he can be intimidating of course he's like the biggest one of the biggest comedic geniuses of all time he is a genius i will give him credit to that did he make you ever was he the same person off camera as he was on camera. He's as weird as he can be.

He's a very strange person. I meant when you're doing your lines, does he give you what you give him? When I was working with him, all you have to do is be present and pay attention and be involved in the scene because he's so good and they're always different. So it's the best acting you can do

because it's not formulated. You know, like some people just over-prepared and it's just like bad acting, sorry. Yeah, yeah. And it was never like that. It was always fresh and authentic and sort of in the moment. Very spontaneous, he's very extremely spontaneous. And you just had to listen and react.

So it's that whole Meisner thing, which I wasn't even like a huge Meisner student, but it's pretty simple technology, I mean, uh, formula to, to listen and pay attention and be present. Did Bill Murray ever look at you and say, you were really great in the movie? You were really, you really shine. It was a joy to work with you. Oh my God.

Never? No. He never said, I loved working with you. No. I would be floored. He never said, Andy. No. Great take.

No. Andy, you look stunning today. I don't think so. You worked within three months on ground on day. I don't know if it was three months. He never wants... I don't have any memories of that. I was intimidated by him, but always kind.

I kind of felt like that's how to deal with him. Was he kind back? Sometimes. Was he always in his head? You're going to get me in big fat trouble. I don't think he wants to work with me again either. I don't get that from him. I don't think it was going to be a groundhog's day too.

No, it's not. I do think he's a genius. And I have seen him since then. And it's the same kind of feeling when I see him. I adore him. I would do anything if he would hug me. That would mean so much to me, but it's not going to happen. Isn't that something how that's all you wanted really if he just gave you one hug?

I think, you know, that would be, he's just the kind of person that, you know, for me, I felt like I was constantly, I might cry. This is terrible. Just constantly trying to please him. Like everything I did, like every moment of every second. I was around him. It was to try to keep him happy and to please him. So, you know, and I, you know, I try my best.

I think the movie's brilliant. You know, somebody, if anybody ever criticizes anything about that movie, including me, then something's wrong with them because it's a perfect movie. I think it's a brilliant film. But I wonder whatever happened between him and Harold towards the end

if he went to go hug Harold. I wonder if he did. I hope he did. I hope he did. because look at all the great work they did. It's just unbelievable. You just, I think he's brilliant. I'm scared of him.

I think he's brilliant. What's nice is you admire him so much and you just like, isn't it something like somebody we admire? We just like we want something. We just want a morsel. It's like almost like a father figure. I don't know what it is. Yeah.

It's like you just wanted to anything, right? You want some little. I'm, you know, I will say I've loved watching his career and everything that's happened to him. and you know really like this really warm feeling of this is this person who was so important in my life and I bet he's never even thought two seconds about me it was magical it really was the movie um this is that's it I don't really have anything else okay that was beautiful you'd warm my ass out anyway it's better than sex

thank you for allowing me to be inside of you Andy McDowell That was so fucking good Oh, my God. Football season is here. Believe has the podcast to enhance your football experience. From the pros. One of the most interesting quarterback rooms

to college. Skin is set at eight and a half wins. To fantasy. If you feel that way, why didn't you trade them? Become a better fan and listen to the football podcasts from Believe. Just search Believe. That's B-L-E-A-V podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.