Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Bobby Lee Returns

Episode Date: March 5, 2019

Bobby Lee (Splitting Up Together, Mad TV, Harold & Kumar) returns to the podcast to discuss the time he farted in a costar’s mouth at Mad TV, what Jews and Koreans have in common, and how devastated he’d be if I died. Bobby opens up about his dad’s stroke, Khalyla’s heart attack in the Philippines, and his mom’s reaction to Hodor’s penis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This is our first repeat. Bobby Lee, folks. If you don't know him, you are in for a treat. This guy is one of the funniest human beings ever. He doesn't hold back. He tells you how it is. We talk about his relationship, him visiting the Philippines. We talk about family. A lot of people that are listening are probably listening because of Tiger Belly. Yeah, Tiger Belly is a tremendous show. I've been on there three times. Yeah, and I think a lot of our listeners came from there.

Anybody from Tiger Belly, I hope you're subscribed here to the show. I appreciate you doing that. And make sure you write a review. We want to keep this free podcast going. So thank you. Just let's rock and roll with Bobby Lee. You guys are going to get a kick out of this. Enjoy your ride to work.

It's my point. of you you're listening to inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum Inside of you Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded

in front of a live studio audience I would have fucking laughed because you weren't on it on a picture Well because I'll tell you why Wasn't I the first guest? No I told a few people that they were the first guest

Just to get Who was the first guest? guest no no honestly uh you tom wellie and swartson were my first guests that's the sure but who was before me i'm trying to think maybe bobby was my very first guest and then i feel like i'm kind of helped you get into the podcast yeah i think you i've always appreciated that i've always told you that that's why if my photo wasn't on there i would have felt betrayed and i would have left can i can i ask you something what well i'm going to tell you something i'm not going to ask it rob made that as a christmas present for me except

If he made that for me, and it was a gift, you couldn't be mad at me if you weren't on that. That is very true. He told me to take yours off, though. No. Okay, first of all, I told you the last time I saw you is to grow an upper lip. And you never did that. You don't have an upper lip? No, look at it.

He never did that. Is that true? I did the reverse Hitler. Yeah, yeah. He just throw a Hitler in? Yeah. Who does that to start out? When God made you, he went, just give me the knife.

But we need a mouth. No, just give me the knife. And he just went like that. Jesus. It made your mouth. Yeah, I never noticed that. But you have like a little mustache in there, but it covers it. But some people don't have upper lips.

Like, Bobby, what's your thing that you don't have? What do you mean? I have every part of my body. Well, he does too. He has a lip. Oh, I guess if I see it close enough, yeah. Congratulations. Of course he has a lip.

Who could have not... Anyway. How did we start? We did we start? No, no, no, I'm not started. I didn't say anything. Just start from the beginning. No, this is the beginning.

Oh. Bobby, you're the first time I've had a guest on for the second time. Does that make sense? Is it my second time? This is your, oh, my God. Is it my second time? This is your second time on the show. I'll tell you what.

You're the only person that's been on the show twice right now. Fangul, Fangul. What's that mean? I don't know. I just made it up. Fangul, Fangul. Yeah, but it feels good. Do you remember my, um, Korean name?

Wait, that's not even true. What? Harlan came on twice. No, he didn't. Oh, here. Harlan did not come on twice. Here we go, dude. He did not.

Yeah, you did. Here we go. Hold on, Bobby. And then he came on for sorority boys. Oh, that's different. and it was a sorority boys podcast that's different do you get tired of like doing all these podcasts yeah i would do yours again i i did yours but when i i wasn't i didn't know about it until the day so i was calila i was kind of grumpy about it that's the key go to colila yes he's like oh

you have to i don't know i don't want to he's done your show three times you have to and then she's like you have to so then i kind of came here did you drive yeah dude what do you think i teleport Collie Culkin Ubered. There's been a couple of guests. Wait, Culkin did your show? Calkin. Oh, my God. You want to get Culkin on your show?

He's another thing about you, though, and which makes me angry is that you have access to better guests and it infuriates me. You get Dahlia, he won't come on the show. He said he would. I text him. He said him, he said, I'm coming, and then he never texts me again. I feel like I'm, like, harassing him. He said he was going to come on because he did Daxes.

Yeah, he's going to do it. Yeah, but he's done everybody. Who else? Who else? I don't even know who Matt Balasasai is. Matt Bellaside is a comedian. He's very funny. Andrew McCamahan. That was Rob's idea. He's a great musician.

Any of these guys that's on your wall? Stephen Merchant. Tom Welling, Stephen Merchant, Stephen Amel. None of these people I can get. Kristen Bell. Yeah, that's huge. James Gunn is huge. Let me see, first of all, you have a way bigger audience than I do. Well, I'm glad you said that out loud.

You can get Jenna Fisher. He can't get Jenna Fisher. I never got Jenna Fisher. What podcast are you watching? He never got, he doesn't even know Jennifer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you're on the show, that's right. Come on. By the way, did that show get canceled?

No. I told you it didn't. No, no, no, no. They gave us five more, but I just dread it, yeah. Why do you dread it? Because they gave everyone else nine more. And five more saying like, oh, here you go. Well, ours was, and then they didn't tell us for like two weeks.

And then they're like, oh, we'll give you five more. And they were kind of like, oh, thank you. That's how I said it. But that's still a lot of money from you. You probably get at least $50,000 an episode. That's cool. No, $18. thousand that's you get more than that 18,000 something you make in 95 yeah let me I wrote something down

here from our last meeting you said now that I have a show on ABC this was two years ago I'm getting my act together in a sense you were saying I'm changing yeah and I have have you seen my penis in the last couple of years I've not that's not my point my point is now have you seen my penis in the last couple of years uh I did I see it at the Christmas party I don't think you did I don't think you did why would I pull my penis out at a Christmas party with a bunch of people there Have you asked that question to you 10 years ago or five years ago, the answer would have been different. If I would ask myself, did I pull out my penis? At a Christmas party.

No, because I'll tell you why, I don't do it in front of women. Yeah, I don't either. Because for me, pulling my penis in front of men is a territorial kind of like a primitive thing that I do. It's basically I'm marking. Marking your territory. Right. Like, yeah, you guys, you know. This is mine?

I'm the alpha male here. Okay. Well, that's your thing. That's my thing. But I, but because of like people get in trouble now, like me too. The whole me too movement. Yeah, everyone's in trouble. You can't show your dick anymore.

I don't do that in for that. Did that instill any fear in you? Like, uh, like, you know, because you've never been like a guy who harasses or doesn't anything like that. But you've been also free. You're naked on stage. You do things. This is your persona. And you're like, is this going to affect who I am and how I perform?

Well, I have done things like at Mad TV. I was sued by Christopher Flanagan because I farted in her mouth. Wait, wait, wait, wait, who? Christa Flanagan. Christa Flanagan, you farted. When you say farted in her mouth, did you fart with a naked ass or a... Well, I didn't know her, so I didn't even meet her.

Like, she was her first day of work. I didn't know that they hired a new actress. So she was sitting there eating yogurt on a couch. It was early morning. And I just didn't know who she was, but I'm like, she ate yogurt. She opened her mouth really wide when she ate the yogurt. You didn't like it?

I didn't like it at all. I don't like her style of eating the yogurt. Yeah. when she went right she took a spoonful and i grabbed the back of her head like kind of violently you did not grab her head yeah i had to get a grip because it's not wait a minute yeah yeah yeah you don't know her i know you don't know this girl she's eating yogurt with her mouth open yeah and you felt the need to fart in her mouth but you needed to get a grip so you grab her that's not funny it's funny it's funny if like you're comedian and she knows you and you know each other 20 years and

your friends but you're not she doesn't know you so anyway i did it and then it was it aggressive it was pretty aggressive and then she started to cry which then then i thought yeah that's bad you shouldn't have done that yeah and then another actor physically assaulted me he punched you he ran across the room and he goes what are you doing yeah well you just fart in a girl's mouth and grab yeah but it's also comedy show i mean this is not a drama this is not this is us you were just being bobby you thought people who think it's funny you took it too far it's a late night show that nobody fucking watches it's like you know it's like public access almost right but you felt the need that you're just gonna fart in her face i read it wrong you read the comedy yeah i read the room wrong yeah i read the room

wrong and when i did it she cried and then like i was like i'm so sorry that i did that and then we rehearsed and then i went home and i took a nap and then when i woke up i had a lot of message or something. Bobby, you need to call me as soon as this is Bob Rubinstein, your lawyer. Again, you farted in a girl's mouth and we need to talk about that. We're going to have a settlement. There were no settlements. What happened was I had to go to a meeting with a couple of lawyers and they just wanted to get there

illegally like human resources. Yeah, something like that. They wanted to legally get my side of the story. Was it hard? Honestly, I know you. Was it hard not to laugh? Well, I laughed. I should tell you why I laughed. During the meeting. During the meeting. because they go, explain what happened. And I go, well, she was sitting there eating yogurt. And then just by telling it, it just made me giggle. And then I'll be honest.

It's almost like a serial killer who's telling a story about how he murdered something. Yeah. They're like enjoying it. But everyone in the room, you could tell. They wanted to allow it. It's at the surface of like busting out laughing. But they have to be serious. But they have to be serious.

Mm-hmm. Tell me more. So, yeah. Yeah. Right. You farted. Mm-hmm. So then I go, I grab her head.

And I waited. until she opened her mouth to eat more yogurt. And then I farted at her mouth. And then there was like, literally, I'm not kidding you. Silence. 20 seconds of silence. And from the back of the room, you hear. Why?

And I didn't respond to it. I just kind of looked down on the ground. And there was just this really weird feeling. But when he said why, I almost died. Like, I almost died laughing. So in my head, I'm in trouble. So what I did is. you know Burke Williams

You get a massage there No I went and bought Like you can get like this Mega pack Like a 10 pack of massages No like seaweed wrap the whole day Oh rap You get rab

You get massage You get the sauna Yeah everything I bought that For her You felt bad though You did You're a guy who has a lot of emotions

And like you just took it too I missed her emotions You're doing something stupid You're like Oh my God she's a comedian She'll probably do something weird And like you weren't thinking It was years ago

You're young You're a mad TV You fart in a girl's mouth And you think it's okay yeah and then but here's a thing though I did for her um you know when you first go on a sketch show like that it's really hard to survive in fact rarely do they give you a sketch

that revolves around you you kind of do like kind of side you know parts and I said to I think Dick Blasucci at the time the executive producer and I said hey I know I fart in her mouth and I just feel bad but and I go that one sketch can she play the lead in it like the sketch that people like please do this for me and he goes all right

And so they, I went up to her with the Burke Williams package and then I said, I got you in a pretty big, good part. And she was like cool with it. And did she forgive you. Do you think. When I was in San Diego. Are you friends now? Yeah, I was in San Diego like two weeks ago. And I did the American comedy company. And she started to stand up. So she came down and did some guest spots with me. We're literally like family. Your family now. Like I'm closer to you than I feel like I'm into her than that I am to you. Well, that hurts. But yeah. Do you think, I'm very close to you to. Well, I'm glad. that you're close to her I mean I think I'm glad it's a good ending yeah because she said hey this guy's an idiot he's ridiculous he did something completely he's not a hurtful person he didn't want to you know because you could have got like now if you did this thing oh grabbed her hair oh yeah you might go to jail oh yeah big trouble by the well could you imagine talking to somebody in prison about what you've done I just killed five people would you do the lady man yeah I don't think you'd be in the same and then and then Bobby's like I farted in this girl's mouth while she was eating yogurt and then you hear why yeah it's so funny because the show that I'm on now right in between the seasons I got a call for one of my producers from Matt TV right who's he Bobby I'm working on your show now as a producer so when I came in this year I found him and I pulled him into his office and I sent him down I go dude you cannot tell these people

my stories he's like why I go I just I I'm a different guy now. I've matured. I'm older. Did you say matured? Yeah, matured. Matured. Matured? Yeah, matured. And I don't fart in people's mouths anymore. I don't show my blue dick. I don't show my little purple dick. Or my butt. You show your butt. No. Not that. Dude, on this show, dude, because I need it so bad. Like, I want, I just want to. You smell success and you don't want to ruin it. It's not even a success. It's just that I just, you know how network jobs are so hard to come by. I just really need to play it, you know, Christian. Yeah.

So there's a part of you that wants to sometimes you're in the middle of a scene wants to just run around naked on such to set and you just hold yourself back. Well, I mean, I do little thing like Oliver Hudson's the lead and I did send him a photo of my penis. And then he didn't respond at all. Like there was no like question mark. It was just didn't make, did it haunt you for a while? Are you one of those people who like, I need an answer. I need to be okay.

Are you okay? Ha ha. Just joking. That wasn't even my dick. It's another purple dick. No, I just didn't. No, we, I just never said anything. And you never brought it up to him.

We never talked about it. Hey, Oliver, did you get that picture of my dick? No, no, no. Because when you don't respond, you think to yourself, he hates it. Not even an L.O.L or anything like that. So in my thing, my theory is not to act as if you never even did it. Hey, somebody hacked me. Yeah.

As far as I don't know what you're talking about. It happened during the summer, right? So in between seasons. Right. So I sent my dick pick to him. Then I saw him the first day of work. Was it limp? Oh, it's small, it's sick.

I've described you what it looks like. Yeah, it's not a, I've seen it. It's not an aggressive. I want to get more specific. I have pictures of you naked on my computer. If you ever see the movie E.T., remember when he was sick in the river? Yeah, he was kind of purple and pale. Dying, yeah.

So that's what it looks like, a sick alien. And Kalila, your girlfriend has put up with you. She sucks it. She sucks it. There's seven years now. She sucks it good. Yeah. Real good.

I feel bad when the group of women have to do it. Why do you feel bad? Is it nice when it grows? No. When it gets hard, how big is your penis when it's hard? I have never measured it because I'm too ashamed of it. I bet you it's a fine penis.

Well, I always have to say, I'm sorry. No, you don't. I do. You say, I'm sorry for having sex with you.

No, when they're blowing me and when we lock eyes, you know, they do that awkward, like a look up. You don't say I'm sorry. I look down and I go, I'm sorry.

Do you stay hard while you're saying I'm sorry? Yeah. You do like it turns you on like you you really I don't think I don't believe yeah I do I say I'm sorry and then what I do is I grab the back of their head and I make them deep throat Which is rare because you're saying it's small I know Unless they have a strong so but they just got a face full of pubs you know I mean You have a lot of pubs I do have a lot of you don't trim your pubs Is that gonna get me in trouble what I just said? Not at all you don't think I've seen I don't think so Rob are you Harry

First of all right let's my girlfriend yeah sure then let's go back let's backtrack Okay, let's backtrack. It's my girlfriend. Yes, right? Many years. It's a joke. Loves you. It's also a joke.

A joke meaning it's not true. I don't do that. I believe in God. You heard that. No, no, no. I'm being real. I believe. Do you actually believe in God?

I do. I'm telling you right now. I believe, I believe in God. It's not, Hesu, Jesus. Who is it? Who is it? Well, you know, I've been sober for 16, 17 years. I know.

And I believe. in a higher power. I really do. And I believe that there is a loving, omnipotent energy out there that has, you know, that loves me. How we are created. Yeah. And I, um, I believe in it. So I mean, it is hard to believe if you think about this. If you think about it, how does something come from nothing? Wow. I mean, it's just a simple, no, but it's as simple as that. Like I always say, I believe in something. You think we just appeared here? You think the Big Bank theory, it just happened for a reason you think there was anything for any we can get

yeah yeah I mean but I got you I got you yeah but also if you think about it like the universe I feel like is endless right endless it's endless and there's galaxies upon galaxies it goes on and there's probably other planets that have life of 100

and if you think about it's so overwhelming yeah but at the end of the day it had to come from something no that's what I'm saying that's all I'm saying I don't know. What do you think, thin lips? Yeah, I believe in something, too.

You do? Yeah. Not in Jesus specifically, but. Well, yeah, I hear that. I've been on your show three times, and I always think to myself, he couldn't get other people. So call Rosemont.

He'll be all right. There's truth to that. No. First of all, I'm going to say this, and I don't want to... Hurt my feelings? No, I'm not hurting your feelings. I just want to say it the right way.

So I don't hurt your feelings. No, what it is is that we have, I have people every day calling me. People that have been on TV and movies and people that want to show. They really want to do it. In my head, I'm like, it's a gamble if I don't know them that well. Because what ends up happening is I've had guests that I didn't know that well. You thought maybe would be funny? And they don't know how to add information.

So when you ask, ask a question like, well, what did you do over the holidays? They go, I had fun. And you don't know what to do with that. Yeah, you don't know what to do with it. So I'd rather have somebody that I know that can add information that I have a good, you know, rapport with. Yeah. Then have somebody that's a bigger star. Can you give me an example?

Right. I heard that part that it's a bigger star. Yeah, because I'm not a big star. You are. No. Michael, I'm going to say, Michael, I'm going to tell you what it is. It's true. It's not true.

It's not true. I'll tell you why. It is true. I'm not a big star. No, you are. I'm an actor that some people recognize that has done some work. Let me say somebody, you're fucking asshole. Go ahead, fine.

It's this, this is that. When I met you, what did we meet? Kicking an old school. Kicking an old school movie that no one saw. No one saw. We stood a movie. And your dad hated it. My dad hated it.

My parents hated it. My dad called me opening night. They lived in Phoenix. And they're in the theater and my dad calls me. He goes, nobody here. I go, what? Nobody here. I go, okay, well, just watch it.

And apparently, because there was no one there on our and I didn't even play it. So they told your dad to leave. And my mom goes, you have to leave. They refunded the money and they never saw it. Are you glad that happened? No, because my parents don't know what's going on ever. What do you mean?

They don't understand it. So they're, they're, like, they didn't even like on the show that I'm on now. They're like, who is that older lady? That's my wife in the show. Oh, is she your wife? Yeah, I said that. Oh, who are the white lady? Come on, are they, and are that Korean.

They are very Korean. Very heavy accent. Heavy accents like that. You're not exaggerating. I'm not even exaggerating. My dad has a stroke. Yeah, I know. That happened a while ago.

Yeah, but he gets to get him, so now you can't understand him at all. I mean, even when he was healthy, you couldn't understand him. But now it's like, ho-ho, ho-do, ho-o-ho. Does it just break your heart in half? No, I do it back. No, you don't. Like a-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. You don't do

I do What does he do He didn't laugh He will Yeah he thinks you're funny Yeah Doesn't that feel good though Because I think for a long time

You thought he didn't think you were funny He doesn't think I'm funny But here's what it is though Is that You have to understand that when I started doing Standup back in 95 I called him And they literally disowned me as a son

They're like you're never going to make it They didn't even know what it was They just thought Right Standup comedy They don't know what it is It's like acting Same thing

It's like what are you doing Yeah, they don't. That's for an elite people. No, very few people do this. Or you're never going to make money. You're never going to make it. You know, that kind of a thing. And you're not funny.

You know, on top of it. That's got to hurt, though, man. It does hurt, but can I say this? Without that, I would have never kept going. So if he said, I love you, Bobby, all the time and said, I support you, whatever. You probably wouldn't have done stand-up. Yeah. With love and support and all the things the kids needs, you wouldn't have done stand-up.

But now you're tortured at the same time. No, I just have. had to win in that in that battle inside of you is brought to you by quince i love quince ryan i've told you this before i got this awesome sixty dollar cashmere sweater i wear it religiously you can get all sorts of amazing amazing clothing for such reasonable prices look cooler temps are rolling in and as always quince is where i'm turning for fall staples that actually last from cashmere to denim to boots, the quality holds up and the price still blows me away. Quince has the kind of fall staples you'll wear nonstop, like Super Soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters, starting at just $60.

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goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum in the survey so they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum. Rocket money in 2000 I did tonight show that's when it did it right so I did it and I told my parents to watch it and the next day they called apologizing profusely then your dad cry he cried he goes I'm so sorry I didn't support you no and in my and I said in your fucking face gooky that's absolutely not I did he flat face gooky no don't ever do that again you didn't say that you did you I bet you cried I bet you cried I didn't cry at all you thought you thought

thought of it no i didn't you know what i said i think i said something like um oh it's not a big you know i played it off you know but in in my heart i knew that i won that battle well i do you did you always want your dad's approval because i've always i think i've always wanted my parents approval you always want your parents approval yeah but my dad even in this trip like you know we're in the car and my brother asked me about the band and i'm kind of like you know putting it down like yeah you know it's fun it's a thing yeah oh let dad hear a song i'm like ah no and so i play a song Yeah. And, you know, even the first 20 seconds you're hoping for, like, hey, this sounds good, but nothing.

Yeah. And then another 20 seconds goes by. And then afterwards, I go, I made the mistake and I got somebody and I go, what did you think? Oh, no. And he goes, he goes, it's good. Sounds good. Oh, yeah, that means no. And I like it.

I think it's good. And that's all that should matter. I think about this sometimes where, like, I've been to this house before. Yeah. I've been to this house for 10. been how long you've been living here 15 yes i've been here you know the last decade yeah and it's a nice cool house it really is cool and you bought it correct yeah and you i'm still paying for it i know i pay for my place yeah and we make money on just doing our craft or whatever our comedy

we're lucky as fuck but we're also good at what we do i'm not i don't want to say that i'm saying it because i've learned in therapy to say just admit you know what you're good at something it's okay to say you're good. Bobby, you're an exceptionally funny person. You know many times Bob over here said, get Bobby back in the show. I go, I know, I know, he's busy. You're the one he always wants to get back on, and I always

want you on because you are funny. You're a talented, funny guy. I've been in movies and I've acted in certain things and then you see real talent. What do you want to looking at the clock? No, I just don't want. That's the rudest thing. No, I wasn't. You want me to leave? No.

Because that's rude. No, you know, I, you know, I, You know, I let, no, I sort of got it. I had nowhere to go. You could stay here for hours. I want to make sure you're not, like, at the end, because you're the kind of person to go, are we still talking?

Like, I want to make sure I don't keep you here too long. No, no, no, no. I'm staying here now forever. You could be here forever. All right, because you don't ever do that again, though. But I have to do it in, like, 20 minutes. No, no, no, don't do it. I'm going to have the phone up.

No, no, no, give me the phone. Give me the phone. No, no, I'm leaving now if you don't give me the phone. Come on. Give me the fucking phone. All right, fine. Just give me the fucking phone. Well, you let me know.

No, no, no. If you let them know, I won't tell them anything. Let me see this phone. How do you turn it on? Face ID. What's the code? No. Because I'll get a fucking purple dick picture.

I won't, I won't respond. It'll be awkward. You'll pretend you didn't do anything. Yeah, just put it away. Come on, Rob. Don't be a dick. You know, in terms of that, you know, I've been on things where I go, oh, no, that's real talent right there. You don't think you have real talent?

No, I have some talent. I know what I do When people go Oh Ken Jung's funny than you In many ways he is But in certain ways he's not He's not he can never do the outlandish Funny ridiculous shit that you can

Where my muscles are Right where are they Comedy muscles Fuck not No that's what I'm talking about Yeah I just I can mug in my own specific way My timing the way I look at certain things

Is unique to me Right And so I get where my strengths are But am I Gary Shandling I don't think so. Do you think Gary Shaling is a genius? I think he was, yeah.

Yeah. There's a lot of guys like that. I think Larry David is. I do what I do, and I'm fine with it, man. Fuck, man. Don't go. I have a lot of, like... But you were saying something about me.

What was this? Oh, yeah, I want to say, yeah. I wanted to hear that. So what I'm saying... I don't know if I want to hear that. When I first met you, Jamie Kennedy was like, Michael Rosenbaum's in this thing,

and I was like, literally nervous. Because at the time, it was after at Smallville, but it was just right after. No, it was during, it was in between the seasons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So small, small, well, was going on. Right.

And that was a pretty big show, you know? Yeah, I was extremely intimidated by you at first. Really? Until you showed me your penis. And then you felt like he's one. Yeah, he literally, within three, two or three days. I saw your, your dick probably within an hour. Yeah, and that's what we have on the picture.

That's what I knew. This is my life brother right here. Yeah. I really did. There was something about us that were similar, even though two upbringing, Well, I always said that Jews and the Koreans are very similar. What do they have in common? They're good at business, and they're both oppressed people.

Okay. I feel like the Jews are very funny, and Koreans are very funny. Look at the Korean comedians. There's a lot. Do you love Korea? Do you love going back? I love, yeah, I do. I mean, you know what the thing is they don't know who I am?

Does that upset you? Do you want to be known? Would you like to go back to Korea, and everybody goes, oh, my God, that's Bobby Lee? No, you know what, it's so weird. I guess in America, I'm just, I'm Asian, but in Korea, I'm just, they think that I'm a white guy. That's how they treat me. They know that as soon as I open my mouth, they know that I don't know the language. And they just, you know.

I vaguely know it. I know certain words, like, bionso, biontso, where is so? She's married to JZ. Is that not right? Very good, dude. That's so good. What was it again? Bionso, where's the bathroom.

Well, that's nice. That's where's the bathroom. It's a nice language. Yeah, yeah. That means I have a small penis. Oh, it sounds so sweet. No, your No, upper lip?

No. Is that what you said? His face is ugly. His face is ugly. Yeah, but I'm not saying that. I was just, he's just pointing that to when he said. It's one of the things he knows. It's just one of the things I know.

Yeah. You're going to the Philippines with Kalila Yeah, yeah, how'd you know that? I just know things Yeah How do you feel about that? What do you mean? Are you excited to go out?

No, I'm not because I'll tell you why The last time I was there Is when she had her heart attack Do you know that, right? I didn't know if she had a heart attack Yeah No one told me there Yeah, we're in the island of Cebu

Have you talked about this? Not really And we're in a hotel And she looks at me, she goes I think I'm having heart problems And you just right now I go, no, you're too young. Go back to sleep.

Sleep. And then, like, a second later, she's like, I'd call 911 or whatever. So I run downstairs. And I go, we need an ambulance. My girlfriend's going to die, she thinks. At this point, are you actually worried? I'm frantic, dude.

You are. I'm sweating. I'm on the verge of tears. My adrenaline's going. Wow, you really love her. And they go, we can get a cab. So I carry her. You know how.

small I am, you know, a carrier out into the street. She's bigger than you. Yes, she is. I think you outweigh her, though. Fuck you. No, no, no, no, I don't mean me. Fuck you. No, don't leave. I'm saying that you're you're a man. You're a man. You're not like a skinny little thing. Fuck you. You said her. Fuck you. Fuck. You fucking. All right. So you carry her. You get help.

So then that then. Dude, just watch your fucking tongue, dude, because because I'm kind of tired right now and I can go off. I know you could. Don't go off. I'm not going to go off. You know I had neck surgery.

I don't, you know, when I saw that on like the online, you thought I was fake in there? Instagram. I didn't care. Well, it's extremely painful. I know,

but it did. I have a lot of nerve pain. I literally, I literally, I went to Kalila and I go, is he dying? He said, no, he just had neck surgery. And then I just kind of let it go.

You didn't care. You're like, if you were dying, I would have. I think you would be, Yeah, I think you'd cry if I died. If you died, it would hurt you. It would be fucking devastating.

It would be devastating if you died. It would be so. I feel the same way. How devastated, though. If you died, if you died, I would be numb. Because I really feel like I know you. I really feel like I love you. Let me ask you some questions.

If I died and I want you to be completely, be honest with me. If this has to do with feces. No, no, no, no, I don't know the feces. not as other than the feces. Let's say I died and my funeral was on a Saturday. But that Saturday, you were starting on a J.J. Abrams movie in Paris. I called J.J. One of my best buddies in the world died. I need this day to grieve at least.

Game 7 of a Rangers. I don't give a fuck. Bobby Lee dies. I'm going on his funeral. I'm missing the Ranger game. Really? You would do that? Yes. That's amazing. Would you bring a guest to my funeral, or you come so low? I'd probably come solo. You'd wear a suit, correct?

I'd wear a suit. I don't know if you'd want me to wear a suit, but I would if you... I want you to wear a suit. Okay, so I'll wear one. Yeah. I'm glad you told me that. Yeah. I think you'll outlive me, though.

Asians live longer than whites. No, dude, my body is... Yeah, fish and rice. We, like, shit. Look at your body, dude. We're fat pigs, yeah, but I haven't broken neck, surgeries. Oh, that's true. Yeah, I'm not going to make it until 60.

If you died? I will die. If you died. I will. I will too well I'll die sooner probably but if you died yeah

and your funeral was on a Saturday and I was in a JJ Abrams movie you do the JJ Abrams movie I think so yeah would you ask for the day off if possible would you even ask because I'll be honest with you I would feel like I'm being intrusive

or weird because in my head I'd be like Michael would understand that this is a huge move for me and I need to just do the movie Would you promise me this? Would you promise that when no one was around?

Yeah. You'd go to where my headstone was and go to the cemetery and make sure there's nobody there. But just pull down your pants and say, look, it's my dick. And just do something funny and stupid like that and say, I love you, buddy. I would even put a little hole in the ground and stick my dick in that. You would? Yeah. And say, yeah.

And goes, yeah, suck a ghost or whatever. Let me three think about the JJ, everyone's time. I don't think you would. You would have to. I would, well, no, you know what I would say? I'd call production. I'd say, hey, one of my best friends died. I'm really upset about this.

I don't even know what to do. We're shooting in Paris. There's no way, Michael. You're out of the movie if you. Yeah, you would go to Paris. It's Transformers 8. Yeah. Fuck, man.

You and Ray. They've got to have an out. They got to have an emergency. It's called. What is it called? They said we got someone else. What's a call? They call it when something's an emergency.

We've got Ryan Reynolds. Act of God. No, it's called something. Insurance? No, it's called something. If this happens, insurance pays for it. Yeah, that's not an active God. Now, if it was your...

It is an act of God. If it was your dad or if it was your wife, right, that's one thing. About your dog? But your, you know, fat Chinese friend, no. You're not Chinese. Whatever. You're not really fat. Well, you said earlier that I was fat.

I didn't say you were fat. I said you weren't as skinny as Kalila. She's a beautiful specimen. She's like, she's a model. That is true. She has a model body. But she had a heart attack. Yeah, so she had a heart attack, and I, um, then a cab picked us up.

Can you see how much time's left on the... No, no, we're not. Just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. What? It's only been like 15 minutes. No, go ahead. If no more times.

Okay, no more times. I didn't drive all way into the mountains. You drove a mile. Yeah, no, the mountains to fucking fuck around here. Go ahead. Don't rush me, dude. I'm not rushing. I want to hear about the heart attack.

I really do. So then we went to the local hospital and literally it was a cot. and there was something that looked like a PlayStation 2, and there was a little wire sticking out of it, and they stuck it to her, like, wrist. I go, what the fuck is that? Right? You're playing fucking Metal Gear Solid?

What the fuck is this? Dude, this is the only equipment we had. We're a little village. So I go, we need the main hospital. So then we got another car to go to the main hospital, and then we were there for two weeks, and the only way they would let us fly back is I had to get a first class ticket and then fly a nurse with us legally.

And that's what you did? Yeah, it was a nightmare. And you had to pay for all of it, no insurance paid for any of that? No, I don't care about that. How much it would cost to fly in a nurse? Thousands of dollars. Thousands. When you go there, it's like in this hospital, they give you a booklet, and they go, what

kind of room? I go, what do you want? You open it, and there's like different rooms of pictures. what'd you get her the standard one I got her with the one underneath presidential right yeah she didn't need a president yeah yeah like leaders

I guess like you know How much was it a night for her own I would say about a hundred bucks a night It's not bad But for the Philippines that's a lot 100 bucks of $1,400 for a two weeks day How much was the presidential one? That was like $200

I went I asked her if you want that And she's like no I just do the She was unconscious The other one is, was very fancy. How did you, but when did you hear that she actually had a heart attack and what did that do to you? Well, it was her, I mean, I, because it could have been indigestion. No, it's not. It was complications from her titty jobs.

I mean, her breast implants. I don't know. She had breast implants. She did. And it fucked up her body. Anyone thinking about getting breast implants, there's so many medical side effects that you can. can't even predict that can if it could fuck with your body it fucks with your heart your nervous system so she had a heart attack yeah man and she's how old we had an ablation what's ablation

i don't know it's some sort of heart surgery we still i mean we still have ambulance come over to the house here and there yeah i mean it used to be once or twice a week was a headache and now with but with the right medications and her diet and her sleeping regimen. Is that the right word? Yeah, sure. It's gone far down,

way less. Is it fair to say that you, I mean, look, we obviously put things in perspective once something happens, then everything changes. When that happened, do you hear that?

Yeah. It's a helicopter. Yeah, I know what it is. I live on planet Earth. Okay. So. That's not a helicopter. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah. I mean, did it change your perception of like, God, I really love her. I can't live without her. Oh, my God. She can't die. Did you feel that? Yeah, fuckface. I mean, dude, of course, dude.

Well, I don't know. I love this girl, you know. You do. You want to live with her forever? Yeah, I mean, we. Because you've gotten to some lows. With us? Yeah.

We've had many lows. You've had lows. Yeah. But I also, I don't know how old you are. I'm 46. Yeah, we're the same exact age almost. I mean, you have someone I don't. Well, that's what I'm going to say.

Okay, what were you going to say? But I look at some... It could have been what you were going to say. I was going to say that. Yeah, I thought so. But I look at you, Pauly, Harland Williams. Single losers.

No, I'm just saying, like, you know, you guys are bachelors. And I don't necessarily want that. I don't want it either. Do you think I want to be, like, single? I do not... You just looked at me like, I'm lying. you know there's a difference in me now

many years now I like Rob knows I think you I don't want to be alone I don't want to just get someone to not be alone You like tapping life sources What? You like it I like what? New sex

You like sex No they're not anymore I told you that that was fortunate I was talking to a different guest I mean what happened to the girl that we met like a year ago That you met a camp or whatever She was great but I just didn't feel like I was really truly in love with her

I really felt like even from the beginning I was like I really like her I love being around her but I'm not in love with her. And I just felt like there was something missing, but I really do, like I'm so happy to see that, like I said, we're still Instagram friends. I see that she's dating other people.

And I'm happy for her. Mike, Mike, Mike. Mike? Mikey. Michael? Have you ever heard about arranged marriages? Yeah, dark. Okay, so a lot of times they don't even know each other

and they get together. And they last forever. And they last forever. And they hate each other. It doesn't know. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do.

Sometimes they do. sometimes they don't. Right. Let me say this, and here's a little fucking key that people don't even talk about it. Eventually, you all hate each other.

Do you ever look at Clark and go, I hate you? Yeah, I want to smash a little fucking skull and shatter her fucking cheekbones. Does she ever look at you and like, oh, my God, you were so disgusting.

She looks at my body and goes, yuck. You're a pig. She says it out loud. She goes, yuck! Does she ever come and go? What did I do? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it gets that way, but, you know.

How do you turn it around? We're a partnership. We create a tiger belly my podcast. We have a little business on the side. What's the business on the side? It's just the merch and stuff for the podcast. Does it do well?

It does very well. Can you help Rob with selling our merchandise more? No. It does okay. Yeah. And she, um, we also have animals in the house. Yep, I know. And they bark at me incessively. Why do they, is it because I'm white?

No, I don't know. Why do you have so many people working for you? What do you mean? There's like six people in that room. I know, I know. Why haven't you done a Netflix special? Why are you asking me that? Because I want you to do one because I've seen a lot of,

unfunny motherfuckers and I can't believe how they got shows because I think somebody I even me who's only done like 50 shows could figure out how to be funnier than some of these people and I'm not saying that because there's a geniuses like DeLea and uh sigora and you and harlan who everybody needs specials and here's a thing tell me please I don't know why it's a thing here's a thing I asked about a year ago and my agent goes well they're giving out these 15 minute ones you want to do one of those what And I go, I go, I don't want to do a 15 minute one. And then that was the last discussion.

And I was afraid to go further because it was going to hurt my feelings. So if Netflix wants to do a special, ask me. I just don't. I've been doing it long enough. I've been doing it long enough. You're yelling. I'm sorry, but I've been doing it long enough for somebody to ask me. It's unbelievable.

Have you been asked? There's this one guy. I'm not going to say his name, but he was on this one show that's very popular. this guy and for an hour I only kept watching because I thought to myself I could go up right now with not knowing anything I can make up things funnier this person was so bad

I couldn't believe this person got a special and I thought why doesn't Bobby Lee have a special because kill it why doesn't there's so many actresses Fortune should have one listen I go I go on the road I sell tickets you make a lot of money it's all because of word of mouth right it's not because it's no dumb fucking special I'm a regular at every club in America. Yeah. Doesn't make sense.

And here's the thing, the gatekeepers at these places, you know what it's like. There are casting directors out there who literally don't like me. I know because they've heard, you know, they're not into what I'm doing. I've heard a lot of them that don't like you. Yeah. And there are some casting directors like Allison Jones and Wendy O'Brien and, is that her name? I don't know. Yeah.

I haven't seen a casting director in a while. I haven't been working a year and a year and a year. But there are some casting directors that you go in and you go, oh, this is family. They like me. And other ones that are... And there are people that are part of these networks or decision makers who you know deep down inside

that probably are into what you're doing. And that's what it is. So they think maybe Bobby's like a hands-on physical comedian where people need to be on stage and he needs to interact. No, no. I know that if I did one, that it would be good.

I know that people would like it. That would be great. And I know what my skill level is, but I'm not going to also grovel. You're not going to beg, but your agent should be. I'm not begging. Your agent should be out there saying, this guy should have a Netflix special if this idiot's having a special. Now get him a special and let's move on. No, but they're not going to do that.

He makes $30,000 on a weekend. People love them all across the country. There's not a bunch of Asian stand-up comedians. I'm not groveling. Give him a Netflix special. I'm just saying. Okay. You have other questions?

you have on the last few the rest these are the only questions that I have I actually wrote down but uh you know Rob wanted to know this first of all Kalila said Ask him about going to Arizona and your parents Watching Game of Thrones and sing Hodor's penis

Coincidentally Hodor was a guest on the show that's coming up But I know are you being real? Yes Hodor was here Hodor was here I didn't know you liked Hodor well my mom She's been with she she lost her virginity to my dad That's that's sad but I didn't know that my so check it out I go I was in town last week I go you want to watch this cool show Game of Thrones she's like all right so we're watching it and there was a scene where a guy was trying to assassinate Circe by selling her some bad wine and then like the orthoracchi catcher this guy and he's completely naked tied to a horse and he's bloodied up and he's running and he's completely naked and his penis was on screen

And she screamed when she saw the penis. I thought it was Hodor. It was Hordors, right? Hodor's the big guy. I know. Stop, I'm not doing with the story. Fuck not. Okay, gosh.

This doesn't make sense. He's riding a horse. I don't remember. I know, I'm just saying. Big guy. And then she goes, she screamed. I go, why you scream? She goes, I never see other penis before.

She had never seen a penis. Yeah. And his dick was small, like my dad's. She's like, oh, like daddies. But when she saw Hordors, she goes, they come that big? So my mom thought that my dad's dick was the largest style that it came in.

And what I told her, I go, no, that's the smallest style. You got the smallest brand of dick out there. There's a big, way bigger one. I did. And she goes, that he is? I go, yeah. See, Hodor's, like, a bigger, you know.

That's like, you know, if you're rich and you have money, you know what I mean, or whatever. How long have you been married? Fifty-five years. She goes, they come bigger. They come bigger. And she was absolutely shocked by it. And I think that if she would have seen Holder's penis.

20 years ago, she would have left my dad. She left your dad. Yeah. But she had never seen. Was your dad there when she was telling this? Yeah, but he's in, he had a stroke. So he just, he's just laying there like this. They can't have sex anymore.

Bro, my dad can't eat. Is that true? Yeah, he can't swallow food. He has tubes that are, he had with this. you know put food inside him through these tubes dude he's dude I'm telling you right now dude it's soon

I feel it he is he is on the edge and like any call right now you get scared every dude my mom dude I tell you that's one time last year she called me and she

I swear to God this happened she calls me in the morning she goes puppy I go yeah mom she goes daddy he won't wake up that's what she says I go what

he won't wake up so I go call the ambulance and they call me back right so she hangs up five minutes later and then I call

and it's busy her landline and then five minutes is there she calls me I pick up and I go mom and she goes he wake up

how hard did you try in the first place What you Did you go Daddy wake up Like that And then

And then go He dead I mean Find out first If he's dead Don't call me Unless he's dead Right

I couldn't fucking believe it He won't wake up Oh he wake up He wake up Is it Do you think that Like, you know, my grandfather has Alzheimer's, and I know he's dying. He's still alive?

Yeah, he's 92, and he's been my best friend forever. And, but I know, like, I feel like in the last five years, like a piece, every year, a piece of, a piece of him has died. Like, almost like, I'm mourning slowly over the years. Yeah. Instead of all of a sudden, a shock like he's dead, it's almost, not that it's going to be easy when he dies, but I think if he died all of a sudden unexpected, that would devastate me back when. But, like, every year, it's getting worse and worse to the point where he's. starting not to know anybody. Do you feel like if it would have happened many years ago,

it would have been way harder than it is now? I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? Like, does it make it easier in a way? I think I'm more prepared than my brother. Right. And I keep telling my brother, I'm like, you got to be prepared, dude.

I am. In fact, I'm looking at houses now. Before I came here, I looked at two houses. And I'm looking for guest houses or places for my mom to live. Because she will live with me. That's nice that you want that. I would never allow that. I would never allow that.

that's a Korean tradition or an Asian tradition you should take care of your own no no my mom goes into a nursing home are you fucking kidding me dude no I'm gonna be honest with you I couldn't do it I bought her house she lives in Indiana I'll have a nurse come there and help her I don't want to live with my mother well how old is her mom right now she's 70 but if she gets older God forbid I don't want anything to happen to her I love her I wish it the best what if she can't function by yourself she'll live with your mom and your guest no no but why but why but what? Why is that? I'll have... Why can't she live in here? I'm not being funny here. I'm honest. I want to give you a real answer. Yeah, be in the real answer.

I think the real answer is I would go fucking bananas. When I go visit her for like two days or three days and I have lunch with her or I have dinner with her and Gordon, I love my mother. Who's Gordon? That's her, my stepdad. Oh. But I just feel like I've got to get, yeah, Gordon. And he honestly talks like... King of the Hill. I love him the death. He's like, I can hear him yelling, Julie, and he pauses

before he swears. So he's like, well, we can't get the fucking TV to work. Yeah. Thank God for him. But I got them a house and, you know, I've helped them out tons of times. I love my mother. I wish you're the best, but I don't want, I couldn't live with her. Yeah, but would have Gordon died. Right. G man died. Well, she would get some money. Oh, G man died. She would be able to live by herself. She gets to the point where she's incontinent she can't move her hips okay hips are hip replacement maybe he don't swivel right i'd help her get a hip replacement michael michael i can't move my hips well first of all she's more jewish new york whatever do that one no what makes me understand the joke more and then you're like well what do we want me to do and it's just like i want to live with you what what happens

i love you honey i can't mom i can't what that's crazy dude i couldn't you know what you know what with me. Here's a deal. You can't live with me. Mom, listen, I'm going to find you a wonderful, happy place that you'll have your own place. You can still cook. I'm going to have someone that watches if you need any help.

I'll come visit. I'll do whatever. You have friends. Wow, that's a difference between us then. Would you let her move to L.A.? Let's cross that bridge. It's really, that's a lot to think about. That's a lot to think.

Right now, I'm just trying to hold on my grandfather. And you've jumped, you have jumped to my mother living with me. And I don't think that's fair. I find it interesting because I think that culturally, that's the difference between maybe Koreans and everyone else. You guys are warmer. People, you know, maybe. It's not that. I don't think it's Korean thing.

I would let my mom live. Because your mom was a good mom. Your mom loved you unconditionally. Your mom loves you. My mother poured an oatmeal in my hair as a child, maybe go to school. Mustard. My mother was, she was the center of. attention. I think she loved me, but she

was the center. When you have a child, they become the center of attention. I didn't get that love. I didn't get that nurturing. I didn't get that thing you have, that approval and all these things. And I am fucked up because then I'm getting better. But my relationship isn't like that. Now, my grandmother

called me and said, I need a place to stay. It'd be different, I think. I'd take care of my mother. I would make sure she's fine. But to live with me, fuck you. I don't think, Natalie, would let her mom live with us. Yeah. Well, there you go. She's not a bad person. Who the fuck is Natalie?

That's his wife, dog. Oh, my bad. Last question, Rob asked this. Did you really fuck a Pringles can and turn it into a fleshlight? Is that true? You and your brother, a Pringle's can. Did you turn it into a flesh light? You don't have to answer it. I'm going to answer it. I want to answer it. I don't even know how you do that. What do you do? It's easy. Go ahead. Tell me because I'm going to do it. Okay. Well, this is only if there's no, like, adult, you know, sex store wherever you are right you can just go to walmart okay and you get a couple of cheap items what you get a pringles can then you get um one of those rubber gloves you get two dish rag that what the pads the pads sponge sponge is two dish sponges sponge is soft

yeah the soft kind not with the you know the green broillo brillo part yeah yeah the soft time you're into that spongy right and then rubber bands and then you got a plastic vagina i have a feeling you take the glove and you wrap it around the lid so you're fucking like one of the fingers or something no what you do is you take the glove right so look at the opening up this is where you put your hand the glove right right right you put the brillo pads like that right then you fold the opening over one of the Brillow pads like this, right? And then if you look, it'll form kind of like a vaginal opening.

Right. But in that, in that space, do you put rubber band there? No. And they go in the can, the top of the can. Do you do this? Can you do a demonstration maybe on YouTube? Yeah, I might have to do a demonstration. But it's like, it's basically the mechanics is the pads,

the brillo, you put it inside the Pringles. How many times can you fuck it? My brother, um, you know, when I went, because we went back to Phoenix. Last week, I just got back a couple of days ago. And one night, I could hear him rumbling around in the room. Yeah. Right?

And the next morning. When she's pop, you can't stop? I walked in and he had gotten, that's funny. I just got that. But when I walked in, he had hoarded, like he has pringles and the whole setup underneath the bed just for visits. So he has like rubber bed. It's very cheap.

You're talking $10. What kind of flavor does it matter? You want less of a smell. I'd say original pringle. You don't want a sour cream smell. Nothing spicy either. Nothing spicy either. Nothing spicy.

I think one of those short ones would work too. Yeah, the baby ones. I do the big ones. I think it's, yeah. You use it once and you throw it away. Yeah. It really does work. It really feels like a vagina.

If you have to put oil in it. I'm glad you admitted this. I don't care about stuff like that. Dude, I don't care. I fucked a sock when I was younger a couple times. I do this as an adult. I don't do that as an adult. So when you masturbate, you just use your hand?

I don't masturbate a lot. I'll be honest with you. Why? I don't know. It just takes me a while to get going and then my ADD kicks in and I got to think of all these things I got to do for the day. And it kind of becomes a burden. But if I think I'm going to have sex with someone, then I'll try to do it once or twice

before I have sex so I could last longer maybe. That's so funny that you do that. That's so silly that you do that. It doesn't even, it's not even true, is it? It is true. It helps. It does help sometimes. Do you last long?

I last forever You can have sex forever Yeah Do you stay hard forever Do you ever lose a dick I'll lose it hard I've never lost my dick no Have you ever like said sorry

Kalala I can't do it tonight My dick won't go No but I've been with women Where I looked at them and I just can't get it up Yeah You're honest And they're like really Did you have fun today

I thought we covered a lot of different things You know that I don't feel like I was on as much as I No no you were on You were way beyond on Yeah I was blow on. No, no, no.

Here's why I think it was the best one because I didn't, I was a little nervous because I've never had a guest on twice and this is called inside of you. And usually I get to know the guests and we talk about their past and that's what we talked about. But for this, it was like just riffing. So I'm like, well, how do I talk to Bob? You know, what do I ask Bobby that he hasn't heard? And it just became a conversation.

And I really felt like it was. Well, because the thing is, is that you're yelling again. You're yelling for some reason. Because I'm going to tell you this, I, I, this is not my first rodeo, as they say. Yeah. And you feel comfortable with me And he's got a podcast It's not just that

It's just talk a lot And so a lot of these stories are things These aren't fresh stories Some of them are fresh stories You don't do Because we looked at a house around the corner here Oh please move near me No

Well I will have so much fun Just because the way you just said that Please move No I would never do it Would you see me more often you think Absolutely He would see you wouldn't see I would see more

Let me tell you something Rob when he asked me to do something I do it will you do Tiger Belly yes will you come into parks for my birthday yes will you do whatever he asks me I do it because I love Bobby and I love being around him and I will always want to be with him

if I'm not doing something already and he asked me to do something I will do it because I enjoy him I think he's cute and funny and talented and just I think there's Why are you telling me this so angry? I'm just saying let me ask you something does Dax not like me

I feel like he doesn't like man I mean we don't talk about you extensive That's what I don't think he knows who I am How do you know how do you know that he knows who I am I bet you money doesn't know who I am I bet you've been around him before Let me say something about this

Yeah I think Dax is a very I love Daxe one of my best friends in the world I'll say this His conversations with people That I've noticed Which are fantastic Are different than the kind of conversations

He'd have with you Where I'm not so sure he'd be getting into all this real dirty dark fucked up shit and he doesn't maybe find that as funny as we do and the people who listen like you're fucked up past and my fucked up past is what this show is about yeah but i don't feel like i have a fucked up pass and i i think that here's the deal though and i'm going to say i'm going to correct you my friend correct me i'm going to correct you my friend okay is that we all have this kind of past i just don't allow i i just don't allow i I just say it.

You're not filtered. No, I just, you know what? This is how I feel. These are my secrets. These are, this is who I am. And judge me or not. Right. And a lot of people think that I'm a filthy animal.

I don't think you're a filthy animal. I know, but some people do. But the thing is, is that you as well are a filthy, we're all filthy animals. By the way, you know what? If this makes you feel better, Dax and I are close friends. I've known him for since before he became famous. Yeah. Yeah.

He got the idea to have a podcast He told me this I'm not making this When he was on my podcast He says I want to do this And then he says hey Can I use your producer Rob? Who's now become his producer as well And I'm happy for it

He's one of the guys However However Rob's one of the And Dax wants to tell guys I haven't done a show I'm doing the show But it's taking a long time For me to be a guest

You haven't done the show You've never done Dax's show I've never done Dax's show Because Dax does only superstars For the most part Is that what it is? I think it is Oh no no no no

Yeah, I'm going to let go to the Dax. I'll never do it. You'll never ask me. But he's got, he's on another level. But I'll ask me. That's another level. No, I don't care. Would you, would you do a live show?

I know. I'm going to pass. Is that true? Yeah, yeah. Why do you think live shows aren't good? I can't be myself. I've done them before. It's just, I just get too worried about.

That's when I edit, like, my mind. Because here, when I'm talking, I don't, I'm not worried about laughs. I don't care what I'm saying is funny. Some of it is. sometimes when people go like I sing a song sometimes I sing a song a couple weeks ago on mine Yeah you open with it usually

Yeah but I made up a song and people really like it But when I was doing it in my head If I did it live I don't think it would have got to laugh Right you would have planned it maybe Yeah yeah and I don't want to plan it Right And the song that I sang is this Me

Walking down the street Feeling so good to me Yeah yeah Having fun with my friends to the end something like that Was that actually the song? That was it Can we put some music under that?

And people really have been going It's like singing it or like on YouTube Do they put music to it? I'm writing a song up basically I'm gonna talk about it I love it Anyway, thanks for having you on Okay bye

Hang on don't just jump away What I'm not gonna come back on your show In the next year you think Dude of course you're always all welcome Am I like one of your top 15 favorite guest? You're in the top three for sure. Top three?

Who's ahead of me? Am I going to be here forever or what? All right, this is it. I love you. Thanks, Bobby League. Football season is here. Believe has the podcast to enhance your football experience. From the pros, one of the most interesting quarterback rooms, to college.

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