Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Bobby Lee Returns Again

Episode Date: March 24, 2020

Bobby Lee (Tigerbelly, Mad TV) joins us this week to talk about the recent trauma, loss, and different life transitions that he’s been dealing with over the last few months. Through the laughter and deflection on this week’s show, Bobby really opens up on the loss of his father and how the emotional spiral afterwards resulted in his relapse after 17 years of sobriety, a scary depression, and a bumpy period of time in his relationship with long time girlfriend Khalyla. The Slept King is one of a kind… we also get into juggling two podcasts between Tigerbelly and Bad Friends, his risque’ antics, and some crazy stories on set. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bobby Lee is coming shortly. So for those people who have YouTube me and messaged me, the interview is here. We just do an intro. That's right. Bobby, you can fast forward if you want. I hope you don't because the intros are sometimes fun.

You get a little information. But Bobby Lee is coming up. hilarious, intense, everything you've ever dreamed of. Holy crap. I don't think he gets more serious. Bobby Lee than on my podcast. He opened up. He eventually gets serious.

He will get there. You're going to laugh. You're going to go, oh, my God. And then you're going to go, oh, my God. And then you're going to go, wow, and then he lets it go. And I think he does it with me because we both experience a lot of stuff in our lives. And we've been friends for a long time. And it's nice that he's comfortable enough to, he just supports me.

He has such successful podcasts. He has two now. And they're both incredibly successful. And yet, I know he doesn't have any time, but he's come on the podcast again. He actually came with Kalila to the other podcast I had. And I've been on his show four times and we're just buddies, goes, whatever you need. And that's what I like, because I have friends that are. incredibly busy and they're just busy and they're not coming back on the podcast they don't have time

for it they're doing and i'm grateful if they even came on so that's all you asked for but bobby lee is the kind of friend nick swartson tom welling these guys come back stephen emmel jamey lynn sigler they come back on the podcast and that's really uh it's really cool man it's cool when they take time from their busy lives to join us and share personal shit man uh you know i don't want to getting into all the coronavirus stuff. You know, you guys hear about that on the news every day. You don't want to hear it. You know, it's been a lot of stuff,

and there's so much misinformation in all this, and you know, you don't know what to believe. And now I believe in quarantining yourself if you think you're at risk and you think you're at... And the big problem is, is, you know, I'm not, again, I'm not a Dr. Ryan. But don't you think the big problem is spreading it to people who have weak immune systems

and all these pre-existing conditions or old people? So I get it. I'm not going around them. And I'm going to try and limit the amount of people I even see, which is hard because I need to be around people. Yeah, I mean, I think the thing is just wash your hands. Be responsible.

Be responsible. Don't be a moron. Don't go out to the bars. Stay out of groups. Yep. We're trying to minimize. I think if you just minimize everything right now because we don't have the medical supplies to account for that.

It's crazy. It's just, a crazy world, I mean, you know, I think it really, when it got, it got, when they said the NBA shutting down, you know, you heard South by Southwest, you said, okay, MBA, the NHL, when the, then the stock market's plan. You're like, wow, this is what, they canceled the end, something serious. Yeah. But, um, you know, you stick together. We've, you know, this, the planet has made it through so many things. That doesn't mean you should take it lightly. It just means, you know, do the best you can and try to be responsible and smart. That's, I'm not going to, I'm going to, I'm

to end that. I don't think we need to talk about that anymore. You know, before we get to my good friend, Bobby Lee, I just want to say again, thank you for listening to the podcast. I say it because I just do. Without your subscription, without your listening and, you know, the little notification thing on the YouTube, Ryan works so hard.

So I commend you on that, and I really hope you guys give the video a chance. Watch it. You know, you can listen to it, subscribe, but watch it too and spread the word, share it. The interviews are great with Jamie Lindsigler. teared up. I had a tear, tripping down my face. It was intense. It was beautiful. Funny. It was everything. The Martin Star was a great interview. It was a great interview and he got deep and just give it a chance, you know? Also, shout out to the patrons. I did a live pot. I've been doing

since I'm, you know, at home mostly now. I've been doing live Instagrams. I've been doing live Facebooks. And all of a sudden, people are joining Patreon. They're subscribing. The subscription to the podcast is free. but people are, you know, donating a dollar, $5, $100 a month to, you know, to help the podcast. And by the way, you don't just do that and get nothing for it. There's bonus footage, which we're going to shoot one today. There's inside of me that the patrons get to ask. I respond a lot on there.

It's like a community of friends. And I always said, if it gets to a certain point where it's big enough or, you know, it's paying for everything and we're doing well, hey, let's have a patron party. a Patreon party in L.A. I'll rent a place out or my backyard. We just speak to patrons, maybe a few celebs, but no randos. No randos are showing up. It's like everybody there's like, are you a patron? Yeah. Cool. Great. Yeah. That's it. And you, Ryan. And me, I'm invited. Yeah, Bryce is invited. Jess is invited. You guys all work hard. Oh, great. So join Patreon. Whatever is great. I appreciate that. The podcast, the live podcast was canceled for March 31st.

And that was at the North Door. And we have changed it to July 2nd. So, go on my Instagram or my Twitter. It's at the North Door in Austin and it's going to sell out. So we're doing two shows, a 730 and a 9.30 at the North Door on July 2nd. And that's going to, it's a Thursday night. So it's a better night for people. It's going to be great. Hopefully, you know, it gets best.

Things get better. And by July, we're good to go. Camp Rosie, people have been talking about it. My first camp, adult camp I'm doing for the October Halloween weekend, 30th and 31st. You're going to go to that, right? No. Because the wedding I was supposed to go to in April as now moved to that weekend. It was changed.

Why would anybody have a fucking wedding on that weekend? Because it's England and they don't really do Halloween stuff. Didn't Halloween originate in Ireland? That's not England. But it's close. It's not the same. I'm skipping a job. Point being, I can't go to the Camp Rosie because my cousin's wedding is now that weekend.

Right. Okay. But the Camp Rosie is going to be in that weekend. Let me tell you there'll be link soon. So just wait for it. But it will sell out. Probably 150 to 200 people. That's all that can attend.

There's going to be some tickets that you can get that maybe room near my bunk or in my area in my cabin, not bunk. You don't just, but there's bunks and cabins. Sure. Includes your food, your snacks, all your alcohol, your betting, your activities, parties, costume, it's going to be a freaking blast. And we'll get more into that. So also, if you want to get any merch from Left on Laurel, my band or the podcast inside of you, go to inside of you online.

Um, we've got great podcasts coming up, uh, great guests. And, you know, at a time like this, when we're sitting around, we, you know, you need to, I hope people will continue to do podcasts. At least we had things in the can. We got things in the can for, uh, for the next. At least a month. At least a month. And great guests. So yeah, let's talk to Bobby Lee right now. Uh, he's hilarious. I've known for a long time. He'll, he'll surprise you. He'll upset you. Both. Both at the same time.

It's, it's, he's something else. And he goes balls out. literally, but check this out. Check this podcast out. Let's get inside of Bobby Lee. It's my point of you. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. Who is this?

I like this guy about, you sit next there? Yeah, I sit over here. This is Ryan He's the engineer I love him Ryan's the best You never met him Yes I have

Have you? I've met No Images now Oh Because I like your profile Your face You look like a hawk

A cock A cock A hawk Yeah he's got one of those Angular hawk faces Like Dealiyah Presid good president Chris Delia

Yeah On the coin Your profile It looks president He does have a good Like a Lincoln face Yeah Like a Lincoln

All right I'll take it I don't know. Are you producing the show now or what? Yeah. And I'm sitting here recording things and the shit. Are you, is this your show right now? I can just watch you interview him all day.

Now, I didn't even know where we're starting. I was just asking some questions. I need to know about my environment. You thought I was going to be angry. The first thing I said to Ryan was like, Bobby's going to come in, pissed off. And he's the one who's two hours late. That's Ryan.

You know, the guy you've known forever. Yeah. No, because, um, pitch reading. I want to. I want to be on time for you. And, you know, I said yesterday, I go, what about 4.30? And then you felt like you were like, it's got to be four.

And then all of a sudden I'm like, in my head, no, just listen. So in my head, I'm like, how am I going to? Because I'm in Culver City was, was a baldheaded guy that does America's Got Talent? Mickey Roark. No, no, who is it? Howie Mandel. Yeah, I was with that guy And that Filipino guy

Joe Koi Yeah And then I was with them at the Amazon's And I was like looking at the clock And I was like now 340 You were at Amazon The studio Amazon Not the Amazon's

No we went The Amazon's in the South Africa America, South America South America South America South America's where the Amazon is I was flying there from there No we were at the company

And we're pitching something And then I was like Oh in my head And I said it out loud. I go, Lex Luthor is going to be mad if I don't leave now. And they're like, who's Lex Luthor? I go, Michael Rosenbaum. They go, we're fans, all that stuff.

You did not. You did? Yeah, because I was panicking. Why were you panicking? You're the one who's like a guy got to do fucking Rosemouth's podcast. I would do anything for you. But my point is that you're the one that was like, it's got to be four. Anyway, we're here and we're doing it.

I didn't say it had to be four. I just said, hey, you know. Is this how you, let's let's listen. Did you? Jesus Christ. dude i love you i'm blown away by we haven't talked since you went off to that well in the center there's your coffee oh my gosh she's the perfect timing thank you so much look at that thanks jess thank you jess i just remember you always like you know you're sleeping

on a couch you're doing all these things you're always a funny lovable guy we all loved you we all were rooting for you at least i was and now i think you're like you're like taking you're making so much money you are like you fuck you are no Don't try to act humble. Don't try to act humble. You fuck are you. No, I'm so happy for you. You bring that up like that.

You are so, listen to me. I got nothing going. You're a regular dude who's now fucking doing it. Everybody wants you. You're with Howie Mandel. This is. Dude, you're doing, you're doing a podcast. All right.

Hang on a second. If you want to do this. You used to live an apartment. I did four podcasts. The most any guests is come on. I went to your little apartment. You got our favorite person. I love you.

And in fact, all your get, All your fans, every time, it's funny because I would read the comments, they go, well, if Rosenbaum would do fucking video, we'd watch his fucking show. Tell that. And I was like, we got to do video. That's the reason I did video is because your fans said they'd watch if I. And they're clever. I listen to them.

Yeah, yeah. They're intrinsically clever. They are. You listen to them, too. I listen to everything, what they say. Everything. Yeah. The way I dress, the way I behave, the way I walk.

Does it bother you when they say something bad? I don't care. I don't care. Because I don't listen. What's the worst thing someone said about you That's a fan that loves you but said Chink Yeah

Someone he said Shut up you chink Was it a white person though You know how sometimes the profile photo is like You know like a piece of like a flower Sometimes they do that Right so you don't know who the faith Yeah or sometimes it's like

You know what I mean the symbol of some sort of sporting team Right The Kansas City people Whatever the team is You know what I mean Against the Chiefs. Right, right. You know, and they won, right?

They did. I saw the game. No, they didn't. Yeah, they did. I saw the game. You were there? No, what happened was I, um, I was in Hawaii, and I was flying to Hawaii, and in line was this, uh, Chinese fella, he was in, um, the Hawaii 50.

You were in Hawaii 50, too. No, Magnum P.I. Magnum P.I. He, no, he was also in the Lost, was a, just lost, was a Chinese fellow's name, Daniel, Daniel, Daniel Daniel Day Kim's. He's great, great actor. So he's in line with me, this Chinese fellow. And he goes, he's Korean.

That's what I was going to say. I didn't want to say it. Because if I corrected you and I was wrong, racist. That's what I was. I was like, baiting you. I was banning him. I was banning him. I knew it.

So the Chinaman said, you know, he had the corona, Corona, Corona, mask on. He didn't. And he goes, hey, I go, what's up, Chin Chin? And he goes, he goes, come to my house to watch, because he lives in Hawaii to watch the Super Bowl. Now, I've never seen a Super Bowl in my whole life. but when he asked me, I was like, I have to do it. Do you like him? Is that why you admire him?

I'm a big fan. And I went to his house and I watched this whole football game. The first one I've ever seen with his kids and his family, it was actually pleasant. It seemed very normal to me, you know? Right. So that's how I know about the Kansas City people. You had normal, like, at people's houses that aren't, like, do you like when you're hanging around normal people who don't want you to start, like, shitting on the floor or doing

the butt licking someone's dick on camera? those are things that are blasphemous things you're saying I don't do either one of those things Well I saw a video that Santino The Great Santino The Great Santino I kissed his orange sack Okay

And in Korean culture If you have red hair That's a lie You're about to tell a lie That's true Yeah No Korean culture I know

I kiss the sack You kissed a sack Yeah because it's a yes I don't think it was a sack I think it was a shaft I looked at it And I think it was a shaft Well I'm the one that kissed it

So I would know My assistant Jess goes you have to see this I saw it she goes it's so funny she started to show me I don't want to see it again why I don't know why it wasn't like I thought it was it was funny but it was just it was kind of like what what yeah yeah it was it too much did you think you crossed the line I swear to God I would kiss the tip of your bare dick you would for you if you pulled it out and go kiss the tip of my bare dick my Jewish penis whatever it is you don't care you're not racist I don't think about it

okay yeah I don't want to know what it is right this guy know he's already going cut yeah this guy no i would not do him but you would really if i stood up right now on camera and said kiss the tip of my penis you would do it yeah because it's a it's on camera it's a yes and thing you don't deny when you're doing improv you don't deny right so if he pulls his penis out on camera it's showbiz friend right so you have the yes and it you can't deny it and go i don't want to do it that's against the improv rules all right right so it's like that's the deal so i heard that you apologized for it you felt bad about it I didn't feel bad about it but I feel bad because

you know I have some reputation things out there that aren't true and but it's like by kissing an orange man's orange man's penis orange man you mean by redhead redhead orange man's penis on camera it would it validates those rumors that aren't true about me right

if he would do this he would do this he would do that yeah right right yeah yeah yeah I mean you've done some provocative things in your life. Like what? Well, I remember this story where you took a euphonic, you defecated on a Comedy Central. No, no, that's not true.

It's Mad TV. And yes, I defecated. But that right there, I don't feel bad for it because that was called, it's shadow play. What shadow play? It's a Joy Division song. I like Joy Division. And I don't know what this, but I just use it, that word, shadow play.

You just like it's a, like, I think it's a play in the shadows. Right. Dark shadows. Yeah, dark shadows. And number two, it was, he deserved it. The poo wasn't for, um, just, just, just, just, for Shaq Valley. It was revenge. Right.

Do you think you have to up the ante? I'm, I'm being honest with you. Do you think, don't look at Ryan, don't deflect. Do you think Bobby Lee now, because you're Bobby Lee, you are, you're a fixture. Is that the right word in a, in a, in America, people's homes, people know you, people. Oh, you are, you're an internet, you have, you are an internet sensation. I have no idea what the fuck I've been going through lately. Well, the last two days, I've been like...

Hang on. Let me finish. Because you certainly make faces when I cut you off. You look at me like, oh, you're feisty today. I love it. Go ahead. Oh, fuck. It's your show.

Go ahead. No, I'm just saying, do you feel like you have to up the Annie all the time because I kissed his shaft or his sack? Now I have to go to the next thing because they're expecting more. Do you feel there's a pressure? Well, first of all, I think that every man has kissed a shaft one time in their life. Not by choice sometimes. Maybe not my choice, but they have. You think every man has at least kissed a shaft?

Yeah. Ryan, may I ask you, have you ever kissed the shaft? No. I have not. Okay. Okay. So you were wrong. Does Kalila ever go, Bobby?

Bobby what? You kissed your friends, you're in business with his, first of all, it wasn't his bearer shit. It was through his underwear. Second of all, he said the whole bit was, smell my dick. Did you actually smell it? Yeah. So he pulled it. out to smell it. His real dick.

No, what you saw on the internet, right? Right. So he pulled it out. He goes, smell it. And I was supposed to smell it, but I switched one off. And I went, I just kissed it. You kissed it. And it was a European kiss. It wasn't like, you know what I mean? It was like an Italian kiss. Bonjour. That's French.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. European. Yeah, if you, a rattlesnake bit your dick. And, you know, that whole, the whole story? Yeah, I know the story. People make that thing. Like if you, when they get drunk Or they get out Would you suck it out for a million dollars? I would suck venom out of your dick If you were gonna die

This, you notice that what you're You're answering a question And then this is what's called a non sequitur You completely went to a rattlesnake Biting my dick By the way, inside of you fans, if you're listening We will get to a darker place But right now we have to let

Some of this sort of just land What I love about this is that You know You have Tiger Belly right now Now you have a new show What's it called? Bad friends. Bad friends. With Andrew Santino.

It was in the top six. I know it is. I've never been on the top 60. All right. I'm relying on your fans for being true and loyal. No, but so I love Santino. He's very funny. You guys, I have a great chemistry.

You and I could have done one. You didn't ask me. You could have asked me. Want to do one? It's too late now. Why? But why a year ago? You could be kissing a Jewish guy.

Why two years ago didn't you ask me? You're doing a show. I didn't think you wanted another podcast. Yeah, but I'm just saying you, my brother too, my brother, Steve. I would have done with him as well If he would have asked me Andrew's the one that went We're doing it this date

I'm going to buy the equipment You know what I mean? I have to be coerced into doing it But let me ask you something This is a serious question I want you to be honest with me Go ahead Do you think it's too much

And now you're going to quit Tiger Belly? No No no no You think you're going to keep Tiger Belly? 100%. Tiger Bell is my number one So you're going to keep both of them Yeah

You realize that's a lot of work Well you know Theo Vaughn has three He does He does? Yeah He has one with Shob He has one on his um and he has one that he does with a guest.

That's three. Jesus. A lot of people, you know, Rogan does four or five a week, sometimes two a day. Would you do this only if somebody said you can never act again? No stand up. You just do your podcast, but you're going to make millions of dollars, which you are. No, I can't do it. You'd have to, you'd say no.

Because my dream is bigger than that. My dream is, and I, you know, it's so funny because I ran into Joe Rogan last night and we were talking about how you don't need to fuck with Hollywood anymore because we are taking control of our own destinies. is we don't have to wait in line. You know, you know what it's like. You wait in line, you sign up. You wait for the call.

Try to get an audition. Try to get a call back. And then when you get on set, they tell you what to do. So you're in control with the podcast. You're in control of yours as well, correct? I am, but I don't have the luxury of, you know, you, fortunately for you, look, I love mine. I'm going to keep doing mine, and mine's doing good. But, you know, it's like.

How long you've been doing yours? For two years. Okay. We've been doing ours, what, for four? Yeah. For the first two years, we didn't make any money. Yeah, it's a slow thing. I love it, and I'm passionate about it.

I'm going to keep doing it. You're very good at it. You're very good at it. And, you know, when you did ours, before you even had this one, I thought to myself, this is something that's down Mikey's fucking lane, man. Well, thanks. And you, by the way, you've been so supportive with it. And I will always do yours, and you'll always do ours. You're always.

Your family, your family. So my point is that I don't know why I have to come in here and you be so hostile toward me and so aggressive. You know, you got eagle face over here writing down a bunch of Eagle face, right? You got fucking, you know, you're accusing me of sucking sucking dicks on the sly. You know what I mean? I don't get it.

I came here and I'm always going to do this show. And I came here for you, you fuck. Do you know what? I ask Colila sometimes because she keeps your life together. She does. And I say, hey, can we go get dinner somewhere? So she has to go through. Do you have time these days to actually?

Let me just let me finish. Let me just finish what I was going to say earlier. Okay. Okay. So it's so funny that you say, um, the things are good. You know what I mean? And this and that because they're not. Okay.

I'll tell you why. Okay. Okay. I sit around every, I wake up every day and I have the same fears and the same, like, why didn't this happen? You know what I mean? I wish this would have happened. Why don't have this? It's human condition and human nature, right?

You're never going to be happy because success and money and all this stuff doesn't fix you, as you well know. it just it doesn't it doesn't no one can understand that though if they're broke or they're not making money they think you guys are fucking idiot you have the rest you have your look what you're doing right we need to look at that and then the way you get through it is you go um i want to do you do sometimes you do a gratitude list oh right i do a gratitude list i look around my environment i try to be mindful about my surroundings you and i i went to a wellness center and they And you went to one about a year later. And I'm seeing the things that I learned through you now.

Keep going. I like it. You know what? I don't like what you're doing. You're trying to skew the fucking thing to I know where you were heading. And I'm trying to go the opposite way. No, but it's because I want the push and pull. I love the push and pull.

I like it too. Yeah, I mean, we'll talk about the dicks later and the sucking. But the thing is, is that eagle face. Eagle, eagle. What's up, man? You go back to this. Don't tell me what to do. I'm the guess.

You were getting deep, and I like when you get deep. This is the real you. I want the audience to see the real body because you know, no one asked you to get deep on these other guys, shop and all these guys put you on their show and like, oh, make me laugh and let's talk about shit. And if they don't want to listen to, I want to get deep with you. You know, it's so funny because when I went to, let's go back to what happened. Let's go back to what happened to me in August, if that's the direction that you want to go to.

All I want to know is I want, you could always talk to me. I'm going to talk to you, and that's why it's about the inside of it. You got, well, God, listen, when your dad passed, which I know that's where it's starting. Yeah. I know your world crumbled, and it's been crumbling. And, like, you know, but I, I told you I was there for you. I knew you were going to get help. I don't know how many times I had to tell you, I'm here.

And when I say I'm here, you know, if I, you're deflecting, you're looking at my Rudy poster. It's a real signature, though. Sean Aspen. A really good movie. Great movie. But go ahead. So in August, you lost your dad.

Yeah. I lost my dad. And, um, what happened was, my mom called me and she goes, um daddy he he he he he in hospice i was at i was at a hot dog place i love hot dogs i love chicago and hot dogs because of the peppers and the they add extra like were you about to order the hot dog when you heard this message or no i had the hot dog in my hand okay and i didn't even eat it i go what did daddy in hospice and i just didn't eat it and then i went into yeah it was not even in panic it was more of a um yeah it was a shock numb yeah it's like when i was

molested when i was a kid by guy with down syndrome it's true story it's true story he used to give you candy yeah my point is is that it's the same feeling of just like you it's almost dreamy and otherworldly it's not good it's not a good feeling but it's like what the fuck this is like you know you you you know and so i called my brother steve my brother's freaking out and we just booked a flight and then but you know i hadn't been going to a meetings in four years at 17 years of sobriety and then next thing i know i'm at a place called um i might have i'm at a fucking weed dispensary i want to say the name right and i'm in line to get weed after 17 years of being sober i don't know how i got there bro i was going home

And I just pulled, it was called Urban Freeze, great establishment, great weed. That's where you got your weed. That's where I got it. But he hadn't smoked weed in 17 years. So I ordered, what I bought was, I bought, hey, do you have gummies? So I bought like 15 packets of gummies. And this is how alcoholic my brain is. I, and I, because I didn't want to tell my brother or my girlfriend or my mom that I relapsed.

So I went to CVS and I got melatonin, melatonin, gummy, you know, candy? No. You can get melatonin ones at the sleep session. Oh, to help you sleep that are, right, right. And they're shaped like, they're gummy bears. So you put them all in there. But I took all the, I dumped that, and I put all the weed ones in there. Sure.

And so when I was packing to go, that's what I had. And were they really like, did they, are they strong? They said they're the most strongest one that, I don't know, 10 milligrams piece. But also, after not getting high for over 17 years, you know, I took one. And I just completely got almost way too high. Were you upset with yourself? No, because I was more upset about my dad. So I was just like, and also, I had this feeling of, like, a new chapter.

Like, if you were flipping a book, that would, that day was the next chapter. And it was going to be a long, dark chapter. You didn't eat the hot dog, you took the melatonin, the, the gummies, and you're on your way to your dad's funeral. No, he's still a lot. Or he's in the hospice at this point, right. So, um, I'm completely high. we get to Arizona we get to the hospice and my dad is um

he's lucid like he you know I walked in and and and he smiled I saw you why you're smiling because you just said he smiled so it made me smile oh yeah I was in your fucking moment so he smiled okay and my brother and I looked at each other oh he's fine he's fine so then you know we're like we kiss him and he's

he can't he hasn't been able to talk very long time And even when he could talk, you couldn't understand him because of that thick accent. But he basically said, oh, I love you, that kind of thing. And actually, there was a sense of like, why the fuck did I relapse? He's not dying. What were he doing here? But then the lady came in and was telling me all the problems. And basically, she says, so from now on, he can't either drink water or eat.

We're not going to feed him. and then my brother was like freak the fuck out my brother was like wait wait wait what the fuck my brother stevie he's like of course what the fuck what the fuck you're gonna feed him like in a couple days right no from now on yeah yeah but but he did he's gonna fucking die then right and they're like yeah right because it's like if he had because he had his lungs and every the stomach had so much infection it's just what happened with my grandfather november same thing yeah right nothing so then you know now we have to sit there for seven days.

Seven days. Sometimes it takes weeks, yeah. And to see your dad. So from every day, he's now like, you know, just dwindling. And are you getting higher and higher as you go in there?

Every day. Going higher and higher. But are you taking the gummy bears every day now? You're getting used to it. You're enjoying it. Steve doesn't know about it. No, no one knows about it.

I'm enjoying it. But don't they look at you and go, are you on something? No, because you can brush it off as tears. and sadness. Tired, fatigue. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, I'm just tired and sad.

You know what I mean? Gotcha. Because your eyes are all bloodshot. You can just, you know. And then my brother would stay there at nights. My brother would stay there. Sleep with him? Yeah, and he would disturbing photos.

He would take photos like, look, what dad's doing now? And he's just like staring up at the ceiling. You know what I mean? Like, why do you want to see that? I know. Exactly. I mean, I couldn't do that. Yeah.

In fact, when I saw my grandfather last, when I saw him in the, home and I remember he was sleeping with all you know he was sitting on the couch and all these other old people around him and I walked in the and you know my grandma's like he's probably not going to remember him like fuck that he always remembers me yeah he won't but he's Alzheimer's he he go I go erf I woke up everybody in the place he his head lifts up and he goes Mikey oh it was a one in a million and it was the last time I that day was the last time I was with him or like two more days and then I left and then it all went downhill out of the blue and he went to a hospice and they were like

like, do you want to come down? I go, no. I don't want to see him like this. Why? Because I knew what was happening. And I knew that I wanted to remember him. This was for me. It didn't bother me.

He was like a father of me. I love, I love this man. And I didn't want to watch him deteriorate. That was for me, though. Everyone's different. And my uncle said, as long as you're okay with that, I go, Irv would fucking look at me and go, what are you doing? What is this?

Why are you, why are you, don't get me, go home. I know he wouldn't want me to see him like that. I just know, we had a bond. That's my opinion of what I went through, but that everything's different. So go ahead. It was, it's a chance to witness truth. Us Westerners have such a difficult time with death. You know, I mean, in Indian stuff, you know, it's like, it's the most honest, truthful thing that you can, it's a beautiful thing.

You know, and I had to witness it. I was there when my dad took his last breath. You were there at that moment? Yes. Did you say anything to him at that moment? Or was he in a coma? Well, I mean, I couldn't say anything because my mom and my brother were freaking the fuck out. They were crying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? Whoa, whoa. So when he takes his last breath, they're freaking out. Bobby on gummy bears or whatever. You're kind of not okay, but you're the mellow one? Oh, yeah. I'm completely namaste about it.

You were keeping them together? I'm the oldest, so maybe that, no, that wasn't it. In retrospect, you know, at the time, I could tell you that I was being Neo from the Matrix and being fucking cool. Zen and... Yeah, cool as a cucumber, but in retrospect, I'll tell you what later, but what it was, but when he died, I didn't feel anything. And I had sunglasses on and Gucci. And so, and my uncle came in. It's just so funny

My uncle, my dad's brother, youngest brother drove from San Diego Walked into the hospice Saw my dad's body Got back in the car And drove back eight hours How long was he there? For like one minute

What the, what did you say anything? Bye uncle What was it? Were they close? Yeah It was his best friend He just didn't want to deal with it No, it was really kind of cool

It was just like he looked at the body And he made some sort of noise He was like, oh, no, I'm going to, something like that. It was no word. Like a prayer. But it sounded Korean. So you looked down, oh, no, no, no, and just got back in the car. And we go, bye.

He just drove off. Did you hug and kiss your mom? Were you like? No, we took photos. Stop. He took photos of what? My mom wanted. He didn't take photos of your dad, dead.

Yeah. My mom goes, we had to do, like, the timer thing with my fucking phone. You had to set up a timer. reverse the image on your camera and take a picture of your mom, Steve, we got a wrong three times. We said it three times. Could you imagine some nurse just standing there

watching this? I know. But why? It seems odd to me, maybe not odd to you because I wouldn't want to, in fact, at the funeral, I don't want any pictures.

I don't want to remember this day. I don't want to remember all the sadness. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's why I have so much emotion. My mom wanted it. Were you surprised when she goes, let's get a picture? No, I was like,

that's what she wants. So I did the timer, thing and we said we did this you know what I mean and my dad was laying there but you didn't do anything funny like no no dude though with his face right I don't know I'm just yeah we didn't do like the Turtileys angels oh my god so it's a serious photo like but do you smile on the photos no it's I mean I could show it to you but it was yeah well it's so funny because I sent it to Kate and Oliver Hudson oh yeah and he goes that's fucked up don't ever do that again it was great you know Oliver

Yeah, he was shocked. Because he thought he was alive in the photo. He thought, that's cool. Is your dad sleeping? I go, no, he's dead. And he goes, you know, and I think, no, he called me. And I heard Kate laughing in the background. I love Kate, I had some big fan.

But then what happened was I got back in the town. Right. And then weird shit started happening. Like what? Well, first of all, I'm hiding it from Kalila, my girlfriend that I live with, who I do a podcast with, who is like my best friend. You're hiding what? Your emotions? My using.

And you're using. Are you using something else now? No, I'm only smoking. I'm only smoking and vaping marijuana, right? But, you know, when you're, when you've been sober for that long and she's only known me sober. And then when I'm constantly 24-7 high, it's weird. She knows. She doesn't know at the time.

She just thinks I'm having a fucking meltdown. Because imagine, like, we're in bed and like, you know, three or four days in when I get back. And she's like, asked me a question. and I'm like giggling at a fucking YouTube video. So she thinks you're having a break, yeah, like I'm a nervous breakdown. So when I came on your podcast right before you went to that wellness center, you were using.

Yeah. You're like, I'm high right now. I remember, I think you said that. Yeah, but then what happened was, not only am I high, but for some reason, I can't get any food in the food down. So every time I would eat something, I would vomit at it.

Why? Well, I didn't know why at the time, but I'll tell you why later. but and then not only that but I couldn't sleep so I would get like one hour to sleep I couldn't eat and I was just constantly high and then on top of it hiding it from everybody and then on top of it I got a job you know a network job on a game show right right so it was this game show where I had to do athletic competitions with a UFC girl right no with Rob grankowski on my team and Venus Williams and I'm doing eight one hour

strenuous, athletic. Were you high during it? Not only high, not eating or sleeping. Did you have any, like, did you ever fall down and, like, I need a doctor? My knee blew up to here, because I ripped a, my quad tendon, right? Right. I couldn't walk, sleep, eat. I was dying.

And, like, legitimately, like, I would be on set in front of, like, a live audience. And Keegan Keyes is hosting, and people would walk up to me and go, are you all right? and I'm just like you know in my head I'm like I think I'm going to kill myself That's how you fell Oh yeah yeah You were embarrassed maybe

No no I just didn't know what the fuck was going on Lost completely lost Out of control Out of control didn't know what the fuck was going on And it's so funny because this happened in September So it's not that far away And you're you're grieving at the same time

But you're not grieving too Yeah and I haven't really cried over it either Right so I'm now having suicidal thoughts and I'm losing my mind and I'm um I don't know what the fuck was going on

and then I remember going on the road I would go to Portland and I remember taking my two openers who were in AA because I had booked them before I had relapsed so I have two openers that are in Alcoholics Anonymous

that are my friends who now have to hide my drug use from them as well and then I remember taking them to a sushi restaurant after one of the shows and um

I took one bite of a yellow tail sushi and I vomited it all over my fucking shirt right in the restaurant in front of them these two fucking narcs called Kalila and just telling me all this stuff that I'm doing right to collide and that Kalila's going my girlfriend's going crazy did you fire them no when you say narcs

you fucking narcs you were angry but now you're not angry with that at the time I was somebody had to say something or you were going down a slippery slope here right and then um were you able to perform I don't even remember But you were doing your act

You knew it's so well That you were able to play it out I don't remember I don't know what that show was like I don't know what the fuck was going on Did you care? No You really didn't care I didn't care I think at one show I did like 10 minutes I was supposed to do 45 minutes

I think I did 10 minutes Did they tell you get back on stage do No I was like I don't know what's going on Were you having anxiety You can always use my dad died Right That's always a good one Yeah it's a good one

Yeah and so It's gonna work eagle face Eagle He doesn't look like an eagle Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's handsome, though. We need to just a nice buzz killing. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money, period.

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Quince.com slash inside of you. Okay, so this all comes down. Kalila knows what's going on. She doesn't know what's going on. She doesn't know what's going on. No, she doesn't know what I'm using. She just thinks that I'm having, like, that's something going on. And then what happened was, um, one day she just says, I think I'm going to leave.

I can't be in this. I don't know what's going on. What? Yeah, and I told her, I relapsed. And then it was just chaos. Did she cry or was she pissed? I was crying, pissed. It was like chaos.

What the fuck? You know what I mean? And you just had moved into your new house, right? Yeah, so I'm in this new house. It's crazy. No furniture. It was crazy. And then I go, I don't know what's going on with me, but I have to finish this game show.

Right. And I will go to some place. I don't know where I want to go. Oliver wanted me to go to the Hoffman Institute. So I was doing research on that, but I don't know. But I needed to do something because I could legitimately feel myself dying. Yeah. You know what I mean?

I do not. It was not just the physical and the mania, you know, in the manic episodes and the eating and sleeping. So, you know, imagine now a month and a half, two months in. I'm still doing this game show. She's allowing me to use. I go, I want to use every fucking day, but now I have to use regular marijuana because the gummies is too much. And if you stop now, it's like Jack Nicholson doing Coke, it will just stop his heart. Maybe, I don't know.

It would probably upset you because now you're a drug addict. Yeah, but I'm smoking now. 24 hours a day. Jesus. Like, I would do 300, 400 hits. Are you able to be, I don't know why my mind went there. Are you able to perform? Do you have sex at this during this?

Oh, no, my dick's broken. Like, you're not even thinking of sex. Oh, no, no. You're not involved in sex, right? So she stays with you. She's like, yeah, she's barely hanging on. But if you didn't tell her at that moment, be honest with her, she was gone. Yeah, but also I was more concerned.

We were more concerned about, like, me, I lost 25 pounds in a month and a half because I couldn't eat. And I couldn't barely walk because I have no energy. And so we're more concerned about, like, my livelihood and being alive. Is it the right word? Lively? I don't know. And so one day I run into a friend of ours and she's like, you look like shit.

And then she's like, and I, she's like, you got to see a therapist. You see my therapist. And I didn't know what to do. And I don't know why I said yes. Like, oh, I'll see your fucking therapist. But she was a trauma. therapist um when it was beverly and i went and saw her and the miracle happened what was that miracle so we're talking what's going on i i told her i relapsed 17 years this and

that my dad died i can't eat sleep all that stuff and then she's like then we go into like well what was like growing up and then that's when i started talking about the abuse sexual abuse no the physical abuse from your father yeah you know my dad um i just remember one time my brother and i were sleeping i was maybe six years old my brother was three and it was like three in the morning my mom runs in that into our room and i remember her turning the lights on and she opened her mouth and all her teeth were gone because he punched them out and then i remember him trying to get into the room and I remember my brother and I imagine six year or three year old my mom barricating the door you know because we know that once he gets in

the room we're all going to get hit right he would do shit like um just if you looked at him wrong he would hit you as hard as he could with a golf club on your body was he drunk when he's no you're just a rage just rage is this something that you always remember oh i always knew about But did this bring it out? Did you get this bring it out? Like all of a sudden like, whoa, this is what's how we got to start from here? What do you mean? When you're going to therapy and that stuff, is that what they're talking about, going back to the beginning?

Well, no, we were just talking about like my dad and I was saying, I'm concerned that I didn't cry. I think that's what it started. I wonder, soon that we explored that aspect of, you know, what was your relationship? I go, my relationship with him was fine for the last, since I became a successful comedian. you know that you know that's when it you know kind of but before that you know that it was just dark all right so you're saying that your relationship with your father got better when he saw you being successful so you felt like he started to love you more yeah you know what no it's tragic and i and i well whatever no no i'm just well i'm just telling you no no i i i really appreciate

I'm hearing you. And then here's another story. I remember one time I had meningitis. I was going to die. And I remember we lived in Minnesota and I remember like my dad wanted to take the stairs to take me to the hospital. But my mom took the elevator because we're like, we lived like seven floors up in this apartment building. And I remember them pulling me. And then my dad let go of me.

And then he went tap and hit my mom in the mouth. And I fell to the ground. But I visually remember. remember that shit that's why it's like Can't get that out of your fucking head? You can get it out of your head so it's like you know and that was just continuous right so you always feared your father

not just him he would beat the shit out of my cousin he was a crazy person so everybody feared this guy yeah now I guess the big disconnect for me is in a way I understand is that but you still loved him and you still wanted his approval you still wanted all these things and even

until the end it's hard to like sometimes you think I know he's your dad but sometimes you ever think like it's still wrong and I oh it's it's devastating what he did he he affected me in ways that I could explain to you later of little things that I would do in secret right to punish myself but she'll check it out but once I was in her therapy office and I told her all these things as I would remember leaving it driving by a Panda Express and I ordered three different meals there three different combinations i ate i could eat again by just getting it off your chest and then that night i slept for the first time in months have you ever tried EMDR that's what we did

that's what i did and it was and it does work dude i've never been that hysterical in my life where you keep doing the same thing on events on events yeah over stay there stay there close your eyes follow my finger follow my finger yeah buddy i did the machine i didn't think i was worthy enough i was like no, this is for PTSD. This is for like veterans, people who lose life. I didn't think my shit was, and all of a sudden she taps into something. Yeah.

And this devastation I felt as a kid comes out. And what's crazy about this is there's some science to it. But then you know that happened, but it doesn't affect you the same way. And it worked for me. It worked for you. So you were able to acknowledge that it happened. It's there. You somehow forgave him.

Well, what happened was after going, after leaving there and eating, when I was eating, I thought to myself, what? There's a connection now between my childhood and my trauma and my body, right? I could make that, you know, between the brain and your body. There's a connection between, and I thought to myself, oh, my God, I have to deal with this, right? So then that's when I went to PCS and Arizona. how long for two weeks and it was um from 7 a.m to 9 p.m. you're in you're doing EMDR you should do art therapy art therapy psychotherapy everything everything expensive yeah pretty expensive

Gucci so you did you go in there thinking were you open minder at first you were kind of like and then all of a sudden you realize wait a minute something's happening well when I walked in there the first day I remember the lady Marilyn Murphy can't come out and she's explained and I'm in a group and you're with the same group for the whole time right and you're in a group with these people that are like you know there's one orthodox Jewish guy with the little hairs and the hat passes whatever and then um you know I mean there's a house mom you know how wife yeah you mean you know there had someone staying with me and like you have to check out if you want to take a walk yeah yeah yeah so in the beginning you're like

what the fuck is exactly right but then it's so funny because when it was over, I didn't want to leave them. They were my best friends. You know, you know what it is? You feel safe. For the first time in your life, I bet you really felt safe. Yeah, and I also like working on myself.

I enjoy the process of feeling better and dealing with things, you know? So, you know, by doing that process, I remember I did an EMDR session, and what they made me do is they made me go to a mall and go to a builder bear. And I go, why do I have to go to a fucking mall? And they go, well, because we want you to make a doll that represents your original child.

The child that first comes out of the womb, you know, that needs just love, affection, attention, nurturing, all the things that a baby needs, you know. And so I remember getting the doll. And I remember when I was eating with Kalala. Because Kalala went with me to the mall. And I was holding the baby one. I was eating and she cried the way I was holding the fucking doll you're holding yourself I was holding myself yeah and you meant it you were doing the work yeah you weren't trying to be funny

you were doing no yeah and then I didn't that day later that day I did an EMDR session where um it was about one traumatic experience with my dad and then she told me to pull out my doll and then you know tell your original self right you mean the how you're going to protect him And I, I, I ended up on the fucking ground crying so hard, holding this thing. Yeah. And then, um, because I didn't grieve my dad. And then when I walked out of that session, I said one thing. I miss you, dad.

Like, bro, for two hours, I had to have people pick me up from the, fault. I was crying so hard. Just from that moment. Yeah. Like it all hit you with one word, just two words, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I grieved right then and there. And then also when I went in there, I got sober. I have 84 days now. And so, you know, so I got sober there as well. I go to a lot meetings every day. Every day. Yeah, when I was in a Hawaii, you know, when I was shooting Magnum PI, I went to meetings on my off days, which I never used to do. So I'm very diligent and, um, And I have trauma therapy every week with my counselor Beverly. What does that entail?

Like what is just a therapist? She's a trauma. I do EMDR with her. So does EMDR? So I did it only twice, two days. Yeah. And the first time it really worked and the second time I felt like it was forced. Like I'm trying to force something out of me.

And I couldn't get comfortable. And I couldn't do it. Well, that's a part of it. So you go, you know, you have to be honest with yourself. And you know, I'm a performer. So we want to like, we're performers. We want to go right. Right.

Right. So I end the whole idea of EMDR is every time it doesn't, is not, you're not going to have a breakthrough. sometimes you're going to be like I'm thinking too much it's not working in all that stuff so you know you have to do it a lot you know and I have so many you know I go to different memories and you do EMDR sometimes a bunch of sessions on one memory

but what that memory happens it just it becomes smaller and the weight isn't as heavy it's still there right yeah but um it doesn't you know trauma not only does it affect you mentally it affects you physically.

I think it causes... I have ticks and things that have caused from things in the past and I'm just like, you know, I can feel in my body that they just haven't been let out. They're just like these dark... Yeah, I feel that same way.

You're more prone to getting cancers and strokes and whatnot. Body aches. Do you feel good? Do you feel like you have... You still have a lot of work to do? Do you feel like I think I'm... Now I'm feeling the way

I should have felt a long time. go. Well, I don't do the thing. See, here's what I wanted to say to you is that you don't know is that every time I would, before this, every time I would have a bad audition, I would have to bleed. You cut yourself? No, I would take a bottle of water and I'd hit my head over the head a hundred times until blood was over my face. I did that every time. Every time you had a bad audition, or I perceived that I had a bad audition. You know, every time I make a mistake, I have to punish myself the way my dad punishes me. Oh my God.

I never knew anything like that. Yeah. So, you know, for a long time you've been doing that. Oh, for 25 years. Insidiously, the effect of my childhood has seeped into every aspect of my life. And so all those things that I used to do to punish myself, I don't do anymore, obviously. And number two, because not only am I aware of the actions of doing it, why I'm doing it, but it's also, I don't feel the need as much to do it.

I don't want to do it, you know? And I think that has a lot to do with dealing with, you know what I mean? I'm not done with a lot of it, right? But during the process of it, it's really just to help me out in my daily life in terms of like, even depression and, you know, like the things that we're saying before making a gratitude list, all, you know, doing the tools. Routines. Yeah, yeah, to do you, do you journal now? did they show you like the journal every day or yeah man i fucking journal i do too i never done it god man fuck dude by the way i'm blown away by your vulnerability i can't i just can't believe like

i didn't know i wanted it's not what i wanted i wanted you to get your sack and i wanted you to feel comfortable like just you know to me like i went through this and you know i'm not comparing but it's like wow just when i was like oh my shit was tough i'm like bobby went through do you feel like now you're what now that I want no I just feel like I you know when you're young I just felt like no one was ever sort of taking care of me saying I'm proud of you you're good enough all these things that you never got you are like sort of getting through other things attention funny this we're doing all. this blah blah until one day you either decide to find out what the fuck this is all about and then you dig deep and then you go am i worthy i am worthy and i got to find out why i'm worthy and how i'm not stupid i found it a lot i always thought you're incredibly stupid your uh your there's just all these things i you know it just was so overwhelming and i didn't really know where it stemmed from

and when that comes out and it still happens sometimes i get nervous because i'm like oh my god i'm not going to, I'm not going to, I hope that I was at the magic castle and the magician's like looking around, oh, who's going to be my helper? I'm like, not me. I'm stupid. I'm going to fuck your trick up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't fucking pick me. Right, right. And it all stems from being that, like, that kid who wasn't like, you know, good enough. Dude, I fucking can't believe you went through that. And what's amazing is that's sort of what happened to me is I kind of forgave at the end. Yeah. I didn't think I would. It came out of nowhere. Yeah. I was like, why am I, what? But you do. Somehow, that's the only way, isn't it? It's a miracle, though, too, that like, you know,

people with our backgrounds, you know, sometimes, you know, even the counselor said, and I don't even understand it really, but they're like, it's a miracle that you even was able to carve out any sort of resemblance of a life, right? And I'm like, and then they go, that's, you know, it has something to do with your resilience and survival techniques. I always had humor as a defense mechanism, and I had no skill sets except to be funny. And, but I used. use that one skill set to create a career, right? So, you know, in many ways, I could have become a serial killer or a guy that caused other people trauma.

You think you could have done that? No, but I'm just saying that a lot of people with my background have crazy, the trajectory of their lives go a different direction, you know? But for me, I don't know what it is, but I was always like, even when I was 23, I remember being at a comedy club and open mic, and I remember just going... you have this is it that's why all these

people from San Diego hated me back then as an amateur because I would just so like fucking you know I have to do this is I have to be great not just great this is it I have no other fallback position I have no

college degree I have no other dreams this is your purpose or this or nothing so when you're when you have a kid like that you know I climb pretty fast you know i mean i started at 23 by the time i was 30 i did the tonight show which is a big thing for a kid from san diego with my kind of background you know and i just crawled my way up to that thing you know so but um but now my life isn't about that my life is a you know

you know you say in the beginning of the podcast you're doing great this and that but i'm doing great in terms of my mental health i think and that's all i really right now care about all this other stuff is fine and great and you know I'm blessed and happy and grateful I get depressed they just want to be healthy

I just don't want to fucking kill myself bro do you still feel like that do you still that's why right because you're doing all the work yeah and you feel like you're worthy yeah like when I'm in you know when I was in Hawaii last week and I was like I'll put it by the way I have to talk to you about

so I go to magna so I'm shooting this show Magnum PI and this was the first test of my, you know, my mental health, I show up and the director was a guy named Peter Weller. I remember Peter Weller. He was a tough guy. He was a robocop? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, you know what he said to me at the first day at work? He was directing the show. His opening line to me was this. Don't fuck this up. Was it kidding around? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's probably kidding around. Didn't sound like to me. Right. I didn't laugh. No. And he walked away. And then

after the first take of the first day he goes energy energy like that what are you doing you didn't like this no I don't like it because it reminds me of my dad and when I'm in when I'm around the presence

and I told that to Jay Hernandez and Perdita Weeks who are the stars of the show I go that's my dad because they did my podcast that's Saturday and they also I'm friends with them so they know my past as well And so, um, the whole time, that whole week shooting with this guy was like,

fire or flight for me, man. Jesus. Yeah, it was. Did you ever know that? Did you ever tell him? Yeah. But you know me, yeah, for me, what I did was I would just start saying shit back. You're my dad, dude.

You know, yeah, I don't respond to stuff like that, that energy. You know what I mean? And then like, um, but I remember the first, last day of shoot, I was like, I had this one complicated line. I hated it. I didn't understand the line. You probably still remember it. I don't even remember.

I can't even say it because I don't even know how that's how difficult the line was. Are you embarrassed? I don't care at this point. That's good. I wish I didn't care. I just want to get the fuck out of there.

It's embarrassing, yeah. It really is. I get embarrassed. But what's worse was him shame me afterwards. This guy can't even out loud. This guy can't even do one line in front of the whole crew. And they're all kind of like,

Ha, ha, people are kind of uncomfortably laughing. And I'm sitting in there, just staring at the table, just going. it has nothing to do with you. This is just him. It's not personal. This is just his issues.

And also, because I can't do this one line, eventually I think they got it, I don't even remember. But also, normally what I would have done a year ago is go to my hotel room and cut myself with razor blades because I couldn't do that one line. You didn't do that?

No, I just sat there and went. I was so happy. I almost felt like crying. I was sitting there going, oh shit I'm embarrassed I feel like you know he's shaming me you know

but I could separate the fact that you know I mean I'm a human being you know I mean under this under this circumstance I don't really perform great you know when I'm under this kind of pressure and I know that about myself right so you know I was able to put all into into context and a certain certain perspective and go

it is what it is what it is it's a bad day is a bad week I may never do the show again you know and it's okay you know Ryan all I can think about is you're going to have to take the sound out of me biting my nails I've never done this

you have caused me to bite my fucking nails because I'm on edge with your story like I've never been like this with anyone's story like this is for me the most raw honest thing and I know I you're my boy and I appreciate you do you're my boy you're my boy you're my boy

But by the way, you know how he just wrote males, got a fucking, do you know what? I do the opposite thing. And I'm, and I'm, I've got to, you're more mature right now doing what you do because when there's a, um, somebody on set or somebody that's kind of being the, the guy, like, no, no, this is going to, I always got it. My thing is like, I'm not going to fucking let that guy do that. And it's like, it's like, I don't like authority. I don't like when people, I can feel myself getting worked up right now.

I remember there's this guy, Michael Ironside. He was a scanner. Remember his head, blah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what the fuck was going on, but I was on the smallville set. And, you know, I've been on the set for years. And I'm, like, laughing and talking everybody. And I'm like, blah, blah, blah. And this guy goes out to me goes, this guy, huh?

He's directing? No, he's looking at him. He's just an actor on the show, a guest star. Oh. This guy. Yeah, what's going on, man? What's going on with you, huh? And I go, what is he?

Are you serious right now? Yeah, yeah, you're that guy, right? Yeah, he's got to be the funny guy. got to be this he's just like calling me out yeah and i feel it i feel like i feel like i'm being ashamed i feel like that father figure i feel like i'm being a kid again being reprimanded and it's gets it's brewing and i'm like oh my god i was in such a good mood and now i'm just like i don't know what's going on but i'm really uncomfortable right now yeah and i go yeah hey man you can be this guy when it's you know when you're one of the leads on the show not when you're a

fucking guest star i just looked at him right in the fucking eyes oh whoa whoa yeah i was I was dude. That's fucking heavy, bro. I got there. I felt you doing it. I just was like, you're not going to fucking come in here and like make me feel like this shit and belittle me in front of people. So I don't like how sometimes when people, when people push my buttons, I don't do it often. But when someone gets under my skin and really comes after me.

Yeah. Or just, and I give them a chance like, okay, aha, okay. And then when I hit that point, it's like, fuck you, man. Now we're on. And it was just one of those moments. like dude i don't fucking care i remember there's been moments my life like what am i do i remember i mean i'm not gonna give me another story give me another story i love story like my buddy in vancouver once we're just going across here with my other friends tom the knee and you know i was doing a show up

there and he was doing something else and i was bald and i remember him kind of smacking me on the bald head it was cold it was the winter yeah i go dude cut it out man yeah like pop and i go dude that hurts man stop that stop doing that yeah he did it again and again and finally i go hey stop doing that man and then a few minutes later pop and i turned to him much bigger brawler could kick my ass in a heartbeat and i go buddy if you fucking hit me one more time i'm going to punch you in your fucking face i don't care if you beat me up i will get one fucking punch and i will fucking bust your face up do it one more fucking time and i remember he just goes dude calm down and he didn't fucking hit me because he knew that i was going to

fucking do something. Yeah. At least I'm not the guy where you say one thing. I'm like, Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to push my button.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember one director once. There's another one on Smallville. He's like, I was like, hey, you know, I got to get the flight out because I got to get home to whatever. I have a family thing. He goes, yeah, yeah, I know. He's being cocky about it. And then I remember he goes, and well, he knows the story.

He was Clark Ken on Smallville. And he goes, finally I go, dude, we got to get to this scene. He goes, you know what? We're not going to do. that scene today you're not going to make your flight we're going to shoot it tomorrow morning you know why because i'm the director and i remember looking at him and going guys to the crew i go you know i'm a humble person i would never do this or say something like this unless i was provoked by a fat-ass director i go i'm one of the leads on the show

do you know who's getting fired first you fuck and then the AD comes up to me the AD comes up to me oh guys can we talk about this offset and I go we certainly can and this is a big dude I know again I get my ass kick but he's like fucking with me why are you being a dick I'm not being a dick yeah and then he goes and all I did was this I'll never forget I go look man like that he goes like he thought I was going to hit him I go I go what do you want to fucking me you want to fight me now it was so uncomfortable i love it was so but it's just like you know i guess it's like people push your buttons man i lost my shit are you thinking of cutting that no you can't cut that car well he was looking at me like jesus no you that's the good shit

you can't cut that so look i feel like you and i feel like this insecure kid and then something comes out of me like i can't i can't i can't be i'm gonna shut down i'm gonna fight i'm gonna fight i'm I'm going to cry. You fight. You fight. I fly. You know what I mean? I'm the flight or a freeze.

I either freeze or a flight. You're a fighter. But it's the same. I don't know if I'm always a fighter. I think I freeze too. No, I've never fought back. But you know what? I want to fight.

I think you would. I'd rather fight. I think if somebody treated you like that on set now with your improvement and all the shit you're working on, you're like, you know what, buddy? Don't talk to me like that. Just don't talk to me like that. Mind your own business. Yeah.

And that will make you feel good because you never remember. I had a director who. call me a racial slur. What do you say? Sometimes they're like, hey, ching chong, you know what? Can't you see through those Ching chong eyes or something like that?

Yeah, and I remember going like this, I'm sorry. Like, I coward. And it's one of those things where in my mind, I'm like, I wish, because I was a young guy, it was in like in the 90s. You wish you had power or something now?

Yeah, if he, now? Oh, he would never work again. No. I would call everybody. It would be a disaster for him. Yeah. I would imagine all those tiger belly people. It would be,

it would be disaster for him. Yeah, but I love shit like that. Hey, listen, this is, I have a Patreon account, and these are people who subscribe to my Patreon. Beautiful, beautiful.

And I know you have one, but they really help support the show. They do because I need them. I'm not like, you know, okay, this is called shit talking questions. These are from patrons. There's some good questions here. Quickly answer them.

You don't have to take a long time. I want to. Raj. Raj. What's your go-to karaoke? Um, tequila. Tequila. Yeah, yeah.

Because you don't sing much, right? Is there much, many words? It's one word. That's it. Yeah. Did you just come up with that? No. You really sing that.

Yeah. Tequila. If they ask, because I don't like doing karaoke, I'll go, I'll do tequila. Angie, what would you say is the most unhelpful advice you've given on your podcast to date? That when you said something, you went back and go, what the fuck was I giving that advice for? Yeah, usually, usually, um, if somebody doesn't want to have sex with somebody because it's, and I just, I say, leave them. What? Well, I remember somebody saying, like, you know, I'm dating this girl.

It's three months in. She won't have sex with them. And I go, just leave the bitch. You know what I mean? Kind of thing. Wendy could have been 17. And who knows the scenario? Yeah, well, you didn't know.

It was just what I said. Sophie M. Any funny stories from the kicking it old school movie? That's what we did. I remember you and I were naked a lot. Well, you show me your penis first. You show me yours. First, you did.

I don't know if that was true. 100% because I remember the day. Was that when we bonded? No, I walked into my own trailer. and I turned around and you were leaning against a wall in my own trailer with your penis out. Would that be considered harassment today? Not to me.

That's a Korean hello. Tom, funniest story while filming Mad TV. Oh my God, I have so many. What's the one that just fucking comes to light? Well, there's one that I haven't really told much, which is just one day that a Jordan Peel, Jordan Peel was like, one day he only had like one scene

where he had to carry in a glass of water. He was a waiter. Right? So he had just, right? but then he got really high because he's you know he had no line right but we knew that he wasn't going to be able to do it because he was so high because he had to balance his glass it had he just had to put the fucking glass on the table right i remember we're all sitting behind the monitor watching jordan come out and just seeing the fucking water you know it's

spilling shattering on the garage he didn't know you were fucking with him no no it was so fun but that was the way i memory and you see what's the worst celebrity interaction you've experienced Peter Weller No, yeah But I have another one that was Tom Selleck No, last summer And I didn't even fucking know the guy

And he kind of yelled at me For no reason It was like I was doing Pauly Shores movie Which is I don't know what it's called It was funny The documentary thing

No, it was a real movie A scripted movie Right And Billy Zane was on it And I had just got on the set And somebody was like Hey look at the set I walked in

I was just talking And the Billy Zoh Hey, shut up To me Right And I just got I don't know what the fuck is going. No one told me that they're shooting anything.

And I remember looking at Billy Zane going, oh, you want to go there. I'm small. You're a handsome guy. You're a Titanic. I got nothing. We'll see what goes on now. You want to have a war with me because you don't even know what I have. I have an army.

Billy. Are you friends now? No. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Mary B. Good question. Would you, could you play a serious role in a non-comedy series?

Yeah, I would love to. I know you can. I would. I've done it. Lisa. Any upcoming acting gigs Thought you were great And splitting up together

In Love And Love Both were brilliant A show as it ended too soon I saw you on the... Yes I wrote a show with my friend And it's about a Korean spa

In Korea Town And it's a three camera sitcom About a Korean family That runs this really bad Korean spa And CBS Studios bought it Are you serious? Yeah But we have to ride it

And do the pilot And so that's it's gonna work You're gonna get good riders Don't deflect with a tongue slap Nico P. Nico. How do you know when you're in the zone when you're on stage during a set?

How do you know when I fucking got him? Here's the thing. There's two things that you have to remember. When you're about to perform, there's two feelings that you have. Number one, sometimes you have to push your way up on stage, but then sometimes you get pulled. Do you see, you know the difference?

Pushing is like, get the fuck on because you don't feel like you don't feel like you're funny. Pulling is like something's pulling you. I can't wait to get up there. How often do you get pulled? Pulled, rarely. But when I get pulled, it's always great. Electric.

Yeah. I have to take a shit in your bathroom. Can I? I think that's a perfect way to end this podcast. Buddy, this has been amazing. You got Tiger Belly and the other show is... Bad friends. Bad friends with Andrew Santino.

Andrew said he's going to come on the podcast. She'll get him on here, right? What I said he hasn't done it yet? No. He said he was going to do it. I really have to take a shit, though. Listen, thank you. I know, and I know you'll do it here.

Listen, thank you for allowing me to be inside of you. I love you. This was joyous. I want to come back on Tiger Belly, as you know. When you need a guest, last minute, you know, to call me, right? Yeah. Bobby Lee, thank you. Thank you, guys.

Oh, yeah. Dude, I love that guy. Bobby Lees, he's, you know, just a beautiful mess. Yeah, that's the best way to put it. Yeah, he's got a big heart. I know his story. I've known him forever, and it's just lovely to, he's just always so, he's a good friend. You know, I've talked about this before, I think, but, you know, the people come back in the podcast.

It's really just Everyone's busy Who wants to go Someone's podcast By the way Who wants to go again Stephen Amel did Bobby Lee

Tom Welling Jamie Lynn Sigler Jennifer Love Hewitt's coming back This is This is nice It's nice when you have friends That will come over And

Because they know I love this They know I'm doing something good They know that it's I'm passionate about it And I think they That is nice Yeah I want to give a big shout

Baga baga bagu Big shout out to all the patrons The top tier patrons Without you guys I don't know if we'd be able to run the show And that's Allison L. Andrew C. Angelina G. Lee. Barry.

I. Bobby Bortex. We got Brian H. What if I just started making up words? Well, like Brian H. Brian hot as hell. Chris. He doesn't have a last name on here.

Dion K. That doesn't work. Emily. Emily S. Hamza B. Hamza sounds like a new name. Hamza. Jason D. W.

Jennifer S, we met on Facebook, and you're just so sweet. You're a new top tier. I love you. Jerry W. You're new. I love you, Jerry W. Jill E. Joshua, D. Kevin R. Lauren G.

Leah S. You know, I love you, stubby. Mark A. Michael S. Nancy D. My love. Nica. My love. Raj. Robert B. Rock's Raccoon is in the hizzle. Samantha M.

Sarah V. Sean W. Stacey L. T.L. Trisha Vanessa in the sky and you Kiko

yeah a lot of new patrons and what a treat man I don't know what I do with that you guys thank you all the new top tier patrons thanks to all my patrons like I said whether it's a buck or nothing or whether you just listen for free

or 25 bucks whatever they do it's just amazing it's just uh okay thanks man thanks for everything thanks guys guys guys also please uh follow us inside of you on facebook instagram twitter youtube really helps get those numbers up sponsors look at that shit they're like oh he's got this many subscriptions or this it helps so it might mean nothing to you and you listen to it and i love that it's free for you but for us it helps us out so make sure you follow on facebook instagram twitter it's either at inside of you

pod or at inside of you podcast and um again subscribe to the youtube channel go start watching that Get those numbers up. Ryan, man. Be safe, be healthy. You know, here's that theme music. I love the theme music that we did. It was so good, right? Oh, it was just, we winged it.

It was one take. Whatever it is, it is. But maybe we could write something together. That could be our outro. We can write something more with words. So thank you guys for listening to Bobby Lee. And, yeah, the merch stores inside of you online, inside of you online store whatever they have tons of hats and shirts and all that stuff

and anyway thank you so much for listening we'll uh we'll see you next week and uh thanks for long to be inside of all of you football season is here oh man believe has the podcast to enhance your football experience from the pros one of the most interesting quarterback rooms to college michigan is set at eight and a half wins to fantasy If you feel that way, why didn't you trade them? Become a better fan and listen to the football podcasts from Believe. Just search Believe.

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