Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Buffy’s Charisma Carpenter: Bravery & Survival

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Charisma Carpenter (Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer) joins us this week and shares a jaw dropping story of bravery and survival in an unthinkable situation. She later opens up on her journey throughout her career, how acting wasn’t always her first choice, but how falling into it changed her life forever. Charisma discusses her anxiety surrounding auditioning for roles, her first time she was truly starstruck, and what it’s been like confronting past traumas during her time on set. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You're Rosenbaum. Oh, man. You're vaxed, dude. Vaxed. Ryan's vaxed, which means we could be in here safely. And, you know, after this, uh, maybe we'll end this whole thing, this episode on the outro with a hug. Yeah, I mean, we got to wait. I'm still in my two week.

you're not two weeks yet no so I can't hug you after the 20th all right so stay tuned because on the 20th he's gonna get hugged uh-huh hard yeah have you had a good week good weekend yeah I mean fine so far stressed are you I mean always but you know it's nice to be double-vaxed and uh the stressful part is figuring out how to re-enter the world and now that things are going to happen again yeah how do you slowly get back into it how do you Do it. You know, can you give a, you know, an elbow bump, you know, can you do a fist bump? Yeah.

Can we do it? Oh, it's a Laker game and you have to wear a mask. They don't let food or drink at your seat. So you had to have a drink before you walk to your seats. It was odd, but nonetheless, it was fun. It was nice to be at a basketball game. Thank you, Jeannie Bus for the tickets. And it was fun.

Name drop. A serious name drop. Well, I have to because we're friends, actually. I'm friends with her. So it's like, you know, you call it a name. drop if you want if my best friend with Sylvester Stallone I'd say hey I'll shout out to my boy Sylvester it's only the owner of the entire damn team she you wouldn't know it she's so damn laid back and cool and you know why we became friends because many moons ago

I was at a party a Lakers party that I was invited to for the WB or something and um this woman came up to me with her friend and she was really nervous and uh she was like hey uh you know I'm I'd really like the show and I'm like oh my god thank you and I was just like a dude I was a regular guy and she was just a girl and there was just two people talking I had no clue to who she is on my mother's life I swear to you I had no idea because I'd never been to a basketball game I didn't know any about the Lakers really and she goes here here's my card if you ever want to come to the Lakers game and she walked away and I go it's a genie bus vice president at the time she was vice president now she's the president. And I go, holy shit. My friend Roger's like, you should probably

call her, man. He talks like that. He's like, hey, man, you should probably call her. So I emailed her and I said, hey, you gave me your card. I don't know. She goes, how many tickets do you need? I have four friends, valet, treated me like a damn king got there, sat behind them, actually. And we had so much fun and she just was like you're just so cool and such a regular guy and uh you know you didn't know who i was and i really liked that you were just so nice anyway and you're invited to whenever you want to come to a game you're invited and so now it's been 15 20 year whatever it is i go to any game i want now it's it's a luxury it's an amazing it's one of those things it's just a lucky thing that happened in my life very grateful but i remember it was game seven

And I go, I'm in town. Good luck tomorrow night. She goes, you're coming, right? And I go to game seven of the NBA finals against the Celtics. She goes, yeah, I got you. You have four tickets, whatever you want. She's amazing. She's just an amazing human being.

And she's always been so nice to my friends. And so thank you. So name drop the D drop, drop, drop drop, drop, drop. Thank you for listening to the podcast, everybody. If you want to subscribe, just go to YouTube and type in inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum and then subscribe. We also have great clips. If you want to write clips from other episodes or full episodes, I prefer you watch the whole episode.

And subscribe. Please do. And you could also subscribe on Spotify, Stitcher, Apple. And please write a review. Please subscribe. If you're here for the lovely charisma carpenter and you dig the podcast, it means a huge amount. I've been doing this podcast for a while. I'm not one of these people who just jumped in the bandwagon and during the pandemic.

And God bless him. But I'd really appreciate the subscription. You know what I mean? Also the socials, Ryan, giving the social media handles. Yeah, at Inside of You pod on Twitter, at Inside of You podcast on Instagram and Facebook. There you go. And the band, Sunspin, my band, Sunspin, just go to Sunspin.com, and we're playing May 29th, Saturday, May 29th, two shows. You can get tickets.

Go to Sunspin.com. You can also book us for Zooms and book the band. There's tons of merch. If you want any inside of you, um, swag. swag go to the online inside of you online store you can get even smallville lunchbox or some lex luther autographs inside of you hats shirts uh all that stuff's there also you can join the lovely patron i don't know what i would do without my patrons and uh if you don't know what patron is it's pretty amazing ask anybody if you want to subscribe and do a little bit extra

for the podcast um you can join there's different tiers you get merch for me you get to ask guest questions there's bonus episodes Brian and I are going to do a bonus episode today oh yay so just go to patreon.com slash inside of you and join and I will write you a message as soon as I see that you're there I'll see your message I'll see that you became a patron and I will message you back um today's episode is is a is a good one um charisma carpenter she uh she's lovely she opens up she had some thoughts about me before she got to know me and uh you know Well, we talked about that. We talked about her divorce.

She was very open. And a little bit about Jowse Whedon. Her 13-year-old son, who she loves dearly, but I guess could be a dick. What are you doing, Mom? And I'm like, why don't you look at him and say, what are you doing? 13-year-olds are. 13-year-olds can go at you. They can.

They're fearless. What do you do, man? I can't imagine with a 13-year-old. I go, hey, you better not. What did you? What? I don't know, man. That's one age I think about a lot that I do not miss.

I do not miss being 13. Yeah, I don't remember what it was like to be 13. I'm sure I was a little dick. My parents were dicks, too. It's not a good mix. Me being a dick and their dicks as well. It's a lot of dicks flapping around. A lot of big dicks.

I love you guys. I love you listening to the podcast and staying with us and sticking with us and all that jazz. A lot of great stuff coming up. A lot of great guests coming up. Big shout out to Ryan and Bryce. And it's not Westwood one anymore. It's cumulus. It's cumulus now.

All right. And they're running the show. They're helping us out and giving us a lot of love. So anyway, thanks. Why don't we just jump into it? Let's get inside of charisma carpenter. It's my point of you. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum.

Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. You know, what's amazing is, you know, I've known you. I mean, when I say no, I mean, it's not like we've been close friends for a long time, but we know of each other for many, many years. And we've always been very like, hey, and we see each other at conventions and it's fun. But like, when you start to look someone up and all their stuff and you realize, I don't know this person at all. That's what I felt when we did my con together.

I was like, you were telling all these amazing stories. and I just feel like I've been missing out all this time by not digging deeper and to who you are and getting to know you more and making a bigger effort. I know. But what's amazing is, is like you've had such a great and cool career and cool, like cool shows, like Veronica Mars and Charmed and Buffy and Angel and like you've done movies with Stallone and you've done like so much stuff. And then I look and I'm like, holy shit, she's faced a lot of adversity too. I mean, she's like, went through a divorce, you know, the whole toxic work environment thing you've been through.

And I read about the thing that's been public knowledge that you've probably talked about at ad nauseum, but the whole former police officer who attacked you and your friends on a beach who was a serial raper who like got sentenced to 50 something years in prison and you kind of closed the case with us. It just, I mean, it's, I didn't know any of this shit. It's a long of it. I know. I packed a lot of life in my 50 years.

Yeah. Do you feel like now that you've faced all these things, do you feel sort of, uh, I don't know empowered in a way like you've look like I've been through it I know how to deal with this I've been through the darkest of times I can get out of any other dark times you got do you feel that way or do you still get sort of are you still sensitive at all that's a great question I'm not sure that it's like you know it's funny about that because I have a friend named Brett who survived cancer and once he survived cancer he's just like I don't sweat the small stuff anymore like nothing matters it is not a big deal

You know, like there are just no big deals. And for me, I think it's the opposite. I feel like everything's a big deal. I feel like everything is important. I feel people who deserve, you know, justice is important. I'm very big on justice. And doing the right thing and making the world a little bit of a better place. So I feel it heightened my sense of responsibility to my fellows.

and to be a good citizen and to do the right thing and to use my platforms in those ways. And to call out bullshit and a call out, you know, it's very difficult. It's got to be hard to be on the internet. And, you know, even like we always, which, oh, should I not say this? Everybody's sensitive. Should I say this? Is this going to hurt somebody's feelings or, you know, and to be brave enough to, you know, do what you did recently, which we could talk about later if you want.

But it's just like to use it as a platform to express yourself and help people. is a much cooler thing than to just throw out stuff out there and go oh look laugh at me like me love me it's a very delicate situation I put that in there too

well you do do that you have a lot of funny stuff like I just read one of your tweets about Jeff Goldblum another cool story how he called you up for what was it for Hideaway

for Hideaway yeah it was a movie way back when right and he called you up because he wanted you to audition so Jeff Goldblum calls you up Did you know he was going to call you? Did someone say Jeff? I did.

So I used to belong to Playhouse West on Lancasham. It's where Robert Carnegie was the acting teacher. That's where that was my formal sort of theater dalliance or where I learned to act, I guess. And he taught Sanford Meisner technique. So I guess Jeff Goldblum was on the board of that theater. And I guess Robert. had told Jeff to come in audit or they had had some sort of conversation that they were Jeff is going to do a movie and maybe he'd mentioned that he wanted to book somebody.

And so I think maybe Robert had given him word to come and see me. So he came and audited a class that I was in and then after class pulled me aside and said, you know, I'm going to be this movie and I'm looking for somebody to be my daughter. And I would really love to bring you into audition. I can send you the script if you're interested, if you feel like you're ready for that or whatever and I said, I am. And so he said, great. And so he sent me the script and then later called, had his office, you know, had his office send it. And then later called to say, hey, are you ready? Is there, do you have any questions? Do you, you know, because I had never been in an audition

before. Like that was literally, Michael, that was like, that was the, the audition that changed my life because I had been in acting class. I had done the Sanford-Misner technique. I learned about like listening and how important it is and being in the moment and like all of these things, right? So you're in acting class and you're working on it and you know, like you know when you're in a scene with somebody when you're just on fire, right? When it's just so smooth and you don't feel like you're acting. You're actually being in the scene. So I go into this audition and I'm reading the scene with Jeff Goldblum and it's my first audition ever in my life and he's playing my dad and then at one point he just stood up and stood over me because I'm like this rebellious teen

and he stood over me like a dad would do and he's also a very large tall man yeah and he's so in the moment and when he stood up it was like nobody else was in the room it was him and I having a full on full on argument about what I will and will not do and I'm not having it and I just I just was so in the moment living moment to moment listening hearing playing off of him and we were done and the scene was over I left that building it was over on Warner Brothers it was actually on the lot at Warner Brothers and I'm walking between warehouses and I say to myself this is what I'm meant to do I don't care if I get this part That was the most amazing experience

I was doing exactly what I've been training to do I can do this this is my destiny What if it was a shitty audition Would you have felt the same way? I don't care I don't know Because that's not what happened That's not what I see that's how my mind works I always think okay you were great last night

But you're going to suck tomorrow That's unfortunately how my mind works Like you're never going to It's never enough It's never freaking enough But in that moment you're young You're ambitious. You have this wonderful encounter with Goldblum, this great audition.

And you felt like this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. 100%. And, you know, I think where you're, what you're talking about is, is true. I think two things. I'm sorry that that's how, where your brain goes to and I really hope that changes soon. I'm working on it. Because you do deserve that. And then second of all, I think what is interesting about that is there is a difference between the way, the way I was back in the

day when you're really young and your whole life is in front of you and you just feel like the stakes don't matter you don't have a mortgage you don't have a house you don't have a kid you don't have college around the corner like nothing is it's like on to the next I feel like to Hollywood like you have more auditions like I would audition 900 times a week so it's like who cares if I didn't get that part I'll get the next one you know it just but now when you get older the auditions come fewer and far between and the stakes are higher and you know the the actual the actual projects are better quality. So you're

meeting with higher end people and prestigious projects and these people that you really want to impress, right? So I'm glad to. You know, I totally have those moments. You just don't want to shit the bed. You can avoid shitting the bed. I have shit the bed before.

I have really painfully. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And just been like, oh my God. I mean, do you get, do you, do you have it now or did you have any sort of anxiety before auditions then or were you, it sounds like you were a free spirit, you were sort of just going forward every week, all these auditions, but now do you think things have changed where you're like, oh my gosh, everything's on this, I got to be great, I'm getting anxiety.

Yeah, the anxiety came later. It always does, doesn't it? Why? After you've had some success, you think, okay, well, why is my anxiety still here? It should be gone because I've dealt with all this stuff. I'm used to it, but you never get used to it. No, I think that's a great question to ask my therapist, but I have an. inkling of an idea. And I think it stakes. It's also if you feel safe on a set or in a scene

with somebody, like if they're not a safe person, it's very hard for you. If you don't have chemistry or a genuine need to, my dog wants to be on the lap with us. That's perfectly fine. This is Cristiano Ronaldo. Oh my gosh. Cristiana. Hi. Hi. Hi. Very cute. So I think there's how safe you feel. And then I also think um i don't know i just think it's a myriad of different possibilities yeah i think you know definitely when you especially on set when you feel safe and you see feel like everybody's got your back when you feel like the other actor's listening and he's there for you and he wants you to be your best there's something really nice about that and uh it's a deal but we also have to

be able to push through when say like i remember reading a long time ago and this has always stayed with me. Anne Hage was in some like, you know, apocalyptic type movie where like a volcano is going off and like it's a very integral scene and they have to get it in one shot and you're in a scene with Harrison Ford. You know, it was like some like massive special six days, seven nights, six days, seven nights or something. Maybe it was. And you know, like the pressure is on to get it in one take. Yeah. You have to also be reliable, you know,

and professional enough to overcome your anxiety and you know i'm just basically trying to avoid those situations at every course yeah you know what's crazy is like you were we always have odd jobs like i could tell you i worked at a grocery store for years i could tell you that i worked at a petland discounts uh cleaning chinchilla shit at 6 a m i could tell you that i worked at a go-car track as a mechanic and a roller rinked DJ and all these things but like you know you you've done some odd jobs I mean, no, you waited tables, but you worked, I guess, in real estate, right? I was a leasing agent at a place, but that was my least interesting job. I think my best job was I was an aerobics instructor, and I worked at a video store, and then I think.

Do they still have aerobics instructors? Can you call them that? Do you ever hear, oh, you guys want to take aerobics next Tuesday? Oh, I don't think they have that position anymore. It was at a family fitness, back in the 90s. or late 80s, it would have been. And then what was, oh, I actually, I know I am a waitress, but what makes it interesting about when I was a waitress

was that it was at my parents' restaurant and my dad fired me. Like, you know you're bad when your dad fired you. Why did he fire you? Because he, I, what doesn't trustworthy enough to work the dinner? So I worked the lunch shift and I had a table of eight people and a big-ass train. with all the food that my dad was in the kitchen at that for the lunch hour. I guess the chef had called in or whatever. And so he was doing it.

He loaded up the tray. I picked up the tray and they went through the kitchen door, which, you know, swings. And just as I was walking out, the swinging door tipped the back of my tray because it was that big. And it was just enough for me to just lose my positioning of the tray. And everything went on the floor crash. And my dad looked up and he goes, you're fired. he said you're fired on the spot now did he ever apologize this because my father may have said a lot of things and he may have made me feel like crap and dumb and all these things but did he ever say

i'm sorry for firing it was it was it was it wasn't a it wasn't a it's not as harsh as it sounded it was he was frustrated but it was it was needed to be done how does it i mean there are three ways i can think of as an actor that i would say fired and you're saying it was pleasant And so he didn't obviously go, you're fired. He said, now, let's see if I could make, if I could sell it, sweetheart. No, there was no sweetheart. Okay, forget the sweetheart. It was sort of like a, okay, go ahead.

Let me see if this works. Okay. You're fired. It's a really good reading. Thank you. It was somewhere between that and like, you know, he looked down. He looked at me. He looked down.

And then it was just like the inevitable, you know? And he didn't say. Give me that reason. That's the inevitable. He didn't say charisma, we're going to let you go. He said, you're fired. Just. Duh, like, the inevitable, this was bound to happen.

And of course, this is what happens. We're done here. You know, like that. Did you cry? No. I laugh. You're like, it was right. He was right.

I was relieved. To be honest with you, I was relieved. Oh, my God. I can't. possibly imagine being you know i remember my dad trying to teach me to drive a stick shift and he's like no i told you to put your foot i go that's it get the fuck out of the car get out of the car he is giving me an anxiety attack full on he raises his voice at everything everything in the world get your books off the counter why are they there i'm like oh my god chris farley take

it easy just like everything kitchen's closed the kitchen was always closed after dinner who does that to a child oh my god i just said that to donovan either day. My son came home at like midnight and he wanted me to like make reheat him some food. He's like, well, you make it very good. No, the kitchen's closed. If you want a dinner, you should have been here for dinner time. It's like midnight. No, the kitchen's closed. Oh, my God. Well, there you have it.

Hey, still making them the freaking food. Was your childhood, did you have a happy childhood? Were your parents pretty cool, easy going besides firing you on the spot? It doesn't. It wasn't that hurt. I know. Um, I think it was like a mixed experience, my childhood. It was a lot of, you know, it was, you know, fun, a lot of surrounded by a lot of family, which is, you know, in some, some instances, a good thing.

And in other instances, like, less so. Um, but I do have happy memories for sure. Do they support your acting? You're acting. You're acting. They did. Yeah. They were excited to see their daughter as an actress.

Yeah. So they, would they take you to auditions at a young age or were you old enough at that? No, no, no, no, no, I was grown. So I grew up, as a performer, I grew up in Vegas, and I always, a dancing was my, like, first love. Yeah, you were part of a dance troupe. I was a part of a dance troupe called the Young Entertainers. I was a Tarkhanian cheerleader for UNLV basketball team for their, you know, Jerry Tarkanian.

Yep. He's a famous basketball coach in Vegas. So I cheered for their basketball team. so I was a Tark, you know, Tark Sharks, I think I was a Tricanian dancer. I was in pageants, every pageant you could possibly imagine. And I was in all the talent shows and I was at San Genoa Feast. I would perform as an individual and then I would also perform with my talent troupe. So performing and acting and all of that was just like a second nature for me.

So it just kind of makes sense that acting and performing would continue. So my parents were like, yeah, of course you're going to do that. So you were obviously popular in high school and elsewhere, right? I know it's hard to say like, yes, because a lot of people that are going, I don't want to sound like a, but I mean, you were a cheerleader. You're a pretty girl. You're, you know, you were talented. You were doing all these things.

But all that stuff I did, I did it outside of school. So it's kind of like this music theater nerd. I felt like on the inside internally, I wasn't like the cool girl. but I think And like my You know I think People probably knew who I was

I had an unusual name And yes I was a cheerleader And yes I was up for Homecoming Queen But like I wasn't I don't think I was like Everybody's favorite If that makes sense I mean you had a lot of friends

I mean I liked my friends I was happy with my friend group You're dancers And you know When was like a You know Future Dartmouth engineer person and the other one was like well danced well enough to be in the american ballet

theater and you know i had a great group well-rounded people now i mean i have to ask you about this because it just stunned me when i read it i talked to you about it before but the whole thing where you're swimming in san diego with your buddies and this whole thing happened i mean we don't have to go into it that much but like it's something that just doesn't happen to people and when it does it's so shocking to everyone else around you that was it just one of those things where this guy walks up to you friends at the beach? You know, paint the picture here. It's funny that you bring that up because just yesterday, that guy that was released on parole that beat up that elder woman, the Asian woman, you know, all the Asian hate that's going

around. And I was reading about it in the New York Post. It turns out that he had committed murder. He actually murdered his mother when he was 19 years old in front of his five-year-old sibling goes to jail and gets out in 2018, I guess, is paroled in 2018, had been living in a homeless shelter. And there's no revisit it. Revisitism. How do you say that? I don't know. Don't ask me about these words, Ryan. What the hell is that mean? Basically, it's about, you know, it's sort of like helping people not repeat the same thing that they did. Oh, yeah. You know, it helps rehabilitate, it kind of bridges the gap between being paroled and your new life and getting reacquainted into society. So there's no revisionism, la la. That's embarrassing, but actually kind of

funny too. It's a hard word and I've never heard of it before. Recidivism, recidivism. Revisit recidivism. I think it's recidivism. I would look it up, but I had a home my computer. So anyway, there was no program. But what I was feeling is that, you know, he, he only got he murdered somebody right he's not a you know

in jail for life and so I think about that and I think about like how much work we have to do in that regard and police reform and just how unfortunately like all this is coming up

and I think why this comes up for me too is that the bystanders that were watching what happened to that Asian woman being a closet

and assaulted on the on and violently violated on the street there were three people on the inside that were watching it happen and they didn't intervene in fact they closed the door on her and that reminds me of what happened to me when I was on the beach because why it triggers me is because when what happened to me happened I was running like it was summer and everybody was parked along the freeway it you know on the beach and I was running going to cars knocking on campers and going from car day camper pounding like help me help me and nobody came nobody came to my rescue and so the next day you know whenever they comes out like the news is out

and I see it on the news and I'm like watching people be interviewed in there they've come out in groves there everybody's on camera talking about what they saw and what they heard and I was blown away because I was so hurt because I thought you know where were they where were you when I needed to? Right. Right. They wanted to make the news. They wanted to be on the news and they wanted to say I was there and it gives them some kind of validation, maybe. I don't know, but it really makes me so, so sad. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money. Period. It's Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. This is just some wonderful app. There's a lot of apps out there that really, you know,

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E. dot com slash inside of you free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash inside of you inside of you is brought to you by rocket money if you want to save money then listen to me because i use this ryan uses so many people use rocket money it's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions crazy right how cool is that monitors you're spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings and you know what's great it works it really works ryan rocket money will even try to negotiate lowering your bills for you the app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and it goes to work to get you better deals they'll even talk to

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subscriptions with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your accounts, if you're close to going over budget, and even when you're doing a good job. How doesn't everybody have Rocket Money? It's insane. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum in the survey so they know that I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show let me ask you so you're doing all this acting you're doing all the i mean once you start

auditioning and things what was your first break what was the first thing that all of a sudden you go that you get that you get um well my first job was baywatch and i didn't expect to get it but that wasn't the breakthrough the breakthrough was when i realized something was happening was apparently I did Baywatch and it aired. And then an agent named Wendy Green, who I think was at Irv Schachter at the time, she

represented young people, called me at my home. I don't know how she got my phone number. I didn't have any idea. Maybe she got it from Jeff Goldblum. No. But that's a good idea. And she called and she said she wanted to represent me.

And so I think that was a turning point, you know. Just off Baywatch, she saw you and said, this girl's got something. I guess. And you just did one episode? Yeah. Was it fun being on a set? Did you shoot in Hawaii? Where did you shoot? No, we didn't. We shot locally.

And all my scenes were with Hobie, the young kid. Was he nice? At the time, no. He's nice now. But at the time, no. So what was it? He was cocky. He was like, I'm on Baywatch. Maybe a little bit of that. And I felt he was a little too, forward and it was interesting because I was 24 playing 13 so I was playing 11 years younger than

myself and I think when all of that happened it made everybody nervous because of the age disparity and they needed to have an advocate on the said and I just kind of felt like I needed the advocate right um because he was a little bit forward um more than I would would have liked at the time but from what I understand now and I've bumped into him since then he's grown as a person so well that's good he was like 13 or 14 at the time so imagine being on the biggest show in the world oh my gosh making tons of money you know the world is your oyster and everything that comes through you know and he was only 13 or 14 when he's filming this I think so I think he was around that age oh I had no idea wow I'm so glad that I had no success until I was

you know, mid-20s or, yeah, because I just, even then, I was so, I just was immature. I just, you know, I, you know, I didn't grow up till, I didn't, like, I didn't start puberty till late. I didn't get my first girl till later. I didn't, I wasn't popular. Oh, what were you got your first girl, when your first girl, like, well, I think the first time I had sex was maybe when I was 18, but like, I was always like, oh, Rosie's so cute and he's so little, and they pinched my cheeks. And I never grew until, like, after high school. And then I grew to six feet tall. But I remember. going home crying i swear to god this is true i remember crying my parents going

dad you're six five mom's five seven what kind of drugs did you do look at me i'm fucking short and i ran up to my room and i remember them laughing but like it is laughable but it's like i thought i was never going to grow i thought i was never going to grow you do not like i've seen you in person i thought you were taller than six feet i'm six on the dot like 72 inches i'm not really are Yeah, I'm not, I'm not any talking. Yeah, but like I just remember, just the insecurities, but like to get success at that age, like I don't even, how do these people survive? I mean, at least you were 24 years old.

At least you were turning into a woman at this point and you had some experience behind you and you had a decent upbringing. Yeah. And then after that, she became your agent and things took off. Yeah. What was the next? What was the big thing? I think the next big thing, I think,

first big thing. My first series was Malibu Shores. Malibu Shores. Now, is it similar to Baywatch? Is it like a sort of like a soap opera thing? It was Aaron Spelling and it was kind of along the lines of a show called Canaan Dune Road that didn't end up going. But it was with Kerry Russell, Tony. Oh my God. I'm speaking on. What's his name? Essence, Atkins was on it. Randy Spelling was on it. You know, it was a great, great people. to be working with you know top of their game kind of people a lot of them will carry in and tony they were on um the disney they were disney kids the mouse cateer kids you know during that time when like ryan and justin and all those people were coming in christina wow did you ever get starstruck

did you ever on any of these shows never was it what was the first time you got starstruck um the first one okay i'll tell you it was last section here hero of the movie, ironically, that Eliza was in as a kid. Wow. And I was a caterer to the movie premiere. And I was catering the food. And then I went on a break and it went around my table and Arnold Schwarzenegger came at me, came towards me to go to the table, I guess.

But somebody else had taken over and I'm faced with him, face to face, face, I'm looking at him. He's looking at me. I can't speak. He's looking at me, expecting me probably to say something. I don't say anything and then he turns to his people because he had like a round of people around him

and says where's the food and I was like I lost it now cut to years later I'm at the Expendables world premiere at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas Arnold and Slyer like best friends we're backstage about to go on to the main stage

and Arnold's there and I end up approaching him and going, I met you that a long, long time ago, there's no way you would remember this, and he didn't. I remember you catered the food. I was so hungry. I was so hungry. And then I said, I did want to tell you something.

I said, when I was at Playhouse West, one of the, a part of the curriculum was that you had to read 1,500 pages a week. I do a book report at the end of every week so that you could learn something and also be able to glean from a script the essence of the story, like that you could understand what a story was and you knew what good writing was. They had a reading list. But anyway, you could also read any autobiography. So I read his.

And I said to him, you know, one of the most lasting impressions I had of reading one of your books was when you met Maria Shriver's dad, he had asked you, what do you do? And he went to answer and he goes, no, what do you do to help people? And I just thought that was such a powerful thing. Wow. And I've never forgotten it. And while I was talking to him, Rosie, I swear to God, like laser sharp focus.

He makes you feel like there's nobody else in the room. He has a thing. It's not quantifiable. You can't even, I can't even identify. identify what it is. But it is this ability to a hundred and ten percent focus, listen, super intently. I don't know what's going on in his mind. Everybody's, it's super loud where we were and it was like super sharp focus on everything I was saying. And he was just, he commented back that like that was a very, he was like really glad that I read the book and so flattered. And yes,

and it was awesome thing. And, you know, he was very, very congenial. It was really made an impression on me. So meeting Schwarzenegger, you, that's, that's the one. I would starstruck when I met Schwarzenegger. And then you read his book and you got, were you so excited. I bet you were just like. I read his book when I was a kid. Right. And then you got, you wanted to come up. You like, you had something to talk about. So many times people come up to actors or whatever and they're like, hey.

But like, it's, it's cool. I mean, I love when people have something to say to me. I'm very cool if they don't. But it's nice if they say, hey, I read this. No, I didn't read this. No, I didn't read that because you didn't write a book uh you know but it's nice it's definitely nice when they have some kind of like question or something that to say it was nice that you got a little starstruck and he gave you his undivided attention i like that yeah he was great he was he was a great he gives he makes you feel heard that's nice yeah i think that's important to be heard you know i said this before but like what he said where maria shriver's father said to him

What do you do? No, what do you do for people? Like, what do you do? Like, what importance do you bring? You know, it's like that saying where it's not what you do on camera to look like, oh, look, I'm so giving. I'm talking to this kid. I'm helping. But what do you do when the cameras are off? You know, that's, that shows the real individual. And I think that's really important. And I've learned from that. I've learned to, because you always, when the camera's rolling, turn it on, Rosie, you know, be the cheese ball. Oh, look. Oh, we're here. But it's when the cameras are off and you could really make a difference you know and um those are the moments that i that the moments that only i know about with certain people or certain kids or you know driving out to some

family's house to have dinner or and it's just me and nobody else knows except now you those are the moments that i'm like this is this gives you purpose you know what gives you purpose Oh my God. That's, that's, um, I'm such a great question. I feel 2020 really helped me decide that. And I think I want to leave a legacy of my, of, I think the one legacy I would want to leave behind for my son would be, you know, several things I think he gives me purpose in this sense so it goes back to this we were in a car once and I was driving him to soccer practice and he was talking about here he could never work a job nine to five that he's just not cut out for the nine to five life and I said yeah I feel you I wouldn't do that either I'm you know that's why I love acting and why I get to yeah but you know you don't write the scripts and you don't you know you know

you design the sets and you don't craft the wardrobe palette and you didn't you know blah blah he was like completely minimizing what I do for a living and like something that's super important to me like that I love doing like I am so passionate about what I do I love acting I can't bridle it I can't predict it I don't know how it's going to go and it's like forever challenging me in that sense And I love that about it. But he's attacking me and not really holding me like in like not even acknowledging like how hard it is to even get a job. And how old is he? How old is he when he's saying this?

He was, you know, probably 13, 14. Right. Just a little punkish. And age. And so he and I just, well, I said, I went to tell him, you know, you should probably maybe enroll in Yada and get an idea. of like what all is involved in acting because it's a lot more than what you're making it sound to be and it's a very collaborative thing.

And I was kind of like on the defensive and just saying, you know, before you start casting aspersions of what you think it is, maybe you should have the experience before you kind of put it down. And I said, and I gave the example of like Marlon Brando, like is an amazing of his screenwriter as Francis Ford Coppola is, he did not write what Marlon Brando devised as the character of Don Corleone, like putting the mothball, you know, jutting the John, doing the boys.

That's pretty good. You know, Marlon came up with that. So I kind of tried to explain to him the difference between, you know, writing something and bringing it to life to make my point. So anyway, that has been a huge driving force in me. So in 2020, I found purpose in, you know, finding my own path, creating my own project. So based out of my childhood experience as a young entertainer, I wrote a co-wrote a script called the Young Entertainers or the Untitled Charisma Carpter Project. And I also created another project called Karen Gets Canceled, which I have, I made a deck with my co-creator, Dan Merchant, who's worked on like Z-Nation and all these.

great shows. And we're pitching that. We're looking for, actually looking for a black production company to partner with. I'm very passionate about incorporating, you know, everything that we're trying to do in society today, more inclusivity, whether it's LGBTQ people or black talent in front and behind the camera, definitely bringing more diversity into the writers rooms you know this is like i want to be about it you know i really want to be about it so that gives me purpose and i created my icon as you know in 2020 which is just sort of like a fan talent connection i love talking to people i did it i love doing it i love talking to you on it you're really good at it you're good at it well i'm and so like i love the idea of creating

something and a platform for you know carefully i want to curate the group of people, all sci-fi-based. I'm not interested in being cameo. I don't want to have YouTubers like Bagel Boss on there where they're like making money on misogyny and creating, you know, a platform where they giving them an avenue to make money

on their misogyny. That doesn't align with me. So that's why my icon is so important to me. And then also it's an opportunity for me to give back to the two charities I care about, which is in Africa. And, well, there's Project Shine, which I care about. There's actually three. I don't,

give, I give privately to product shine, but my kind of set up where a percentage of all my sales, total sales, I send to the Ronan Thompson Foundation, which is, you know, cancer for kids, pediatric cancer research. And the other one is called the Thurist Project, which is how I came to go to Africa at all. And that's bringing water around the world. So those are the things that give me purpose. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee, and more.

Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. Ever wonder how dark the world can really get? Well, we dive into the twisted, the terrifying, and the true stories behind some of the world's most chilling crimes. Hi, I'm Ben. And I'm Nicole. Together we host Wicked and Grim, a true crime podcast that unpacks real-life horrors one case at a time.

With deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink to take the edge off. We're here to explore the wicked and reveal the grim. We are wicked and grim. Follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform. And you know what? The only thing I could think of was when your 13-year-old young man said that to you, I would have been like, this is the difference between you and I. I would have been like, what are you doing?

What have you done? What have you done it with your life at 13? which is a comedy right there it's like in his response to be i'm 13 mom not supposed to you would have actually said that that's what you said i'm not supposed to do anything at 13 yeah i'm not i'm not supposed to be doing anything at 13 that's true um but some people at 13 are that way i wasn't that person at 13 were you did you know that you were going to be do what you do make a living no no no into a podcast i never know i never thought i'd be i don't want to make it sound dramatic but to say like i had a death wish but like i

I, when I was a kid, I never thought I'd survive past high school. I thought I just, I'm not going to make it through it. And then I was like, I'm not going to make it in the real world. I just don't, I just can't fit in. I can't. I'm not smart enough. The way I thought was so toxic. And I just believe that I didn't belong.

And it wasn't until, you know, I found acting. Really, I just fell into it where I felt like I had something, like somebody thought I was good at something. And they gave me that attention that. I just craved and, you know, needed as a child. And so, you know, I think acting for me, I mean, but I did not have a clue to what I was going to do. I mean, I honestly thought when I graduate high school, I'll pump gas. My mom knew the guy at the gas station at Shell. And I would work at Westleman's grocery, sacking bags. Maybe that's it. So I thought my self-narrative was,

and by the way, isn't that a pleasant surprise how your life turned out? Like, I love the stories that you were telling on my icon when you were talking about um living with kerry fisher at her house and all the people they came through yeah you have a lot of fancy friends well i fancy friend person i really don't have fancy friends but i you know as much as i have these a lot of celebrity friends and i know a lot of people i don't hang out with them a lot my friends are very just not industry with um christen bell and her husband well dax is a close friend to mine for a long time but he was nobody when i met him when we were just we became good friends but uh and then christin i ended up doing a movie with her and dax but i i wasn't i've never been close with christin but enough like if

she saw me she'd give me a big hug and you know but we're not like you know there's a there's a loose term in hollywood and that word is friends it's it's very easy to say oh yeah i'm friends with so on some friends or so now i'm acquaintances with a lot of people and i like a lot of people And doing this podcast, I'm able to actually get to know them more and have some insight. And I think we become better friends or maybe it's more appropriate after I talk to them with this, you know, long conversation that maybe it's possible that you could be friends with them or maybe you are better friends because you know something about them. But I can't say that I'm friends with people that I don't know.

If I just see somebody go, I don't even know your last name or I don't know where you work. I don't know where you grew up. I don't know. These are things that I, you know, and like Ryan, Ryan's a friend of mine. And, you know, I hang out with a group of people that are mostly non-actors. I think I don't feel. I just don't ever feel that. I mean, I do have actor friends.

I'll go to a lake or game. I'll do these things. But I never felt like I fit in. That's still to this day. I can pretend you wouldn't know. Yeah. It's really interesting you say that because everything that I, like, my impressions when I first met you, and really spent the most amount of time with you, I think we were in Philly.

we might have been in Philly at a convention, yeah, yeah. And we were in the van together and chatting and you're like, you've got to come on my podcast. I was like, I'd love to come on your podcast. And then like, it's taken us three years to make it happen. But I remembered really at that point hitting it, turning the corner

because my impression was that you were a bit of a womanizer. Sure, sure. If you knew me, when I was early 20s and probably... I didn't know, no, no, this is just like... I didn't know you. I didn't actually ever even see you in person. This is just sort of...

I don't even know why I... Oh, it's rumors. See, we've got to be careful about rumors, because I hear things. I was, like, necessarily in a position to be talking about you, so I don't know if it was rumored. I just, I don't know where it came from.

I don't remember ever having a conversation about you and somebody's saying anything disparaging about you because I don't think that ever happened. I just probably just got this vibe that, you know, you're kind of into, you know, womanizing and, you know, not to be taken too seriously. You don't take women seriously. You're probably not a good listener. And it's like all those preconceived ideas are out the window because when I start to talk to you, I realize like, you know, you're an easy, you're easy to laugh with. you're easy to talk to you're really sweet you care about people you actually have a podcast where

you are forced to listen to people so clearly you listen to you know um you know like just it's just been such a great eye-opening experience for me because i really probably would never i if you ever had impression me it was probably like ice queen like because i just just you just my idea of who i thought you were was just you were not somebody I really wanted to get to that. I see I think that goes with a lot of people like there's people on TV shows that I go oh I hear that guy's an asshole he's a douchebag but I'm like

who am I to judge I haven't met this person I don't know this person and we all do it we all do it on the plane you would be very fussy you know about like you know I don't know if it's like a window or a see you're I'm claustrophobic

I'm claustrophobic I can't sit in the window and you were like talking to the stewardess and needing things and like on the phone at the same time with a girl, FaceTiming on the plane, which I thought was so rude. And I was just like, I just was watching you just going, you're blindness. All I see

is just like a lot of dust. It's just like noise. You know, like that. I just had these horrible. Well, you can't charge a book by his cover. And by the way, by the way. No, this is totally true. I was completely just determined to just have

that, you know, and that says a lot for, you know, my judgments and who I am, you know, like how much growing I need to do and have done, you know, to just be open to see and experience you in a different way. Yeah. And I'm so pleasantly surprised. Well, like, it's funny, you say that because, you know, I, look, I always thought you were, like, I was like, I don't know, she doesn't like people. She's, she's kind of distant. She's cold. She's, I don't know, she seems like she might be difficult. These are all things that I thought of. And then I started talking and I'm like wow she's uh she's cool because I didn't know you but I you know we don't know each other exactly we all like to think especially young look look to say to sit here

and say that I you know I'm perfect I'm beyond imperfect but and I own up to it but like you know in my 20s talk about a lost soul I was like a little puppy dog looking for love in all their own places looking to get attention look to looking at some kind of fulfillment in my life and thank God, you know, my 30s rolled around and I started to meet more mature women who I ended up having long relationships and becoming great friends with and growing as a human being. And that's a decision you make. You make that decision to either continue going on in a way that you just seem lost or you go, I am going to explore who I really am, no matter how dark and how difficult that is. people like to go there i don't i don't nobody wants to do that work believe me i don't not nobody obviously

you do and i really have but um well you're sweet for saying the nice things no you i said a lot of things that i that weren't so nice well i mean but those were about where my head was that i was very judgy exactly that's okay that's okay look i'm sure a lot of look here's the reality if you're a guy or a girl and you break up with someone or you don't want to see them anymore or whatever, you're an asshole. You're a doucheback. You're a womanizer. And if you're a girl and you don't and you don't call the guy back, you don't give me another chance, you're a bitch. And it's just like this cyclical thing that goes on and on into time about how bad everybody is. But how about 99% of the time you don't end up with the right person? 99% of the time. And the one percent

time you do, you end up getting a divorce. That's a harsh reality in the world. So, you know, you're going to make mistakes. You can't be the best guy to everybody. but you can do the best you can and you hopefully learn from it. Am I wrong? You're not wrong. I mean, I think twice and didn't get it right, so. You were divorced twice? Mm-hmm.

No, you weren't, really. Mm-hmm. Well, how much did you learn from that and how horrible is it to go through a divorce? Or is it the second one easier? The second one was, like, so easy. It was a minimum of them. It was six months. He didn't want anything.

I didn't want anything. and it was just, like, dissolve. Wow. No drama, nothing. It was super simple. Why can't all divorces be like that? I hear the worst things in the world. The first divorce was hard.

It was heartbreaking. And how do you get through it? Um, I mean, I had a son. I, you know, friends, your family. I have an amazing family. My family is so, so supportive. They're, in fact, it was so bad. My stepmother and my dad have a son, you know, my stepbrother, his name is Rob.

He, Rob's gay. And Rob had a partner at the time. His name was Marshall. And my parents had a family meeting there, over there in Indiana. And Marshall said he was going to, my parents said that they wanted to fly Marshall to come and stay with me to help me, like, you know, go through the divorce. Not him help me with the divorce part, but just, like, help me manage. Like, I was having trouble eating.

I couldn't sleep. I, you know, I was devastated. Yeah. But that's a good family. The logistics of it all and, you know, meet with lawyers and, you know, paperwork and like looking at all the things that I had I had to put on my business hat and kind of put my heart aside and and just look at it like that and then deal with the emotional fallout after and that was kind of like hard to do to manage it all well and I just

remember one day when I went to pick up my son from kindergarten he had the sweetest weedest teacher and I went in to see her and she looked at me and she I don't know why she just gave me this big hug and it was like I don't know if you can imagine like the she was like a heavier set woman and she had an accent and she was always so sweet and she just gave me this hug and I she must have been intuitively new to hug me and I just broke like it just because I was staying strong for my son. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I didn't want to like, and I,

and it was, you know, my husband at the time was the love of my life at that point. And I just couldn't believe this was happening. And I couldn't ever, I didn't really have time to deal with it emotionally. And when she hugged me, I just, it was so unexpected because I'm not a hugger.

Unless it's on my terms, like, unless we have like a really close friendship. Like I just didn't, I, be something that I would want, right, or necessarily want to receive, but you needed it in that time, in that moment, you needed that. She knew it and just held me and I just, well, you know what? I think that that's the weirdest thing.

I try to play it like I don't have emotions sometimes, or I'm not going to let this get to me. It's the little, it's the little things that just can trigger an emotion. Yeah. And the friend that you didn't think you'd break down in front of the least likely character or that moment that you just didn't expect and it's just the right time. It's on your watch. It's like your emotional watch. It's almost like it ticks by itself.

It's like the alarm's going to go off when it goes off and it's not telling you. And something so sweet or subtle can just open up the floodgates. And that's happened to me many times. where I have to leave the room because I can get so emotional. I mean, I've gotten, I've gotten so emotional just from a kid from the Ronald McDonald House. I remember I was fine. I acted fine.

And then I started telling the story to one of my friends. And I was just like, yeah, and he was just so sweet. And then he's just going to help the cert. Like, oh my God. Oh, my fucking God. And I was just a mess. Like I was like, it just hit me. I was like, why am I crying in front of you?

I'm telling the story. I got so mad at myself. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I'm doing this. And like, no, no, it's totally cool. And they were like, oh, my God, Rose and Mums, you know, but they were cool. And, but anyway, thank you for sharing that. That's, you know, there's definitely been a couple of times where I've had loss.

And, you know, I know that I know from talking to friends who have had divorces, it is a loss. It is like, it's like losing somebody. It's like a death. Am I right? um it really i really feel like yeah i think yeah okay yes i feel like that was very very hard it was very hard all right this is the fun time of the the trip i mean we can talk about a couple things but this is shit talking with charisma carpenter this is rapid fire um except this first question Lauren w no question just want a high five you charisma for standing up for everyone that had to

endure a toxic work environment those of us too scared to do so applaud you that's sweet i mean i'm sure you were like going i hope he doesn't talk about this but you knew i was going to talk about a little it's pretty much out there but you know i keep thinking it's like you know this was the same time i was doing probably smallville and you're doing buffy and angel and all this stuff and i don't know what it's like to be a woman i'll never know what it's like to be a woman and it's fucking hard i could tell how hard it is and how people look at you and what was it the thing that kind of the straw that broke the camel's back that you felt like this is toxic like that i mean there's probably little things along the way but what what is it that is it you know because i'm not really i don't know

a lot about this other than it was a toxic worker environment and a lot of people supported you and said yes it was and i was like oh wow and i don't really know the inside scoop other than um i know some issues when you were pregnant and things like that and it just sounded awful but i just wanted to hear it from you yeah um i wanted to keen talking about it because i think i think honestly i was really descriptive with my letter for that reason you know and so like when it all kind of happened i was getting a lot of invitations from you know like the today show or the view or like all these people, Gil King, you know, calling to have a conversation about it.

And I really wanted to be clear that this wasn't about publicity. This isn't about a publicity tour to kind of like, you know, share my, air my greed, you know, like laundry or whatever in the sense that it's a, that it's, because people and the world at large based on my own social media. are cynical of that kind of stuff. You know, they think that that's why you're saying it. You know, they think that that's what's happening. And I think, you know, it's disappointing to hear that that the, that's where the head goes. But I'm sure in some cases that has happened. So it's fair.

But I just really feel like I said everything that I needed to sit. and it took me two weeks to write that letter and every word choice you know I had a typo in there which still bugs me but like what was the typo do you worry about a typo people don't worry about it literally like I worked so hard editing it crafting it saying this not saying that what do I want to say what you know what instances should I choose to say like I really said everything I could have possibly wanted to say on the subject there. And it was very articulate. I mean, it really spoke volumes. And did it feel like it was like an elephant out of the room, like, or, you know, the monkey off your back? Like, you felt like once you

did it, it felt really just good to get it out there because it's something that had been bottling up for so many years. Um, actually, it was really stressful. It was really stressful the two weeks knowing that it was coming, that I was crafting it. Then, And then when I had to push post, that was really stressful. I thought literally it was going to lose my bowels in my bed. I'm sure, I'm sure. I was going to be that in a whole other way. Yeah, yeah.

Like, quite literally, I had gurglies and, you know, and I think that's kind of like, two, I had to do it because I knew how it made me feel. And I knew I was seeking a really big, really big risk by saying this because, you know, I go to cons all the time. and you know it's a great deal of my income and these days and I was really putting myself in a position to alienate my fandom and speaking out against the creator of my show where I go to these conventions and people walk with t-shirts on their backs saying like Joss Whedon is my god so I was really afraid of insulting them, offending them, alienating them. and I really had no idea that coworkers were going to like I really never imagined Sarah saying anything or like I was really really just as shocked as everybody like you just yeah everybody just when your coworkers were saying shit then you're like wow I did not see that I thought maybe deadline would pick it up I had no You had no expectations.

You just thought, I want to do this because I want to do this. No, I wanted to do for Ray. I think it's easier to advocate for other people than for yourself. And I knew certainly 20 years ago that wasn't an option. Well, I appreciate it. When I saw 20 years later that the same person was doing the same things, you know, I had grown um i had met ray at a con we became very good friends through a con and you know that's how it all how our conversation kind of started and how our how then like three months later he

last summer he said what he said and then he like wanted my name on on social media and then i was like really under pressure and i wanted to do something behind the scenes you know in my own time yeah and when he was let go from the cyborg role cyborg role I was that was it I didn't do it well I appreciate yeah

and we don't have to talk about it but it was a good way of talking around it about look you said everything you said in the in the tweet if you guys want to read her tweet it's pretty freaking powerful and a lot of other actors from the show stepped up and supported her and I think that's pretty fantastic in its own uh this is quick really quick. Raj,

who are some people you felt tried to make the work environment instead of positive experience? Who are some people that you just loved working with?

I mean, most people I enjoyed working with. There wasn't like, you know, who I had the most fun with was Nikki because we had a lot

of scenes together as lovers. And he is naturally very funny. And he has a great sense of humor. And so, you know,

I had a lot of, lot of fun working with him in the early years little lisa did you take any props or wardrobe from buffy or angel oh many did you really i take so many you're like me that's what i do i'm the only one that takes props for my set no i have my chair you have the chair that you were telling me about oh i have my chair i have my trophy i have my burnt certificate um grad at high school diploma i have a lot of clothes I got rid of a lot of clothes, but I still have my Benetton lime green trench coat that I wore. I have my teddy bear from bad eggs.

I have... Just like me. You're just like me. I have every single script with every single note I ever made in every script, saved in these ink-preserving boxes. I save and keep everything. I'm not quite Soleil, Moon, Fry. Did you see her documentary?

Very powerful. 90s kid all right i'm gonna i was told to watch it i'm gonna watch it very very powerful all right she knew a lot of people she had a lot of fancy friends too like you oh stop it um she she filmed everything so like i didn't film anything but i kept a lot of and took a lot of pictures i like that i like that because we're kind of like kids in a candy store this is it's an exciting thing to do when you're on a set it's like you know i always feel that and i want to i want to take something home i want to take a picture I'm going to remember it. And, like, other actors are like, no, I don't have pictures.

I don't have autographs. I don't have, you look around my house, like a museum, like, in certain rooms. That's just who I am. I think that's amazing. I mean, I don't have it on display, but maybe someday I will. Look, this has been a blast. I've learned so much freaking about you now that I didn't, I just didn't know. You know, it's like.

You were talking about all this stuff and places you've been and people you knew and experiences you had. and your insecurities and who do we could go on about you were you find i thought that you thought that you were this good you know and you were out there just like getting the girls and you know that's not i mean it what's so sweet to see like how you're like just like me please well look it's not like i look i i went out with girls i went look you're young you're in hollywood you're going to go out with a lot of girls unless you're an idiot you're good i mean and look not an idiot like I'm a lost young guy from Indiana who is the only one to get out and do something was so

immature and I was just like oh my God it's a kid in a candy store they're giving me free stuff and there's girls and there's of course did you ever sleep with anybody you worked with on small never never never never never never never there was a very there's a lot of respect on that set there was always I mean there was some flirts sure people flirted there's pretty girls there's cute guys Most of the guys, I think, I flirted it with more. You know, it was just, it was that, you know, that you don't shit where you eat. Have you ever been with a guy? No, no, no, no.

I have lots of gay friends, but I'm not gay. I made out with Jason Isaacs in Sweet November. It wasn't scripted, but we made out in the back in the scene. And the director was like, Mike, that's very nice, but we don't need that. You don't have to kiss or anything because we're not really seeing you on camera. So you're wasting the French kiss off camera. Anyway, we, but Jason Isaacs and I did, we kissed. And I have no issues with that.

I'm very comfortable with my sexual. a lot of gay friends uh you know i yeah i don't i don't care about that stuff but uh no i've never been with a man um that's not my thing a lady uh i think i have been a lady you say a lady well let me see i could talk to you forever so another time but thank you so much for being flexible with me today honestly i got my vaccine yes this has been awesome and you look fantastic you were saying honestly when you text me and you were like You were saying you were 50, which you could look up. It's not like it's a look.

I honestly, Ryan, on my mother's life, may I drop dead? You could pass for like early 30s. No. What I'm looking at right now, I'm telling you, early 30s. 50 is, have you seen 50-year-old women? I mean, sure. I just don't think you. And this isn't me hitting on you.

This is a friend. She's 50. She's hot. I'm just saying, you don't look freaking 50. Anybody. I could argue with anybody on that. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. That's kind of you. I think you were great for, you know, 42. 49 in July. Yeah.

I'm getting there. I'm getting there. I'm getting there. I don't even look 42. Oh, yeah, right. People deserve well. It must have been all the alcohol when we were 20s. Yeah. Jeez, Louise. All right. Look, I love you. I wish you the best. And thank you for doing this. You're very kind and you're very brave and I appreciate you. Thank you, friend.

Lovely episode. Very nice. Very nice talking to charisma and it's been a long time coming. I've been wanting her to get on the show for quite some time. We used to, I mean, she was on the WB for a long time. I was in the WB for a long time. And we never really hung out a lot. We just kind of knew of each other like we talked about.

Like, yeah, I heard you were kind of like, you know, let me tell you. It's not defending myself. But, you know, when you're in your 20s and you're in Hollywood, there's nothing wrong with. going to parties and having a good time and meeting the ladies especially when you're my when you're me growing up who didn't go out with girls really and was the smallest kid in my high school i definitely had fun um but you know i was younger and you know that's that's the way it goes i think i think there's anything wrong with it but it's amazing how people think certain things about people because they hear oh he's a player or he you know you know i always

consider a player someone who tries does whatever he can you know get the girl get laid I never was like that was always just very honest I'm not the kind of guy that's gonna go I love you I really think we got something here I'm not like that I've never been like that and I don't lead people on like that you didn't read that book what was it called or there was that book on picking up women 13 and being a dick what is it was that that book on how to pick up women I never read a book I'm

picking up women I think it was called something like the game or something yeah it's like something that a lot of guys tried to do I never, I think it was just, you know, the reason I'm single all these years is because, or I've been in relationships three years here, two years here, but, you know, you look at my dysfunctional family and my sister who's divorced four times. My mom's in her third marriage, not to say it's not a happy marriage now. My dad, just when I look around, I just, I grew up, I didn't feel a sense of safety. And so marriage is in a word that I associate safety with or like comfort. So until I meet someone that just feel comfortable and who knows maybe i will get married i mean i think i

who knows nobody knows just to say uh thank you for listening guys i appreciate you and please subscribe as i told you in the beginning of the show uh subscribe on youtube subscribe on spotify apple stitcher etc etc if you want to listen to the band on may 29th we got two shows go to sunspin com also got merch you could get zooms uh if you like the podcast and want any great swag go to the inside of you online store and uh if you want to join patron go to patreon.com slash inside you that's p a t r eon dot com slash inside of you uh the handles are at inside of you pod on twitter at inside you podcast on instagram and facebook and uh also follow the band sunspin at sunspin band on all socials another good week ryan every week that we're here is a good week we're alive spring is springing

springing springing springing i like it days are looking nice yeah i've been taking blanche to the dog park a lot that's good she really loves that it's so fun to see her so happy and you know i could feel like in the beginning for the first couple weeks with her of losing her buddy her brother you know we were both kind of upset and i could just tell that she was just a little bit off but like i just tried to keep her busy try to keep her busy give her lots of love and know that you know because when she when i leave now there's not it's not her and erv together it's just her and so she's like you know i don't want her to feel so i try not to leave her my friends are like hey let's go out of town i go it's limited limited for the first month or two before i am able to do that i think

let's go right at it uh keep listening i love you here are the big patrons the top tier patrons who uh give so much of the podcast all my patrons do but uh these people give a little bit more and i will give them their shoutouts because i love them and they deserve it nancy d mary b lea s trisha f sarah v little lisa you can't Keiko. Jill E. Brian H. Lauren G. Nico P. Robin asked Jerry W. Robert B. Jason W. Apothean. Kristen K. K. Not to be confused with. Christian K. Amelia. Oh. Allison. Hell. Yes, man, you baffle me. I know you look at these, but I can't do all these last names.

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Patreon, I love you just as much. And it really means a lot to me. So Marcus, thank you and thank you to everybody who continue to support me who can't support me anymore. Whatever it is, you're still loved hannah b michael s t talia m lucas h andrew t and this is the last list right here we got betsy d claire m liz j laura l chatt l rachel nathan e brandell brandall randall taylor k neal a there's a cuch did you hear that neil that's for you marian meg k jeanel p trav l it's actually travel travel travel dan n jennifer j wayne and diane r o jeda l g ogia Corey M. Carrie H. Veronica K. Big Stevie W. Kendall T. Lindsay M. Carol D. K. Katie G. Sandy B. Angel M. Eric C. Rianan C. Stephen M. Corey K. Super Sam. Emily K. Sherry S. Coleman G. Michelle A. Riley J. and Liz L. You guys are all rock stars. I appreciate the hell out of you. Thanks for listening today. Please listen tomorrow. And every other day. I really appreciate it. And I wish you nothing but health and happiness. Be good to one another.

Be good to yourself, most importantly. Get therapy if you need it. Like I said, you know I do. So that's that from Michael Rosenbaum here. And Ryan Tayers over here. In the hills of Hollywood, California. Ryan, look at the camera up there. Give a little wave.

We love you. Thank you each and every one of you for allowing me to be inside of you all these times. And continue to listen to the show and make me happy. All right, I'll see you around. Football season is here. Oh, man. Believe has the podcast to enhance your football experience. From the pros.

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