Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - CARRIE-ANNE MOSS: Matrix Surprise, Memento Freedoms, Facing Your Bullies & Seeking Internal Validation

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

🚨 This episode was recorded before the SAG-AFTRA strike. For more information visit: https://www.sagaftrastrike.org/ Carrie-Anne Moss (Matrix, Memento) joins us this week to share the work she’s done to be able to sustain such a career in this industry by prioritizing internal validation over external praise and not feeding into the false hype of Hollywood. Later in the episode Carrie-Anne talks about the joy and support she received while filming the Matrix films, however the freedom while shooting Memento cements it as one of her favorite projects. We also talk about confronting your childhood bullies, her bond with Keanu Reeves, and the importance of empowerment through her brand Annapurna Living. Thank you to our sponsors: ❤️ Betterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/inside 🍽️ Factor: factormeals.com/inside50 🟠 Discover: https://discvr.co/3Cnb1V8 🐮 Moinkbox: https://moinkbox.com/ __________________________________________________ 💖 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/insideofyou 👕 Inside Of You Merch: https://store.insideofyoupodcast.com/ __________________________________________________ Watch or listen to more episodes! 📺 https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/show __________________________________________________ Follow us online! 📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🤣 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@insideofyou_podcast 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/insideofyoupod 🌐 Website: https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Jason Nelkin is here. Jason Elkin's here. Hey, everybody. You let your hair down when the cameras are rolling. I do, just for the folks at home. Yeah. Ryan couldn't be here, but Jason's here.

And yeah, I noticed that. We were looking at the camera. You're like, you know what, man, I'm going to let it down. Days confused, brother. Well, it's tough to work with when I'm setting things up. But when the cameras are on and I'm all set, it's time to let the hair down and really get comfortable here. for another episode of Inside of you What's that song

Let's your hair down I don't know Probably a lot of songs I'm going out tonight I'm gonna Let it all hang Never mind Shut up

I want to shut up Sounds fun Sounds like a fun Thanks for listening Thanks for being here Jason Ryan couldn't be here today But it's always a treat To have you here

When you are here Always a pleasure to be here When I am here Yes That's very profound Oh wow true Yeah What is going on?

We've got a great freaking guest today. I'm very excited. If you're here for Cary Ann Moss, you're in for a treat. Don't fast forward. We've got some information. If you dig the podcast, if you like it, you go, wow, that was a really good interview. All I ask is maybe you give it another shot. You write a review, subscribe, spread the word, a little podcast here, and we can use your

help if you really dig it. At Inside of You podcast on Instagram and Facebook, at InsideE Pod on the Twitter. I think it's a great interview. I enjoyed it. I mean, you edited it. You're the editor. You edited it. Say that.

I edited. I edited it. I edited it. I edited it. Um, some, just some quick things. The inside of you online store has amazing stuff. If you're a small-ville fan, it's got so many cool things, Lexmus scripts and, uh, ship keys, autographed and little busts and statues and, uh, tumblers with new tumblers and shirts

and all sorts of stuff. I've got to the inside of you online store. Get some cool merch today. um what else you can also um listen to the podcast on anywhere except stitcher stitcher's going out of business so if you're listening on stitcher make sure you subscribe to apple or something else or watch on youtube because stitcher is going down yeah i don't know i don't want to say that's it uh i will be in doing some cons in september i think we're going to dc uh salt lake city nice yeah a lot of stuff going on there so um and the patrons my patrons patron's patron dot com slash uh inside of you if you want to join

patron and support the podcast in extra ways um that's pretty groovy and i'm going to try and do a meet up with the patrons so if you show up to dc i think we're going to try and get together for an hour or so just to you know meet all the lovable patrons who without them i couldn't do this podcast i've said it before you you listen to it while you're editing oh yeah yeah it's important it's like, you know, I didn't, I didn't know what patron was in the beginning. And then when I went now that I've been doing it, I'm like, holy shit. This is, uh, this is it, baby. I couldn't do it without these guys. Patron.com slash inside of you. I'll send you a message after you, um, become a patron. Uh, there's tons of perks. Um, I send packages to the top tiers. I give a shout shout outs at the

end of every episode. Um, all sorts of cool stuff. YouTube lives where I play music and I have answer questions and we're adding stuff to the patron so uh it's a good place to get to know people a lot of a lot of patrons or friends um all that stuff uh the band my band sunspin dot com go to sunspin com gets the new vinyl is out our new album never is what it is the new vinyl is out get one there's only a hundred made i think we've already sold half of them in a few days they're badass we're really excited we're working on our next album you could listen to the music anywhere spotify apple the band is sunspin and we're doing a stage it on the 29th i believe of july a lot of cool stuff going on and more importantly i'm having fun i'm trying to have fun and trying to enjoy the experience

and the and the process this was important yeah um that's about it this uh next guest uh i was surprised i got her christin ritter hooked me up at this she uh name drop i just named drop but she's a good friend and she hooked me up with kerry and moss who i surprised did it you know and um we had a conversations she's so together i was really surprised not surprised i guess i'm not surprised that most people are more together than i am but um it's uh it's it's it was refreshing and i think she she uh what is it goes to the beat of her own drum marches to the beat of her own you have to say marches to the beat of her own drum you have to say marches is you know like dung dung step she marches to the beat of her own drum yeah there's a band called the drums

the way there's a song called money i want to buy you something i love money but i don't have any money you've ever heard it the drums no money by the drums i can't say you got to listen to it i think you'll dig it i like you like metal though don't you i like everything but i especially like metal you do do you like deaf leopard yeah of course sweet uh great podcast today i hope you enjoy it uh without further ado let's get inside of kerry ann moss it's my point of you You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. Hey folks, wanted to highlight something important before today's episode.

In case you weren't aware, myself and many of the guests are on strike alongside SAG after NWGA. Today's episode, and any we air before the strike ends, were recorded before it began. So this is just a heads up in relation to some for the topics we may discuss. If you want more info on the strike, visit sag afterstrike.org. Now let's get into it. I mean, is it true that you were named after the Carrie Ann song by The Hollies? Is that true, actually? Because sometimes Wikipedia, you know.

Yeah, it is true. I love that song. Yeah, I was number one. day I was born. I think my mom had, um, she had another name picked for me. And then she heard the song, uh, well, I think after she had me and she changed her mind. So there you go. Really? Yeah. I could just, if you guys haven't heard that song, Hey, Carrie Ann, what's your game now? That's a really good. The Hollies, right? Yeah, that was a fun song. What was her big hit? They had a big hit.

I forget. I kind of visualize it on the other side of the record. The 45. Yeah. Oh, it's, all I need is the air that I breathe, the air that I breathe. There you go. Oh, man, I miss that music. I miss the 70s and 80s. I know.

It's such a good time. We were so lucky. Yeah. Do you listen to anything now, by the way? Do you listen to any music now or are you really stuck back in the day? No, I listened to all the new stuff. I have a, my daughter is almost 14 and we do a lot of driving together. And so she has some pretty epic playlists and has introduced me to kind of all that new,

you know, 13, 14 year old music, which is very catchy and fun and something I would never have any clue about if it wasn't for her and those long drives. But yeah, I love music. I love singing. She sings. We sing in the car. I think it's, you know, I always say like. when my kids are singing uh i know they're all well like they're you know they're you know you can

it just is like medicine for your heart just to yeah sing so i love to do that and i love to do it in my car it's happy are do you sing loudly i mean do you act like i mean if people are watching you would you be embarrassed if someone was filming you never no uh maybe probably but do you sing well you can sing well huh well i mean i love singing i don't know if i sing well anymore i used to think pretty well when I was younger. I went to a high school in Vancouver where we had like a really, really good choir and band. And so we traveled all over Europe, like singing in all the cathedrals. So I was in like a jazz choir and in all kinds of different choirs. And yeah, music was sort of my first love. I mean, I always wanted to be an actor, but I love, I love singing. But I don't,

you know, I only do it for fun. It's, it's personal, you know. You know, I always said that too, and I'd rather be a rock star than an actor or, you know, it just, there was something about it that I just, I just loved, but I always felt like, eh, you're not that great of a singer. You're not that great of a guitarist. You don't sing like Adam Lambert, don't do it. And then all of a sudden, I turned like 45 and I was like, I just, I've always loved this. Why not do it? And the reason why I didn't do it, I think, is because I was always worried about what other people thought and how they would perceive me and how they put my music down and how they judge me. And then I said, why is that holding you back? And I'd said hell with it. And I put together a band and I've recorded three albums in the last three years. And I'm just like, and I'm loving it. And it's not like it's making a lot of money, but it's something I love. Do you have any passions like that where, you know, you do it and you love it, but you wish that this was what you did besides singing. Yeah, I mean, I have a real passion for um for wellness so you know if people i'm kind of i have a detective mind so i have a tendency

to like when i'm working on a show or something if people are dealing with some kind of like health issue like i get really into it and you know i have quite a few friends that are amazing doctors and healers and all kinds of things so i i enjoy that like i think if i i i think if i I never went to college. It never crossed my mind to go to college. I always wanted to be an actor. But if I was to look at kind of what I love now, I might have been a doctor.

I do enjoy, like, you know, I've met some really great doctors in my time in my life. And doctors that really think outside the box and are a detective-like and understand, you know, more than just sort of like individual, like, oh, you're going to this person for this thing and this thing instead of like looking at the whole thing. person looking at your whole life, looking at your emotional life, all that. I find that very fulfilling

and I enjoy doing that. And I like to, you know, to support people. And not that I know and not that I know what to do, but I, I listen and I research and I might offer a perspective that they hadn't thought of. That's happened quite a few times. Oh, man. You opened Pandora's box or Padora. Wow. Well, first of all, you're on the right podcast because, you know, I think inadvertently this podcast kind of evolved into mental health and, you know, and I talk about my anxiety and dysfunction and people talk about death and Frank Grillo. He's a great actor. He was just on. He talked about he lost his mother and father within a year and one of his best friends and, you know, how we got through that. And, you know, this is some. something that it's become and it's helped so many people, which I was like, what? I don't understand. But when guests like you talk about that stuff, because there was always a stigma, you know, with, you know, therapy and talking about your emotions. And I think that's getting better nowadays. And it's sort of, but it's, it's, it's very helpful. And I love that you talk about

that. And it's funny, you say you like helping people on set because I text Kristen Ritter. And I said, well, what can you tell me about Carrie Ann Moss? And this is her text to me. You ready to be embarrassed? Yes. Maybe. One of the most important people I've ever met in my life. All the good things I know about are from her.

She's the person I go to for mothering advice, health, essential oils. When I'm not doing great, she's a first stop. She's a true friend like family. One of the greatest gifts of my life has been her. friendship and then she said there was a day on jessica jones on on a season where she got a terrible migraine she was in really rough shape and she had to work anyway and she can't and you can't you had to work but you came in on your day off to help her through it and support her and massage her and use your magic oils i was like what i would never come in on my day off

I mean, who does that? That is just like, is that, she says that's just who you are. And I had a feeling when I met you that I'd be like, oh, my God, I need someone like this. I need someone so, because I could just tell right away how calming you are. Oh, I don't know about that. I mean, I definitely had that vibe and I can't have that vibe. But, you know, I'm just like every person, I have many sides. And, but I, um, I do love.

helping people. And I have a deep love for Kristen. And I also understand the pressure and stress of being number one on a show and what that takes. And I, you know, being older now, I'm, you know, three or four on the call sheet generally. And it's, it's actually a super great gift of, you know, a long career of working hard and putting in all those hours, you know, kind of, it's definitely not as vigorous in terms of, you know, sometimes it is, but in general, I'm making kind of a general assessment there. But so, yeah, it was my honor to go and support her. I have three children. So Jessica Jones was like a really huge sort of step out of my comfort zone because I hadn't really left them to work. I'd worked a very, I worked really not very often. Had to be kind of really

perfect in terms of schedule and if I could bring them when they were little like I never left them. But it got harder as they went to school. So it was hard to work. It's hard to go away to work. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money. Period. It's Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. This is just some wonderful app. There's a lot of apps out there that really, you know, you have to

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for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash inside of you. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash. inside of you. And Jessica Jones came at a time and I said, okay, can I do this? Like, can I go have an apartment in New York and, like, fly back and forth? I'd fly back and forth to L.A., like, I don't know, 20 times a month.

I mean, I'd just go to work, I'd show up, work, get them playing, go back. How it's the last thing was that? It was really, it was, I mean, listen, it was a real adjustment. I had been living like a life of like being really in a nourishing kind of bubble with my children. Like I'm very, I love being a mom. And so like, you know, there's a rhythm to that, right? And so I was really like hesitant to step out of it. But I also believe and I also know that stretching out of your comfort zone and doing things that feel really like you can't do it is so good for you.

and I grew so much. And a lot of that growth, Kristen really supported because, like, I know it sounds so silly, but, like, I didn't even know, like, really how to use my phone, like, at that time. Like, I really didn't Uber, what? Like, like, I mean, I really had zero idea. Like, I was away, like, having kids,

and the whole industry changed. The whole world changed, basically, while I was at home making breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you know? and I was, it was like jarring. And she just would like go, okay, here, give me your phone, you know, or it sounds such a, it's such a little tiny thing that she did for me, but she just kind of has this really, like she's very business minded and she's very, very creative, very professional. She knows how to get things done.

And I am as well, but I'd been in this sort of softer kind of nourishing, nurturing kind of vibe that I wasn't sure how I could do it. And so she was very supportive of that and helped. me a lot. So it was definitely our relationship is very equal in what we give each other. And we care about each other. We've been through things together, you know, it's tough to go to work and have a, like, a headache like she had. Like, like, brutal. How did you know? Did you, it was your day off, right? So I can't remember if she texted me or if somebody texted me and told me. I can't remember, but. And you just came to that. You said, I'm just going to set. I'm going to help her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

that's extraordinary it's it's what we all need to think about with with our lives it feels good right it feels it's not like it feels good to be supporting other people it feels good to be supported it feels good to be part of community it feels good to be connected to other people and to care you know about other people i mean it it's only a win win right yeah but i don't know like are you in look i know you're canadian so you're probably in you know it's it's just part of you because I know a lot of Canadians and they're also such kind people like I'm sure there are bad Canadians but for the most part the ones that I've met there's something calming there's something sweet there's something honest about them I don't know what it is but um

is it something that you grew up with I know your mom raised you right? Was was she like that was like I mean she's she's a kind person you know my family my find my family are filled with kind people for sure um you know i i don't know and i have to say like christin inspired something in me in that moment like i knew that she needed that help and you know you just do that when it matters right yeah how is it like what was it like growing up in like burnaby because that's where i filmed smallville in burnaby for okay for seven years i mean I guess 10 in a way. But, you know,

Burnaby is not the, I'm not putting Burnaby down, but I just, I just know it as like kind of commercial. Maybe I didn't see the, all the beauty. Was I missing something? Oh, I don't think I saw any beauty.

I don't think I saw any beauty. And I think, you know, I live very rural now and, um, I love nature. And I, you know,

I would consider, although there was a lot of beauty, I'm sure like I would notice now. But at the time, you're a teenager. You just, you know you're young you're just kind of going to school and figuring out how you're going to get out of there you know like I just remember thinking I would look at my sidewalk and think I cannot

wait to get out of here and it wasn't like I hated it or anything like that and I said that to my kids all the time like that's part of what motivates you to do things in your life and you know like to have dreams and you know to push yourself out of your comfort zone again right to just sort of imagine, like, there's a whole world out there. And so growing up in Burnaby, I think, if I look back at it now, I had, you know, I walked to school every day. And I have kids and they've never walked to school. So, you know, it's like school is just not, it's just not like that anymore. Like, I mean, I'm sure it is, but like our schools aren't close enough to walk, although, you know, I walked 45 minutes. Like, I'm not seeing my kids going like, I'm going to

walk 45 minutes or even me saying you're going to walk 45 minutes it's it's a different time you know we were latchkey I was a latchkey kid um that generation of just a different kind of independence I think that we that people of my generation um got and um I really couldn't get out of there quick enough and as beautiful as Vancouver is like I've never really wanted to go back and do that um live there or anything like that I've considered it maybe when I first had children and you get really nostalgic about your own life. And then you go back and you see, wow, it's completely changed. It's no longer the way it was.

And you can't replicate your childhood. You just kind of bring what you like, leave the rest. And so, yeah, growing up in Burnaby, I mean, I did have a lot of opportunities that I think is kind of interesting. I'm sure my mom was the one to figure all that out. But I was part of a group that sang and danced all over. And like a couple of us went on to do pretty well. When you say a couple of us, who were those people? I'm forgetting right now.

Like I'm completely blanking, but I think there's two other women that ended up having really nice careers, but I'm totally totally now. So that was kind of interesting, you know, because I'm always looking for those kinds of things for, like, say, my daughter, and I find it kind of hard to find. But again, I went to this high school, public high school. that, you know, I was, you know, did plays that were, like, written for our school. I traveled all over Europe singing, you know, in cathedrals with that beautiful acoustics and just, I mean, you know, going to Europe and never have been. And I remember they gave us, like, an allowance, like for, our breakfast was always included in, like, the pension or the hostel we stayed.

And then you got, like, your lunch money. And then we would all come to dinner. So, you know, you had your money for lunch. And I took my money. and I got my haircut, like really short, like really, like cool and short and like a new, like I looked like a completely different person, but I had no money to eat lunch. And I thought that wouldn't be a big deal until I was like really hungry. So then I had to call my mom and she ended up like, you know, wiring me, right? How old are you at this point? I'm like 16. She's wiring me money.

I'm with the school, right? Yeah, I'm 16. and my mom said that when I got off the plane she was just like her breath was she just her just her breath was taken away because I had just transformed you know I'd just gone out of where I came from and and and the smell and the feel and the sound and it just it it informed me and I just always wanted to like see what is out there that's brave though see I didn't have the wherewithal or the I the confidence I just I grew up in a small town in Indiana and I was kind of surrounded by dysfunction. You know, my family was

completely, you know, all over the place. And I was just kind of, I just felt like this lost little kid. And of course, I dreamed of like, oh, this, but I just, I never thought it would ever happen. I don't know how. I mean, and the way it happened was, was pretty crazy. I won't bore you that with that shit. But, um, I want to hear. No, no, I will, I'll tell you some other time. But it's just like, you know, I couldn't. imagine i remember my dad i went to hockey camp for a week and that was just terrifying it was in canada and they left me and i and it was just so jarring but it sounds like um probably 14 15 and i know i don't know it's interesting right how did you have that because did you ever

were you anxious as a kid you have anxiety were you sad kid where you have no no no i was really you know i was born with a very sunny disposition um That's, you know, every picture of me as a baby as I'm laughing. And I remember just, you know, I'm not saying that I don't have, that I haven't accessed some other parts of the emotional life of a human being. But my early years, I just was somehow, and I think it came from my mom. My mom was a young mom. and like our home was very simple. We didn't have money.

It was just, but it never felt like, it just felt cozy and close, you know, and I just didn't struggle with, I was always confident. And I mean, listen, I'm not saying confident,

like, you know, definitely all that girl's stuff that happens, like in middle school, I definitely dealt with a lot of that stuff. But, like, I was bullied at one point when I was in high school. What they bully you about? I was bullied by about three girls who really had an issue with the fact that I thought I was going to do well in life.

And I don't even know how they, I mean, I wore dresses and I wanted to be a model. And, you know, their whole thing was like, I thought I was hot shit. That's what they would write. the bathroom on the wall or whatever and and and and I mean I mean maybe I was in like I think I was in like 10th grade 9th or 10th grade and they would follow me down the hallway and just kind of like throw things at me from the behind and like just sort of you know just kind of agitate me you know and I never went like home and told my mom or anything like that I wasn't even I was just I was It was, it was, I think about it now and I, you know, now that I have kids and I'm just like, wow, I'm kind of impressed of how I dealt with it. One day I was, you know, I'd go in the bathroom. They'd write things in like marker about me and stuff. And I didn't even know them. Like, like, you know, at lunch break, me and my best friend would sit in the sewing room, like pulling out pictures of like supermodels in the big magazines that you'd do the sewing things. And we'd make scrapbooks and we'd make vision boards.

and like I was like really you know I wasn't like super popular or anything you know I just I was I was not not popular but I was just kind of like I was friends with like everybody kind of thing you know yeah but you didn't let these girls bother you it sounds like you just kind of well no what happened was is that I was walking down the hallway in like a skirt and like clogs you know and like kind of it was probably pink or blue or something something they really didn't like and they were really taunting me and I remember thinking inside of myself, I would rather they beat the crap out of me right now than live another day with this feeling. And so I turned around and I said, let's go right now. Wait, you challenged these three girls to a fight? Yep. And what happened?

They walked away. What? Isn't that crazy? They walked away. Yeah. That would never happen to me. If I turned around and said, let's go, I'd be knocked out probably. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Maybe they were just more just getting off on just the power and not really wanting to execute it. Yeah, and I remember, like, I was shaking. I mean, I was terrified, but I was just like, let's go right now. Let's fight. And I'm in like a skirt, you know, and they're in jeans.

And you know what I mean? But I just was like, you know what? I can't live with this feeling. Like, are they around the corner? Are they behind me? Am I going to be walking to the bathroom? It was this sort of overwhelming feeling that I didn't, I decided in a moment, I didn't want it anymore.

And so if it meant that that we had to face it and work it out, and I was not like a fighter girl, I mean, except with boys when you're young and you're playing and you're like the girls against the boys, whatever, you know, but yeah, it was pretty brave. You buy a pair of socks. That's two socks. You buy a pair of bomba socks. that's four socks. Because one purchased is one donated. Sox are the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters. So when you buy a pair of super comfortable Bombas socks,

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even know the girl's name. I'll just say it. Honestly, I didn't know them at all. Like I didn't know them at all. Well, I remember this guy's name. Bryce, you could bleep it if you want, but his name was Davy Barnes. And he just would always kind of like, like you said, he was just like kind of throw an eraser at me or something. And I just said, you know, like, what the fuck, man? And I was really small, smallest kid in my high school and, you know, didn't start puberty to late.

Girls weren't into it. I just nothing. I was, I didn't exist, as my brother said. But that was with my family. He said, I didn't exist. but I didn't exist really in high school. And I remember, after health education class, I had my books. And this guy comes over and just, boom, knocks my books out of my hand.

And I just, I picked them up and kind of like, I said, dick. And then the next week, I walked at a class and he did it again. And I, the whole class I thought, I got to say something. I'm going to do something. I'm gonna and I just immediately went up to my go if you do that again I'm gonna fucking kick your ass don't fucking do that again I just screamed in his face yes whoa whoa like calm down but he never did it again he never did it again he could have kicked my ass but he just he just was yeah I guess it's no longer any fun when when the person that you feel power over goes I'm not doing

this anymore yeah I'm not playing this role anymore with you I'm changing the dynamic I mean, I'm not saying that that's what happened. I don't know. I really didn't think much of it until I, you know, until I had kids and, you know, and just realized, wow, like, that was pretty brave, you know. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah.

Interesting. Interesting to the dynamic. I think it's a lot different now. But I'm sure people get bullied still and, I mean, online and all that crazy, crazy stuff. Yeah. Was your dad? I don't know if you want to talk about it. Was your dad around or was he?

Yeah, I was raised by my stepfather until I was about 14 and my parents got divorced. But I actually didn't meet my real father until I mean, I knew him when I was a baby and then was reacquainted with him around 14. And then, yeah, and I'm close to my biological fathers now. Like, you know, we have a relationship. My stepfather passed away when I was 27, I think. Right. Is it, is it kind of my really, I have to say that when I think of my childhood, I think of my mom and my brother and I, you know, that was my like when you, you know, you think about your your core people. Like that's the image that I have in my mind. Did you have like a lot? I'm sure you weren't like immediately like, all right, we're, you know, when you're 14, he hasn't been really in the picture and you're saying, why weren't you around? Did you have all those questions? Well, yeah, I mean, I think I processed a lot of, um, of yeah, you process throughout your life. whatever it is. I think a lot of, I mean, you know, I don't think I was aware of it. I think

when I became, you know, started acting. I think acting is really part part of why a lot of us are drawn to it. You really do get to work out a lot of your own stuff through the work, which is kind of incredible. Obviously it can be hard if you're not, if you don't have a good groundedness in yourself. But yeah, I mean, I mean, I think I don't have those feelings anymore, you know, those feelings of abandonment or, or whatever I don't even really remember. And that's what I love about life, right, is that if you look at any opportunity, any situation in your life that's challenged you or that you have an emotional agitation toward, you have the opportunity to completely transform it and heal from it. And that's how I've grown in my life is I've looked at anything negative and felt the feelings,

gone through whatever I need to go through. And then I always ask myself, what can I learn? And that's to me like a super, like a super skill. Yeah. That really is. I mean, it's like real interesting too. It took me too long to sort of just accept, forgive, and just move on. And I think whether you like it or not, for me, I think that there's still that inner

child buried deeply in there that still feels certain things. And then as long as you could pinpoint and sort of, that's why I'm acting like that, or that's why I feel that way. That's not a real feeling. That's because you felt that as a kid. That's not now. And when I was able to forgive, you know, my parents and sort of through a lot of therapy and EMDR and all other things, but when I was able to do that, it was cathartic. It was certainly something that helped me. And I believe that when you forgive and you could truly get past something, that's the healing. That's the, that's when you start to feel better and, you know, all the, all the things that.

take over or feel like so overwhelming like anxiety and depression all these things they start to go away because a lot of them are caused by those feelings you know that you don't let go and you hold on and they're just so yeah i i understand that i think that's that's a beautiful way of looking at it like just seeing the bright side of things and things get dark and people have a lot a lot of dark shit but um yeah i think forgiveness is huge uh we haven't even talked about your career. Good God. But I like this. I told you. This is what I like to talk about. Um, so you started acting at a young age. Was your mom very cool about it? Like, yeah, this is what she wants to do. She wants to go be a model. When did you know you wanted to become an actor? Um, my whole life for

sure, like since I was really little. What was it? Huh? What was it about acting? Oh, well, I think, I mean, at the time, I thought it was just this divine calling, but now I think it was just because I watched so much TV, you know? Yeah. I grew up watching a lot of TV, and I think that it just sort of, like, permeated my being. And I wanted to be a storyteller, you know? I wanted to be a part of telling stories. And, you know, my mom was not supportive of me doing anything, like, as a young person.

Like, I was part of these, these, you know, dance troops and singing groups. But she said, when you're old enough to do. it on your own, then, you know, take yourself to an audition, but which is such good advice, and I highly recommend that to people with kids. It's better to wait. And then I just, yeah, I started modeling, I guess, when I graduated high school. I wasn't sure, like, how to be an actor. I didn't know what you do. I never knew. Well, I did know someone who was an actor because at my school, Michael J. Fox went to my school, which is crazy. Did you know it? Yeah, you might went to my elementary school. Well, he was older than me, but I knew of him. And of course,

there are so many Canadian actors now, but at the time, you also didn't know if people were Canadian, right? Because we didn't have Wikipedia or you didn't, you know, you didn't know someone's bio or whatever. So I, it just seemed kind of like an, like, I don't know, how do you do that? But my dream was pretty, the fire in me was pretty strong. Did you say, then go go continue yeah i always have questions that i'm thinking of ago yeah yeah and then i moved to um i moved to toronto to to model and i was modeling there and then i moved to i went to japan and then i moved to europe um and i um was in spain and modeling and stuff like that and then i had an audition when i was in spain for a tv show like an american tv show like a cbs crime time

after prime time kind of and i got like this little part that was was a regular role, like in Spain, like, what's the likelihood that would happen? And I was terrible in it. And then the next season was in L.A. And so I drove to L.A. and, you know, I had no money, no car, no green card, no, I got my side card from that show and I got a work visa from that show. But, I mean, I mean, I don't even know how I did it. I mean, how did we even book airline tickets back then? I have no idea. But without a credit card or whatever like was I going there with cash and like handing the cash I mean I have no clue um but I do know we were calling collect when we called home and then I came to LA and and and I was in LA

it was when I turned I was just turning 25 and um and I just started working a little bit just enough and then I got the matrix you know and I mean you did a lot of other stuff before that Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I did TV. I did, you know, I think I was just talking to a friend about this. I did Models Inc. when I was 26 or something, which was an Aaron Spelling show. And at the time, you know, like all those Aaron Spelling shows were so big. And I think that probably that show was the biggest learning curve and what set the tone for my whole career. Because the show was supposed to be huge. We did publicity before we got into the publicity. wheel before the show even shot a day of the show. And I always thought that was odd. And I never got caught in it, like believing it. That's good. And it, you know, it wasn't a successful show. We did one season. And I understood pretty early on that our business is very unpredictable. and I used this analogy a lot. I always looked at our business like a big fat alcoholic,

that charming, great, fun, but don't rely on it. And so I always had that attitude, and not in a negative way, but in a very kind of like, you know, I never really thought about how a show was going to do or a movie was going to do or I you know if it did really well like I enjoyed it but I didn't buy into any of it because I know how quickly it just like it's this right it's it's it's are you lucky are you you're lucky that you had sort of that subconscious I don't know inside or

whatever yeah really grateful it really served me really really well yeah I didn't have that I was like this is going to be huge I know it's going to be great it's like oh my god what happened why why this bomb is it because of me the reviews are bad i thought this was i thought this was going to make it yeah there's all those things so i'm it's amazing at that age that you could say okay you kind of learned from that show that yeah learned that that was so that was school for me i mean i think of life as school right we're cons we're in school learning about so many different facets of life and that was really amazing like i remember when the matrix came out and it was really huge. And I was with some friends. We were in like on a vacation somewhere. And I really

don't ever really do that. So it was kind of a big deal. And a few of the friends were like in the business and we're calling the phone line to find out the numbers. Like I didn't even know there were the numbers. Do you know what I mean? Like I certainly didn't know that you called some line to get the numbers. And they're telling me. And I'm like, okay, that's, that's cool. I mean, I don't know. I mean, you weren't excited or you were just like. No, I just didn't really buy into it. Incredible.

I think the only time that I got really excited about it was I went to a theater that wasn't a like premier theater where, you know, the applause and stuff like that. Like half the people in the room made the movie. And so it's really hard. It's not a gauge of, you know, you know, the truth. and I went to like Hollywood went into see the movie with an audience like a real audience and um and the response that that floored me that just floored me and and especially the lineup hadn't seen that since I was a kid going to movies and stuff and then you know within the first few minutes of the movie with people completely cheering for the character that I

played, I was just like, that moved my heart in a way that, like, that felt really amazing. But it wasn't like I was looking outside of myself for that validation. I just felt so good. And then to see all the conversations and stuff that people would have. And yeah, it was really cool. But I, I don't know, I just don't attach myself to the, to the outcome or the, or the end result of anything, because you just don't know.

You don't know. And as soon as you start to, you know, get your self-worth from those kinds of external things, your world becomes so difficult. Whereas if you stay in yourself and you know that you're enough, whether you're working or not working, whether your movie did great or it didn't do great. And the other attitude that I always have, and maybe this goes back. to the first story about Kristen is I, it matters to me the impact I have on an actual set as a human being with the crew, with the cast.

For me, if I look at every job that I've done, I probably wouldn't be able to tell you much about what it's about or, I mean, obviously Matrix and Memento probably, you know, some things, of course, because I've had to talk about them so much. But what I remember are the relationships I had with different crew members, different things that happened, babies that were born, you know, family members that died. Like, those are the things that I remember when I watch an, oh, yeah, I remember that day. That happened. Like, that matters to me. You are an anomaly. Do you understand this? No, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, you are an anomaly. I just, I am the opposite of that and in trying,

have tried and improved where I didn't get that validation at home. I didn't get that love. I didn't get that unconditional feeling that, you know, you had that you carried with you. And so I looked for external things. I looked for if I got this part. Uh, I'm good. It must be. I'm good. Everybody likes me. My agents are happy. People are happy. And then it's a success. And then, oh, it's a part, okay. But it's like, you know, I always say it's like. Yeah. And I had, I had moments of that too, um, especially in the beginning. And I just decided pretty early on that that was a really shitty way to live. Yep. It is. And so like, and to be honest, like I would have people that didn't really believe that this was genuine, like what I'm talking about because maybe they hadn't seen it. But I believed that if a job had my name on it, it was mine. And that I had to show up and do the work. But if it had your name on it, then that was your destiny. Like I brought this sort of larger view. Not only because I, it felt.

good to do that, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle the rejection and all of those things if I was holding on or, you know, I'm a very competitive person, but I'm not competitive in that way. Like if I want a job, like I want to get that job. But adding this layer of faith in my journey just, it just makes everything, it makes you so much more relaxed when you walk into the room. It makes you, because I've gone into rooms really wanting a job and thinking, you know, it's going to like, I need the money and, and, you know, people will think I'm good and, you know, all those things. It doesn't feel good. So I just was like, okay, so I want to do this. I'm here. I'm making enough money, you know, and I'm so lucky. I'm in that small percentage of people

who are actually making enough money to pay my bills and I don't have to have another job yet. but like how am I going to actually do this and keep doing it and I was like I'm going to have to crack this code I'm going to have to crack the code that if I'm on my couch and I'm not working that I know that I'm enough and that was not easy to do but it became the work yeah that's amazing yeah I would say do you I know you probably talked talked about this ad nauseum but Was The Matrix the most difficult job you've ever had to be at that point? But like physically, mentally, the amount of work, was it something you didn't expect in terms of preparation? You were like, I couldn't imagine the amount of work it actually was when you first signed on.

It was such a joy. Like every minute of it was such a joy that I think I did tougher movies that were like, you know, low budget in the winter in Toronto, cold. and like, you know, you know what I mean, like doing nights, like that's hard, right? The Matrix, of course, it was so much work, but we had so much support, which I had never had before. So we have, you know, you have your trainer and you have somebody making your food and you've got a driver and, you know, Keanu and I became very close through that process. He was very supportive and Lawrence was super supportive.

And Hugo, we had this family relationship that supported us. So I never think of it like, oh my God, that was. hard. Like I would go to work even when I didn't work just to watch because I didn't want to miss any of it, you know, because I was like, I've been watching Keanu or Lawrence or Hugo practicing that fight for four months. I got to go see it. I got to see what it looks like. I mean, and this was pre-being married and pre-having children. You know, I can't really do that anymore because, you know, I'll do it occasionally if there's something that I really want to see. But in general, I don't really i don't go to work anymore but i mean for like resurrections that just came out which is

freaking incredible i mean what how much harder if you look back when you were a lot you were you were you were younger when the first matrix came out how i mean how many years was 30 yeah and now doing this how much harder for you to tackle this immense project again we had the support and um and i was just so excited about doing it um there was a lot of mental preparation that had to go into some of the action um the actual physical action you know i didn't do a heck of a lot um um so you know it was it was different um but i was just so happy to be a part of it because i just didn't see that coming you know i think of myself as pretty intuitive i have really good like you know senses and like that

really shocked me yeah and people were always saying that they thought that it would happen i was like no way like that is never happening so i was really shocked was there was there did you really have three hours to uh of an audition process or training for an for the audition for the original matrix oh my gosh i had way more than that um i think i did about six auditions for that and one of the pieces of the audition was three hours of fighting was action one part of it was that was you know getting with the wire team, the, you know, the Hong Kong team masters. And they would just sort of go through the motions and, you know, videotape the person and just, you know, punching, kicking, doing this, doing that.

And I remember it always made me laugh that the directors said that when they got my video, they were like, you know, every time they would kind of cut back to the guy that I was fighting, he was patting himself up more and more and more. I was actually hitting the guy. And like I didn't know about like you don't, you know, hit. I mean, I mean, I don't know how to do that. So I was just, you know, I could not walk. The next day I had an acting audition for it.

It was pre going to do like the screen test with Keanu. Ever wonder how dark the world can really get? Well, we dive into the twisted, the terrifying, and the true stories behind some of the. world's most chilling crimes. Hi, I'm Ben. And I'm Nicole. Together we host Wicked and Grim, a true crime podcast that unpacks real-life horrors,

one case at a time. With deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink to take the edge off, we're here to explore the Wicked and Reveal the Grim. We are Wicked and Grim. Follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform. I was with the directors and I'm sitting in the chair doing like one of the big scenes of like waking him up, I think, at the end of the movie. And I did it one time.

And the directors, I think it was actually my birthday, my 30th birthday. And the directors asked me if I could stand up. And I said, I actually can't, you know. And you think about it, right? You're up for a big movie. You do anything. Right? Like, I actually couldn't.

Like, I was in so much pain in places in my body that I didn't even know, like, that you had muscles there you know it was intense wow did you know that was there someone else in the in the running with you i mean i didn't know i mean now you hear everybody was up for it it's like kind of funny me my husband will go oh some so they were up for it i didn't i wasn't privy to any of that and and you know they let me know i was i think they had like a week to tell me after the screen test you know you sign everything right just like if you're doing a series or whatever, right? And so they had a week to tell me. And then come that Friday, they asked for another week. Because I think they really didn't want me and think the directors

were really fighting for me. I really didn't think I was going to get that. Like, again, though, I trusted, like, if my name's on it, my name will be on it, like, how great it is just to, you know, have the auditions. And I met, you know, Keanu and we had such a lovely connection and I just felt like, wow, this is, this is turning my career, whether I get this or not because I'm experiencing something that I have never experienced. And that energy will, I'll take with me to the next thing or whatever. I really did not think in a million years that I would ever get it. Yeah. I was completely shocked. Completely shocked. That's amazing. I worked with Kano and I did a movie called Sweet November and I was in drag and I worked with them for a couple

weeks and every day. I mean, I honestly, when people ask me about Keanu, I'm like, I have these videos that I still have that I'd never even watched again of like us on set. And I'd come in and drag it. I go, hello, Kian, too. You know, and he'd be like, hello. How are you? Good to see you. And I was like, and we would talk about stuff. And he'd, you know, always tell me about the movies. And he was just like, such a great guy. I'm not. I'm not even sugar-coding it. It was like I had nothing, his work ethic. Like, he just wants to be the best that he can be.

And he wants to put as much into it. And that's, I only worked with him two weeks. You've known him practically 20-something years. And like, I mean, you've probably said it a million times. But what's the one thing that you think of when you think of, Kano? Oh, gosh. I mean, he's such a good person. and, you know, good person seems so silly.

He's so thoughtful, you know, he really supported me through that process, and we were definitely partners in the evolution of that journey. And, yeah, I couldn't imagine it any other way than, you know, he just was so supportive and such a good friend. we still are such good friends and he was really thoughtful and he works really hard so you you have a vision of the bar and that inspires you you know he inspires me even now i went off and i'm doing i did this um star wars show and i have a big fight in it acolyte and yeah and after having just worked with keanu again like in resurrections um i felt in a way

Like, I channel, I could feel, you know, because I didn't have him there to like feel that motivation, right? And I had a really incredible experience getting ready for that fight. It was really hard at first. You know, there's kind of a process of fighting. And I really loved it, actually. It was really, it really was, you know, after the initial couple, couple weeks of, you know, learning choreography, you're sore, you're learning choreography, you can't remember. It's like, oh, my God, how am I ever going to do this? and then the third week it started to click in and then and you know three weeks I'm used to having three months you know to to fight and and then you get on on set and that magic happens

and um with the biting and I really loved it actually it's really fun but he definitely like I would feel him kind of like his energy my time with him um his words how I know him what I've scene about him what were with me um through the process because it was I was on my own you know I didn't have my my my bestie over there you know like good you can do it or whatever I just channeled it which is kind of fun did you ever did you ever call him during that and just say hey I you know and tell him that or did you just you yeah let him know yeah I tell him you did yeah great carry in that's great I appreciate that you have you have you have you have like you have you do these things with someone you know you go through things with other people

and that whatever it is right in our lives with friends with colleagues with family members good bad whatever you know it it it informs you and impacts you and yeah he's definitely impacted me in a very positive way was it overwhelming working with christopher nolan on memento was that was that oh no not at all that was like he was so such a gentleman and he was so um that was such an incredible i really as an actor that was my favorite job i've ever done um because you know that feeling that you have which i have felt in acting class but is very hard to get between action and cut where you forget that you're acting yeah it's rare you know and it's like you get i mean i've maybe

had it, I would say on screen like two or three times. You know, it's that, it's that fleeting, right? It's that fleeting, you know, where you forget, you just didn't it. And he created that energy. And I really love that. Like Trinity, for instance, like I love her. It was challenging to play her because she's so still. And every movement, it's like, you know what I mean? It's so upright. It's so, you know. Centered.

There's this quality of stillness with her. That isn't really my, like, I have to, like, had to put a lid on, like, every little thing and at the same time access the life, right? And that's, you know, at times I would feel completely, like, just, the mark on the floor, just the tea that we stand on, like, I would feel like that was jail, you know what I mean? Like, I just like, it was like, can I not have a tea? Like, I mean, I literally was like that.

Like, can we take the middle tea out? Like, I'm already confined enough. I need the mental bandwidth to like channel something, right? And of course, the directors are so brilliant and the shots are so brilliant, you know? But with, with memento, like, and as I'm moving my body, I can just feel like how free I felt. There was a freedom in the acting that I really enjoy. I like that.

Like I love like 70s, 80s movies, right? I like that naturalism and that. A shop that holds the actors and lets them breathe and act and it's not so many cuts. Right. I love that. Me too. Of the moments. I love not knowing what's happening.

So I really got to have that experience with Christopher Nolan. And he was not intimidating. I, I, that's like a word I would never imagine to use for him. I love that. I mean, that shows you, that shows you the confidence in a director when they're like, they don't, it doesn't have to be this. It just, I want you to feel what you're feeling. I want.

He really stepped back. He created the environment and then Guy and I just were like dancing. Like it was really, it was really fascinating. You know, you did all that work on that really great script and, and then really allowed us. the space to have the freedom i love that's how i felt anyway yeah i love guy pierce yeah me too i think he's the best part of uh la confidential i think he's like the best in everything he does i i just am engaged and uh i'm i'm straight but i think he's hot he's a hot guy he's an amazing actor he's a very good i remember at the time and not that it matters right

like awards who cares but like i was really surprised that he he he didn't yeah receive that for those kinds of accolates because he was so good yeah he always you know who knows who knows how all that all that you've won a lot of awards by the way huh you've won a lot of awards who did you really yeah yeah i mean i've won a couple of them but you know and i won one for that like my spirit award which i was completely shocked about like but i think about it now i'm like why wasn't he there like that's weird yeah anyway we know how all that step goes now and and yeah do you have awards do you have awards like at your house or do you just not even yeah i got i got a few and i kind of don't know what to do with them um i was actually the only reason i'm actually thinking about it right now

is because i have an office up here and i was like it's kind of like it's it's a loft space it's really got a great vibe. It has no door. And it's kind of, it's kind of tricky. Like, you hit your head, like on the, on the wall, on the ceiling a lot. And I have a lot of books. Like, I love books. And I have a few of these, um, these awards. And I was like, what do you do with them? Like, where do you put up? I got my Saturn award up there. My friends make fun of me. They're like, yeah, where's your Uranus Award? I'm like, shut up. All right, bad joke. All right. This is called shit talking with Carrie Ann Moss. These are my top tier patrons. They just ask quick questions. It's rapid fire.

so go to patreon.com slash inside of you support the podcast thank you um okay Nathan j with daredevil being revived any chance we'll see you once again in the MCU Marvel universe I don't know who'd you do it haven't heard anything sure I love playing um Jerry Hogarth she was fun Niko P what was your experience like on the TV show Chuck I just talked to Zach and I go what do you have to say text me goes she's insanely talented and gorgeous, and I completely geeked out on that show when she arrived. I had a lot of fun. Again, that was a job that I, like a job was shot in L.A.

And it was the first time I'd gone to work since I'd had kids. Like, it was sort of like a tryout. Like, could I do it? I went to work and I was like in shock. Like everyone's on their phones, right? On the set. Like, like I just literally felt like I had stepped into like the weirdest. Like the whole world change.

But that was fun. I enjoyed that. He's really talented. Yvonne. So good. Yeah, that's great. Leanne, who was the one person that believed in you when no one else did and have you ever paid it forward? Oh, well, my mom was always believed in me.

And I have to say that anyone who didn't gave me a gift because it fueled me. Yeah. And have I paid it forward? I hope so. Yeah, I think you're paying it forward right now talking to me, telling me, telling me, about all these things. I just want like, I'm like, oh, maybe the first thing I could do selfishly is go, I think Carrie Ann Moss can help me. I, uh, okay. So you're, are you're still, you're the founder of Annapurna Living, right? Yeah. And which is so cool, it's a lifestyle brand designed to empower

women through mindfulness, meditation, and devotion. Um, how often, how much do you work on that? And what, what do you do? And is there anything that we can do out there? Is there a, or, like the organization to donate, or is it just kind of just informing them how to live a better life? It's a labor of love for me. I actually have offerings that I do. Like I've done different courses. I'm doing sort of a monthly, yearly thing right now, which is all about crossing

thresholds. And we are, yeah, I let what I do there is something that I do sometimes in the car while I'm waiting for my daughter. I make videos. I've made a lot of content because when I was, you know, having my kids, it started out kind of mother-centered. Now it's not so much. It's just really more woman-centered and about like connecting to yourself and not looking outside of yourself for the answers and not thinking like somebody else is going to like tell you how to live your life, that you have all the answers, like just bringing women back home to like knowing that they're enough and that that no one else knows them better than themselves.

and that, yeah, you may need support and help here and there, but ultimately, if that support and help is not helping you to go back home into your own self, then it's not really helping. You know what I mean? So we have conversations on different themes. I've done this for seven years. I used to hold a monthly call kind of like a circle. Now I do it only four times a year, but I did it every month on the full moon for almost seven years. Even when I was promoting the matrix, like I had all these women and we would just talk

about like the messiness of life and like, listen, I don't have it figured out. I'm not an expert, but I'm sure like into like exploring and we use poetry, we use writing prompts just to connect because the life is, life is so distracting and there's so much pull from the self and into like all these different, you know, labels and like, you did that and arguments and like sides. It's like, we need people who like are connected to themselves. And when you're connected to yourself, you know what you need and you know how to show up. And so that's what I do. And yeah, it's been a real labor of love for me. It's made me grow a lot and making all the videos and stuff and holding space. I love to hold space for other people's growth.

Not because I know the answer, but I know how to hold space. Ontario, the wait is over. The gold standard of online casinos has arrived. Golden Nugget Online Casino is live. Bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class gaming experience right to your fingertips. Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting. Signing up is fast and simple.

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or to match with a TD small business banking account manager. I love doing that. So it's something that I'm not afraid of. I'm not afraid of that. So I've just, I decided when I started on for a living that I was sort of tired of like being hired for a job that I wanted to produce my own stuff. I want to make my own videos.

It was like, my videos in the beginning, like, were with my iPhone on the kitchen floor because it was the only quiet place with terrible lighting. And like, and I'd go, oh, that's really, you know, that looks kind of crappy. And I was like, that's the myth I want to bust. Like, that's what I want to like, you know, like I do a video because I taught meditation a lot in the beginning. I don't really do that anymore. But I'd be like, oh, I should really redo that, get into better light.

And I'd be like, I don't want to lie. And then, you know, women would comment, oh, Carrie Ann looks really tired. And I just wouldn't even engage in that conversation. That's freaking so awesome. Like I just, I refuse to engage in the conversation and just get people used to seeing, like, real people. Like, I'm a householder. I'm a mom. I'm making this video, you know, in my living room or wherever.

I don't have, I'm pushing the button myself. I'm editing it might I'm not I didn't edit it because I don't know how to do that but you know my one person that works with me you know I love that I didn't I didn't want it sleek I didn't want it to look great like I just wanted it to be like real but that's what it always is that's what you know you spend your time on you don't but proverbial you on on Instagram and you're looking at these things and oh my God that's beautiful and look at that this is look where they are and it's all the sun and the light. and oh my god everybody's got a better life and it's like stop live your life it's all a lie and by the way what even if it's not a lie it's not yours it's not your life live your own make your own life beautiful that's what i keep trying to tell myself yeah i mean when i i remember when i was in con and matrix was at con and i was pregnant with my first son and i'm at that really fancy la cap hotel or whatever you know and i remember being there and going well this is really pretty But this is not what makes a life.

And I looked around, you know, I mean, throughout my years in Hollywood, and I know really great people. I've never, I've had such a blessed experience in Hollywood with people that I've met and my experiences and everything. But I was like, you know, being successful in having money is never going to, you know, heal those places inside. And of course, it's so cliche. We know that.

But I was like, I can't wait to go home. I think I left that press junket early because I was really pregnant. I just needed to be home, you know? And I just, and it wasn't like I was there going, oh, my God, I'm freaked out. It's this or that. I just could see through it. You know what I mean? And I'm not impressed by all of that.

It's lovely. I love a good hotel. I love a good bed in a hotel. I love, you know, coffee being brought to me. Like, you know, I do love all of that. But if, you know, your actual life, like, you know, if you can't find the joy in the mundane, you're totally fucked. You're totally fucked because most of your life will be mundane.

So I decided I was going to love that. And I do. Like, I love the mundane. That doesn't mean there aren't times when I'm like, I have to unload the dishwasher a fucking another time. Like, right? But then I go, okay. hey, this is my life, loading the dishwasher, unloading the dishwasher, making the dishes,

cleaning, doing, driving, working, flying, organizing, all of these things are facets of my life. And I consciously decide to enjoy that. And I have little tricks that I use to encourage that way of thinking. And that's, I've been committed to that. Can you email me those thoughts? Sure. Uh, look, I'm not going to keep you anymore. This has been so, me, you are, you're the real deal.

And honestly, in the beginning, you know, you hear, you know, people, you interview and you talk to and you're like, you know, it doesn't affect me. It doesn't. And you're like, eh. And then, but after talking to you, it's like, this is who you are. And it's such a beautiful, it's just a beautiful way to be to live. And I think everyone should try and do that. I think you just, you're real. you're you're as real as it gets christian said it and uh it's so much insight you don't even know

that you gave me like it's it's therapy for me but like for people listening you know i could sit here and ask you oh what's the number one thing that you would say uh for mental health or what would you do well there's there's a lot of things you could do you know one is disconnect and meditation and um i just i really enjoyed this this has been a real treat you're a treasure and I'm so glad you made this happen. Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having me. My pleasure.

Yeah. Well, I wish you the best. And maybe you're on Instagram and all that, right? I don't actually, I have someone that manages that I don't enjoy Instagram at all. I have to say I was on there recently because a friend of mine is kind of going through something and we're raising money for him. And I was kind of looking at it without the sound and without even reading. And when I was on Instagram a few years ago, it was people take pictures and right now it's just like talking, talking, talking, people are talking, talking, talking, and I'm not even listening to the words. I'm not even reading. But I can feel the frequency of it is really, really low. And affecting, you know, because I believe in frequency and energy, how toxic that is. And I'm, seriously, like, I have no idea what anyone was saying. They could have been saying. the most incredible things. There's just this manicness, right? Because you're scrolling from

person to person. I just, I, so I, I do have a presence there, but I honestly, I don't, I don't do it. And of course, it would really help my antipurnal living if I would do that. But at this moment in time, I just, there's, it's, it's like everything I'm teaching or sharing, because I don't consider myself a teacher, but everything I'm sharing is the exact opposite. So it's kind of tricky like how do you promote something where you have to go into the into the portal that's actually creating this dysfunction to start with yeah did you say portal did you say portal yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no you're right i get i get i can't quite reconcile that with my integrity and yet i do have a presence there because you know and and i'm and i'm not saying that i won't go on

and i'm not trying to be like holier than now i just don't I don't enjoy it. Yeah. So I'm trying to find different ways, you know, doing podcasts are great too. You know, I've been on lots of different podcasts. I do enjoy talking to people and, and I would rather do that kind of thing than, you know, I it's interesting because at Anapurna living, what I'm saying is that your life is not for sale.

There's nothing to buy, right? So how can I sell something, market something that is just basically telling someone. there's nothing you need to buy to be better. Wow. Including my course or anything I'm doing. Like, you have it in you. So, you know, I'm fine in my way. It's fun.

It's a labor of love. Well, keep shooting on shitty quality. Keep, you know, keep it real. And you definitely don't look old. So that woman, you should block her. And when this comes out, I'll send you stuff. And if you want to post it, great. It's just good for, I just think it's good for people that.

Yeah. All that stuff. I'm just not really good at all. all that stuff. Kristen's great at it. I'm a little bit more like, I don't know how to do half of it. And I'm going to slow down because I think it's going to help me. You're the best.

Thanks for, thank you. It's a pleasure. Have a great day. Thanks for having me. Reading, playing, learning. Stellist lenses do more than just correct your child's vision. They slow down the progression of myopia.

So your child can continue to discover all the world has to offer through their own eyes. Light the path to a brighter, future with Stellist lenses for myopia control. Learn more at SLOR.com and ask your family eye care professional for SLR Stellist lenses at your child's next visit. There, there she was. Carrie Ann Moss, Carrie Ann, I just want to say thank you for being on the podcast. I think you're terrific. You're a wonderful human being and a wonderful actress. And thank you for being here. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Fun times, Jason. Great times. Great times. Great times, fun times. If you didn't listen to the intro go back there's tons of information about where i'm going to be i'm also on the cameo uh join patron

patreon patreon dot com slash inside you p a t r eon dot com slash inside of you uh become a patron today i'm about to read out the top tiers of the patron they get their name shatted out at the end of every episode um that was a really wonderful episode so uh thanks for listening i've been having problems with my dog charled kind of problem my puppy well i think he's got separation anxiety he's been fine he's never chewed up anything except a nibble on a pillow or you know little things that i'm like all right he's a dog i don't you know sure i uh i was downstairs and i heard him whining and we were just downstairs i was alphabetizing my DVD collection who has DVDs i do still and um i came back up probably 30 minutes later and he had chewed a whole piece of the stair carpet off

insane and then uh you know i just i didn't you know obviously i don't hit my dog but i yelled at him And I put his face in it and said, no, he saw the mess everywhere and, you know, and he felt shame. And then I thought that'd be the end of it. I sprayed bitter apple on it so he wouldn't chew it again. And then I went out for two and a half hours. I came home and he had ripped up the rest of it. Wow. Determined to destroy.

Yeah. And so I'm not sure what exactly to do. So I'm going to get a trainer involved. And, yeah, you can't have your puppy destroying your house. It just doesn't. No, I gave him a home. I gave him a wonderful home to live and I treat him like a king and he shits on me. What does he do?

He shits on me. But, you know, they're puppies. What are they going to do? What are they going to do? Yeah. And you can't punish him an hour later when he doesn't know what the hell he did. No, they can't exactly think too rationally. I hate that excuse where it's like, he doesn't remember his brain is the pee.

I'm like, no, no, he knows what he did. He still feels shame. He's in the corner going, looking at me like, are we cool? Are we cool? Yeah, they have the same look, humans. Yeah. you know what you did yeah i'm not gonna go for that i'm like i look at him i'm like i don't don't come over to me i don't want to touch you i'm not petting you right now unfortunately

you can't have a prolonged discussion about it with him where you really break down how it hurts you yeah because you really hurt my feelings ultimately the brains are piece i work hard to make this house look nice so you could live in it i give you endless amounts of toys and treats yeah hoping didn't hear that uh anyway thanks for listening uh all my love jason thanks again for being here uh what can i say yeah you can say whatever you want great be here yeah i know a little secret that we talked about before but i won't say anything about you and your life oh shit i'm not going to mention it okay your girlfriend went listen no well maybe she might hear me editing this oh yeah so we'll stop now when was that about i'll tell you uh thank

you uh that's about it we're going to give the shout outs these are the top tier patrons these are folks that give extra to the show which make it makes it possible for me to do it To do the show, here they are. I love you all. Nancy D. Leah S and Kristen K. They're now a duo. Usually it was just Leah S and Kristen K.

Now it's Leah S and Kristen K. I'm sure one day, Kristen, I want to be first. Hey, Kristen. Thanks for the birthday wishes. Little Lisa. Hi, little Lisa. Yukiko.

Jill E. Brian H. Nico P. Robert B. Jason W. Sophie M. Roj. C. Joshua D. Jennifer N. Stacey L. Stacey's mom. we did this last time. Says his mom's got it going on. Jamal F.

Janelle Beam like E L Dan Supremo. Hi, Dan. Hi, Mike, Janelle. 99 more has always been there. Santiago M. Where's my statues? I love you, buddy. Chad W.

Leanne P. Maddie S. Belinda and Dave Hall. Hey, Dave. Dave, nice to see you, Dave. Hi, Dave. Dave. We love you, Dave.

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Estevan G. Klee. J. Brian A. Ashley F. Marion Louise L. Jason Malkin. Romeo B. Veronica Q. Frank B. Gen T. Nikki L. April R. Cassie B. I was, I'm not on the Patreon.

But thank you to those who are. Could you imagine you giving me like money every month? to be work with me twisted that'll be weird wild stuff weird wild stuff from the holiday holiday world from the hollywood hills in hollywood california i am micha rosembaum i'm jason nielken in here for rain tears in here for ryan tears yes uh we'll wait to the camera we love you guys thank you so much for your support and um be good to yourself be good to yourself do you say be good to yourselves or be good to yourself you're talking to the the viewer Be good to yourself.

Yeah. All right. Hi, I'm Joe Sal C. Hi, host of the Stackin' Benjamins podcast. Today, we're going to talk about what if you came across $50,000. What would you do? Put it into a tax-advantaged retirement account. The mortgage.

That's what we do. Make a down payment on a home. Something nice. Buying a vehicle. A separate bucket for this edition that we're adding. $50,000. I'll buy a new podcast. You'll buy you.

friends. And we're done. Thanks for playing everybody. We're out of here. Stacking Benjamin's follow and listen on your favorite platform.