Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - How I Met Your Father’s JOSH PECK: Happy People Are Annoying

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Josh Peck (How I Met Your Father, Drake & Josh) joins us this week to give a glimpse into the amazing, film-worthy stories he has inside his new book “Happy People Are Annoying.” Josh shares everything from the thought of having to grieve what he never had after the loss of his father, to the truth behind the media storm fallout that came from his wedding day and those who didn’t get invited. We also talk about the idea of endless voids that we try to fill with vices, his experience as a child stand up comic, and how the difference between public opinion and what goes on behind the scenes within a cast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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dot com you're listening to inside of you with michael rosenbaum how are you today i hope you're uh doing well ryan are you all right i'm doing okay yeah doing okay i'm a little under the weather today you you've assured me it's not covid so we're okay i got tested yesterday for covid and it wasn't covid but uh just like a head cold or a sinus thing something going on i got a teller tellable i got a terrible allergy attack uh because the weather changed drastically isn't it the worst I just want nothing worse than feeling like shit just feeling off oh my god and it's all on your face yeah I had to interview someone today but that went fine I went well but I was uh you know at some points I was just like oh my god but uh you survived got a great guest today we'll get into that

in just a minute but I want to thank everybody for coming to the shows the stage it shows again I want to say you know uh on March 5th we had two shows and we did really well a lot of people showed And thank you for supporting my band, Sunspin. And also, if you want to follow the podcast, it means a lot. Thank you, by the way, for spending your afternoon with us or just an hour with us a week. It's not asking much, but there are a lot of choices. And you choose to be here, and I really appreciate that. So thank you.

What are the handles for our podcast, Ryan? They're at Inside of You Pod on Twitter, at Inside of You podcast on Instagram and Facebook. That's absolutely right. And there's also an Inside of You Online Store. If you want to go to that, just go to the Inside of You Online Store. we got great stuff like smallville signed lunch boxes from tom and myself uh inside of you mugs tumblers all a bunch of stuff just go look at it there's a lot of great stuff on there also a big shout out to all my patrons uh they give the give back to the podcast in many ways and if you go to patreon

p a t r e o n dot com slash inside of you you can join the wonderful family there's different tiers and things you get for me and youtube lives and all this stuff and i will uh assume you you join i will send you a message thanking you inside of you it's called it's patreon dot com slash inside of you and uh i appreciate you listen i appreciate you write in the review if you like the show uh today's guest is uh you know i didn't really know much about him i didn't know much about josh peck and uh he's got a big following you know he talks about being a child actor and how how he had to grow out of that and uh just you know being on drugs and And he was very open and honest.

He has a new book out. And I really enjoyed having him on. Wasn't he, wasn't he fun? He was good. He was. And I think you're going to really enjoy this one. So let's get inside of Josh Peck. It's my point of view.

You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of studio audience. I know Ryan. Do you? Yeah, Ryan. Reynolds? No, I'm not that fancy. Ryan Philippi? I had, I saw him at a fancy L.A. eatery once. Felipe. And the worst, the worst part was my mom got there first. So I walk in and I see her talking to Ryan Philippe. He's with his beautiful children. Right. And my mom, as I walk in goes, you know my son, he's famous too. And I'm like, oh God, mom. Your mom did that. This is the worst intro ever.

Oh, man. Is your mom Jewish? I think that's safe to say. I'm a Jew. So my mom would do that shit. It's all the same. My grandma would do that shit. She feels the urge to anywhere we are.

And it's been years, I mean, like, the people she's talking to probably don't know Smallville, you know, or whatever or some things that I've done. And she'll go into a restaurant and the waitress will come over, a server. You can't say a waitress anymore. I don't know what the fuck you could say anymore. I can't say anything. I just shut my mouth because I just say the wrong thing all the time. Same year. inadvertently. But, you know, the server will come and go, oh, can I get you some men? She's like,

my son's famous. My grandson, he's famous. She's like, great. And it's not for you. Like, it could be confused as like pride. It's not. It's all self-serving for them. It is, isn't it? Yeah. It's for them. It's for them to feel good. It's, my mom knows it makes me viscerally at my deepest level uncomfortable. Do you say anything to her? Every time, almost every time. Big fights over it. Really? Yeah. Like literally, especially when it's when I'm having rough times and she's like pitching me like I've got a new show coming out. I'm like, I haven't worked in 19 months, haven't had a call back in 11 months. Not looking good for me. Might have to go, you know, find a real job. And she's like, no, no, you got the magic. And people know. I'm like, ma, don't do this. When I'm around you, I feel bad about me. So when I'm around you, I feel bad about me. Is that in your book? Should be. It should be.

Yeah. I like that. I mean, you've got a story, man. You know, what I like is that you see where you come from and, you know, obviously Drake and Josh and how I met your father's on Hulu now and social influencer and all these movies, Turner and Hooch and Red Dawn and like, you've done so many things. And then you write a book. It's like, it's never enough.

Josh has to be an author. Yes. And it's author of happy people. people are annoying, which is a great title. Thank you. That's a really great title because happy people are annoying. Yeah. How are they annoying to you?

Well, I just, I always think, but the first thing when I think that, I think of when I'm out and I'm single, I'm lonely. And then you see a couple and they're laughing and giggling. And I'm like, oh, fuck them. Fuck them. But that's not right. Because why should you be like that way about other people? You want other people to be happy.

But it says something about yourself in a lot of ways, doesn't it? Oh, yeah. Someone said to me the other day, he's like, I don't like, forced fun, which is why I don't go to Coachella. Anyone who's capable of forced fun, like, we're like, we're going to go to the new Harry Potter thing at Universal Studios. And I'm like, unironically, and they're like, yeah, butter beer. I'm like, I don't get you. They're hyped. I don't understand you. Do you think, I mean, look, we'll get into it. But overall, do you think, because I can answer this. Are you a happy person? Do you feel like you

are happy. You've gone through a lot in your life. But overall, when you wake up and you look in the mirror and you're by yourself and there's nobody around you, can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and look at your reflection? Go, I like you. I love you. I'm happy. I think so. I mean, the conceit of the book is like where I started it was throughout most of my life. I'd look at people who are inherently happy or at least exuding what looked like happiness. And I thought, oh, like happiness is reserved for quarterbacks and cheerleaders. and like people who have like inherited money and people with six packs and like all these things. And I figured that everyone had been handed a manual for life at birth that I was just not

privy to. Like I didn't get that. Right. So I was resentful. I was like, no, it's I, you know, things affect me too deeply. I'm too sensitive, too analytical, too neurotic for this world. Right. So I would look at these people and just be like, oh, you don't get it. Like you're, you're humming at this weird level that I'll never be at but like where I'm at feeling the feelings this is life this is real exactly that's there's something truthful about that I mean I think you know I was a short kid I was the shortest kid in my high school I didn't start puberty till late I was you know I was picked on I was not popular and going through high school I would just look around me and going God I wish I was that guy I was all envy it was like I wish I was that guy I wish I was the quarterback I wish I had that

girl i wish i can get that if that girl just gave me the chance you'd see how funny and sweet i was but i'll never get that chance they're happy i want to be like them yes that's always the feeling but i don't believe that anybody's truly happy i think we're all trying to like you said something about being content what is that you said about being content it was a quote or something in your book about being content and that's that's with yourself just saying i am good enough it's like that that saturday night life thing what was uh i'm good enough i'm smart enough and god damn it what does he say yeah yeah yeah people like and people like me yes but you know it's sort of like hey this is me this is what i've got and there's these personal traits these personal

things that these these things that we do that we just try to escape like this makes i'm annoyed at myself i i don't think you know i'm like why would anybody want to be my friend why would anybody don't want to talk to me. Why would anybody want to, you know, and you start to think that that's who you are and you try to escape it. You try to push it away. Yes. I'll have a cooler personality. I'll be cooler. I'll be quiet. I'll be this. But your real self comes out. It just comes out, right? Yeah. I mean, to your point, like that, it took me so long to learn the duality of ego and being self-centered. And I used to think, much like quarterbacks, like if you're self-centered or your egotistical like that's reserved for high achievers um and then someone would tell me like hey if you spend

all day thinking about how great you are or how awful you are you're only thinking about you you're self-centered wow and i was like oh that too i'm also self-centered oh good but it's true like i think like the ego and and i can only speak for myself but my mind wants me separate from like it doesn't want me to be a worker amongst workers. It either wants me to be like, I'm somehow pleased with a performance of mine. And I'm like, well, this verifies my suspicion that I'm the best. I'm the fucking man. Or 90% of the time, I'll see something I dislike or anything, you know, anything can trigger it. Something doesn't work out. And I go, I knew it. This is but a preview of more bad to come. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And my mind just wants me all alone instead of being like, yeah,

highs and lows. That's life. You know, me and the next guy. How hard are you on yourself? Do you think you've let up a little bit? Do you think you, over the years, you've just become more like, hey, I'm going to be better to myself. Because I think that's really important to just be good to yourself, to give yourself a break to say I'm not perfect, to say I'm not, I'm not all these things, but I am all these things.

And, you know, are you hard on yourself? I am, but I, to your point, yeah, like I'm 35. You're 35? Yeah. You look young. Thanks, I thought maybe you were like 26. Ryan? What'd you think? I read his...

I read the Wikipedia. No, I knew him. My man. See, Brian and his research. Ryan has his wiki. Research Ryan over here. No, but also he walked in and I looked you in the face. I was like, oh, that's someone around my age. Because that rarely happens in here. Oh. Are you...

I'm 33, but I'm about to turn 34. And you look great too, right? Thanks, man. You got grays? We both have dark hair. I got a lot of grays. Yeah, it's a dark hair. No, I mean, they're coming in. I got to cut my head and then...

See, right now, I'm looking at both of you and listening to both you. and thinking, fuck off. Because I'm going to be 50 in a few months. And you have no gray hairs, though. Why, I have gray hairs right here. That's it. Right on my chin. And a great, I mean, great head of lettuce over there.

So far. They care. Why, you get gray hairs? Oh, yeah. You do. Do you diet? No, they're here. I just, I kind of put some gel in, so it helps, like, tone it.

What should I say? Pommade, sure. You know, I just was wondering what you used. Cream? That was a cream. Cream. Whatever's been sent to me for free. Like, I feel like, the.

one thing you get as an actor of any sort of like you could either be an Oscar winner or you know on infomercials you can probably get free hair products yeah that's true I'll get you know a couple things of gel a year and be like well once these are done I guess I'll go and buy some at ride aid what's the coolest free shit you've gotten oh I got a car for a couple months they let me borrow a car was this the GM was it well they did I remember I had some friends that got three cars for while and I never was that guy I never got that I might when my wife was pregnant I made because I was doing a lot of social media and YouTube stuff so I made this video where I told my friends like where I would tell them that she was pregnant and catch the reactions and it's just like this feel

good thing and it was beautiful because a lot of people saw it and a lot of baby brands were like need a stroller and I was like in fact I do strollers are expensive as hell so I got the stroller and a few other things and Acura randomly emailed and was like need a car for the first couple months with your new kiddo. And I was like, who am I had to turn down Accura? Parent Company of Honda. I'm in. Accura gave him a free car. But then, Hard Body Karate, I hope you're listening, Accura. They, like, hit us up randomly, like, somewhere two and a half months in and was like, we're taking it back tomorrow. I'm like, no planning, no heads up, Accura.

Just we want it back. Yeah. We're over you. You didn't post enough. Is that what it was? Probably. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's the thing. Hey, do me a favor. Take me back to, take me back to childhood. Take me back to when you were a kid because, you know, I used to complain. Everybody complains about their parents. And it's just like, you know, my dad's this. He's not affectionate. He doesn't say, I love you. He doesn't. He's not, you know, he's not really present. My mom's this. She's off the wall. She's this. Everybody complains and everybody's got it worse. Some people have it worse. And people, there's always people out there that have it worse.

Totally. I look at your life and I'm like, your father wasn't there. And your mother raised you. And that had to be hard as fuck for a little kid. yes can i say fuck on the podcast can you can i ryan it's your own podcast all right sure yeah i say so thanks yeah yeah yeah but you know it just i look at that i'm like right away i'm like wow i'm i'm sort of like i feel for you like you didn't have that father figure and talk to me about that how how was that pretty tough i you know i didn't know i didn't miss what i had never had so i i talk about this in my book and it's it's much like we were we were talking about like my biggest issue with life and God in the universe was just how different I was. Like, I didn't have a dad. I was

fat. Like, I was a musical theater kid. It wasn't good at sports. Single mom. Like, we were just, we were so terminally unique at a time where you don't want, like, you just desperately want to fit in. Even like, you know, there's no, there's not really Jew heroes when you're eight. Like, there was like Sandy Kofax, but that's before my time. You're like, yeah, I know we got Einstein, but it's not really, is there a Jew Pokemon? That's amazing, yeah, yeah. I need a hero. And so I...

That's amazing. So, yeah, I, but I didn't have a resentment against my dad. I had a resentment against God. Like, I even talk about how my mom and I, she has a fear of flying, so we would constantly take trains or drive, you know, from New York to Florida. And I'm like, of course, because flying would be too normal for the pecks. and yeah and then the dad stuff started to sort of rear its ugly head in my teens and when I was able to finally sort of face it or start cracking that anger and resentment that I had was actually

when I started losing weight and it wasn't until I was in my 20s and I found out that he had passed away and I had this wave of just sort of I don't know if it was remorse or regret in having never meeting him that I was like wait I I now have to mourn this guy I never met, too. So there were many phases to working it out. There's a weird, I guess, innate sadness about that, like sort of, you know, fuck him. He wasn't here. Mom's taken care of me.

I've got it. I have a career. I'm making money. I'm living my life. And then the guy that never was there dies and it still affects you. Yes. How do you do? How do you deal with that?

You know, for the years leading up to that, I was like, in my early 20s, I'd gotten sober, and I lost all this weight. And I was like, my career was so up and down, but like, I knew there was enough data to support that I think things are going to work out in some way. I have no idea how, but I've sort of made it. I'm certainly the weight and height of a full grown man, and I think I might be on my way there. Right. And I was like, if I go find my dad right now, he's 86, and I'm 24 or 25 at the time, and I don't need anything from him. So what do I get? Like, he gets this great kid who doesn't need anything. And I don't get the full dad experience. Like, I get this geriatric dude. And I was, and then when I found out he had

passed away, and I tell the story in the book, he had no online footprint because the dude was almost 90. And so... Your mom liked older dudes. Yeah. Well, my mom's older. She's older. My mom was 43 when she had me and he was like 62. Wow. She did like the older guys, though. Shout out mom. I sang the book. Like, my dad was getting, like, Medicare and chicks pregnant. That's nice. That's nice. Respect.

Right. But I, you know, I decided, I knew that he had another family. And my mom had met his other family, like his wife, who he supposedly had a well-time separation on the one night that he actually hooked up with my mom. And, like, his kids who were grown because he was an older guy. So a buddy of mine said, why don't we search your siblings? You know their name. And all of a sudden on Facebook, like, I had never, I'm 26, I'd never even seen a picture

of him. And suddenly- You didn't know what he looked like. Mm-mm. I mean, I assumed he looked like a Jewishy Richard gear. That's what you were thinking in your head. I was like, this is what dad looks like, right, right, right. At best. And were you right?

Not bad. Not a bad looking guy, pretty good looking guy? Nice, yeah. It's certainly nice. I'll show you a picture of him. I carried him on my phone now. do like because people wonder they're like oh what you know they I always say like their your parents are like these weird genetic roadmaps and all I had was my mom so it felt like

half of me I wasn't informed on what to expect right but but anyway I find my siblings and there's all these posts throughout their life of them with their father and at bar mitzvahs and weddings and then inevitably when he passed away these beautiful tributes to him And I just kind of said, you know, majority rules. Like, this guy had a family and it would have taken a shitload of courage to be able to tell them what had happened. And they didn't know what happened. I'm assuming not. I'm not exactly hiding.

But I don't, yeah, I don't think so. Otherwise, I imagine my siblings might be like, wait, we have like a brother out there. He's famous. He doesn't suck. He doesn't suck. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it weirdly allowed me to forgive him in a weird way.

I was like, oh, you weren't like, there's more than one part of you. And what I needed you to be for me, you were for this other family. And I can't be the arbiter of like the ultimate right or the ultimate good. Yeah. But and then, of course, you know, because you're a dad, right? To a dog. Exactly. You get it.

I get it. Right? Yes. Human and dogs. Very similar. So the argument could. be made that the dog is superior but it wasn't until i had my own kid and i had to do it with him and i was like oh like my dad missed all this and so he didn't get off scot free he just messed up yeah did you

was there a party that i want him to see my fame i want to see that i did all right i want to see him to see that i made money and then i'm on my two feet and i could do this and i don't need him i maybe i mean i my mom had sent him a picture of me when i was five and just sort of like a quick little blurb about where I was at and crushing, you know, blocks or reading. Crushing blocks. Did he respond? No.

And so I was like, oh, he turned down this like fetching five-year-old. Like, so I just figured he was probably so. People always say, like, you think he thought about you on like his last couple hours on this earth? And I was like, I hope not. I hope not. I would have been like, I hope he did. I hope he thought of me.

I hope he thought about the one thing that he regretted, the one thing that he just wish he would have done differently. And that was me. Yeah. You know, I think a lot of people would think that way. Yeah. But it seems like you got your shit together and you're a little more humble than that, maybe.

It took a lot of work. Again, I'm so damn self-centered that it's almost like I can't even think about the reasons why, you know, I am the way I am or I have the insecurities or trauma or dysfunction. I just am so, like, I blame myself for everything, for better or for worse. Really? Pretty much. Yeah. But I spin out when I do that.

And then I just go and then I just get a case of the bucket. So I have to mitigate that. Two tears in a bucket. Motherfuck it. Yeah. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money. Period.

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So Bombas would like to thank you, 150 million. times, but we only have like 30 seconds. Go to bombus.com and use code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com and use code audio at checkout. You were doing stand-up at like eight years old. Is that true? I was. How was that possible?

Where are you doing this? I was too fat for T-ball. Did you try to go for T-ball or just didn't even try for sports? I tried, but the asthma and the weight just didn't. Asthma, overweight. Great. living with your mom your dad has nothing to do with you i mean these are these are things that would fuck up almost anybody for sure right yeah man yeah but then i mean you're you mentioned how like when

you were 14 you were feeling insecure and and was that just because you hadn't hit puberty yet i mean were you still like a pretty athletic normal kid well i guess i was athletic but i remember we were like played basketball it was indiana so people played basketball and people would do shirts and skins and I would if I was a skin I'd say guys you know what I don't feel well because I didn't want to take my shirt off because I had no hair under my arms and I remember Mike curry down the street was like Harry and the Henderson's and he would be like Rosenbaum you've got no hair under your arms you're like 15 what's up I'm like oh I'm a swimmer I'm a swimmer yeah well they we shave we shave so you know it's the aerodynamics through the water so that's

what I do fair I'd make up stories I was embarrassed I was I mean I remember crying one day my dad was six foot five my mother was relatively tall and my mom was always you know she took a lot of valium a lot of pills she was a pill popper and yeah my my kind of person yeah exactly and dad was always you know back in the day not when i was growing up but like smoked a lot of pot when he was in his 18 and then he he he had me when he was 18 or 19 and my mom was 23 wow but i remember crying i remember being in the kitchen and going if you didn't do somebody fucking drive I wouldn't be so small. What's wrong with me?

You're tall. You're tall. And I went and I just heard them laughing as they left the room. And I was like, God, you're an idiot. But I mean, I just, it's, I don't know where I was going with that. How did Jews make it to Indiana? Dad got a job transfer. He got a job transfer.

And it was weird. I mean, I never really felt the, you know, being a Jew in Indiana that much. I think my mom probably felt it. My dad, they sensed it. But I was kind of ignorant to that. I just sort of like was in my own world. My sister experienced some people like one guy throwing a quarter down the hallway and saying, go fetch it, Jew.

Sure. But, you know, I didn't, yeah, terrible. But I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't privy to that. I didn't feel that in my life. I had some young, cool friends. And I did everything I could to get away from my parents. I would just, I want to stay out with my friends. friends as long as possible play flashlight tag and capture uh fireflies fireflies that's what they're

called fireflies and just stay out until i had to come home you really didn't want to be home you felt like that totally and it wasn't it was just the reality of like when you have a mom who's in her 50s and she's exhausted from working and solely taking a kid around all day like i remember on the weekends if we did one thing and we're in new york right so it's not like you know there weren't kids in my building and like I couldn't just go not I mean around I remember around like 11 when I started middle school at sixth grade I started taking the bus the the cross town bus alone which you know how old 12 12 so that was that was my freedom pass but I remember if like my mom and I would do one thing on a Saturday like go to the mall for two hours and eat at the food court like that was

it like when we got home at two we were shut down for the night and I was like fuck like Now it's me and the TV till 10. I was so lonely. Was she the type of mother, because I know she's a Jewish mother, but would she talk about your weight? You have to lose weight. You have to, or would she just feed you and you need to eat? Which way did it go? Well, she had always, she has always struggled with food and weight.

We're just, we come from a family of big people. So I knew that I saw firsthand that I was like, oh, food is an issue for the pecks. like it's just like menacing force so at like five six seven years old i would like be sitting playing game boy at wait watchers meetings she was at just over to the side or overeaters anonymous but you were just there for her yeah because she had no one to leave me with wow but it's certainly informed food was the ultimate focus and food was great or terrible it was brisket for holidays or popcorn at the movies or let's order chinese or it was you know we have have to only keep cold cuts in the fridge because otherwise mom will binge. And we have to make

sure there's no, like, fruit by the foot or dunkeroo's around here because Joshua loses shit and blackout. I'll find him on the floor drooling. Right. Yeah. Oh, my God. Did you get made fun of? Oh, yeah, viciously. Really? In school, at a young age, you remember being called what? Yeah, I remember at the JCC the first time when I was eight years old and a kid called me a fat fuck. A fat fuck. How old is he? I was like, really? Really? I was. Really? at our community center like we're supposed to band together guys were you humiliated oh it was the i'll tell you it was the first thing because obviously i was hip to the fact of like oh i'm bigger than my fellows like i you have a really good attitude i mean you're like you have this this sort of

feeling i don't know you're just ahead of your time that i would be just like a mess and you're like oh you know what this is why this is happy you have always these thoughts are like well i have a reason for this there's a reason for this it feels like there's a light bulb that went You're just a smarter kid than I was. I don't know. I think I, maybe it's where I portray it now because then it was, I remember when he said that, it was like the first time it wounded. And I was like, oh, like being this way is going to be challenging.

Yeah. This is going to. And I think very soon after I made a decision that like as an overweight person, true or not, this was what I thought. You walk into a room at a detriment, like at a disadvantage. people make a snap judgment about you that you're slothful you lack control and that it was incumbent on me to win them over and I think that's what inspired comedy and whatnot because I was like how do I even I just I don't even want to be thought of as great I just want to be on an even

playing field as everyone else so you thought if you were doing stand-up comedy and you can kind of show them up and kind of say hey look I'm not that guy I'm funny I've got I'm creative I have talent I have all these things so don't look at me as the fat guy look at me as a creative, funny, you know, and what would you make, like, in your stand-up, would you use your weight as part of the joke, you know? Yeah, like I had, you know, I'm sure they probably had it in Indiana, Entomans, it was like store-brand pastries. Yes, yes.

I don't know if it's big on the West Coast, but, you know, it's like store-brand Danish and donuts and huge on the East Coast. And one of my jokes when I was like 10 years old was I, at school, I major in Entomali. the study of Entomans. Coming out of a little fat kid's mouth, they were like, oh, this is genius. This is great. So I surely was like, I'll make fun of myself first so you don't have the chance and in doing so hopefully when you over.

Wow. And this is something you were telling your mom at a young age, I want to do stand-up. Yeah, I mean, she was, my mom is like the ultimate sort of vaudevillian. I mean, she's 77, right? So her contemporaries were Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner and the true greats of comedy. But she was like the self-made businesswoman, a female in the workforce in the 70s and 80s who like had to deal with a lot of male bullshit and dealing with like Wade and just all this stuff, all these challenges.

So I would watch her take over rooms. She was very confident. Always ready with a joke. Oh, just like a natural performer. And she was overweight. Yes. Very overweight always. like you talk about with weight watchers she was very heavy she would vacillate sometimes she would be

totally like at a normal weight and it was great and then she could put on a good amount of weight quickly so it just was yo-yoed throughout my whole life did she date did she date did you see other men that came into the picture or would no never what oh she's giving me that movie line like when i you know when you were born like that ended for me she never dated after you not so you don't think your mom since she had you at 43 has had sex in 30 something years. I hope not. I don't want to think about it. I don't know. I mean, I think probably, but it's like it was probably, she was in such survival mode my whole life and I was just her utter focus that if she did, I'm hoping it was just a quick fling and I hope they were nice to her. I hope they used a rubber. Yeah, exactly. I don't need another one of me out there.

Like, well, how did it all start? Like, you started doing comedy. Your mom notices he's got something. He's got a spark. He's funny. Yeah. And then what, you went to an agent? You had it, how'd you get an agent?

I, so I was reading, did you ever, when you were starting out as an actor, did you read backstage magazine? Of course. New York, yeah. Yeah, I was, I was eight or nine years old. And this was before stand-up, and I find this guy in the classified Sid Gold at Gold Star Entertainment. Sid-Gold. Still around.

Reps Jennifer Lawrence now. No, I'm kidding. No, no, he doesn't. Yeah. Jennifer Leibowitz, though. Well, that's who Jennifer Lawrence was. Sure, exactly. But yeah, so he, I go in and I meet him and the ads like, I represent people of all ages

and he's a sweet guy and he says, listen, I can get you placed at maybe Caroline, stand up New York, I can get you a little stage time. So if you can put together an act. five minutes of comedy I will get you stage time how do you and how old are you eight nine yeah but how do you get into a comedy club isn't it like alcohol and things like that what do they want a kid who's eight or nine up there so I started at afternoon shows so try to understand of it too yeah nobody there terrible terrible so I do those but it was like a schick I just had this vision of you I just said so anyway uh entomins and okay nobody has the chicken tenders yeah exactly the thing about Pokemon is like

You know, can't do any crowd work because no one has, has my references. But yeah, and then as I got better at it, and I, there was like, oh, there's like this kid comedian who's got this schick. Like, maybe we can, we can sandwich them in between real comedians at 11 o'clock at night. They would have to sneak me in so they wouldn't lose their liquor license. Wow. Yeah, like through the back door. Anybody famous that you'd go after that you could recall or that was up that night?

I'm trying to, no, I mean, I remember. I was on a TV show with a young before-half-baked Chappelle. Really? And I was like, I'm a comedian, too. He's like, okay. What was that? It was, the TV show was called Fox After Breakfast. Fox After Breakfast.

Tom Bergeron. Really? And Chappelle was on that. Yeah. And how old were you? I was 11. I'll show you the picture. It's great.

Oh, I have to see it. And Chappelle was there. Chappelle couldn't have been older than 24. Do you remember him being very funny? Were you like, this guy's really funny? Yeah, I mean, I think at that time, I was like, oh, this guy will get to my level eventually. You were cocky.

Yeah, I mean, I was just like the beauty of that age where as soon as you're good at something and especially like it wasn't being good at athletics at that age where you're probably good amongst a lot of good kids. I was such an outlier, like a good comedian, you know, a good 11 year old comedian was so rare. So I certainly felt like, oh, I've got this little superpower, this little thing. And your mom saw it too. Did she see it as a, as a way, like, you know, those moms. moms that like, oh, this is a vehicle. He could make some money for me and for him and this could be

great for the both of us. Or was she just like, do what you want to do? Was she always do what you want to do? Or was she like, do this? She was pretty, she was pretty incredible about it. I have to be honest. Like, I just, you know, we were so up and down financially. And you shared a room in your apartment. You lived in, you had a one bedroom and that you shared with your mother. Yeah. So like we literally went from sharing a studio where we would switch off on like a Murphy bed and the couch and then we got a one bedroom and basically the living room turned into her room and I had the bedroom and then we lived in a different one bedroom and we switched that she's like enough already like I require a bedroom and I was like it's fine I'll be I'll be fine here near the terrace and then yeah and then

I remember I was 12 years old and I was starting to like make you know I was just starting to I did the Conan O'Brien show and Rosie O'Donnell. And I'm like, oh, maybe this could work out for me. And we went broke again. And I talk about it in the book, like the book, I don't know when the veil of adolescence falls and all of a sudden you're like, oh, like life is unjust. Like life is unfair. This sucks.

You started to feel that. Yeah. It was a really rough summer of like 1998. And I just was like, I need to do something about this, not pushed or prompted by my mom. but more so like I don't want to be this powerless and at the whim of my mom's career because it's too up and down she's doing her best but I just don't want to feel this way anymore and I think I saw that that was an inflection point where I really doubled down on on acting really and stand-up yeah and so what was the first thing that you remember going oh thank God this is going to bring

some money on the you know back home well I had a Jew I had you know Jewish I had you know Jewish grandparents and aunts and uncles who are all like, this is cute, but you know this is a hobby, right? This is no way to live what you're doing. Really? They thought that about acting in general. Yeah, they were like, you'll do this until you go to law school, right? And I was like, no. Probably not. Who's paying? Exactly. And I remember that summer and it was really tough. And my mom looked at me and, you know, I was going to go from my elementary school to middle school in my district, but we didn't have a district anymore because we had to move in the middle of the night. And she was like, you know, there's that performing arts high school on the west side near

Times Square. You should audition for that. Like, I think you would, I think you, you'd love it. And I went there 10 days later, I'm like, what you had to do? Give a monologue? No, I did. I did five minutes to stand up for the vice principal. Shout out Miss Bruno. Miss Bruno. You know, she had the eye. She had the eye of the tiger. The eye of the talent. Of the, the baby. Yeah, the baby town. But I walk into that school and all of a sudden, I'm surrounded by these kids who are on Broadway and they're on TV shows and they're making grown-up money. I was like, that girl has a car. I was like, like, she's 16 and she has a car in New York.

That's important. No one has a car in New York. So you didn't feel like you fit in, really, did you? Well, what I felt was like, oh, maybe my aunts and uncles and grandparents are wrong. Maybe you can do this and make grown-up money. So it was a bit like Basically at every turn Whether it was that moment

Or when I got my first TV show It was a level up It was like oh I'm gonna really have to dedicate myself to this now If I want to operate at these kids level And you were intimidated Or you were just like I'm not intimidated I'm ready to fucking get there Oh yeah I did

I think I did more extracurriculars that year Because like I'm in this fun house For weird musical theater kids now You got into the Performing Arts School Oh, my God. I'm in and I'm doing, I was like, in choir, in dance, in vocal, in drama classes. Everything. Oh, I just was like, let's go. You were never home. You were always at school. It's the best. I was the after school kid. Like, before this, my mom would drop me off at the YMCA and, or she dropped me off at school. Then we'd go to the YMCA until six. So I was out of the house from me to six every day. And you loved it. I was heaven. I was like, another round to kick the can, anyone? Brothers and sisters. And how old are you not? 10. Oh, yeah. That was, yeah. And it worked for her because she had to work. You know, I mean, I have a kiddo now who's three. And like, I have a wife and I've got a lot of support. And I'm still like, ah, it's not enough time in the day. Right? Yeah. Oh, my God. It's a lot. So, so you're going to this performing art school. You've got this agent, Sid Gold. God bless him. I had moved on. Sorry. You moved on already from Sid. What can I say? I mean, you were only with Sid for a, for a year, maybe. Maybe. And you moved on. Was he very upset?

I think he's my buddy of mine the other day was like I was rep by Sid Gold too he got me like a TV show I was like I should have stuck around everybody fucking leave Sid Gold what is that he's still going these people leave him they come into his life he helps them and then they just let go of him who do you know they remember the name of your first agent oh there was one um Arthur Arthur something but I remember I remember I I told him that I'm going to go with this other agency. Ooh. And I remember I called him and I said, hey, God, what was this fucking name? And I just remember him going, first he goes, hello. I go, hey, it's Michael. Rosemont goes, Michael, how are you doing?

And I'm like, good. Listen, I just wanted to talk to you. You know, there's this other agent that's pursuing me and they've got this commercial department and goes, go for it. Fuck off. That was it. How healthy. Just was like, fuck you.

Was he in a one-man shop? He was kind of a one-man shop. He was like, fuck you. Go do whatever you want. He was so insulted that I would consider another agent. Of course. It wasn't maybe as blunt, but it was pretty like hang up the phone. And I remember going, wow.

Yeah. I guess that wasn't right for me. I wonder if Sid Gold got pissed off when you left and was like, fuck you, Josh. Piece of shit. I was getting $40 a night at Caroline. And he was getting a percent of that. of that four bucks he was really getting you'd send him money i don't know i don't want you four bucks kid

i want that uh was it an acura what did you get the car the free car later on mdx the the full-sized sedan or SUV she's is so lucky i mean and technology package nice nav nice navigating system inside of you is brought to you by patreon that's right patreon listen guys patreon helps the podcast survive. It's people over there, my patrons who give back to the podcast a little bit more. And there's so many friendships that have spawned from this and relationships, people on Patreon that support the podcast. And I really appreciate it. But it's built in an incredible community. If you want to get early access to episode content, check out the Patreon. If you want to interact with fans of the show. Check out the Patreon. If you want to get exclusive access to have your

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So your mother at this point and you're taking all these classes and extracurricular, she's seeing something. like seeing this love, this passion for it. And she knew, she, you know, know then that, you know, you're going somewhere? You know, when I eventually a year later got offered this TV show in California, and basically I had to leave my whole life to go do that. What was that? It was called the Amanda show with Amanda Binds. Amanda, how is she to work with?

She's the greatest. Was she really the greatest? Again, much like going to this Performing Arts High School, I show up and it's a sketch comedy show and she's like the Carol Burnett and I and of course they ice me right away which I don't blame them for but I had been sort of put I had been highly suggested that I get this shop from the president of Nickelodeon who had met me a year before and was like you got something you're funny and as you know producers love being told what to do right and they were like okay and they took me but they didn't know so I was relegated to waiter number three

sketches oh boy but instead of being resentful i was like embraced it yeah and i just watched her because i'm like you were six months apart in age but you are like decades ahead of me in ability and i just sort of studied her instead of being pissed i was on the bench did she like you i think or did she not really was aware of you she wasn't aware of you as much as like i don't oh you were the third waiter this server yeah i remember you have you have something yeah you like the snack table you still like the snack table at that point oh that's when i really started doing damage I'm like, this is free? This is good.

We get free food, you know, as much food as you want. And no one ever complained about your weight, like any producers or directors or they just embrace it. Like, yeah, let him be the overweight kid. Oh, they loved it. I mean, I was, especially in the early 2000s, like I was fulfilling a niche, like a thing, especially in like, Y.A. or kids TV, there was always a fat friend or the fat bully. And like, that was a big part that was sort of.

my inspiration or motivation to lose weight was like, if I really want to act, I'm being relegated and stereotyped into these like two parts. And it doesn't seem like they're writing parts for people like me that's anything more than this. Right. But yeah, I mean, it's obviously so much better now. And I don't mean, I think some people might read my book and think I speak hyperbolicly about myself or I'm taking the piss out of myself too much. But it was truly a different world. Right. for a guy who looked like me at that time right and this kind of led you into when you did drake and josh it was sort of the same thing well yeah drake was so amanda was on all that which was

all that right s and l for kids right she got Amanda show Drake and I were on Amanda show and we got our own show a year later they liked you guys that much that you just blossomed on the show yeah you got your own show yeah they called the guy who created all that and Amanda show this guy Dan Schneider and they were like, do you have another like buddy comedy idea because he had made Keenan and Cal? And he said, nope. They were like, great. Well, if you have an idea, let us know. And Drake and I are doing a scene towards the last episode of the season. And this guy, Steve Malaro, who's now, you know, huge writer and producer for Chuck Lurie, he goes over to Dan and goes, don't they want you to write a buddy comedy? And he said, yeah, he said, it's those two idiots.

Those two. Really? He's like, that's your, those are your buddies. And six months later, we were on the set of Drake and Josh. Were you shocked that you're getting your own show? Seemed like that's how it worked. Like, oh, this is how Hollywood works. Like, you do good on one show and then you get your own show, at least for kids' TV.

And your mom is in L.A. with you because you moved with her from New York to L.A. She's there to support you. We've got a two-bedroom apartment at the Avalon. I'm talking amenities, like a racquetball court. What a treat. Carpet. Carpet. Nice carpet.

A fridge with the ice dispenser. Like we could not, we were literally. You were happy. We could not believe how good our life was. And how close were you with Drake at that point? Very, very tight, very good friends? No. We never, we, I think what was always, we were naturally just kind of like we had a brotherly

type thing where it was either we were close or we were really not. But what we could have. appreciate about each other, I think was like, there's some magic here. Like, something works between us. I remember not to like compare to true geniuses, but Don Rickles has this great quote about him and, um, um, oh my God, I'm like, Val Kilmer. No, his, his partner, Bob Newhart. Oh, Newhart. Of course. And he always said, here I was this Jew from Queens. And is that, is an ice cream? No, it's say it's, I never turn it off. It's the cuckoo clock.

Cute. Yeah. So if you hear the cuckoo clock, it means it's a really good episode. Love it. Everyone, it's noon. No, is it? It's, uh, it's, it's almost noon. Perfect.

Yeah. Oh, you have a cuckoo clock for like 1150? Yeah. It's off. It's off. It's off. It really is. It doesn't work right.

It's just it goes off whenever it wants to. That's even more part. Yeah, but I need to turn it off. But go ahead, Newhart. So, and Rickl says this great quote about him and Newhart where he's like, here I was this like, you know, Jewish kid from Queens and he was this, you know, Catholic guy from the Midwest came from totally different backgrounds, but something about us together worked. And like Drake's a, you know, some kind of Christian from Orange County and I'm this chubby Jew kid

from New York. But like somehow when we got together, it worked. It worked. It worked. But you didn't necessarily get along or liked each other or hung out. It just worked. It just worked. But did you go home and say, mom, I just really don't like Drake. He's just a real asshole. He's so mean. I don't know. No, sometimes.

I mean, and I'm sure you said some version of that annoying Josh Peck. Can't stand him. Always eating all the snacks. Right. It's like enough already. I have some self-control. That's like control. I'm trying.

Yeah. But it was, yeah. And it, you know, we made people, I think, think we did a lot more of it. But we only made 60 episodes over like five years. What were they paying you then? I want to know this. I'm curious. It's not much, is it?

So I think at the height of it, we made 10,000 an episode. At the height? 15. I, I... When it became kind of, I guess it lasted 60 episodes, how many seasons is that? Four. Four seasons. So by the four seasons, you're making 10, 15 grand an episode.

I think like the median I say in the book is like, when all was said and done, I think we, it averages to about 15,000 an episode. and I only, because it's gross to talk about money except for I think the misconception is like if you are on a show. Yeah, that's what I want to talk about because I think people assume you're making hundreds of thousands of dollars and millions of dollars.

You're on a show you've made it. And that kind of money, as much as it sounds, in the $15,000 an episode does sound like a lot of money to most people. But you take the taxes. You're in a tax bracket. You take all the agents and the managers and the commissions and you're left with about six.

And you're living. Yes. You have to live. You have to pay for your apartment. So at the end of the, like $4,000. Yeah. That money goes by quickly. That's why you think, how did this guy get broke?

Right. He was on a show for four years. Because he really wasn't making that much in L.A. To live in L.A. is very expensive. Yeah. So I'm always curious. I'm always curious. Like, how much did they make on a kid show like that?

You know, but. And no residuals. No residuals. I love telling people that. I don't know. That's bullshit. I think I'm like one of those weirdos who likes to tell people like someone's passed away. Like, you know, Fran passed.

John died. Yeah. Oh, I didn't ask you that. Yeah, I know. I know, but you should know. Yeah, and Fran. They died together. I love telling people about no residuals in kids TV because they all have your reaction.

They're like, how, how, how? Yeah. People always think it's like, oh, Hulu just bought Smallville. You must be making millions. I don't think I've got one check. Really? Not nothing. It's coming out.

It's coming out yet. I don't. think so dude streaming is so and i i got to give respect to like netflix and every gigantic streamer it's the most beautifully gangster move of like a corporation we don't understand it we don't know what to pay you we don't know this is yeah and we did you and we're not going to tell you whether you're doing good or not because that gives you leverage what do you get into in your book briefly about uh drake and josh do you get into the dark stuff at all what do you mean was there any dark stuff while you're filming that was there anything that you were

remember that just, you know, you saw some things that, you know, as a kid, you probably shouldn't be privy to. I mean, what I really talk about, Drake and I specifically, and it's really just like the way in which people marry themselves to you when they fall in love, like the people fall in love with the first image they have of you. And it really sets the tone for the way they're going to think about you forever. Like Steve Krell's The Man, one of our greatest actors, most people will think of him as Michael Scott, forever, for better or for worse, because that show is so beloved.

And so with Drake and I, like I said, what meant the most to me was what this show meant to other people. And because it was in reruns for free, forever, like, I'll still at 35, having not shot an episode of that for almost 20 years, have new kids and families come up to me and talk about how much they love it. And it's a testament to the show that it sort of had that lasting power. but so no one to me had to ever know that drake and i weren't exactly close right you don't talk to him anymore at all right i don't but i got married a few years ago and i didn't invite him

because we're not close and he didn't like that no and he took to the internet and basically like i think he wrote an innocuous shitty tweet that then caught fire and he leaned in completely when he saw how outraged people were because they're like, no, you guys were just sharing a room last week. Like, that was 11 years ago. Jesus. And I was like. So they got down on you. Oh, crushing for a really long time. Since then, people I think have actually, you know. That's hurtful. That's like, I didn't invite you because we never were really friends. And people don't know that. And it's been 12 years. We don't talk. My wife's Irish. She's got big family. Yeah. I have friends I see once a month. I didn't invite them. Of course, but you know that and I know that. But like,

you know, the Twitter mob did not understand that. Yeah. And mostly I was just outraged because I was like, my wife's a private person. She's not an actor. And she's supposed to be in the afterglow of like this very special event. And she's being shit on by 12 year olds who are like calling her Yoko. Oh boy. She broke out. Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. Did you ever tweet out and say, fuck you. I didn't. Because I had some really great counsel in that moment, moments where I was like ripping my hair out where I'm like, why am I the most famous I've ever been for the worst thing ever right in this moment? Like Tamsie never gave a shit about me, but somehow they want to talk to me right now. And my friends were like, well, what would you say? And much like I just said, I'm like, I'd tell the truth. They're like, so you're the bearer of bad news. Like, you're going to be telling the world that you guys were never close. They're like, you can't, you won't win. You're right. Wow, I never thought about that. Yeah. He was right, wasn't he?

Yeah, they were like, just shut up, and they're like, reasonable people will know it. And even people who are outraged now over time will be like, ah, actually, that kind of seems to whack. Yeah, I didn't think about that. But, wow, it's like people's perception of, like, you know, when I was on a show, they, they, they don't want to know that we were actually arch enemies, you know. Really? You know, they don't want to think that we, you know, like, maybe we were, I don't know. I don't know what people think But I think they like that we're friends

We are friends We become stronger friends The opposite of you guys Really? Yeah, we've become stronger friends As the years go on We're doing a couple projects together And that's awesome

But you know But that's not for everybody There's a lot of people I've worked with That I wouldn't invite to my fucking wedding Would you say it's more I mean you've worked so much And done so many cool things

Of all different types And huge things And indie stuff Like shitty things Same here We've all done shitty things But nice house Right sometimes

I'm very grateful. Very grateful. I'm doing something cool next month. Pay nothing. Beautiful. Look at these beautiful shore mics that we're using. Gorgeous. Yeah, they're great.

Joe Rogan approved. Yeah, exactly. But would you say like, I find like that's the rare currents? Like I've maybe collected in 20 years, two or three people from projects from like, I love them. They're a big part of my life. Everyone else, nice. That's the same with me. Yes, there's a couple of people that I'll talk to here and there and I like talking to,

too, but, you know, I don't talk to them constantly. Right. And it's nice to catch up. Like, for instance, Kristen Kruk, who's Lana Lang on Smallville, she and I were friends. I consider her a friend. But how often do I see her? Maybe at a convention signing an autograph or, you know, I ask her to do my podcast and she's very sweet and she'll, you know, she'll do it.

She asked me to do something. I would do it. If she needed a favor, I would do it. But we don't see each other all the time. But we're, you know, I consider her my friend. Yes. But, you know, there comes, there's most of the people that you work with are just, like, whether you like them or you don't like them, it's just, it's work.

Yes. It's work and you work with them enough and you really, there's nothing else or you don't have anything in common or there's just, you have the different lives. It's camp. It's camp relationship. People don't understand that. But when did you decide and why did you decide to lose all the weight? And this is, again, this is in the book.

Yes. This is all in the book. Yes. Happy people are annoying. Happy people are annoying, which you guys, I can't wait to read it now. I'm so glad that we got to talk because I find this really interesting. This story is something that a lot of people don't know about this world and growing up with a single mom and not having the father and, you know, finding a spark, finding something

you like with stand-up. And then, you know, it takes you out to L.A. And you somehow get your own show after being the third waiter on the left on the Amanda Bine show. And it's just this build-up and the story that I think would make a great movie. if you condensed it. So I urge you guys to check that out. Thank you. So when did that time come where you like, did someone tell you you need to lose weight?

Did you think like, I want to lose weight? I want to look different. What was it? I think there, you know, I was 17 years old and on yet another road trip with my mom. And I, I, there was, it was sort of this perfect storm, which was I'd been incredibly insecure. And in many ways, what I find my, my saving grace now when people are like, oh, you're you're pretty normal for an actor at 35 and I'm like, well, at the moments in where my ego could have completely got out of control, I was 100 pounds overweight. So constantly, I was like,

don't get too hyped about yourself. Look at you. And so every time I could have gone to a party or a club or something cliche, I just was like, I'll just stay home and alphabetize my DVD. It's like, that's sad. Yeah. It's sad. It really is. It's a shame. It was, it is. And I, I just knew with there was this moment at 17 where I was like I miss some stuff like some pivotal things I can already tell and you've also probably saved yourself in a lot of ways because you could have got into some deep trouble you know you start going out with all these kids and party and you see what happens no offense but like you see what happens are some of the people you've worked with and then shit happens and so maybe not being around that saved you in many ways yeah I mean

that would come for me a year and a half later but I right but I see But what was a real turning point was when I was 16, I did a movie called Mean Creek. Right. And it won Sundance, and I was playing an overweight bully, but it was the first time that I was playing a real person. And what you come to learn in the movie is that he was this beautifully tragic character who was deeply insecure and had learning disabilities and really just desperately wanted friends.

And it's this beautiful sort of executed movie. and the response was unreal and all of a sudden I'm truly you know people would always sort of there was always always a caveat to if someone gave you a compliment about Drake and Josh or something because they'd say oh but that's just you I mean it's literally your name right but this was like oh your your character you're doing something here so I was like and Judd Apatow wasn't around then like guys who were giving non-traditional leading men great parts so I'm like I can't wait another 10 years for this. Like another part like this isn't coming around for a really long time. And if I want to be able to really be the kind of actor I want to be, I need to be able to transform and I can't

do that at this size. You're 17 years old and this is what you've come up with. All these things have gone through your mind. Yeah. And you realize I've got to make some changes in my life. Yeah. I want to do this. I want to be seriously taken. I want and I want to do other work. and I want to stay in this business. Yeah. And so you made the decision on your own to lose all this weight. I was so sick and tired. I remember distinctly saying if I can be a movie star at 300 pounds or normal and go do a

nine to five job, I'd rather be at a healthy weight and do that and give it all up. So that was like, and I always say, you know, everybody wants a hack or a secret, especially when it comes to losing weight because I feel like no matter who you are, you're contending in some way with food. And I say, you know, what I can tell you is if you're truly sick and tired, it's a great place to start because I never learned anything on a good day. Like pain is the great motivator of my life. Unfortunately, you got to get pretty low to finally be like, I can't take this anymore. How hard was it to lose all that way? I mean, I think it was like the first 10-year-old on Atkins. I had tried for years.

Right. And I would just, you know, I'd lose five pounds in two days and then put it right back on. Because, like, it was not sustainable. Right. So those, I remember I was, I went back home to New York for the summer for two months. And I just walked the city because it was like the only thing that didn't hurt. And I would eat better. And if I screwed up and had Mr. Softie one day because it's a summer in New York, I wouldn't let it ruin the whole week.

I would just say, just live to fight another day tomorrow. And suddenly, and I would plateau, but I mean, and I'm vain. So you go from 300 pounds to 260 in a summer, two months, people start really going like, wow. And then, you know, you drop the next 40 and the next 40. And suddenly they're like, who knew? Like, there was like a- Was it exciting?

Oh, yeah. Did you like the transformation? Was it all just like, as hard as it was, did it feel like, this is working? This is, people are seeing me differently. Oh yeah Dude, I remember I went to the, I would go to the mall

Once I got under 200 pounds I would go to the mall And go to all the stores I dreamed of wearing their clothes Like, Express Express has men's clothing? Yeah I don't know that

At a great rate, reasonable Shoutout Express. I think I knew that. I've seen United Colors of Benetton. Another good one. Yeah, for sure. So I would go to Mervyn's and Bloomington Coat Factory,

no. Again, I'm seeing this in the movie. I'm seeing the scene where you go to all these stores and look in there, and you're just happy and you're like, you know, and your friend comes up to you, hey, I'm getting some ice cream on somebody. He's like, no, I'll have a Diet Coke or something. And, you know, it's just like, it's so visual, but it's so, it is. It's got to be an exciting time

in your life that you're like, you're like, hey, I'm disciplined. I'm doing this and it's working. Yeah, I thought that I had just made it like right before the buzzer. Like you did it. Like, you're going to have the chance at living life as a thin person. And you, because that was what, I've always resisted being defined by, by, like, that's what I hate. You know, I don't hate it. It is what it is now. But, like, I hated being the kid actor, the child actor. Because I knew that that triggered in people's brains, like, for every Zendaya or Jody Foster,

there were a thousand other kids that just, you know, completely nosedived in front of the public. And so I'm like, I don't want to be in that class. I just want to be an actor. I don't want to be that funny guy. I just want to be an actor amongst actors. But yeah, that was huge. When I lost the weight, it was a game changer. But unfortunately, I was the same head in a new body.

And pretty quickly, I got to my goal weight and then became viciously addicted to drugs and alcohol, which took over the next four years of my life. And how did your mom respond to that? Was she heartbroken? She was like, you always overdo it. So she knew you were doing these drugs. Oh, yeah. and she didn't she wasn't angry or upset or oh yeah she was heartbroken terrified she was yeah every day for four years i don't think she slept what kind of drugs did you do i did them all cocaine oh yeah

heroin i no okay well that's good because that could have been the end of it if you did we got went there i did you know i mostly it was a lot of you know cocaine and and pills and pretty much whatever you had uh right when i turned 18 18 so you finally get this new lust for life you're thinner you you want to be this actor you're excited you love the way people are looking at you differently and you fucking throw it into the fucking shit you just throw the whole thing down the drain and by doing all these drugs and shit you're just getting you're hanging out with the wrong crowd yeah well those kids like the ones who are going to the clubs I was like oh take me I've been you know my DVDs are alphabetized are you getting late at this time no I mean I wanted to doing cocaine

for the first time because of a girl because she was the first girl who had ever shown me any attention. And I remember her pulling it out and I'm at this. Well, what? Not it. Oh, oh, yeah. Okay, the pulling the cocaine. But maybe, you know, I don't know. We never got that far. You never got that far. I'll be honest. Right, right, right. The book gets really weird around page 120. I'm sure it does. But no, I was at this party and like, I think I'd smoke pot, but that was the extent. of it. And I just remember her, you know, doing cocaine with like her girlfriends and I'm seeing it there. And I'm like, oh, this is like Pope Fiction. This is like the movies. This is a movie stars

do, man. Totally. You kind of feel that. You're like, oh, I'm in Hollywood and I'm doing drugs and this is what I need to be doing. Not even that far. It was, this is what kids do. Like, this is what typical. I've been working towards typical my whole life. And my whole adolescence was besieged by you have to mind your peas and cues. Don't say anything out of turn. Do you want another take boss? Like I'm not those other child actors. Like I know my lines and I'm on my mark. Like louder, faster. Like am I okay? Will this casting director give me a part? I just want you to think I'm okay. I was in this crazy people pleasing, you know, storm my whole life. And suddenly I'm like now looking like a normal kid and a normal teen. And I'm like, oh,

they do drugs and that's normal and they go to house parties and they go to clubs and they show up late to places and they're unreliable and that's normal and i i died to be normal and i remember the first when i finally said yes i had no conception conception that this drug would make me feel any different that it was extreme all i thought was a i hope she's watching and oh good i'm normal. Isn't that, isn't that fucked? It is. I think that that's normal. Like, hey, I need to be doing this, because this is what kids do. Right. This is what everybody's doing. Yeah. It's, it's, it's crazy. I'm on party of five right now. Like, I'm all those 90s movies. What was the, you know, we're almost done here. Because I could talk to you for a long time. No, no worries.

But this is, what was the, did you make the conscious effort to sort of stop doing the drugs? Did you, was there a low point where you hit so low that you're like, what am I doing? Oh, yeah. What was that moment? Do you remember the moment or moments? It was a culmination and especially like in recovery, you hear so many like, you know, what's it called? Like white light, you know, utter moments of defeat that are so cinematic. You're like, I wish that was me. But for me, it was sort of this, I was ruining my relationships. I was quickly becoming just like unreliable and it was just getting around quickly like pecks going through something i wouldn't i wouldn't consider him um right ruin relationships with like people that really could have changed my life um some run some running some

away from the police really yeah i had the proclivity for calling the police on myself because i thought there was some like incentive for being the first to notify them there is it there's not they're still pissed yeah they're still like well we got to do our job but thanks for giving thanks for calling us you You fucking idiot. Who is this kid now? I'm like, wow, the Beverly Hills PD, like, you have quick response. Nice response time. Quick response.

And then, and I just broke my mom's heart on a daily basis, which is corny but true. But I talk about this in the book, like, as I said before, all I wanted to be was a real actor, not a kid actor, not the funny fat guy. And I get this part in this movie called The Wackness, which was about 1994 hip-hop in New York. and I was 20 years old and I'm acting against Sir Ben Kingsley my favorite actor and I was like

and I knew I was like I know nine times out of ten I'm like give it to Jonah Hill like he'll do a better job or like are you sure Miles Teller is not available because I'm pretty sure he'd crush this but this story

this guy was like a New York hip hop kid Jewish kid from New York who loves hip hop I know how to do this so the movie goes to Sundance And I'm literally, and I dreamed of this. When I was doing Mean Creek, I dreamed. I'm like, one day I'm going to be back here as a star of a movie and I'm going to look the way I want to look.

And there I was. And I was 21 and we do this screening and fucking Tarantino's there. And I'm like, this is it. I've been invited to the table. I'm eating. Like, I am here. And I just remember the next morning, my eyes start open and I go, I'm getting out of here. And I booked a flight.

Everyone's like, you're nuts? You have a well-received movie. Sundance, this doesn't happen. And I just, as soon as I'd finally arrived at this finish line I dreamed of, I was like, oh, I'd never want to be part of a club that would have me as a member. Like, this is the Groucho Marx quote. Like, it just doesn't, it didn't compute. And what was really rough was I had this realization, which was, oh, no, you're bottomless.

like you tried to fill this with food then drugs and alcohol and now like prestige and none of it nothing's going to fill the void none of it and i got sober two weeks later two weeks later yeah well i had to make sure i was right i'm sure i could drink this thought away wow and how do you feel now oh man i'm so overpaid i'm here with you yeah got a kid a wife i'm working you know i've been able to keep my shit together for a good, good amount of time. I'm, I'm lucky. Did you ever think he could be this happy? No. Oh, no way. I didn't think, I just didn't think that I would ever, you know, a good life as a result of good living. Like, my life mimics that of like a good man. But I'm not a good man. I mean, maybe, but like at my heart, like, I want to

set fire to the city. Like deep down, I just want, like, I say this at the end of the book. and the reason why I wrote it at 35 instead of maybe 55 or maybe I'd have some cooler stories was like I just want to like I want to give you a perspective of the halfway point you know and I just said like despite the fact that I work now and and my life is so great like when shit hits a fan like I think about getting a bunch of drugs and white castle hamburgers and just seeing what happens you know like that's always going to be in my head to some extent but I've done the right thing. over and over enough to where it's like working out. It doesn't hurt as bad. Yeah. Yeah. And it even feels really good. You know, you could always say you've done it. Yeah. I did that. And where did that get me the drugs? Right. Where did all that? How did I feel? And how did I feel about eating, stuffing my face and eating and being overweight? How did that make me feel? Yeah. And you start to say, what makes me feel good? Why don't I do things that make me feel good? And I think we all do things that we punish ourselves. Yeah. I think that has a lot to do with it. I think I've punished myself in the past.

with, you know, maybe drinking too much or drugs or, you know, or just other things. And ultimately, you have to, like we said in the beginning, you have to be good to yourself. You have to be like, hey, this is the life that I've been given. I'm lucky. I'm here. Yes. What can I do to help other people? What can I do to be a better person, a better man, a better? And it's hard to do that.

Yeah. But I think that it's, when you start doing the right things, you feel so much better. It's so obvious. Did you have moments when you really started hitting as an actor, like those moments of cliched them where you were like, oh, like do you look back now and give you the shivers? Not only that, but it's almost like I remember those moments where I feel like there's a camera on me as I'm doing whatever I'm doing. Yeah.

Like this is what I'm, like you said, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm supposed to be doing drugs at this huge A-lister's house with other A-lister's. And I'm supposed to be, you know, partying with, you know, you know, the producers on this movie and I'm supposed to be you're not supposed to be doing any of that right you're not supposed to be doing you know it's it's just it's this idea this idea that we have of what Hollywood is and how we could fit in and you know the as long as I'd been here and you know I'm almost 50 it's just like uh it means nothing someone said what was it Alan Richen says once I got famous or I became whatever I still realize there's just there's still

nothing here that's not the answer of being fan famous, being rich. That's not the answer to our lives. Yeah. It's meaning. It's relationships. It's connections. It's what you talk about in your book, right? Yes. And, you know, hopefully being content, like we said, you know, being content going, hey, you know, I'm, I'm all right. I'm good enough. I don't need this other shit. So other people like me more so that, you know, I feel like I fit in. But you've been through it and you've been through so much. And I just, I, I just, I, I really appreciate your candor and your, you're just your generosity for being so open about all your shit.

Well, you know, it's, it is the weird. It's the virtuous side of this thing. And I, I don't know, you know, you and I are of a similar generation when it comes to show business where, like, I feel like we were of the last class of people where social media wasn't a thing and where celebrity was still, like, mysterious, right? Like, the people I looked up to growing up, they would have a movie and go on every talk show and do something like kind of buzzy. And then they'd go away for a year and make their next movie. And so I assumed, and I think mostly because I wanted to erase my origin story.

Like, I wanted to be like, can't I just burn the yearbooks and start over? Swear everyone to secrecy. Right, right, right. And they're like, no asshole. Like, your yearbooks are on reruns on Nickelodeon. like solid that's amazing that's amazing but when i embraced my origin story when i was like willing to get vulnerable in order to hopefully be of service to someone else and be like i was there too and if you're struggling you know i hope i can give you a little bit of a reprieve from that

and show you like it's possible that was when it's it stopped having power over me yeah that's amazing um quickly we have shit talking with josh peck these are really rapid fire i'm only going to give you a couple because we've been talking too much and you know this is this is amazing And, you know, I'd never like to do interviews longer than an hour. Well, listen. Right. Or Ryan, you know how I feel about that. So these are rapid fire, quick questions.

These are for my patrons. If you join Patriens.com slash inside of you. These are people who support the show in many ways. And I love you guys. And these are for you. What's your tiers? What do you get if you like, what's the highest tier do we get? Well, you'll have to look at it.

Special incentives. You do. Packages for me every couple of months. You get like a box for. cool shit. I love a patron. Oh, yeah. There's, there's stuff. I'm signing up. All right, sign up. All right, sign up. All right, here we go. Really quick. Maddie asks, enjoying your character on how I met your father. And you and Hillary have great chemistry. Can you share any fond memories you have working on the show? Oh, man, Hillary's just dreamy as hell. We actually made a movie together

about 15 years ago when I was in my drug days and it was this little indie that not a lot of people have seen. And then 15 years later, when we saw each other on set, I was like, I don't know if she remembers that I was in that and then a couple episodes in I'm like hey remember we made that movie together and she was like oh yeah and I was like good she doesn't remember because so Hollywood I was not memorable at that time I was not memorable I was like in the shadow just like grinding my teeth Chelsea C if you had the chance to work with someone other than Ben Kingsley because that was like a lifetime change of a lifetime chance of a lifetime what am I trying to say you fuck with Ben Kingsley is that the first time anyone's ever

said that sentence. But she didn't say that, Ben's King. I threw that in there. Okay, got you. Yeah, see then. If you had the chance to work with someone you look up to most in Hollywood, who would it be? Oh, man, the rock, obviously.

Really? I just look up to him in general as a human. I'm like, how are your Instagram captioned so long? That was his arms so big. Yeah, I just want to do a workout with him. Christ. Ryan, do you have anything? I mean, you're the same generation as Josh.

No, yeah. How do you feel about her generation? Give me a little more. Is social media screwing us out too much? Probably, but we're awesome. I think the corneous thing is taking shot. It's become trendy to take shots at like millennials or zoomers. I was doing a podcast the other day and this woman said to me like, so you do social media

and stuff? Like, what about these kids, the Demelios and all these people on TikTok that are making all this money? Like, what do they even do? And I was like, I don't want to go there. I'm like, because I don't want to be that asshole old dude who doesn't get it. Right. Like, I'm like, they obviously have something that has gotten them an insane audience.

And I have respect for it, even if I don't quite get it. They're doing their thing. They're doing their thing. They're making money. They're doing it. You don't have to watch it. You don't have to listen to it. No.

Right. I hear you. I could be the old bastard too. I could do the old bastard thing. I think we all can. Somebody wrote a great meme for the Super Bowl show, which was, you know, Dre and all this like great 90s hip hop and people were like if you are hyped about this show it's time for your colonoscopy I was so hyped for that show I loved it I thought it was the best

because it was a throwback it was my generation it felt good it was the best ever um happy people are annoying get the book uh how I met your father on it was on Hulu you could watch that anything else coming up um no I have this movie called 13 coming out on Netflix sometime this year awesome and what's your handle? At Shuapec on Instagram. Are you going to follow me? I'll follow you. Hey, really? Yeah, let's follow each other. Let's do it in front of each other, so, you know, proof. I think we should do that. I'll do it right now. Thanks for allowing them to be inside you.

This was a joy. Dude, thank you. It really was. Thanks, man. Man, drugs. Drugs will fuck you up, man. And drugs. Fuck, drugs will fuck you up, man. Shit. You know, it's, you either get through it or it just crushes you.

He got through it. There's only two ways. Yeah. You either get through it or you don't. Yep. Right? There's no kind of. I mean, there's the in and out, but, you know, the up and down sort of in drugs, added drugs.

But if you're in drugs and addicts, you never really added drugs. Drugs are bad, okay? Drugs are really lousy. I mean, not all drugs. I don't think marijuana is necessarily a bad drug. No. I think it could help a lot of people. I think it does.

Yeah. It helps glaucoma. Yeah. It helps with cancer patients. Yeah. It helps with my stuff. sleeping. Great.

This whole podcast could just be listing things that marijuana does good for. Yes, absolutely. Thanks for listening again. Thanks for following us at Inside of You pod on Twitter at Inside You podcast on Instagram and Facebook. Please write a review on Spotify or Apple. It means a lot. It really helps the podcast.

And I appreciate it. And even if you don't know the guest and you listen to it or if you're here for Josh Peck, maybe next week you'll enjoy the podcast as well. You might learn something. So don't just watch for Josh Peck. we hope you stay with us and everybody out there who's a listener uh tell your uncle tell your friends get them to subscribe tell your uncle's friends inside take you tell your uncle's friends for god's sakes i don't know i don't know what you want to do and also uh again the inside of you

online store go there get great stuff um also a big thanks to all my patrons again and uh this is one of the perks for the top patrons you can go to patreon.com slash inside of you and i get to read off their names so i think we can get into that right now sweet let's do do it these are the top patrons here we go nancy d lea s sarah v little lisa eukiko jill e b b b jason w christin k amelia o alison l rossi josh c josh josh d josh d jennifer n stacy l jamaul f jennel b correct roger s kimberley e mike e el don supremo ninety nine more ramira santiago uh chad w Santiago M. Chad W. Leon P. Janine R. Maya. B. That's correct. Maddie S. Belinda N. Chris H. Dave H. Spider-Man Chase. Sheila G. Brad D. Ray H. I didn't use my glasses that are a little stronger. So it's hard in these glasses to see. Spider-Man Chase. Sheila G. Brad D. Ray H. Congratulations. Ray. I won't say why, but thank you. Tab of the T. Tom and Lilliana. L. A. Michelle Okay

Correct Talia M Betsy D Chad R Chad L Rochelle Michelle Marion

May K Trav L Dan N Big CBW Big Stevie W Angel M Yeah you're not

boring Steve Big Stevie W Angel M Riann and C Corey K Super Sam Coleman G

Dev Nexon Michelle A Jeremy C Cody R Gavinator David C John B Brandy

L D D Yeah 4 Yvore Camille F. The C. Joey M. Willie F.

Christina E. Adelaide, N. Omar J. Lena N. Eugene and what? And Leah. Oh. Yeah. Chris P. Corey. Patricia. Heather L. Jake B. getting to the bottom here. But really the top. You guys aren't the bottom. James B. Bobbitt. Ed A. Ad A. Mite. A bowl. A bowl. A bowl. It's a bowl, right? A bowl F? Yeah. A bowl? Yeah. yeah he's gonna get mad at me again i mean he keeps you know i have no idea i think it's i'm gonna say thanks abel f

and here's another one thanks abel f keep them both yeah keep them both joshua b t sean r megan t mal s orlando c annie john b caroline r darren b and rob e we uh we love you we appreciate you and uh thanks for listening to the podcast stay with us every week please um i you enjoy it be very good to yourselves it's very important to be good to yourselves give yourself a break uh Ryan from myself here in the Hollywood Hills of California yeah I'm Michael Rosen I'm Ryan Taylor man a little wave to the camera good night we love you guys thank you for thank you again for joining us and uh we'll see you next week Podcast. Today, we're going to talk about what if you came across $50,000. What would you do?

Put it into a tax advantage retirement account. The mortgage. That's what we do. Make a down payment on a home. Something nice. Buying a vehicle. A separate bucket for this addition that we're adding. $50,000. I'll buy a new podcast. You'll buy new friends. And we're done. Thanks for playing everybody. We're out of here. Stacking Benjamin's follow and listen on your favorite platform.