Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Howie Mandel: Passion Overcoming Pain

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

The man who lives a self diagnosed ‘edited life’ Howie Mandel joins us this week to discuss different topics ranging from his early beginnings in stand-up comedy to his continuous battle of thriving in show biz with OCD. We discuss Howie’s marriage, the stigma surrounding mental health, and coping mechanisms that people use in times of distress. Howie also opens up about some uncomfortable interactions he encountered while being on the Howard Stern show, the fall out of interacting with Marshall Faulk on Deal or No Deal, and also the story of being banned from Johnny Carson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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tough week tough time maybe you're having a great time i hope you are um so ryan i hate to throw this on you but um i got to put my doggy down oh yeah i got to put i got a perd herb down it's uh it's the hardest decision i've ever made and you know uh i based it on two things one quality of life his quality of life he can he can't walk and if he does he just he's dragging he can't i have to hold him up to go to the bathroom to poop um you can't hear him whining his life is just not great it's bad i don't like it i don't think it's fair number two uh there's no getting better he's only going to get worse he's only getting a decline doctors are like this is only going to get worse and worse and worse and i just hate watching him like this he was such a

vivacious you know creature ran around and jumped on people and and just was so full of life and it's just like his existence other than me hugging him and feeding him is shit so i had my friend shira come over and shira's a big uh she's vaccinated don't worry i'm vaccinated too so are you well getting there getting there but she came over and and i thought she was going to say no no he's he's because she's always like you know trying to save dogs and she was like it's time and i was like oh wow she didn't even hesitate i've called everybody and i'm having someone come to the house this doctor who my friend alex recommended um comes to the house and it's just sweet as hell and it's a nice service and you know they take the dog and you know you get the ashes and stuff

and uh it's overwhelming and i'm like this but you just and sometimes you look oh wait a minute he's he's having a better day today uh and then he has it's this back and four forth like you know and I go well can I change it if the day if she was absolutely if you decide you you can change it I'm thinking oh my god let's push it's Wednesday let's push the Thursday let's push it you know what give it another week I'm not going to do that I think that it's it's just time it's just not fair and I you know my grandpa Irv died at 94 years old and erv really is 94 years old. He's 13 plus, which is in dog years. What's 13 times seven is 91 plus add six months before we got it when he's six months. So, you know, it's like, uh, I'm just hoping, you know,

my grandfather will see Irv wherever they are and Irv will go. My grandfather, because Irv can't talk to dog. They'll say, what the hell is this? What are you doing here? He always said that to Herb. What is he doing already? Why did you name him Irv? He's just, you're supposed to wait till I die before you name your dog after me but uh anyway it's a tough thing so I want to and I want to say thank you to so many hundreds and hundreds of messages all across the boards of just you know just kind words and they know how much I loved her all my patrons I'll love you I love you thank you for all of them you know like sweet miss sassy Mary said I'll be sending you extra loving vibes as you say you say

say goodbye to Irv, give Blanche some extra loving. She'll miss him too. Remember, sassy Miss Mary loves you. And I thought that was really kind. Kelly Stevenson, just sending you words of encouragement. Irv means the world to you. Praying for you, I should grieve over the loss. So, you know, I got a lot of messages, and it was really sweet. Leanne, thank you. I mean, thank you to everybody. Emily, I mean, there's a list that I can go on and on, but it was really, It's nice to see people just saying, hey, you know, because people, you know, they go through this. Have you gone through it? Have you lost to put down a dog?

I mean, we talked about this before. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, we drove my girlfriend's cat one time and we've had to put down dogs, but it's rough. But it's rough, man, I'm sorry. Yeah. He's just family. I'm having like a service where people come over on Sunday and they just say goodbye to Irv and just give them a hug. And then Monday we do it.

So I'm going to spoil him this weekend. give him anything you want to ice cream and uh but it's time man unless there's some miracle or he wakes up and he there's a new irv uh so anyway i've been it's been tough but and i also want to say sorry to rob robert brandenberg peggy's coffee in texas where i get my coffee uh for not saying your name at the end of each show all the top tier patrons i say their names and for some reason I didn't so I'm going to blame Bryce Bryce if you're listening you son of a bitch now you know also thank you Marissa Norello sent me a nice note and sent me in a trilogy of a trilogy of all these pictures of the movies from Alien the Alien trilogy it's actually more than a trilogy if it's

how many trilogy's three isn't it that's three yeah well there was like six movies wasn't there so whatever thank you it's awesome um listen we had a great podcast today before I do of course I'm just asking you if you're here for Howie and you've never listened to the podcast before it'd be really awesome if you subscribe on YouTube it's free and Apple Podcasts and Spotify you can do that you can go to YouTube

Ryan uh yeah YouTube.com slash inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum Twitter at Inside of You Pod Instagram Facebook at Inside of You podcast That's very simple also Sunspin Sunspin my band Here you go see this shirt

The logo Sunspin is pretty awesome. And merch, 15% off. We're doing 15% off. Just go to Sunspin.com, type in Sunspin 15. We haven't done any discounts, and we're doing Sunspin 15. There's already been tons of purchases and things like that. So go to Sunspin.com, hats, lunch boxes, shirts, autographs, all that stuff. And type in Sunspin 15, you get 15% off.

And, of course, the inside of you store, we have, we have, we have, have only 30 available, but Bryce thought it would be fun for sale. 30 fanny packs inside of you fanny packs. There's only 30 of them. So when they're gone, they're gone. I don't assume we'll be getting more. It's possible, but Ryan put it on. So you'll, you might see that on Twitter. Here it is. Thank you. So it's a, it's an inside of you fanny pack. You could just put your candy in your keys and you can put other things in here and you put your fanny pack. it's a nice lovable fanny pack but you go to inside of you store inside of you uh store and tons of stuff lex luther pictures small of the lunch boxes uh shirts inside of you shirts pictures

uh everything you can imagine and that's inside of you store also hey guys if you haven't heard the band yet play we're playing on april 24th it's the last saturday of the month go to stage it dot com also you can go to sunspin dot com to book us for zoom's or shows or whatever you want. There's going to be a discount on Zooms as well. But to watch us live on StageIt, stage.com, type in Sunspin, get your ticket. We have so much fun. We play covers.

We play originals. We play songs from Left on Laurel. It's a blast. And Rob and I will be jamming. And we have a brand new setup. So we made the sound better, the video quality better. We're technologically advancing ourselves. All right.

This next guest is so open about. his OCD. He's so open about everything. His just anxiety. I couldn't believe how open he was. I was almost nervous in the beginning to ask him certain questions. And he opened up and just the floodgates opened. Didn't you think? Oh, yeah. He's a floodgatey open person. And those stories. Yeah, they go. And they're really interesting. What great stories Howie Mandel has. You know, I was listening to Howard Stern and Arsenio Hall was on. And they were saying, he was like, who was really hard to go after doing stand-up comedy? It was hard to go after Sam Kinnison or Eddie Murphy.

And he goes, Howie Mandel, man. He was like, wait, what? Howie Mandel, man, he crushed. Going up after Howie was like, death. He always was just crushing. The audience just loved him. So please listen. Please subscribe.

And I love you. And let's get inside of Howie Mandel. It's my point of view. You're listening to Inside. Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. Hey, thanks for coming on. What does that say?

Hi, I like. Goat. Do you like goats? You know, I like everything until I dislike them. Yeah, I do like goats. I've never had a, no pun intended, a run in with a goat. I would, I, though once I tried that, I tried that goat yoga, did you ever try that? No.

Have you heard of it? I, I think I have, but I barely do any yoga. So goat yoga is at all. No, I don't do yoga either, but, and how do you think you've heard of goat yoga? Like, you either heard of it, like, in passing somebody said something. I remember somebody saying something about goat yoga, but I never, like, pursued to, I never. I don't want to knock, uh, I do want to knock it. It was the stupidest thing.

First of all, I don't do yoga, but, and I'm not knocking yoga. I think everything that helps, anything that helps anybody is, is positive. But it just seems like we'll buy into, like, so they brought a goat. And the goat was standing on my back. And there's a goat on your, a goat has got hooves, hooves. Or hooves. Are you talking like George Jefferson, kind of the opening of the Jeffersons, when the guy's on his.

back, but there's a goat on your back? You know what I'm talking about, the Jeffersons and then the... I know the Jeffersons, but I don't remember in the opening that he was doing goat yoga. No, no, the neighbor was standing on his back. So he's like, you know, massaging his back. Yes. So I was thinking, is it the same thing with a goat?

Maybe. I've never had a neighbor standing on my back. But the point is that there is never, I have never been anywhere where I went, you know what I need? I just need something uncomfortable standing on my back. let alone something that could possibly take a dump and you know they're not trained no in yoga they're not yogies they're goats i had a fucking goat on my back gogies a goat should be in a field there's no field on my back so that's i forget what the question was but i i didn't like goat yoga i didn't go back to goat yoga i like goats i don't want to do yoga with them good well you've made that clear and i appreciate that i appreciate your openness and you're honest i look at you as someone who who it's like I was getting I have I suffer from you know I get anxiety I depression I got you I'm colorblind we can talk about that like you are and there's like a lot of things and then

I look at your life and I'm like going this guy does everything and with all this other stuff how does he even go how does he even function how does he not always freaking out OCD on top of it so I know we're just getting right into it but I look at all the stuff you do and I'm like how do you do all this shit without freaking out well you're assuming that it's without freaking out you know because, thank God, we're in a business that has the capability post-production edit. My life is basically edited. It's really, really hard. But my analogy is, you know, I have a passion for a lot of the things that I do for most of what I do outside of, like in the industry.

And I think like if you have a passion for, you know, boxing, if that's your thing, You know, you can't, you can't be a boxer and not, you know, suffer, you know, a hit in the face, exhaustion, being knocked out, knocked down. I feel like I'm in that fight for my life each and every day, but I'm enjoying that game of life, but it hurts, you know, or even the stuff that I do have a passion for, like stand-up comedy and things like that, my analogy for that is, The ability, I love roller coasters. I love thrill rides. You know, and I'm a junkie for it. And I figured out why, and I'll get into that in a second. But the higher something is, the scarier it is, the faster it is, the closer I think I've come to death, the more exciting it is.

As anybody who goes on a roller coaster, you could have a roller coaster that had no hills and a nice breeze, and you just like float. along at eight miles an hour. I don't know that you jump off on the other side. We've got to go on again. But adrenaline, you know, there's nothing that brings you into the now. And the only place I can survive is in the now. You know, the problem that we all have in life is we very rarely focus on boom now. We talk about, like that's what we're talking about. We're talking about things in the past. We're talking about things I'll do in the future. We're really not dealing with now and we don't deal with now. And I need to be brought into now, whether it's on stage and not knowing what I'm going to say next, whether it's on a roller coaster. And in those moments, I'm in the

moment and I can't worry about, oh my God, what did I do before and how am I going to, am I in trouble for what I did? Or I'm not in a frame of mind where I can go, oh, this is probably going to happen in a minute or in a future, you know, so then I don't worry about that. And that's why now is the imperative. And that's the only place that I can survive is now. But that's the only thing that's real. That's strength, though, because you don't even realize that that is, because adrenaline can is a good thing. I love roller coasters too. I love, you know, but sometimes there's roller coasters where I like, you know, I would take out that one turn. That kind of hurt. I didn't like that little twist right there. It was uncomfortable. I felt like I could die right.

there i didn't like it i didn't enjoy it i wish it wasn't there but you can't you can't do that in real life things just come up and it's like they're twists and turns so have you ever had i mean look obviously you get uncomfortable on stage sometimes or maybe you just don't anymore you've done it so long but to me no i look to be uncomfortable my discomfort is comfort when i'm uncomfortable it brings me in the moment it's kind of like that little pinch to see whether you're dreaming you know what i mean i need that discomfort i'm not saying it's pleasant i'm not saying my ride on a roller coaster is pleasant. I don't want it to be pleasant.

And there are things like if you're in the middle of the best fight of your life, as I bringing you back to that analogy that I started with with fighting, you're going to get hit in the face. So that is that corner that you didn't like. That's that moment that you didn't like. There's no way to kind of think about and embrace each moment. Be afraid of the next moment. Be afraid of what happened.

Hate what just happened. Do it. Those are all real feelings that each and every one of us share. The problem is that for me, mentally, I focus on all those moments. I just need to be in the now and deal with it. Oh, well, how the, can we swear on my podcast? It's yours. I don't give a fuck.

How the fuck do we stay present, though? That's the, that's the gift that you have. You can be true. No, it's not a gift. I can't. I'm, you know, I'm medicated. I go through therapy. But I contend that the human species, you know,

We don't use our strength. And our strength is, I think that kind of separates us from the animal kingdom is instinct. You know, and we do have an instinct. And when you kind of operate, and none of us really do, operate on your instinct, you'll probably do really well. Instinctually, you know, you know what you want to do, you know what you should do, you know what you're going to do, and you do it. But what happens is a lot of us will have an idea or something we want to do. But don't rush it. let me think about what the possibilities are.

I better not do that, you know, because this could happen, better to this could happen. Or I shouldn't do it because, you know, the last time I tried something like this, you know, what happened. So we just either stop ourselves or we replan it and reframe it. So it's not exactly what we should do. And I think if we all lived in the moment and went, and if you look at anybody who kind of went with their instinct in life and in our past, That's the only thing that has moved their lives ahead, moved the world ahead. You know, everybody thought the world was flat. You know, Christopher Columbus had an impulse.

Let's just get a bunch of goofballs. We get on a boat. Let's sail off the edge. Well, if he didn't do that, that's not the norm. Right. Because the thinking was you could fall off the edge. I don't think, whether he believed it or not, he didn't know it. He just went for it, you know?

So Nike has become my analogy for how I live my life. and that's just do it. So I can't tell you how much of my life I spend, you know, terrified, anxious, depressed, worry. Howie, that's debilitating, though. That's what I'm saying. Depress, the anxiety, all those things, part of the role. But it's just overwhelming.

It can be debilitating. How do you make it less debilitating? When you go to a therapist and you talk to your therapist, what are you talking to your therapist about if you, if you, because it feels like you know what you're doing. Well, I would talk to, like I'm talking to you right now, I would tell you that I'm having a really hard time and I'm having a really hard time during this pandemic. And I need a coping skill, you know, give me a coping skill. And whether that coping skill is, you know, if you do goat yoga, your mind will go in a different direction. That's what I'm willing to do.

And whether it's being needed, a need to be medicated or for me, aside for my medication and my therapy and being surrounded by people who care about me and support me and love me, it's distraction. And that those distractions have to be like, you know, double-decaffeinated distractions. And whether that's going on a, you know, a spine tingling roller coaster or, you know, standing, getting out there in front of thousands of people that you don't know, you know, and trying to make them last, those are coping skills.

In fact, more, you know, during the pandemic, I didn't realize how much I did know that, you know, comedy changed my life. It's not anything that I, you know, set out to do. It wouldn't make sense of anybody who comes from, you know, I grew up in an apartment building in Toronto, Canada. I don't know anybody that was in show business. I was never in a school play. I just happened to go one night in the mid-70s because I'm not a dancer and I didn't like disco. I went to a comedy club. And just to see, it's because somebody said, we're going to a comedy club tonight.

I went, okay. And I went to a comedy club, and the guy, it's Yuck Yucson, Toronto, and Mark Breslin was the host. And he said, does anybody want to get up and, you know, it's Monday night. And at midnight after the show, you know, people can get up and try their wares if this is something you aspire to do or want to do. And as a joke, people at my table went, you should get up and do it. And I went, okay. And it's nothing I aspire to do. there was no preparation.

You had no material, nothing on your mind. No, and you're probably younger than me, but if you go back to YouTube and look at my first, like, how I started out, see, the joke was going to be, I don't have a GED, I was thrown out of school, I wasn't diagnosed, I'm 65 now, so I grew up in the 60s and the 50s,

and, you know, my parents didn't take me any place to diagnose me with severe ADHD and OCD and depression and anxiety, and I couldn't, I can't, it's really hard for me to sit still. It's hard for me to listen. I was up and around, so I got thrown out of three different high schools. So when I found this, when my friend said, you should get up, I said, okay, now, there was no thought process. I didn't go, this is my opportunity to become a comedian.

This was maybe funny in the moment because they were going to go, ladies and gentlemen, Howie Mandel, and I was going to walk out, I have a couple of friends in the audience, and I'm not even a comedian, and I have no material. And I'm just going to fuck with them. Wouldn't that be great to do? And that's even further than my thought process went. So I go backstage the next when I'm going to go on. And Mark Bresson goes, ladies and gentlemen, Howie Mandel, and I walk out.

Isn't that funny? I walked out. And then I realized I'm standing there, like, you know, I'm standing there on a stage. There's a microphone there. There's lights in my eye. I'm blinded, but I could see the front. row and now after they've applauded, they don't know me, they plotted my name, I'm standing there and you could see strangers anticipating, you know, right, what you're doing right now,

like the listener is right now, what the first? Yeah, do something. And then I got terrified like I do on a roller coaster. That it just, my adrenaline just bubbled up inside me and I realized, oh, fuck, this is humiliating. I've got nothing. So I started going, okay, okay. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. And I'm panicking. I'm trying to come up with something. And they started giggling at my panic. And I'm going, okay, what? And then he started laughing. And you've got to watch an old YouTube of me. And then I would go, what, what? That became your whole thing in the beginning. Well, that was a thing. And they were laughing and laughing and laughing. And I'm going, I got enough. What? What? All right. Oh, please don't laugh. Okay. All right. All right. I'm coming up with things. And that was just real pure terror. and kind of trying to plan out loud. I'm standing there with my hands in my pocket. I told you I have OCD.

This is way before COVID. This is in the 70s, in the 60s. I put my hand in my pocket. I have my rubber glove because I always carried rubber at Lake X gloves because I don't want to touch shit. You know, I used them to open doors and things like that. I bought them at the pharmacy there. And I just, I go, okay, okay, okay.

And I took the rubber glove and I put the rubber glove. I just pulled it over my head and I pulled it over my nose. I've never done that before. I pulled over my nose, and I'm breathing, and the fingers are going up and down. And I hear the audience even just roaring. So I start to inflate it with my nose, and it blows and pops off my head, and the audience applaud. Without knowing, I didn't know that you want to leave him on a high note, but it just felt natural. I went, good night.

And I ran off the stage. And Mark Rosen said, can you come back tomorrow? And I went, well, what would I do? It goes, do the same thing. I go, what was it? He goes, just have fun. I go, I don't think I had fun. I think I was terrified.

But when I realized, that was the first time in my life that, you know, I didn't have any friends. I really didn't. I was, you know, kind of a, I was miserable and I was alone, and my family was always supportive, but I didn't. So I went back, and then that became my conduit to some sanity. There was this place where I could go each and every night where there were a bunch of other ne'er-do-wells, kind of like myself, who weren't at that moment, academically, you know, that. wasn't their thing because this was I was still in school I you know so I thought that this was no I wasn't at this time I was I got thrown out of school and I was working and and making a living but I didn't care this was the most fun where I could connect with people I didn't even know

I felt that that laughter even in those moments even if they were laughing at me it was the first time I connected with other human beings that didn't have the same last name as me you know and and just that connection made me feel like I wasn't alone you know I And the loneliness is a big part of what I feel. So they were just laughing at me. So I made it, I just went on with, I'll be honest, I had nothing. And even if you look at my young comedian special, I did a young comedian special. When I came out here, that next year I had met some comedians who were playing at yuck yuck yucks.

I wasn't a comedian. But as I went every night, there was, you know who Mike Binder is? I love Binder. Good buddy's a binder. Yeah, so Binder, I became friends with Binder, and I became friends with this other guy called Michael Rappell, Michael Rappore, who I don't think is around, but he lived in L.A. Wait, there's a Michael Rappore, but not a Michael Rappaport, but there's also Michael Rappaport. I'm saying it was a Michael Rapporte. Okay.

He's like Rappaport with more rapport. With more rapport. All right, you gotcha. I'm with it. So they said, you guys should come out, and I made a vacation. with my wife. We came out there and Binder got me

on the comedy store and I got seen by it wasn't Mitsy it's Mitsy's best friend I'm trying to remember what the lady's name was and she goes you gotta be a regular

and told Mitzie about me Missy made me a regular but I wasn't at the comedy store just for our listeners at the comedy store Mitsy who ran the comedy store who just recently passed where God Rush or so

but her friend. Yeah and there was a producer in the audience from a comedy game show called Make Me Laugh, George Foster and he said he came up to me He said, and this is my one, I've been in L.A. for one day. He said, kid, you want to do television?

I went, that's, I'm fucking nuts. This is like a dream. This is like, yeah, yeah. So he says, come to my office tomorrow. So my first time I was ever on a set, I've been in L.A. From 3,000 miles away for, you know, 24 hours. I go to KTLA, where they do make me laugh. That's the first time I was ever on a studio.

I've never even seen a studio before. It was amazing. I was just blown away. And he had me try to make his secretary laugh. And I had nothing. Okay, okay, all right, all right. Puns and just silliness. But he thought it was funny.

He goes, can you tape a couple of days? And I taped, make me laugh. I got on TV and I went back and it was a great story to tell about my vacation. But again, not trying to pursue. These are just things that happen. My whole career and my whole life just happened. Just kind of just happens. And you could think it's luck.

But what I've learned to realize that somebody is 65 years old, it's not luck. I'll tell you with the, I think we all have opportunity in life. But the natural instinct, well, it's not our instinct. Our natural playbook is to figure out why we shouldn't do it. It sounds stupid. Like if I had to think about being a comedian, I mean, what are the chances? Really, what are the chances? Even look what you're doing today.

If you take yourself back 35 years or 30 years, And you said, this is what I, this is what I'm going to, you don't even try it. Two years ago, I would have said, what are you talking about? Someone said, you should do that. You talk to people. It'd be fun. You're good with the, what am I doing? And all of a sudden, it's been over two years.

And yeah, I never would have thought I would, I would do this. But so that's the thing. I got to say, like, even for you, I'm a huge fan of your acting. I mean, we have something in common. You know, I played a bad guy on Lois and Clark. Yes. Mr. Mix of Pitlick. But, but, but, but, but anyway, you're a great actor.

And, you know, in reading your, knowing what you do and before I came on today, you said, hey, listen, I had people over my house. I just started talking to them and I realized this is what I love to do, right? That the thought process of coming out here and getting into the business and saying, you know what I want to do? I just want to have friends over and people I'm interested in and talk to them and make that my, my job for the moment. It sounds ridiculous. It doesn't sound ridiculous on that. You never thought too much.

You never thought. You said, yeah, that sounds like, if you would have started dissecting these things, like, oh, if I do this, but I haven't done it very long. And all these other comedians, I'd have to at least go for a year before I should really, before I'm a real comedian and I should be doing, then you're talking yourself out of it already. It's already over. And then you don't do it.

You don't do it. You know, people always say to me on AGT, you know, this is an old saying from somebody before. You know, after I was there for three years, I said, I'm not going to see anymore. I think I've seen everything. Nothing's going to blow me away. And every time I say that, somebody shows up and it blows me away. And then I realize that we are all creatures who have this massive amount of talent, of productivity, of value.

And we as a species spend a good portion of our strength locking away that talent because of our fears and our, we think it's our intelligence because we've thought it over, you know, instead of just doing it. And doing it means making those mistakes. You know, but I still, I don't have the answers. I promise you, I suffer each and every, not a day goes by when I don't feel the pain of whatever it is that I. What do you wake up?

When you wake up in the morning, do you feel anxiety? My biggest anxiety is more when I go to bed at night. So the less active I am, the more I have an opportunity to go down the wormhole. So the quieter things are, the harder it is for me. So if I wake up in the morning and I, as long as if I have something to do in that time and I will schedule something so that I don't, I can't lie. And if I lied in bed, it would be horrible. Sex at 10.30. And then I'll sleep.

You just, whatever it is, you plug it in there and then you go to sleep. but you're on a schedule. I got to be. Yeah. Otherwise, I just lie there with nothing to do. And the worst thing that can happen and it happens now more than not

because I'm older and I can't get through an entire night without having a piss. So because I get up in the middle of the night and piss, lying there after I piss, it's not like I don't have meetings to attend. I don't, maybe I don't have a good idea to write down.

So then it's just quiet time. And then my mind takes over. And my mind takes over. And it ends in the worst horror movie. movie you could ever imagine, you know, having inside your own mind. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money, period. It's Rocket Money.

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Quince.com slash inside of you. You've been married 40 years, which blows me completely away because, you know, 41 next week for a happy anniversary and how long did you know before you got married how long did you know each other I've known her uh probably close to uh 55 years Jesus I knew her probably a level we grew up in the same area I mean we didn't we haven't been together for 55 years understandable I dated her friends she dated my friends I but I always liked she didn't like me so I pursued and I won. And she, you always had, these OCD things,

and the ADHD and all these things that you hit, were they. Okay. So they obvious. Yeah, were they obvious in the beginning? To her, but you see, in my era, you know, and I think most people's era, like today, I love that you do the show and that you're as open as you are about issues and real people.

And because I truly believe, you know, we're moving in the right direction, but we're not even close to the right direction of there being a stigma involved with mental health. So she knew about it, but you wouldn't call them that. It was just like I was a germ of germ freaks. You know, he doesn't want to touch anything that's dirty. He doesn't want to get sick.

He won't share a drink. He won't, you know, even my parents, I was quirky, and that's who I was. But quirky was as far as you would go rather than saying he has a mental health problem. And even today, you know, when we sit in a corporate office, some place in middle America, you know, you go, oh, I hurt my back. Everybody will give you a car to their chiroprack. Or if you said, I got to go out this afternoon and I'm getting a wisdom too cold, I just got so much pain, I can't work.

Nobody has a problem. Or they say you should go to my dentist. But God forbid, in the middle of the day when you work at a bank, you can go, listen, I don't know what's going on, but I just can't function. I'm so fucking depressed and I just need to see somebody. So I'm going to take the afternoon off. I don't think that's the same kind of acceptance that you get for a dental. you know, I always say we need to make it part of our curriculum now

where we take care of our mental health, the way we take care of our dental health. Yeah, I'm getting a look now. Yeah, I 100% agree with you there. I mean, that's, to me, the more we talk about it, you know, I had a guy who had an anxiety attack on the podcast, this guy, Stephen Amelis actor, and I said, you want me to just get rid of it? He goes, let me listen to it. And you can hear him going, hey, Rosie, I think I'm having an anxiety attack here.

and this guy's he plays the arrow he's a huge comic book guy you know and he listened to it he goes no i think it's important for people to hear it and i just admired that so much and it is i mean especially when you're growing up and it just seems especially in canada everybody's kind of tough hockey player i always imagine that like everybody just the last thing you want to do everybody's more private in canada you know i don't think everybody more private than i don't know that they're more private i just think that we are you know and i haven't really noticed the difference. I feel blessed that I, you know, I happened into this industry and I happened into something where, look, in the course of a day, I'm on your show even talking about it,

besides this maybe being, you know, a tidbit of information, I'll tell you who's getting the most out of this. Hopefully you guys get something out of it, but I'm getting the most out of it. The ability to be able to be open and have a forum where you could talk about it. And like, you know, the gentleman had the panic attack on your show you know that's how I I don't know I wrote my autobiography a few years back yeah you know that's what happened to me I had a panic attack on Howard Stern's show

and he was they were fucking around in the room there was somebody who had done I think it was anyway some guy pulled his dick out and he was playing with his dick on the show and he was there and then he left and I saw that he touched the door so when I finished my segment with Howard, I was about to leave and I was wearing like short sleeves and I said, could somebody

grabbed the door? I don't want to touch the fucking door. That guy had his dick all over the door. And they go, no, just open the door. I go, I'm a germaphobe. I don't want to touch the door. They go, I touched the door. They were having fun with me. And I said, no. And I went to grab a tissue to grab the door and they knocked the, uh, the tissue away from me. And then I was trying to pull out my shirt tail and they were holding me from that. And I started to have a, I never really talked openly about it before. And I started to have a panic attack. And I was going, and a panic attack feels for those that never had one, like I'm having a heart attack.

I can't breathe and I couldn't function and I was getting busy. And I said, Howard, Howard, Howard, Howard, you got to get me out of here. I'm going to end up in the hospital. I go to a psychiatrist. I have something called obsessive compulsive disorder. I'm on medication. Please, you've got to help me now. I'm going to pass out.

I'm going to pass out. I've got to open the door for me. You've got to open the door. So he went, okay, okay. And he opened the door. And I went out in the hall. And I was sure that we were in a commercial. when I was leaving.

He had finished with me and I was sure we were in a commercial but I heard as soon as I walked out the other door they were still, they go, whoa, whoa, what the fuck was that? What happened to Howie? And I realized we were on the air and that went out nationally.

And you have to realize for me that was the very first time that I had ever mentioned publicly besides to my own family, my maybe closest friends and my therapist and psychiatrist what my issue was. And I was devastated.

When I heard it coming through the speakers, I went, fuck. And my first thought was, this is the end. This is the absolute end. Number one, my family is going to hear this. And anybody they know, you know, I have three children. And my wife is in L.A. Now it's on the air that, you know, I have mental health issues that I'm going to be, number one, they're going to be ridiculed at school.

Your dad's a mental case. He has mental health issues. This is where my mind went. Number two, I'm never going to be able to get a job again. Any job, you know, they take insurance when I say that I have mental health issues and I'm medicated and I need to see a psychiatrist. Who's going to want to hire me? And number three, I'm just so humiliated and depressed. This is the end.

And I'm standing there and I get in the elevator in Manhattan and I'm going down the elevator. And I think this is the end. I don't even know how to face my own children. I'm just going to run into traffic. I don't know what to do. And I got down to the lobby and I'm looking through the lobby Manhattan, the most, teaming city in the world with thousands of people out on the streets and the traffic. And I go through the automatic doors, doors open.

I'm standing there on the sidewalk and I'm just, you know, getting up the wherewithal to take my leap into traffic. And as it was, some guy comes up into my periphery. I couldn't make eye contact. I didn't want to. I was just looking down. And he goes, you, Howie Mandel? And I went, yeah.

He goes, I just heard you on Stern. And I could physically feel my heart draw. up into my stomach, you know, and I went, oh my God, you know, I'm just going to run. One, and I went two, and he whispered in my ear. I could feel the air of his breath on my ear, and he went, me too. And this is before me too meant what it means now. And I went, I didn't know what it meant. I went, what does that mean?

Me too. He goes, no, I suffer too. I'm very depressed and I'm very anxious. And I have, it was so thank you for, you know, doing that publicly. I go, well, I didn't do it on purpose, but he goes, it made me feel like I'm not alone. And I said, well, you just, and I turned to him, you just, you just opened up a little door for me. You know, the one overwhelming in our darkest moments, if there was one description that you could give to anybody in their darkest moments is, is that they feel alone. They feel like, look what's happening to me.

Look at this dark hole. I'm going down. Look at what's happening. It's not, you're not, there is no company in that. There is no joy in having other people around. But now I had this other person around and he made me feel good. And I didn't run into traffic and I'm here today. But after that, this was before email and before the internet,

I started getting every week. I started getting a ton and tons of letters and mails going, thank you, thank you. And you had no idea. I wasn't helping them. But every time I got these letters, it helped me. I go, oh my God. How nice is this to be able to know that you're not alone? It's like the buddy system in swimming, you know.

It could be cold. It could be choppy. But there's other people there. And if you need help, just reach out your arm. They're there. And what a journey from that moment on the sidewalk in Manhattan to sitting here and talking to you today is night and day. That's the ying and the yang. And what needs to happen for absolutely everyone.

I honestly, that got me. I was, I got a little emotional. I went through a lot of what you just went through or went through that day. Like, I almost felt like I felt the anxiety of you going down the elevator. I felt like the complete, it's almost like the blood. You could feel it coming out of your, like, draining down. Physical. And you just feel like you're like, this is the end.

When you realize you wish you could be on the outside going, dude, you're alive. This is not the end. This is, but in your mind, the body and everything, you feel like I am, I don't want to be here right now. I'm done, I'm done. It's like, and then you go outside and I, I, it was so visual and you're right. I mean, I didn't know, I'll be honest with you. I've said this before, but I, I didn't, I thought I was doing this podcast because, oh, I can talk to people and maybe you all get sponsors and people will listen and I'll make

some money. That's what I fucking thought. I didn't know that all of a sudden, me being vulnerable and me starting to open up to all these people and really you hit the nail in the head when you said you're doing it for you I the more I was open and real the better I felt and the more people it would attract more people and I'd run into folks overseas at conventions or whatever and they'd say they'd come up to me crying like I was honestly like I was a like I had all the answers which I don't I'm just somebody who talks about problems and things and real life stuff and get great

guests like you who open up and talk about something that might help them. And I realized then that's purpose for me because I didn't know what, you know, at least it's a little purpose because I'm always searching for more purpose in my life. But to help people, you know, and it is, I think that's why each of us is put here. I think that, you know, if there is a purpose, it's connecting, you know, and whether you connect every one of us looks for a way to connect. And whether it's, you know, why do you want to go out and make a lot of money? Because, you know, when somebody's really into that, that's their way of, they believe that that's their connection. If I become in their mind successful because I'm rich or I own this company, that's their connection to the

world. Everybody's going to look to me. Everybody's going to come to me to buy this thing. We are all, regardless of what you do in life, you're an entertainer, everybody's going to watch me, everybody's going to listen to me. If you're a model, everybody's going to look at me, everybody's going to buy my, it doesn't matter what you do in life. We're all doing it to find some way into this, into the world, some way that they want the world to look at them. They want to be connected. Connected.

Because with mental health, mental health is the super disconnector. You know, that disconnects you from everything that's going on, everything that's in everybody else's, you know, periphery. and it just sends you into your own little tunnel. That's what mental health is. So we need to connect. You know, I do this campaign in Canada for Bell Media, and it's called Bell Let's Talk.

And we believe that the first step to mental health is just talking. And whether I'm talking to you on a podcast or talking to my therapist or talking to my wife or talking to a friend and not being recorded anywhere, that's the key. and we don't, and we don't share. For most people, you know, it's very funny because they always say, like, oh, look at your very show business. To me, the bigger show is the people that aren't in the business. See, I think that show business, creativity has given us the ability to peel away everything

and kind of be who we are or we want to be. Whereas when you're in regular life, you know, you know, just because somebody's a banker, you know, and they have to wear a suit and a tie every day. You know, they're creating, that's the bigger show because those are the people that, you know, my wife now that we're in lockdown, we're watching ID, you know, and he was a good member of society and then he wiped out the whole family next door. I feel like more people outside of this business are putting on shows than we put on because they're the ones that have to, they have to dress codes of where they work, they're being told,

they're acting a certain way because that's what they have to do at their job. That's the show. You don't know what's going on inside their real minds. They're putting on a show. Whereas more people in our business, just because we're given the license to, could be honest, you know, and can in the name of creativity, maybe be our real selves. Wow. That's pretty damn profound. Let me ask you this.

Do you think you being medicated? And first of all, was it hard to find the right medication to help you? And B, did it save your life or do you think you would have gone on or it was no, it saved my life. But that being said, it's always a, you know, I happen to be, that's why I don't know that I'm a good spokesperson for anything. You know, I happen to have one of my issues is something that is diagnosable and treatable and is a chemical. You know, people always say I'm a little OCD. You can't be a little OCD. OCD when you actually have OCD like other people think they're a little like, oh, it drives me crazy when someone. wants to shake your hand or I don't like when something's messy.

Well, me too, but the point is that if somebody shakes my hand and I'm triggered, and I, if I'm triggered, and I have to wash my hand, there are times where I won't stop washing my hand for six hours, you know, until it's almost bleeding. Six hours, six hours. I have, not in years, but I'm saying, like, I just, I'll go, just like, you know, if you shook somebody's hand and it was a little moist and it was icky you'd go oh fuck what was on his hand and you go wash your hand so i go wash my hand not all the time i'm saying when my issues are triggered i'll go wash my hand i just don't shake hands i can shake hands i just don't shake hands now because

i don't want to be triggered you know and then i go back and i go you know what i don't think i got it all and then i go back and wash i'll give you i'll give you another example that's kind of normal that people will understand but i've talked about this i've i've been leaving to go on an appointment for a meeting. And then I don't think I locked the door. Just like somebody thinks they left the oven on or they don't think they locked the door. So I go back and I check the door. And then I get back into the car and I go, you know what? I don't know if I shook it enough. So I get back out and I shake it again. There's a normal thoughts. These are normal and maybe even a little obsessive. And I go, you know what? I don't think I really shook it enough. And I get back out

again. And then I'm sitting there and I have an urge to go check one more time. And I go, this is fucking, I know intellectually, it's crazy. I did it, but I'm forced to obsessive and compulsive. I have to check it again. So I go to the door again, and the fourth time, I smash it with my knuckle so that I know that my thought process is if I feel the pain, the throbbing pain in my knuckle, almost broke my knuckle. If I feel the throbbing pain, then I'll know I have checked it and I won't go back. And I do that. And then I sit in the car and I go, you know what, it's robbing, but I bet I knocked it open. I bet I knocked it open. I better go down.

And then, but these are that's OCD. That's not a little OCD. That's OCD, right? Right. And it stopped my life. And I missed the appointment and it stopped my life. I worry about germs and then wash my hands until my hand is scalded and bleeding. That's OCD. But I forgot what the question was. Well, if medications, you said medication

saved your life. For that, yes. So I was going down the wormhole. My wife said I can't take this anymore. We have to The kids can't take this anymore. I went and got medicated, got the wrong, with chemical, body chemicals. It didn't work. In fact, threw me even deeper. I had to change medication.

Even now, you know, right now, I'm on a really good dosage and medication. But as I get older, your body chemistry changes. I may, you know, it ain't over till it's over. I could slip down the slide again. I always just have to be aware. and maintain. And maybe I'll have to up my dose. Maybe I'll have to change my medication.

It isn't done. By the same token, I'm also finding tools throughout my life that will help me. You know, for me, running is huge. You know, I need to run. I run every day.

I just run on a treadmill. And I don't listen to music and I don't watch TV. I just run and hear my feet smashing on the floor. I feel my breath and my heartbeat. And for some reason, maybe that's like meditation.

That takes me out of the moment. Wow. Well, I'm glad you talked about that openly. I mean, that's, I think that's tough for a lot of people. Well, I'm a mess, but I think a lot of people are a mess. And I think that, you know, for me as even not being diagnosed, this is what I'm a opponent of. There isn't anybody alive that isn't at one point in their life going to be needing a coping skill. And that is, you know, whether you're devastated because a relationship broke up, whether, and you end up self-medicating and drinking. And whatever you're doing to yourself that you're going to eventually need help, whether even becoming a parent. You know, I have three kids. There's no, that's a lot of responsibility. That's a lot of weight, you know, or being told that somebody you love or yourself is incredibly ill, getting a cancer diagnosis. Like nobody goes, it's not part of the curriculum to go to say, how do I mentally help this?

You know, and I go speak on Capitol Hill as far as insurance companies wanting to, I want them to parody. the same kind of support. It's really easy to get your insurance company and take care of a fractured femur on your leg. But if you say, I just can't function because I caught my wife cheating. You can't get funded

to go sit at a therapist officer. And that could be as if not more debilitating than a cracked femur. Yeah, I agree. By the same token, even if you are legitimately, you know, you get, if two people have the same surgery, but one of them is not that mentally fit. It is tried and proven that the healing process doesn't go as well.

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I read a couple of things that kind of pissed me off because I felt like it was harassment. I felt like you whipped your head around. No, I mean, it was they violated you. Like, I read an article where Marshall Falk like, yeah, and I remember that. And let me tell you, yes, the truth is yes, and he got hit for that a little bit on social media. But the truth is I kind of have this understanding. You have to realize I'm, for the most part.

a lot of people know me as a comedian. So, and I've made it... You're approachable. Well, and not only that, I've talked about it within the context of comedy, you know, and we've made it light. And that particular incident you're talking about was on deal or no deal.

And it became kind of a funny thing because people were excited there and they wanted to hug me and I'm like, you know... And what happened? I wasn't... What happened exactly? Oh, he said, you know, he goes, he's a German, I don't know,

shake your hand. I'm going to shake their hand. and then he was chasing me around the set, and he grabbed my hand, and he shook my hand. And the truth is, I didn't get triggered that particular day. But people are right, and they're going, listen, I, and it's the people that are suffering the same thing as me, when they understand it's real,

and even though I make jokes about it, like it's, you know, what is real and what's not real? Is he making jokes about being a germaphobe? Who doesn't like jokes? And is he exaggerating it? It's kind of funny to play that joke on me. You know what I mean? Like it's chasing Murray Langston around the office

to pull the bag over his head. Right, but it's not funny. But it's not funny if you're triggered. If I would have been triggered, it probably would have ended badly, but I wasn't triggered. But I kind of understand humanity, and I understand people don't know about it.

We're talking about this in America. You're right now today, and people who are listening to this podcast, it's a much different world. But, you know, and people are taking mental health really seriously. And mental health has become part of our pop culture. You know, people are open about drinking. People are open, you know, Britney Spears all over the news right now. And there's much more of a compassionate lilt to it than there was the first time that

she was in the news with all that. So it was a different time. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. That is kind of a, what that did for me, rather than feeling anything negative about Marshall, I just realized that's the world. The world doesn't understand. The world, if I'm not bleeding and I'm not unconscious, then they don't understand suffering. Did he call you? And even on this podcast, I don't know if people watch this Zoom call,

but I'm sitting in a house. I'm smiling. I have an amazing career. I feel like one of the luckiest people in the world. And what kind of bullshit suffering is that? Well, you know, everybody has their own, you can't feel my pain. do you ever get mad on america's uh i almost said america's most wanted on america's most wanted

america's got you know america's got talent do you ever get mad at the other guys like really going what the fuck are they seeing this is terrible how are they loving this does that happen no i'll tell you because this is the sick way when i first i i tell the story a lot but when i when i first like really popped on the scene and i was doing sane elsewhere and i was doing all that this is this is the way you know and i was getting when i blew up i I became the, I was the butt of a lot of jokes. You know, before there was, I'm not going to name the other comics

who have become the butts of jokes because I don't think there needs to be that. But because I was silly and because I had props, there was, I was very, I can't tell you how many times I was mentioned in Letterman's top 10 list, you know? And then it was like the last thing, no, we'll let them, we'll take them to a Howie Mandel show.

You know, it was the funny thing. But what I realized is I went on sale, at one time, Radio City Music Call. I did Radio City Music Call and I put it up on sale and it sold out in like an hour or two hours and we put a second show up on sale and that sold out in a couple hours and, you know, there's in the 80s.

And we went to New York and I did the first show and I'm up in the dressing room and we're looking down onto 7th Avenue. And on 7th Avenue you know, 7,000 people are coming out of Radio City Music Hall as 7,000 people for the next show are coming in. So there's

15,000 people in the center of Manhattan. And you could see the cops had put stanchions up. And they were directing traffic. And there was a jam. And my wife is sitting there. We're looking out the window. And I'm looking out the window at the crowd. And she goes, this is all for you.

This is like, what are you thinking? And I said, you really want to know what I'm thinking? And she said, yeah. And I said, and this is the first time it came. I said, there's 14, 15,000 people down there. We are in, I think, at the time, a city of what, 10 million? How many are in New York?

You're asking the wrong guy. I think it's like at least 10 million just in the Manhattan. So that means that 985,000 don't give a fuck that I'm here right in their city. There's always, but that kind of made me realize that as much as you feel that you're loved or you've hit or you're doing it right, there's everybody's an individual and there's going to be more people that don't like it. So do I get mad that they like something? No. Am I, I, I'm fascinated now by what somebody else likes that I don't. And that draws me more. And I can't tell you how many times I watch, because I'm trying to distract myself, I'm either on YouTube or television 24-7, I keep things on.

There's always things on, the TV's on all night or whatever. I'll turn it to the Iranian station and watch some obscure show not in English that I can, and try to, kind of figure out what's going on and why people besides understanding the language would even tune into this shit. Why did they even make this? So I'm fascinated by what draws or what is that magnet to people. Even me, you know, now when I tell you how I started my career, I started my career with nothing, nothing. And if you told me that one day against your will, they're going to pull you on stage and you're just going to get scared shitless and not be able to come up with nothing and that's going to buy your first house, it would make no sense. And what I realize is and I don't know that I can articulate what it is that drew those people to me. But I can tell

you that that feeling that, okay, what, which I don't do anymore, was really authentic. Maybe we all feel like fish out of water who are struggling to maybe say the right thing in the moment, who are struggling to not look like an idiot, who are struggling to just come up with something and move ahead, maybe it's just that, you know, that relatability that, you know, is not something that I can't express in words. I don't know what it is. But what I did learn is to be true to myself. And even if something is silly and it's not informative, you know, I was not a respected comedian ever. You know, I was the guy that had the glove on my head. I was the guy that carried a handbag and the, you know, and then you had other comedians

that had, you know, that did political. Yeah, but respect, you see, wait a minute, respected by whom? Like if you're thinking your peers, oh, they don't respect me because I'm, but only, only I, what I did garner from day one is I garnered a small slice of an audience,

which I've maintained or or brought together from various things, but I can't look to those other, yeah, my peers didn't, but it used to, it used to kill me, being the brunt of the joke. It used to kill me, you know, being the, you know, I'm not, my persona is that of being really silly and an idiot. And likable. I put that out there, and that is part of me.

That is real. I am a silly idiot. I do like awkward moments. I love silliness. I like it sometimes because it's just stupid, you know, because it's stupid, that's what I like. But then again, there's kind of a veil of, does he know it's stupid or is it just stupid or is it just corny or is he doing it because it's corny? It's like when Steve Martin used to put the arrow on his head and go, I'm a wild and crazy guy. Right.

Well, he did it as an accident so you knew that Steve Martin didn't really think that that was a brilliant. But it is a brilliant observation of the guy that's trying to be the party guy. He's trying to be funny in the center of attention at a part. party. I love that kind of humor, but you've got to, my favorite kind of thing is when my family knows this. I don't really like, I don't need the laughter. I like a response. And whether that response, when I walk, my wife is constantly saying, not recently, not in the last year, but who's the fucking joke on? They just, you walk out of that store and they think you're the biggest fucking idiot in the world. And, and, and, and, and, and, I kind of like that.

I like when they don't know that I'm kidding And they just think that I'm an idiot I love it I don't know why I like that But I love that Hey this is shit talking with Howie Razi can you still do the voice of Bobby From Bobby's world

I'm guessing yes but you won't So we can move on Yeah I will I could do it I can do it That that voice is a voice that I got I talked about it in my act I was choking on a piece of cake

At school At a birthday party and everybody was laughing to me, and I used to do that from the back of the room. But it's funny, it became the voice from Bobby's world, but it was also, you know, I did the Muppet Babies. I was Skeeter on the Muppet Babies. Yeah, and you were Gizmo and Gremlins.

Same voice. Come up a girl. Unbelievable. You probably made so much money off just doing that voice. I did really good. And right now they brought him back. He's on a Mountain Dew commercial. So I did it again.

But I did that. But I did other voices, too. I did animal and bunce and honeydew. Jesus. I remember the Bobby that I remember when I was a kid. It's going, I can't do it. But I was like, my name is Bobby. And sometimes people say, hey, Bobby.

And I'll stay a while. Hey, Bobby, what? Yeah. I can do. He says, what are you doing? Mommy puts you on the potty. Every time my mommy puts me on the potty, I cry. Why do you cry?

Because it's my party. I don't cry if I want to. That didn't, was that entombed? That came up kind of weird. I just remember all of that. Everybody quoted that. That was quotable. It was fun.

It was like memorable. I love that. Lisa H., one of my favorite movies he has been in his walk like a man. Any fun memories from working on that movie all around great cast? It was an amazing cast.

No fun memories as much as a lot of pain still in my lower back. And these aren't real teeth in front of me because Christopher Lloyd, and played my brother in it. There was a thing, for those that don't know, I was raised by a pack of wolves, and I did this whole movie on all fours.

And I was, most of the movie on all fours. And I had a bite down on this bone, and then he rips the bone out of my mouth. He was supposed to rip it out on the count of three, and he went one, two, and ripped. And you could see in the film, there's a piece of white, it looks like there's a piece of meat flying,

but it's actually my tooth. My tooth flew out of my head live. And I got up, they yelled, cut. And I got up and I didn't realize what it happened. I felt a huge vibration in my face. But the tooth broke, but the nerve stayed in my, in my mouth. Nerve was hanging down like a hair. And I smiled and the wind hit it.

I never had, I know what childbirth is like now, I think. Oh, my God. Howie, I can imagine you going, what'd you do that for? He's like, well, I thought you'd get a better reaction if I pulled it out on two. That's amazing. That's a really good impression. don't even do that one but thank you do that one how do you do that one and then say you don't do that well i do it just to make it make the joke and then i uh all right you know i i do it i know i do

a lot you do a good christopher walk yeah but everybody does walking now you know what do you do that no one does i think i have the best rodney danger field for sure i love rodney did you know rodney i never and i and i got i want i mean he's one of all to my wish i knew him i know you know i love the man I got to hang with him. I got to, it was amazing. Do Rodney. I love Rodney. My wife told me to take out the trash.

I said, you cooked it, you take it out. All right. I love it. I love it. Every time that he was on the Johnny Carson show, I mean, that was, I set my whole day around waiting for him to do. He was great with Johnny. Non-stop. By the way, if you had to, I know you're going to say Johnny Carson's your favorite of all time, right?

Let's just get through it. No. Who's your favorite of all time? I like, you know, Letterman made me laugh more than. and Johnny. You know, Johnny from my, from my era, Johnny was the kingmaker, you know, that's going on the Johnny Carson show, was the litmus test for being considered a comedian. You know, when I was coming up, I had done, you know, Mike Douglas and Merv Griffin and John Davidson and all the shows that were out there, Norm Crosby's comedy shop, but I hadn't done

the tonight show. And people would say, who didn't know me in the street, would go, what do you do and i'd say i'm a comedian and anybody who was who was out of the business would go well have you been on johnny carson like this was that that was a litmus test if you hadn't been on johnny cars you weren't considered a professional but i ended up doing it 22 times um 22 times ladies and johnny and oh just i i'd love for just i'm saying your name and he had you sit down with him yeah i'll tell you you want that that story about getting on johnny yeah that was hard. So getting on Johnny was the thing that was going to, you know, put your career in stone. And there was a guy by the name of Jim McCauley, who was the casting guy. He was the guy that

booked the comics. And I always had him come out to the comedy store. And not only did I not get on, he told me, Howie, you're never going to get on. The thing you do, the silliness, you know, we like monologists, the silliness and the toys and everything you do is so anti-Johnny, you're never going to get on. I was devastated. And then Joan Rivers started hosting the Tonight Show. She was filling in for Johnny.

And when she was filling in for Johnny, the ratings were through the roof. She was a big star. So much so, but this is before that, so much so that Fox ended up hiring her. And, you know, when Fox became a network, the Joan Rivers Show became their late night.

They took her because it was so big. And she ended up being an enemy of Johnny I know. So she would come, she lived in New York, but she would come to L.A. when she was filling in for Johnny, and she would work, as everyone did, they would work out their set at the comedy store. So, and I was close with Mitzie at the time, and in, I think it was in 1985, she was on a certain week there, she was going to fill in for Johnny,

and she was going to come in every night and doing like a 9 o'clock spot at the comedy store to just go over her monologue for the next day. So I asked Mitzi if she could book me, everybody did five-minute segments, five-minute sets, if you could book me at 8.55 right before Joan comes on. Maybe Joan will see me and want me to be on. It won't be like being on Johnny Carson,

but I'll be on the Tonight Show. So she did. So that Thursday, I wake up in the morning with 104 fever. I'm like fucking dying. And this is the one time I'm going to, Joan Rivers, I'm supposed to play that night. I'm sitting there, shivering and I go, I'm not going to have this opportunity again. I'm not going to be able to

call Mitzie next week and say, put me on at 955 again. Let's do it. I just, I got to take this opportunity. So I got into the car and I'm shivering and I'm driving through Laurel Canyon and I think I'm going to crash the car. I'm so dizzy. Anybody who's had a high fever just knows you're you're like rubber. I don't know how I was even sitting in an upright position. I get to the comedy store. I'm sitting there and I don't know how I'm going to get on. It comes to be 9.55. Joan Rivers comes into the room. I'm going on once and she's going on right after me. They go, ladies and gentlemen, Howie Mandel. And I get on, and I think that performers will understand that, but there's an adrenaline that just came over me. I got an adrenaline. For the first moment in

the last 18 hours, I didn't feel sick. Right. And I just started popping off whatever I was doing in my act, and they were roaring and they were screaming. And I went, good night. And the crowd went nuts for me. And then I go ladies and gentlemen, Joan Rivers, and Joan Rivers, you know, at the comedy store, I walk off the stage, and she's passing me in the aisle as she's coming on the stage. We introduced her, and I

introduced her, and she stopped right in the aisleway, and she goes, you are so fucking funny, and I went, thank you, thank you. And then she had to continue, and she goes on stage. She walks on the stage, the crowd is like beside themselves. They're screaming and yelling, and

and I was like, my heart was beating and that was great. She said I was wonderful and I'm waiting at the back and she's going on and on and she's killing and it's 10 minutes and it's 15 minutes and it's 20 minutes and my adrenaline is kind of flowed out of me and now the fever is coming back and I'm sliding down the wall and I'm in the room so I make my way to the front steps to go out towards sunset and I can't even walk down the steps and I'm sitting on the steps against the wall leaning there in a cold sweat I'm just sick I'm shivering and I'm just waiting. I just want to make eye contact with her one time.

And she spent like 20 minutes, 25 minutes on stage when she got off. Mitzie's talking to her. Every comic's talking to her. And I stood there for about an hour. And then she comes out that, you know, it's the front stairway that goes out in the Sunset Boulevard. And I'm lying on the steps. And she looks down on me and she goes, oh, you're still here. You were funny.

And I go, thank you. She goes, have you ever been on the Tonight Show? I go, it's my birthday next week. And she said, call Billy Sam. who was her manager at the time he's a funny guy if you saw her uh he disappeared from her if you saw her did you ever watch her documentary yeah yep brilliant i remember he's that he's the guy that disappeared yeah in the middle of it but she said called him and gave me his number and i phoned him in the morning and she said she wants you on this week and went fuck this is

amazing oh my god that's celestine prophecy celestine prophecy shit right there right so listen to this so anyway i so i go on it's just panic Because my stuff is still like stand-up, but I, you know, I set up the questions like Rodney Dangerfield did, and I would go into these bits. For the life of me, I can't remember what I did with her, but it was really good. That morning after the show, and it was so surrealistic. You know, you'd hear the music, you'd go, ladies and gentlemen, I was on the set, and you hear Doc Severn sitting going, and every kid, you know, that music, that theme song was in everybody's house. I think like 30 million people, 20 million people

were watching a night. So that morning, I get a call from Jim McCauley who says, Johnny watched you last night with Joan. He loved it. Is there any way you come back and do it with him next week? I went, are you fucking kidding? Are you kidding me? So I was so excited.

I love this story. So I got up and did it, and this is still on YouTube. And I said, listen, he's beat into my head that my shit is not with Johnny. likes. I'm so afraid that my shit is not what Johnny likes. But you know what? If I do it once and I'm never asked back again, I could

always say I did the Tonight Show and I can always answer everybody in the street and that is the litmus test and I will be a real comedian. So I go on the first time with Johnny and I'm sitting there and I do this stuff that Jim McCauley was so hands on with the this is this. Tell me your

last line of that. When is Johnny going to come in with the next question? Unlike we did on this podcast. There was an incredible amount of plan. And then I figured, you know what? Fuck it. I'm just going to take a shot. When do you get this opportunity?

So I did this bit that I didn't tell Jim McCauley about it. It's not even that funny, but it was me. I want to be true to myself. And I take out, you know, I brought this huge prop bag on, this handbag, shaped in a hand. And I take out these 3D glasses, you know, like they gave you in movie theaters at the time in the 80s, paper. One's red, one's blue, you know, those. And I say to Johnny, I say, Johnny, you like 3D? He goes, yeah, I love the 3D movies.

I go, you've got to try this. Put these on. And Johnny puts on these 3D glasses, and I'm sitting in the guest seat. You know, our hands are, what, two and a half feet from each other, you know? And I said, tell me if this works for you. And I reach into the bag and I take out the stuffed animal. And in my mind, I'm thinking, this could go horribly wrong at best. And I take it and I whip it right at his face and smash him in the face.

with this stuffed animal. And then I just, and it was like quiet. It took like a second for, I just threw shit in Johnny's face without a plan. And it could feel like behind me because the producer's just off camera and everybody's going, fuck!

Like we didn't tell him this was going to happen. And I said, doesn't it look like it's coming right at you? It took a second. He just broke up laughing and went back in his seat and was kicking and just loving it. And everybody blew up.

And that was it. He had me back every two weeks. weeks for 22 weeks until I got banned from the show. Unbelievable. That's who you got banned from the show. Yeah. The last time I got banned, I'll tell you what that way. So I did it 22 times. And then they called me once I was there, they loved me as a guest.

And they knew that they could call me anytime anybody fell out the same day and they would get it done. I would show up and do a spot. So they call me one time. and I was in the middle of doing a movie. I was doing a fine mess with Ted Danson and we were at this layered studios in Culver City and I get a call and I'll never forget this. This was the time that the person that was booked

was Sammy Davis Jr. And Sammy Davis Jr. that afternoon got diagnosed with throat cancer and had to cancel. That's when he found out he had. So they called me at 2.30 in the afternoon. Jim calls me and says, hey, listen, Sammy Hath, you'll be the lead guest. Sammy had to leave

you got to come in and I go Jim I'm always there for you buddy but I got nothing I got nothing I can't he goes you got to do it I don't know who else to call I've made a couple of other calls

nobody you're the only one who has answered I go Jim for you and for Johnny I'll be there but here's what I got to ask of you I don't have any time I can't sit down I'm in the middle of a movie right now and I know I'm rapping at

three o'clock so I'll come from right here I'll come to the studio and shoot, but I got, I don't have any material. I'll think of something, but I can't think of things, tell you the things, have you go over the set, change things. I don't have any time for that. So can you just trust me? He goes, there's nothing else I can do right now. Yes. Yes. So I couldn't think of anything. So I went, I was at the studio, at Laird Studio, and I go into their prop department. And in their prop department, the first thing I see is there's like this 25-foot-long giant plastic saber-toothed tiger

you know a prehistoric tiger that I said to I said to the guy there I said how much would that cost can you just put that on the dolly and ship it to Burbank and he goes well that's

be about 500 bucks and then there was a I just looked up and I had no reason why but this is kind of like beginning of this conversation where I'm not giving it any thought and I don't know why I always believe in opportunity

like maybe these things are showing themselves to me because they're supposed to. So there's a giant carrot. So I said to the guy, could you tie the carrot on top of the saber tooth and then ship that to Burbank? And he goes, okay, I'll throw that in. So then I called Jim McCauley and I said, Jim, there's a truck coming. It's got like a 30 foot saber tooth tiger and a carrot on it and just accept it.

And it's for me and just leave it backstage. I'm going to pull that out with me. And he goes, well, what's the joke? I said, I don't know, please. Just take it. And then they go, Howie, we need you on the set. and they called me and I was back on the set. I get wrapped.

I go down to Burbank. He does his monologue. It was a tough monologue. He didn't have a good set. It was one of those nights where he goes to the audience last night was so good, you know, but this wasn't, he had a tough time. I don't know that he was in a great mood. And they go, our first guest, always funny.

You know him from St. Elsewhere. You know him from this. You know him from that. He always funny. Howie Mandel! And the audience, Doc Severnson starts playing music. The audience is applauding. And the curtain opens, they page it back.

And there I am, and I got a rope, and I'm pulling this dolly with this giant 30-foot saber-toothed tiger and a carrot on it. I'm pulling it toward the set. Through the curtain, the audience is going, the music is going, and I get to the riser where he has his desk and the couch where the guest sit. And the head is coming over the riser. And I try to lift the head, the first wheels onto the riser, and I couldn't. So I say to Doc, to Ed McMahon, decide, could you help me lift? He looks at Johnny, like, okay, so he's helping me lift. By this time, the music has ended and the applause is ended.

It's just quiet. So you hear the two of us just kind of lift up that, but we're lifting it and we can't move it forward. So I say to Doc, is there any way you can come around and help me, like, just push it so we can get it on to the rise? So Doc comes around, and we're probably 30 seconds since the applause has ended and the music has ended. And that's an eternity, you know that, on television, of silence. and he starts pushing from the back end. So when they get the front wheels onto the riser, the head comes up, and now it's blocking the whole desk.

You can't see Johnny. And on these talk shows, they don't ever really move the camera, but you can hear on the headset, you can hear the director going, fuck, fuck, camera one, and I see them going up and they're like shooting down on top of Johnny, and they're moving cameras around to where they've never had to move before. And I continued to push from the back

until the whole front of the desk was blocked. And then I sit down and I'm like in a, I'm sweating. I'm sweating. And from a weird angle, Johnny is just sitting there and he's tapping his pencil, tapping his pencil, and he's looking at me. And he goes, so? I go, so, it's great to be here. He goes, and?

And I go, and? He goes, well, what's this? and he's pointing at the saber tooth and the thing and I go I don't want to talk about it anyway

I'm doing a movie now I want to talk about it really I said I'll talk about anything I don't mind this is just something I don't want to talk about it was blocked and I could see that he was not you know you got to you know that you show up for a show

this you don't want to have to work crazy hard you don't want to have to you know everything is planned he shows up every day he's not it he just i could tell he wasn't happy he didn't he didn't say anything to you he didn't say howie this didn't work no so here's what happened so so he goes you don't want to talk about it no i said i uh might be visiting my parents tomorrow or whatever and then finally i could see he was mad and i go listen my my grandmother knitted this for me or i throw out something he goes okay and i can't remember who was on but he goes we'll be back with Debbie Reynolds right after this. Now, the segment was supposed to be longer.

So we'd go to commercial, and I was supposed to do two segments. I did one segment. He said, we'll be back with Debbie Reynolds. As soon as we went to commercial, he made no eye contact with me. Stage hands came up, and they removed the saber-toothed tiger and the carrot. He didn't say a word. He was talking to Freddie, to his executive producer. And we came back from commercial, and he said this next actress you've seen forever,

and they brought out Debbie Reynolds. and I moved down the couch. And Jim McCauley said, you know, he doesn't want to work with you anymore. I did it with, I did it afterwards with Shandling and everybody else, but he didn't want to ever do it with me again. And he never told you why, I never called you nothing. That was it. Oh, I knew why.

I made it hard. He didn't want it. It was just annoying. He doesn't need to, it was just that. You know, the same thing happened with David Letterman. You know, I thought on David Letterman once, I did a letterman. I didn't do Letterman for 15 years. When David Letterman was first at NBC, and he did, he was on after Johnny, I went and did it.

I was in New York, and I sat down. I just thought it would be, and I didn't plan, because I always liked the real, you know, the real discomfort. And I went on there once, and I said to him, I'm on for about two, three minutes. And I said, it's great being here in New York. I have a friend that lives here in New York. Do you mind if I say hi to him? And he said, no, go right ahead. So I got up and left.

And I never came back. And the thing is that, which I thought was kind of funny and makes for maybe a good story on your podcast, but they weren't thrilled with it. Well, you know what? You pulled the fleet with Mac. You went your own way. And that's the whole thing. I mean, you really took a chance. You wanted to be different.

Plus, it wasn't like your first time on Carson or your 21st time. It was your 22nd time. You took a chance. You thought it'd be ridiculous and fun. It didn't work out. Right. But here's the thing. And this is, this kind of ties it up.

nine you know nine out of ten times for the most part and I'm being I think I'm exaggerating things don't work yeah but that one the way I get to that one thing that works is by trying the other nine things and then if if I try something and it doesn't work you know they have that thing if at first you don't succeed try try try try try try try try try try try try try and keep trying until it works. And what I learned from just saying, you know, I just say yes to everything. I just say, I've never say no. And no is the first two letters, nothing, because nothing comes from no. So I say yes to everything. That's how I ended up, I was a comedian, and then I ended up on a dramatic show. I didn't even know what that was. I wanted to do a sitcom, and I ended up on

St. Elsewhere, I was a replacement. And I got to work with Denzel Washington. I didn't want a game show host. I would have never, if you talked to any comic from the 90s or the 80s or in the early 2000s no comic would do it we were the punchline i mean the the the game show host was the punchline in comedians uh repertoire right i was the first one that did that it went through the roof and now i'm sure steve harvey should say thank you howie because they after a deal or no deal did so good then they hired jack foxworthy to do are you smarter than a fifth grader they hired louie anderson to do family yeah that's true bob sagitt to do um he did one versus a hundred and then it's always been comedians now that are being hired to do

game shows, but it wasn't before that. That is very true. Last question for you. Does your hair still grow back? Because in Howard Stern, you said that it did grow and you did it to be clean. It was more of a clean thing. That's when I first, when I first shaved it, I was not bald. I think that since then, in all my worry and all my fear and all my old age, I don't think it would grow back

in the shape that it was in. First of all, it's pure white. Good, good shape. But I can feel that it has receded. it has receded from where it was when I was a young type no I don't think it would grow I don't think it would look great I'd probably look like like uh like my hair would be further back like um what's his name uh equals mc square by uh Einstein yeah like I but it was way further back and I'd have that right that'd be interesting though hey look you've got this autobiography called here's the deal don't touch me which was out a couple years ago which you have I'm sure you have tons of these stories in there more stories but more importantly you have a new podcast

yes and it's with your daughter well so here's the thing just to be honest with you kind of like you you enjoy talking to friends i became so disconnected during covid that i'm sitting phoning people zooming people talking to my daughter just fucking trying to get through each and every day and whether we get on the phone together me and my daughter and do prank calls and order bullshit things called want ads, buy products, weird products offline, all the things we've been doing COVID. I just, with the one thing I miss is the opportunity, like a platform, just to do it on.

And in lieu of everything else, I'm just loving this opportunity, even coming on other people's podcasts. Yes. And it's called Howie Mandel does stuff. Right, which is we wanted to be that specific. With Jacqueline Schultz, which is your daughter,

and you guys just pretty much prank calls, have intense conversations, funny conversations, quoting people, doing just pretty much everything. We do everything. We do, whether it's, I have friends on and guests on, whether we do prank calls or, you know, we like the Juan ads and calling them and trying to land other careers or, you know, she's also, she's a teacher and an influencer, and she does these reviews and unboxings and things like that, which we make fun of.

It's just a fun, we're just having fun. challenges. I love it. It's just stuff. And it's stuff I like to do and stuff that I would normally do sometimes on stage, but I get to do it with a family member and friends. And it's going to be available. It is available everywhere. All right. That's it. You can find it anywhere. Are you going to be on YouTube or is it going to just be audio? No, we haven't. We're doing it. Are you on YouTube? I am. So this will be seen. We'll do it like this. Yeah. Like this. You got to do it like this. I love this. I didn't know nearly as much about you as I thought, as I just learned. And these and your stories and the way you look at life is sort of like, I think we're all train wrecks.

And it's just like we're just trying to stay on the tracks or at least close to them. And, you know, I feel like just some of the things you said just really hit home. And I thank you for being so open and candid. And it was a, it was a pleasure. Well, I thank you for giving me this opportunity to talk to you. And maybe when this is over, we can get together in person. I would love that. I would love that.

I would love to spend some time with you. You seem like a cool guy, and I've been a fan of yours for a while. Well, ditto. A bit, big, big, big a big, big. I know. I'd like to buy a vowel. Yes, that would be. And look, Howie, thank you for allowing me to be inside of you, and I can't wait to meet in person.

Thank you. All right. Me too. Bye, bye. Bye. I love that guy. I feel like, you know, sometimes you make friends. I feel like I could, you know, I email Howie.

Howie. I listened to Stern. I heard him talk about you. Oh, really? I like Howie. I never thought I'd like Howie. You just watch him on TV and you're like, okay, I don't know if I'd ever like Howie. Seems like I'd like him. I'd like him. I'd like him. I don't know if I'd ever like to be friends with him. I mean, again, he's a big celebrity and, you know, he's whatever. And then you meet him and you interview him and you're like, hey, we're just two dudes. Hey, two dudes. Two dudes that are a little neurotic. Did you like him? I liked him. You did. We had some great stories. I like those old, uh, I like old showbiz stories. Old showbiz stories. Yeah, I like them too. So, hey, thanks, guys. Thanks for listening. And once again, if you like the show, please subscribe, Spotify, Apple. It's right here.

Also on YouTube. It's a wonderful thing. It really helps the podcast and helps us grow. And I hope you grow with us and join us every week. Remember my band, Sunspin. We're playing on StageIt. Go to StageIt.com and get tickets. Just type in Sunspin.

go to the inside of you online store, get Lex merch, Smallville's, T-shirts, tons of stuff. And, of course, sunspin.com, 15% off. Type in Sunspin 15 and get 15% off all merch. We've got lunchboxes and shirts and coasters and tons of great stuff. So there's that. My patrons, thank you so much. I really love doing this. It's a lot of fun.

You know, sometimes I hear these conversations on like Stern and they're talking and they have people call in all this stuff. And I think, I mean, I'd really, I'd like to do that. I'd like to be able to talk to Ryan and I like hey you know let's get my mom on the phone here mom why are you fucking nutty you're like oh Michael I got the thing and I'd love to I think it would be a really fun variety show I think I could kill it you know having my mom call and having like you know and then Ryan reads the news here's what's in the news and should we not do that you know we're not do that you know we're not do you know a celebrity call in or whatever we're going to read the news well you know here are news clips this is a a a headline and then we talk about it and then we have somebody else we call in go what do you think about that oh we're here with uh you know a celebrity call in or whatever we got a that's some crazy person calling in i just thought tell me what you think ryan's laughing at me uh here we go this is the top tier patrons these are the people that support the podcast the most but all of you are amazing and appreciate you uh robert brandenberg not forgetting you this time peggy's cough house nancy d mary b lea s trisha f gosh you good sarah v little lisa you Kiko. Jill E. Brian H. Lauren G. Nico P. Robin S. Jerry W. Robert I. It could be Robert L. It's Robert L.

That's capital I. Jeez. Jason W. Apothean. Kristen K. Amelia O. Allison L. Lucas M. C. C. Joshua D. Emily S. C.J. P. W. Whoa. Look at you. Samantha. M. Jennifer N. Jackie P. Stacey L. Carly H. Gen S. Jamal F. Janelle. Cary. P B B tab of the 2702 to be confused with Ashley Ryan Kimberly E Mike E Marissa and Aninello L don't Supremo Dan Ramira Beth B Santiago M Sarah F Chad W Leanne P Ray A Maisha that's just Maisha isn't it well there's a last name Aisha I don't know guess I usually I go as far as maisha C that's right Mattie S.

Kendrick F. Ashley E. Shannon D. Matt W. Belinda and Kevin V. James R. Chris H. Osbord. H. Dave H. Samantha S. Spider-Man. Chase. Sheila. G. Ray. Tabitha. T. Wow. I couldn't do this. You're so good. Misha H. Tom and K.D.F. Lilliana A. Michelle K. H. H. H. H. H. Andrew T. Betsy D. I betsy Claire M, Liz J, Laura L, Chad L, Rachel E, Nathan E, Brandel, Taylor K, Neal A, Marion E, Meg K, Janelle P, Trav L, Travel, Travel, Travel. What's that like? I don't know. Dan Ann, Jennifer J, Wayne M, Diane R, Ojetta, O Jedda, O Jada, O Jada, Lorraine G, Olga C, Corey M, Kerry H, H, Veronica K, K, Kendall T, and Lindsay M. those are the top tiers those are the folks that really help but you all help thank you westwood one thank you uh ryan my substantially gifted engineer slash editor yeah he is he's great and by the

way where can you find you maybe people will follow you more what's your handle me uh at tea's ryan on at tayas ryan that's a at t-e-l-l-e-z that's right i got nothing to report so i'm not posting Maybe they like you and they want to follow you. Maybe get more followers. Check how many followers you have now. We're going to see how many followers he has now. And then we're going to see how many followers he has after this air is on Tuesday. And he's going to text me and see if he has five, ten, or more.

I'm guessing you have 138. Followers? Yeah. How many do you think I have? 138? How many? I have 4,746. 4,700?

That's a lot. I had a YouTube career before. That's right. That's right. I wasn't even thinking because you said, oh, it's not many. You were downplaying it. But so he's got 4,700, right? And it's 6300 on Instagram. Okay. So 4,700 and 6300 on Instagram. Uh, so let's see how many afterwards. I have not posted on Instagram this year. All right. Well, you might get more followers. You just never freaking know. Uh, this episode is dedicated to my dog Yerv. Uh, I love you, buddy. I love you more than anything. And, um, you'll be in a better place you had a great life we had a lot of fun and i'll see on the flip side buddy from uh my home in hollywood california i'm michaelosenbaum i'm ryan tears

led to the camera ryan thank you for allowing me to be inside of each and every one of you i appreciate all the love all the support of the podcast and and me and my life so thank you Here. Believe has the podcast to enhance your football experience. From the pros. One of the most interesting quarterback rooms. To college. Michigan is set at eight and a half wins.

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