Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - JAMEELA JAMIL: Good Place Breakthrough, Body Image Battles & Calling Out the Industry

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

Jameela Jamil (The Good Place, Elio) joins us this week for a wildly honest conversation about chronic illness, passive self destruction and why she is done biohacking her life. Jameela opens up about living with Ehlers Danlos syndrome, surviving childhood abuse, the nervous breakdown that turned her into a truth teller and how EMDR therapy completely rewired her relationship to trauma and fear. We also get into her war on beauty and the unbelievable way a school bully pushed her straight into The Good Place. Thank you to our sponsors: 🍽️ Hello Fresh: https://hellofresh.com/insideofyou10fm ❤️ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/inside and get on your way to being your best self __________________________________________________ 💖 Patreon: ⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/insideofyou⁠⁠ 👕 Inside Of You Merch: ⁠⁠https://store.insideofyoupodcast.com/⁠⁠ __________________________________________________ Watch or listen to more episodes! 📺 ⁠⁠https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/show⁠⁠ __________________________________________________ Follow us online! 📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠https://instagram.com/insideofyoupodcast/⁠⁠ 🤣 TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@insideofyou_podcast⁠⁠ 📘 Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/insideofyoupodcast/⁠⁠ 🐦 Twitter: ⁠⁠https://twitter.com/insideofyoupod⁠⁠ 🌐 Website: ⁠⁠https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And I don't want to do anything to stop myself from looking the age that I am because that feels like a kick in the vagina of life. It's such a privilege to grow older. A lot of my friends haven't been able to because they died. And so I don't want to treat my old lady's self. I don't want her to feel like I was dreading her. That is just something that I didn't know about myself until it was too late. And I was DJing for 6,000 farmers, men and women. And just kept on happening.

No one could tell. thankfully it presented more as an asthma attack. But once you pop, you can't stop. I have found out the other day that, you know, like our generation's going to live until they're like 110 and I was fucking gutted. I don't want to see this shit. Your pro commiseration.

Yes. I don't want a silver lining shoved up my a-h-hom anymore. I'm tired of it, all right? Leave my anus alone. I don't always feel like shit. I just feel like shit in the morning and the evening. Okay. So during the day, I caught you at a decent.

It's still... Yeah. But other people can. consider it, you know, worrying, but I love it. Do you understand why they do it? You hit by car? Have you sometimes not found the right words? You live in pain, ultimately.

So you thought you didn't need anymore after that. Three months were enough. Yeah, clearly I'm fine. Look at me. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. I'm Michael Rosenbaum. That's Ryan Tejas. That's me over here.

Yes. It's a crazy week, you know? We all have our busy weeks, but like I'm definitely, what's the word? overwhelmed not disengaged I'm engaged but I'm disparate diaspora

I don't know listen Jamila Jamila is a great guest she's whether you like or not she speaks her mind and you got to appreciate that she can go her own way she's a fun one

I had a lot of fun with you so a few things if you want to follow this podcast and listen to it please support us if you like the interview write a review that really helps the podcast it's a small podcast that has been ticking keeps on going man and um we are i guess doing well because of our patrons and the patrons support this show and they

give back and that's the reason so if you want to join patron patron dot com slash inside you i tell you it is a wonderful community you'll meet so many friends and so many conversations on the patron and there's A lot of perks. You could, you know, for certain tiers, you can get a box from me with little gifts every couple of months. You could be on the podcast. Yes, interviewed on the podcast. And much more, your name shatted out. And you're really supporting this podcast. And I appreciate you. And I'll write you a message. I'll send you a message thanking you. And we'll go from there. Ryan's dropping shit. We are ready for the show. Go to my Instagram at the Michael Rosenbaum, the link tree for cameos. Cons coming up. We're going to La Mole, Mexico, Tom and I. There's Cruiseville, cruisville.com, if you want to go on a cruise with us and many other cons coming up and much more. So I really appreciate you in the inside of you online store, inside of you online store for tons of great merch and autograph smallville scripts, ship keys, Lex Luthor Funko Pops and inside of you stuff too. So I hope you're doing well now that we've got all that out of the way. but I hope you're um you know you take each day and live it live it up i mean live life to its fullest

i mean i see all these things ryan i see all these things where it's like either it's a song live like you were dying or lately i've been hearing oh that's an old song though yeah i know but i've been hearing it on my um spotify shopify spotify i can skydiving rocky mcadowing i went Rocky mountain climbing I spent 2.7 seconds on a bone-name foo man chew And I love deeper And I spoke sweeter

Anyway, live like you were dying Anyway, thank you for joining us Sorry for the babble But I just want to thank you guys all for being here And joining us It's a little off day for me and Ryan We're just a little off But it's early for us

We usually do this later today Yeah, I need to get going I need to start talking more. All right, let's just get into this. Let's get into it. Tell me what you think. Let's get inside of Jamila, Jamil. It's my point of you.

You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. Well, her face is being painted. She wakes up to it. And she's like, nah. No, I love her. Yeah. It's not funny.

From Liverpool. Yeah. And she's so pissed because she's got. I've got school in the morning. I've got school. How do they say school? Yeah, I've got school. I've got school.

You're right in my face. Yeah. Do you find yourself just going down a rabbit hole with Instagram? Oh, definitely. Yeah. But other people consider it, you know, worrying. But I love it. You love it.

I love it. I don't consider it hours lost. I learn so much. Do you do it before bed? Yes. And I'm an insomniac and I won't stop. Well, don't you think that it might have something to do with it? It's absolutely got everything to do with it. I would say it's the foundation of my bad sleep, but I don't give a fuck. It makes me happy.

I mean, I also eat cake for breakfast. You know what I mean? Like, I'm going against, I'm pushing this shit to see how far I can take it. Whatever the opposite of biohacking is, is what I'm doing. Do you think maybe you act kind of tough and you're cool and you got everything going on and you say this is, this works for me, but maybe. Maybe sometimes you're just saying it. Like you don't really. Or do you really believe, like, I'm going to keep Instagramming late at night. I'm going to eat cake in the morning. I really believe that. I do.

I think partially it's because I don't hope to outlive my dogs. So we've got about a decade. We've got about a decade, you know, provided everything goes well. And I'm like, well, fuck it. Fuck it. So a death wish, maybe? It's not a death wish. It's a death acceptance.

Also, the world is becoming uglier by the day. I don't know how excited I am to be here when they're like, I found out the other day that, you know, like, our generation's going to live until they're like 110 and I was fucking gutted. I don't want to see this shit. So, you know, that's how I feel. I'm fine. I'm not, you know, actively suicidal.

It's sort of just like a long, passive suicidal, which is a much nicer kind because it involves lots of pleasure. Yeah. So it's active youth and age. Yeah. There's something where you're not being put to sleep, but it's more like a drawn out. I'm slowly drifting towards the light. But basically I've just become obsessed with pleasure and now that's all I seek. And I'm done with discipline.

Discipline was a capitalist lie. And I'm just trying to enjoy myself as much as possible. And I really love social media. Do you think? Do you think maybe having... I want to tell you that I want to get out into nature, but I fucking hate nature. You do. I hate it.

You hate being around... You like the ocean? I like the ocean. That's nature. Yeah. That's the only... But hike, you don't hike. Cannot stand a fucking hike.

I'll do it if I have to, because everyone in this fucking city only wants to socialize over a fucking hike. So I have to huff and puff my way up a chat. But I don't... I want to sit on... You know, I want to sit on a nice clean beach with the ocean in front of me, and that's as far as things go. You know, I'm just not a great guy. But, you know, it's weird because usually people that have been through a lot in terms of like your health and your sickness growing up and think, you know, what can I do to, you know, I went through all that. So I'm going to be healthy.

I'm going to be on a health kick. And I'm going to because you had, I mean, you had a lot of shit go wrong when you were a kid. Yeah. I mean, you get hit by a car, you had anorexia that you've talked about, ad nauseum, I'm sure. But so where it just doesn't compute with me, maybe, that I'm just like, because you look healthy and great. Yeah, it's a nightmare. Do you feel like shit? Yeah, I feel like shit.

Do you always feel like shit? I don't always feel like shit. I just feel like shit in the morning and the evening. Okay, so during the day, I caught you at a decent. It's still, yeah. Yeah, you're getting better now. I try not to work until 11 a.m. Do you nap?

Up until then, no. No. I don't nap. I'm chronically awake and I love sugar and I hate the trees. Do you work out? I don't work out, no, but I do walk my dogs and I chase my dogs because they love that. Do you eat a lot? I eat.

Cake. I eat, no, I mean, I eat, I'm not one of those girls who's like, oh my God, I eat like such a peg and I'm just so skinny. I, I, I eat as much as I want to eat. So I eat properly. I eat the amount I'm supposed to eat at my height. I'm very careful about that. I don't like to go under that because I had anorexia. And so I'm very, very well sated.

And, and I feel as though I have good, strong thighs that could keep me alive through a famine. Yeah. I think that's a good sign. Yeah. I'm anti, I don't ever want to be skinny again. I can't believe how much I wanted to be frail looking. I'm not skinny. You know what I mean?

Not skinny. I hate the word skinny because I was got that. No, but if you look around now, if you look around now at what's going on. People look frail. I don't look frail. I look like, you know, I'd be a challenge to kidnap. Not impossible, but at least a challenge. Right.

I'd be a pain in the ass to kidnap. Yeah. You would be. At the very least, that's what I want. Also, my personality is. so annoying. They'd give me back. Like that little boy who got kidnapped and he sang the same gospel song for three hours. Yeah. That'd be you. What would you sing? Um, I would sing, uh, was a matter you. Hey, got a no respect. What do you think you do? You can go. I'm going to let you out at 7.11.

You're out. It's such a great song. Good, good tune to choose. That's going to really annoy people. Yeah. When I was a boy, just. You know that song? What's somebody you? You don't know that's a... Yeah. It's... It's a shut up by your face. One, two, a three, a mama.

No? It's an Italian thing. Okay. He's young. Although you're young. I'm 40. That's pretty young. How old are you?

He's not a child. I'm 53. Oh, well, well done. You know, you said once, you never want to look your age, though. No, I said I love looking my age. And I want to always look. the age that I am and I don't want to do anything to stop myself from looking the age that I am because that feels like a kick in the vagina of life. It's such a privilege to grow older. A lot of

my friends haven't been able to because they died and so I don't want to, I don't want to treat my old lady's self. I don't want her to feel like I was dreading her, you know, dreading her arrival, staving it off. I like an older face. I find older people attractive. And so, and I'm very unattracted to younger people. And so I personally like that look. Right. And so I aspire towards that look. So, and I'm happy to get there.

Yeah. What do you say to like people who feel the need to get filler and work done and all these things? You've never done any of that. No. And you never will. Never. Do you understand why they do it?

Of course I do. That's all I talk about is fighting the beauty standard that makes people think it's normal to risk your health or your life even, because sometimes these things can kill people. The BBL has killed lots of people. Botox is now being linked to numerous neurological disorders. Filler, it turns out, doesn't dissolve after six months and people are finding traces of it or lumps of it 10 years later in MRI scans. I don't believe you should ever feel as though it's normal to risk your health for a beauty standard invented for money by some cunt that you're never going to meet. Because we have a pedophilic system that wants to normalise the attraction to teenage girls, right?

You have a small group of men because I definitely don't think they represent all men because lots of men have such a variety of taste as do women. A small portion of pedophilic men exist at the top of all of these industries. They want to have sex for teenagers, but they don't want it to look weird that they want to have sex with teenagers. So instead, they've normalized teenagers as the beauty standard for everyone so that it looks less weird that they want to have sex for people who look like little girls. And so I don't really want to hurt myself or pay any money towards something that would normalize a nonce. Well said. Thank you. It makes sense what you're saying, especially, I mean, you see it mostly, you know, in Hollywood.

Yeah, what's so great about youth? Youth was fucking shit. I agree. I don't ever want to be young again. I mean, I want to feel young. I want to feel good. So, but I don't. Why?

You know, when you said you don't feel good in the morning, you don't feel good in the evening. But I've got Ayla's Danlos syndrome, so nobody does. What is this? Aela's Danlef syndrome. It's a deficiency of collagen. So it just means that my body doesn't create enough collagen. So everything just doesn't fit. together properly. My ribs move all the time. My organs move. I dislocate constantly. So it wouldn't

really matter what I ate or what I did. There's no prediction. There's no prevention of what chaos can come from this condition. Do you take anything, any kind of anti-inflammatories? No, I don't take any. There's no medication, no Tylenol, nothing. You just live. I just live. Yeah. So you live in pain, ultimately. Yes. Would you say you can feel every day you feel it? Yes. And what is that feeling? A general ache and disturbance that makes it very hard not to be a ratty little cunt.

Have you ever been a ratty little cunt? Of course. Not often, though. I've become quite normalized to the pain, so you learn how to behave yourself. And I really hate being on the receiving end of a ratty little cunt. So I'm not a religious or spiritual person, but I do firmly. fixate on karma. And so I feel as though the less ratty little cunt I put out, the less I will receive in kind. Do you drink? No. I've never drunk. Never drunk. Never smoked pot.

Smoked pot before for about two years. But that didn't really do much for me. It just made me feel a bit depressed. And no hard drugs ever and no smoking ever. Have you always been sort of like you are now in terms of obviously you're older than, you know, in your 20s, but sort of that when people thought about you or they knew, Jamila, did they think she'll say whatever's on her mind? She's always been straightforward. She's a little bit controversial. Is it something that's always been a part of you? Probably not. I was always strange and rubbed people up the wrong way my whole life. I've never said the right thing at the right time. But I don't think I was as, forthcoming until I was 26 and I had a nervous breakdown and I thought, how do you get out of a nervous breakdown? Probably by doing the opposite of what you've been doing up until now. And someone told me that a lot of depression is repressed rage. It's repression. Not necessarily rage, but a lot of depression is repression. So I thought, what if I just unleashed what I really think and how I

really feel? And I stopped masking, you know, all of these things that I think and feel and I just let it out. would I want to live? And it worked. It's addictive once you start. It just, and it's crazy because I don't eat well. I don't really look after myself. I have been chronically ill most of my life. And yet I recently had my biological age tested and it came back as 20 and 20 is the lowest it can come back at, which means that it's likely that it's lower than 20. My metabolic age is 23, which is insane because I'm turning 40 in three months and I don't have any muscles in my body. You're an anomaly. I'm just sort of like a memory phone mattress, you know, so it's genuinely it's crazy.

It's crazy. So it's like putty with nipples. But the doctor who analyzed me, and this is public, this is on a public podcast, this doctor comes on and she tells you about yourself. And she said that there is a growing amount of studies that link people who express themselves all the time and youth. So it ages people to restrain themselves too much. It doesn't mean you should go around being a fucking psycho. No. But there is a considered, measured and precise way to get your point across and get something off your chest without having to lose your shit.

And the better you are at learning how to communicate the things that you feel, the less you even feel provoked to lose your shit. Normally you lose your shit because you've lost control because you didn't have the words. And so once you find the words, you don't need the overreaction. Have you sometimes not found the right words? Do you ever regret anything you've said in the past or the way you've presented it? You're like, you know, I was wrong. Constantly, constantly, especially I think post- the Me Too movement when, you know, like no one was ever up until then asking any woman what

they thought about anything other than how they stay so thin. And then suddenly they were like, what do you think about the social infrastructure of the history of patriarchy? And then shoved a microphone in our mouths and we're just a bunch of actresses and who had never been, not only encouraged to talk about this, but we've been discouraged from ever speaking about this. So, you know, if you've been bottling up your feelings about this thing for a very long time, it's not going to come out perfectly like a poised orator or politician. All that trauma, all that lifetime of rage is just going to burst out of you. And I think that's what happened when I first started speaking out,

especially about feminism or all these issues, because I was exploding. I'd held it in for too long. It was like a volcano erupting. So I didn't know how to manage those words in a way that would be palatable to someone who has no idea what I'm talking about. People who really can't relate to my experience, men. or people who, you know, whatever, all kinds of different people, like people on the other side of the political spectrum, let's say.

And so I spoke in a way that was alienating and I feel deeply embarrassed. And I've been on a kind of four-year mere culpator expressing that nobody should be communicating like that. And they say that, you know, you should speak from the scar, not the wound. And I think post-Me too, many of us were speaking from the wound because no healing had happened. Right. It was fresh. Yeah. It makes perfect sense how you articulated that. I think that that explosiveness sort of comes out of, you're not talking about it, you're not dealing with it. You're not. And all of a sudden, somebody says something to you and you're like, nah, you just throw it out there. Well, look at how much male violence there is, right? It's like we, we as a society have stripped them of their vocabulary from such a young age to be able to say, I feel like this, I'm experiencing this. I feel rejected. I feel lonely. I feel afraid. And so they just bottle it up, bottle it up, bottle it up, bottle it up, and then they are by a mile the more violent gender.

And that's because there's no, you know, there's no pressure valve like to, you know, like pressure release. Right. That's it. It's just like bottled up, bottled up, bottled up until finally they explode and the ones who don't explode, either go to therapy or, as we know, 60 something percent of the gun deaths in America are men turning the gun on themselves. They have no, there is no infrastructure. There's no outlet. No. And they're, I think it's becoming, you know, they're having more of an outlet now.

Well, they were, but they're being discouraged away from it. What about therapy? Again, I think we were having a huge boom. And I think a lot of young men in particular are being discouraged away from such a thing. They're being told that it's beta and it's weak. I'm starting to see that too. Yeah, it's really bad. You don't need therapy.

You need this. You need this. Yeah. It's like, oh, you need a car. drive off a cliff in your fancy Bugatti one day. Yeah. And they're encouraging loneliness. And really, that's just a bunch of middle-aged men who are being left behind by women,

who are terrified that other men will also leave them behind. So they're trying to keep everyone down with them. And I think it's always, it's always been very emasculating to me to tell men, oh, you need to subjugate women in order to level the playing field. Because you can't rise alongside women. So we have to take their rights away in. order for you to be on top, how dare they emasculate boys and men like that, as if men aren't capable of evolution? Who are these losers who, because they haven't been capable, think

no one else is capable? All the men in my life, and there are many, have grown exponentially in front of me to become people that I not only respect and love, but I look up to and I rely on. And that's happened right in front of my eyes, so I know it's possible. I believe in men, I love men, I respect men. The men who think subjugating women is the only way for you to be on top, don't like, don't respect you. Of course not. Wow. You know a lot about a lot, I would say.

It's because I spend so much time on social media. That's what it is. It's just hours of scrolling. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp has been with me for a long time as my sponsor. I want to give a shout out to them. They're awesome. But they're really awesome because they're helping so many.

people, my friends, patrons, uh, listeners alike, uh, you know, I think in, in this world, everybody feels like they've got it together, like other people have got it together. Oh, look at their social media pictures. Oh, they're so happy. They're so everybody has their issues, their problems. And the thing is, how do we figure them out? Well, if you're going to professional therapists that know a little something, you're benefiting yourself.

Better help does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and it's an industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. And if you aren't happy with your match, I know a lot of people think, what do I do? It's so embarrassing. No, it's not. It's so easy. Switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored wrecks. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform and having served over six million people globally. These guys are for real. If you, you want to change your life, if you want to get better, if you want to improve BetterHelp online

therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash inside. That's betterhelp.com slash inside. Mike Trott. You ready? Let's do it. Hosted by former Navy SEAL Mike Rital. It's unfiltered. You know, you go to the sound of the gun. Bam, you're gone. It's weird. I mean, I've had so many near-death experiences. It's raw. I love this country. I always. I always. I offered my life to serve this nation and protect its people. The question, you know, what's the meaning of life? And to me, it just boils down to one single word, which is purpose. Mike Drop, follow and listen on your favorite platform.

Your new podcast wrong turns. Yes. Right? You say you're sick of inspiration. Yes. This is the first. I've never heard this for it. You're sick of inspiration.

You're pro commiseration. Yes. I don't want a silver lining shoved up my asshole anymore. I'm tired of it. All right. Leave my anus alone. It's fissured from how much. You're tired of everybody's fun and I'm great. My leathery bagel back there is breaking from the amount of wisdom and silver lining shoved up it. I'm tired of hearing that there's supposed to be an upshot of every bad thing. That's just not the case. Not everyone gets to make lemonade, okay, out of the lemons they're dealt. And we've got to have an outlet to be able to say that. Something's just fucking suck. And I think it's even more alienating and isolating that. It's toxic positivity.

So I decided to create a podcast where we could all just tell the shit stories that have no happy ending and no silver lining and are just shit and funny and embarrassing. And we learned nothing. And if anything, we became stupider. And I think the reason it's so successful is because most of us are secretly silently experiencing this. You know, we only hear about the one or two times something actually turned out to be for the best. The rest of it is just foul. Give me an example for you of the shittiest situation. Oh, I mean, there are so, there are so, so many.

And this podcast, you can listen to it now. Totally. A good example was the fact that I was left to manage my, let me think, let me think of a ridiculous story. I mean, here's a great story that isn't my own, but it's one of my favorite stories of the podcast. One of my favorite stories of the podcast was when a wedding planner wrote in that her bride shit herself just before walking down the aisle. But they're doing a kind of nature wedding. So it's out in a field. There's nowhere to go and shower. And she's wearing so much construction wear because

women feel the need to be the thinest, it has to be the thinest day of their life that they can't get in there. It's just all locked in. It's caged in. And so the bride being a legend is like, well, I mean, it doesn't smell yet. So let's just get this wedding going. She's covered in her own shit underneath the dress. She's like, let's go. Can you smell me? They were like, no. They put on some extra perfume, kicked her down the aisle. She goes down the aisle. Wedding goes fine. No one can tell a thing. So she's like, you know what? Obviously changing is not an option for the reception. They've just got to keep her in there now. Lock in all the juices. So she decides to go ahead with the reception and they're like, I really don't think that you should do the wedding

dance because it's a big number. Lots of twirling. Lots of moving around. And she's like, no, I've been fine up until now. I've been practicing this dance for months. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do the wedding dance. So she does and she's spinning and she's twirling and he's dipping her. And as this is happening, as his hand is moving up the small of her back, he's moving the poo up the construction wear that she's wearing underneath the dress. And so it's coming up and coming up and then it spills over the back of the dress. And now there's just poo pouring out of the back of this woman's back, which seems anatomically unsound in front of everyone. And now there's shit on his hands and he doesn't know what's happening and why she's bleeding shit from her back

from her shoulder bones and it's happening and it's flying everywhere and they have to stop and then she's taken away to the bathroom and they do their best to clean her up and swap her clothes as someone else and and God bless him he was very he thought you know he was fine about the whole thing are they still together they are still together but he just said um everything's fine I think I just would rather not do the bit where I have to remove her garter with my teeth, which I think is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. But where's the fucking lemonade in that? There's no lemonade.

There's no lemonade. I mean, maybe the lemonade is he stayed with it because he loves her unconditional. I mean, he should stay with her. If you'd leave someone because they're going to shit themselves like, fuck off. You don't care if the person you're with shits themselves. What about in the bed? I'd rather it not happen, but it's fine. But anyway, so there's no lemonade to this.

So wrong turns is wrong turns. Wrong turns is wrong turns. And you never find your way. It's things that happen to you or things that you make go wrong of your own accord, times where you've been caught stealing at work or the guy that won the lottery and pissed all over his boss's desk and then realized he'd read the numbers wrong and had not, in fact, won the lottery. It's funny stories. It's great comedians.

Simon Pegg, who you have a picture of. Simon was so awesome. He's so unbelievable. You've got Simon Peg. and Steve merchants coming on. Love Steve. He's been on the podcast. Catherine Ryan, Alan Carr, like all of these amazing people, I believe Penn Badgley's on on Monday, like just funny, wonderful people. And they just confess the stories that they swore they would take to the grave.

And it's very bonding, it's very cathartic. And what's really interesting is that the podcast unearthed stories that we'd buried. And suddenly, someone else is telling a story and it reminds you of your own story that you'd suppressed all those years ago. And we find the same with the audience. And the audience writing, I think, some of the funniest stories of the show, because they have nothing to lose and no publicists. And so it's completely loose. And the sex stories are absolutely hysterical. I love this. I think it's just it's just a good time. It's 38 minutes or something a week where you can feel much better about your own life. Who doesn't want to feel superior? Yeah. You feel good. It's like therapy in a way. It is like therapy. Do you go to therapy? No, but I did go to therapy for three months and it saved my life. It did. Mm-hmm.

So you thought you didn't need anymore after that. Three months were enough. Yeah, clearly I'm fine. Look at me. Why did you go? I went because I was scared of the dark and I thought that was not going to work out for long-term relationships because I was making everyone sleep in the light. You were really afraid of the dark. Terrified of the dark.

Under the bed. Terrified. Under the bed. Why? Did you watch horror movies as a kid? No. I was severely abused as a child, which we weren't going to massively. but I was severely abused in the dark.

So I didn't love the dark. And I was like, how am I going to get this sorted? And I was just about to move to America. And I was like, oh, God, the electricity bills are a scandal over there. I can't afford it. I've got to get rid of this. So I went to something called EMDR therapy. I did a movement desensitization reprocessing therapy.

It worked like a charm. And it's like lightning. I was hysterical. And I was like, this isn't going to work. And then all of a sudden, I'm drenched in my own tears and all this stuff is coming out without her really doing much. Just saying a few little things. What do you see now?

How do you feel? Yeah. What do you think of them? All these things. And at the end, I was like, unprovoked. I said, I forgive them through all these tears. I was like, how did this happen? It takes the worst thing that happened to you and makes it somehow mundane.

And I think the way I describe it is that talk therapy. to me feels like treating an illness with medicine, you know, or physiotherapy. And EMDR is like surgery. They just go in and they cut it out. So it's more severe. It's more intense. But it is, in my opinion, more efficient and thorough. And that works for my brain. But you know what's it's not like you forget the incident. You know it's there. Yeah. But it doesn't affect you. No, they sever the tie between the feeling and the thought. Yeah. And that's just unbelievable.

It is the most profound, I think the most profound medical discovery of our generation. Yeah. You know, some psychiatrist I was talking to said, yeah, it's bullshit. It's bullshit. I go, no, it's not. No, what you did it? I'm like, yeah, and it fucking helped me like you wouldn't believe. But of course they would say it's bullshit because it works so far.

She discharged me after 12 weeks. She got rid of all of my fears of the dark, fears of, you know, this, that and the other, like, help me deal with my child abuse. I've not bothered or triggered by any of the things I used to be. I feel incredibly calm. I'm very confident and comfortable in my own skin. And so that could have taken 15, 20 years of my money. And she just took 12 weeks.

So obviously psychiatrists and, you know, psychoanalysts are going to be a little bit threatened by EMDR. And I think you should be deeply suspicious as someone who isn't interested in. working alongside an EMDR therapist. It's like the therapy can be great as a tool to find the problem, and then you take it to EMDR to get rid of the problem. I have friends who've been going to the same therapist for 20 years, and I'm like, surely that means it's not fucking working to an extent. But also I think it's great to have an outlet of someone you can say all of your heinous secrets to,

who you're going to throw it back in your face during an argument. Yes, but I think it's also important to, I don't think people divulge enough. I think, you know, like my mom goes to therapy, I think she just wants the therapist to be her friend and not think she's crazy. Right. So she's going there for the wrong reasons, whereas I'm broken. I have this and I need to figure this out. You know, I have a theory about this of something that I'd like to change in therapy.

Yeah. I, if I were a therapist, would demand six letters from my client from people that they are close to of their private analysis of this person so that I don't just get the version they want to project onto me because nobody is a reliable narrator. So I would like a sense from six different people that know them of who they are, of how they come across. But maybe some people. I would never just take one person's word for it because they might also be. But you can somewhat correlate all of that. I think my friends know me pretty well.

But I have sort of a dark cloud that I live in sometimes that I don't really let people know or understand. I don't feel comfortable. So they don't see certain things that I don't want them to see. Yes, but I'm not expecting to know everything. I just like I said, it just gives you kind of a, it's a preamble to what's going to come out. Of course. It's only natural.

It's anthropological to not want to meet someone and for them to root for you and think the best of you. Yeah. I really want to listen to wrong turns. I want to be a guest. Please come. You are so, so welcome. I will think of, I have some stories.

I'm sure you do. Okay, before we jump back in, I just want to say thank you for listening and hanging out with us today. We've had the chance to sit down with over 300 guests on this show. I can't even believe it. From people like Alan Richon, Canna Reeves, Kristen Ritter, and a lot of others along the way. So if you're newer here, or if you've missed some episodes, there's a ton of great conversations in the archives worth checking out. And if you're enjoying the show, make sure you're subscribed wherever. listening. It really helps support the podcast and make sure these episodes show up for you every week.

And before we get back into it, here's a quick preview of what we've got coming up next week. So the work now, the shadow work for me comes now like, where did that voice come from? And if I get quiet enough, I can find it. And what do you do when you find it? I have compassion for it. Hmm, that's the most important thing, isn't it? Because it always stems from when you're a little boy, it does. Because my instinct is to go, no, no, no, that's not. That's not. That's not. And that's the worst thing to do. Because because that stuff was there to protect me from disappointment. It was to protect me from getting hurt.

It was to protect me from going around that corner where that drug house was. Whatever that case, whatever that thing was, that anxiety, that thing you felt in your belly, it was there because I want you to survive. You survive. Don't be hurt. Yeah. So I have to have compassion for it. But thank you. You're no longer needed.

All right. Let's jump back in. Do you think you are, because you're loved by a lot of people, my girlfriend was so bummed that she wasn't here to meet you. Oh, I would have liked to know. Yeah. And there's so many people that just love you, but there are people that don't. No. Now, who would you say out there that, you know, hates you?

I don't know. I mean, I'd hate me if I'd read the headlines about me. The way that I'm framed is terrible and so different to who I am. actually am and it's quite baffling really so i think anyone who believes tabloids would hate me and they'd have good reason to i don't blame them i'm i'm the the caricature of me is ridiculous and exhausting i sound like a fucking nightmare um so i think those are the people and i also think mostly it's it's um very wealthy people who exploit other people for gain who don't like me because i threat i threaten their systems and they can go fuck themselves so I'm I'm not really bothered by that and I don't need

everyone to like me I'm hugely uninterested in being liked by more than about 12 people and so it's not really any of my business I don't like a lot of people and it doesn't ruin their days so why should it have to ruin my day if people don't like me were you always like that do you think that you always weren't really that um caring on what people thought of you or were you did it take time to kind of get thick skin yeah I always thought I should care what people think about me, but I never fundamentally did. I have something called low self-opinion and yet high self-worth. Isn't that strange?

And what that means is that I don't think much of myself, but I also don't think I owe it to anyone to be very much. I think I'm just good enough as I am. I don't think I'm exceptional. And why should I fucking need to be? I'm just a person walking through this world. I do like myself, though. That's important. I do like myself, but I like myself as I am and I don't expect anything of myself.

You really, you didn't orgasm in front of 6,000 farmers while you were DJ. I did. I can't, I can't imagine. I did. Where were you? I was just, I'm just a very, um, sensitive in the groin. Is that real? Is that true?

Yeah. When you say sensitive in the groin, it just means like anything can get a rise out of you. Really, really just a very strong base. A very strong base would do it for me. You know, and so that is just something that I didn't know about myself until it was too late, and I was DJing for 6,000 farmers, men and women, and just kept on happening. No one could tell, thankfully, it presented more as an asthma attack. But once you pop, you can't stop.

So. I don't even know, like... Some people, orgasm on the bus, it's a nightmare. Did you see that documentary about that poor woman who has something like 3,000 orgasms a day? She can't go anywhere. She's literally disabled, as in because of it, it's a disability. because she can't do anything. She can't have a washing machine in her house.

She can't use an electric toothbrush. Like any vibration anywhere in the house. She got, it's on the news. Ryan, are you listening to us? You know, and so, I mean, obviously, like, her husband would just probably have to go, and he'd feel like a legend. He'd feel like a king.

He'd feel like Zorro. So, you know, I really got off lightly there. It was a very, very strong base. That's incredible. You're not on only fans. I'm not on only fans, no. You'd make a fortune. You would make a fortune on only things.

And you wouldn't have to do anything. Have you thought of doing it? I think of like oiling myself up while pink-pilling men, telling them facts about feminism and patriarchy while oiling up my tits. I think about it all the time. I think it would actually be hilarious. I think it would actually be deeply effective, just some sort of like subliminal, you know, like whatever they presume.

Manipulation. Yeah. Yeah. Subliminal manipulation. Yeah. I think it would be absolutely hysterical. think about it constantly, but I, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm not even comfortable doing kissing and sex scenes and films. So I think I have a way to go. I can't even watch sex scenes and films. So,

you know, why? I, I, I, I just feel shy. It's not for me to see it. It's private. I've had to do a like, but that's it. Never a big kiss. Never a big, could you do it. No. Would you refuse it? Yes. I, I, I frequently refuse roles. What if Stephen Spielberg called you and said, I need you to make out with someone in this movie. I could make out with someone for Steven Spielberg, but I couldn't have sex for Steven Spielberg. They just have to get a body double. And there's no price. No price.

What are the reasons for that besides you're shy? I just don't want to do it. And I don't need that much money. I'm just not interested. I just don't need a lot. $10 million. No, I love sandwiches. I don't have expensive taste.

I actually fucking hate fancy restaurants. I hate overly, overly expensive clothes. Eat McDonald's? Not anymore. It used to be great, but it's not good anymore. taste like ass Really? Yeah

All right And you can get the burger sauce everywhere now So really that was the last thing But you eat burgers and pizza Yes but not from there Right No You've been dating with the same guy

You're not married No we've been together 11 years Have you been through hell and back We've been near hell We've been hell adjacent Really We've been able to feel the The heat of hell

And have some of the embers of hell Still upon our clothes in our hair, but we've never been to hell and back. Have you almost been like, this isn't it going to work? Totally, totally. But we got all that out of the way at the very beginning. We didn't do the be amazing and be on your best behavior from at the start. And then when they love you, turn into, here's Johnny.

We decided to show each other our worst behavior at the very start. Darling. Yeah, exactly. Light of my life. I want you to shut the fuck up. Yeah. Exactly. We showed each other our absolute because we didn't want to date each other. We didn't want to be together. He was 26 and handsome and a musician and literal Victoria Secret models were literally brought to him when he would be DJing. Were you ever jealous by that? No. I don't. I don't get jealous. I'm not a jealous person. No. And so he wanted to be single, you know, and see what's out there. You know, explore the sea. But and I and I just come up.

out of a relationship and wasn't interested at all. And I didn't want to date a younger man, nor did I want to date a front man, because what a nightmare. I imagined he'd just be a walking STD, and I wasn't interested. But my point being that I just didn't, I didn't want that life. I was like, oh, God, not an actress and a musician. What a fucking cliche. So we actively tried not to date each other, but we just couldn't stay away from each other.

We're just madly enough. We can't stop talking. We cannot stop talking. we would sit and talk for 12 hours a day on our first dates. It was really mad, really insane. Did you mean you loved him right away? No, nine months. Nine months before you said it?

Yeah. Did he say it first? Yes. And you didn't say it? I said it back. Oh. At nine months. So both right, nine months.

Because I thought maybe you'd say I'd love you at six months. You're like, no, no, no. No, we just didn't feel it. And then we felt it at the same time. I think we were listening to a. fucking song and then the song resonated with both of us and then we felt really embarrassed and could barely look at each other and then realize that we loved each other and that song was you and I by stevie fucking wonder just you and I yeah there's another one by um Eddie rabbit

are you suggesting songs I should have fallen in love to oh yeah remember that song no it's crystal gale no uh how did you get did you always want to be an actor no you didn't how did that's fall in the place a writer and I was signed at Three Arts for being a writer. I was with Three Arts for a while. Oh, nice. And then they had this role come up on a TV show for an annoying Englishwoman. And I just seemed to randomly pop into their mind.

I don't know how that happened. And they said, will you go to this audition? And I said, no. And then they brought in, like, all of the agents at UTA who represent me and all the three arts people. they ganged up on me in a room. And now, like, we really think you should go to this audition. We really think you should give acting a shot, like you have comedy chops. And I was like, no, I don't want to be on camera anymore.

I don't want to be seen. I just want to be behind the scenes. I'm happier behind the scenes. And at that exact moment that I'm arguing with all of them, I'm in this sort of fish bowl room at UTA on the downstairs where you can see out. And this woman walks in through the front door. And I see her and she's walking towards me. And I'm like, my speech slows down because I start to recognize her.

And I'm like, fuck, she looks just like my school bully from when I was a child. But she'd be in England. Why would she be in Los Angeles at the same time as me in the same building? She's not in this industry. That'd be ridiculous. And then she stops walking and she clocks me. And then she waves. And I'm like, holy fucking shit, that's my school bully.

So then I disappear under the table and I have a panic attack. And my manager's like, Hey, what you doing? And I was like, shit, she can see me. She can see that I've done this. I'm 12 all over again. And now she's got that power over me still. So I force myself back up and I theatrically pretend I'd dropped my pen.

And I'm like, I found it. I found it. And all my agents have now gone quiet. And they're like, what's up, kiddo? And I say, well, I don't quite know how to explain this. But my worst school bully just walked into this building. right now and I'm freaking out. And the thing about agents, I think, is that there's a reason they all want to be in control. Something happened. Something went wrong somewhere, probably

at school. Yeah. And so everyone immediately stopped being an agent and became a human being. Everyone's inner 12-year-old came out in that moment and everyone began empathizing with me. And now we weren't talking about my career anymore. They were just like, what do you need? Do you want us to get a kicked out? Do you want us to get a fight? And I was like, no, no, no, no, bad karma, bad I do-joo. Don't want to do that. Just give me a second. Give me a second. And I was like, okay, I've got it. And they were like, what is it? We'll do anything. And I was like, it'd be really great if you could give me a round of applause. And they did. They gave me a standing ovation. And I didn't have a job or a visa. I was actively trying to end my career. And they were just like, ooh, who, who, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're the best. And so obviously my school bully is looking in. And I'm like, stop, stop. Sit down. theatrically, like acting like I'm so embarrassed by all this intention. And I turn around to them and I'm like, this is amazing. I'm going to call you from the car park. This is the coolest moment of my life. Thank you so much. And so I walk out past her, don't even look at her. And one of them

I hear yell behind me, congratulations on your nomination. Literally don't have a job. Don't have anything. I have never been nominated for anything in my life. So I go to the, I walk past her, don't even acknowledge her. And then I go to the car park and I call them. And I'm like, oh my god thank you so much i will do anything you want and my manager was like you could go to that audition for us and so i went to the audition for the good place for mike sure and unbelievably because of his terrible judgment i got the part and then i became an actor and then after that marvel came and hunted me down and because i was scared of doing marvel because i'm so clumsy but i've had a very blessed career it's incredibly unpopular with every single actor

no one's ever liked me after I've told them that and that's okay but I do work very hard once I get in the room but they say that some people I'm not calling myself great but I'm just using this expression of some people are born great some people become great and some people have greatness thrust upon them if I were to ever be great I would be in the latter category because I don't know what the fuck's going on I don't know which god I sucked off in another life do you learn lines I've done a really good job. Yes, I have a photographic memory. God, I hate you.

I know. That's, what was it like not really acting? And then you're working with Ted Danson and Kristen Bell and all these great people. I couldn't look Kristen in the eye for seven weeks because I felt so embarrassed to be there. Because I knew that this was not imposter syndrome. I was just an imposter. And she's such a professional. She's so sweet.

She's so, so good at her job and militant on set. And she's a photographic memory too. And she can, totally. And she can sniff out a bullshitter. And I was literally a bullshitter. So she's just smelling bullshit all over me. Just like that woman in that story. But Ted Danson loves a bullshitter.

Yeah. And he was like, hey, you know, he was like, you bring your bullshit over here. And I'm going to help you carve it into something that looks like an actor. And so Ted took me under his wing and taught me. how to act. And so everything I am, if you like it or not, it's Ode to Ted. And I watched him up close and every single take he does is completely different. And he's so profound and so generous and so interesting as an actor. He makes such interesting choices. And he made me bold and he welcomed me into this industry in a way that I will never, ever, ever forget or get over.

Do you feel like it was such a challenge that you stepped up and learned so much and took it all in that you became now, do you consider yourself an actor? I would consider myself an actor now. I don't think I'm a profound actor. I mean, I've only done like four or five projects ever. But I consider myself an actor and I work really hard on set and I really, really care. And I really take it seriously and I care not only about the audience. but I care about that cast and crew who are earning less than me and working so much fucking harder than we are. And I don't want to let them down. So I'm, I walk onto that set

organized now and prepared and ready. And I don't know if I did that at the very beginning of the good place. I think I was so overwhelmed that my breath, my head was just spinning. So I was just mostly excited about how many free snacks I could take home every day from craft services. But I grew to develop a strong work ethic and and a real understanding. of that machine. Hitting your marks, showing up on time. I mean,

I didn't know what a mark was when I started. I was just really like, I thought it's tough to be acting and knowing where it is without having to look down. With people who are so seasoned. Yeah. That entire cast is so talented.

It could be intimidating. And I think they just must have thought I was such a buffoon, but they would have been completely accurate. And that's a hard pill to swallow. Yeah. And you have a Christmas movie. I have a Christmas movie coming out.

It's called a Merry Little X-Mis. Are you the lead? I'm not the lead. No, I would never be the lead. I always turned out. lead. Is that true? You don't want to carry a movie or a show? No. I don't either. It's too much responsibility. It's too much. I'm shy of responsibility. I want to be the fun relief in everything. Alison Janney to me has had the ultimate perfect career where she just comes

in and she's tall and memorable. Just destroys it. Excellent. Destroes leaves, goes home, hangs out with her dogs. Yeah. Agents, yeah. Agents don't like to hear that because, you know. My agents really don't. My agents are like. Like, there's this probably go, dude, you just sent me a one hour where I'm the lead. I'm already having a panic attack. Like, I don't want to work that hard. I'd love to find me something where I could show up once or twice a week, kill it and go home and have the rest of my life. Yeah.

But, you know, it's hard to find those little gems. Totally. But I'd prefer a cheaper life. You know, I had an expensive home and I sold it because I was like, I want a cheaper life. I want a smaller, cheaper life. I don't want to get into this like this fucking thing that happens in LA of like you know you just keep acquiring and acquiring and then you have all these bills to pay and all these people to pay and you know your life just gets bigger and bigger and out of control and then now you're working to survive. It's like, you know, which is most people's reality obviously in this world whether you're a nurse or a mechanical or whatever. And if I'm so, so lucky to have the privilege of being able to work just enough to survive within my means and I've moved to a cheaper area and I wear cheaper clothes.

and I just live a smaller life, then I'm going to do that because the real privilege is not the big mansion or the nice car. The real privilege is time. Yeah, it really is. Time is everything because it's what we have so little of. Yeah, and I just haven't yet met. If I were to at least meet one billionaire or super famous person or super millionaire who was happy or okay, I could change my mind.

But I'm yet in 17 years of this industry to meet a single stable. super successful person. Not one. Well, you just met one. Congratulations, Jamila, here on inside. No, no, no, no. I've got my, I've got my shit. No, you already mentioned. What, my shit? Yeah. Yeah. We all have our shit. Yeah, it's all have our shit. It's very discombobulating. The most important thing is, and it's, it won't be said on your show, wrong turns, but. No, wrong turns is, is devoid of any serious conversations whatsoever. It is pure absurdity. Right. But I'm saying that, I never realized that just being kind, honestly, it's overused, but it, like to the crew, to pay attention to someone, to give someone a moment, to do charitable work, which I know you work with. I work with organizations like Choose Love, for example, who are, you know, helping displace people all over the world. Yeah, I do lots of that work. But what were you saying?

But that feels good. It does feel good. I think that's where I thrive. You know, one time a therapist was like, do you ever go to the hospital to talk to kids? Do you ever go to it? I have. He's like, try it. And I fell in love with it. It's selfless. It's you're there and being around kids and kids who are dying.

And there's something about me that I just feel like I want to step up. I want them to feel happy. I want to make them laugh. I want to and it it did when I leave that night after like three or four hours with these kids nothing feels better you can give me any job you can give me any amount of money but for me I think that's what helps me the most that's great do you think that helps you partially I think service partially helps me but I also think time with my dogs helps me and I think time with my loved ones and laughing and eating cake in front of the TV you know I

I don't want to wank myself off with nobility. I personally, I think that just time. I think part of that time should be used in service of others, but I also think we shouldn't only spend our time in service of others. I think also this world and this life is such a privilege, and we should do our most to make the best of it, you know, really enjoy what's out there. Because if you look around, there is just magic everywhere.

Obviously death and devastation and tragedy everywhere as well. But we're programmed by the media because the media is dying. So they rely upon the one thing we can't look away from, which is fear. To terrorize us into thinking everything's bad all of the time. Everyone is bad. No one can be trusted. And they're just doing that for profit because they need advertising. You need something to talk about too.

And actually literally this is, which is, you know, horrible to imagine, but literally things are the best they've ever been in history. If we're just going to be literal and factual about it. You know, there's less barbarianism and pillaging and rape on a mass. You know, it's less mainstream than it once was. Right. It's still, it's niche now. It's still happening, but it's, it's, it's left field.

And so that's a positive. And so it's important to look for the positives in the world while acknowledging the terrible things, doing something about it, but not also dedicating your whole life to that. This is why I talk about pleasure. I'm obsessed with pleasure. And we, we treat pleasure like a privilege. because we've been conditioned to by a bunch of exploitative billionaire cunts who are living a life of pleasure while telling us that it's noble to do nothing but sacrifice and suffer and be stoic while they're on a yacht being fed lobster by a sex worker having a great fucking time.

Hey, I hear you. It's cool to hear your side. I'm not saying I'm not, I'm on a different side, but how you picture the world. You know, because we could get caught up in all the darkness and the bad stuff because it's everywhere, you know. Yeah, it's real. But like you said, there's a lot of you go on Instagram and everybody's happy lives and everybody, you know, you've talked about like the air brushing and all this. You're not seeing the true person. You're never seeing the true person. You're just assuming, oh, their life's better than mine. Yeah, I'm just so sick of beauty standards. I'm so exhausted by it. I think it's such a fucking waste of time.

And it's a shame that with all the information that we have now about where they come from, how destructive they are, how much money is made from the beauty industry. And women remain so consumed by it. I understand it because I had anorexia for 20 years. Like I've hurt myself for a beauty standard before. But I didn't know any better because that was the 90s. Now we've really discussed, you know, we've really gone to town on this subject. We know the risk. And We know the benefits to the worst people of us buying into this shit. We know it's a distraction mechanism to stop us from thinking about inequity and inequality. And yet we continue just to talk about fucking collagen and how to stay ageless while our rights are being taken away, while our bodily autonomy is taking away, while child marriage is on the rise globally.

So what the fuck are we doing? And I don't want to just coddle women. I don't want to coddle anyone. I think at some point we have to have some accountability and we're like, yeah, we're the victims of a mass brainwashing system. But also we have the agency, which I think is empowering to at some point go, women at 80% of the consumer market, we can bring this entire society to its knees in about two weeks to a month. And so if we could just stop buying shit for a minute, so compulsively to try and cheat time and gravity and stop injecting ourselves with things that are. under-researched as to the long-term impacts. And the reason, by the way, we do this is because we don't give a shit what happens to women after they're fertile. So we give them things that might

hurt them in the long term and we just don't bother warning them about it because it doesn't matter. So, oh, you've got osteoporosis later. Oh, you've got bowel problems later or you've got a depression later. You've got a thin heart. It doesn't matter. As long as you look good now. And then later, you'll just be in the back washing, you know, the, I don't know, the shit stains off my pants. So who cares? Shit talking with Jamila, Jamil. Did I say that right? Yes.

This is called shit talking. This is, it's actually a segment. It's rapid fire. Let's go. These are my patrons, patreon.com slash inside you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting the podcast. Little Lisa, who says, who's the most influential person of your life in your life?

The most influential person of my life is my dog, barreled. Barreled. I know he's not a person. That's fine. Barreled. If I would pick a person, I would say my boyfriend. really yeah he taught me how to stand up for myself um against him he was like fight me i'm gonna teach you how to fight me yeah he was like fight me i heard that once before i have a friend

who said to me it's like oh how's it going it's good she's like she's actually taught me how to fight i'm like i didn't know what to fucking say to that yeah yeah he was like fight me he's a very confrontational um person and he wanted to know what i really felt he wasn't afraid of my feelings he wasn't afraid of my rage i was more afraid of my rage than he was and he was like i can take it tell me what he's seen your rage he's seen my rage like fucking unadulterated just raw no one is more talented or skilled at finding my rage than my boyfriend and vice versa um but he uh he liberated me and he taught me to think like a man and to walk through this world like a man thinking, why not me? You know, because women are not raised

with, it could be me, why not me? We're not chances in the same way. Women act with tremendous precision, which is why we make better surgeons or better like, you know, thought leaders and staff, statistically, I'm saying, because women are so overly cautious and precise to a fault, I think, in that we then excuse ourselves from opportunities. And this isn't just coming from women. I mean, traditionally statistically men are hired for who an employer thinks they're going to become women are hired for what they've already achieved. So we are working within a real metric. But we then further perpetuate that by second-guessing ourselves all the time and counting

ourselves out of love if we're not the right way or a job if we don't look right or we're not young enough or blah blah blah blah blah. And he taught me, I just by example, he just doesn't see boundaries. Boundaries do not exist to my boyfriend. He just doesn't understand why he could. He's so profound in this way. So the point where it's nearly reckless, but it's also incredibly exciting to be around. And he's taught me a lot.

And I think a lot of what I have achieved in the last 10 years has been down to the way that he shifted my mentality. And again, like this is a man who's grown so much since we met right in front of me. This is an example of the kind of man who got in touch with his feelings and got stronger. I watched him become a stronger man for finding his sensitivity, for finding his tears, for finding his pain and trauma and dealing with it. He's fucking indestructible. You hear that, Ryan? Fucking find it, man. Let it go.

It's so funny. And people on the internet, like, imagine that he would be some sort of weak simp because I'm very forceful as a person. And it's actually like, no, a weak man couldn't handle someone like me. It'd be terrified of me. It only takes a very strong man to not be insecure, to know that I can't impact his, like, I can't disrupt him in any way. He is immovable. And that's, that's a real man. Like we need more, instead of just talking about what's wrong with men, we need more positive role models of like what a real fucking man looks like.

And I think I've got one. Linda, Anne, what's the best decision you've ever made in your life? Getting an abortion. Okay. There you go. Sorry. No. that's that's your yeah that's you a dara see if you can go back in your life and change anything

that would what would it be why i would have been less of a cunt in 2018 perfect and leanne says when you're feeling down what is the one thing that helps you feel better besides barreled i like to listen to bohemian rhapsody on repeat for several hours while walking that same song exactly that every time yeah who's your favorite right now. Queen. You don't watch sports, I could tell. No way.

Not any. Not soccer, football, nothing. No, no, no, no. You go to movies? No. I love movies. You do. You love leaving the house.

I'm a cinephile. Yeah, I worked in a video shop for four years. I'm a television and film fanatic. Favorite TV show? Favorite TV show of all time? Comedy. Or you mean currently right now? I wouldn't be able to pick one, but Succession is the most recent.

I consider that comedy. It is absolutely. exceptional. Okay. My favorite movie of all time is Four Lions by Chris Ross. Four Lions? Four Lions. Never saw that. It's an extraordinary British comedy about terrorism. He is a masterpiece of a film. And then obviously like Eternal Sunshine in the Spotless Mind, Charlie Kaufman, all of those types of things. So I like, I like that. But I'm also, you know, like a Friends and Frasier classic basic bitch. But I really just enjoy it all. I could talk to you forever. Maybe you'll come back or maybe I'll do your podcast. I would love for you to do my podcast. You are immediately invited. You're so yeah, this is great. Wrong turns is out now, the podcast. Yes. If you're sick of inspiration, wrong turns is for you. Anti-inspiration, pro-commiseration. Come join us, feel better about yourself. Come feel smug. Yes. And the Christmas movie, the last. It's called a Merry Little X-Mess. A Merry Little X-Mis. So it has to deal with someone's ex. Yes. It's a divorced couple spending their first Christmas together. as divorcees and the idiot husband has brought his brand new girlfriend, me,

over to Christmas having known me for only two months. What could go wrong? I'm sure a lot. Indeed. This has been great. Thanks for being here. This is really fun. Thank you.

Yeah. This never happens, but we're coming back because you wanted to tell me a regret. So we're actually turned the cameras back on your biggest regret. My biggest regret is one time a boyfriend stuck it in the world. wrong hole and I said unexpected item in bagging area out loud I wish I hadn't said that but we came back in here for this that was my regret I just wanted to tell you we'll leave you with that folks I hope you enjoyed today Jamila Jamil they say it right yeah but how did you not know from right away like oh wait wait wait that was my initial response that was my instinctive response was

unexpected item and bagging area did he laugh no okay good talking to you bye all right folks we are kicking off something new okay and it's called inside of us yes for the first time we're bringing community members onto the show to share how they're navigating life and mental health these days yes real people just actors. It's a chance to hear real stories from real people and maybe even find a bit of a connection or some advice along the way. So if you want to get involved and join us on a future episode, yep, check out patreon.com slash inside of you. And let's dive in and hear from some of you. All right, we're here with Lisa Williams, little Lisa or Lil Lisa, small Lisa. Why do you, by the way, you always say little Lisa, you'd like to go by Little Lisa.

Is that just something you've always been called? Yeah, it's a nickname I've been called for years, actually. I was called it in high school, and then it just carried on as, like, time went on. Yeah, as opposed to Big Lisa or Tall Lisa. You're a Lil Lisa. Yeah, that would work out very well. Look, you are such a fantastic human being inside out. I mean, you're, you're so supportive with the podcasts and my band Sunspin.

You've been so amazing over the years. And, you know, it baffles me. But I guess I want to know, well, first of all, you're from Canada. Mm-hmm. Right? I live in Ontario, Canada. What is it about the podcast or whatever that got you listening and did it help you? It's actually funny. I've learned about the podcast when I met you for the first time at Fan Expo in Toronto in 2019, and you were promoting it. And you asked us to subscribe to it. And so we did. And we told you that night I went home. And the first episode I watched was of you with Tom Welling.

Ah. And I just got hooked then. And that was it. Yeah. And then I just started listening to the whole, like I started. I started. from the beginning, and I just listened to the whole, all the episodes. Do you deal with a lot of anxiety and a lot of stress and, you know, in your life? Yeah, it can get stressful sometimes. I mean, it's that work stress or whatever. You're trying to get your stuff done and, you know, but yeah, I mean, I have anxiety and, you know, I get stressful. I mean, it's. What do you do about it? I just try to, you know, relax and stuff. I listen to music, especially your album, Never Is What It Is.

That's one of my, like, go-to albums that I listen to. What's your favorite song? Oh, God. There's never is what it is is one of my favorites. And also, this is the end. There's so many oyster. I could go on and on and on. I love that.

And also just, like, coming home and, playing video games as well and, you know, spending time with my pets, my dog and my cat. How's Daisy? Daisy's doing good. Thank God. She had to get emergency surgery last Thursday, Thursday night. We had to rush her to emergency. She was in, like, so much pain.

And, you know, I've never heard a dog, like, cry like that. Like, it broke my heart. It was just, yeah. Yeah, like, sorry. No, it's okay. But so she got opened up, and obviously she had like her surgery. And they found that she had a twisted liver or liver twisted. It's a rare condition.

And so they removed that part in her. And they're sending that a way to find out if it's cancerous or not. But other than that, she's doing good. She's on a lot of medication. She finishes her medication next week. She's in good hands. We'll say that. She is, yes.

But it's actually good that we found out about it because if you find out too late, it can be sometimes even more difficult to deal with. She's getting back to her normal. Shit disturb herself. That's definitely for sure. Shit disturber. Yes, our first patron who's, said a swear word. I love it and we're keeping it. The podcast, you know, as we know, talks,

I talk about mental health and facing adversity and how to get through days and life and ailments and death and all these things. Do you think the podcast has helped with any of that? I definitely think so. Like it, like my best friend is, she's bipolar. And when I listen to Alan Richardson's episode and that it really like resonated quite a bit yeah like but like then there's different kinds that's the thing like hers is a different kind than um I think what Alan Richardson has and stuff but you know it does give you a different perspective and that and I mean you would never know because she doesn't like she doesn't show signs of it but um yeah I think it really helps because like we do like the cut guess you have on

Like it's everyday life things we deal with. Yeah. I try to make it where it normalizes, you know, certain things because everybody has something, whether someone is a little autistic or someone's a little, someone has bipolar, someone has anxiety, depression, whatever it is. Yeah. It's like we're, you know, we're all, we're all freaking human. So we deal with it.

So I think I just try to see what makes people tick. You know, yesterday I interviewed someone and, you know, hearing impaired. one ear. You cannot hear at all. And I'm like, I'm interested in like, did that affect you? Did that affect you in any way? And finding out that it really didn't affect him other than sometimes people thought he was rude because if they were talking into his left ear or he didn't respond because he didn't hear them. So, but you hear different things. You hear about Julie Bowen, right? I think she had a, has a pacemaker. And you're like, wait, what? So. So. you find out about all these things and it didn't stop them from being successful. It didn't

stop them from achieving their goals. But yeah, for me, it's just finding out a little something from each guest I have and something that might help someone out there or my or help me. Well, you do an amazing job. Like honestly, like just like just the interview style and the way that you interview people and how you make people feel so comfortable. And, like, you have a way of people getting to open up to you. And that's an amazing quality to have because not a lot of people can do that, especially if you don't know them that well. Like, there's guests that you've had on that, like, you even said, I don't know this person. You want me to give you the trick? I'm going to tell you the secret. Sure. I'm going to tell you the secret. Here it is. There is no secret. No,

there really isn't what what i do is i think it's disarming to talk about yourself and situations and things that experiences you've had in life and if they're negative or what and and then people sort of get comfortable like oh wow he's opening up to me i feel like opening up to him if they want to open up so for me i just talk about myself like yeah i didn't get this as a kid or or you know, I suffer from this or I deal with this. And then you're hoping that makes them think, okay, they're not just interrogating me. They're opening up about themselves and himself. And we're having a conversation, a real conversation.

So do you like being a patron? I love being a patron. I've been one since day one. Well, look, you're the best. You could not be more supportive. You have a heart of gold. I know you're very close with your mom. I'm wishing the best for Daisy.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. It means so much. Well, look, I just want you to be good to yourself and take care of yourself. And that's first and foremost, no matter what. Same thing with you. Yeah, I'm always going to support you. And I think you're terrific.

So thanks for being here. And thanks for being you. Thank you so much for having me. All right. Well, you know, I love someone who speaks their mind and doesn't care what other people think. And she's as close to that as you can get. Because I think everyone cares what people think to some degree. Yeah.

But she cares less than most people. She does. Yeah. And I really, I appreciate that, you know. It's like some people are going to be like, uh, I don't like that. She says that, you know, but, hey, you know, everyone has an opinion. Yeah. I don't think she was that.

I mean, she wasn't boisterous. No. No, I loved it. I had a really good time. I just kind of let her go. Yeah. And just kind of listened. Yeah.

which is fun for me you know um but thanks for being on here jemella you were a lot of fun um and uh that is it uh again if you want to join patron if you like this show patron dot com slash inside of you and i'll send you a message when you join it really helps the show there's a lot of perks a great community on patron so do that and um part of the perks are getting your name shouted out so patreon dot com slash inside you and we're going to shout out the names of the top team There's some top tiers here and they get their name shouted out every week. And we're going to do that right now. Great.

After I sit my coffee. Do it. Nancy D. Little Lisa, Yukiko, Brian H. Nico P. Rob B.

the fourth. Jason Weaver. Dream Weaver. Raj Chakachachy. I never know how to pronounce his last name. One day. We'll call. How is it?

Rukakarthy. I don't drop my phone earlier. He's going to yell at me now, but I'm just terrible. Stacey L. Jamal F, Janel B, Mike Eldon, Supremo. 99 more, Santiago M. Kendrick F, Belinda N.

Dave H. Brad D. Ray H. Tabitha T, Tom and Talia, M. David G. Betsy D. Rian C. Michelle A. Jeremy C. Mr. Melski. Eugene R. Monika T. Mel S. Erich.

Amanda. Amanda. Amanda. Amanda. I like that. Kevin. J M and J. Leanne J. Luna R. Jules M. Jessica B. Frank B. J. T. T. Talkermanman. Randy. How's going Randy? Yes. Claudia. We have a concert with Claudia coming up for Sunspin. She got to because she's awesome and she gets a 45 minute concert from Rob and I for the band Sunspin. You can also go to Sunspin.com for stuff like that for our new album. Claudia. Yes. Thank you. I'll see you soon. Rachel D. Nick W. Stephanie and Evan.

seven charlie n a don g jennie b seven six n g tracy keith b hether and gregg benn be james bern p r c sultan dave t p b bryan bryan b bryan b b b b b baii pyl dary g g rickr d'i ritzel benjamin r other brother darrell ivan g john a and macaela l so without you guys you know what i'm going to say thank you and i appreciate you and uh that's all i have to tell you. And I guess lastly, but from the Hollywood Hills in Hollywood, California, I am Michael Rosenbaum. That's Michael Rosenbaum. I'm Ryan Teas. That's Ryan Teas, guys. Come on. Come on. All right. A little wave to the camera. We haven't talked much. We just let the interview do its thing. It was a good one. It was a good one. It's a fresh one. So we didn't have a lot to talk about, but maybe next week we'll get into it because we don't have a lot of conversations early on. Maybe we should start having a little conversation.

We can do that. You know? Yeah. So, like, see how your week's going. We can do that. You know? So, anyway, thank you. Have a great week.

Thank you for choosing this podcast. And be good to yourself. We'll see you soon. This isn't your average podcast. Do you like party? I do like a huge chug of tequila. The hollerhead whiskey bottle chug in front of Dana White. That was the first time we ever went to L.A.

We somehow got into a bitty party. It's an Elon Musk house party. look like. My party generally have a very high production value. This is Full Send. I do want to do a lot more pranks. A bunch of different pranks. Join the party. Jack Dordy in the house. Feeling good, man. What are we going to talk about with Will Smith? I don't know what you're going to say. Shout out to Phil Vaughn. It's been entertaining, dude. The Full Send podcast. Got the boys, grab the beers. Let's do it. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.