Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Jamie-Lynn Sigler Returns

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

Jamie-Lynn Sigler (Sopranos, Pajama Pants) joins us this week to talk about what it’s like to be a successful actress in Hollywood who suffers from MS (multiple sclerosis), all while raising two small children at the same time. Jamie opens up on how she was able to rediscover her passion of acting after taking a hiatus for the birth of her second child. We also talk the Sopranos, balance in life, and handling anger. She makes me cry... I make her laugh... it’s a great episode... hope you folks enjoy.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Ryan's right behind me, or right in front of me behind me. Right behind him. As I take a exhale. My spirit is behind you. Your spirit. Just gently massaging your neck. Dude, another good episode, man.

Another good episode. Last week was Martin Starr, a week before, Brandon Routh. We're putting good content out. You know, we're getting people. You know, I'm doing my best to get guests that people care about. And more importantly, I think that if you listen, like let's say you're listening today because you love this guest. Maybe you might go back if you're like this and go, hey, you know, I want to, because I learn about each guest. And I think that each, each, the audience, they agree.

Listeners go, you know, I'm listening now, even if I don't know anybody. Yeah. Because you find that because some people, I just, you find something. Yeah. In each one that you're like, you might be able to relate to. I say it each time, but, you know, I really believe it. Did you do anything fun this week? And you're done with jury duty, thank God.

Thank God. I'll tell you all about it. You almost jumped off my roof. It wouldn't kill you, though. It's not that high. God. No, it's worth it for the experience. Honestly, like it,

because I've been putting it off for so long. And it's easy to sort of, you know, put it aside and just keep pushing it and pushing it. And then just like to have finally done it. It's kind of a relief. Yeah. I use my, I've had so many back surgeries and stuff.

So my doctor just says now. He's not sitting down for any length of time. God. Well, I mean, I'll give you the back problems and neck problems. And then I'll switch. Sure. rather be healthy and be able to sit in a freaking chair for four hours, although I'm doing it now.

Big shout out to the patrons, patrons on Patreon. It's just another way to help the podcast out, and we appreciate it. You have no idea. It's so nice to see all these people just like going, you know, and you get a lot of cool stuff. There's extra footage inside of me, video that you get every month. Some tiers you get to see the guests, upcoming guests, and ask questions and merch packages. And I just love it.

I talk about its community. So that's cool. Wizard World, June 5th, coming up. Before that, May 9th, we have Miami. We're doing a con, Tom and I, Smallville Nights. So just look at my Twitter and Twitter and all that stuff. So there you have that. This guest is, she's been on before, but she wasn't filmed.

And she made me cry. She, do you remember that? Mm-hmm. I mean, a tear came down my eye, and I didn't address it. She just tells the story. And she goes, are you crying? I was like, fuck. I, it was just, she's such a great person.

I love listening to her. She has a great podcast. I was just on pajama pants. She's an extraordinary woman, a great mom, a great wife. She talks about her shit, though. Like, you know, she's not perfect. So she talks about, you know, raising kids. She talks about, you know, working with MS.

She talks about things that, again, people aren't always so open with. and I like that. You enjoyed this one, didn't you? I did, yeah, because I didn't know a lot about here going into it. I never watched The Sopranos, but she's just super sweet and just had a really nice story. Yeah. And she's dealing with a lot. Yeah, I mean.

I didn't know by any of that. I think any of that. I think we always think our problems are so big. And then when you sometimes see other people's problems. Yeah. You know, it's not that your problems are less. It's just like, I look at her and I'm like, dude, get the fuck up and do something. Get the fuck up.

Seriously. She's got two kids. married she's working she has ms she's doing a podcast it's like what the f dude like you know what get up do you have ms ryan i don't okay neither do i as far as i'm concerned so you know what for jamie for yourself yeah get up sorry i don't know why i said that jamie i know you're listening i love you uh dearly i just want to say for the record folks you're saying oh michael wore that shirt last week well here's what happened we're doing intros and outros for two episodes so dumb shit I don't want to go up the stairs I'm lazy to get another shirt on that's probably similar to this shirt because I wear the same clothes every day sorry I'm just to do the Farley every episode all right let's get inside Jamie Lynn Sigler it's my point of you you're listening to inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum

Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. You look great. I'm not just saying that. You do look great. Thank you. That's very nice. I always, that's such an awkward thing to receive. To say, don't ever say you look great again to me.

I thought you're going to do. No, I mean, just like, what do I say back? You know what you say? What? Thank you. Thank you. That's it. Okay.

I'm not good at receiving compliments. Well, that's something like I've talked about it before, but like, don't you think it's just better if there's an understanding like if I say hey I like your shirt instead of going it's an old shirt right this shirt is why don't you why do we do that I don't because maybe we don't believe the person because we hear so many compliments and we don't think that they're real it's Hollywood it's definitely part of it but don't you think that's all over the world it's like people go oh my God you look great and they're like no I didn't even sleep yesterday I was I was drunk I don't We're afraid to share our, like, happiness.

We're afraid to share, we're afraid to be judged by our reaction. Like, if I would have been like, yeah, I felt good walking out the house today, you'd be like, oh, she's a little bit of a cunt. A little bit of a cunt. God, that girl, she had a good day and she taught, she agreed that. Yeah, I said, hey, you look like you're having a good day. She was actually, I really had, what a cunt. Yeah.

She had a good day. That's what I'm afraid of. Do you think maybe when someone says it that, I don't know, is it an insecurity? Is it just like you feel better if it's self-deprecating? Like you're being- I feel more relatable if I'm self-deprecating. Right. It's weird. You find community and like common ground in like the shitty shit.

Yeah. We don't come together for the joy. How are you? We come together for our sorrows. That's true. So sort of like- Are you writing this down? Are you writing this down on?

I'm so in other words if I said, God, you know, Jamie, I mean, you're, you know, you're, I don't know, you look tired. Are you tired? And you're like, yeah, I'm just so tired. God, Rosenbaum, you look like shit. Yeah. I feel like shit. And then we're just drowning in our own misery. My nanny loves to tell me when I look tired.

I don't like when people. That's the one. I don't mind it when she does because I'll be like, yeah, that's why I need you. Do you know what I think looking tired? I think people may make the mistake when they say, you look tired. I then immediately go, God, man, I can't, I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror because I look like shit. You know you're really bad when somebody points it out that you look tired.

But you know what I think it is? What? I don't think they're saying you look tired, like your appearance, like your face looks tired. Your eyes are, your faces, your smile is tired. Your cheeks are tired. Your skin is tired. I think they're looking at you and they're going, your disposition. You're catching your vibe.

It's tight. If I go like this, watch. If I'm going like this. You know, I'm like, Jamie, I've had a great freaking week. I probably don't look tired, right? No. But if I was like this, I was like, yeah, so how is everything? You look tired.

You seem tired. It's all in your energy. So when they say you seem tired, maybe they should change it up. Maybe they should say, Ryan, you look good, but you seem tired. Yes, that's it. Because I don't want to hear I look tired. No. I don't know if I like that either, though.

You seem. You don't like same? You look good, but just seem like a piece of shit. It just seem like a piece of shit. You know what? Yeah, I get that. It's almost like, God, you're, you know, you look like you're on cocaine. Your body's moving around a lot.

That's what it is. You're saying I look like I'm on meth is what it looks like. Yeah. That's what the fun part about kids is. They just, they don't care about a repercussion. They totally live in honesty and truth and that's it. So what do you hear? What's the worst thing you've ever heard from your kid?

Did they ever say things like there's someone around you? they go he's fat you know my i've heard my son since he started like being in elementary school like dropping things like that like that person's fat or this sucks and i'm like hey yeah we don't say that dude and the husband's laughing about it he's like that's the problem is sometimes like there's laughter that follows it because they're so cute and you know they don't know what they're saying but like this is i think that's your true job as a parent is just give him a moral compass and like understand how to not hurt people's feelings. Other than that, I really don't have much influence.

He is who he is. Do they tell you look tired? Yeah. Oh, my God. He'll tell me every, you don't look good. I don't like your hair like that. Take that makeup off. That shirt looks funny.

Yeah, yeah. Totally. And I'll be like, the only constructive criticism I really accept well. I'm like, oh, it doesn't. Okay. I don't know how I had a response. I don't know. People always say you'd make a great parent.

because I think I'm a child, but I think I would, I would fire back. Like most people, mature adults, they'd be, you know, the kid would be like, that sweater looks ugly. I'm like, yeah, well, you can't even read. Yeah. So like, what's the, what, you're going to throw me, throw me some shit? You just create another little Rosenbaum. What do you mean?

That's not good, you know? That's what the world needs. Another Rosenbaum. What I would do, and I do with my friends is I, I'm affectionate, I think, although I did that test, that love language. But it's a test you take and you could find out Yeah, yeah. You know, who you are, what your love language is.

What are the five? I think mine was quality time. Get ready for this. Affectionate was last. Like being touched, I guess. You just gave such a good hug when I got here. Yeah, but I think I am affectionate when I feel comfortable, when I feel like it's really authentic.

That's when you should be affectionate. I know, but I tend, most of the time, if I'm not in a relationship or if I'm just seeing someone, I don't want to give them too much to make them lead them on unless I know I'm in it. I don't think that's a bad thing. I know, but it's intimacy. It's a fear of intimacy is what it is. That's not good.

I'm working on that. That's okay. You don't want to, you don't want to mislead anybody. No, but quality time was number one. Quality time was number one. What's the other way?

Giving. Gifts giving? I'm absolutely a giver. Not even on my radar. You don't like giving. No, I love giving gifts, but like receiving gifts. Oh, yeah.

I could give too. Me too. I don't want to receive them. I want to give them. Yes, I love giving gifts. I give more than I get. I don't, and you know what it's number two, I think was words of affirmation. Just like, Ryan, you look really handsome today.

I like that better than the other thing you said. What was that? You look like shit? You look tired? Yeah. Well, your shirt is that blue? I'm colorblind. Yeah, it's blue.

That blue shirt really, uh, it does something with your dark eyes. I don't know what it does, but it, uh, you look really good. Does something positive. But I'm, I would be the best husband if that's what women wanted because I'm genuinely like, your hair. I immediately, if I don't see someone for weeks, I go, you did something with your hair. I'm like, yeah. And every, every boyfriend or husband is going to be like, you fuck.

I'm like, sorry, I just noticed those things. I don't know why. Yeah. Maybe I'm a hairdresser in a secret life. I feel like you and I discover this every time that we would have made a really good couple. Do you think? That's what I like. I like receiving affirmation, positive affirmations.

See, that would work because I like to do that. And I'm genuine about it. I would always be like, God, you look so. Like when I, you walked in. Yeah. I'm surprised you look this good. Really? Why?

Because I have two kids. I think it's everything. You've been through hell. You work all the time. You're married. You have two kids. You have MS. Yeah.

I mean, these things can I don't have MS. And I feel like shit. So, I mean, I can easily look like shit. And you, you're radiant. I'm sure you fight things all the time. Sure. You're dealing with so much. Oh, my God.

I had a terrible morning. What would happen in your morning? I just, my six-year-old is just really hard. Why? When he's great. he's fucking great but when he's not great it's just so

annoying and like yesterday I took him to hockey and I'm watching him and all he's doing is checking kids like he's not listening out like no checking them yes that's what I thought hockey checking right that's what it's called people needed to know sorry no checking on the ice there's a cross check which is illegal there's a hip check

the hip goes in the back check yeah checks all of them and I texted my husband And I'm like, yo, we've, I think we might have the kid that, like, I, like, people don't like. Like, I'm worried that he's annoying and to other people. And, like, I don't like that this is his instinct. And it's like, it's a real issue as a parent because obviously I think my kids are the greatest. But then you're also seeing the side of him and we're like, oh. And it's nothing anyone did.

It's who he is. And he's figuring life out. And then I feel bad. Like, also. talking shit about my kid, but like, and he really, like, everything's a fight. Like, go eat breakfast. Go brush your teeth. No. Go get dressed. I'm like, I literally looked at him this morning. I was like, Bo. Just know this. Because then he's good. By the end of a day, he's like, you know, because he got the Xbox taken away and the iPad taken away yesterday. And he's like,

I hear him in the shower being like, I hate myself. I don't belong in this family. And like part of me like okay that's for show but then another part of me's like oh shit do I need to pay attention to these words and make sure these aren't like I hate myself I don't belong I mean he was saying it oh my gosh yeah he's he wants attention yes so this morning I said to him I was like look bow I'm sure you and I are going to get in a fight today I'm sure I'm going to yell and I'm going to feel bad about it I'm sure you're going to do something misbehave and then you're going to get reprimanded just know this no matter what I think you're the greatest and I love you important just remember that. And, you know, he's like, I'm looking like everywhere but me. And I'm like, look

me in the eye, dude. Tell me you heard me. He's like, I did. I love you. And then the rest of the morning, it's just that shit. Like, and then he, he's VIP at school this week. So they get to, like, bring things in. And so he wants to bring his hockey bag with all his goalie gear. And I'm like, Cheetos, actually. Oh, whatever. And I'm like, Bo, you can't bring like all your hockey gear to school. Like the whole huge, he could fit in his hockey bag. It's like enormous. And just the fight this morning And I just started crying Because I was like

Because I also have a two year old Who's like demands a lot And he's obsessed with me Which I love But it demands a lot of my time and attention Right I also am a wife I also have a career

I also have MS like you said Like I've got a lot I have a lot of roles What does he do though? What does Beau do when he sees you cry On his knees holding my face Telling me he loves me So that's the trigger

He needs to see that you're really hurting that he's really upset you before he could just kind of take it easy on you. Yeah. So he's pushing every button until he goes, ah, I got her. So there's some psychology there. He knows that, you know, I'm going to go, and when she starts crying, then I'll maybe be good. I don't normally

cry. I try not to, but like today I lost it. He was rattled by it. Was it a good cry? Like, what could I do? No, it was just more like a hand, like just my head down in my hands and like I could feel him like hovering over me and he's like, are you crying? And I'm like, yes, dude.

Like, this is too much. How hard is to say, yes, I'm crying because I'm fucking you. I didn't say that. I know, I know. That's how I felt, though. I would do it, but I'm sure Sandler would come out of me every once in a while. You know, if I'd go, would you just do what I tell you? That's Farley.

Sandler would be like, it's something we could have talked about yesterday. You know, I think I would, that's how I would chat. I'd have to work on that. Right. But you said something. I'm going to rewind because I was trying. I was like, stay focused in what she's saying. and I want to hear it, but also

I'm going to go back about three and a half minutes and you said that, I don't know, do I have the annoying kid? Yeah. Is it the, I have been around parents that I'm like, are you fucking blind and death that you can't see

what a monster your fucking kid is? Like I had him in my house and I, dude, I had a kid in my house once. Yeah. I mean, with other families, that sounds weird. I had a kid in my house once. I was like, what? No, not like that.

One time. One time. You had a kid. And I remember there was a kid over with this mom or something. And the kid has a, let's just say, a knack for fucking shit up. Oh. And I think he does it on purpose. And I happened to be behind this kid one time while he was walking around my house.

I just happened to be walking behind him at the time. I wasn't like, I wasn't following the child to see what he was going to do. I had this Lord of the Rings chest set. Don't ask me why, but I have it. Fancy. And he just stopped for a second when he looked over to it. And he just backhanded all of the pieces. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. No. And walked on. And I go, hey. And he turned around. I go, what the heck was that about, man? And he's like, I go, dude, look, you don't knock people stuff over. You don't do that stuff.

Yeah. All right? You don't do that in someone else's house. I'm sure you don't do it in your own house. That's not cool. Nobody likes that kid. all right i like you you're a good kid but right now that kind of crap people aren't going to like you so don't do that something something like that and he just goes and he just like this

you know that look that you know but i wanted to make sure he didn't cry like it like it was uh they were there did they notice that he was doing this shit and say anything because that's my issue i don't like when parents are so into like being around other adults like trust me I get it when it's like a reprieve, but like also be responsible for your kid. Like my husband and I, that's, I'm very grateful. Cutter and I are like super on top of our kids. Like, was he respectful? Jack.

What a cool name, right? Cutter Bo Jack. That's like the cool family man. But yeah, yeah, you're aware of it. I'm very aware. I'm like, did he say thank you when you gave that to him? Like, I'm, I'm that mom. That's good.

I'm on him because I know he hears it. I know it'll click one day. Like I know. And let me say this, Bo is his worst at home. When he's with other people and other adults, he's great. And I think I guess I would rather it be that way than him being like, you know, a dick to other kids and other adults. You don't want to be a bully.

No, I know, not at all. And that's so grateful that he's really kind to other kids to the point where he gets upset. He won't watch the Samlot anymore. or Mighty Ducks because he doesn't like when kids are being mean to other kids. Oh, that's nice. That's a good thing. Because if he's liking things like that and animals are being killed,

then that's on your way to being a serial killer. And you don't want that. No, he might be annoying, but he's not a serial killer. I think it's important, I mean, to show the love, I love you. But there's also, like, I think that, again, I'm not a father. And everybody listening is probably going to be like, dude, you don't know what you're talking about. But I'm just telling you what I would do theoretically.

Theoretically, if my kid, we went to another house and I saw him doing stuff, I would tell him before we got there. I want you to have a great time. I want you to enjoy yourself. But I'm telling you right now, if you do something and I say stop and you continue on or you break something, you knock something out, we're just going. There's not going to be, no, dad, please, you're going to start crying and be upset, but we're going. And you're only going to learn if I do that. If I put my foot down and we leave the party, I'm upset because we had to leave.

You're upset. And the next time we go to a party, maybe you're dumbass. won't do it again. And that's how I feel. Barrying him with love. I love you. I'm proud of you. You'll never be stupid in my eyes. Just be honest. Be the best you can be. You know, all the things I didn't hear. But, you know, these things are important. But also like, you know, my friend Chris was telling me once. He's like, man, these kids nowadays, nobody smacks on them or gives him a smack on the ass or you can't talk about that shit. He's like, man, my dad busted my ass. And he's like, yeah, my dad busted my ass every once in a while. I'm like, it's like, and you know what? I,

I didn't do shit again. Yeah. I learned. You get a smack on the ass and people don't talk about it now. I got paddled in school. Now, that's bad because that's embarrassing. I got spanked and hit for sure. Yeah.

I think most kids our generation did. What are you, 38? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Did you research me or something? I don't know. I'm 38. But yeah, no, but no, you can't do that now.

No, you can't. And you can't hit another kid's kid. Another adult's kid. I know you can. The good old days. No, but, you know, it's like... You can coach Bo. I bet you'd like, Bo.

Oh, I play hockey, so I would. He's such a dude. You'd love him. I was saying when I got in this room, I was like he would love... He has, whenever my husband goes out of town or I go out of town, like, to, you know, for us to feel better about our guilt of being away, he gets a new jersey. So he's has 17 hockey jerseys right now. Are you serious? So he's building his little collection.

Oh, maybe I can get him one. Oh, that's sweet. I'll tell you what team he doesn't have. What? I don't know. I have to look. I have to go through his closet. San Jose sharks.

Burnsy. He's one of my good buddy. He doesn't have sharks. I mean, I'm not saying he has like signs. He has like ones that he wears like in his closet. He wants jerseys that he would wear. Yes. Oh, okay.

I'll get him a rangers. He has, he has three rangers ones. All right. So listen, while you've been away, because it's been a while. Yeah. You have, you've been working a lot. I actually quit acting in between, though. I quit acting for a year.

You quit acting when you're having the second child. Jack. That's when you quit, but you've been going on. lately, right? I just started back again in the summer. Now, how hard is that with a family and dealing with MS and getting cast and people knowing the situation and going, can I do this? And the studio is going, can Jamie do this? Can she get through the scenes? Can she, are they patient? Are people nice? How does that even work? It's hard enough to get an acting

job. For sure. But when you have something that you're like, well, this is part of me. Yeah. You know, what do you do? I'm still grappling with like walking into an audition room, like owning it. Do you know what I mean? Because it's out there. People know it is what it is. Thank God because you're so open. And that's important.

Only the past couple of years. I mean, I wasn't for a long time. Well, let me take it back. So first, I quit acting because I kind of just needed to give myself a chance to see if I gave a fuck anymore about it. You know, sometimes you can get in the grind and like the hamster wheel of it. And you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Like, I know I love it when I'm doing it, but I don't love the getting the job part.

Like, I don't love auditioning. I don't love the stress of it all. Like, and I was just like, you know, I got two kids. I have a lot of my plate. Like, I need to really see if I love this. I'm going to step away from it for a little while. And I thought that my reps were going to be like so supportive because a lot of the times I think, and it's my own thing, I guess, but I just assume that people.

still want to work with me because I'm nice and like they love me but not because of any value of like my talent or anything see you suffer from the same shit we all do like we're not good enough but they like me of course you're good enough well when I had my manager I thought I truly thought my manager was going to be like I support this jame I love you you didn't support you he was like fuck no you're not quitting I'm going to give you a few weeks and then you're going to call me and I was like but I get but it was a year and he kept calling and he kept calling and I was like, not yet, not yet.

And I had this moment where I was sitting on the floor with my kids and it was like a nice moment. Everyone was playing nicely. Like nothing was wrong and it was like my breath got taken away and I was like, I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom. Like there is, I have to honor that there's like other shit I still want to do.

Mom, are you okay? Are you crying? Yeah, but this isn't about you this time. I was like, holy fuck. So I went back to acting class because I wanted to see. I'm like, okay, I had that moment, But, like, I want to get back in this grind and, like, see. Acting class.

So you didn't jump back in auditioning back in, wait a minute. Which I haven't been in in, I don't know, 10 years. I almost feel like acting class would be even scarier. Beyond everybody's 20 and amazingly gorgeous and just moved to L.A. And, like, you know. And what happens in an acting class? Because it's been a while since I've been in acting class. But do you, like, they give you scenes and you have to memorize them.

Is that hard to do since you hadn't done it in a year? So how long did it take you? I don't, I mean, I do it during naps or like, you know, when the kids went to bed. and I took it super seriously and I loved that I wasn't great at first. Like I was a little rusty and I like I see these kids in there that like shut down when they start getting like direction or or redirection like these literally these young kids are like they're like hmm mm-hmm but me I'm like uh-huh uh-huh okay yeah I'll do it that way oh yeah you're right I do do that like I love being dissected because how long did you do

this for. I'm still in it. How long has this been? Almost a year. In April, I went back into acting class and then I got my first job in June. And then I worked straight from June all the way till now. I did this really fun, like, and everything was offered. I don't know what happened with the universe because I told you, like, I fucking hate auditioning. And I can't remember the last time, to be honest, I've booked anything from an audition, but everything, it just kept coming in. Like, I did a little movie. And then I did this sitcom for Adult Swim with Tim and Eric. um the comedians and had a great time during doing that and then i did you a dumb luck you go tim and erika i know i know you don't know i'm like i would figure you would know them i was just listening

and i just didn't know i didn't know you needed me to go uh-huh i did yeah i did you know that one you either know them okay yeah i do know them okay yeah i do know okay yeah and then i did a bunch of indies i did a tv movie and then i did another one and then i finished the year in december i literally worked back to back to back to back which was kind of insane to go from like not working at to like not stop working. But there's almost what I needed to get back in the swing of things and understand that like my kids still love me.

They don't feel neglected. I hate the word balance, but I can do both. And then the last thing I did was the short film in December and it was the most gratifying acting experience of my entire life. What was it?

It's the short film called I'm on fire with this director Michael Spickia and it was like just fucking gritty. I've never done a short before where it took, 12 days to shoot 12 minutes like if you think about like the the detail that was shot and it was amazing could you have done that without the acting class sure I could have done it maybe not as well you wouldn't have been as good you wouldn't have to learn your lines as fast because you're not that

no I think it's just more of like feeling rooted and like I don't know I'm come from the school of like I don't I don't feel comfortable getting something unless I worked for it um so it feels like I'm, like, doing my work, so I feel like I belong there more. Not only that, but I think, you know, whether you're an actor or not, but like, it's almost like they, when you get hired, just, let's just hire Michael Rosenbaum or let's hire Jamie Lynn Sigler. And you get hired, you're almost like, well, I don't know exactly what they want me to do. Right.

And so then you're hired and then all of a sudden you're doing it. And if you had auditioned and got it, then they're like, oh, you're like, well, whatever I did, that's what they want. So I'm just going to do that. It's kind of weird, like, do you guys want this? I don't exactly know what you want. Am I doing it right? So there could be like that.

Yes. And then to also reference like the whole MS conversation of it all. In order for me to feel comfortable, I have to have like the same conversation with everyone I'm about to work with, which is like, here's my limitations. What are they? I can't run. High heels are hard. Walking long distances, I'm going to start to limp. So like, you know, keeping the shots.

shorter. Mornings are better. No, no. I have full energy. Like, fortunately, it doesn't affect me cognitively, energy-wise. Everything's just kind of like the waist down. And it's just more it gets tired. But if I sit and rest, and I'll always tell you if I need anything, I've never ever needed a break. I've never told anyone I needed a break because I'm not trying to, like, be a superhero. I just haven't. And then directors and people are willing to work around it. So I've been very fortunate, you know, I, I still feel. like a burden and I still feel bad that I have to have that conversation and I'm comforted every time and being like, please, Jamie, everybody has something like, this is no big deal.

We can figure this out. But that's not, you know, it sounds, you're really strong because I wish I could have these conversations about my own things beforehand. So like, hey, listen, they're insecurities about myself and like, you know, if I'm this or if I'm that or you know. Wouldn't it be nice to do that, though? Wouldn't it be great? Hey, listen, man.

Yeah, you never get hired. They're like, uh, what? This guy is nervous. He gets anxiety attacks. He's like, you know, there's certain. Yeah, I don't get any of those things. That's good. Maybe because all of my energy is channeled and focusing on my physicality of

everything. Do you ever notice it? Do you ever notice things when you're watching? Pick it apart all the time. Like you're like, uh, that walk right there. All of time. That's because of the MS. And I hate it.

Which is why I don't watch myself a lot of time. Can you go to a close up or can you cut in? No, I've never gotten the balls to do that. I always assume that they're going to do what looks best and I trust them. But I mean, I catch it. And it's a bummer. And sometimes it's like, you know, I can feel like I'm doing great and like there's still something there. And it's like, I don't know, it's a reality check.

It's it's not the most fun for me. You know, because I also, you know, when I'm not working and momming, like all of my hours sitting here with you. I'm, you know, like really heavily focused on fighting this all the time and trying to get as well as I can and, and, you know. Like right now while we're talking, are you fighting it? No, I'm relaxed. You are. There's nothing about you right now that you're feeling like. Nothing.

There's nothing abnormal. No. And you take medications? Twice a year. And then I have like. Twice a year. Well, like an intravenous chemotherapy twice a year. It's like an immunosuppressive.

Does that help? It's, well. The only MS meds that are really out there are ones that suppress the disease. So slow it down. I've been stable for over nine years with no changes. No changes. And that's why I feel confident working, too, because it's not, I tell them, like, it's not like I'm going to wake up one day and, like, not be able to move or this or that.

Like, my MS is not that. Right. Sometimes I wish it was relapse remitting so I could have really great days and then be like, oh, this is a bad day. But I guess if I had to choose, it would much. Normalcy, some kind of normal say. work is like this is how it is because then I guess that is more of a crap shoot yeah but what about like you know our friend Selma Blair she's she's in a different level she has a very

different disease than me and what is that I mean it's hers is relapse remitting but hers affects her like so many different ways it's so it's it's heartbreaking so there's all different levels of this disease it's not just everybody who has it has the same thing all everybody who has it lives the same. So people could live long, they can live short. You know, that's just the way it is. And so you, have you ever thought of like, why should I watch myself? I'm going to do the best work I can because you kind of want to see yourself and see the work you did. I most of the time don't watch myself. Did you used to? No, actually. Uh, well, yeah, I mean, I think I get, I think I get nervous to watch. No, I've never actually never. I've only seen the first season of Sopranos and then the first episode of every season and the last, very last episode. I think I just get. that, well, that's because I got MS closely after. Not that I was symptomatic at all,

but I think it's just, it just got in my head. And I just, also too, like I, like in class, like I love somebody else picking apart my acting that has perspective, but I just feel like I don't have proper perspective on myself. Right. Why put my side? I'd much rather watch like Vanderpump Rules than that. Would you?

Yeah. I commend you. I mean, without a mess. I don't have a choice. I don't feel like I have, I don't feel like I have, I don't feel, like, I don't feel like I need, like, applause for the way I do things. Do you know what I mean? Like, I just feel like, I truly feel like if anyone was in my position, they would do

the same things as me. I do. I'd like to believe that because, A, I have kids. B, I have dreams. And, like, I'm 38. Like, I don't want to throw it all in. Right. You know, I just, I don't know.

I tried it. I tried it. And you told you, I sat in the floor and I was like, fuck, no, I can't do it. I bet it was when you first. got diagnosed and all this and you're going through it you're probably there are probably a lot of days you're like fuck it i don't even want to do anything i'm just i'm done i could i have every right to i have every excuse in the book i think that's what i've become very conscious of lately was like i am done allowing ms to be an excuse like i it's it's a very easy have i used it like out

of sex and things like that for sure but like wait wait wait what you know like in times when my husband's like hey and i'm like i can't be i'm so tired my legs hurt like I'm lying you can just say MS sweetie I'm just going to say to my husband MS I'm just like I just want to F M S M S so you just keep it with letters I want to F M S sweetie I guess I could no F MS I guess I could MS M S and F I choose not to do that because it's way too easy and I told you I like to work for things so it's that's the easy route I mean I think it's with with anything else I mean it's probably I don't know if this analogy is going to work Ryan whenever I look at Ryan I always know something's not going to work I'll cut it

if it doesn't yeah well like depression like anxiety sure i don't know i think that if you let it get the best of you if you're just like i give up i'm just going to let this anxiety ruin my life and i'm going to let this depression take over and i'm not going to get help and i'm not going to exercise like ms obviously ms you can't get rid of but you could control something you can at least be the best version of yourself you could feel the best that you can feel by doing the things that you know will help or the things because rolling over and just saying fuck it you're going to deteriorate if you just didn't exercise and you didn't do this mentally this would debilitate you more and the disease would become more for sure right so I think that's the same thing with depression you

don't go see a doctor you don't you know if you're drinking caffeine at 11 o'clock at night you're gonna these anxiety is going to take over I've seen this happen with me right so it's a matter I'm trying to let yourself feel, though. Like, I definitely let myself have days where I'm like, this fucking sucks. I'm sad. I'm angry. Do you just cry sometimes? Oh, yes.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash inside of you. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash. inside of you. You know what's funny. I'm about to go do something called EMDR. Have you ever heard of this? Yes, I did it.

How was it? I'm doing it next week. EMDR. It's like rapid eye movement. It's so, you know, everybody who listens to me knows I went to a wellness center like last year. I don't know if you knew. I didn't know that.

Yeah. I just wanted to feel better and get better and all these things. And, you know, I had some, I think what happens is a lot of people have traumas and they don't know what they don't really know how severe they are for instance when i heard about EMDR i heard oh they give this to um vets right people who thought in wars and have seen the worst things that none of us could even imagine and i think oh well it's it works for them because that's real trauma my trauma is not real your trauma it can't be that's what i thought it was a respect thing it was like no these soldiers die they see death all around them and what the

therapist was trying to tell me. It was like, stop. We're trying to make you better. And you probably had some trauma. And if you did, we'll get to the bottom of it. And so I was in this room. And I said, I want to try this EMDR. But I don't feel like, I don't know. It's not right for me. It's for vets. And she's like, we start talking. And 30 minutes. For vets and Jamie. Well, she starts talking to me. And she goes, I go, uh, what about the EMDR? She goes, oh, yeah, we're not going to do that. And I go, yeah, yeah, I'm not right for that. So, yeah, I get it. And then we start talking about stuff.

And then the next session, you know, and I go, yeah, so we're not going to get into the EMDR stuff. I mean, why would we? I mean, there's nothing here, right? I'm telling her. She's like, yeah, yeah, we're not going to do that. I'm like, yeah, I think so. And then we start talking.

And then she goes, I'm just talking about a moment. And like, I was talking to you. I suddenly went. And then I was just like, boom. And then this happened. I don't want to say it. but like and and it's not that it's bad it's just that I don't want to call anybody out but you know I just had this moment where I just I it was visceral it was I mean I could see it and if you're

looking at me telling the story I'm like and I'm just this little boy and I was just like you know and then and then she goes I think you're ready and I go for what she goes do you want to do this and I go, uh, she was that, that moment you just had right there. I'd like to explore that. And I go, no, I don't even know what to do. She'll start. Yes, she'll stop. You don't have to control everything. You don't have to do this is just, just try this. Like, okay. And she came over to me. She's so sweet and so calm. And she goes, I want you to close your eyes. And I want you to think of this moment. And I just want you to stay in this moment. Think of it. And when you open your eyes, my finger is going to go like this. Don't turn your head with it. I want you to just

with your eyes back and forth and you just follow my finger and you think of that moment. And I'll walk you through it. And I said, okay. So I closed my eyes and she goes, okay, I want you to go back there. And I took as long as I needed. I didn't feel like I was rushed. Like I show up my eyes now. She's probably ready for me to do this. You know what I mean? And I opened them and she goes, okay now just follow my finger stay in that moment and i'm telling you i went from i don't know to i too hysterical like overwhelming emotion came over me i couldn't it almost makes me emotional thinking about it because of how emotional i was like she says um are you okay i go yeah no no this this feels good i feel i just i don't know she was okay close your eyes and we did it again and we did

it again and like four or five times and i'm not telling you where you can go i'm saying don't control your mind when you do it but i ended up at a place where that moment it's not that that moment was just gone right it's not that that moment was um wasn't real or it was as though what she says is sometimes it's like you knock down a tree. It's like this big tree that you're knocking down. And all these other little emotions that play into that emotion. So, for instance, if it was some kind of abuse or if it was some kind of like neglect, whatever it was, death. If you had other moments in your life, even though you didn't talk about those moments,

it's almost like little trees start to fall down. Because when you get to the root of what the problem is, a lot of the, those things you're able to let you're able to let go and what happens is and i didn't know this she goes i want you to think of that moment again close your eyes think of that moment boom boom boom boom boom boom and i go she goes i go i'm sorry she was what i go i go i just i just can't really i can't get there she says you can't get there i go no it's i don't know it's like I know that moment's there, but I can't get to that moment. Like I can't.

And what I found was as the days went on, even now, whenever I think of that moment, if I try to, which I don't, but if I try, I know it's there. But it's like it doesn't affect me like that anymore. It just doesn't. It's science. It fucking works. I know you've read about it. Yeah.

And people who have had trauma. Yeah. I think if you're willing to talk about it and find, and by the way, this was, this wasn't like, this is the moment I want to work on. Right. This was out of the blue. A moment we were talking. I just go, this.

She goes, that's the talk about that. I go, that. Oh, no, that couldn't have affected. Oh, my God. Did that affect me as a kid? That's so cool. So all I say is be open. It may not work right away.

You may not do it right away. But I feel like you're an open person. You've been through so much that I feel like you're going to get to, you're going to. Well, I was saying, I was going to say that I have. like I feel like you know me well you would probably one of the last things you would describe me as is an angry person right angry I don't see you was angry at all I have so much anger inside of me and I don't know why and that's what like led me into finding EMDR and like finding a vetted person that I'm going to start with next week because I'm like what the fuck is this anger and

obviously I do all this type of reading on disease and like the emotional components of it and the causes, the root causes, because, you know, some people believe that disease is manifested from trauma and emotions that are stuck in your body. And anger, shame, and guilt are associated with MS. And those are three things that I deal with. And I don't know why. So after next week, and we'll see from them, I'll keep you posted. I want to know. Watch, I'm going to be like running marathons when I'm done with EMDR. You know, I remember when I was doing the EMDR, there was one of the sessions where it was only one session that I really the other ones I forced I tried to get back there yeah but what I needed to do is let that moment take over and go and that was enough

and I'd like to do it again when I'm ready I'd like to do and I think there are there's a lot of things that I that are uh that need to be taken care of that need to be let out know yeah but I remember there was one thing I was like you know I remember going because I'm not a fucking idiot i was like like yelling not yelling screaming i was like of course i'm fucking smart of course on this how could i possibly i was almost validating myself like of course how could you be successful like this how could you do this if you weren't do you think you're that stupid like i'm almost telling this little boy that you're not you're all these things that you're not how could you have gone on and done all these things being dumb and being like all these and it was crazy i was

like it was truly i know it's it's sad it's sad but it's also Like, these are the things you have to, like, you have to face these things. Because if you don't face them, if you don't get them out, then what's the point? Then you're living the rest of your life and you're not being the best you. When I had my like pre-call with the therapist, she was telling me. I have things like that. Pre-com. Yeah.

Pre-call. We go to some serious to pre-com. Go ahead. She was telling me, she's like, you know, when you see adults have road rage or they're reactive, that's not the adult in them reacting. It's the child. So healing that trauma heals behavior that you have now that you just feel like is just, you know, sorry, I just have road rage or I just have this or I have that. You know, you don't have to have that.

That's something that was learned or something happened to you that. I got it from watching my dad, watching my older brother, watching them on the road. You know, I just remember my dad driving. It's like, oh, eat me. You know, screaming on the shit. What the, what that fuck? Watch where you're going, asshole. Oh, like you're seeing this as a kid who I guy.

Cutter has it. For sure, his dad had it. I mean, come on. I mean, there's, oh, my God. Lenny Dykstra? Fuck. Is he in jail? No.

He's out. We don't have contact with Lenny right now, but he, uh, I, sometimes I'm like, I'll catch a tweet or two. And I saw something where he was like, it's been something amount of months since I've been arrested. So I don't know. It's amazing, man, because that guy was like everybody's hero, you know. Yeah. And I, everybody goes through shit. Maybe he needs EMDR.

Maybe he needs a lot of things. He's an addict. When I first met Lenny, did we talk about this? Probably. That's a long time ago. And now people are probably listening and watching because, you know. Okay. Well, I first met him right before he went into jail.

It's when Cutter and I first started dating. Like three weeks into dating and his dad went unexpectedly to jail. He thought he was going for a court date and literally was cuffed and sent to jail that day. Which was a very dark moment to go through with like your new beau, you know? And so then he was in jail for about a year and a half. and when he came out, we had a son and he was wonderful. I loved sitting and talking with him. I loved hearing him talk about baseball with Cutter and just he was reserved and kind

and a good listener. And then, you know, just life happens and like certain habits start to come back. And I think when, you know, the persona of nails and what people want and he's trying to give people what they want but live this life and I think it just kind of caught up. And then I saw kind of him change and it was a bummer. But I still think of that's who I met is who Lenny is. It's the other shit that changes him. So I will never say a bad thing about him.

I think it's the right choice right now for like us not to have contact. But I do, if my kids ever ask me about who their grandpa is, I'll say he was great. Yeah. He was great. You saw the real side. You know, and a lot of times it is a persona and it's something that you're like, this is what they want to see or this is what I'm so used to playing that the vulnerable side just seems like, oh, I'm a pussy.

I can't do this. I can't talk about that. I just want, I want to be, you know, tough as nails. We all want to label people, good people or bad people. And I just think that's fucked up. I think everybody is light and dark. Everybody is good and bad. Everyone just has choices and everybody has weaknesses.

And sometimes the other side wins or the other side loses. Yeah. You know, he, some of us are not strong enough to fight those. How hard is it, though, I have to imagine. I can't even imagine what Cutter goes through. It's hard. It's sad. I mean, it had to be tough.

It had to be tough. It was something that was significant enough that he had to draw the line. And it was really sad for him and really sad for me. And it was almost like he had to like mourn his dad. Do you know what I mean? It was almost like. Was he scared of his father? I'm sure there was some level of that.

I mean, he's an intimidating guy. And like, especially when it was like, to talk around like baseball and this yeah i mean i'm sure lenny especially i think in the darker days where lenny like wasn't sleeping and when they lost their fortune i think that was like a very scary time for the family Jesus yeah it's crazy talking about this stuff it is life man it's great i still don't see you with it you know it's funny you say you have these anger issues that's like if you lined up 10 no one knows it of course obviously you know it's weird though when i'm acting it's like my first choice

that I wanted to use is like anger. So I know it's simmering in there. By the way, it's funny you say that because you'll never see me lose my shit. But when you keep my brother once, Eric, by the way, my brother is always has my back. The nicest. He was in our game nights. Yeah, Eric's great. But once I'm in the van and I was really hungry.

And that's one thing. When I'm hungry, I just got to eat. Yeah. So if I tell you, Jamie, we should eat probably in a half an hour. Are you cool with that? I'm hungry. Yeah. And even if you're not hungry, go, yeah.

If you're hungry, you should eat. I know you. Right. And then it's an hour. And then it's an hour and a half. Now, my brother, it wasn't even that it was time. It was, he was so defiant. I remember specifically he's driving.

And I'm in the back seat. And I go, hey, dude, can we just stop at a jack in the box? Man, I'm just going to get a quick spicy chicken jack and some fries, some curleys. And he's like, no. Just dismissive. What's the big fucking deal? And I go, I go, seriously, though, man, I'm really hungry. I thought he was kidding.

I go, you know, I'm really hungry. So just like, no, we got to get in the road, man. I go, I know, dude, I'm really hungry. And he kept going like he was listening to me. He was like, he passed it, got on the river. I go, dude, I told you, I want to get something to eat. And he's just like, yeah, well, we're not going to do that right now. And dude, the next thing you know, there is a football.

For some reason, there's a football in the van. And it just goes right by his head. I try, I tried to fucking hit him. If I was Joe Montana, I would have fucking popped him in this fucking head. But I mean, if somebody pushes your buttons, will you fucking lose it? Oh, when Cutter will not stop, like, harping. Like, he can, he gets on things and then doesn't stop. I lose my shit.

Show me your shit. Show me your temper. I can't. Is it scary? No, it's not scary. It's almost funny. It's almost like comical. I think when I get angry, people laugh because I look ridiculous. Like, I'm not somebody that's like a good angry.

I'm like, I get like very rigid and like, I'm like, uh, uh, and it's like, we need to do this. Yes. Why isn't this happening? Like, yeah, like, we were fighting last night about something. And I was like, and he, he realized I was right. And he, I was looking at him being like, so can you apologize? And he was staring at the TV being like, I'm sorry.

Okay. I'm sorry. I was like, no. He's like, I said I'm sorry. What more do you want? I was like, if you don't look at me and say you're sorry, I don't buy that you're sorry. Like, how would. you think I'm supposed to accept an apology of you staring at fucking Apple TV.

Look at me. This is me angry. This is me angry. You know what? I have to say, I'm not saying it in a chauvinistic way, but it's kind of like, if I was cut her, I might be like, it's kind of sexy. She's anger. We had sex after her.

I know. I looked at it. I was like, I don't know. She's kind of feisty and funny. You know what I said? I was like, I'm still going to have sex with you after this, but you have to look at me and apologize. Like, I was like, and then I did the whole thing.

We're like, here, look, look at me and pretend I did something kind of fucked up to you. And I'm going to look at the TV and just be like, sorry, Cutter. All right, I'm sorry. I was like, do you feel apologized to? Now, does he, did he learn from that? So the next time he's like, he looks at you and goes, hey, I'm sorry. He's called me so much from work today. So I think so.

So this happened recently. Last night. This was last night when you freaked out. And then, and then Beau pissed you off this morning. Yes. So you've had a rough morning and evening. I've been, were you going to cancel a podcast? No.

What do you mean? This is like witch. our afternoon with both my kids. I'm so happy to be here right now. This is therapy too, isn't it? Yeah, I love seeing you. I love seeing you. It's really great seeing you.

It is great seeing you. It is. You have a podcast. I have two. Okay, that wasn't in my notes. Well, I have Mama Said, which is, um, it's a year old. I do it with my friend Jenna. And it's just all about like the ups and downs of parenting.

Not just moms. We just have Bob Sagitt's our guest this week that we launched. He has a potty mouth. He was fucking awesome. I mean, he's equal parts, dirty-ass comic and, like, so reflective and kind. Very smart. Very smart. He's a wonderful guest.

So that I have Mama said. And then I have my newer baby podcast called Pajama Pants that I do with Robert Eiler, who played my brother on Sopranos and our friend Cassum. And that's new. And that's new. We're like 21 episodes, 22 episodes in. We just had Dr. Drew on, though, which was kind of cool. Can you help me up with that?

I want to get that. Dr. would be perfect for the show. If we can get Dr. Drew, you can get Dr. Drew? I was on love line three or four times, and I can't get the fuck. I don't know how to get him. He knows somebody to email. I don't know how we could.

He drove all the way to our garage studio and like Silver Lake all the way in the east side. Like so if we can get him, you can get him. Fuck, yeah. He was an amazing guest. He's great. I remember when I was doing Love Line stuff, I was like, hey, is it true if like right after sex, if you pee, probably won't get a disease? He's like, that's retarded. Why are you talking?

He didn't say retarded. He didn't say retarded. He loves EMDR, by the way. I told him I was doing it and he was so stoked. people just think like he like they haven't heard from him in a while but Rob has been sober for almost seven years I mean but he had a major drinking problem and then opioid and benzo addiction and he kicked it and he's wonderful and then Kassam had some drinking issues and then there's me so like we're three very different people that we just talk about everything and

nothing yes by way what kind of sparked this was they were like can you ask your friend by the way you didn't text me back i didn't they know they were like can you have your friend ask your friend michael rosenbaum and i was like yeah and i texted you and you didn't write me back what are you talking about go look at i'm gonna call you're a lie right now call me out that was another son we had never made it oh i just got your text from an hour ago by all right well then i did text you maybe not about that are you going to scroll back what was your question was will you come on our podcast babe long time no speak so rob lyre iler iler who played my brother and sopranos lives here now we are doing a podcast together as well, but he mentioned to me that he loves yours.

If you ever want him on, I'm happy to introduce you guys. And then yesterday I said, see you tomorrow, man. So I didn't respond, I guess. I thought I did. He can't come here because he's like freakishly allergic to dogs. But I really, of course I wanted to do this. I thought I responded. This was two months ago.

I was like, see you tomorrow. You're lucky I brought you back. I mean, of course I do your podcast. I'll be on tomorrow if you want. Well, we'll figure it out. You know? You'll come on. So, yes, I have pajama pants and it's so fun.

Jamma pants. We talk about all kinds of crazy shit. Do you love it? I love it. Isn't it cool? It is cool. It's a really, I look forward to that. Like, it doesn't, uh, I have zero expectations when I go into either of them.

Do you know what I mean? It's not about a result when you podcast. It's like so nice to have conversation and, and I'm getting better at that because I always sit around. I go, yeah, I don't, I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't. Really? talk about and I always just start talking that's what part it's letting people listen in on it this is

what you and I would have talked about if we sat down for lunch probably a million percent so that's what people get listen in an intimate conversation that's what podcasting is you like I would I mean yes almost exactly this is not any different no than you know yeah isn't that crazy yeah I do I there's something about it that to me is just honest and innocent and pure and just cool and people actually listen. And they're like, dude, this touched my life. The interview with Jamie Lynn opening up about her life and MS and this and just like, oh my God, gave me hope. I only listen to a podcast in my car. I never listen to music anymore. Would you quit acting if somebody says you're going to make a ton of money doing this podcast, but we need your full time. No. Oh, I don't

know. Like, what's a ton of money? What's a ton of money, Ryan? What, like a couple million dollars a year? Yeah. I'll give you a million dollars a year, but I can't act anymore. A million thousand a year but I can't know a million cash no yeah but but you can't act I so want to enjoy my life yeah but oh so acting you enjoy it yes do you enjoy the long hours um I don't mind it well I think it's more if I'm I I really want a job in L.A you know what I want I want to be in a fucking sitcom for the next few years just because my kids are little isn't that the dream job do you like multi-cam stuff no why just see just the um I hate to say this because I want to sound like a dick.

I've done it before. Yeah. I just think it's... It's not the most... It's not the deepest work. You know, I just think it's... People love it. So who do I know?

Big Bang, there's a huge hit. Millions of people love it. They make millions of... What is my opinion matter? My opinion is... It's just, it's like, what is it? What am I doing here? That's what...

Right. No, I get it. I want a little substance. I've done it. Are you acting still? Yeah, I mean, I am, but I'm... Are you directing? Yeah, I'm working on stuff.

Cool. I went through stuff. I told you the treatment thing. I was not feeling while. I had neck surgery. So now I'm getting in a stronger place. And I'm working on that. I'm figuring out what I want to do.

You got your laser stuff done. You're ready to be in front of the camera. But yeah, I'm working on stuff. Like there's a show that I wrote and I just got a great showrunner who's really amazing. I can't say anything. But we're going to start pitching that. I got an animated series that we're pitching. And so there's a lot of things that I'm like, and I like creating, you know.

But I do love acting if it could be just like, hey, so you're just going to act from 12 to 4. today. That's why I love sitcoms. Well, here's the thing. Sitcom though you're doing in front of a live studio audience. That's the best part of it.

To me, that's too much nerve. It's nerve wrecking. They're changing the script around. There's like 35 pages. You got to memorize all this shit. It scares me, man.

I used to love it. I don't know if I used to love it. There's just something. I like the, you're right. It's the easiest schedule. If that's how your mind works. I can be home for bedtime

every night except one night a week. For mom. For mom. My beau would fucking love it. Not many How many? I have not I don't know

I don't watch TV Harley What are they Ryan? Like multi cam Yeah I don't know What they are anymore

Your mother Was the people like that One I liked that I like that one Yeah that's been done For a while Okay

Yeah Big Bang Just finished That one just finished Too My mom is good Sadrick the entertainer Big Bang theory

Scares the shit In me Those guys Do you hear What he's Memorizing every week Fuck But you get the

Whole week To practice They're changing lines up until Thursday night. His muscle is strong for that. He's smarter than I am. He's got that muscle.

He's got that lucky thing. You can work that muscle too. Fuck that. I don't want to work that muscle. It drives me up a fucking wall. All right. Well, you and I will never be a sick home together. A heart attack.

Wouldn't we have so much fun? Yeah, but I'd rather do like a horror movie and you're there for three months. I'd rather do like a, uh, even a what else? A, uh, a half hour. What do you want? A half hour, like the one I wrote, something that's like, hey, let's go shoot this for three or four months and you've done for the rest of the rest of rest of the year you want a streaming yeah Netflix it's like 10 episodes 8 to 10 episodes a year

bust my ass know all the stuff before I get there I'm and then just do this and then boom what the that's that's the dream that's the dream love it putting it out there I'm just saying that's what I'd love to do I'd love that that's what I was on that show and pastor it was great I was blessed I was so great show it was it was great thank you and I loved it and I loved the people I just it got canceled that for two seasons and that would have been a great job I would have done it for six years yeah yeah you know yeah but like when you get older, it's just, it's harder to do certain things. I'm, you know, I'm getting close to 50.

So those long, like one hour, when people say, hey, well, you do a one hour drama, 22 episodes a year. It's a big commitment. I just, I just don't want to do it. Look, again, if I had to feed a fucking family, I'm a single loser here.

If I had a family, if I had, I mean, I do support some of my family. But if I had to work like, like that, I would do anything. there's nothing I wouldn't do if I had to work yeah I would work at McDonald's I've worked at McDonald's I worked at a go-car place I was a mechanic at a go-car track mechanic in college I worked at a roller rink I was the DJ at a roller rink I worked at a grocery store at McDonald's I worked I worked at a telemarketing place I want to see that show all the incarnations of Michael

Rosenbaum all the jobs yeah I don't give a shit I'm look I'm lucky I'd like to when I was talking about the podcast if I made if I can yeah then I'd love to just sit in this room all day and just talk to people who are more interesting like you. You know? Definitely not more interesting. Ryan, you're interesting. Kind of. Are you always this into Ryan?

No. Actually, not. This is the most I've talked to Ryan, I think, ever. Isn't that true? Yeah, this is the most you've talked. It's the shirt. Wear that shirt again.

It's what it is. I think it is. Are you excited about bingo night tomorrow night? Very excited. I'm more excited about tacos though. I love the tacos. Oh, yeah. I'm having a taco truck in Bingon.

I told my, I told my friends, I said, listen, here's the deal. I said, 15, bucks all you can eat tacos that includes everything in my cleanup and all that shit bring an extra five bucks for bingo night we got 30 people coming so fun we're gonna have big games of bingo for real money i bought a really expensive bingo my god the wheel this this is life so fun podcasts bingo i'm with you look i just want to you know what it is i want to do things because i really want to have fun and i know i'm going to have fun doing them if there's an element of fun in

there i'll do it i don't care if i make money or not if it's fun do you do you do game nights anymore? I haven't done a game night in the while. We have art night. People come over and draw and stuff. I'm not good. But it doesn't matter. It's not about being great. It's about being in the moment. Wow. You know what we're going to do here? No. I mean, there's so many things here. You know, my therapist called about, you know, she says you're always should, shitting on yourself. You're always shitting on yourself, Rosenbaum. Shitting. Like, should I, I don't know. Should I do that? Do you should on yourself? My dad, the one piece of advice that always rings in my head from my dad is always limit your shoulda what

a coulda's. So no, I don't should have all the time. I end up like taking chances a lot. You do it. I like that about you. Thank you. You do strength training to stay strong.

I do. Does strength training really help with the MS? Yeah, I love feeling strong. While I might have mobility issues still a little bit or balance issues, I like seeing muscles on my body. Does that help pain go away, the strength? I don't have pain.

You don't have pain. I don't have pain. You just have like lack of control sometimes of certain things your body does. Yep. So no pain. I mean, yeah. Well, look, you know what? Maybe if somebody else was in my body, they'd think this was painful.

I don't. You baffle me, woman. You baffle me because, I mean, I know you say everybody would be this strong. But you're just, you know what it is? I think you're just so beautiful inside and out. That's so nice. Like I genuinely see how you said thank you. No, no, look at me.

I'm not. Oh, it's so nice. Thank you. But I do. I mean it because I look at you and it's, you are. You're just, you are, I know you say you have anger issues. I know you say you have things that you need to work on. You go EMDR and you're working on yourself. You're trying to be the best you can be. You want to feel the best you can be. And that's the whole game, right? That's the, that's what you have to do. But also to have that attitude. I think that maybe that's your parents or something. I don't know, because you're so. I also have really good friends, you know, for my 30. sixth birthday I came home to find all my friends in my backyard sitting in a circle on like blankets

and they literally went around a circle to tell me how they felt about me Oh my God I'm gonna cry It was the most magical moment

still to the day of my life and all of it basically at the end it was they all just were like we wish you could see yourself the way we see you and that's what I try

I mean I'm still not there trust me but like that's I was even thinking that is you're telling me this. I was like, I wish I could digest what he's saying to me right now and believe it wholeheartedly. But maybe as humans, we, we were not wired to really do that. Some people can and it's amazing. I just, I, I try to, I appreciate what you're saying. I wish I could believe it about myself for sure. Do you love yourself?

Um, you know, it's like I think about like what my legacy would be for my kids. And I think that they would always say like she was always, she always tried her best. And I think that's like all anyone can do. Right. So I guess I love myself for that. I'm hard on myself. I'm hard on myself every day. I mean, I'm, I'm very, I'm good at like, like, I'm very, I'm good at like. like separating. I understand what's my ego and what's not. My ego is very mean to me. And so I've been dealing with that my whole life and I have the awareness now. It still sucks. But that's why I'm like, you know, I'm working on it. I'm figuring trying. But like, you're crying. I love you. I love you. I don't want to make you sad. Well, you made me happy. You know what else really is helping is weed. Weed? Mm-hmm. You smoke weed. Yeah, yeah, like every night. Like, it's my, I didn't, I didn't smoke weed till I was 34.

I'm not a big weed smoker either, but I wasn't. What kind of weed, sativa? Or is it indica? Depends on the time of day. I don't smoke during the day if I'm with my kids. Do you have a certain brand or is there something that? I really like Lowell Farms. Okay.

And they make these mini joints. So it's like just, you know, a little bit for me. They also have these hemp ones that don't get you high, but I get so fucking creative on them. Oh. Okay, hang on a second. Will you write this down after leave? Yes, I'll bring you a pack next time I see you. Well, you know why I am teared up here?

Why? Because I thought, you know, I imagined, I tried to imagine, what you said was so profound. How beautiful is it that your friends sat you, sat with you, around you, telling you all the reasons you should love yourself, the things that you don't see. And I have a feeling like I... I feel like you and I are similar like that. I just like I don't think I'm that great. I really don't. No matter how much I say,

oh, yeah, I'm going to do charity and I'm going to do this. I can sit there and say all these things. And I do. And I really am trying to be better. And I'm trying to be a good person. I'm trying to. For me.

Right. But I don't know if I. I wish everyone could have what I had that night. I think if everyone could have that at least once in their adult life. It was, you know what was cool too As my son sat there and watched it all Did you cry? Oh, I was a fucking mess

Did anybody else cry? Everyone did. Did Cutter cry? Yeah, I think he did. He's not an easy crier, but I think he did. He's not like John. John Cryer? Is John Cryer?

No, just, you know, I always say things like, oh, I'm going to go, I got a Christian bail. I got to get out of here. God, what a John Cryer. Use names or as verbs. That's I like that. That's funny. What was the one that you remember the most?

when someone was sitting there in your backyard that night and telling you, I could see, you know it. What was the one that resonated? My friend Nikki, who's not, like, emotional, like, doesn't cry. She's, like, the party girl. She's, like, the fun girl. Right. And she looked at me, and she's, like,

I know that you opt out of so many things because you think you're going to slow us down. And she's like, but if you could only know that it's, like, an honor to hold you up. Like, it would be an honor to give you a piggyback at Coachella or it would be like, or a stage coach. like you always say like I'm not going to go because I don't want to slow you guys down and it's a truth and she's like it would literally nothing would make me happier than to throw you on my

back and have you experience that with me and that really hit me and I just oh man it was so sweet it was so sweet I have really good friends I might have him edit all these tears that are coming down I don't think I've had tears coming down I don't do that I mean I cry every once in mom, but God. Well, it's not just about me. It's just about, like, really great humans that, like, you know, took their time that night. I don't know.

I think that's beautiful. I think everybody should do that with their friends. By the way, they didn't intend to do that. They thought they were just going to sit around. We thought we were going to do, like, I met my friend Ryan, who's like this, he's just like, God to me. He's, like, changed my life the day I met him. He's kind of like a life coach waking up with Ryan, follow him.

He's the greatest human. He was going to lead, like, a meditation. And he said, he's like, I'm just going to begin by telling Jamie what she means to me. And then somebody else went like, oh, I want to tell her. And then that's what it turned into. So I think what also, it wasn't like a forced situation. Like everybody think of what you're going to say to Jamie. So everything was like just like quick.

Like people would just be like, oh, I want to say this to you. So it was just a very inspired moment. It happened very naturally because I would be horrified if people were like, we're all going to sit around and tell you how. how we love you. I'd be like, oh my God, no, no, no, no, no. I'd rather get you stoned and let's eat a Ralph's cake and, like, just like watch, you know, old school.

Oh, look, I think that's a beautiful thing. So if you're listening, I mean, if you can, I mean, I think that's important. It is. Ryan, what would you do if, you know, on your birthday or something? Everybody just kind of sat around and just say, hey, man, a couple of your close friend and said, I want you to know this about you. I'm just opened up and we're vulnerable about you. I would say you're full of shit.

No, I mean, that'd be really nice. I mean, that sounds like, I don't, I don't know. when I would do that, but... Do you love yourself? Not all the time, no. You like yourself. I like myself, fine. No.

All right, all you could do is work on yourself. All you could do is every day, just take a step in the right direction. All you could do is say... Try your best. I've fucked up yesterday. Today, I'm going to do this. Try your best. You know what?

I didn't like how I talk, apologize. You know, I didn't like how, you know, say something. You know what, I want this. You know, it's not about you right now. It's about them. You know, yesterday Jess was sick. My assistant Jess for two days. and you know sometimes I'm a little helpless but you know there's podcast going on and there's

dogs running around there's people fixing shit and there's like I'm juggling and I managed but all I can think about was like texting here hey how are you feeling that's so good how are you feeling I'm so glad I mean I'm sure part of me was like going hey are you are you better yet and need you to be better but the reality was I really wanted her to feel better I did and if she was gone for the rest of the week I would manage that's all the work you've done putting it back Sure. I mean, sure. I mean, it's just like you're fucking sick. When I'm sick, you're there. I mean, you know, all right, this is called shit talking. This is it. Shit talking with Rosenbaum. This is just some questions. There's not many. You can answer them quickly. You don't have to go deep. I love a rapid fire. This is from all my lovely patrons on Patreon. They're fantastic and they get to ask these questions. Megan, how was it appearing in a lonely island music video? Oh, so fun. It was no, it was like so out of the blue and I had no idea what I was going into. Jizz in my pants. It took me a second. Yeah, I was like, oh, it was you, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I was a checkout girl. Cash or credit. Sophie, do you have a dream Broadway role you would love to play? Well, it was Eponine and Les Miss, but I think I'm too old. So maybe Fantine's the lead. No, she dies like one quarter of the way through. That's the lead. Look at Drew Barrymore and Scream.

And Hathaway did win the Oscar for Fantine. Mm-hmm. What was that song she sang? I dreamed a dream. I cried when she sang that. Oh, it's so emotional. I dream to dream. Rosemomom, you're out, lower your key.

I dream, do, drink, no. Danny, Danny, I see there are now Sopranos conventions happening. Would Jamie Lynn Sigler ever be interested in attending one? It's not that I was like, I'll be interested or not. I was working when they had this first Sopranos con. It just feels so weird. Why? It feels very removed from what the show was, like it being like this like critically

acclaimed like beautiful piece of art like not to say that like comic con and these things are like not honoring like great great work it just doesn't it's for you it doesn't compute i get you i just think that for me it's like it's a chance for people that never meet you but totally just have a blast and uh hear how much they love you i get also just very uncomfortable like with that it's nothing against like me being like I don't give a shit about the fans no no that's not at all and that's I respect that 100% some people just not yeah I don't need to be paid to be like like a spectacle and like wave like that feels awkward to me sure I don't mind it Mary and Lisa ask at this point in her life is MS a major part of how she sees herself or is it just a piece of the puzzle that is jamie

lynn sigler it's uh is it's definitely a major part and that's what I'm trying to figure out how to have it not be it's impossible to not have it not be right now, but I'm trying to have it not be. Raj, my wife and I dealt with some negativity from friends and family after we decided to stop breastfeeding our son because of health issues she was dealing with. I remember you being more vocal about having to stop breastfeeding because of the need to get back on medication for MS. What is your advice for current and potential moms dealing with the stigma of feeling as if you're supposed to breastfeed your child as long as possible?

Look to Amy Schumer. She just like put something out about how she was like, you know what, this is not feeling right for me and it's not right for my family so I'm going to stop and like God, oh, she's just so fucking awesome because like this is her first rodeo and she had the wherewithal and like the self love and awareness to be like, no, not for me and my baby's all right and I'm not going to feel bad about it. Like you all this like guilt is has nothing to do with all the other chatter. It's all on you. And so if you're a fed baby is a good baby. So you know, You've got two things for me. You're going to give me your dope.

What is it? Your dope. The loles. Yeah. I need to know what dope you're using. And I'm going to come on your podcast. Great. And the podcast is called again?

Pajama pants. Pajama pants is the one that's 21 episodes in. And you're having a blast doing it at Dr. Drew on Bob Saggett. Bob Saggett was on Mama said. So you can listen to both her podcast. Look, if you love her like I do, you're going to love her after this interview. Listen to her stuff, man. subscribe and uh you know support man these people these folks here who subscribe they're so loyal

they really are they're just awesome that's why do you call them things are they like uh well you know i usually i try to respond as much as i can it's hard but um you know the the patreon thing that that i'm a part of now it's easier to just kind of like go hey you know and and i can send extra you have a name for them like your fans oh like Rosen bombs yeah the bomb squad the bomb squad that's cool the bomb squad that's cool the bomb squad I just came up with that. It's good. Do you guys like the bomb squad?

Put it on a hat. Roses, uh, Rosens Roses that wrote Rosen's roses. Stop trying to top it. You did it already. The bomb squad. I can't think of anything better. Can you? There's nothing better.

You were a freaking delight. I adore you. Thank you for them to be inside of you. Anytime. I hope you guys love that as much as I did. Inspirational. Yes, that was a tear. Could you see the tear down my eye?

Let me know. Uh, real quick shout out to my top tier patrons here we go alison andrew angelina berry bob bob vortex chris d on emily emily jason jason jason jason you're both important jerry jill trisha eukiko kevin christin loren lee oh hi lee she's upset because i didn't mess her name up and call her lea mark with a c michael nancy i love my nancy and nico and raj i just saw a talk Torage. Robert, Samantha, Sarah, Scott, Sean, Tiana. You guys, I hope you're enjoying the podcast. I am. You see that the patrons on there, they get certain tiers. You get to ask questions at

the end for every guest. So, uh, join Patreon. Join me. Uh, join the revolution. Uh, I'm really excited and make sure, uh, was it a burning impression. Huh? Is that what that was? Join the revolution. I don't even. Does that sound like him? I don't know. I thought that's what you're trying to do. I don't even. Is that what he says? maybe look uh whatever whatever what else that's pretty much it uh you know thanks for listening to the stage at last week uh Miami May 9th remember smallville nights and signing autographs and also in st louis at the wizard world June 5th of smallville nights as well get your tickets while they last um all that stuff I want to say thank you Ryan again because you know I know how hard

this video thing is because we're not if you guys notice we're not just doing the I'm not saying it's cheap but it's fucking cheap it's easy to put the top and the two one screen and it just run it it's easy Ryan could do that in an hour correct yeah doesn't edit it whatever he edits this so we're going back and forth it's an interview it's like you're getting inside I think it's great uh I hope we continue to do it he's going to start working on ways to make it faster but uh you're getting great at it so yeah I hope you continue I mean it's a skill I had and I said I could do it I was not lying well you're not resenting me right no not at all you tell me when you're starting to resent me yeah i mean i you know i i just want you know i always want people to be happy i think

it's a problem in mine but it's also a good thing like i you know i want ryan to go i love working on the show i know that if michael if this blows up or if michael gets something else he's going to bring me along or consider me right i'd like to be considered sure i always would consider you i honestly i am for your consideration i absolutely i adore you and um the music you're listening to underneath is just Ryan and I playing a little guitar. So we haven't even put this music under it yet. But when you're listening to it, see, now it's playing, but we haven't even done it. So we have no idea what we're going to do, but we're going to do it. Thank you guys so much. Make sure you subscribe, please to YouTube. Hit the notification, think subscribe, spread the

word. Let's get those numbers up. Help me get the numbers up on audio and video and blow this sucker up. Working on another live podcast potentially in Phoenix. Tell me who else who's out there in Phoenix. Write in a hello at inside of you podcast.com, I believe, is for fan letters. Follow me on the handles, the at Inside of You podcast on Twitter and then at Inside You pod on Instagram, all that stuff. Thanks so much for all your encouragement, your letters, your, am I, you hear that? What?

I don't want to be that guy where you're, that's the worst sound ever. In fact, people are listening. That's it. I'm done. fucking off um we've got so many great guests ahead of you ahead now like believe me the stories get better and better um we i got someone that's coming up that it was a really tough grab and a really tough episode for you to to edit because it's an hour and a half hour 35 yeah but it is gold it is gold and it's a big actor who everyone loves if you haven't seen the show i'm not going

to tell you anymore i can't talk about it anymore i'm not going to do it but if you're in Patreon you'll learn. All right, guys, thank you from Ryan, Tayas, and myself. Thank you for us, allowing us to both be inside of you. And I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful rest of your week and spread the word for the podcast and be healthy, be grateful, be happy, and do your best, man. It's all I'm trying to do. It's called life.

It's not called winning. I'm going to come up with the worst quotes after every episode from now on. So that's it. I'm not going to think. It's not called a life for a reason. Yeah, that's why it's not called winning, folks. Fucking worst quote ever. All right, I'm ending with that.

And you got to carve them into some wood and just hang them above your sink. Could you? Yeah, somebody out there's going to go, oh, I remember a shitty quote from the week before. And now I'm right. So let's think of one. Hey, remember, guys, like, if you think about it, if you just say something without thinking, that's what the quote has to be. You know, guys?

They never said life was easy. They just said it was long, if you're lucky. How's that? It's good. It's like a mashup of several different adages. It's too long. I'm going to fuck off now. Thank you for allowing me to be inside of you.

Good day. Hope you liked. You'll like what you are here. Perfect. That's enough. Football season is here. Oh, man. has the podcast to enhance your football experience from the pros one of the most interesting quarterback

room to college michigan is set at eight and a half wins to fantasy if you feel that way why didn't you trade them become a better fan and listen to the football podcasts from believe just search believe that's b l-e-a-v podcast follow and listen on your favorite platform