Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - JAY FERGUSON: Ditching Ego For Family, Forced to Recognize Mortality & the Mad Men Stimulus Package

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

Jay Ferguson (Mad Men, The Conners) joins us this week to share the defining moment in his life where he chose to put his ego to the side for the sake of his family and career… and how that decision ultimately lead to him landing roles on hits like Mad Men and The Conners. Jay opens up about the unexpected emotions and compounded feelings that come from the loss of a close loved one as he shares stories about his late great mother. We also get into nerves working alongside Bert Reynolds, getting an inch and taking a mile with Leonardo DiCaprio, and an all-time story about our first meeting during a sitcom. Thank you to our sponsors: ⚕️ Lumen: https://lumen.me/inside 🛍️ Shopify: https://shopify.com/inside ❤️ Betterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/inside __________________________________________________ 💖 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/insideofyou 👕 Inside Of You Merch: https://store.insideofyoupodcast.com/ __________________________________________________ Watch or listen to more episodes! 📺 https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/show __________________________________________________ Follow us online! 📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🤣 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@insideofyou_podcast 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/insideofyoupod 🌐 Website: https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Learn more at scotiabank.com slash banking packages. Conditions apply. Scotia Bank, you're richer than you think. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. What a weekend, man. I had a weekend, bro. You sure did, man. I played in this event, this charity event at Crypto, Staples Center.

It was all the NHL greats, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn was there. My coach was Al Michaels and Danny DeVito. And it was amazing. It was for fire relief and to help with the fires and the people who need people that were displaced. And it was just a great cause. And a lot of people came out. It was packed. And it was pretty awesome.

I wasn't expecting to play well because I haven't played really a lot lately. And I scored the first two goals of the game. They were pretty good. Yeah, from Messier and Theo Flurry. And I felt... You guys were in sync. It was so cool, man. I know when Snoop was like, that's the fastest celebrity goal I've seen or something like

that. I was like, oh, dude, it was a treat. It was on TV. So, of course, you got to step up when the TV, when the cameras are rolling. ESPN2. Yeah. So it was awesome, man. It was awesome.

My body feels like a train hit me. But other than that. It was great. You have a good weekend, man? I did have a good weekend, yes. Anything special? Anything special? No.

Got some new shoes, I see. Oh, yeah, these were Valentine's Day gift. They're Lulu Lemon. Ooh, Ryan's got some Lulu's on this moment. They are kind of like pillows, but yeah, they wear a gift. Really? They're comfortable. Yeah.

I mean, it is Lulu. Yeah. And you also have a Helix mattress. I do. I cannot wait to try my new Helix mattress. This is not an ad. This is not an ad, but, you know, you did. They sent you a Helix mattress.

I was due for a mattress. You said, do you want a new mattress? Because I have one. So I was like, hey, I want to be able to talk to someone who could understand what I go through and how much I like it. So I can't wait to hear it. If you just stay on this track, man, you just get gifts of comfort as well as the team of today. Yeah, look at you, man. You're always getting gifts and Ryan's living the life.

Anyway, just a few things. If you want to go to my Instagram at the Michael Rosenbaum. and the link tree i'm on cameo it's got all the cons that i'm doing chicago which is another smallville con cleveland's coming up ontario california cincinnati big cruise go to cruiseville com if you want to come on the cruise with me and tom excursions are available i's already sold out one of my excursions wow yeah but you can go in a glass bottom boat with me i think there's karaoke night there's a bunch of stuff to do with me and um the rest of the guys so get your tickets for the smallville cruise it is it's go time um i'm hoping to get ryan on there i don't know

if they're going to be able to do it but because those you know it's not like it's a hundred dollar no cruises aren't cheap they are not although this is reasonable i think so and it's a it's a royal caribbean i believe it's a good cruise it's a good one yeah yeah it's a it's a good ship i've never been on a cruise so come enjoy it with me uh and if you want to join patron if you want to support this podcast i know a lot of people are like what's patron Patron is really a place where it's a community of people who like the show and a lot of friendships have been born from Patreon. And more importantly, and most importantly, well, that is the most important. But it helps the show.

So people that give back to the show, that's why we're able to, you know, pay Ryan and Bryce and Jason and everybody. And I just really appreciate you. If you want to join Patreon and support the podcast, we could use your help. Patreon anything helps Patreon P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash inside of you inside Inside inside I think it's inside inside inside Patreon.com slash inside of you of you of you so join and I'll send you a message of course after but there's a lot of perks the different tiers and I send boxes to people and all that stuff and gifts and I just had a Zoom with all the patrons and it was wonderful and

there's so many people on there and it was just like overwhelming but really fun and some people were working out while I was talking to monsoon some people were you know playing with their baby it was just like a gathering it was a nice gathering um what else rosy's puppy fresh breath my pet product is on amazon rosy's puppy fresh breath uh just a cat full of uh in your dog's water bowl in the morning and it's odorless tasteless and your dog's breath's going to be great uh i do i do it every morning for my dogs so uh rosy's puppy fresh breath And the fart book's out. It's still out.

If you want to get it, the talented farter. My book. Check it out on Amazon. Anything else, Ryan? Anything we're missing? The album? Oh, we're almost done with the album. I sent all the vocals except for one song to Blake.

Blake is a great producer, Blake Lewis. He's producing the album. He was runner up for American Idol one year. Good friend of mine. And, yeah, it's pretty good. Maybe I could play something really quick. It's a long intro, but... Any stage it's?

You can always fast forward if you hate it. Yeah, we did a stage it and it was wonderful. People came. Nice. So that was good. What do we want to hear? Oh, this is cool one. It hasn't been mixed yet.

No harmonies, nothing. So it's very bare bones. It was hot as hill. I remember it where. just that easy to see middle of july don't ask me why i was lost as a man can be uh yeah so it's it's coming along great and you know it's the people who support the band sunspin if you want to go sunspin.com um and support the band and there's tons of merch there's great merch great tumblers and the inside of you online store now has smallville pilots the pilot episode signed by me lexmus scripts ship keys

funkos, um, action figures, T-shirts, tumblers, new tumblers. So go to the inside of you online store. Tons of great stuff there.

And lunchbox signed by me and Tom. So there you go. Big intro. But let's get into this. So this guy, actor, a friend of my, Jay Ferguson,

he has, I've been friends with him. I've known him for over 20 years. And we did a pile it together and we talk about how we met. And it's a really, funny story how they fired this one guy from a pilot and he was really upset and then he met me and you're going to figure out how we kind of became friends and um i love him and we did this podcast a

while ago but i had so many in the can that i had to air certain ones first but um it's not for a lack of love or this guy's a uh terrific actor um and uh you're going to really enjoy this and we talk about everything he's an open book man he's just he's always been that the only thing i don't like jays he's a dallas cowboy fan that's it i'm a giants fan so uh we've given each other a lot of shit but uh i do love him so jay thanks for coming on the podcast and let's get inside of jay ferguson it's my point of you you're listening to inside of you with michael rosenbaum Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. Well, we got a special guest here.

I mean, dude, I've known you since probably 98, 99. We met. Do you remember where we, of course you know where we met? Well, I do. And I was going to see if you would indulge me and allow me to tell that story from my point of view. Oh, great. Is it going to just crush me? I don't know.

No, maybe. I think it might make you feel good. These were the 90s, folks. Yeah, these are the 90s. Okay, how do we meet here? So, well, first of all, before I get into that, I do want to just give you throw some flowers your way. When I first heard that you were starting this endeavor, I thought to myself, I can't wait to watch this. It's going to be a disaster. Like everything else I do.

Because I knew, like myself, that you. enjoy the sound of your own voice. And I thought, well, you know, he's going to have to listen a lot. I know. I've never really seen him do that a lot unless he's acting, which of course he's really good at listening in that regard. And so I did say I'm throwing flowers, right? Not yet. So anyway, I will tell you, man, I have just enjoyed thoroughly watching the progression, the evolution. You've been great. at it since day one. Of course, you were born to do this sort of thing. And I kid about the other stuff. But I'll tell you, really, this is the big flowers, is I was reading an article about some

famous actor, really like a prestigious older actor in some prestigious magazine newspaper, whatever it was. And in the middle of the article, the author of the article says something like, paraphrasing, but, uh, and recently on Michael Rosenbaum's inside of you podcast, so and so said this. And they used your interview as a reference for this prestigious actor in their prestigious magazine. Really? Yes. And I, I, I, I was just so happy. So happy to see that. Thank you. And, and, and, you know, I am a huge, uh, stern fan as I believe you are as well. And one of the things I love about Howard that I believe most of his listeners love as well from an interviewer's standpoint, um, his ability to not just have his, his questions on his sheet, but to also listen and then

riff on new questions based on what he's listening to. That's, and that is what I love about him. And you definitely have that quality. Well, if only, and I really am happy. Well, that means the world. It means the world to me because you're not Mr. Compliments. I've known you for a long time. And it's like, you know, even when we work together. Well, I enjoy giving them if they're deserved. I do. No, I love that. I appreciate it.

Undeserved. No, of course not. Well, I compliment you, man. I, you know, I watch your work. I want, the thing about you is I notice what a hard. And by the way, I don't want to get away from telling our introduction story because I will. Oh, yeah. No, we'll get into it.

But now throw it my way. Yeah. It's not even, well, it's, it's more like, you know, you're this character actor, but you're more than that, but you've worked so hard. I've been, I've talked to you. during these 25, 30 years, and, you know, what are you up to? Oh, I'm, I'm auditioning for this. I'm testing for this. I'm doing this. You just always have such a positive attitude, at least as far as I know, and you work so hard. And it's like there's, you know, there's a lot of

good actors out there, but you're, you're a really good actor. Thank you. And, you know, there comes a time when you sort of say, you know, fuck it. You know, I'm not, I should be, I should be acting with these guys. I should be working with these guys. I should be working with these guys and you know it's happened to me it's you know a lot and i know i belong but then you have to not resign the fact but more like be grateful and sort of look at the outside look at the inside from you know your point of view and go hey look this is what i've been doing this is what i've done i'm proud of this um you know what it's it's a tough business and you are someone that knows that because you've been through it canceled shows did a pilot we've done

pilots canceled or goes for a season canceled something that and then things started to happen i mean evening shade obviously earlier when you were young but as an adult you started you know that madman was a huge thing and we'll get into that and the conners is a huge thing um so it's like the waiting game it's like when do you um is there a moment where you decide try to think of something else I'm tired of the rejection I'm tired of this I'm tired of busting my ass or is it just something that You love so much that you're like, I'm going to keep doing this because this is all I fucking know. Well, having having the prospect of a family that that you are now accountable for will do wonders for one that is trying to find inspiration and motivation. And also, I will admit, letting go of any ego, ego, so-called integrity, you know, things that were keeping me from working for a very long time when I probably should have been, just because I thought I was too good for whatever it was, you know, just nonsense.

Yeah. And the day that I let all of that go was the day it all started clicking. Really? You think. And I'm not even talking about Mad Men because that certainly was the defining, you know, change in my career moment or whatever you want to call it. But even leading up to that, much smaller things, like just one-off episodic guest stars, you know, just starting to do lots of those types of things.

and all the while, you know, as you know, the more you keep the machine oiled, the more ready it is to go, you know, the next opportunity comes around. And so, but I was also, I had just also broadened all my opportunities because I was, I just said, I'll do anything. I don't care. I've got to, I've got to supplement this family. I told, I promised my wife I would do that when we got married. And I was met with the, the, um, decision to throw it in or not. And that was, that was, uh, you thought about it. Oh, I had to, but just because I was, I was running. I was broke. When was this? This was right before our first son was born. You were broke. broke. And I spent the last amount of money that we had, uh, I don't know if you remember my mom used to live

across the street. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, in her, house had just been broken into and jenny was you know seven months pregnant and we're about to have this baby we've got this lovely yard and stuff in the front you know there's always dog shit in it and people knocking on the door at random because it was just open to the street right but after my mom's house got broken into because she she did not have any kind of barrier either i thought well i'm not even going to take a chance on this i want my wife to be able to walk out in our in her front you with our child and be able to sit down on a blanket and not worry about anything, you know. So I spent the last amount of money we had putting up a gate and I know that security fence

and the whole, the whole deal. And yeah, I think we, we were in the hundreds. What do you mean in the hundreds? I think we were, we were under $1,000 total in our checking account. And I, that's terrifying. Yeah. Well, and that's when I, and that's when I, I was faced with that decision because I knew I could always go back to Texas. My dad had a pretty successful real estate business going on there. You know, wasn't ideal. Wasn't what I wanted to do. Fuck yeah. I had to. How close were you? Because like you said, this is the only thing I've ever known. I know how to do nothing. No, no skill, trade, craft, nothing. I mean, yes, I would consider myself a pretty decent gardener. So I suppose. And honestly, I did consider that as an option at one point.

I did consider we've always loved wine country. You know, that was an option at one point to, you know, downsize, move to wine country. And I would just work my way up at a vineyard or something, you know. How close were you? When you say you had $1,000 in your checking count, how close were you to calling your dad or taking another endeavor? I had probably already called my dad, you know, just to verify that if I did decide to go that direction, he would, you know, help kind of train me. Was he worried about you? Well, I'm sure he was. My dad doesn't really wears emotions on his sleeve.

Nor is mine, yeah. I would not have known. I don't think he ever expressed anything like that to me. Did you feel a certain way, like stress-wise? Did you feel anxiety, depression, all these things were you aware of, like, how you were feeling? I don't think I felt depression at that point, but I've certainly felt it at various other times. I felt very anxious, of course, yeah. I mean, you know, thinking about uprooting from this place and going back to Texas, even though I love Texas, was not, you know, what I had envisioned.

Because you're a positive guy. You're a go-getter. But that's the other thing is. And I was, I was keeping positive about it, which is what ended up saving my ass. Because I kept up until the last possible day that we could survive here, I was still going out on auditions. And everything. I went out on one on this, on this audition for this show that was direct to 13 episodes, no pilot. Wow.

Which you know is unheard of. That'd be good, right? And it was a great get, great show, great cast, great story, wrong network, wrong time. One of those things, right? But still a fun experience. The biggest thing it did, though, was it saved me. Inside of You is brought to you by Quince. I love Quince, Ryan.

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The biggest thing it did, though, was it saved me. And it saved my family. Your house. It saved my house. It saved us. It saved my career. Your dreams, maybe. Because I was able to continue going. Now, of course, that was short-lived, as most of them, like you said, are. And then another period of A lull, a lull. But a lot of these lulls were self-imposed or self-created. You know, I was not doing myself any favors at that time physically. I had let myself go quite a bit. Beard, big beard, you tend to draw a big beard.

Wasn't the beard yet? That wasn't until much later. And I just actually shaved it off. Yeah, I noticed a surprise. It was nice and clean cut. But no, no, this was not big beard. just big body you are how much heavier were you I was at my heaviest back then I think I was around 225 did anybody say anything to you oh yes who anybody that cared well I mean you know my

my my my managers my agents what would they say what was well I was they they of course didn't want to say anything but I was the one asking hey how come all of a sudden now I'm only going up for like the the friend of the main guy that used to to be good looking in high school, but now has let himself go. That character. Right. And they said, well, you let yourself go. And that made me angry. And angry at myself. At yourself. You know, and so I made some changes. Now, you know, the, at the time, coming off of that, that show that saved me, I went directly into a movie that I was very excited about. But in the I was playing a character that was supposed to be big.

And I was already big at the time, but then the movie got pushed. And then it got pushed again. You got bigger. And I just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger until the time it finally shot. I mean, you should, you should look up and see some stills of me from this thing. What's it called? It's called The Killer Inside Me. The Killer Inside Me.

Yeah. It is shocking. How much did you weigh? At that time, that's when I was 225. 225. And how much are you now? Probably about 203, 205. I've been trying to work my way down.

I allowed myself to get a little too comfortable again. So I had to make some changes. So after this movie is made, what gets you to start losing weight? That conversation with the manager that said, you know. It's not a comfortable conversation with a friend or anything to say, hey, look. Yeah. But, I mean, it was a positive conversation because it was like, look, you get yourself back into shape. Then you're, you know, you're back in that.

And did you notice things changing once you started losing weight? Oh, for sure. Yeah. Like it was a different game. No question. No question. Yeah. So you were now up for roles that you wanted.

Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, there's, I mean, there's a, there's a ton of stories that we can go over about that time. But, but yes, I was, I worked really, really hard, you know, I was going to talk about this when I talk about the, our introduction story. which is maybe better suited for the end of this. But I was going to touch on and will and will about how, you know, 80% of the things we do, or at least that I've done, have not necessarily been successful by conventional definition, right?

Right. And maybe it's even higher than 80%. Yeah. The majority, the majority have not worked out by what is deemed successful, okay? Right. But out of every one of those things, and a lot of them, some of them, I was having an awful time on. See, that's the worst. If you have a good time on something, it changes your perspective.

Yeah. But when it's miserable, you're not getting much money, it's not good. Oh, I had one. I won't go into specifics, but, and maybe if I had any balls, I would, but I will, I will stay respectful but I will tell you I had one experience that is the closest I've ever come to just saying fuck it and walking off a set and being like I don't really was it was it was it was the fire was it was some of the other actors it was no not the actors were great it was uh it was the people in charge and that that was a that was a and it was people in charge well I don't

want to get too specific but yeah but it was it was a situation that I had been excited about when I found out it was going to happen and it disappointed incredibly. But my bigger takeaway here, what I was getting at is, even on those gigs, I have found I might have to dig a little harder, I might have to think a little deeper about it, but I always find something positive that I got out of every experience, whether it's been successful, whether I was miserable while I was doing it, or not. Every experience I've had, I've been able to look at and say, okay, that, that's why I was supposed to be a part of that experience. It wasn't what I had preconceived. Even my little movie that was, you know,

wasn't a huge success, but like you had a blast. Oh, of course. So many people had so much fun in that movie and it was so difficult, but it was like, and you were really good. People always talk about how good you were. We had a blast. It had a blast. And I love that you came and helped a friend because a lot of people don't do that. But, um, but when you're talking about, well, who would pass up an opportunity. Do you go to the metropolis that is Evansville, Indiana? Yeah. But what is it about an atmosphere when the actors are all getting along, but the producers are bringing you so down that you want to walk up set? Is it how they treated you? Is it how they talk to you? Is it? I've got a pretty thick skin, so I wasn't taking it

personally for me. But I, so I have three steadfast rules. You show up on time. You know your lines and you're respectful to the crew. And, you know, easy. Everybody has their bad days where they forget some lines. You get a pass on that. Everybody has a day where you're a little late. You might get a pass on that. I never give a pass for being rude to the crew because that just shows me. Never. That shows me who you are right away. I don't need to see anymore. I know who you are no matter what else you do. I see the person you are. do from here for it doesn't matter i think that is absolutely true in life if you watch somebody treat someone with with no respect or that's right or belittling or condescending that pisses me off like

nothing else well yeah yeah and being rude like you know wait i mean we're going down a rabbit but you know getting rude to wait staff at restaurants like all that shit like just being rude to people did you say something to the producer did you ever lose your cool uh uh uh i did with i did with the AD and then I demanded certain things change before the before everybody comes back out on the set. The conditions were very brutal. We were shooting in a in a in a situation. It was very uncomfortable weather wise. And yeah, just a large amount of disrespect to not just the actors, but the entire crew, all of the hundreds of people that were involved. Um, yeah. So anyway, I don't want to, you know, we don't need to get too deep into that. But I like to, I think people like to, to hear this and know what goes on sometimes on sets. Yeah. Which is very unfortunate. It's not just all movie star magic and oh my God, look at this. This is the life. Now, I will tell you, um, I will not hesitate to, uh, call, call somebody out if, if they are directly rude, like in your face rude. Right. The circumstance I was talking about before was

more kind of just the actions were rude it wasn't necessarily mean words that were said right if mean words are said that's something i can't allow to pass without saying saying something right right um and i've done that several times well let me let me ask you this so let's go back to i mean did you always want to be an actor no you didn't what when what was it well my mom had moved out here to uh to be in the business from Texas and what did she do in the business she was an actor she was an actor and she made you know pretty good living doing you know jobs time to time and got a couple recurring gigs on a couple shows and did a couple big national commercials and you know of course dad was helping out too but the the you know she did good for herself and i i i didn't know what the fuck i wanted to do

i wanted to go back to texas that's what i wanted to do i didn't want to be here closer to your cowboys i was angry man i was an angry kid and were you difficult as a kid I'm sure I was yeah I don't think I was probably I mean I wasn't in and out of juvie or anything like that but but you but I was resentful of my mom for bringing to from for taking me away from my dad in Texas yeah right and I held on to that resentment for quite a while yeah and what was it about how did you get into acting I I think at the time I was I was at a junior high at Quimma Junior I shout out still love that school still love my teachers from that school my friends from that school still see my friends from that school still text with my favorite

teacher from that school what's your favorite mr. Baker Lee Baker why was miss Baker your favorite teacher because she treated us like we were not children she doesn't she didn't she didn't she didn't um patronize a lot she was very direct she raised her voice if she needed to she cursed if she needed to um she was a good role model she was the best teacher i ever had you wanted to be better for her didn't you of course isn't that something if if you're a good teacher and you listen you care yeah the kids respond by trying harder and listen there's no question and all the other teachers hated her because the kids loved her the most of course they were all struggling to get that same kind of bond but couldn't right but anyway um that that that

school was big for me for many reasons but it was a performing arts school and And I had gone there primarily with notions of getting in the drama program. Just because I'd been around it, mom, you know, all of her friends were involved in the business. Who were some of her friends? Anybody one way or the other? Any big actors? Big actors? Or anybody?

I don't really think so. I mean, some of her best friends were Harry Thomason and Linda Bloodwood Thomason, who created even shade and designing women. Right. Okay. You know, so they were around a lot growing up. And, and then, uh, uh, uh, oh, geez, uh, Daryl Ann is her name, Jardino is her, is her last name now. But I can't remember what his real name was, but his stage name was Slim Pickens and that was her dad. And so we would go over to their house all the time.

And she had this giant like 10 by 10 foot, uh, painting of Slim Pickens over the fireplace and all of his cowboy memorabilia, you know. know him riding the bomb down and you know okay so you're in the school so i'm in the school go out for the drama program but i noticed that that you know the the the it had a bunch of theater related after school programs right the drama production was one there was stage production where you learn how to be a crew member and build sets and lights and do all that stuff there was a dance production you know now these are all kids that are that are that really have a natural god-given talent right and want to be there yeah and and then there's me and i was i was in the moment thinking oh yeah sure i want to i guess just you know go and do some scenes and drama production go to

the competitions and all of that but but all of those productions all of those separate little groups would all have their rehearsals, so to speak, after school. So the entire school would leave. Maybe the, in the athletics were still going on, but for the most part, it was kind of a ghost town. And so I would always look across the campus over to where the dance productions area was, which is where this teacher that would go on to become my favorite teacher that had not become my favorite teacher at that point, because I was still terrified of her. But I would see her and her group over across the campus. And all of the hot girls were in dance. I hear the story all the time. It's always the, the actor sees the young hot girls. And they're like, oh, my God,

I got to get into that group. And that's, that's, it was as simple as that. And so I used to fancy myself a break dancer, which I wasn't. Me too. But, but I, but I felt like I could at least keep a beat, you know, I was into hip hop. I was into rap. I was into all that stuff. Right. And, uh, and, and So I thought, well, you know, next semester, I'll go and try out, because you had to audition for all of these little things, you know. And I'll go and audition for dance production and see what happens. And sure enough, I work my way. I somehow fooled Ms. Baker into allowing me to come into that dance production. Because I'm telling you, they were like, you know, people that belonged at professional ballet companies in this dance production. It was ridiculous. And then a lot of really

talented, you know, like hip hop, like dancing. But she saw something in you. Maybe and maybe she just was being nice to me or whatever. She, but she's the best. Anyway, that changed everything for me because then it switched from being about the girls to really becoming about really enjoying dancing and performing. And that... Did she have to wear tights? No. Okay. No, that level of, or that medium of performing was more interesting to me than... the medium of acting. Wow. And so I still, I sensed that I enjoyed performing, you know, but I, I didn't know where that put me. What, what, what was I, was I going to be, you know, a mime? Was I going to, you know, whatever. Right. I, I, I didn't know. And so, because I'd done the

acting, and I, we'd gone to a Shakespeare competition, I think, and my, my duo won second place. Wow. And, you know, so you were thriving. I had done well, but I really wanted to be where the hot girls were. So that's why I went over there. But then I started falling in love with dance. So by the time my end run came at the end of junior high, which back then was ninth grade. Now that's, you know, freshman year in high school.

But back then, it was your last year in junior high. I had started auditioning because after I had done the drama production, my mom said, well, if you're into this, then she kind of like kind of ran with it a little. bit she's well we're going to have to get you an agent and i got now i think some agent like it just approached me and that's how we got an agent but i started going on auditions but never got one how many oh god i mean for years a couple years couple years nothing easy probably started when i was 12 or 13 so at least a year or two right and it was always an annoyance it was like i had to go after school to like culver city or something like that drive in the car for hours you know yeah and then

i wasn't into it and so that my mom would get pissed at me that she was having to drive me all over town and i wasn't even putting in the effort yes yeah yeah yeah and so and naturally i mean i understand that you know i would be pissed too right i'd rather be home yeah so uh and and she would say you know listen if this is not what you want to do just tell me so we can stop this craziness but I felt like I'd be letting her down so much if I admitted that, even though that's what I was feeling. Right. I never said that.

And so it came to the end of the ninth grade and I had to decide where I was going to go to high school. And a lot of our friends from the dance production were going to be going to this. Can't remember. It's another performing arts high school that's that has a very good dance program, at least at the time. And so I was going to try and go to that high school for high school. And around that same time, I had an audition. for something that actually for the first time in years or maybe ever was something I was actually really excited about

because it was based on a movie that I loved and I was the outsiders and it was to play pony boy I'm like well this is ridiculous my cousins and I have all been acting like where these characters for the last five Christmases we go out in the backyard and you know somebody's pony somebody's soda and we all kill Johnny we run around and reenact scenes of the movie you know with the neighborhood kids out there

in Long Beach, Mississippi. And so I knew it well and thought, well, this would be a lot of fun to do, even though I'm not really into this anymore. And I want to kind of do this other thing. If I got this, I'd be excited. But if I don't get this, then I'm going this direction. And you got it. And that just everything else took off.

Yeah, well, because then you're not in a school. You're on the set. You're, I have a tutor. You know, I'd never had any of that. I had been regular schools for my whole life. So this was kind of a treat. You just get to do you. You don't have to deal with school.

You did do parts. I think it was a treat. But then there was also something that I was robbed of, you know. But I'm not complaining. I mean, I'd do it the same way if I could over again. Did you, since your mom knew people on Evening Shade, is that how you kind of got a foot in? Oh, I'm a Nepo baby, baby. Yep.

A little nepotism there. I'm a Nepot baby. But you had to audition. I went in and had a meet. Well, okay. So I had just come off of that outsider show. And it had been massively popular with everybody that didn't matter. And so...

Aren't you in like teen beat and shit? So it was popular for all of those reasons, right? Yeah. But it wasn't popular for the right reasons. Right. The reasons that would have kept us on the air. Right. So it was very short-lived.

Right. But it had a massive like publicity response in the interim or in the, in between that time. So coming off of that, I had a little. little bit of a little bit of heat coming off of that and that got me into a meeting Linda did not would not have Linda and Harry would not have felt right just giving it to me no they would they were they would were going to make me audition so they had me come in and meet Bert which was were you nervous incredibly uncomfortable oh yeah I mean of course it's fucking Bert Reynolds and and I definitely knew who Bert Reynolds was I was I mean from our

generation smoking the bandit baby yeah of course and and and been laughing at his movies for for decades at that point well a decade and a half yeah and and so i came out of the wound laughing at uh womb laughing and so anyway uh i read i think we read a scene or two at bert and i did and afterwards he's like all right kid let's do it and that was it it was crazy what was it like working with him because i i have this feeling that he can be funny and could be all these things but it just feels like he could be a lot and also what you catch him on a different day his mood changes yeah like i could see that he was he was he always fun did you see him kind of get

pissed off and oh oh i saw many different colors for sure yeah i saw all the colors i believe was he scary when he was dark fuck yeah man like like how like what would he do well i think like anybody is scary when they're really mad, you know, you know, the contortion of the face and the bawling of the fists. Like you don't want to, no one wanted to be around. Oh, no, no, no, of course not. And then he could switch and be hilarious and funny and cool. Yeah. Uh-huh. But you liked him? I love them. You did. He was good to you. He was great to me. He was great to me. He's great to my mom. He was great to our family. Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and T-shirts.

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more like a two three off that's what i'd been told two or three episodes done yeah yeah and it lasted How many years? Half, the latter half of the run was on for seven. I think I was on for three, the latter three and a half. So when did you find out that they want to bring you back? Or was it just kind of like, we want them back again, want him back again, want them? And they did that before they made a contract with you. So going into that first year, that was my first gig back after getting back in shape, you know, so that that had yielded that. But when I showed up for the audition, I was suddenly still kind of mad because I showed up and it was a hall full of like offensive linemen and me oh boy and I thought oh man they don't know that I'm I got back in shape that means I'm not going to be right for this

part because they thought I was still big and I almost left the audition I really did I almost left and plus I was waiting forever too I was I'm not right for it and I'm waiting an hour I'm out I'm out out of here. But thank God I stayed. So the first year was just, yeah, I had never seen the show. I didn't really know much about it. You knew it was a big success. Oh, of course. I knew it was a juggernaut. Yeah. But I had never seen it. So I didn't really know the inner workings or the dynamics between any of the characters or anything. So I was told it was going to be about two or three episodes. And I just assumed once I read the first episode, my character was such a douchebag that there's just, it wasn't possible that he would stick around that long.

Right. Yeah. He was bound to say something that was going to get himself fired. Right. And it was just a matter of time. And it looked like the writing was on the wall. Right. Of course, with that show, what I didn't know at the time was if there was writing on the wall about something, that meant it probably wasn't going to happen because they would like to go the other way. Yeah. But so when the season ended, I think the penultimate episode of that season I was in and it was my last episode for that season. And in that episode, other, there was kind of a house cleaning happening at the ad agency

on the show. And people were being fired. And I kept, and I first read the script. I kept going through it, you know, because back in those days, and especially for me, still just a guest star, I wouldn't see what was in the script until I showed up for the table read. That's when you got to see the script. And then you had to leave it there. And you would only get your scenes to work on. And so I showed up to that last table read. And I'm thinking, well, this has got to be the episode. I get the booze. And then I start thumbing through it and I see, uh-oh, people are getting fired. Okay, where is it going to be? Where is it? And then I get to the end. and I'm still there. I thought, well, that's odd. That's cool. I said, well, maybe that means they'll bring me back for one or two next year, you know.

But I had no idea. They didn't give me any indication to believe that, other than the fact that they didn't fire me. But you became a regular. Eventually, yeah. What season? Well, that next season. That next season. So were you surprised when you got the call from your agent saying, hey, they want to make a deal for your, did you flip out?

Yeah, yeah. But I was already flipping out. I was already flipping out because it had, when I got it and be, you know, my, ignorance to its, even though I knew it was successful, I was still ignorant to, I guess, how successful it was or how successful it was in the eyes of prospective future employers here in this town. Like all the shows I'd ever been on before, you know, they may have even been viewed by more average viewers week by week, but nobody in this town ever knew they were even on TV. Right. This was the first job I ever had where people here were actually

watching yeah yeah so that was obviously helpful um but yeah it had so when i got it my my guys my manager my one one of my managers who was a huge fan of the show already was said you know this is going to lead to other things for you and i of course at this point i'm so jaded and desensitized yeah yeah heard that and i've been hearing that for so long i'm like give me a fucking break just let me just i hope the cat the checks still are able to be cashed and and that's really because At this point, I had, we had a two-year-old and we had twins on the way. So now the stakes had been risen even more. But sure enough, even though I was skeptical, right around the time my episode started airing, I happened to be in the running for a movie.

And I, you know, I typically have not really done that many movies over my career, you know, every now and then I'll do one. And it's not my choice. It's just, you know, it just hasn't worked out for no reason. But this was like a studio movie. And really the thing about it for me was it was with a director that I so admired and wanted to work with. Scott Hicks. He directed the movie Shine. Right.

Yeah. So good. Australian guy. Really sweet dude to me. And anyway, so I was up for this thing. And I was in the running for it. It was me of a few other guys. And what I had heard, I don't know how I heard this.

or why. It's just a silly thing to know. Or maybe I learned it afterwards and then I was even more surprised. But the other guys that I was up against were actors that had that were pretty well known, you know, actors that had been in like Academy Award winning movies. So you thought I'm not getting this. Yeah. I thought but, but you know, just to get to the level where I was in the room with Scott and I was doing a chemistry thing with Taylor Schilling, who is the ultimate female lead in that movie that was that was and i was able to tell scott at the last thing look i don't care if this works out it works out i just want you to know man such a fan and and you really brought a lot of joy into my life with that film specifically and it's just good to be able to express that to you

you know and uh and it just so happened that one of the main producers on it was a huge madman fan and she pushed she pushed for you she she pushed hard for me and ultimately got it it. And what was that movie? And that was called the lucky one. Oh, and that was the other thing. It was on the heels of like, what was the one that, um, uh, notebook, right? That's a really successful Sparks novel, right? And it was kind of on the heels of that. So I thought, hey, it's a Nicholas Sparks movie. Scott Hicks directing it. You know, this could be really, you know, at least keep me working, you know, I didn't think, I didn't have any grand, uh, you know, delusions about what was going to do for my career. But your agents were right.

Right. Madman got you. Without a doubt. And I couldn't question it anymore after that. And so my wife came out, I was just in New Orleans shooting it all summer. And my wife pregnant, like seven months pregnant with twins and a two-year-old comes out to New Orleans to hang out with me for a few weeks, you know? And while she's there, we were cooking dinner one night. And that's when the phone rang and my guys told me they wanted to make me a regular on Madman. So it was like one when the fall after another. And, and yeah, it was, you know, it was life-changing. What a beautiful thing. You know, you look back. It's like, I was ready to go back to Texas. I was ready to garden. And then all these things sort of happen.

Lose weight. Okay. Mad, mad. They liked you. And you became really close friends and still are with John Hamm. Yes. What is it about John Ham that makes him so lovable that people talk so highly of him and, you know, want to be around him and hire him.

constantly. What is it? And why, how did you become great friends? Well, he's got a great energy. He's super funny and witty, which is always something that I'm easily seduced by. He loves playing games. I mean, look, it wasn't just John. It wasn't just ham. We all were very close. And while it's true that with every gig, you know, you develop this bond that sadly isn't always carried over forever with every person. But then there's some people that you kind of carried on with. Ham, certainly one. No, he's no cowboy fan. No, no, not at all. But you went to the Super Bowl with him. Yes. Yeah, he took me to my first, and only Super Bowl. Wow. That was, that was pretty awesome. That was in Indianapolis. But you close to. Yeah, I remember, yeah,

talking to you while you're on your way, you were just elated. You took your son, right? Because I didn't know if you were going to be there because it was the Pat's Giants too. No, I didn't take my son no no no no just you this is just us this was just us and like a like a you know i don't get giddy i don't get star struck really with actors and and musicians but but you put a famous football player in front of me and i turn into a little just a little kid and so at the super bowl i mean it started on the plane right out there i got on the plane ham and another good friend of hams and now mine as well because of because of ham uh john schroeder who's incredible writer he uh tall john tall john i love john oh you know i know john i love him so tall john

and so tall john and and and ham and we were the ones traveling together to the super bowl and and ham had a couple other buddies meeting us there but we were playing a dice game on the on the plane right that just kind of past the time and uh one of the various many games that we would play back then and i turn around and look and at the back of the plane is fucking erin rogers and like what the fuck erin rogers this is like his MVP year for the packers and like you talk to him oh he came right over and he's like what are you guys playing started playing dice with us he was the coolest were you just kind of nervous like oh my god oh yeah because it was erin rogers man even though he's younger than me i'm still like i'm such a fan of the game yeah and then of course that whole week

it was every corner i turned it was troy akeman tony doris jerry jones demarcus where jason witten i had that's what gets you excited oh my god and in fact i'm taking my boys to cowboys practice tomorrow i love it yeah uh i got to get i got to mention it because i met him through you make sure you give me enough time to tell our introduction story you mother well we don't have a ton of time but we're going to do it okay but leonard decaprio you've been friend you still friends still close of course still text each other yep i met you and we became good friends and then you invited me to his beach house one day and i remember playing flag football with leo and some of the guys and he was so competitive we all were so competitive and every little ping pong

meant everything. Beach football meant everything. But he was always so sweet and charming and cool. I was just with some of those guys in, not Leo, but some other friends from that group in Las Vegas this last weekend. I went out there to see the dead at the sphere. So that was how often do you see him? The dead? No. Oh. They're dead. My friends, not often enough. DiCaprio, not much. No. But, you know, I always think that I have a lot of famous friends, you know, you know my close friends aren't that famous my real close friends but i have some close celebrity friends and um you know hanging out with leo all this time wasn't their party that was like i'm not i bet you i know you i know you never said a word but you're like i'd be nice if he gave me a part

in something or for you like did you ever because because he's gay you know i always think these guys are such big they're such big movies they could you know throw but did you ever kind of thinking he's going to throw me a bone uh i know you didn't expect it no No, I didn't, and I didn't expect it, and I didn't think it because I knew him, but more importantly, I knew myself and I knew that while maybe others would be okay with that, I would never be okay with it. I had to do it on my own. I had to. I would have never been able to enjoy it if I did it any other way, especially that way. Right. You know, and now I will tell you, though, I was, I was for a, very small moment. I wouldn't even say I was in the running. I think they probably just did it as a favor to Leo. But when they were doing great Gadsby, I had just come off of that lucky one thing, which is also a Warner Brothers movie. And I did a, I went in and, uh, you know, I did, I did reach out and ask if he could assist in at least getting the director to look at my tape of my audition,

right? And he did. And he did. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, At the time, there was another actor in the running for it, but then he fell out. And then, and, and, and the director had evidently liked my audition. And so they decided to set up a, uh, a test with, with, um, you talk about wildly uncomfortable. Cameras and D.P. For, for years and years. You tested with Leo? So it was me and Leo and Toby and Baz Luhrman in a hotel room at the chateau.

Oh, my God. And doing all these scenes and doing. How long were you there for? take after take after take couple hours easy took a break i mean we were there so long but what i was going to say of course but but at that point it's like you got to just just do it leave it all out you're there do it i belong here but um but what i was going to say is leading up to that uh and this is just another testament to how awesome those guys are both toby and leo took time to work with me and and workshop it a little bit you know and and and and

and really make every effort that they could to try and make that happen without making it happen. Right. And that's- Give you every shot you could- That I would have felt comfortable with. That I was okay with because I knew I'd still have to earn it. But I never want to not earn it. Were you heartbroken when you didn't get it?

It was a little sad. Yeah, because you got so close. Yeah. I mean, you're with Boz, you're with Leo, you're with Toby. Yeah, and I thought it had gone really well and every indication was, but you know, fuck it, man. Did the director call you? I think he may have sent me an email.

Did Leo also call you and say, hey, man, great job. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all of that, yeah. Now, when you're friends with a guy so big, because, like, I'm friends with a guy, but nobody's big as Lee, Leonardo DiCaprio. What do you talk about? I mean, you say, hey, you were really great in that movie. You were really, I mean, because there's part of you that doesn't want to say it,

but you're friends, so you want to say, hey, I want to just tell you, I thought you were freaking awesome. Do you still do that? I'm sure, as a friend. Or do you say I'm going to be too cool like that? Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about football. Oh, no, God, no. If there's something that I feel like I want to express, I'll express it if it's about a performance or whatever. But usually the last time we were all together was at our friend Kevin's birthday. And we spent the majority of the time talking about my kids, you know, and catching him up and everybody up with what's been going on. because sadly, you know, I'm not sad. I mean, sadly for me and my friends, you know,

day-to-day relationship, which is kind of what it used to be, now becoming like seeing them every few months, if I'm lucky. Yeah. You know, it just goes hand in hand with being a family guy and just, you know, I just don't have the time. I was, uh, he had a beach party once and I remember he had a Titanic robe. Do you remember me wearing his Titanic robe around? No, but I believe that he would have done it. And I think I flashed you. And that I went up to Leo with a Titanic rub and he just loved it. He just laughed his ass off.

And he was always so sweet and so laid back and cool. And I just always remember that. I have a picture with us. And I mean, look, I'm sure that I don't know how many people probably said, Hey, Jay, can you introduce me to Leo? Hey, can you get me an autograph from Leo? And you're like, dude, no. I'm not doing that.

I'm not. That's, you know, when he's that, you just got to kind of say no. Well, you know what? I actually did say. to a lot of that back in the day. And in fact, post-Titanic and Leo was still very gracious to do it. I remember my mom had given me this list of names that wanted autographs from Leo after Titanic.

And so I actually went over to his house and he's still living with his mom's house. And I went over there. I asked him if he'd signed some things for these people. And he's like, yeah, sure. And so he sat there on the list was like. There's like 50 pictures. So long. And he looked to me like, are you serious?

like this is a little much don't you think and of course it was and it was just I always took a mile though you give me an inch I'd take a mile dude Mike Tyson was on the show that I was doing and I was a regular and I thought it'd be fun and I was talking to Mike and we had a great time in fact I had a scene with him and I was just like you know I was doing this thing and he's like afterwards you boxed before I go what just you box I go yeah yeah I take I take lessons and I box he's like yeah I could tell the way you throw a punch you know how to box and we like hit it off and i was like oh my god this is great and so i thought i had it in with him and so i thought i'd get the other cast members a glove autographed by mike tyson so i bought all these like gloves boxing gloves and i brought him in his

try i go hey would you mind sign in some gloves for the cast and he goes yeah yeah yeah and he saw that i had like ten pairs of gloves and he goes Jesus christ man what the fuck and i go uh sorry i just goes i go he goes you want me sign all these gloves i go yeah and i go they're just for the cast you just fucking bring them over just fucking bring him over and he sat there and signed him and i was in silence going but he was mad he didn't like it but then i walked out thinking who gives a fuck i'll never see him again yeah you hope you're who gives a shit yeah you hope you yeah got the glove sign and nobody was really that appreciative i shouldn't have fucking done it with amex platinum access to exclusive Have Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot trackside.

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the ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. The Connors has been a huge thing for you. You've been doing it for five years. Yes, I think that's maybe seven. One of the biggest blessings of your life? Oh, for sure. Yeah.

Network television, the world knows who you are now. Network television, greatest schedule in all of show business, doing, as you know, a multi-cam sitcom. Good character. Great character, great character, great. co-stars and heroes of mine and you know the crew is fantastic just one big happy family and it's a it's a shame that it has to come to an end so now we're about to start pounding that pavement again it's see what's over it's it's it what you mean this season yeah they're

only doing six they're only doing six and that's it and you're bummed you wanted to go forever i would not have been bummed if it would have gone longer does john goodman ever nap on set all the time. I knew it. I knew it. It looks like a guy is like, just wait me up

when it's my time. No, he does not. In fact, he is a, he is a nonstop ball of energy. Really? Yeah.

Is he a great guy? Yes. What is it about John Goodman that you look at him and go, he's a movie star, he's a perfect movie star, TV star, both.

He, uh, he just is, is such a well-oiled machine in himself. I mean, he, uh, I think,

I think what we do is probably the least challenging thing for him out of, certainly out of what he's doing right now and gemstones and the contrast between those two characters. Also, it's a character he's been playing for 30-something years. So certainly there's some comfortability factor there and a familiarity factor that plays into the ease with which you can kind of play that character. but what makes him that probably what makes all of us anything which is you know it depends how much of an ass are you willing to make out of yourself how many risks how much yeah exactly and and how much are you not going to care about the result or the response are you surprised at the

success all without rosan i think i i think that was a big x-factor for a lot lot of people nobody know nobody knew what was going to happen and um but i certainly wasn't shocked that it stayed as popular as it did and as highly rated as it has been does her character supposedly die so she dies yeah right and she never came on set to just to say hi all the time no no never not once not one time no no no i'm pretty sure that that bridge was was burned down and john and her aren't friends anymore that i have no idea you don't know you don't talk Talk to him back. No, no, no. No. We, we, we, uh, our conversations are very limited, but just only because, you know, this, the, the, the nature of a multi-cam is it's kind of like

the old school. You're sitting in your room waiting to be called. You go on, you've rehearsed a couple of scenes, go back to your room. And, you know, it's not like on Mad Men where we would run from the set back to our little common area to get back to playing whatever game we were playing and stay together the entire time. We'd never go to our trailer. right so you know it's it's kind of like you know you're just shooting the shit in between you know but you don't really hang out with anybody on the conners right everybody's got their own not really i mean sarah and i've known each other you know that's how i met toby and leo was through sarah so that was back when we were you know 15 years old and you've been friends

ever since what's next do you know i wish i knew so i could stop freaking out are you freaking out again i mean i'm not freaking i'm not to the point of freaking out yet but but it's it's a the position of not of not knowing employment is coming hasn't happened for a while luckily and i've been very blessed you know in that regard so i haven't had to think about it in a long time do you just want to are you happy just working like you have a family are you just happy just working getting a consistent job and working you don't really care you're not so much about oh i'm only doing this or i'm only doing that are you pickier no i'm not uh well maybe just a little bit but i i i really you know whatever it takes somebody throws money actually you're going to probably consider it yeah sure

yeah i mean i'll be fucking honest i mean look until i don't have three boys that won't stop eating no matter how much food we put in the house um maybe then i'll start to be able to be a little bit more picky yeah no we're not there yet yeah now look i know you lost your mom yes recently yes and And that probably had to be the hardest thing you've ever gone through. Sure. Was it unexpected? Yeah. And when was that?

That was June 25th of 2022. And how do you deal with something like that? Because, you know, I've dealt with loss, but to that magnitude, I'm unsure of that. Your parents are still with us, right? They are. And I'm not as close. I remember your mom. I love my parents, but, you know, you were close with your mom.

Oh, yeah. Well, she lived across the street. She lived across the street. And so, first of all, how do you how do you react what happens first i mean when you hear it is it a numbing feeling is it overcome you is it yeah of course all of those things i think shock is the biggest thing you know of course and and uh who called you well she had uh she was supposed to we actually called somebody we called some neighbors to go and check on her because she had not made an appointment

and uh and so the people that she was supposed to have the appointment with had called me. And so that's when we called the neighbors. And then, yeah, sadly, I was on the phone when they found her. So that was not pleasant. But, you know, yeah, it was sudden and unexpected. And there have been moments since that I've wondered, because I do have friends, you know, my friend, my friend Kevin lost both of his parents. Connolly? Yeah. And his daddy lost at a very young age. And also lost his sister. You called him? No, I didn't call him, but I just remember he sadly had to watch both of his parents kind of waste away.

I'm sorry, Kev, if I shouldn't be sharing this, but anybody that's ever lost somebody that's had a terminal illness, you know, where you have the time to prepare yourself. Your mourning as they... Right, and the grieving starts before they're actually gone. And so once they are actually gone, and I don't know because I haven't lost a parent that way to compare it, but perhaps it's somewhat easier in that respect, but then you're also having to watch them waste away. Yeah, it's not good. I've seen that. And so that's, that's the pro for my scenario, right, that I didn't have to see that.

But then the con to my scenario is that it was sudden and unexpected and, you know, not being able to. if there's anything unsaid that you feel like you wanted to get off your chest, which I was very lucky there wasn't because my mom and I were so close. Yeah, yeah. I mean, she knew everything. There was nothing. There was nothing left. Were you surprised by how emotional you were?

No, I was maybe surprised at how delayed the, the, the sad part of it was for me. When did that hit? It really wasn't until the next morning. Yeah. I was kind of just in a stunned. I mean, I cried a little bit that first day as I was having to, you know, which is the most unpleasant part of it, of course, as you're going through all that shock, as you're going through all that initial stages of grieving, you're also having, as being her only child, you know, it was incumbent upon me to be the one calling everybody to tell them. The worst. And that is the worst part.

because it's the same conversation over and over, the same response over and over. And it's just all the while compounding itself onto you and making it more and more and more. And there's certain conversations that you have where you then you feel it. Oh, yeah, no, totally. I think that that's, if I did shed any tears

in that, at that part of the day, it was like when I was calling her siblings that are still around and, you know, my dad, that was a tough one. And they're still close? They were... My mom and dad? Yeah.

No, no, they were not. But... But she was still my mom. And he was very emotional? Oh, of course, yes. And he came out for her celebration. In fact, he was the first one that spoke at her celebration. But, yeah, so that was crazy.

And telling our kids was crazy. The hardest part was that we were in Oregon. We'd just got into Oregon for the summer. And in fact, we'd just come off the river. We had done a family float down the river, the five of us. So you had a high and then you're exhausted, getting off, and then you hear this. Yeah. And I didn't, you know, I, of course, I got these calls all the time from my uncle when he was still alive because he would call my mom and text her.

She wouldn't respond. And he'd call me. Something's wrong with your mom. And I'd go over there, knock, knock, knock. Mom, yeah? Like, what are you doing? Or I'd call her, mom, yeah? She'd answer.

Say, what are you doing? Larry is trying to call you and text you and you won't return his calls. He's worried about you. He's calling me. and she's like ah yeah i know i got to i gotta get back to right blah blah so this was just another day when i heard that right that's that's where i thought this was going uh but yeah that was it was uh you know for any it's it's it's the moment in your life and and perhaps you've been faced with this already through other ways but for me i found it was it was the singular moment in my life

where I was forced to recognize my own mortality. That until that moment, I was still in a kind of immortal state of mind. That young kind of invincible, the end will never come state of mind. And this kind of hit you like a brick. And then it's like, oh, shit, I'm only 30 years younger than my mom. So does that mean I've only got 30 years? Does that mean I've got less than 30 years?

How old will my kids be in 20? You start to think too much. Where is that going to leave them? Oh, God, they're not going to have their dad around at such an old age like I have. You go down this rabbit. My dad is still alive. Thank God. And in great shape mentally, physically, you know, has every, all of his faculties.

And I still seek his counsel all the time. And so, yes, so you start thinking about all of that stuff and, you know, what, but then there's there's positives that come from it like there is from every bad situation in life if you really analyze it and that's that then it starts to make you think okay well how what can i be doing better that that can improve my life and make it to where i'm doing all that i can to make sure that i'm around as long as i can be um yeah and my mom you know she you would have had no idea and the reason what took her out sadly was this mix of medication that she had to be on because of all these little things that she had.

I mean, she was fine, you know, I mean, mentally and really physically she's that's what sucks. Just had both of her knees replace. She was getting ready to get back out, go on trips to Europe and all this shit. And then she had an ulcer that was caused by these two conflicting medications that they knew was one of the possible side effects. And, you know, these types of ulcers can come on so suddenly. And if they rupture near an artery, it's it, it's lights out.

It's just, and that's, that's how she went. All right. Well, let's go to. a positive note okay uh this is it tell me uh so we met i was on fresh meat they no no no no no no this is going to be from my point all right but you remember i was cast last minute i understand believe me okay so here's the deal so i was uh i was uh i was uh in that state of mind in the late 90s where i refused to do uh sitcom right that was too that was too good for that right i hadn't done one since evening shade wasn't interested in doing it was probably more fear based than it was

any type of artistic integrity. But then I found out that this was on the heels of one of you and I shared favorite movies, Tommy Boy, Pete Segal. And we were still basking in the afterglow of that. And then here comes this show that is going to be written by Fred Wolf, which is another great S&L alum, and then directed by Pete Segal. And so I thought, oh, my God, these guys are like some of my new favorite people on the planet. I got to go, I don't care if it, what it is, I'll go and work with these guys just to work with

them. And so I go out and audition for this, this pilot that was called Fresh Meat, the worst fucking title for, about assistance in the entertainment industry. And, and it was kind of a want to be friends about this collection of young 20 somethings that lived in the same apartment complex. And we, we all assistants of some kind on this, on the show? Okay. Okay, okay. I remember that I was an assistant to, to, to, to, to uh to uh fred to fred to fred well fred uh who's the guy comedian he was waiting for guffman what do we what do we're anyway go ahead willer willard yes yeah how dare us great i love fred willard may god strike us down no god don't strike us down sorry fred god rest in peace but anyway so uh so i

end up getting this thing i'm really excited about it we rehearsed for two weeks i'm getting to meet Fred Willard. I think Martin Moll might have been on it too. And meeting these people and working with these people. Pete was Pete Siegel was great. And Fred Wolf was awesome. And on the show, you know, it was an ensemble show, but there were two male leads. I was one and this other character was the other. And it was a total Martin Lewis dynamic. I was a straight guy. And this other character was kind of the wacky, you know, goofy, funny guy. And the guy that was cast as this character and I, as well as all the other actors on the show, really got on great. The rehearsals went great. We're rehearsing. We're bonding. We're going out for drinks and dinner. And I developed,

you know, by the time it was time to get ready to shoot this thing, I really felt like this other guy and I had that dynamic. We had that chemistry. I thought he was hilarious and was going to make the show, you know, great. And we're going to shoot on a Friday. And I get a call on a Wednesday night. Now, we've been rehearsing for two weeks. I get a call on a Wednesday night from Pete Ziegle. And he says, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm very saddened and upset by it. But the network wants to replace so-and-so. And I was furious. I was devastated. I wanted to call the network. Pete was like, don't bother. I've tried. There's nothing we can do. We've got to recast it. But the good news is we've got a guy. And we think you're going to love them. We love them. And just do us a favor.

and and please don't take out any of your animosity or anger on him because none you know he it's not his fault and and and i'm like i was just so mad and uh you know thought oh fuck this new guy you know who cares who he is i don't care how good he is this is the guy for the job i don't want this new guy i don't even know any of this new guy and you know this just sucks i just hated it and i felt terrible for the guy that got let go so plus i'm also thinking to myself We've been rehearsing for two fucking weeks. This guy's going to come. You're telling me this guy's going to come in here.

The day before, we're going to shoot this thing and learn all of the shit and then be able to perform in front of a live audience and pull it off and do a good job at the same time. No way. No way. I was not a believer. So I went to sleep that night. And the next morning I woke up. It's time to go to work.

And on my way into work, I was still fuming. But I thought, you know, Jay, you're being redone. ridiculous. This guy has, whoever this guy is, this new guy, he has nothing to do with this. It's not his fault. And he deserves to be given every opportunity to succeed here. And so I felt it was, you know, incumbent upon all of the cast, but especially me, because our two characters are supposed to be so close to welcome you, welcome this new guy with open arms and really try to just go into it with a great attitude and make him feel as comfortable as possible because the truth was we had a shared, you know, interest, a common interest in this show working out,

right? So we everybody had everything to gain from it. And we had everything to lose if we just totally made you feel like an outsider. So I get to set that day and I'm really nervous about meeting this new guy, really wanting him to be cool and funny and different because that's what this other guy had been. And I, Pete standing, Pete Siegel standing there. And I walk up and it's, it's this gentleman, Michael Rosenbaum. And Pete goes, Jay, I'd like you to meet Michael Rosenbaum. And I stuck my hand out. And I said, Jay Ferguson, nice to meet you. And I brought him in and I hugged them. And we hugged each other. And I said, nice to meet you, bro. And we pulled away from each other. And he looked at me in the first words that Michael Rosenbaum ever spoke to me was,

Whoa, bro, shit sandwich for breakfast? Did I really? And what's awesome is in that I laughed hilariously. And in that moment, I knew that we were kindred. Not only were we kindred spirits, but you were the right guy for the job and that this was going to work out perfectly. All from that, just that first sentence. Would you eat a shit sandwich? Yes.

Oh, it was great. That was one of your famous ones back in those days. You know, I just. you know I thank you for this just means the world to me I've got more I got a little bit go ahead no I was just going to say I was you couldn't be more nervous I had to learn all this stuff in one day front of the live of studio audience I was freaking out and it was a ton of if you remember physical comedy physical comedy remember I did like he wanted me to do like a Chris Farley when I walked oh yeah oh yeah yeah you know a bunch of stuff yeah yeah

yeah yeah well I was going to say that you know when you when you look back and I love tracing back things events to the origin of like how they began right and when i think back and like i was saying before how i've gotten ever gotten something out of every gig i've ever done when i look at that gig there is no doubt in my mind that the main reason i did that was not to work with pete segal was not to work with fred wolf or fred willard or martin mole or meet any of those people the main reason that experience came into my life was so that you and i could meet and become 100% and that's what i get from it that that was the thing that i got from that gig and what's even more interesting is like you were saying at the time we both had kind of separate big circles of

friends when you and i met we merged those circles oh yeah and there are several all the time there are several people several friends and maybe several love interests my romantic relationships that owe that to you and i'm eating and i want our fucking credit absolutely i think we deserve that credit it was yeah dude it really was i that's what i always say that it's the hand of fate sometimes you just have to let fate take you where you're supposed to go and we were there and it didn't work out with the biggest director coming off the biggest comedy and you know we were promised you know we're going to do you know i'm going to hire you for this and none of that matters no but you know what is interesting go ahead you all that matters is that you met someone that would change your life and be a

part of your life that you didn't realize that was important to you, that would become important to you. And that's why every moment in life, when they say be present, be present because you never know who you're going to meet or what you're going to get into or you're going to find. It's, it's pretty cool. Yeah, it is. It's great. And it's the miracle of this business, how you can really, once you've been in it, long enough, look back and see all of those little origin points, you know, where all of these people came into your life, some that would just maybe facilitate a movement in your career, others that would just become friends, you know.

And all of the people that I've, I could think about that I've met because of you. And vice versa. That you have met. 100% because of me. And, you know, that's what really means the most because it's easy to get caught up in the preconce, the concepts and the minutia about what is this going to,

do for me. Yeah. Be present, man. Be open. Things that you, that you think you want it to do for you or might not, might not be the things that it does. Just let it go and see where it takes you. Yeah. Dude, I love you. This has been fucking great. I love it too. I really come back anytime. I'm glad. I'm glad you had fun. Yeah. Oh, I remember what I was going to say. The tail end of it was that out of that out of that out of that, out of that out of that, out of those deals, me on one show that lasted for a very small amount of time, and you onto another show that lasted for a very long amount of time. But both of those shows shot in Vancouver, so we stayed together for like another six, eight months or whatever it was while I was out there. Fate, brother. That's it. This is awesome. You're the best. I love you, man. I love you too,

man. Wait, I didn't get charged for my donut. It was free with this Tim's rewards points. I think I just stole it. I'm a donut. not stealer. Ooh. Earn points so fast, it'll seem too good to be true. Plus, join Tim's rewards today and get enough points for a free donut, drink, or timbits. With 800 points after registration, activation, and first purchase of a dollar or more.

See the Tim's app for details at participating in restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Just a good dude, right? Just a good dude. Yeah, I say that a lot. Like, there's a lot of good people around there. But, like, you can just tell. He's genuine. He's always, this guy has had the same truck since I've known him.

And I've had the same van since he's known me pretty much. So he usually has a big beard and he's just jolly. And his laugh is contagious. But it was great. It was great talking to him. So thanks, Jay. Thanks for being on the podcast. Let's get into other stuff.

If you didn't listen to the preamble to all this, rewind because there's a lot of information, cons and all that stuff. But the top tiers, why don't we get into the top tiers? these are the people that give back the most Patreon.com slash inside of you if you want to support the podcast and give back and these are in no particular order

but just I guess from the first time they join maybe that is the order you think I think so Nancy D. Little Lisa Yukiko Brian H, Nico P Bob L

Jason Dreamweaver Sophie M I saw a lot of these people on the Zoom Raj C Jennifer N, Stacey L. Jamal F. Janelle B. Mike. Just Mike. Just Mike.

L. Don Supremo. 99 more. Santiago M. Maddie S. Kendrick F. Belinda N. Dave. Dave H. Dave H. Brad D. Brad D. Raye. Rayeada da da. Beautiful baby. Beautiful baby boy.

Dav of the T. Good to see you. And Tom N. and Talia M. Betsy D. Rian and C. Michelle A. Jeremy C. Eugene and Leah. Mel S. Eric H. Amanda R. William K. Kevin E. Jor L. Jamin J. Leanne J. Luna R. Jules M. Jessica B. Klee J. Sharlene A. Marion Louise L. Romeo, the band. Frank B. Gen T. T. T. T. T. T. April R. Randy S. Claudia. Rachel D, Nick W.

Stephan and Evan. Stefan. Correct. Charlene A. Don G. Jenny B. 76. You guys have been with me forever. And I just appreciate it.

I mean, you're still here. N.G. Tracy, Keith B. Heather and Gregor. I'll be seeing you guys soon. L.E.K. Ben B. P.R. C. Sultan. Ingrid C. Dave T. David L. Jeff G.

K. Kareem H. and Ryan B. You guys, I could not. not do this without you. So keep supporting me if you can. And those of you who aren't, maybe start. That's what I have to say about that. This has been a real treat. And Ryan, good to see you. Good to see you. Let me know how that helix matrix works for you. I can't wait. Yes, from the Hollywood Hills in Hollywood, California. I'm Michael Rosenbaum. I'm Ryan Deyes. A little way up to the camera. We love you guys. Be good to yourself. See you next week. Football season is here.

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