Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - JAY MOHR: Profound Self Revelations, Dueling Impressions & His Addiction to Approval

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Jay Mohr (Jerry Maguire, SNL) joins us this week for an absolutely amazing conversation… one that’ll make you self reflect on your life while cracking up at the same time. Jay talks about his earliest drug (approval) and how seeking it lead to success in comedy but difficulties in show business, ala SNL. We also talk about accepting responsibility for your own problems, his Wu-Tang fueled intervention story, and going toe to toe with Tom Cruise on Jerry Maguire. Thank you to our sponsors: 🛍️ Shopify: https://shopify.com/inside 🍓 Strawberry: https://strawberry.me/inside 🚀 Rocket Money: https://rocketmoney.com/inside ❤️ Betterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/inside __________________________________________________ 💖 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/insideofyou 👕 Inside Of You Merch: https://store.insideofyoupodcast.com/ __________________________________________________ Watch or listen to more episodes! 📺 https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/show __________________________________________________ Follow us online! 📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🤣 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@insideofyou_podcast 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/insideofyoupod 🌐 Website: https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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With a towing capacity of 3,500 kilograms and a weighting depth of 900 millimeters, the Defender 110 pushes what's possible. Learn more at landrover.ca. You're listening to Inside of You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Thanks for joining me today. Wow. I've interviewed a lot of people

A lot. Very exciting. A lot of exciting guests. I never thought I'd be doing this. Couple duds. A couple duds along the way. Frickudds. Thanks for listening.

If you're here for Jay Moore, you found the right place. If you end up liking this interview and go, hey, you know, he doesn't suck as an interviewer. I would love if you followed us and subscribe to the show

and give this podcast a little chance. We've had some great guests. You just have to look down the rabbit hole of all the guests we've done. But I think you'll really enjoy it. We talk about mental health, life, real stuff, not actory stuff. I try to stay away from that if I can. Every once in a while we do impressions and stuff.

Oh, yeah. But what are you going to do? If you want to support this podcast, we rely on our patrons. If you want to go to Patreon, p-at-R-E-O-N, Patreon.com slash inside of you and join and get back to the podcast. That would be great. We have so many wonderful patrons, top tiers. grand tiers or no there's the the new tier is the how deep is your love tier and that's the and then there's the top tier and the other tiers but the how deep is your love tier is pretty

pretty cool in fact uh you'll be on the show really right if you join um you know i interview you for you know a couple minutes at the end of an episode and we talk about you know anything anything you want to talk about do we all have to do a three-part harmony like the bgis do Nobody gets to heaven. A few things. If you want to go to my Instagram at the Michael Rosenbaum, the link tree is there. And you can find everything I'm doing, cameos, cons, the Smallville Cruise, the convention in Chicago, all that and more.

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What not? What's the other saying that people say that's just stupid? What have you? And so on. And then such. Et cetera. Et cetera. Jay Moore is here.

And I've known Jay for a long time. He's been in the industry for a long time. Been in a lot of movies that you know. Stead the test of time. He's still working and still doing comedy. And I've never seen him this happy. I think, you know, this is, uh, he went through a lot. lot and we get into it and i really appreciate it i really appreciated having him it just it just

was enlightening you know i see him at the laker games and i see him like oh hey and we talk for a second but you know there's so many people and then having a one-on-one with jay i got to know him and i really i really had fun and uh jane consider your friend my friend and uh why don't we just do it why don't we get inside jay more it's my point of you you're listening to inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum

Was not recorded in front of a live studio audience Have you always had a large personality, Jay? That's the nicest way anybody's ever put it. No, it's like you have a great personality, but I just wonder if it's like... Have you always worn people out? I wear people out. Like when I was younger, it was just like I was always on because I needed attention because I didn't get it from my family.

So I needed attention. So I would kind of lash out and try to do what I can. Same. Yeah, I was always bonkers. And then it wasn't until I started doing stand-up where I was able to go, oh, I can take all this energy and harness it like wild horses into this one area. You know what I mean? Yeah. I could just focus this on doing stand-up and going crazy, just writing, performing, going traveling, traveling,

lane going all over the place. But don't you think it comes out of a place like, for me, it's anxiety. And I didn't know I had anxiety growing up, but I had tons of anxiety. It's my moat. You know, like a moat around the castle. I can keep you on my side of the moat with it or I can keep you on that side of the moat with it. So, you know, and like love bombing.

I'm a big love bomber back in the day. Like I just. Love everybody. Inundate you with stuff. Just overwhelm you with stuff. Here's a meme. Here's this. Here's a YouTube.

clip here's this i drew this for you i mailed this to you like just just don't why do you think you do that i need you to like me really oh yeah that's my first addiction is your approval and what do you think caused that because for me it's obviously we didn't like ourselves i don't know if i don't like my didn't like myself or i just me it's more like where is everybody like child of an alcoholic youngest out of youngest by five years with an alcoholic parent and a dad that worked in Manhattan from New Jersey, it was just like, I'm alone a lot. So I think if I get you, there's an anxiety of like, you're not going to leave. Abandonment issues.

Yeah, but not even just like a low key abandonment issue, but also I do get a euphoria from the connection. I do love this. You love connection. But then I love it on my terms. Like, that's why I love stand up. It's like, look at me, look at me. Shows over.

I'm going to go to my hotel room. it's quiet and I'm just going to watch like to catch a smuggler for two hours or watch catfish or something I just watched an article I read an article I read an article

and I was like I watched an article's great by I watched this article but I sent it to my friend and it was like it kind of made me a little nervous and it was like if you watch those crime shows

researchers find that people oh no that's that's researchers find that people without children tend to be happier. That's a different article. I believe that. Something along the lines of that, the people that are addicted to crime shows and that's what they watch before they go to bed,

there's something deeply disturbed about them. No, I don't think that's true. I hope not. No, it's stupid. You think it's stupid? Everything's sensationalized. Everything's either blue or red or like, great for you or bad.

Everything's, you've got to do the cold plunge. You've got to do intermittent fasting. Do you do any of it? No, I like comfort. my body i have this weird human body that's perfectly designed to fight infection and regulate itself upon my arrival into the world as a three pound premature fetal alcohol syndrome baby and fight its own like i don't it's like oh no wonder i only live to be 90 i wasn't cold plunging and squeeze out that 92 scientists say that if you cold plunger like where's all the

science how long have they been doing this you know your lymphotic system and yeah okay right every time how many times for a while though admit it you would screenshot certain things because you're like I want to and you never try it I'll screenshot exercises that I'll see like some chick with like the cord going through her you know like I'll see like a certain that sounds very weird I screenshot exercises to remember to do them I can't even visualize it I'm a bit of a fitness nut Michael you are now well you know as Colin Quinn would say it's one way that's a perfect Colin Quinn Well, that's one way you're looking at it, you know. Do you think Colin Quinn's really funny?

He's amazingly funny. Really, because I knew him from, like, remote control continues and all that stuff. I didn't, I'd never really seen his stand-up. Watch history of the world when he just does the entire history of the world in an hour and breaks down. Brilliant. Ottoman Empire, the Iraq War, like, why, yeah. All right. Islam, it's all dirty issues, you know.

No, my right, you like my friend, you like my card, you get out my car. oh he's the best Colin Quinn's a guy that when I watch I've done when I write sometimes I'll go like well if Norm MacDonald was writing this exact bit what are the tags

because then your brain goes to a different direction yeah and then if Colin Quinn's like the go-to guy for me like well what would Colin say yeah because he's so smart do you like Dennis Miller oh the most the album see I see that you love Bill

Hicks. Yeah, the album I listened to more than any rock and roll album was Dennis Miller, the off white album. I had it on cassette, and when I was doing stand-up, I had the Beastie Boys Paul's Boutique, Miles Davis, kind of blue, and Dennis Miller, the off-white album. And it's just over and over. What about when you were a kid, though? What was funny to you? Who were the comedians that you were going, oh, I want to be like? Just all of it. Like, I just loved it. I loved, like, Star Search. Anytime they had the comedians on. Yes. Yes, sir. Hot property. I worked with Ed. I did a show with him. It was the worst show in the history of television. I worked with Ed, too. You wanted... Did you, Johnny? Yeah. Do you really think you're fooling everybody? Would you work with that? It's so cold. It's so cold I saw Robin putting his worm in the microwave. Yes. It was called The Tom Show, the Tom Arnold Show, and it was ranked 132 out of 131 shows. What was one?

31. I don't know, but it was really bad. And Ed McMahon was on the show. I'm surprised I didn't screen test for that. He was not get it. He was my, you know what? What did Ed McMahon play? He played like the, uh, the guy who owned the TV station. But like, I remember I got a show and I went out to California and I thought I made it. I was so excited. I like, I'm on a TV show. I'm a regular. I'm working at Universal. And nobody cared. And it really hurt my ego. It was like, like oh that show's terrible or no no it just it was like i finally am a working actor and nobody gives a shit now you think that would be okay for me because i'm working and i'm making money but like in my head i was always like i want i want people to recognize me yeah that shows

what your intentions were going in for sure mine were also that in what show or just the business camp wilder was my first sitcom and that was on abc on tgif thank goodness it's funny yeah and it was after like, you know, step-by-step, family matters and dinosaurs. And that was your first show? Yeah, Jerry O'Connell, Hillary Swank, me, Jared Leto. It was nuts. It was a good? It was all right.

It was a little confusing. It was like, we live with, he, the parents have died. Always comedy, gold. Gold. Mary Paige Keller is the oldest sister. I'm Mary Paige Keller. I worked with her. She's incredible.

She's great. A lot of crush on her. Oh, who didn't? And her husband's an animal. Is he just rich? No, he's like a... Like a kung fu movie guy. Oh, I don't remember that.

But I remember Mary Paige Keller. Yeah. She's probably our age now, a little older. A little older. Yeah. She was on Madman. But you were saying you went into that show thinking, you know, you're going to get attention for it. Oh, yeah.

Like, you know, and even into like Jerry Maguire, the movie comes out and you walk around like, nobody's... The amount of people that see... an actual movie in the theater is infinitesimal. And then I put it out of my mind to save my ego and my pride. And then I remember I was in New York, it came out on DVD. And then people start kind of doing double takes when I'm walking down the street. And I was like, oh, I got this, I got how this business works all wrong.

Yeah. Like the DVD is the DVD. That's where it's at. The laser disc. Laser disc. I still have a laser disc player. Really? And like 50 to 60 laser discs.

What do you watch on it? Rineston. Nothing. I don't watch it. It's in my closet. It's not hooked up. But I have like the jaws with the commentary and the book and the there. There's outtakes in jaws that no one's seen, but there's like this old guy that that Spielberg hired thinking he was just a regular. Robert Shaw? No, he was like 90, but he had a scene with Robert Shaw. He thinks, oh, I could get this 90 year old to get these lines out. And the guy's like, I quit, Mr. Quint. I quit. I ain't going. I ain't going that old slab, no crazy shack. And then Spielberg goes, all right, I quit. I quit. Quit, Mr. Quint. I quit. I quit. I quit. And it's just like you can't get this guy to say the lines.

But it's like that's what the Laserdisc had. It had all these special things in the Benchley book. Usually when there's commentary, I hate it. Because I just like the product of the film. You never listen to commentary? With the exception of the Sopranos, I watched something where they were all doing commentary. And I was just in awe.

I don't remember anything particular about it. You just were engaged. And I went back and watched it and recorded the entire season because they were rerunning it on like HBO or something. Why is it that it takes us so long to stop worrying about what people think? Why is it that no matter what you tell people, they still care about what people think. I mean, I'm much better than I was.

I was like, you know, it was like, I didn't get the love and affection at home. I didn't get anything. So for me, that's all it was. See, I thought that was true for me, and I'm going to come back to your question, I thought that was true for me, but when I really take an honest look through an unbiased lens, it was a pretty reliable place. Home? Yeah, like, I was just an insatiable kid. So you're putting the blame on yourself? Well, yeah, all my problems are because of me.

It's just 101. I don't believe that. Oh. I believe that some of your problems are caused by other people that you then. have to fix and work out. But I've done something along the way to step on toes that's like butterfly affects it. You know, it's something. It ain't.

Something inherent, something inherent. We're all wired for selfishness. And when you're an alcoholic or a drug addict, it's, it overflows into all the other buckets in your life. So going back to your question, the primal urges, we just know thirst hunger sex are the ones we talk about the most, to get a species, to stay a species. But being popular is absolutely a primal urge. If I don't like you, I'm going to vote you out of the tribe. We're going to club you to death on the next hike. Jesus. You know, you know, so being popular is one of those things

that sustain a species. That's evolutionary psychology. To be popular means you're in the group. You're in the middle. You're part of something. You're working. You're valuable. You're valuable. People like you. But when that need to be popular, overflow. into thirst hunger sex power money this then it's it becomes and you were an alcoholic i am an alcoholic yeah so once and so you say you're an alcoholic but you don't drink anymore but once an alcoholic always an alcoholic yeah is do you still crave it no that that got that got separated pretty quickly for me i was but i mean it came i got sober at 50 so it's like how old are you 54 oh so you just got sober i mean if you want to minimize

three years and 11 months, sure. Three years. I'm not minimizing it. That's just a before Abraham I am. Fucking timeless wizard over here. Mr. Millennium. I forgot you were Mr. Millennium. Wait, you've only been sober for three.

Fuck you. That's it. No, I didn't mean that. But did you have an intervention? Yeah, you don't know this? I might have known. I got like the best intervention story of all time. Please.

I'm not going to tell it on this podcast. I'll do it on one with, you know, with an audience. Are you kidding me? You have to tell a drug addict a lie to get us to an intervention because you can't outthink us. We think we're always playing three-dimensional chess because we don't want to get caught. So you got to trick us. You can't just say like, hey, when you come on over, we all want to talk to you. It's like, no, I don't think so.

No way. So the lie they told me to trick me. For my podcast, more stories, Apple, podcasts, Spotify, and of course YouTube, hit the subscribe button. I appreciate that very much. Yes, listen to his podcast. I mean, because the one thing about you and I want you to continue is that I said to Ryan before he came is like you you're honest you don't like i even your stand-up sometimes you say shit i'm like oh my god did that really happen you know like i went and saw saw you at the comedy store of

laugh factory once and genie was there and you said so shit and we were looking each other like what but that just plays into the wanting to be liked but that's i don't know if it was true or not yeah that's true that well it might be embellished but that's just my life hack to get you to keep looking at me you know what i mean it worked yeah Inside of You is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money, period. It's Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

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It worked. So for my podcast, I mean, for my intervention, I was told that for my podcast the next morning, at 8 a.m. I was going to interview Wu-Tang Clan. And I was so high, I thought that was true. I thought Wu-Tang Clan was coming over to my house at 8 o'clock in the morning. I thought, so I stayed up all night preparing for a great, even you God got some questions in this. Like I've, no Wu was going unturned. This was their ploy. Yeah. Skyler Stone, comedian, said, he goes, I got you Rizza and I think we got the rest of Wutang

and I was like, all right and then for the next two weeks he was emailing me from a dummy account as Riza to coordinate this podcast. So he's, it was like ZigZ, that's kind of, I mean, it's brilliant. It's brilliant, but it's also like

what the fuck? Yeah, but I mean it got me in the room. So you're sitting there I walk in, first of all, an intervention is like the worst surprise party you'll ever be at you walk in and everybody you love is there and you're like hey and then it'll look happy oh no you turn into like a demon you curse out your grandma like you lie were you angry you lied to me you old bitch you're a liar you go you old hag why would you fight with you go crazy did you uh no i just kind of like the air completely came out

of my being and i was just all right say talk yeah and my interventionist was a skinhead and he had like a swastika tattooed to his head. A former skinhead. Yeah, he was having a swastika removed, but not. If you're not, if you drink alcohol and you're an alcoholic when you stop drinking, is he still a skinhead? That's a good question. I don't know if he's worth trampling on my joke for it.

No, no, sorry. I don't know if that's. Go ahead, go ahead. So he was a former and he had no teeth. Yeah. He was an old meth guy. He smoked his teeth out. So it's the most important day of my life.

It's like, real earnest, like, they paint them and don't mean so much. Oh, my. But they don't want to let me to dance. It was nuts. And it was a fast intervention. Eight minutes in, I go, just so you guys know, I'm going. Just.

That was it? Well, that circumstance, not virtue. I'm an approval addict. The fastest way to get a room of people that were very upset with me to be happy with the dancing boy again was just to agree to what they were offering. And then everybody said, I was like, yeah, going, but I knew. Like, I was, I could not stop doing drugs. I could not stop. Did you hear whose story got you? I didn't need, um, I learned that Jeannie bought another house and if I didn't

go to treatment, she was going to move and not tell me where she went. I learned that every time somebody visited me, they were doing welfare checks on my sons to see if they were okay. And it was just there's 11 people in a room crying about how frightened they are and how terrible things are and they can't it's really just like a come to Jesus moment of they can't all be lying the odds of this being a joke everyone everyone's overreacting is but I also knew like I'm spending 50,000 dollars a year on Adderall with a barterall oh helps you focus on getting more Adderall. Eventually, it's all it is.

It's a full-time job. You know, I think also, tell me if I'm wrong, but he said that like Columbo. Adderall, no kidding. Adderall. The funny thing is you were taking care of shopper at all. That's... Anyway.

Isn't that? You're the best. He used to do that. Oh, yeah. He would be like, you said you're left-handed, but you shot with the right. I was just wondering him. Yeah, you know what? Thank you.

I like when he goes, you're probably right. It's probably nothing. I also love that all the crimes, you know, law and order, they got a guy like peeing in an alley. They catch them, they chase him down into like garbage cans. And in Colombo, it's like, Lieutenant, I'm in the middle of my symphony. Like, I'm literally about to launch my yacht. Yeah.

I know. But if I could just. I don't have a pencil Do you It's all right I'll remember Do you A bit I had that never worked

Was Columbo Trying to solve 9-11 Box cutters That's it That's all you need That's the line Box cutters And nobody

Do you think in the intervention It was also The feeling that Wow These people love me they actually love me oh no these people they they did me dirty i thought genie did the intervention it was my agent i thought genie did my intervention so i was just like oh wow you're gonna do me like that and when i was packing like how do you pack for rehab like what do you're like i don't

know what to bring so i'm depression you just bring one pair of sweatpants on a t-shirt i had a backpack and i was just angry packing and i just stare at her the whole time i had a I didn't say nothing. Really? And then when I got to rehab, all I had was 14 pairs of socks. And then I had to call her like, could you bring me pants? No, you didn't. Oh, yeah.

That's true. Here's the big ask from rehab. Could you bring me pistachios and some orange Gatorade? Like, that's where you're at. You just behave so they give you a nice. cream sandwich at the end of the right how do you feel now honestly it's the greatest thing that ever happened to me i am a i'm free between here between my ears people between here i don't know i between here i called your chair a shirt before i think i'm got a tumor i'm like

where'd you get that shirt you're like what do you so you feel like there's just this weight off your back i'm free i'm not obsessing over drugs or alcohol i i i i i'm wake up with a quiet mind i wake up with purpose i guys call me for help and i get to help them wow it's incredible yeah um who's the guy goes to the lakers with you cowboy dan says hi cowboy dan i fucking isn't your sponsor yeah he's like he's amazing dude i can't oh i like that guy tell him i said hi about you that's how he sounds you had the heckle of the year last year what was it I couldn't even get it out Who did I say?

Herder, H-U-E-R-T-R Oh, because he looks like a kid He looks like Dugie Houser I think he was on the Hawks And I was yelling Just a random, he does I am hammering Trey Young calling him baby hair

And I got a baby hair chant Baby hair Baby hair And then just from behind me here Herder, you're a child And it was so great Because Hey, it's hilarious

Because he does You would never yell at a guy You're like, you don't look like a child. You are a child. Herder, you're a child. But you changed your voice to be older for maximum efficacy. Hurt her. You're a child.

Oh, God. Those games are so fun when we're just riffing. And I love when you're there. And I love that, I love that, you know, it's like, Jeannie's the owner of the Lakers. And she just likes when people are having a good time. Yeah. She just wants us like, she invites probably a lot of boring people to the games.

So we're like, oh, hi, Jeannie and this. be surprised how many of them viped themselves, but sure. But like, when I come with the guys and you're there, it's just, I have so much fun because it just... The games are the best when you're there. When I'm there? Oh, yeah, yeah. For, you're awesome. Like, you're a great hang. Like, I love every time I see it. I didn't even know that. I didn't know if you liked me. I was surprised you did the podcast. I thought you can say, I didn't, I don't like you. No, see, I used to, before I got sober, that's exactly what I would have said. And everybody kept you on your heels on the other side of the moat. I don't know. I was like, I don't know.

Jay likes me. I think he doesn't. I think you're phenomenal. Thanks, dude. See, I need that. What are you doing after this? I don't know. What are you doing? You know, when you come to the game, it's the best.

And, you know, it's, what was I just going to say about that? You come, you have a, oh, I, oh, I heckled Ben Simmons and security told me, I'd have to, if I didn't stop, I'd have to leave. But it wasn't NBA security. It was his fucking bum security. So you don't have to listen to them?

Because he's a bum. He's a fucking bum. Look up that contract. Ben Simmons. He's the 6-10 point guard from LSU that passes up open layups because he freaks out. And he like kicks it out. And you were saying you're a bum? He was taking, no, he was taking a free throw because he never plays.

He's like Kauai Leonard East. And he was taking a free throw and I went, it's the ghost of Ben Simmons. Whoa! Or people dying? Oh, yeah. And I got the hand on me. And I was like, I felt, you're sitting right next to Jeannie. Don't do that.

So I was like, he goes, you can say his number. You can't say his name. And the Jeannie goes, you know, that's not NBA security. That's his security. And then I was like, he's a bum. Oh, my God. Let me ask you this. Let me jump to this.

Was Jerry McGuire, honestly, did you audition for it? Yeah, for three different parts. How many auditions? Well, three. Three. I knew you're going to say that But I was I had you all right over there

It's just It's like Arthur and Dudley Moore When he's like at the old guy Who can't walk in the room And the old guy's like this He's like Do you have a These are jokes

This is called comedy He's like Can I get you the place? I just keep picking him up in my periphery I forget Jimmy No Ryan. That's Ryan. That's Ryan. I thought it was Blanche. That's Ryan. It's Ryan. Jerry McGuire, I auditioned to be, see how I play for the editor? You like that?

Yeah, I like it. Jerry McGuire, I audition to be the football player played by Jerry O'Connell. And I blew my Southern accent that day. Like, I just couldn't get my act together. And then they said, well, you know, did you read the script? I'm like, oh, yeah. They said, there's the part of the male nanny. Maybe you could do that. And I was like, I'll do whatever. So I go out in the hallway and they go, Go out, read it, and come back when you're ready. I was like, ooh, pressure's on. But the male nanny, it's when Brad DeLuiso plays it and says, hold on, I want you to use this if you're going out with her tonight. And you think he's going to give Tom a condom, but he hands him a jazz cassette. I had that cassette. So I knew every musician.

And what Cameron Crow wrote was Miles David. And it's basically all the musicians from Kind of Blue, which I told you I wore out. And I'm like, Miles Davis, Cannonball, Adelaide, John Coltrane, two dueling saxophone. Like, I felt how he wrote about that recording. So I was just... Were you riffing? No, I knew what he... He just knew exactly what he was feeling.

What he wrote, I already knew Tony Williams was on drums at 18 years old. I already knew that Bill Evans was one of only two white guys Miles Davis ever worked with. And the other guy was Gil Evans. So why didn't get that part? Because after I... Right. After... Why aren't you him?

After... When I read it, there was a weird quiet. And then Jim Brooks goes, what about sugar? And I was like, whoa. I don't know why I did Owen Wilson for Jim Brooks. I don't know. It's like, I can do that role, but I know this. I know this kind of blue, but like, that's what you do.

You move your jaw like Drew Barrymore. Now I can do it better. It's like I know my nose is like larger than loose. It looks like a penis. It kind of does. I was thinking about it. I don't know. That's really.

Anyway, I'm just, when you see me in a movie, you feel good about it. I fucking love that guy. I love Owen Wilson. So I was like, I'm not going to go in the hallway to learn Bob Sugar and come back. Because that's, I knew. That's meaty. Yeah. That's the antagonist of the whole thing.

So they were like, yeah, we'll see you next week. So they gave me like a week. And you had it down. Bro, you could have woken me up and just said any line in any of the, in any of the sides. That prepared. Yeah. And I did it in Australian. I did it in gay.

I did it Southern. I did it. Like I just, I'll do it in different dialects so it just becomes so. Wow. And did you know you got it when you were done? Don't we all?

But I feel that way when I don't get it too. When I, I'll kill something and be like, and then I let it go. I always throw the sides away before I leave the room. I'm done. Yeah. I know I did everything.

I feel good. I, if they don't, I know. got it but i you know how many things do you get in your life so they didn't tell you in the room that they called your agent called you uh they brought me back to read with tom and i was like nervous no because you've been reading with casting directors who are like oh my god i can't believe you know i mean we need them they're like the gatekeepers but you finally you're you play golf and finally

you get to play with the club pro wow it's like this is going to be great and he was nice as shit he tried to kill me with it. It was no like, it's all right. It was like, if you want to do this, we're doing, like, we could have shot that. To toe to toe. Oh. And there was a moment where I have two lines back to back. I came here to fire you, Jerry, and there's that weird long pause.

And I go, it's real. You should say something. And I waited so long. In my mind, I'm like, I wonder if he thinks I forgot my lines. And then I could feel they probably, they're wondering if I forgot my line. And I could just feel the balloon getting bigger and bigger. And then I went, it's real. You sit.

And they were like, everybody was like relieved. I was just staring at Tom Cruise. And then Tom was like, great job, man. It was great. And I don't remember how long after that. I didn't get in the room. No. The only movie I got in the room was Mafia, where Jim Abrams.

I only work for a guy's name Jim. When Jim Abrams goes, so you want to do it? I'm like, yeah. And they go, we can pay it. this much and i was like yeah that's good yeah that rarely happens 14 million no yeah comical i i've i've never gotten a job in the room but i've gotten fired in the room like what well no i didn't get the i didn't get they hired you then they fired you no nothing uh what's his name who directed uh what's the movie speller no what's the movie with sydney lament now you're killing me uh

you know they go and they can't remember what happened the night before all the guys hangover hangover so i went it would have been great in so i went in for hangover and i fucking just to play the guy nobody knows no the guy with ed helms character oh and i went in there and he goes the director what's his name talk phillips he goes i've never had this before he knows he knows ryan knows things he goes you're great and i go wow thank you and he goes but you're the other character and we've already cast that and i go oh he goes but great job man that was fucking awesome they probably had an offer out to ed helms already i think ed helms they said walked into the room and he took out his tooth and that you do that

too no how'd you lose your tooth you're talking about i just saw it people are going to see it you You don't have to have that, but you like it for the effect. I have implants, and I just got tired of sitting in the guy's chair. I'm like, just make me a flipper. I can't keep doing this. It's brutal. Next time I get anything done, they're putting me out. Do you always have to clean that?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you always like, what do you got to like, watch those? Do you brush your teeth? Those things you got hands. You got to wash those every day? Yeah. Do you learn lines easily?

Yeah. Easily. Yeah. You don't get nervous? Do you get nervous, like, acting? it's directly related to my level of preparation if I'm completely prepared I get to a level of annoyance

where I'm like let's just do this already like making an amateur fighter wait so long to turn pro and then by the time he's pro he's so pissed off he just murders the first four foot you know what I mean yeah it's like I just know it's like let's go already was Cameron Crow really like complimentary during the movie yeah and he's like a super quiet

low-key positive he's like a breeze he's just a gentle breeze yeah it's just really i read with him for almost famous and i sat there and ran the scene three times with him and he just was like hey man that was really great thank you yeah exactly just like everything's fine and don't don't worry about it he the scene after i fired tom cruise we all we both rushed back to our offices and we're frantically making calls to try to get the clients and so it was written like you know hey how are you did you hear what happened to mcguire and then he just kept it rolling and he goes like he was never in a hurry there was never like we got to get this man it was just the camera we're still rolling and he'd go more money more endorsements and i'd go more money more endorsements

He goes, I go, more money, more endorsements, more money, more endorsements, more endorsements, more endorsements, a thousand channels, you want every one of them. He would just like put a pencil up to his mouth. A thousand channels, you want every one of them. It's a new millennium. And I'd be like, and then he, like, hands- Are you good, like when people yell shit to you? Oh, I wish I could always act like that. I'll literally say to a director, just give me, if it's not, something's not working. I'm not being a dick at all. It's like, say the line. Give me a line reading. I love it. say that. Say the same thing. Like when I loop, I go when you do ADR after the fact, I can't watch

myself match my lips. It's like, let me just listen to it. I'm a good mimic. You are, dude. You do so many impressions. I mean, we would do dueling walkins. We would do, I mean, you do everything. You have a really good ear. I was trying to do Dave Batista for the first time yesterday. Wow. I know. I don't even know if you, you know what he sounds like. He's like, yeah, well, thanks a lot. I appreciate that. That's also like kind of Liam Neeson. Every impression has a family. Yeah, that's in the Liam Neeson's like... Like Colin Quinn, Harvey Keitel... This next

part is very difficult. Yeah. They're going to take you. Yeah. No, but... But you're in the family. But you're in the family. I could just... Yeah, I could just pick him up. Let me do that. Like Colin Quinn is really also Harvey Keitel. It's very similar. The eyebrow... Look, I understand. You're super fucking pissed.

That's great. Joe, I don't know what you know, but he's a good kid. he was shot in the gut that's perfect I don't care how mad you are at me that's not half as mad as daddy's gonna be at us let's move some cars it looks like Sam's hot car you know what who am I looking

you know what realm that is in Chris Penn Chris Pan he would do this thing in in he's just gonna decide out of the fucking blue why don't you tell me would really happen

what the hell for that lump of shit is LAPD Joe. I'm a cop. Larry, stop pointing that gun at my daddy. That's so good. You got, you remember that? Dude, it's so good. Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and t-shirts. Warning, bombas are so absurdly comfortable you may throw out all your other clothes.

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so you don't have to um i don't know how many times we talk about this but like Like, you know, you got it and they helped you in so many ways. And with these subscriptions that you think are like, oh, it's a one month subscription for free and then you pay, well, we forget. We want to watch a show on some streamer and then we forget and now we owe $200 by the end of the year. Yeah. They're there to make sure those things don't happen.

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Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum in the survey so they know that I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show. S&L, you wrote a freaking memoir, gasping for airtime. I mean, it says in the title, gasping for airtime. Was that whole show just gasping for like anything? Well, for guys like you and me, if you want attention, an ensemble cast with people already entrenched and already stars, it's not, it's not going to go well for you.

if you need that validation constantly. And you wanted it. Well, yeah. I was an alcoholic, drunk, and I was a child. Heter, you're a child. I was a child. Like, well, and I remember Jim Downey saying, well, why don't you go to the writer's offices

and do some of your impressions for them? And I was like, what? Like, you want me to go door to door? And in hindsight, that's exactly what I should have done. Ask for help or give, like, or just walk in and be like, I don't know if you know this, but I do Tracy Morgan

and I like a big girl with a doodle pamper. Do you know him? Cripple girls stay wet. Yeah. I'm not gonna fuck with you, J. Morris. You legendary.

Do you know, I had an offer to work with him many years ago on a show where he was the lead. And I said, no, I couldn't do it because I was doing something else, but I deep down thought

I don't think he's gonna like be on time a lot I just had this It's so racist No I just feel like he's gonna I just felt like

I felt like I don't know how easy he would be to work with Is he easy to work with I never work with him? I just worked with him in clubs Where he was like three hours late Because he's black No

That's what you're saying It's not because he's black Why whoa hey yo No Listen to me. No. No, Shale, you are going to Mitch and Murray. I am going there tomorrow, Schell.

You... Yeah. No, that's Friday. You forgot Tuesday. No, I don't like you, Sheld. No, it's five business days. You see this? Five business days.

Yeah. You counted wrong. You forgot the weekend. Al Pacino. Why do you keep telling him every impression like he's a fucking idiot? He's younger than we are. He's only 33. But he's got that messy hair, beard thing where he's hip.

He's got 36. He's very smart, though. The thing about, um, uh, SNL. Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross is Al, Alec Baldwin's part isn't in the play.

I just came from downtown. I just came from Mitch and Murray. I told them to do a solid end to fire your fucking asses. Oh, do I have your attention now? Uh, third place. You fight.

So that's not in the play. And then when they filmed the movie, it was like, like 80 minutes, which is not long enough to put in a theater. So David Mamet, my hero is just like, I'll be right back and just writes this part. Then they go to shoot the part and they do it like once or twice through and he goes, Roma would never sit through this. I'll be right back. And then he writes Roma out. So that's why it starts. Is everybody here? He goes, everybody except Roma. I'm going anyway. Like he's like he can't hold. Alec Baldwin. I had no idea.

Alec Baldwin, like, can't hold it in anymore. I can't wait to tear these guys in the asshole. He's so great. Every actor in that, what's his name who's like the guy he rich? I used to sell. Yeah, it's a tough racket. That little fucking thing he does at the end? Who's the actor who's like, I'm the bombardier.

I'm the bombardier. Jack Lemon? No. My wife, she's going to be really. David Price? Is that who it is? The British is British. Yeah, but he's great.

That's when Petino's like, oh no. You didn't count Friday. You forgot. It's a fucking Jewel. Are you going to sit there the whole time and not say nothing with your yellow legal pad? Who is that? I thought his name was Jimmy. I wish I could do a Buccino.

How do you do it? All train compartments smell vaguely as shit. I can't do it. How do you do it? Oh, big. Oh, train compartments smell vaguely. That's hard. That's in the Tracy Morgan area family.

Yeah. We're in that family now. Everybody, I'll do Al Pacino doing Tracy Morgan. everybody got pregnant I like a big girl with a doo-doo pamper can you can you do Clint Eastwood I do a story about him

I worked with him do it well I just here's my throat I just remember him going Michael I just want to say that he gave me a fantastic audition and if you do that in the in the movie I'll be very happy oh that's the worst thing

is it no that's the worst thing to tell a guy like me I was so nervous that's almost as bad as just be yourself well i was there's a scene where i'm supposed to like really be up to cry and i'm like it's the first thing i'm doing what movie did you do it was called midnight in the garden good and evil and he and he sees that i'm kind of i have headphones on i'm listening like old songs that my mom used to listen to and trying to get emotional and feel it i'm a young actor i'm trying to do anything to get the emotions out and he comes over and sits next to me and just goes pretends he's crying he's like and i go what are you doing and he

goes well i'm just trying to light me up a little bit and he goes just take your time let it happen naturally and uh let me know when you're ready and he walks off and i take a beat and i look up and i see him and i go like that and he goes jack jack rolls a camera camera rolls everybody starts moving no action right into me get he goes well how did you feel i go i felt i felt i felt pretty good how did you feel he goes felt great you want another one i go unless you do he's like we're good let's move on that was my first take it well yeah wow he was so sweet though never says action never says action whenever you guys are ready whenever you guys are so i got off easy me and matt damon in um hereafter here after he goes let me give you some advice bro you enjoy it because it's going to be over so

fast the way he works i'm like all right so we got to get off an elevator and there's a steady cam walking backwards and we walked down a hallway and i'm explaining to him like these are our new offices look i'm like so he's like you get one take famously right the steady cam guy walked into a wall like three times so i was completely off took and those are his guys you know he only works with that crew all the time you ever see him mad yeah oh yeah so all right uh he asked me once would you like to join me for a checklist of oaken beer i was like no i don't drink he goes well then i guess you're done for the day and then he comes up to me the next day he goes i love it my problem was never booze or drugs my problem was always p u ss why did he say that

and i was like okay he should have said come again wow really he did he said that to you U.S.S. Y. That sounds like Clint Eastwood. Right there? Yeah, that's pretty good. He, uh, do you do Clint Eastwood? I do a little bit of Clint East. Since you did it to me with the Chris Pan, I thought I'd give it back to you. Um, last comic standing, you created. Co-created. How did that, how did that come to you? What happened? Uh, Peter Engel, who created Saved by the Bell, said, I have this great idea. That's how he talks. Yeah. Be weird if, no. Be weird if I was just making an accent. He came up to me and goes, say, man, you cool? That's kind of weird. He came to me with this idea for a show. I think it was called comedy condo. And I was like,

I think you're close, but I don't think you're quite there yet. So I basically wanted kind of like the real world or big brother, but with comics, because when I hang out with comics, it's the best. And if I was forced to live with comics, and then the only outlet was to say, I know I'm funnier than Michael and then we go on stage and then a third entity the audience actually votes so it's nerve racking Jesus yeah so we got it to that and then when they took the comics out of the house I bowed out costing myself millions of dollars is that true well yeah I could have just you just didn't like that I don't want to host you know star search or even at the improv I want to but you're still an EP still get money yeah just not millions yeah um

Now, we talked about Jeannie a little bit, but how did you meet her? I interviewed her when I had a sports talk radio show. I interviewed her on the phone, and I was like, I think I'm getting some vibes here. Like, total main. Really? Oh, yeah. I'm nuts. I knew I made her laugh.

And I knew my show and my interviewing style was not what she was used to. And that's imperative, by the way. Making them laugh? I mean, I don't know. You know what's funny? What is? Making them laugh? Making them laugh.

During sex. well that's easy until they fart yes that's not funny but making i was going to say you making her laugh i think that's what she loves is laughing laughter and then i'm like well she was with phil i don't know great guy i don't know how funny phil was prop act but so you a lot of props so did you call her did you get in touch with her so i slid onto the twitter dms and invited her on the more stories podcast. And she agreed. I had left my wife. I'm going through a divorce. I'm staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel. And when she texts me, okay, I'm on my way. I realize I'm in a hotel room with a bed and a chair. This is not a good look. So I went downstairs and got like this massive

suite quickly. You did. Yeah. Because I can't enter. We're going to sit on the bed. Yeah. No good. And then she came. And when I went to get her at the elevator, the elevator door opened and it was like slow motion it was i actually had love it for a sight and she felt the same way no no no she saw her her version of it is she saw me then i invited her to watch me do stand up at the improv i'm like if i could just get her to watch me do stand up you know and you bombed no no no no way dude but i when i i don't like having things in my pockets like right now it's making me crazy when i'm on stage or talking i i hate so i go on stage and i had like a can of chewing tobacco, my keys, my wallet, my phone, some cash. So as I'm talking in the first

six minutes, I just keep taking different things out of my pocket and sending it on the piano. And you're aware of it. Well, yeah, I just, like, I don't, it's not a good look. Yeah. Having like big bulky stupid pockets while you're going to talk for an hour. But you know, people are just watching him. What is he doing? And she saw that and she goes, her exact words are, oh, he's a mess. So women love a fixer up her, I guess. and that's what you are I'm all fixed up I'm fixed up

you fixed up no who is this guy I'm a work in progress who is he who's this guy are you fixed Ryan who's the guy on my left

your right your son fuckhead that he is that bitch who a girlfriend they took my narcotics that's good now I know you know where they are you ever watch those nature shows

you ever see the one about the lion dude that was in the movie I was in huge lion He don't want to move. The lioness messing with him. The hyenas. Making trouble. Cubs.

Making trouble. You know what's great about that speech? What? What is it? Poolhole millionaire? Paul junkies. I was in there. I was one of the leads into it.

Pool hall junkies? Yeah. That entire speech is whispered. All of it. Don't get until one day that lion gets up and tans their shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind. Every once in a while, you're going to show the jackals. My hyenas.

And that's the same read as this one. watch it is the jackals don't just beat him kick his ass i'm gonna go on the other room how do you know that because i'm obsessed with christopher walking and great writing you know i always say that i'm gonna go in the other room it's one of the hardest things ever i'm gonna go in the other room you come out when you're ready you're right you nailed it that's it and you know they did that on one take he just had it he mars who directed it i remember one day i wasn't oh no i was there the god of war and we're all mars we're all standing there the whole crew everybody and walkin's been in his trailer for a couple hours just taking time for myself no he's we're not ready

for him finally walks out and says this is day one he's supposed to work he says maz today's my last day turns around walks out mars goes oh fuck oh fuck uh i'll be right back and he's ran out of the room to talk to walking and he got him was like listen to starts my first movie and it's things are taking along we're going to get you in there and but he was like he just very subtly today's my last day that's that was a perfect walking was it was incredible that was incredible I always say there's not many people that can do walking right because I was doing it when you did it everybody was calling me going dude there's another guy that could do walking it was you like Spacey was I was doing it before Spacey you were just

Spaces is too rhythmic. It makes too much sense. Yeah. It follows a meter that's easy to follow. It's the subtleties. You got to go. It's a logarithm. Not an algorithm.

It's, yeah, he does that because I worked with him and he, and it's very much like, hello, little man. But he do these. He did this. Private one night. A man he never met. You said it, Joe. Bet it all. He does these weird.

thing. I just love him. You ever work with assholes? You ever work with assholes? Ontario, the wait is over. The gold standard of online casinos has arrived. Golden Nugget online casino is live. Bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class gaming experience right to your fingertips. Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting, signing up is fast and simple. And in just a few clicks, you can have access to our exclusive library of the best slots and top-tier table games. Make the most of your downtime with unbeatable promotions and jackpots that can turn

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Tim's new scrambled egg loaded croissant. Or is it croissant? No matter how you say it. Start your day with freshly cracked scrambled eggs loaded on a buttery, flaky croissant. Try it with maple brown butter today at Tim's at participating restaurants in Canada for limited time. why'd we stop talking about walking who gets tired of that i know but do you ever work with any assholes that you had like kind of had to talk with or no not really no nobody on set you're like you know that guy's an asshole or that actress she's really uh she's paining the ass no

not really i mean i got to take it if i have a problem with anybody i got i'm 50% of it right michael's like who are you no sometimes you yeah i know god this intervention man uh the walk at high something i wanted to tell you about that. About walking? Oh, I had to cry in Suicide Kings. Oh. I had to cry. That's great. Like a little baby. I spend my days surrounded by these two morons, things to do in Denver when you did. It's so good. And I'm like, I'm trying to cry. I'm thinking on my dead grandfather, my cousin that got run over. Like, I'm just, and I look at Sean Patrick Flannery. I go, how do you do it? Because he was just, how do you cry? And he goes, I, you just believe this.

shit until it's sad. And I was like, oh, that's way better. Instead of thinking about stuff that's not here, like, I'm going to believe that here is so sad. It makes me cry. And also the David Mamet thing is, well, if you don't cry, that guy didn't cry. Like, it's just, just take the, like, because you're either thinking, wow, I'm not crying yet, or wow, I'm really crying, which means there's no, there's nothing being connected. So anyway, I'm, I'm like hyping myself up to cry and okay we're rolling hey j what what's the name of the girl who plays the nanny i go frandresher action i would like to bang her and then you have to cry did you cry sure of laughter i just did this like i just did the i just watched the thing uh nicholson uh it was a clip and

Nicholson with the director, I forgot the director's name, but he goes, you know, I guess I have to get into it. He's like, Wendy, darling, he does this whole thing, you know, and he's like, well, I have to cry in the scene and I'm not going to do it, you know, and he's doing this. And the director's like, I need you to be emotional. And he's like, I don't think I should cry here. I'm not going to do it. And they're like, he gets the crew, everybody's out except the boom guy with the microphone and the camera and he's got the camera and he's got the monitor and the director everybody's gone except the actor and nicholson yeah that was on uh yeah he was like sitting on a park or something yeah and he just doesn't look at nicholson he goes action and you know nicholson starts to break down he's like yeah well i just well is it you know when he starts crying his thing and then afterwards he says to him he says well how was he goes i actually

He goes, I didn't see it because I could, I fucking finally do this thing and you don't even watch me, you know. Doesn't seem like a nice guy. Nicholson, I think he was probably really easy in the shining days and the early days. And then I bet he was just like, apparently he has to powder his nose still or he'll die. So he probably still does it because if you stop now at this age, you can have a heart attack. It's like, all of a sudden you stop smoking, you get cancer. Can you do Nick Cage?

I've never tried. That's the one I always wish. do that's it really no that was not that wasn't that it that was pretty it i'm jay by the way oh no that was that was great i swear but it comes and goes it comes that's hard that's the hard part if it comes and goes you never have the confidence to just bring it out it's like you're kind of bringing out your broken toys like this one kind of work can you do malcovitch i wish i could i could do a little i want i wish bill hater remember remember when he says i wish you were bill hater remember Me too. I love him. Can you get him on the podcast? I wish. Mine are yours. Yours. You got to come on mine. I will. In the line of fire, which is one of my favorite movies. Frank. His name is. Yeah, Frank. Clint is what goes. He's on the phone with Malcovich. You know this one. And he says, you have a rendezvous with my asshole, motherfucker. And then Malcovich says, no, what you couldn't possibly know, Frank, is that they sent my friend.

my comrade in arms to my home to kill me. I never lied to you, Frank, and I never will. That's very good. Something like that. No, that's right there. I like when Bill Hader was doing it with him. And he goes, I don't sound anything like that. He goes, that's exactly what you sound like.

No, that's exactly how you sound. You do this whole thing. And the guy married to Maggie Gyllenhaal? What's his name? It's like an Icelandic name. Ryan? i don't know is that a scars guard or something yeah one of them gregory scars guard yeah large larsson magnus magnus and said uh phil scars guard the trick to that impression is act like english

is your second language and you're you're you're now it's like this i'm thinking of that while i'm doing it like if you if you're yeah why did we just join a british band what was that i thought no mate here's my gary olbin let's not be boring um you want him to be a pauper you know it's It's funny as I did an English accent for this audition for a voiceover. That made me very happy. For a voiceover. And my agent says, yeah, don't do the British anymore. And I go, I know.

I've been there. I can do a little Gary Oldman. Like, I'm going, I'm really going to wreck it. And they're like, yeah, do it without that. When you're dealing in an industry like this, you've got off a great ego. Do him in, uh, in Francisville. True romance. Girl on that TV.

I mean, it's practically related. Who the fuck are you? you just been clacking me you just been clocking yeah what is he says is it white boy day he's oh man here this i'm here to see alabam he's like what do i don't remember it's so ridiculous like the balls to pull that off it's my wife it's like what that makes this practically related yeah anyway this is i can't believe it's been an hour listen this is called shit talking with j more this is a rapid fire these are my top tier patrons patron dot com slash vergo here we go Raj, tell me about a recent time

a friend did something special for you. Who's Raj? Raj is a patron who supports the podcast. Oh. Oh. Something special. It happens kind of every day in sobriety. That sounds like hooty-futie.

I remember when I had 90 days. I took a 90-day chip at a meeting and I started crying. And then that night I went to a meeting in the Palisades and a guy there took a piece of white. The guy that sets up the room just took a piece of white paper and put it on the chair where I always sat. And just a magic marker, it said, JJ, 90 days. And I was like, this is amazing.

That's an act of kindness. Yeah, that was a blink of an eye three years and ten months ago. I did. Don G., what are the pros and cons of acting versus stand-up? Stand-up, I control all the variables, and I'm out of there in 50 fucking minutes. There's no waiting around. Your special was longer than that. Yeah, but when I'm on the road, I got to do two shows, so it's like, let's go.

Boom. Leanne, what and who makes you laugh? My sons make me laugh. I make myself laugh. I think that's important. My dad says if you laugh at your own jokes, you're a moron, though, that's what he told me as a kid. I'm totally moron.

It's my last name for crying out of loud. When a fat woman tries to get out of her car and her titty hits the horn and it scares her. That makes me laugh. Kaylee Sue, you're giving 24 hours to do whatever the hell you want without any consequences. What's the plan? I'm just going to take a nap. Cicely, what is the best life advice you'd ever receive, you ever received? I don't know if I ever got, like, life advice from anybody of you?

Yeah. Like, I have no memory of, like, let me tell you something, kid. My best therapist, psychiatrist, he said to me, goes, Jewish? I don't know. Okay. But he says, you know, I'm not. I think when you're able to really love someone and allow someone to love you, that's when you'll be at your happiest.

That's beautiful. And I cried. I was like, wow, how am I going to be loved? Because when you get sober, they love you until you love yourself. Like they just keep like, wow, I'm so glad you're here. And they mean it. You're not with a woman right now? I've been dating a lady yeah and she's uh she's incredible she's you know i'm the closest to me

i've ever been with someone else and you're probably meeting you for the first time though and it's a little scary yeah i'm like you know this guy you want to be with this guy like this is like but the guy whatever guy you were just pointing at is not the guy she's with it's your narration since DNA up until that moment and it's not accurate you're a bad narrator that's the best life advice I ever got. Alan Gutman said we're, we are bad narrators. That's that's

the second best advice ever. If I go to South Boston and I meet an old timer and I tell them I know Joey McIntyre from new kids on the block and they're going to go ah fucking Joe I remember fucking Joey hey fucking but look at a face I'm making

Joey McIntyre is a happily married man with many many children he's success he's not ah you know yeah but those guys got into that kid when he was like six seven and eight and they made an indelible dent in the in that psyche where he can't i don't know why i'm talking about joey macinty but you know what i mean like you michael there's people along your with there's bullies guys guys that bring me into the woods just to fucking beat me up and i would willingly follow them into the woods or it'd be worse like those guys made dense in this. I became a dented can. And that's, that's how I feel is that. But I am not

that. Yeah. Like the guy my wife loves isn't the guy I wake up thinking I am and how I perceive something. I'm, that's why I call Cowboy Dan every morning. I will always view myself through the lens of self-seeking, selfish, fearful, and victim. Or, or that's how I'm always, I'm incapable of looking at myself objectively. I call another guy in the morning that's walked me from when I was broken up until the man I am with you now who saw me grow and become this walking man and taught me to live like a good man. And that guy looks at me objectively and goes, I don't know if that's a good idea, dude.

Or it's not about you, dude. It's not about you. Go help somebody else. Wow. So that guy, you go, who's going to love this? I have, I, J.J. have no idea who that guy is. I see this guy that I'm always happy when I see him. And I can't imagine anybody has a negative feeling around you because you're just a positive light of a man. So there's no way. Can I borrow him? Who's that? Dan.

Yes. Oh, I'd love to. He's the best. You want to hear a great cowboy dance story? Yes. We're at Tampa Airport at 6 a.m. Everybody's just hung over, crushed. and they walk this old black man in a wheelchair and they put him right next to Cowboy Dan and Cowboy Dan goes, were you here for business or pleasure? Guy's like old. And he goes, business,

what do you do for 11? I'm a singer. Have I ever heard of you? I'm Johnny Mathis. Oh. You ever play China? He goes, yes, I have. You ever sing a Chinese?

It's fucking six. It's still dark. What are you talking about? He goes, you ever sing in Chinese? And Johnny Mathis goes, I have. He goes, let me hear it. 605 a.m. I'm two seats from Johnny Mathis going,

He shall fight for Chinese. No. Yes. Johnny Mathis is singing. In Chinese at the gate. I get up to take a leak on the airplane. I come back. I see Johnny Mathis.

He still sings like an angel. He looks at me like, like you're with that guy I love. How cool Johnny Mathis, too. Yeah. Most people would be like, get the fuck. What are you doing? I don't have type of this. Oh, Cowboy Dan is where he wears you down.

No, but I'm saying, no, no, he wears you down. No, no, he wears you down. I've seen him turn. He just does not. He has no, like he's on the spectrum where it's like he has no idea. He's annoying this shit out of you. And eventually he just starts smiling and talking to him. If Taylor R, if you can go back to any time in your life.

Very quickly, you got off that topic of you being a bad narrator, I know. It makes you on control. No, I took it in. Okay. I really took it in. What does Taylor wants? What was it? Well, if you can go back to a place in your life that you were really happy.

Jersey Shore. eight, nine, ten years old, had my own rowboat. I go out crabbing by myself and I bring dinner back for my whole family. Nice sunburn. Where they put sunscreen on you. You brought dinner for your whole family back as an eight-year-old, nine-year-old? Absolutely. That's pretty impressive.

Those were the days that your mom put sunscreen on you because you're burnt. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. I actually put you to bed with copper to note number eight. Tell me about the podcast. More stories. More stories. M-O-H-R stories. It's available everywhere.

Everywhere. Been doing it for 10 years. What are some of your favorite interviews? Perry Farrell was great because his wife asked if I could drive him home I was like yeah I could do that and I love Jane's addiction dude so you know Perry Farrell now I saw him I'd go up to you wouldn't be like hey what's up Perry I could text his wife yeah uh Steve Gorman drummer for the black crows was great Bootsie Collins had their best thing ever on my podcast the single best thing I ever heard

on my podcast he was talking about when he was playing with James Brown at 18 years old and they hadn't been paid yet. And his manager says, you go in there and tell him you want $300 a week, says me. And James Brown's like this scary guy, you know, and he goes in. James Brown's in a robe. He's all coked out. He's like, wait, well, man. And he goes, oh, so-and-so told us, you know, we should ask you for $300. He goes, he told you that? I'll give you $350. And he goes, and back then, it's like $68. He goes, and back then that was like a million bucks. And then he looks down and he looks back up at me and goes it was a million bucks like he was fighting tears and i'll never i will never forget wearing a nascar jacket and the big star glasses that's what it

meant to them it was but that's what it meant to you right yeah back in the day when i would drive six hours to get a $50 bill when i was still in high school that was a million i remember like thinking a hundred thousand dollars you're set for life yeah oh i thought if i make a 100. I've been from small town in Indiana. If I make 100,000 dollars, I've made it. I'm done. I'm retiring. It never right. Wait till you have kids. You'll be a great dad. Don't say that. I'm sorry. You'll be a terrible dad. Thank you. Thank you. That scares me. I'm a little too old for that. I think when you have kids. What are you? Forty? A 52. Yeah. Yeah. Much at an older age, aren't chances that, you know, there could be complications. Chances are. Chances are. Not

you you're you're strong like a bull strong like a bull so how do they do these questions am i leaving money on the i don't make any money for my podcast but you got this big mansion it isn't a mansion the first thing you said to me when i walked in i know you have a much bigger house than this yeah that's true i live in an apartment but i don't understand that so you have it's a nice apartment it's a townhouse i'm on the first and second floor with my son and then genie's in the apartment above us so you have three adjacent apartment well the first two floors is one apartment with its own garage that's where i raised my son one of my two sons and then genie's but it's a beautiful apartment i'm sure yeah but i thought for sure you'd have a house i used to have a house do you want to have a house or

you like having a nice big apartment i know you should it's nice you don't carry either way that doesn't matter to you walk to starbucks every day put the dogs in the stroller is good for you. Life's great. It's a simple life. There's not a lot. I like this. You're a big thinker. You're a, you're a future tripper. Like, oh, but what if this, what if, right? Doomsday. Yeah. I'm just, just not a lot going on up here. I got like two Legos that kind of float. And when I have an idea, they click together. And then I'm like, oh, that's good. That's enough. I keep index cards next to my bed or in the drawer. And then I go before I go to sleep like what do I got to do tomorrow I'm gonna get up at five I do like a little itinerary

and I just don't have to worry about it I like this I love that I love that we're friends I do I love that you know unequivocally that I'm I think you're fantastic I means the world to me and I wish I let you up the hook sooner that you're on the defensive well the fact that you came on the podcast I was like all right cool but maybe he's just promoting something he doesn't want really oh yeah I would no no but this this was really a joy and I I appreciate you being so open and honest about everything. And I think it really helped me. There's so many things you said that just really impacted me.

So you're a bad narrator. I'm a bad narrator. I was just going to say that. You have empirical data to disprove however you're negatively thinking about yourself. Yeah. You're selfish. No, you're not. You just did this for this person.

This is for this person. You're this. No, you're not. Always have like answer your thoughts. Yeah. But at some point in your life, that served you. It just doesn't serve you anymore. It's like we're going to run the ball in the first half.

And then you're getting your down like 40 nothing. It's like, why are you still running the ball in the second half? This isn't working. This isn't working. You're miserable. Yeah, but they would have thrown you. She really did a fucking number on you. Look at you.

You fucking started her and pricking. You're fucking, you're like funny? What the fuck? You're fucking brick you. I love you, man. I love you, buddy. Thank you, everybody. You're awesome.

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Canada Life, insurance, investments, advice. He kept it real. He really does. Yeah. He's one of those guys where you're not going to get it. He's not a bullshitter. He'll have fun. He'll laugh. But if you ask him something, he's going to tell you. Yeah. Isn't that what you got? Yeah. It was a lot of a lot of bits, a lot of fun, a lot of good stories. And then and then every and then some out of nowhere, he just drops like a nugget of wisdom. You're like, oh, yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. It was like fun, fun. Oh, shit. Oh, that got real for a second. I got real. So thanks for keeping it real, Jay. I appreciate you. Love to Jeannie. love that woman she's extraordinary i know you know this uh thank you for being here today and supporting this podcast again if you want to join patreon patreon dot com slash inside of you and support the podcast give back um that would help and uh why don't we uh get into the top tiers these are

the folks that really give back and um this combination of top tiers and how deep is your love tears if you want to join that tier too some really cool perks here we go nancy d little lisa Eukiko, Brian H. Nico P. Rob L. Robbie. Jason, Dreamweaver, Sophie's choice. M. Raj C. Jennifer N. Stacey L. Jamal F. Janelle B. Mike and L. Don Supremo. 99 more. Santiago M. Maddie S. Kendrick F. Belinda N. Dave Hall. Dave H. Brad Day. Dave H. Ray H. Tabith. Tabitha T. Tom and Talia M Betsy D Rian and C Michelle A, Jeremy C

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We love you. Thanks for listening. Thanks for supporting this podcast. And from the Hollywood Hills in Hollywood, California, I'm Michael Rosenbaum. He is Michael Rosenbaum. I'm Ryan Thames.

That's right. He is Ryan Taylor's a little way over the camera. We love you. And truthfully, this is true. Trueism here. Be good to yourself. All right. Just be good to yourself.

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