Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Jennifer Love Hewitt Returns

Episode Date: June 2, 2020

Jennifer Love Hewitt (9-1-1, Ghost Whisperer) returns this week to talk about her journey through self love and the importance in taking care of yourself during times like these. Jennifer opens up on recent anxiety attacks and lingering fears that have stemmed from close family loss. We also take the time to reflect on her long standing and successful career in Hollywood and how her mission in life is to strive to do things that support the things she desires. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Light the path to a brighter future with stellar lenses for myopia control. Learn more at SLOR.com. And ask your family eye care professional for SLR Stellist lenses at your child's next visit. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. How are you guys? Plugging away? Are things getting a little better? I hope so.

I hope you're, you know, you're doing your thing, doing your routine. I was thinking, last week's episode I thought it was dynamite. I thought Dr. Drew was terrific. I hope you enjoyed that. You'll learn a lot. I mean, he gives some valuable tips. And I find it really humble, humbling, humble. I find it nice.

When a doctor as establishes, you know, Dr. Drew's pretty established. I mean, he's got a history of, you know, success. And, uh, but when he opens up about his anxiety, that was, that was really cool. And, uh, it was just nice. It was nice to hear. I think I got a lot of great comments about it, how it would help people just by taking more vitamin D. Oh, man. I'm a big fan of the movie, the Warriors.

It's a horror movie. No, sorry. It's a freaking action movie. It's a, it's a gang in New York. I don't know why I was thinking horror, because I love, horror so much. But it's my dad and I, it's our favorite movie. In fact, for Father's Day, you know, I got him a bunch of warrior stuff. Well, I was looking online for 20 years I've been looking for an original Warriors vest, you know, one of the vests that the Warriors wore

in the movie, an original. I wanted one. I knew it was impossible. I've been looking for one for, I don't know how many years, but, and there was one available worn by this, the, uh, the actor was David Harris. Cochise was the character. Love that character. Had the bandana. He was on the couch with the Lizzie's. Remember? I don't know if you saw it. But you should watch it. It's classic. It's Cole. It's awesome.

But here it is. If you can't see it. If you're listening, you'll have to go home and watch. But it's an original dude. It says it says Cochise on the top right here near the collar. It's phenomenal. I'm ecstatic about it.

I just wanted to tell you that. So there was some good news. You know, a lot of great guests coming up, and I appreciate you listening, trying to build this listenership. And I notice when people are a fan of someone's that come and they listen to that person, and you know, you try to get them to stick around. Hopefully they'll like the interview enough to subscribe and listen. So when you guys write reviews and you email your friends and text your friends and

tell them to subscribe, it really helps. All that helps. I know I talk about it every episode, but you have to. if you want more people to listen. Or maybe it turns people off. I don't know. Rob and I did a stage it last week. I hope you enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun. We performed some new songs, some covers,

a couple left-on-lural songs for the band. By the way, the left-on-loral album, our album from November that came out of Still Around. You could buy the album on Inside of You Online Store. You could listen to it on Spotify. You could buy it on iTunes. It's all great. And, you know, we play songs here at the end of the episode,

each time Ryan plays something. No news right now in Camp Rosie, my summer camp, we're going to do a Halloween thing on October 31st, adult summer camp. We'll see how this whole COVID thing goes. July 2nd live podcast was Zach Levi at the North Door in Austin.

Two shows. We're waiting to hear what happens with that. So hold on to your horses. You know, I want to say a big shout out. I always give a shout out at the end of the episode in the outro to all my patrons, but I want to say hello to all my patrons for inside of you,

who keep this show going, period. And also my new Patreon, exclusive, a horror club, if you want to call it, with John Heater and I, Napoleon Dynamite, we have a horror club where we watch movies and everybody watches with us, and it's a blast.

So it's called Where Have All the Good Horror Movies Gone? You can find that on Patreon and join us, and it's really fun. I think John and I have a really fun dynamic, and I think you're going to dig it. We message everyone, and it's a community. It's a book club. I don't like books, but it's watching horror movies.

these instead. Today's guest is one of my favorite of all time. She was on the podcast before. People said when is she coming back? She hasn't really been on video on the podcast. She was just you could listen to her first one, which is awesome. This one I think is even better. We get into it and she opens up more and about her family and her life. And she's not old, but she's been around. People know who she is. And I'm excited to talk with her again, talk to her again. Talk to her again. I can't speak. Maybe I'm just a little nervous. But why don't we get inside of Jennifer Love, Hewitt?

It's my point of you. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. Hi. How are you? I'm just great. How are you? What a terrible way of it.

starting to read hi how are you i am good how are you i'm doing fine it's uh you know it just takes i think i'm starting like it's not like you can ever get used to this but uh i i i the first two weeks i was having anxiety attacks you know me i was having you know not full-fledged because i've been working on myself so you know as long as i just wasn't on my routine so it felt like okay this is going to end this is going to be this is a joke this is going to be a week and then we're fine because who could nobody could have Imagine. There's one of my friends, James Gunn, you know, Guardians of the Galaxy Director, he knew.

Oh, I'm sorry. You just dropped James. I'm going to drop. Here's what you do. Jennifer, you just drop it. When you drop a name, you just have to drive. No, but I remember, like, he was ahead of it. He was way ahead.

And it's just hard for people to believe that early that, okay, this is really the way the world is going to work. And so no one could have predicted this. But, you know, I have to give James credit. He knew early on. And I mean, since May 15th, I've been. Except for three grocery visits. I've been locked up in this house. Since March 50th or May 50?

March. That would have been. That would have really been weird. I've been here for a year. I knew. Gun knew eight months ago. Wow. No, but I'm, I, I, I, it's easy when you, not easy.

It's better when you stick to your routine. If you don't exercise, you're effed. If you don't keep a decent diet, you're effed. If you don't have activities, you're effed. If you don't watch shows, if you just stay in your computer and watch CNN or whatever the hell you watch out there. you're effed you have to change things or you will fall apart yeah i just i've been having a really hard time with the um with the working out part of it because i have to do three and a half or four

hours of school with my daughter every day and then when i'm done with that i have to go do at least a couple of hours with my son and then it's like lunchtime and then i'm just been i've been very um hyper focused on like keeping them okay during this time and my husband okay during this time that I have kind of not been as good to myself. And so this week is like the first week where I was like, you know what, family? I love you guys. I'm going to do everything for everybody,

but I have got to like give myself some space to take care of myself because I was starting to have really bad anxiety attacks again. So I just bought a Peloton bike. It's on its way. I'm going to start doing that, which I'm excited about. Good. And getting some sunshine.

and just trying to, like, just take better care of myself. Yeah, I got one of those, I finally got one of those bikes, an echelon, which is, it's amazing. And it's like you're, you know, you're riding and you're, you're seeing the, you know, I'm in 400th place. This is great. You know, no, I can't increase the speed. I can't. By the way, I never biked in my life. Here's, here's things that I haven't done.

I really never run, ran. I've never ran. I'm not a runner because I play sports and I get bored and also I've had a bad back issue. so running the impact is bad. So I never run, ever. And I've never ridden really bikes, except when I was a kid. So to get on this bike, the first thing I notice is that my ass crack really hurts me. Like when you get on one of those bikes, why don't they make the seats?

I hear that you get used to it. It's like your taint. Can I use the word taint? Yeah. You get used to it, I guess, that area of your butthole or what is that? It's your taint, isn't it? What do you call that? There's got to be a better name than taint.

Taint would be such a great, like, lipstick colors. I'm wearing taint. by Calvin Klein. No, I think that's what it's called. I don't know. So I was never a runner either because I have bad knees together. We're old. And I actually have never learned to ride a bicycle.

What? About me that people don't know. I tried when I was a kid and I had a really bad experience with my stepdad. He didn't mean to, but he kind of made me and Phil. bad and not so bright for not being able to ride a bike and it like completely scarred me so I never got back out of bike again but I just bought myself a Schwinn adult tricycle an adult tricycle three wheels have you ridden it and I've been riding it and I love it and I can't wait to get my training wheels off that would be a fun thing to just like the day that your training wheels come off to be

there to document it well you know what i'll call you will you call me i'll come over i'll just watch oh look little jennifer's taking off her wheels i know i can't wait my kids think it's the funniest thing ever because they both just like power on their vikes but they are so supportive and they root me on and they love that i'm trying and learning something at my very you know old age and it's cute all right jess my assistant goes ask her about her pink hair now i'm colorblind and if you wouldn't have said anything i would have just said oh i would not have noticed i don't have noticed i don't I don't see pink, but it is a little pink, I guess, right? Because that's what you told me.

It's fading. It was bright pink, but it's fading. I like bright pink. I dated a girl. She was a dancer, and she had this really rich pink hair. But it was noticeably. Like, I go, whoa, that's like a, that's like cotton candy hair. And I like it.

I think it's cool. Who's cutting your hair? It looks like you just got a trim to. Who cut your hair at this? Oh, yes, I did. I did cut my hair. Thank you for notice. You cut your own hair, didn't you?

No, I did not. I got my hair cut. Wait a minute. You got your before. Well, it looks freshly cut. Thank you so much. You just seem like you're in a pretty good way right now. I know your Instagram is a pretty dope.

I, in fact, I want to play one, if I may. Sure. Because you're addressing the importance of supporting small businesses at this time, which is vital. You know, all those little places that we like, all these places that we go to, we're not going to go there anymore if we don't support them. And that's just the way it is. I know. It's been really fun, actually. I didn't realize, I guess I just never really thought of them as small business owners,

but I didn't realize how many friends and people that I am close with who have, you know, really built their businesses from the ground up. And it's been really hard to watch them hurt and go through all that they've been going through in this time. And so I just wanted to do something. So, yeah, we started this little, like, Instagram thing called Big Love for Small Business. And I've just allowed them to come on and it's been really great. Like some of them have seen a really, um, a big increase in people like reaching out to them and buying their stuff or supporting them during this time. And, um, you know, I, I just, we see a lot about the bigger businesses on TV. Um, but it's all the small business really that is like the heart of a city, I feel like. I feel like those are the places that means something to people and have your, you know, you've had memories there or you, those are the people that remember like, oh, your son's turning five, right? And you're like, how do you remember that? You know?

and they're just these small business owners who really invest in people and so I just wanted to invest back in them. It's been really, it's been really fun. There's this nice little restaurant called Pache that's in the hills. I was going to ask about Pote. You and I went. You and I were supposed to do this movie that just fell

apart. Oh my God, let's not get into that. Called Sarias for Sissies and it was such a fun script and we would have rained. We got such a great cast involved and then like independent movies, they lose the money and then you fall apart and you smoke a pack of cigarettes and you feel like shit. But Paché you know it's definitely suffering and my buddy che over there it's like you know i think they still

have delivery and they had the best food ever ever the cedar plank fish so you got to order and you got to tell your friends hey try to keep this keep this place going there's places like that all over so i love that you're doing that and have you had breakdowns have you had like a real breakdown like where you're like oh my god that was an ugly one and it was in front of everyone like well everyone meaning your atticus and autumn and your husband yeah i mean i think i said you a text message yesterday saying that. Oh, yeah. With the course of like three hours, I cried. I laughed. I had a dance party. Like I just felt myself sort of short-circuiting. It was like everything that you can feel all

happened at once. Today, if I'm being totally honest, I have been in an anxiety attack since pretty much 8.30 this morning. Did you want to cancel today? So I just did like a little meditation thing before. What do you do? What do you do? I have crystals that really mean a lot to. me that are uh that i just feel like hold good energy and so i usually like lay down and i lay them on my heart um in my chest and my stomach and like one on my head just kind of wherever i'm feeling like the anxiety sort of bubbling up that helps yeah it does for me it does because it just kind of forces me to stay still because they're on me and i don't want them to break and so it just kind of makes me stop and um i don't know i just usually start by like doing like 10 minutes of

just everything that's good in my life and that i'm really grateful for to remind myself that the thing that's like eating at me is smaller than the good. Yeah. So that I kind of like regroup my thoughts, you know? Yeah. But yeah, it's been, it's just a difficult, it's a difficult times. I just miss people, you know? You and I are very similar in that we really enjoy people.

Yeah. And being around people. I think we also enjoy being in our houses and doing our own shit. But, but I miss the, I miss the ability to be around people. Um, and I really hurt for my kids. Like, I just hate watching them not know when they're ever going to see their kids again. And I don't know how to explain it to them. Yeah, I don't know.

I miss my mother-in-law. Um, she's in Maryland and she's like by herself right now. And, you know, it's just hard. It's just a scary, it's a scary time. But then I think about, I think about like us being able to sit here and have this conversation. And we're not doctors and nurses who haven't left like the hospital for 18 hours. Yeah. And also, like, you know, I always.

say this but it's like we're entitled to we can say if we're having anxiety we're you know we're human beings but you know we all you put you put things into perspective you know i was talking to dabe batista another name drop sorry but dave was like you know you put things into perspective it's like you know the homeless just when you think it couldn't get worse for homeless people it does and just all these people that are starving losing their jobs and unemployment rates all it's just and like i'm sitting here going i'm fucking grateful i'm lucky um all i could do is share my podcast and get insight from other people and what they're going through and what they do and for a second I was going to stop you when you said you put crystals on your chest because I sort of wanted to

defend it in a way not that you were being persecuted but you know there's going to be haters out there like oh crystals and these actors and it's like here's what I say fuck off because whatever works for you the proverbial you Jennifer myself I don't care what it is I don't care if it's running naked through a jungle or where having crystals on your chest or meditating whatever it is come out of this more understanding, more accepting, more loving, more like, holy shit, like affection is so important. And we're not, we're not able to do that right now. So I hope that at least we get something because sometimes these feelings of like, you know, when someone dies that you love, that's, you know, like, you know, like, oh my gosh. And then two days later, you're on to the

next thing. People are, it's, it's, it's a femoral, right? It's like, it doesn't last. And I hope this lingers, not to dwell on it, but I hope people just say, gosh, look how lucky we're at, we're at a restaurant having dinner together or we're taking a hike together or we're hugging or effing they had to throw the effing in there of course you did thank you for defending the crystals I appreciate that um I did I when I said it I was like oh great and here are going to be people who are like ooh crystals whatever um crystal mouth the reason that it's a crystal is because they're I mean they're just beautiful I just think they're beautiful I collect them I think they're they're gorgeous I don't keep them on, I don't put them on me as like a, like some far out universe moment. Like, I put them on

me because they are bigger and greater than I am. I am not anything that simple and that beautiful and that like, you know, and it just brings me comfort. And I think they hold good energy for me personally. But, um, but I recommend for anybody, even if you don't want to use Christmas, put teddy bears, put chocolate bars, whatever, whatever you want on your body to make you feel better and breathe through it. All right, hang on, hang on. First of all, is it a, is it taboo to give crystals that you're using to someone else to use? Or should you always give new crystals?

Everyone should have their own crystal. That's their thing. Because I was going to say, A, I'd love for you to either, A, put me in the right direction to get the right crystals or maybe send me some crystals that I could start with, like a crystal starter kit. Or maybe just not crystal math. And B, gosh, I just felt like the name loves crystals. You could just start your own little crystal world. I could start my own crystal. Loves crystals.

happy to send you crystals and I would love to do that and I have lots of amazing places that I can tell you to go and look for them. I don't think that you're supposed to share crystals. I think that they kind of hold your energy. But because I'm starting you off, maybe I will pick one that I really love and like send it to you as a here's some of my energy to start your energy thing. And then you can kind of take it over. That's the thing about you. I don't, if no one knows this about Jennifer Love Hewitt, she was on the podcast before, but now I get to see her face, even though it's Zoom. You are the best-looking Zoom guest I've had so far.

Oh my God, thank you so much. Yeah, you really are. But to a fault, and I know that you could say attest to this, you are one of the most giving people I've ever met. Like everybody I know that, you know, we've talked about in general, or just you give everything to the point where you're so drained. And then sometimes people have taken advantage of it, people in the, whatever in the past, I noticed that about you.

You just, you always want to help and do. you sometimes have to, like you said with the kids, like, guys, I have to start taking care of myself. Oh, yeah. You definitely can exhaust it. I mean, I'm a big believer in that with your time on the planet, you should give everything all you've got anyway, right? Because what good is it for you to keep love or kindness or, you know, anything that could be

valuable to another person? So I'm a big believer. Like, hey, I have it. You want to pick it. Wasn't there a song? Your life better do it, you know? but but I do I do think that people like us um every once in a while do have to set boundaries and say okay I have I'm gonna go back to giving in like 10 minutes but I need I need to like reset

you know I can be selfish too though I can be a selfish person I know what how dare you by the way I know we'll talk about you know fourth season of 911 yeah that's pretty cool it seems like everything you touch it lasts you know your marriage ghost whisper lasted how many years five five and five okay don't get cocky party of five how many years five the client list only two all right you're not a success like i thought um i'm kidding come on nine one one's that no how many people could say they've had series that goes five years five years four years two years i had a series go I was on for seven years So that was great

And then two So seven and two But like you've had some longevity You've had some I really do feel very fortunate for that It's been it's been good But I think people like to work with you Is that true?

Do you have a good reputation? Is there you think you've burned any bridges I'm feeling people are to work with me I'm fun to work with because I'm really a dork So I'm also like a curetaker So I'm always like feeding people And bringing them and then you know Being silly and all of that

even when there's lots of drama happening on camera. I try to make it really fun. But I like working with other people too. Yeah. We're lucky. We are lucky. We're so lucky. I think,

you know, if you think about it, it's everything you do is lucky. You get to, for instance, you take things for granted. It's like going after a hike with your buddy, you're lucky.

I think everything I do after, when we could start doing things again, I want to be look at my friend. I think that's the thing I'm going to do just to remember this. I'm going to look at them after every walk or during them and say, we're really lucky. That's just something I want to continue so you don't forget it. Maybe we start hashtag, we are lucky, just to be able, we hashtag, we are lucky.

Whatever you do, we're lucky. I love it. I'm going to join that. Can we make a t-shirt? Can we? Why don't we do a hashtag, we're lucky? Let's do it. I love it.

Well, thanks for being. I mean, it's not done yet. Oh my God. I was like, really? That's it? That's all you wanted to say to me? No way. No way.

You know, I want to bring up something I know that's really dearity. The first time you came on and you had just lost your mom and you had an anxiety. detect the night before because you're like, oh my God, he's going to bring it up, but I'm going to break down. I can't deal with it. And we got through it and she would have been 75, right? Yeah. In March.

I don't know why, but I just kind of got like I felt that, that emotion in my face and my nose behind my eyes when I just said it. And I don't, you know, how are you holding up? You know, I'm good. I, it's interesting. I feel like every year that it goes on. um i get more gratitude for how much i remember um i think that was my biggest panic in the beginning was oh my gosh is like all this pain going to overtake everything that i remember

about her and am i just going to like one day not remember like am i not going to remember every little you know patch of her face or what it felt like to hold her hand or how funny she was and then when i had kids i had that panic again i was like i have to remember everything about her because this is going to be all they have, you know? And I think what's interesting is that every year that I celebrate her birthday or every year that I celebrate the day that she passed, I remember something, like, extra special about her. And I'm very conscious of the fact that, like, the memories get better.

And I'm able to sit more in the enjoyment of her than in the sadness of her, you know? so I feel lucky for that I feel grateful for that but it is I mean you know during this time I would give anything

to just have her here and talk to her about this crazy world and I had this thought the other night I was like I wonder if she's looking down on us going

wow missed a bullet there what's happening it's crazy how would she have reacted how would she have dealt with this oh my God first of all

she would have had like some she would have by the way Patricia no what what's her name trisha okay I was right I was right I was like shit I feel like she would have had a secret bunker like bill two days after she heard it was even coming and all of us would be in there together it would be like one big party she would have tons of booze and food and she would really like use it as an opportunity to host like the greatest end of the world party ever I feel like that's what she she would have been doing this time and then probably panicking silently. Gosh, it's been a lot. I mean, I mean, you've seen a lot. You've dealt with a lot.

Yeah. You know, I lost my grandfather November and he passed away on my brother's birthday on Thanksgiving. Yeah, no, and I know. And it was definitely the hardest loss. But, you know, it's one of those things where if anybody's lost, everybody's lost someone, or you will, it's life. It's just like the cycle of life. This is just what's going to happen. But with my grandfather with Alzheimer's, I felt like I was losing a piece of him. I was morning almost every every year that went by i was like four years of watching this i was especially at the end in the last couple years i felt like i think i just i felt bad because i was like i want him to go and it wasn't because i didn't love him i was like he would fucking

be he'd scream at us for allowing him to live like this he would not he'd be like what are we doing what is this and i was like god i want to take him to oregon my grandmother would never do it. I would never say it, but I want to take him to Oregon and put him out of his misery and let him just go on the next journey or whatever that is, whatever you believe, because I was like, I love him so much. I can't see. This is not the man I knew and no, you know, so it was very hard for me, but I thought I had grieved. I thought I had those moments of those bouts of crying and emotion. And then all of a sudden, he passed away. And boy, when I, just when you think you're done morning.

You're never done. It was almost like you went from first to six gear in a fucking Porsche. You just jerked you back in your seat and you're like, oh my gosh. And then there with my grandmother, no, this is a reality. I just, my uncle Dave said it. He goes, you know what the worst part? I just can't say hi to him. Just can't say, hey, Eric.

Hey, just can't do, you know what I mean? And that's, that's what's, again, it's like you do get through the pain. You do get through it and you have to just honor them. And by living your life as great as you can, as, as, I believe that. I believe when you're doing all these great things and the small businesses and singing with your husband on Instagram and being a good mom and schooling your kids, she's smiling down. This is like, this is what would make her happy. You falling apart, she'd be like, what the fuck are you doing?

Oh, she would be so mad at me. Oh, yeah. Get up your big girl pants on and like get it together. Yeah, she definitely would. She's all for. She was always for and was the biggest advocate for for just living your best life while you have it. And so I try to do that for her,

and I try to inspire that back to, you know, my kids and my friends and everything. Yeah, it's true. I really think, I feel like, I don't know if you thought this too, but because I have been grieving, for seven years now. I don't know when I ever won't be grieving her,

but I keep thinking of the people who are such a heavy thing to say it, but I keep thinking of the people who are dying right now whose loved ones don't even get to say goodbye. Or can't get in that hospital for that last moment, or can't throw them a funeral, or can't do that. And I just keep thinking, like, my grief is nothing. You know what I mean?

like my grief is nothing compared to that and it's such an extraordinary time in that way we're losing so many people and they're they're going without without that last moment yeah like you can't even go to a funeral people can't go to funerals they can't say in the last dying moment it's hard i couldn't even imagine couldn't even imagine for my grandmother and at the same time you know i'm also grateful that my grandfather isn't around for this yeah in a you know in a home in a memory facility or home or whatever you want to call it but like because i know my grandmother it would destroy her she'd go no i'm going there i'm every day she had to be with him even if he he didn't remember anybody she would be there she didn't care what it was she didn't

want him to let so uh yeah it's tough i'm getting dark um you know you you posted something i think you posted something you said get into the habit of asking yourself does this support the life I'm trying to create? Does this support the life I'm trying to create? So when you say that, is that the work you're doing is that the decision, what decisions? What made you say that? I don't know. I mean, I think that especially as you get older and you like find your tribe, whether that's like your little family that you have, you know, put together and that you add, you know, friends onto or if it's just friends, whatever it is that is like your, your tribe. Then I think you kind of go, okay, so with these people in mind in my life, what is it that I want to do?

Like, what is it that, if it all ended tomorrow, hopefully it won't, but if it all did, what is it that I want to take with me and go, I did that. Like, I did that. I put that out there. I was that to people, you know, whatever it is. And so I do really try right now to, to, like, support the life that I want to create. Like, I really do try to do that. I try to, I want joy.

I want to act because it's part of who I am, and it's what I love to do, and I love to connect with people that way through that camera on that show. However, I can, you know, do that. I want to be a great mom. I want my kids to constantly feel safe and feel joy. I want my friends to feel that I value ad in her life. And I just want to try to,

like live in the good moments and brush off the bad you know like that's just kind of what i do and so i just don't really let anything in my life right now that doesn't support that i just don't um i don't let new people in my life that don't support those ideas i don't spend time on things really that don't support those ideas um and and it it brings clarity like it just i think if you kind of figure out what you really want your life to be it's always going to ebb and flow this was definitely not a part of what I was hoping to create this, this whole world that's happening right now. Right.

But in the time that I'm living in it, I'm creating what I want. Like, I'm having great times with my family and I'm closer with my kids. And my husband and I are watching fun shows and having good conversations. And I'm getting to talk to you and I'm putting positivity out for people. And, you know, I'm doing what I want to do. And I just think, I think you have to fight to do that. I really do.

but I think once you start sending that message to people over and over again, like, oh, yeah, that doesn't fit in this thing I'm creating. It goes away eventually and they stop asking and you really do find that the opportunities that come to you and the people that are around you support what you're trying to be and do in your life. And it's really nice. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money, period.

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Can you say, hey, remember that whole COVID thing? You know, the corona? Remember when mommy was home for a couple months? Mommy's going to fuck off now. So, but just remember, I was there for you, but now I'm not going. You can't do that, can you? No, that would not be good parents. You can't take, like, a month off and say, I'll see you.

I was there for you. two months, two straight months, which was a lot of hours. Add those hours up, sweetie. No, I can't. But you know what's going to happen? The second, this is over. They're going to be like, bye, mom, see, I'm going to play with my friends. I'm going to go to this friend's house.

I'm going to go back to school. I'm going to do. And I'm going to be the one standing in house. Guys, guys, where, what are we doing? I thought we were friends. Why are we not hanging out anymore? What's going on? Do you look back on your career?

Because you had a big career. You've done a ton of stuff. You're famous. You got really famous fast. Everything kind of changed your whole life. so when you're that young and you're that like oh my god there's got to be that feeling of like sometimes like i'm a star you have i'm sure like i'm a star everybody knows me i'm not saying you're not humble but hear hear me out because so it's like okay i'm doing this i'm

you know this and does there come a point where like i want to be did you did you think you wanted to be a star and you want to be famous and you want to keep getting more of more famous Or was there some point where you're like, I don't care about that anymore. My family, honestly, like, this is a real thing. Like, you know, you're on 911. This is a great show, right? This is, you love it. You love being a part of it.

You know, it's a, what do you call it? When it's a lot of people in the show, it's a ensemble. And, you know, you've held shows. You've been the lead on shows. Do you think I don't need to have my own show right now again? Or, I'm not saying, hear me out again. I'm not done. I don't need to have that.

I don't need to be the story. of this. I don't need to be in this. I don't need to reinvent myself or prove myself any more than I have in my career. You know, because these are things that are going on. Everybody's head. I've had things where I haven't had any success compared to the amount of success you had. Hang on. You say that and that's not true. But look, well, in my mind, I just feel like, you know, I am just trying to honestly. And I know a lot of people hate the word. So I'm not going to use it like that, the word happy. But like trying to do that. That's what I'm getting at with this whole

thing you said about does this support the life I'm trying to create and so a I want to feel good I just want to feel good physically and mentally those are the two most important things in my life just feel good and then I could be the best person and then feeling good you know those kind of go together in terms of I want to be a continue to be a great a good person I don't think I'm a great person I think I'm good at times I'm like we also talked to each other last time and I asked if you loved yourself and you said, huh, I don't, and it was a kind of like a no in a way. And then I said to Rob, my engineer, I go, you love yourself.

And he goes, no. Like, what? And then I realized, wait, I don't know if I love myself. So there was three people in there sitting there going, what is that? I know this is the worst question because it's more of like a, it's more like just spitballing. But when is it enough enough? When is it like? And what do you do to love yourself more?

So I've really been working on the love myself thing since our last conversation because I went home after our conversation and I felt so good about our chat and seeing you and just like it was fun and it was good and I felt like we had done what I was hoping to do that day would just show people who I really am and like what my thoughts and feelings really are not some journalists like writing it down into you did you did you know what I mean like I really got to, just got to be myself. And so I felt really good about it. But I also felt really sad because I was like, shit, I left them listening and I left

him with this idea that like, I don't like myself, but it was the truth. And we were telling the truth, so much of the truth that day that I was like, I can't do anything. And it did cross my mind. I was like, I wonder if I should call him and just beg him to like take that part out so that I don't want people to feel that way. And I didn't want people to think that I was like. like sad or didn't you know whatever and then I was like no don't do that because that's what it was

for like you were being your authentic self and your authentic self does not like themselves right now um so to update you um still not there um I'm working on it and I'm working on it really hard and I think I'm working on it the only way that I know how to do it is to give myself grace I've been really trying to um use kind words to myself um and i have been uh trying to be supportive of just like whatever it is that i'm going through at the moment if it's anxiety i don't i'm not hard on myself anymore about having anxiety i'm just like fucking anxiety like let's just get through it there you go that's me whatever um i've been trying to be good to myself during this time i feel like i need to be quarantined from my fridge um because i've been eating my feelings

for sure on certain days. We all have. But I've been trying not to be hard on myself about that either. I've just been trying to be like, okay, that's this little span of three days. Now zip it up and, you know, get it together. So I'm still working on it. I'm definitely still working on it. And I think that I'm getting there.

I had an interesting moment with my daughter about two and a half months ago. And I was not feeling good that day, just about myself, look wise, whatever. and I said something out loud to myself in the mirror and not really realizing that she was standing that close to me. And she said, stop, what did you say? I don't remember. Honestly,

I don't remember. It was something about not feeling great and whatever. And she said, Mommy, please don't talk about yourself that way. And I was like, oh, okay. I said,

I'm so sorry. You know what? You're right. I shouldn't have done that. And then later, like a few hours later, She went back to it, and she was like, Mommy, if you feel that way about yourself and I look like you,

then do you feel that way about me too? And I was like, oh, I mean, it killed me. Like, it literally killed. I started crying instantly. And I had to apologize to her. And it was a moment where I was like, it's important for the reasons that you and I talk about for you to like yourself. But then when you're a parent and you're trying,

to make these people be their best selves and to try to like hold them up and shore them up as much as possible to give them as much confidence in who they are because the world is going to knock that down later in different moments, boys and girls are going to break up with each other. You know what I mean? School like it's going to happen. Like they're going to have a knock to their confidence. I feel like in this stage of life, it's our job to make them feel so good. But part of that is them knowing that you like yourself.

And my daughter was very aware of the fact that I do not like myself yet in that moment. And it killed me. It was really hard. That is, that's really strong because I, I, at that, when you were talking, I started thinking, if I ever have a kid, I don't know if that's going to happen. But I can imagine myself going, listen, you're already smarter than me. I'm not very smart. You're smart. And no matter what you do, I'm going to be proud of you.

And look, I am. And you've got to be careful, I guess. She was really sensitive that mom didn't like her looks or didn't like her. And isn't it amazing how those even the littlest things that you wouldn't think, oh, she won't be affected by that. She was profoundly affected by that, even so to come to you later and then say, Mommy, when you say that, you're saying that to me because I look like you. And it's like, what? First of all, your kid's a genius, by the way. My kid probably wouldn't say that.

You probably said, you are ugly. You are a piece of shit. you're right I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding see we get ahead of ourselves no but I think when I can be genuine and altruistic

and I'm doing things not thinking that oh the camera's rolling people are watching when I do things that are just innately lack of a better word organic they're just when I can just do something

selfless and not think of it. It's just something I have to do to help someone, to make someone laugh, to whatever it is. That's when I'm happy. That's when I love myself.

You know, last night I called, by the way, I do a lot of shit that I'm like, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. So it's nice when you could say I love it. But in those moments, like last night, one of my buddies, he's 16. He's got terminal cancer. He's, uh,

I met him at the Ronald McDonald's. house which donate if you want it's an awesome place um and i just became friends with him and his family i went to see them um we're writing we're gonna write a song together um and just go i'm gonna i'm gonna call preston and just getting on the phone with them and just all of a 30 minutes go by and we're talking about girls and we're talking about you know his treatments and you know some of the shit he has to deal with and we're talking about you know just life and i'm like you know that this is cool i didn't say let's do this because this i did it because i really wanted to do it and i cared and i like him and i i enjoyed it and it it just was meaningful so um

i feel like i'm at my best when i could just be just absolutely genuine just and it doesn't always come off you know i'm like begging people please listen to the podcast please subscribe to your friends you feel like oh my god i'm hoaring myself out but you know i love that but i love it But at the same time, when I could do something for others that just feels, just feels authentic and real, that's, that's those moments of love. But that's, but that's it, right? I mean, I feel the same. Like, I know the days that I feel best is when I have either been around people who've allowed me to, to be authentic or tapped into something authentic for myself and been able to give that to other people. people um i mean that's the beautiful part and that that i will say i think is one really a beautiful ripple

effect of everything that's been going on right now is i i feel like we are seeing the most genuine authentic version of of people um the ones that are like really bold enough to give it you know um on social media or in the news or on tv or whatever and and i hope that that stays i really hope that that stays i hope that people are seeing that like we all really like you just as you are without all of the without all of the stuff you know and it's it's beautiful to see like the people that i have that i've seen doing that it's really um it's really nice and and i hope that i hope it keeps some of that don't go changing to try to please me never change the color of your You should color your beard

Color my beard pink I love you just You should color your beard What should I color it? Purple Purple a purple beard Then I'd be like that baseball player Are you on Instagram right now

While you're interviewing me? I'm looking up your name Because I want to play something This is you and your husband This is what you do over the quarantine Although maybe This was nice I'm going on my phone too

This is nice This is you singing And you're playing with your hubby You sound like a country star It was a country song Star I love that song I love that song

Come on, that's beautiful Thank you I've been watching some of your life performances Yeah Yeah. I try to, I do these instill. You love doing music. That makes you happy. It does. I do Insta Live and we do a thing where it was like, just pick a song and I don't know it. And I'll just go on there. Oh, that. Let's try it. Sometimes I'll bomb. Sometimes I'll go, oh, wow, I did it.

But I just don't care and I just do it. And it's a lot of fun. I want it. There should be some kind of show like that. God, that'd be fun. Like hosting some kind of like sing along. My husband's incredible. Like, he is not a trained musician. But I'll be like, hey, babe, I want to want you to learn this song. Within like 15 minutes, I'm like, well, I've got the, I've got half of it. I've got over half of it. I'm like, how do you do that?

Me, I can play the guitar, like this much of piano, this much. He's just, it's, it's incredible. And I love to watch him do it. It's really fun. But your voice. You can tell I've had anxiety today because I've picked my phone. Is that your thing that you do? That's your tick when you get anxiety?

Love it. All right. It's all right. Stop doing it. Stop doing it. All right. I'm going to ask you, these are called. shit talking with Rosenbaum these are from my patrons who I love dearly and all the patrons who

support the podcast are just exceptional it's just beautiful thing and I love all of you but this is questions for you and you can answer them quickly you don't have to go on and on about this shit oh wow are you saying I talk too much I did not say that did not say that I love you little Lisa if you could have one superpower what would it be right now to hug people superpower it would be hug people without getting the coronavirus yeah Okay, that would be your superpower. I could hug people and not get it. That'd be, that's a, that's a cool thing.

I think mine would be, it's not for me. It's not for, never mind. I would have just said heal people. Anyway, Raj. Raj, Raj. Wait, they might look terrible. No, no, it's great. A music producer wants to create an album of duet covers with, uh, you and me, Jay.

What, what are some songs you, you, that we would like to record on the album? Mine would be probably, uh, endless love. Oh, okay. I was going to say the stars for it's song. That is a sweet song. I always imagine him killing himself, though, in the movie when I hear that song. Sorry. Jake M.

What is your expressive love language and how do you use it to express your love for those around you? Selfless acts. I like to give. And then I like to just know that it mattered. So you don't like gifts? I don't really need people to give back to me necessarily. I just need to know that it mattered that I gave. It's a good answer.

Nico P. Good old Nico helps with the podcast. Good man. Good kid, Zach. Is there something people seem to misunderstand about you? If so, what is it? I think people believe that because I'm positive, that that means that I am happy all of the time. And that is a misconception. I am a positive person who feels things very deeply, but always believes that when something bad is happening, that good will come. positivity doesn't necessarily mean the whole time. That you're happy the whole time, yeah. You know, I sometimes think about that too. It's like, oh, my God, he's such a happy person. I'm like, would you rather? Look, the real person can't go up and go, no, I'm having a shitty day.

What? Leave me alone. Oh, my God. I'm just a mess. I just, you know, it's too, no. You don't want to see that. Nobody wants to see that. So you try to keep your shit to yourself or with close friends or someone you love.

And the rest of it, no one needs to see. I mean, unless you're in a reality show. Jamie H. What was one of your most defining moments as an adult that helped shape you? That's tough. My mom dying. For sure. Changed almost everything about me into like a new hyper-focused trait.

Like it just kind of, I don't know, everything just went like very clear. But it's also brought a lot of really beautiful things, like getting married and having kids and believing that, you know, I could do that and still have a career and, you know, all of those things. So I would say that. All right. By the way, did I tell you look great? Thank you so much.

You're very nice. While you were talking, I actually was looking at you and I go, she's beautiful. Thank you. You just, I'm not even, I'm not, you know, obviously I'm not hitting on you. I love you. I just, I'm saying, I really just, I just noticed beauty. I was like, wow, you're just, you're eloquent, but you're also like, you're just pretty. Thank you.

Whatever. Yeah. You're welcome. I'm serious. Bobby, you went from child star to sexualized leading lady in a short period of time. How did that affect your self-image

and the way you saw people treating you? I shouldn't write it like that because it was a serious question. It made me feel at the time just confused as to why people were kind of looking at me that way and thinking of me that way because again, like I'm a very sort of dorky, silly person

and don't think of myself as like a sexy, whatever. Um, later in life, it made me feel extraordinarily uncomfortable for my, um, 17 year old self. Um, and so I, you know, spent some time working on that. Um, but, uh, but at the time that it was happening, I just remember thinking, what is wrong with people? Why do they feel this way about me? But, um, but, but yeah, it was fine. All right. A few more questions. Joshua H. What is something important you've learned during your career that would have benefited you if you'd learned it earlier in your professional life. Oh, wow. Um, I don't know. Is that autumn screaming? Yeah, my kids are having like a full, like, roll outside the door for. Guys, everybody okay? Um, I'm going to

hide in here. Yeah, do it with the husband do it. Um, I actually don't know. I feel like, uh, yeah, I don't, I don't know. I want to give him an answer, but I don't know. You know what I would say, you know, just to answer this question for me. Maybe that, maybe that you, that you don't have to worry so much that you're not going to get like your next job. Like, it'll be there. Like, you can have a career. Like, I feel like if I had worried less about that, I would have enjoyed the stuff that

I was getting to do more. Like, now I don't worry about it as much. I'm like, okay, well, if you work, then that's going to suck. But, you know, whatever. Like, I have other things in my life. But at the time when I was younger, I just was so hyper-focused and worried all the time. I didn't need to tell you up. I think so.

I think I did that too. And I think I just like, dude, enjoy the moment. I would say that to any younger self. Enjoy now. Not tomorrow. Not the, just now, this moment, whatever it is. Just right now, me and Jennifer. Lisa, is there anything you've always wanted to do in your career-wise, career that you just haven't gotten around to?

I've always wanted to do a musical TV show or movie. So that I could just think all the time. You could still do it. Like a glee or. crazy ex-girlfriend or that Zoe's a playlist that's on TV right now. Like, oh, I've given anything to get that part.

So that is something. What would you do, Emily S? What would you do if you weren't acting? What did I do? I feel like I would be like, I would do something crafty. She's crafty. Judith, what would you like people to remember about you?

See, it's always the question. That's cheesy. No, no, seriously. That's a, I think it's a legit question. Oh my gosh. Like if a little old woman, not to be macaw, was looking at your gravestone, goes, oh, that Jennifer love, Hewitt, she was just full of light. Full of light.

Full of light, Hewitt. I was just like, remember that I was really happy, like that I just really enjoyed my life. I like that. I think you do love yourself a little more. You do? You see that? Yeah, I could see. I could just see that you're just like you said, you're being kind of yourself.

You're giving yourself like. hey you just have to it's like you could punish yourself all day i could sit here all day and go why did you do that that was selfish why did you do that why don't you get up and do that why you could sit there all day and tell about but it's about what you're doing next and how you're learning from that so if you could have those moments those intermittent moments and hopefully make those moments a little more than the other moments you know it's creating good habits and getting rid of the bad ones that's it's work in progress dude i am fucking some days i think i've done some days i'm like i'm giving up and some days i do some days i just go i'm done

what am I not like with my life I'd get help immediately I'm saying I just feel like what's the point what's the fucking point why am I even doing why am I even why am I even going on the car it's not gonna you could sit there and go down and where I'm

why am I even pitching this project nothing's going to get sold no one buys anything if they buy it they're not going to even plant the buy what am I doing here you need to call me more off I do look I love this I'm so glad you did this and um thanks for having me i technically invited myself on though because he didn't even

reach out to me i reached out to say hey do you want to zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom you're going to zoom with me um this is a pickup line hey you want to zoom with me you know what it's not a bad pickup line it's like hey i'm quarantined so are you why don't we talk face to face let's zoom all right look this has been amazing thank you for doing this again i hope you'll come back again because you i think you have fun. Of course. I'll always come back for you. I love you. Yeah, I love you too. I do. And I hope to, when this is over, I could come and hang out with the fam. I want to come hang out with the fam. I really do. Ryan can play guitars. Honestly, I'd love that. Thank you for allowing me to be inside of you again. Jennifer Love Hewitt. And besides 911, is that, you got the family and you got 911, right?

I'm executive producing some stuff for next year. Really? But you're up to, you're up for doing other stuff, though, right? You know. Yeah, of course. I could do movies. Hmm, interesting. I could do like small parts on other shows, I think. I don't know. Sorry, it's for sissies. We'll get that back in the go.

Yeah, let's spin that one back around. Oh my God, that was 10 years ago. All right, I love you. Thank you again. I'm going to, I want crystals, text me, and we'll talk about T-shirts maybe, and I love you and give my love to your family. Mm-hmm.

Love you. I mean, come on. I hope you liked that one. I hope you enjoyed it. Jennifer is just such a fantastic woman she is just you can tell a great mother great

I mean uh man I just love that woman I really do she's fantastic uh I want to give a shout out to my patrons and uh but first we're going to read a fan letter all right this is from Jennifer hi Rosie let me start off by saying thank you for doing the inside of you

podcast at least I'm not alone struggling with anxiety no no you're not I love the second interview that you did with Stephen Amel I never thought he had issues with anxiety, and I gave him kudos for him returning back to finish the interview after he had an anxiety attack, if you guys know. I suffer from anxiety, too, which I don't tell a lot of people because I fear of how they will think of me or treat me. I'm surprised my husband wanted to marry me and is still with me for 24 years because you're

awesome. Sorry, I responded too early. My mom was my rock and my best friend when I was younger. She had always been there for me through thick and thin when I was two years old. My mom was worried that I was not responding when people would. talked to me and fought for me when the doctors and other specialists told her that I would never learn to read or write. There was nothing they could do for me. They suggested to her to put me in a special home, and she would not have that. She would not have that and kept looking for answers.

She finally went to a specialist that dealt with hearing, and he did some testing. He discovered that I was hard of hearing, H-O-H. He fitted me with hearing aids, and I was able to hear plus I read lips. Once I was fitted with hearing aids, I still struggle with talking. did not talk till I was seven years old, so I had to work with a speech therapist from my elementary and middle school kids, or middle school years, sorry. That helped me a lot because now people that know me

say I never shut up, and I tell them I am making up time for five years of not talking, laugh out loud. I did struggle through my school years with teachers, not wanting to cooperate with putting me in front of the class so I can read their lips because of my maiden name, Walton. Yes, it's like the TV show. They wanted to seat us alphabetically A through Z,

not Z through A. plus the kids in school were not so kind either. They would call me alien because I had trouble with my speech stating I was not normal and did not fit in. My mom's determination to get me to help I needed through school and getting teachers to cooperate had helped me through the years. Growing up, I do miss her, but she's in my heart. My anxiety has gotten worse as I get older.

My relationship with my dad is not great. But I've accepted that because if it wasn't for my mom, fighting for me, I wouldn't be where I am today. I still struggle, so I am so hard on myself if I make mistakes. Don't always have good self-esteem and feel like I don't always belong. Now I'm working from home due to this pandemic. I'm grateful that I still have a job due to my company,

health care, being essential, but miss the interaction of my coworkers. Right now, I work from home July until July 13th. My fear is that they will change it to the rest of the year for us working from home. I hope not, but have to wait and see. I apologize for the long email to read, but wanted to let you know my listening to your podcast,

have listened to them all since March 2020, has made me smile, laugh, and cry. I hope to meet you someday in the future, you will. If you come back to do a Smallville Knights in Columbus, Ohio, I'm sure we will. Keep up the great work doing your podcast, Patreon, and Instagram, like videos. I really enjoy them. Also enjoy watching your dogs when you include them. Your patron, Jennifer.

It's beautiful. Jennifer, you're amazing. We've talked before via patron and I think we did a Zoom. I like how you, you know, you face so much adversity and so much pain in your life. And it's nice to hear that you're plugging away and you work on yourself. And, you know, your husband's with you because you're awesome. Your husband's with you because he needs you. I think people gravitate towards you because you're a good person.

So you never feel like, you know, you're not worthy or people are looking at you funny. I mean, we all feel that. I feel like people are judging me all the time. every interview i think they're thinking god you suck at interviewing believe me jennifer i appreciate your email your your letter i printed it out off hello at inside of you podcast dot com so thank you thank you for that i appreciate all your fan mail and uh your message is don't go on red i do read them sometimes it takes me a while to share them with you if i choose to share them why don't i give my patrons a shout out because i love each and everyone this is the inside of you

patron. Nancy D. Mary B. Leah S. Tricia F. Sarah V. Yukiko. Jill E. Brian H. Lauren G. Nico P. Barry I. Actually, it's Barry L. Hello. Barry, how often do I do that? Angelina G. Jerry W. Kevin R. Emily K. Bob B. Robert B. Jason W. Kristen K. Andrew C. Allison L. Jason D. Rage. Sean Joshua D. Emily S. C.J.P. Rocks Raccoon. Samantha M. Hamza B. Jennifer N. Stacey B. Carly T. Van S. in the sky. Ream. Jennifer S. Janelle B. Nealb. Tabitha C. Kimberly E. Melissa C. Mike E. Jake M. Marissa N. Catherine M. Jack S. Still up in the upstairs there playing video games, Jack. Carly Smale, hello, Judith D, Ramira, Chris F, Sarah F, Chad W, Leanne P, Darla W, Jackie P, Rodrigo S, Raken, I messed that name every time. You saw in the questions, I did that on the bonus material on the patron. Rakin, Ration, Travis B, Ray, A, Maya, P, Megan D, DeMario, Tina J, Jennifer C, Maddie S, Tiffany L, Kendrick F, Ashley E, and Kelly W. you. I couldn't do this without you. You guys, you guys are unbelievably supportive. You know,

I message a lot. Obviously, I can't message to everybody and respond to everybody, but I kind of randomly throughout the days go and go, oh, and I just respond and, you know, it's hard, but it's, it's addictive. Addictive? Yeah, whatever. That wasn't great in word power. But I love it. Once again, left on Laurel. You can still get the album on iTunes. You could order on inside of you online store, Spotify. I'm going to do another stage it. I'm going to announce it right now. I didn't announce it in the beginning.

June 20th at 2 p.m. Go to stage at 2 p.m. for all those Europeans and all the people over there on the other side of the world. A 2 p.m. show on Saturday, June 20th, and a 6 p.m. So we're going to do another one about a month from now. Rob and I. So it'll be Michael Rosamombe and Rob Danson. And we'll play some more covers and some more originals and maybe a left-a-old song or two.

uh see how we feel i'm sure we'll play two at least and don't forget the new patreon where have all the good horror movies gone make sure you check it out me and john heater on patreon it's an exclusive i had a weird conversation with my friend harland and i was like i just feel like the person you know when you're doing something right you know when you're doing something wrong you could feel innately so it's just like whatever of that calling is whatever you know your body speaks to you when you're not doing something cool or something that's just a little bit eh you can feel it in your gut unless you're you know complete i don't know serial killer but i'm just trying to listen to my gut more i'm trying to listen and say hey

that's not right or hey do more of that that's what your soul seeks you know so i'm just saying go with your gut man be a good person or continue to be a good person and don't be hard yourself when you F up. Lord knows I F up. So thank you for allowing to be inside each and every one of you guys. I look forward to next week. And thank you

my guest, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Thank you for all my patrons. And look at me on the Instagram live. We'll do one soon. And, of course, the patrons, YouTube, private live. Okay. Oh, man. Believe has the podcast to enhance your football experience.

From the pros. One of the most interesting quarterback rooms. To college. Michigan is set at eight and a half wins. To fantasy. If you feel that way, why didn't you trade them? Become a better fan and listen to the football podcasts from Believe. Just search Believe.

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