Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Julie Benz

Episode Date: November 26, 2019

Julie Benz (Dexter, Hawaii Five-0) joins us to talk about everything from issues with panic attacks and infertility to being surprisingly killed off of her dream role on the hit show Dexter after 4 years. Julie was absolutely amazing this week and opened up about how previous experiences with being left in the shadows and dealing with rejection fueled her fire to continue pursuing a successful career in acting. We also talk about what it’s like dating as we get older, Julie’s former life as a groomed child ice skater, and realizing that our work and roles don’t define who we are as people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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How are you guys? I hope you had a glorious weekend. It's Tuesday. It's another episode of Inside of you. I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart because without you, these two years went by pretty fast. We've had 75 guests. And I want to thank you guys for listening. It's like therapy for me every week.

I hope it's therapy for you. And it's therapy for the guests a lot of times. And I really appreciate the support. tell your friends to subscribe your family members grab their phone you know how to do it and please listen to the new podcast with uh chris sullivan and i you know this is us who's just nominated from emmy he's a fantastic guy the the new show is called in love with michael rosenbaum and chris sullivan but today we got a great show i wasn't you know expect this actress julie we're going to get inside of him in a minute she listens to inside of you she's a big fan she would

direct message me like oh my god the the ralb machi the general of love hugh and we talk about that. She was really excited. She said she was nervous to be on the show, which I found to be amazing. And I just love, I love when you guys listen, but it's also a nice one. My peers appreciate it, and it makes me feel like I'm doing something right, and I want to keep doing this. So spread the word, write a review.

Do it for both podcasts, if you want. I love that. And Julie Benz talks about being divergenized. She's so open about her age, about getting let go from Dexter after four seasons, and she had to go into the boss's room so they could tell her that, hey, we're killing you off.

She went, she got really emotional and she just gets really personal. And I'm just going to give you this code word, Jeff Hagan. All right. Let's get inside of Julie Vens. It's my point of view. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. Annie McDowell, did you see that?

I did. It's crazy. She's so fantastic. Oh, I love her. I sat across from her at a Hallmark Channel event once, and I was wearing this very revealing dress, and she looked across the table, and she was like, honey, with breasts like that, I'd wear that dress every day. Andy McDowell said that to you.

So you have great breasts? I guess. She thought I did. I'm not saying that you must have great breasts if she said that. She said it. Like women don't look at other women's breasts and say something. No. Like that, unless they really mean it.

It was an amazing dress. I could tell you're proud, too. I was, because that's Andy McDowell, I mean. Did you go home and tell your husband? I did. Sweetheart. Andy McDowell, Groundhog's Day, weddings and a funeral.

How many were they? Four weddings and a funeral. Four wedding. She told me my breasts were dynamite. Yeah. They were perfect. She told me I should wear this dress every day. What do you think of marriage, sweetheart?

He doesn't talk like that. I'm like Wilford Brimley. by yourself about a quakerose and you're diabetus. He's not that old. He's dead, isn't he? Is what for my husband?

Oh, my husband's not that old. And he's not dead. All right, first of all, Julie Benz, you look right now, I didn't want to say this when we're off camera, you look great. And I'm not hitting on you. We're friends.

I will say that you right now remind me of Meg Ryan in the doors with the glasses. You have like a little bit of hippie feel. I like that. And I'm digging it. It's just like, love you, Jim Morrison.

I like that. I'll go with that. I'm digging it. Yeah. I'm digging it too. I like the glasses. I like the, you just look very. And what's surprising me, and now I don't want my audience to think, what a dick, Rosenbaum.

You just go out and say shit, but you know me by now. I know me by now. Immediately, we talked about your age. You know, I was showing you around the place. And you kept talking about, you know, well, my age. I'm like, your age. How old? You're not.

You're not old. And you're like. 47. And I swear to God, I honestly shit myself. off. I could not. I looked at you and I, I thought maybe she's going to say 37, 30 tops. Thank you. Because you said your age. Thank you. But you look, your skin. I wish we had a sponsor that specialized that talks about skin because why is your skin so good? Some of it's genetics. My mom always looked really young. And then some of it is, you know, I maintain. And I always cover my face in the

sun. Always. See, when I was a kid, when we were kids, because we're the same age, our parents never, ever said make sure you put some SPF on no no that didn't happen no so we went out our faces got burnt yep and we got tan really fast and we didn't get we had sunburn and we didn't get a shit and we did it for years and all of a sudden you hit fucking 35 and you're like why don't I got a liver spot at 35 what is that shit yeah you got sun damage boy yeah and now they have laser treatments you can get rid of all of it yeah my friend carrie odonnell one of my best friends she works over at Rifkin, dermatologist in Beverly Hills. He does all the fancy people.

And she does a little laser treatment. She zapped a couple of my things. I got to go back. Yeah, I developed melasma in my 30s, which is like... Is that near Malaysia? Near Malaysia. What happens there? You get, it's sometimes referred to it as pregnancy mask, but you don't have to be pregnant

to have it. It's from birth control, too, and being in the sun. and it causes like I had a dark patch on my forehead that people would always come up to me and be like, oh, you have dirt on your head. And I was like, no, don't touch it. So I had to go and get that laser.

I think my assistant actually talks about that. She has something that she doesn't like, I don't notice it, but she's like, I had this like red, maybe that's Malaysia. Melasma. Melasma. I think it might be. I called mine Russia because I looked like Gorbachev of the thing.

But you know, here's the thing. People are thinking, Rosma, why are you getting laser treatment? Here's the thing. When you're in, it's just good for your skin to get these dead skin cells off of you. First off, first and foremost, your dermatologist is going to say, let's zap that off. Yeah. Because it can become skin cancer, right?

Yeah. Well, melasma can't. You can't? No. But what laser treatments do, it can also promote collagen. So it just can help you maintain a youthful appearance. Yeah, because are you wearing makeup today? I do have makeup on you.

It's just a light coat, isn't it? Yeah. Because it really, I'm surprised by the suppleness, the softness and the glow of your skin. Did you just get a facial? No, I don't really get facials. I do laser treatments. How many laser treatments a year? Well, now probably only like four.

That's not very much. No, but back when I was trying to get rid of my melasma, I was going like every six to eight weeks. And it took a while, it's like for two years. Well, what I notice is also, and I'm not judging you, but since we're talking about this, you don't look like your Botoxed out, your lips don't look like briefcase handles. I know. You look natural. Will you stay like this? Yes.

Look, women shouldn't care what guys think, but women should care what women think or what they think themselves. If you look at it, guys or girls, it's like the lips are too much. Too much. Somebody said women or men, they start looking like the same person when they do the lips and the tightening of the skin and it stretches and everybody starts looking the same. Yeah, there's this facial structure that's in right now where it's kind of like this very rounded look that women are doing with fillers and,

Botox and I just I don't like that I like the I like I like aging you know I mean I want to work as an actor so therefore I have to look like a real person and not like a celebrity I mean look at Meg Ryan right I mean she was like a dream and like not to say that everybody we all get older like I don't look like I did I don't I mean I'm not saying that but you know she did the lips thing and it just was like whoa what what happened yeah and is that fixed now I don't know. I don't know. Can you fix that or does it die down?

It depends on what was done. There was like back in, I would say like 10, 15 years ago. I remember I met some woman who was telling me I need to go see this doctor who was doing like little drops of silicone in the lips. And that was so illegal to do. And she was like, you need to go see him. He's amazing. I, of course, did not go see him. But that cannot be removed.

The silicone stuff can't be removed. So once you do the silicone, that's it. Yeah. And I think that's what Priscilla Presley did. So her lips are just what they are. Yeah. That's it. You can kind of grab them with your hand.

I think so. You can just put your fingers in them. They can maybe cut it out. I don't really know. I think for me, I love, you know, being an actor so much. And you don't want to compromise your. Right. And there's so many, like, non-invasive treatments that you can do for your skin, like,

laser treatments and microneedling and all of that, that's enough for me. Yeah. It's just tough for me because I'm still dating and I don't even know. I mean, look, I'm improving. I'm working on myself like you wouldn't believe the changes I'm making. I talk about this, but I meditate and I'm, I'm hiking and I'm playing tennis. I think it's the, the, the, the ADD medication I'm taking now that I can focus and I have a little more energy. I really want to be in a relationship. I swear to God. There's nothing more I want to do than to wake up with someone and be able to do something and just trust someone. So dating's a bitch. Oh, I can't do it. I'm free two weeks from now. Or you go on the dating site and you go, hey, how's it going? Three weeks later. Nice talking to you.

Why are you on here? You know, or they'll reach out and they'll go, hey, I liked your picture of your dog. And I'm like, hey, cool. Where are you, where do you live? And I'm like, hello? What are you doing? I think some people just want the attention or the oh he liked me he's he's engaging now that's all i need fuck off dude and i'm sure i have done it before where it's like you know oh she's pretty she's she seems cool she's a laid back girl woman and then you look you hit the instagrams and all of a sudden oh she's a partyer oh why is she on a jet why is she on a private jet there's eight pictures here now i'm like uh and you start to get things going on in your head like hmm i don't know if this is for me. I kind of want a girl that's like, you know, the Olive Garden or, uh, you know what I

mean? You just want. So I, I, it's hard for me to date, but you see the, sometimes the pictures and you see the lips and you see the, and I'm sure the guys do too. My advice is this. Just show pictures that look like yourself, wouldn't you say? I agree. I agree. And if you're prettier than your pictures, great. That's amazing. Then they like you and they go, oh my gosh, or he's, he's, he's cuter then I almost look like shit in my pictures where if they happen to say yes and then they go out with me they're like slam dunk I thought this guy was a four look at him he's kicking a six right now and his personality I don't know why I got lost in that but anyway you don't have to deal with that because you're married yeah and I've never done any of the online dating stuff I mean

I got divorced in my mid 30s and I wanted to start dating and I didn't know how because I I had been with my first husband since I was like 22. Yeah, you were together from like, what, 95 or something? Yeah, something like that. I mean, I was in college. I just graduated college in 95. Me too. I met him when I moved out here to L.A.

And we met in acting class and started dating and then got married. And we were together for a very long time and then got divorced. And at 35, I found myself, like, back in the dating world and didn't even know, like, how to do it. Is that terrifying as a 35-year-old divorcee? Yeah. totally you know part of it too was I had to accept that I might be walking away from my fertility at that age because when you get divorced in your mid 30s as a woman there's that possibility where you might not end up having kids um and so I had to go to lots of therapy about that um but then

did you hate when people always do you want to have kids do you still want to have kids is that something women hate that yeah like don't ask a woman do you want to have children yeah it's um why not why don't Why don't you ask that question? It's personal. It's personal, and you don't always know what the other person's going through. Now, I ended up struggling with infertility for years and, you know, went through numerous rounds of IVF with my current husband and found out we weren't able to have children. What's IVF? In vitro.

Oh, yeah. That's what it's, yeah. Yeah. I knew that. I just didn't. And, you know, found out we weren't able to have kids. And still people, because I do look younger, you know, we'd go out to dinner parties and people would be like, well, well, when are you going to have kids?

And I'd be like, and I literally just got to the point where I'd be like, I can't, I can't have have to be so direct. And I'm like, well, I just want the conversation to end. It's sort of like when people are saying, what are you up to these days? Like, how about nothing? Nothing. I used to always say, well, I got this movie coming out that you won't see because it's an indie. It's a real indie. And then I got this other thing that I auditioned for, we're waiting for the answer for that one.

And I've got, and so you'd always name these things because you've made yourself feel better than you felt right and so now I'm just like yeah I'm doing a podcast man I love it I don't give a shit yeah what movies are you doing nothing right now I had two lines in this one thing that Marvel movie I was in yeah I'll give you this is it this is me because it doesn't really matter it doesn't matter you know you start to think about stuff and you're like what what's really important and by the way you go anywhere outside of Los Angeles and no one even really asks you that like all they want you know what I mean like they just care about the you've done you know that's sort of true they're not really going like well what are you doing now

or why aren't you working or what's going like they're just kind of like wow you did this and you did that and that isn't that and by the way that's what you should feel as as as an actor as a artist as whatever a doctor I don't care what you do you're always thinking about being relevant being the next to whatever there's such a small percentage of people that are have that Leonardo decaprio fame and all that stuff but if you go who's that yeah but but if you just say Hey, what did you do? Well, I've done a shit ton of TV shows. I was on Dexter.

When is it enough? Yeah, exactly. You know? Exactly. Like, you know, people say, oh, you were on Smallville. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, I was. And if that was it, you weren't.

Yeah. You know? Not very many people get the opportunity to be on a series for seven. Was it seven years? Eight years? I was on it for seven years. Seven years, yeah. But I'm proud.

I've never had that opportunity to be on a show for seven years. Well, you were on Dexter for just a year, but you can't. No, I did four years. Four years. Wait a minute. Yeah. Four years? I did four years. Can you die in a bathtub? I did. It was just why I remove all the bathtubs out of every home I live in. Wait a minute. You don't have bathtubs? No. You don't have one bathtub.

No, I have two showers. Why? Because, really because of Dexter? Kind of. Why? I'm just kidding. I don't know. I don't like bathtubs. I like jacuzzies. I have a jacuzies. I have a jacuzzi outside. But you're not a bather. Isn't that a funny word? Are you a bather? Maybe that should be the question you have. on your dates. Are you a bather? Are you a bather or a shower? I like, you know, I like jacuzzis too. Yeah. I do. I like to shower. My thing is I like to go for a quick swim. I'm talking five minutes swim. Yes. Jacuzzi, five, 10 minutes. Shower. I feel good. Yeah. I have a pool and I don't know how to swim. Wait, wait. Wait. In the pool, reading a book. That's what I do.

You don't know how to swim. You're 47 years old and you can't swim. If I dumped you in the ocean, I would die. No, I'm scrappy. I can. And doggie paddle, I just can't go under the water. I get very claustophobic. And I've gone to numerous swim classes. I've had teachers. I just can't figure out how to breathe underwater. Really?

Which you can't. Well, first of all, you can't breathe underwater. So I panic. I was going to film it one time for Instagram. My husband trying to teach me to swim. And he's like, no, it's so embarrassing. It's really embarrassing. Yeah.

I can't. I can't. You feel like you're just like something's wrong with that. I feel like I'm dying. Yeah. Like literally dying. As soon as my head goes under, I'm like, Oh, God.

And I come up and I'm like, I can't breathe. And he's like, could you just come up a little more calm? Don't act like it's the end of the world. Is he calming? He's very calming. He's the calm. So are you guys, the opposites? Are you kind of like, do you get sort of emotional and he has to sort of like, it's

okay, Julie? It's all right. Yes, definitely. I mean, it used to be, I think we used to be really different in the beginning, whereas I was way more emotional and he was way calm and now we're kind of like meeting in the middle where well I think maybe I changed a lot and realized that like you can't let your emotions run your day look we're all growing but you think there were stages in your life where you're like oh I just want to get approval I just want self-esteem I just want I want my peers to love me

I want everybody to love me why can't they just love me why can I be you ever get overwhelmed like that where you're like you lose sight of things and there's a moment in your life where you just kind of what the fuck are you doing none of this is important does you ever go through any of that um maybe i mean i think for me i um always always always just worked as an actor and i was a young i was a ice skater growing up as well i saw that yeah i was always performing and getting praise for performance so then when you do hit a lull and you're not working that's like the hardest thing and like when you're not equipped for that

so I'm learning how to go like wait a second that doesn't define me what defines me is my relationships to other people how I you know take care of my home how I take care of my husband and my friends and my family and my loved ones that's what's important yeah but when do you figure that stuff out

like when do you like you talk about how important it is to be a good a wife and a good friend and a good daughter or whatever it just it just seems like you have to go maybe you never maybe you've got so much love and uh you know your parents were there for you and proud of you and maybe you weren't affected by that because when you said the ice skating thing when you sort of hit you hit a lull if you have self-worth and you know you're like hey i'm good and my parents love me and they're proud and for me i felt like i have to be perfect at everything even though that's impossible in my mind

I have to work myself to death. You know, it was just never enough. Yeah, I mean, I had a weird family dynamic in that growing up, my brother and sister were junior national ice dance champions. And I was the youngest. So I was always like the tag-along kid at the rink. And even though I skated and had my own accomplishments in the ice skating world, I could, I never was the champions that they were. And I was always reminded of that by my brother and sister. They always told me, you know, we're champions.

You're not. What about your parents? our life revolved around my brother and sister's career as ice skaters. So I just always had to just do whatever they were doing. But ironically, I got injured at 13, and then that's when I started acting, and it was great because all of a sudden I had my own lane. And so there was no longer this comparison. And so then I was able to find my own footing and my own individualism and just my own way.

You had to differentiate yourself from the rest of the family. Yes. It wasn't going to work, you being a skater. No. You weren't going to get the attention you needed. No. You weren't going to get the fulfillment that you needed. No, because they just were so good.

And I was good, but I wasn't so good. And that probably hurt. Like, why can't I be that good? Yeah. I mean, it was tough. But at the same time, too, I was kind of an outsider looking in and seeing all, I mean, we were all under a lot of pressure, but they were under even more pressure, having to deal with a lot of pressure at a young age, you know, being on that.

track of, you know, the goal was to go to the Olympics for them. And everything was about that. And it was a lot of pressure for my, especially my sister, watching as an outsider seeing what she was going through. I was kind of, I was kind of happy that I was kind of like the forgotten child in the family. It was okay. Like I was like, oh, I have a little more freedom. I have a little more. Your friend. I can, you know, and especially once I retired from the sport, then I basically was just able to do you know whatever i wanted and found success in that like you know through acting and performing in that aspect and not being compared inside of you is brought to you by rocket money i'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money period it's rocket money

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Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash inside of you. I read something where your teacher, you still have this? I do. Where they wrote that you will never be an actress and that your voice is awful. Yes. I mean, that's pretty rude.

It was one of those pre-college summer programs. It was at Carnegie Mellon University. Repertory theater. Yeah, and it was like where you go to experience what, like, a theater program is going to be like if you were to then apply to college to. you know, go to theater and study theater and or study acting. And so it was this intense, like, summer program. And I had this one teacher, and I knew she didn't like me. What was her name?

I don't remember her name. Mrs. Crabtree. I remember what she looked like. She was probably in her, like, early 30s, brunette. And she just did not like me from day one. Now, granted, I had a bit of a Pittsburgh accent and, you know. Mrs. Laurel on. Wasn't her?

No, and I had this, like, breathy voice. And she just, every time I talk, just would, like, rip me to shreds and on the evaluation at the end. So by going to the college program, the pre-college program, they would accept two to three students from that program, give them early admissions to Carnegie Mellon to study acting. And it's all coincided where there was a movie being filmed in the city of Pittsburgh at that time. And they were looking for some young actors. And the program recommended, you know, Gabriel, Mom. from suits. He's on suits. He was in the program. And so they recommended him to audition

and they recommended some of the other actors. And they didn't recommend me. But I didn't know about that. All I knew is my modeling agency called and was like, we have this audition for you. And so I went to the audition and I got the role. It was only five lines opposite Harvey Keitel. And it turned into this bigger deal that like I got it when I wasn't recommended by Carnegie Mellon. And so that was going on while all of the same. summer program was going on. So I think that, you know, it was like a jealousy or like, well, just because you got cast in this movie, don't think you're going to be anything. That heard that you said that that kind of drove you to prove that teacher wrong, that,

you know, they didn't accept me. They said, I don't have a good voice. I won't be an actress. Fuck you. Was it all about proving yourself or was it? Did you really like it? I just think I knew that I was going to be an actor. What makes you think, you know, I think I'm going to be an actor? I know. There's got to be more to it than I think I'm going to be an actor because it's fucking brutal um just i i grew up performing what i loved about ice skating was the performance aspect an instant gratification where people sort of not instant like uh uh what's the word you know they clap they clap approval approval you like that right and you all like that yes everyone likes that and it's nothing worse than when you fall on the ice and no one claps but oh yeah

oh i hope she doesn't go into acting but um but the I love the performance aspect of the sport. I didn't necessarily like the sport itself, like the technical elements and the jumps and all that stuff that you had to do. But the actual, like, the skating in between the jumps. Right. You know, I really liked that performance aspect, picking music every year. And I would come up with a character in my head of who I was, you know, why I picked this music

and what I wanted to portray. And so I was kind of like acting on the ice. Yeah. So when I got that rejection from the teacher, first of all, I had dealt with enough rejection in the ice skating world. It was just kind of like, okay, that's your opinion. But I'm going to still do this. Looking back on it now, because I was 16 at the time, I mean, for any adult to tell a 16-year-old, not to pursue your dream or you're not good enough to do this. So it's not helpful at all.

Not helpful. It could be very damaging. Debilitating. It's the same feeling as, you know, getting called dumb or just not getting any kind of, no attention, like not even being commended for doing something right. So you can't really differentiate what's good and what's bad. It's like, well, I'm dumb. And when I do something good, I don't even know if it's good because no one says anything and no one's proud of me. And no one's, so you're going through this world, knowing I don't even know my self-worth.

Of course, I'm talking about myself. And you're kind of going. Were you called dumb? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I still get called them sometimes, you know, and I joke about it. I'm able to, I did this thing called EMDR, rapid eye movement. It's actually proven if you look up, look it up.

If you have any kind of trauma in your life, whether it's childhood or PTSD, it's really about PTSD. And it doesn't mean, I always thought you have to be a veteran, someone who went to war and saw those that are real men and those, how could they, that's trauma. and what I have was insignificant and why should I even but then when you start to realize that your problems are your fucking problems I don't care what they are if you experience them whether it was traumatic as a rape or in your mind as small as something like oh yeah I got called dumb it seems like I shouldn't complain because that's way worse I would doubt myself for everything and then I start talking to this psychologist and we just start talking and she says something about growing up and I just told her a story and I'm not going to say the story but I remember just saying I just froze and I was being yelled at and told I was not you know I was stupid and how could I not understand this and somehow she saw that in my eyes and I wasn't being dramatic I was just telling a story but she saw something in my eyes and she stopped me and said I think you're ready to do this.

Do you want to do this EMDR? And I go, what? No, I don't think so. We shouldn't do it. I'll fail. I'm thinking about failing in therapy. That's how bad I am. You know, we go to this EMDR.

She comes up to me and she goes, I am going to, you're going to close your eyes. And you're going to stay in that moment. I want you stay in that moment that you just told me about. And I go, I just don't think too much. Just do it. And when you open your eyes, when you're ready, I want you to follow my finger in front of you. not your head just your eyes and you just keep doing it you just think intensely of that moment and stay on that moment and I'm like I'm going to fail this all I can think of us I'm going to fail

this is I'm not going to do well I just I'm going to let her down I can't do this I can't do this and I just stayed there and I stayed there and I opened my eyes and it was the ugliest cry in history it was like snot central it was like it was like it was like it was like it was like That's a beautiful cry. It was the end of Schindler's list when he's like, I couldn't save 10 more people with this watch. You know, it was like, oh, my God, I'm just bawling. And I'm so in this moment. And I had no idea what I get goosebumps now.

What affect things in the past. Right. This moment had a profound, it was a disturbing moment of my life that sort of dominoed the rest of my life. That moment. of not a feeling incompetent a feeling dumb a feeling not good enough it translates in everything you do wow in everything you do so what happened was i i didn't even know what we were doing okay let's do it again let's do it again okay what are you thinking now and i'm not kidding you i said to her i i i don't think it's working anymore i don't i don't i can't she goes no talk to me i'm

thinking of that moment and i can't i can't cry i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't It's like I know it's there I can hear the voice I could hear but it's I don't know it's like not affecting me and she smiled at me and she goes okay we're done and I go watch she goes that was one of the best experiences I've had with this if not the best and I go watch is that's exactly what I wanted you to say I was in the moment I was just trying to be real and not thinking about what she wants not what I guess in the way it's sort of like acting it's just like stop worrying about what the cameraman thinks and everybody's thinking And if you could just zone in and be real, that's all, and that moment of clarity, that moment of being real, like I said, it's a domino effect of all those other traumatic things, little things. It's like a big, she explained it as like a big tree falling in the woods in the forest and it knocks down little trees. So maybe that moment knocked down another one when you were an art class and you didn't realize you're colorblind and you're getting called dumb and how are you getting an F in art class. and so so all these things i don't even know why we started talking about it's so fascinating but it works so i think like you know i i guess what i'm trying to say is i don't know how we went pretty far deep into that one but did that moment was that moment of her telling you these things

or was there moments like that were that were traumatic where you look back and you're like this is what pushed me to be great to work so hard because i look at your career and i think this is where I was going and I go this woman keeps fucking plugging away she does dexter which is the biggest one of the biggest parts in your life right huge show great performance sexy smart everything dark everything an actress would want yes dream and then you're on buffy and you're on this buffy was before before yeah but you got demoted on a roll you were supposed to be this and they demoted you self-esteem all over the place up and down and so I'm trying to think of like you can't keep plugging away in, is that voice still in your head? Are there those kind of voices where

it's like, I got to keep proving myself? Or do you really know you're good? Do you know? It's not, I just really love it. You do? I learned a long time, well, I probably like, a long time ago, probably like 10 years ago. I just had to accept what it meant to be an actor. In order to love the good of our jobs when it's good and all the goodness that goes with it, you also have to accept the bad parts that go with it. You can accept the bad parts. You have to. You can't. You You can't, you can't just have the good without the bad. What's the worst thing that happened to you as an actress? The worst thing.

I mean, getting killed off Dexter was pretty bad. I had no idea. I had no idea that was coming. When did they tell you? Three days before. Who called you? They called me in on my day off to do some ADR, and then they called me to the producer's room, and I knew walking.

from the ADR stage to the producer's room. When you get called to the producers, you're being killed off a show. I mean, it's just, you just know that. Were you getting an anxiety attack? Yeah, I suffer from panic attacks, and I started having a panic attack, and I called my manager at the time,

and I said, oh, my God, I think they're killing me off. And this is what he said. He's like, all right, kid, okay, because he knows I suffer from panic attacks. And he's like, just get in and out as fast as you can. Just say thank you and get out. And I was like, okay. And then I called my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time.

And I said, and he's not in the business. And I said, oh, my God, I'm walking to the producer's office. I think I'm being killed off the show. And he's like, maybe they're giving you a raise, which like really broke my heart. Because I was like, no, they don't call it. You don't get a raise that way. Hey, Julie, great four seasons. You're making with dexter mates.

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, it doesn't happen that way. You've got to fight for the raise. And then he said the same thing. And he said, just get in and out as fast as you can. can and get home and I'll meet you at home. So I tried to get in now as fast as I could. Like, I walked in the room and I said, you know, I know what this is about. How many people were in the room? It was, um, three. The three executive producers. All men. No, one woman. Okay. I think

I was a one woman. Yeah. And I said, thank you so much for a great four years. I've appreciated every moment. You said that? I did. Before they said a word. Before they said, I'm smart enough to know what's going on. So thank you for a great four years. Let's talk tomorrow. I mean, because I'm feeling the panic attack coming on. And what did they say? They wanted to have, you know, to have a conversation. And so then I had to sit down and, you know, it's true now. But wait, let me release at this stage because to make matters worse, I worked out at a gym right by the studio.

And so I was, I had worked out that morning. And it was really hot, like hot, like today hot. So I was only in a sports bra and a pair of, like, leggings. And I went to do ADR. So they rehired you. I went to do ADR that way. So all I could think about was. what was that movie where the guy gets broken up with while he's naked?

Is it forgetting? Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That's all I could think about was like, I don't have a shirt on, and I'm losing my job. And I'm like sitting there, like trying to. Oh, so vulnerable. Like, I felt so vulnerable. But they wanted to discuss it.

They wanted to tell me the reasons why. And I, you know, they needed to do that for their own, their own clarity, I guess, their own therapy. Because everybody was upset about it. but um did you cry in the room i did which i didn't want to um did they hug you they did but i was sweaty and smelled they didn't have clothes on basically were you bawling i was i was really upset you loved the show i loved it also it was such a great family and then here you are being told like okay well we're still going to like get together as a family but like you're on your own so it was really hard how long did it take you to recover from that it took a while it took a while

I am I remember therapy for that I did I did did did they pay for it no they should have they should have I remember I met Elizabeth Mitchell right after I was doing I was doing some little indie film and I was working with her and the episode hadn't aired yet so nobody really knew and I was talking to her on set one day and I I told her about it and you know she had been killed off of lost and it was a very similar situation where like they didn't tell you know didn't tell the actor until the last minute they didn't tell her to the last minute or whatever And I was like, you know, they want me to do press for the show and do interviews after it airs. Like, how do I handle that? And she's like, just be honest, which is what I did. I was like, yeah, I got killed off the show. It sucked for me. Like, I was upset, you know. Jeez.

And that's just the only way I know how to deal with that. So it was hard. And my therapist was really great because, you know, when I went to see him and I was crying and I was like, everybody knows. I felt like I got fired. That's what it feels. Like he'd get fired. And he said to me, he's like, listen, when I'm watching a really great show and that character gets killed off, I'm not thinking, oh, my God, that actor just got fired.

I'm thinking, well, this is great storytelling. Well, look at Game of Thrones. Yeah. Ned Stark. Sorry if you haven't seen Game of Thrones. Fucking idiots. But you're watching it, you're like, he's the lead. Yeah.

What are you doing? And then it's like everybody. And that just started like, hey, no job is safe now. No job. And Walking Dead is the same way. You thought Hollywood was tough then. After Game of Thrones, fuck. How many seasons are you doing? I don't know. Yeah, and I know some of the Walking Dead cast, and they told me it's the same way there.

Like, you just don't know when your time's up. You also don't know what seasons which, because they kind of run together. I mean, I enjoy the show for about four seasons. Then I realized, are they ending up at the same hospital at the end? Or is it the prison? What's going on? I'll be honest. I'm not as a zombie.

What do you do with zombies? I love zombies. I don't like zombies. They're jerks. I love them I'm not a zombie person I'm a vampire person I you know

if it's good I don't care like I just you know there's certain zombie movies that just hold up like the dawn of the dead I like the old one and I like the James Gunn one

and you know the return of the living dead is hilarious and fun and dark and I just love that I'm a big horror movie nothing right so all of those like Night of the Living Dead

all the original ones they were all shot in Pittsburgh where I grew up so by the way your dad was a doctor he was a doctor? No, no. He retired. What kind of doctory? He was a general and vascular surgeon. What? A general and vascular surgeon. In vascular? And vascular. So like your heart, veins. Vains. Vanes. Vascular. Vanes. Yeah. So you were rich. Yes. I mean, if you're a vascular surgeon, you're rich. Especially in the 80s, yeah. So in the 80s. I mean, you live in a big house. Yes. Right. Yes. I remember in the fifth grade, we moved into the,

new house. We moved from one side of town to the other side. And so it was a different school district. And I remember I was in the fifth grade and some of the girls came up to me and they're like, you paid $300 for your house. And I was like, $300. Yeah. And then I went home to my parents and they were like, I'm like, everybody in school is talking about how we paid $300 for our house and how it was the most expensive house in the neighborhood. I'm like, $300 doesn't seem like that much money. your mom's like um 300,000

you know it's funny as I remember as a kid and until I was about eight we were living like in duplexes and things in Connecticut New York my dad was a hippie he was like you know he had one pair of jeans he had like a pinto he busted his ass we moved to Indiana and we moved

in this big house in the corner and everybody thought like we oh my god that's the biggest house on the block in Indiana and and I was like like yeah and then i found out that my dad had got a really good deal on the house because there was what's called mine subsidence so the houses were kind of like shifting and it was under these

mines or these stripper whatever that stripper pets were and so yeah the houses were kind of nice but they were kind of shifting and you know so you got you got a deal i live by these rednecks who i love or some of my best friends in the world the shepherds was ronnie ronnie bobby Nate, Candy, Heidi, Crystal, Bob and Terry, we called Bob Al, because he was an alcoholic. Nate, you had no tea, night, you drink all my light beers? I only had a few. You better stay away from those. You know, yeah, we weren't rich.

But, like, you know, I think if you have a bigger house or if you, was it tough, like having money? How hard is it to be a kid who's got, who gets everything that they want? Well, we didn't get everything how we wanted. We weren't very humble. We weren't spoiled completely. I mean, you can't have three kids in ice skating and not have money. Ice skating is an extremely expensive sport because all the training, the coaching, the lesson time, the ice rink time, the costumes, the competitions, the traveling.

It's a lot. It's a lot. So they were spending a large portion of money on that sport. Did they demand good grades from you? This vascular surgeon? they did but I naturally got good grades you did I did I didn't I barely studied I mean I'm telling you right now I thought about this for a while and I thought about teachers that really made an influence on my life and there weren't many but there were enough enough that saw through the annoying ADD kid who just couldn't focus there were a few that just all you need is like really one who believes in you but back then teaching was so different like they took a kid like you and labeled you bad versus like really recognizing whether you were dyslexic or ADD or whatever they weren't really aware of that back then no and it just was yeah and then paddling

we had corporal punishment oh wow so I got paddled oh yeah I got the ass whacked out of me was it a was it a hard wooden paddle no was it a Catholic school or public was it a public school wow yeah I got paddled and um but I just wrote a Facebook to mrs. Muller Mrs. Rall mrs. Meyer mr. Marrow. There's some other, Mrs. Skinner. And yes, and I wrote this thing and I put pictures of them. And I just said, these are the teachers that just, you know, when I think of like what got me through things, it was Mrs. Muller teaching me Romeo and Juliet, but like in a fun way that even a kid who was such attention problems and all these things, she had a way of just making me understand and making me like Romeo and Julia. I got a B in English in literature

in that one semester and then the rest were C's or D's or whatever. Right. I won't go there. Mrs. Rao made history. Okay, I remember and she had patience. I remember there was this Barney Rubble

at the bottom of a fruity fruit loops box. And I remember Kent Brennaman whizzing it by my head and it went through three giant world maps. This little Barney Rubble just went,

it just ruined her world maps. She goes, Michael Kent out in the hall and we went out in the hall but she had a sense of humor about it and she didn't like punish us and get so mean she was like what do I have to do with you to like she got a kick out of us right even though we were bastards and like the the substitute teacher came in did you have teachers like that who just like or were you were you picked on because you had money were you or were you kind of popular well I was barely in school I mean we only went to school four hours a day because we trained for four hours in the morning before school and then we went to

school a half day and then we left school and went to train another four hours. Oh my god. So we were popular in that everybody knew us because we were the family of ice skaters and everybody knew my brother and sister because they were the champions. No, I tried to get jewels to stick and no one would stick it. Well, no, I meant nickname like the three of you, the three. Oh, no. The three boytanos. No, we were just the Ben's kids. The Ben's kids. Oh, look, it's the Ben's kids. Yeah. And so I even remember, I remember junior year at the end of the year. Jeff Hagan turned to me and he's like, were you even in school this year? And I was like, I know.

Did you date guys in high school? I did. I did. Were they handsome? Do you remember the really good looking guy that you dated? I dated a lot of guys. You did? I did.

Were you divergenized at a young age? Is that personal? I think I lost my virginity at probably almost 18. I was I was it was the end of sophomore year of high school oh so you were 15 was that 15 how old was he how old was jeff it wasn't jeff it wasn't jeff no no it was uh uh roger kason roger kason yes he was older football field no no where was it it was at his parents house really were they there no they were gone oh my god were you nervous um no because i wanted to lose my virginity to him because he was the guy that everybody wanted to date. Was he gentle?

He was very sweet, yes. He was? Yeah. And he was a little older. Yeah. Did you think I'm going to marry this guy? I did. We're going to be high school sweethearts. How long did you did? Um, we, eight months, but it was very tumultuous. And then we broke up and then... Heartbroken? Very heartbroken. And then... He didn't, he just had some issues. And he's young. I'm young. And then I started dating other, like one of his friends. Jeff Hagen. No, I never dated Jeff Hagan. I just like, the name i just want to keep saying jeff hagen he was such a nice guy too uh never dated him though um i always i never dated anybody in my grade i always dated like either older and then when i was a senior then

it was younger guys are the guys are the ones that go younger girls go older but i went younger senior year i did i did jason dice was a sophomore no he was a junior i didn't go that yes was he an athlete he was he was football player football quarterback uh i think so i should know that um i was a team mascot at the time. What? I know. How could you be popular being a team mascot?

Well, not that it's bad, I'm just saying. No, they would, they would, um, for some reason there was like, they would always get like three

popular girls to be the mascots and we'd run around in little furry suits and cheer and it was, I wanted it so bad because it was such a status symbol. But then as soon as I got it, I was like, oh my God, this is awful. Like,

I don't want to do this. How long did you wait before you had sex with Jeff, or Dyson? I did. I didn't. pretty quick you did it pretty quick yeah well that's all right you were you know you're young I was young yeah I also I think after Roger I realized that nobody I met in high school was going to be my forever so I kind of dated like a guy if that makes any sense so you dated it like a guy like a guy

whereas like we would date yeah why can't you know why can't women do that because I basically knew like I was going to go off to New York City and study acting, and then I was going to go to L.A., and who knew who was going to meet. And, like, nobody from my childhood was going to, like, take that journey with me. So I just, I didn't want any strings attached. Did anyone ever look you up and, like, Jeff Hagan, for instance? Did they ever, they try to reach on Facebook and go, hey, it's me, how are you? Love to catch up.

You're hot. You're successful. Nobody? No, I mean, people, I mean, I'm Facebook friends with all my old high school friends. I'm Facebook with a lot of friends from high school, sure. Yeah. No. I did look up Roger Kaysen, though. After my divorce, I looked at all.

Does he still look good? He does. Were you thinking about it? I was. I was like, well, maybe, maybe I was wrong. Did you message him? I did. And? And we met up. He came out to L.A. What?

Not to visit me. No, he had some family stuff he had to do. And we met for a drink. And then I realized, no, once again, wrong again. It was just not there. Did he like you, though? I think he was open to the idea. but I was kind of like he wanted to sleep with you I think so but I was kind of like no what am I doing did you sleep with him no I didn't and with the warning sign was he said he just didn't like Los Angeles and he could never see himself living in L.A and I could never see myself living

anywhere else I had I had that with a girl once I was this girl I was dating in Montreal I say girl at a woman but I like just say girl yeah it's okay girl boy um but uh she lives in she lived in Montreal and I was dating her and she was like I go would you ever move to L.A. She goes, no, no, never. I never would. And she was kind of a teacher and she was a great girl. Awesome. Awesome. And she goes, would you move to Montreal? And I go, no. Right. No. But then. Did you sleep with her? Of course. I dated. I dated. Yeah. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. This day. I mean, I haven't talked to her in a while, but I wish for the best. But it always kind of shocked my friends one day. My friend goes, hey man, what's her name on The Bachelor?

I'm like, what do you mean? I'm not going to say her name, but what's her name on the Bachelor? I go, what's her name, what's her name, what's her name, what's her name, what's her name, what's her name? Would never do The Bachelor. Jeff Hagen would never do, are you kidding me? No, no, she's in Montreal. She would never, and it went on and on and finally go, dude, I go, I go, I would bet my house. That's not her.

She would never do that. It was. Did she make it far? Well, look, she won the Bachelor. She won the Bachelor a couple of years ago. And she's a great girl. And I was dating this girl, and I was at the premiere for Guardians of the Galaxy 2, which I was in. I was having a great night.

And then this girl comes over and goes, hey, she would like to come, she'd like you to come say hi to her and her bachelor. And I'm like, no. And then later on, we had a couple emails that were nice. Like later on, I was saying, hey, it was good stuff, but whatever. And she's like, well, you know, you're the one who didn't want to come over and say, I didn't want to come over and say hello. I was with a girl that was odd. Why would I want to do that? And by the way...

And also, why wouldn't you just come over and say hi? Why I sent somebody... And why were you on the bachelor? And by the way, she's again, this is, I don't know how... Did they stay together? I don't know how else... No. Okay.

No, but I, you know... Was she blonde? Was she blonde? No. Okay. What sucks is this. I liked her. And if she would have moved to L.A.

Or at least been open to the idea of that. But the fact that it was just, it was just kind of, it was just kind of my friends and I were taking aback when all of a sudden, you know, that wasn't even And if that wasn't, she's not moving here, I'm not moving there, done. Yeah. And then all of a sudden she's on The Bachelor. Yeah. It was just kind of shocking to me.

So, yeah, so, Kaysen. Yeah, yeah. Casey Kaysen? Roger. Roger Kaysen, it didn't work out. But your friend still? He's not very active on Facebook. Maybe he broke his heart.

Maybe he's a recluse now. I don't know. I don't know. I'm sure he's fine. I'm sure he's doing just fine. Good looking guy. Came from a good family. Good family.

Yeah. So. He's probably listening going, That bitch. I didn't want her. She drank too much. Are you a drinker? I like having some wine, but I do keep drinking in check.

I mean, I come from a long line of alcoholics. You do? I do. Your dad? Everybody. I'm glad he's not a vascular surgeon anymore. Not when he was doing surgery, but since he retired, yes. And my mom and then my...

I mean, when you're saying alcoholics, that's a very... That's a heavy word. Like, when I think of, like, certain people, I'm like, oh, no, not an... alcoholic they like some drinks here and there but they were alcoholics is what you're saying i define alcoholics by if if your personality changes when you drink oh yeah let me tell you that because people can drink a lot and they're fine and that's the biggest issue for me it's when the personality changes if you here's what i said to my um i'm not going to mention their name i said this to a friend or whatever i just said hey look i love you you're the most amazing person in

the world so when you get drunk I just I don't know you and you get a little volatile and it's unpredictable and I just don't like this person I've said it to family members right when I drink I'm aware I'm hypersensitive and sometimes I'm like God I wish I wasn't so aware of myself because I I don't like go nuts or anything but I'm controlled like I don't want my personality to change I don't want to become unpredictable and when it gets angry or volatile or they make big because first of all, I don't care who you are. Alcohol, when you start drinking and start doing drugs,

you make mistakes, man. I don't care if you're an alcoholic or not. I've made many mistakes because I was just drinking and I felt good. So I was like, oh, I'll do that. Right. Not a good decision. So I'm not a big drinker. But you're right. I think if your personality changes and if the person with you doesn't like that personality, that's a problem. Right. Now, when I was, when I was going to NYU, when I was in college, I definitely had an alcohol problem. And one of the reasons why I left New York to come to L.A. was I knew that in L.A. I wouldn't drink as much because you have to drive.

And I don't drink and drive. So New York was a scary, because you can just drink and drink and drink and drink and drink all night long. And hop in a cab. And hop in a cab. And there were, I had a couple bad experiences where, like, I'd, you know, wake up in the doorway or, like, pass out in a cab. And, like, so nothing ever really bad happened. but they scared me enough. And by the way, I was like 20 years old.

20, 21 is what you're supposed to learn when you're, although I was drinking. Thank God. At 21 when you start drinking, you're supposed to. So you realize by yourself that this is dangerous? I realized it was dangerous and it wasn't serving me. And so when I moved to L.A., I just didn't drink. And, like, I would never have a drink if I went out and I was driving. Like, I became the designated driver amongst all.

my friends because I also felt like I was the only one I could trust to know that I wouldn't sneak a drink you know sometimes you go out with people and they're like I'll drive and then you look over and they're like down and tequila shots and you're like oh they said they were going to drive and I'm a better driver when I'm drunk no no no no no I really am I'm like dude I'm not having this conversation dude I can handle my dream how many years have yet I've had 10 I don't even have a buzz but it doesn't matter you get pulled over anything at your reflex to slow down I'm very aware of that. How about you're going to kill someone?

Yeah, you're going to kill someone. Yeah, you're going to prison for your life. How about B, you are going to go to jail and you're going to spend $20,000 for a ticket? Yeah. How about C, take a fucking cab or two? I know, I know. Yeah. So it was good for me to get out of New York and come to L.A.

So now, like, I like having a glass of wine. I never have more than two. I always stop it too. I never drink and drive. It's just, you know. And I never lose control. because I don't because I come I do feel like alcoholism can be genetic I don't want to know if my personality changes so I just tell you if you're my friend I would tell you yeah I rain it in and I you know but I do like my Pina Noir but I also I don't like all the calories associated with it either did you ever get in a Coke I never did drugs you know I could I never could be a Coke addict because I was just so congested the next day I was just like you know I talked about that I was like I just can't do you this. I mean, I felt great for a minute. My heart almost popped out of my chest, but I just can't

breathe. Yeah, I never, I never got into marijuana, anything. Like, I just was never, I mean, I think I smoked a little pot in college and it tore up my, um, I really tore up my throat. Um, and I, and I didn't like the way. I don't know, my throat hurts. I know, like it really, somebody's out there going to prove. I know. And so I just didn't like it. You might be allergic. Because I'm allergic to weed, but if I smoke too much, like my um, uvula swells up. Is that what it is? It might be, yeah, I don't know. I mean, my mom is allergic to nightshades. So it's probably. Nightshades. Yeah, it's like a type of plant. Like some kind of, some kind of herbs she can't have. And I'm like, I am allergic to weed. I love how Mia just the first thing she says is about weed. Oh, I'll chime in there. I'm going to chime in about my mom and night shades and I can't smoke weed, but I still do. I love it. Thank you for that. I like to. I just, I just, I mean, we. I don't know. I mean, we to me tastes like like um fertilizer like it just tastes like fertilizer like I'm like why would you put I I CBD stuff really helps me though I love that stuff I do some CBD balms for like um pain and I I've been sent some CBD stuff to try because I do suffer from

insomnia um and I'm just too afraid to try it because I don't really try I don't really take anything I'm very like I I'm very careful with that stuff and you know what really helps me I'm gonna I'm gonna save you guys sleep therapy and all this other shit it's so simple you have to do it for like a month magnesium every night done that your body needs magnesium and a lot of people are alone I'm tell I take magnesium and I'm out I really do you have to stick with it for a while so I was doing that for a while didn't notice a different my problem is I fall asleep really easy and I tend to I fall asleep really early too like 830 9 o'clock i'm out but like last night i woke up at one in the morning and was like staring at the ceiling so then are you nervous about being on this podcast i was excited a little bit i was such a fan well thank you by the way now listen this is this is crazy because you know some people i have interviewed like some my peers like yourself like rain wilson and uh uh uh shan gunn and they're just like dude i love your pocket and it makes me feel so good And not only that, but you will, you'll, you'll direct message me.

I listen to this episode. I really loved it. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And my friends, shout out to Lisa Lorla. Shout out to Alex Fadovich, Vatovich, my favorite bitch. That's what I call her. And, you know, she's, I mean, they just, it's so supportive. And I love it because I really do love doing this.

And it's, you're really good at it. Well, thank you. I didn't expect to be. What it is, I just like talking to people. So I don't think of it as being good at it. I just like, I really like talking to people. and this forces me when I put these headphones on to like going I'm just with you right now

I can just hear you I'm not distracted my ADD's not really kicking it so by the way I want to know what your favorite episodes were that you've listened to Jennifer Love Hewitt I mean I was bawling bawling it was beautiful and for her to just speak so honestly

about losing her mother and what she went through I remember I was doing some housework and like just was sitting there crying just sobbing. And then Chris Sullivan was fantastic. He said a lot of things that I had to go and grab my journal and write stuff down and like rewind and like replay it and like write it down and because I was going through a little bit of a rough time and it really helped me a lot. I took a lot of things away from that. And by the way, that's unbelievable.

And Chris Sullivan and I, as you know. The new podcast, which I love to. Guys, by the way, segue, just if you can, please subscribe and support that. it's called In Love with Michael Rosamum, Chris Sullivan. Just give it a shot. Press subscribe, listen to it, whoever you are out there, listen to me. You know, I love you and thank you. And, Julie, I, you know, this is a long time coming.

And you're much interesting than I thought you'd be on the show. No, because you never know. You talk to people, but I don't really know that much about you other than she's cool. She's smart. She's pretty. I see around. She's a good actress. But then it's like, okay, how are they going to be as I guess?

You just never know. I've had guests where I thought they're going to be amazing. And so this was very engaging. Like, I feel like I could honestly talk to you forever. You're very open. I mean, Jeff Hagan. Jeff Hagan. I mean, you talk about your divergenized.

I'm so embarrassing. I just, I'm getting sweaty. You are. Are you still friends with your ex-husband? I mean, we're not enemies, but, like, there's no reason to really hang out. Yeah, your husband doesn't want to see your ex-husband. It's not bad. It's, I mean, I, I'm not the girl who, I feel like, okay,

We dated, we got married, we tried to make it work, it didn't work, we got divorced, move on, you know. But like if I see him, because I saw him at a convention, he's happily married now, John Casier. Do I know him? The Voice of the Crip Keeper from Charles from the Cript. What? Yeah. Hello, girls and goose, boys and goos. That guy, the original?

Yeah, the original. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Could he sign something for me? Well, you could probably ask him. It's your ex. On your own, but not, not for me.

Oh my God, Julie's calling. Julie, I haven't talked to you since. Yeah, listen, Michael Rosenbaum's a big fan of the gripkeeper. All right, so that's good. You're your healthy person. What works with you in your husband? What is it that keeps you like happy and centered and safe? What is it about him that you just go, this is, I like this?

I mean, we respect each other a lot. We're very independent because he has like his career. I have mine and, you know, We don't take each other for granted. And we make sure we spend time together. I think spending time together is important. Do you have a rule when you're working? You have to see each other every...

Yeah, we try not to go longer than two to three weeks without seeing each other. And I don't think we've ever broken that rule. But we just make it work. When I was filming in Toronto in Defiance, and he was there for season one because we had just gotten married and he was in between jobs. So he just came and stayed for all of season one. But then season two and season three, he was flying back and forth a lot. But he'd be like, I have to go to New York for a meeting. And I'd be like, well, I'm not working.

So I'll just pop down to New York to see you. Like it just was like, so we started doing more of that kind of stuff. And how long have you been married? Seven years now. Seven years. Yeah. I got to meet him. He's fantastic.

I'm excited. He's amazing. He's a great guy. He's the best representation of me, of all my good parts. Isn't that something? Like I always say, look at my friends. If you don't like me, look at my friends because they're great. Yeah.

You know, my grandma, look at her. Whenever people meet my husband, they're like, wow, he's amazing. And I'm like, I know. Yeah, that's a cool thing. So you're still doing the cons. I see at conventions every once in a while. You also, you're on a new series, your regular, a god, you're recurring on, what is it?

On becoming a god in central Florida. On becoming a god in central Florida. I saw the billboard on Sunset Boulevard or something. Yes. Now, what's that about? It's centered around an Amway-esque type pyramid scheme in the early 1990s outside of central Florida. And it stars Kirsten Dunst. Do you like her?

I do. She's fun to work with? You know, she was amazing because here she was, she had a four-month-old baby producing this show, very involved in the producing side of it, not just like, you know, some actors are just a name-only producing. No, she was a very involved producer. on the show starring in it like literally in almost every scene tired but handle it like a pro I mean she's a pro I mean she's been

doing it since she was you talk to her at all I did are you friends like now like do you ever text her and say hey Kirston No I don't know Kirsten Kirsten Kirsten Kirsten Kirsten Kirsten do you ever say hey Dirste Dirste Dunst what's up It's Ben's Duntz

No because I'm just not that So you don't do that no I don't really do that to a lot of people I kind of was hoping that you'd say you do know her so maybe you can get her on the show i could ask yeah why not next time i see her i've always liked her she's phenomenal she's so cool so down to earth and extremely supportive of like other cast members too you know i mean like that's not always present no it's like me me me me we could all do that but that's nice when someone's like uh you got your back i remember i was talking to her about pilot season or something and i was nervous and she looked at me and she's like well you'll get

something you're good and i was like oh that's nice i was like can you just just call me every morning and tell me that remind me of that. You're like, oh my God, I loved interview of the vampire. She's like, don't talk about that. I was eight. This has been a real treat for me. Thank you. Your handles

on social? Social Instagram, Julie Ben's MFT. Yeah, follower. You're so dynamic. You're so great. You got this new show. Yeah. You're occurring on. What else? Anything else you want to say? No, just that this has been a dream of mind to come on this podcast. Really? Come on.

Yes. Well, guys. I'm such a fan. Hey, this has been a real treat. I'm really excited about this. Thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for being on the show. Oh, thank you.

And guys, in love with Michael Roseman and Chris Sullivan also listen to that. Is that it? Thank you for allowing me to be inside of you. Thank you. Yeah. I've always wanted you to say that. Really? Oh, my God.

Hey, by the way, before we go, I want to end on the new album left on Laurel, my band. I don't know if you know, Kent and Carl and me and Tom Lally and dancing, but you know, we're just kind of a fun band, but we made an album, man. I think you guys are going really like it. So we're going to play this song. It's called Beautiful Mess. And if you like it, check it out on iTunes and all that stuff. And much love. Thanks, everybody. Holden on to the end Never say never It's better than being alone

Forever is forever Holding on to my friend Never saying whatever Better than being alone Football season is here. Oh, man. Believe has the podcast to enhance your football experience. From the pros.

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