Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - KEVIN NEALON: Tonight Show Over SNL, Comedy Show Shootouts & The Face Plant That Killed a Pitch

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

Kevin Nealon (SNL, Weeds, Hiking with Kevin) joins us this week for a quietly honest conversation that goes a lot deeper than you would expect. Kevin tells the story of an active shooter scare at his Bridgeport stand up show that ended with him hiding behind a dumpster, the audiences who keep dropping mid set as his fans get older, and why the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, not SNL, was the real dream he was chasing the whole time. We also get into Garry Shandling as his mentor and dearn late friend, the Sandler private jet tour where he only did ten minutes a night, and the surprises that came with walking into Carrie Fisher's house. Thank you to our sponsors: 🔹 Blue Chew: bluechew.com + “inside” 🛍️ Shopify: https://shopify.com/inside __________________________________________________ 💖 Patreon: ⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/insideofyou⁠⁠ 👕 Inside Of You Merch: ⁠⁠https://store.insideofyoupodcast.com/⁠⁠ __________________________________________________ Watch or listen to more episodes! 📺 ⁠⁠https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/show⁠⁠ __________________________________________________ Follow us online! 📸 Instagram: ⁠⁠https://instagram.com/insideofyoupodcast/⁠⁠ 🤣 TikTok: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@insideofyou_podcast⁠⁠ 📘 Facebook: ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/insideofyoupodcast/⁠⁠ 🐦 Twitter: ⁠⁠https://twitter.com/insideofyoupod⁠⁠ 🌐 Website: ⁠⁠https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Wayfair, every style, every home. You are listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Thanks so much for listening. Thanks so much for being here and supporting our little podcast. Ryan's here. I'm here. Ryan. I just went on a trip.

Barely. Barely. He's barely here. We've got a great episode. If you haven't caught up to the other episodes or if you're here for Kevin Neeland, who I love. And you like the podcast, all I'm asking is if you like it, subscribe, write a review. And if you really love this show and you want to join a great community and make some new friends and there's so many perks, go to patreon.com slash inside of you. And there's different tiers.

If you want to help the podcast, they range from $5 a month to whatever. And, you know, you can get boxes from me of gifts and, uh, you know, you can get boxes. Zooms and YouTube lives and be a guest on the freaking show and ask questions to guest and lots of things. So join patreon.com slash inside of you. Also, I'm on Instagram at the Michael Rosenbaum. You can follow me if you want. I find myself a little amusing at times. Sometimes.

I'm on the cameo. What were we doing? We're going to Philadelphia, the con fan expo in Philadelphia. Tom and I will be there. And we're doing a small. nights. So get tickets to smallville nights. And let's rock it out in Philly. You know, it's my first consens I had surgery. So hopefully it will go well. We're doing the smallville nights and all that. We got the cruise coming up. Um, Chicago con. We got, what else do we have? Boston, um, Nashville,

Houston. Nashville's going to be amazing because it's the whole cast pretty much. And the Cruzville. We have a lot of people going this year in Cruzville. Make sure there's still tickets for me at cruisville.com. You can get, uh, be at my. Pajama, Lex Luthor's Pajama party slash karaoke. I'm also doing a, we're doing a smallville nights there. I'm also had a sold out dinner with just me. So if you want to, we have a new one, another dinner. And if I don't sell it out, Ryan's coming in for the dinner.

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The talented farter, the cartoon. All right. Yeah. So we'll see. I don't know how real that is, but we're getting into the, we're getting into it. We'll see what happens. Great guest today. I have to tell you, I love this guy.

He just makes me really freaking laugh. He's been making me laugh since I saw him in SNL doing the subliminal guy. Spulminal guy. Yeah, I was hoping we could hang out later, hot sex, and maybe watch a movie. You know, just he's so funny. One half of Huns and Franz. Yeah, he's got, he's done so much. He's in the new mermaid movie, which looks freaking epic.

He's got hiking with Kevin. I hope to be a guest someday. Kevin, come on, man. It's not like I'm just like some complete Joe Schmo. I mean, I'm a Joe Schmo, but come on. All right. I love this guy. Let's just get inside of Kevin Eelan.

Where you get nervous for a role. Oh my God. I get panicked. Do you get anxiety? Yeah, I live with anxiety. What are you doing? I was just taking a live picture. I always get nervous, but that's fun.

I look forward to it. Let's get everything out of today we can. And how much time do you have left? And how are you going to use? it well. So come on now. We would have to do another inside of you. But actually, but that's kind of what you're doing, Michael. I mean, you're on this road, this journey of what's inside of you.

Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. How do you feel, Kevin? Well, you know what? I feel pretty good. My knees were a little sore going up and down the stairs. And if I do a little, a lot of like, strenuous walking or hills, they're sore after that. You have a show called Hiking with Kevin. I do.

So why would you do that? Because I started before this all happened. And now you just got to keep it going. Every time I try to quit, somebody goes, hey, you should, we love that show, man, don't ever stop. But then I stopped for a long time. And then I start again. I'm not doing it right now.

Right. You love it, though. I do. You know what? It's one of you. I really. I told you. I love it.

I go, I can't wait until he runs out of guests so we can call me. Because it is real, because it's big celebrities. I ran out of a long time ago. You haven't heard from me? No. No, it's everybody. It's big guests, a little guest, people I don't know. Anybody.

Yeah. But, yeah, so that's what's going on with me. But I feel pretty good, you know? My back is a little stiff in the morning. But it's good that you are, this motivates you, you have to hike when you do this. Well, you know what I have to do, and I should do is more stretching. Yeah, and also building up the quads because that helps with the knees. Yeah.

But it's just, and then it's hard. I don't want to get down and stretch. You know what I mean? Are you not very flexible? Not very like, I'm flexible, but it's just, you know, it's getting down and it's gotten on the roller and all that stuff, you know. And it's easy just to say, I'm not going to do it. How about a massage? You?

Well, no. If I could. Thank you very much. I'm pretty good. No, but I have gotten massages before. I love them. I have someone who would just work you to death. Really?

That really, it's like a workout. Yeah, because you need to move the muscles around, right? you move things around you it's like uh kneading what is it like dough like what is it yeah needing needing yeah so it's like you know you just got to kind of loosen it up and you probably stiff a lot you're probably achy oh yeah totally man especially in the mornings but i did have a guy you ever here of ralph this brought to you by spectrum what is it a centrum silver is that like adville for older people it's a vitamin centrum silver oh yeah yeah but go ahead so there was this guy in new york when i lived in new york He did a raw thing, I think it's called.

Yeah. Deep tissue. And they'd get in everywhere. And he would even get into the nose like that, you know? And he was a smoker. So his fingers smelled like nicotine. And they were kind of yellow the whole time. God.

And it was kind of disgusting. But it did work? I don't even think it worked. He's addicted to cigarettes now, though. I became addicted to cigarettes. Now I chew. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

Yeah, you know, it's funny. You talk about aches and pains, because you're talking about because of the surgery I just had. But, you know, it's weird how you start. Like when you're in your 20s and 30s and 40s, I don't, I never thought of my mortality. And then I hit like, I'm almost 54 now. And I'm just like, well, I know it doesn't sound. You're not that much older.

Not too much. You're like an older brother. Let's see, you're 54? Yeah. 72. No, you're, no. You're not. You're not.

What are you 60? 60. Come on, man. 64. Three. Honest to God. Holy. Yeah.

59 I'm 72 how are you 70 you look you really look great doesn't he on the outside but I told you what's going on on the inside everything's worn down I'm like an old boat do you patchwork patchwork do you think do you start thinking of your own mortality oh yeah you do you really do I started at 20 I start a long road right no I think about it a lot lately but you know what makes me feel good I see these people like Mc Jagger you know still performing and running up and down that ramp, you know? And I go, well, yeah. They're doing all right, man.

And I see these old people campaigning politicians. And they're like a night and day, they're up, and they're like 80. And my wife says, God, if they could do that, you could do that. I said, yeah, I get on the wheelchair first. You know? But, you know, I think about mortality. I've always thought about, when you have a kid,

you think about it more. How old you kid? He's 19. So you want to be around. for a long time for your kid. Yeah. So that kind of is a motivator for me. Yeah.

So I take care of myself. And would you not, you think if you didn't have a kid? You think you'd take care of yourself last? That's a good question. That's a good question. I would let somebody else take care of me. I think so. You would?

No, I think I would always take care of myself. But with having a kid, though, it's even extra. Like, I won't get into a fight now. If there's a bar room brawl, I won't jump into it. Le Mili? If there's a melee. Mealy? Is that one's no?

Melee. I won't do that. I won't go bungee cord jumping. Good. I won't either. You know what I mean? I won't play in some of the really tough clubs. Hey, you know what?

I was in a club. I was in a club. You'll get a kick out of this. I was in a club a couple years ago in Bridgeport, my hometown. And it's a Saturday. I do a stand-up bag. I'm doing my first show. What great.

I go to the green room. I hear stampede going past the green room. I stick in my head. I go, well, what's going on? Somebody else, active shooter. What? And there's a woman getting trampled. Yeah.

There's a woman getting trampled on the ground and everybody's just running out. And so I kind of left. I didn't tell my opener what was going on. He was back there. I just shut the door left. And he was better safer in there because of a metal door.

But yeah, so I went out. outside with everybody else and I went down in the garage and I hid behind the metal dumpster and the bartender was already there and she was about to crawl into the garbage. I said, well, don't go yet, man, let's wait. I'll keep a lookout. Anyway, it turns out the guy was not even inside. He was across the street in the front, which

where everybody was exiting to and he was in the park just shooting off a gun with his buddy and they were drunk. So I go into the showroom after that and it looked like the Titanic ballroom. People had tipped over chairs, there's broken glass everywhere, because everybody's on edge. Yeah. You know, when there's, somebody yells out active shooter, that's yelling out fire in a theater.

And people run. Jesus, that's intense. Intense. So the second show, half of the people left, we delayed it for like an hour. And then, you know, I got back on. Was it just weird going on after? It was weird.

You weren't even really there. Like, you're like, ah, I'm going to do my set, but like you're not. Everybody's thinking about the fire, you know. Like there's a guy, you know, now as I'm getting older, my audiences are getting older, and it concerns me because some of them aren't taking very good care of themselves, right? And they're dropping a lot.

They're dropping during my shows. No. Yeah. In the last two years, they've had to stop the show like six times because somebody collapsed, fell off the chair onto the floor, and it's everything. It's from dehydration. It's from, you know, a seizure or a heart issue.

And probably the biggest laugh I've ever gotten. There was, I was in New York City at the comedy seller. I was doing my gig, my act, and there was a big commotion off to the right. And I go, and people said, somebody got 911, 911, some woman had fallen off the chair. And I was right in the middle of doing like a cookie bet, a bit of cookies. And I said, you know, so I have these chocolate chip cookies. You know, I like to take the chocolate chip and then it happened. And they stopped the show.

The lights are on. It took like maybe 20 minutes for them to get her out. And the EMTs came and everything. And then they finally shut the lights off and they started the show again. I went, yeah, I just take the chocolate chip cookies out of the cookie and just exactly where I left off. You got a huge laugh. Oh my God. When you make the piano player lap, you know that that is a great.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, so there's just chocolate chip cookies. You know, I eat them, you know, all at once, you know. inside of you is brought to you by blue chew look i have my package of blue chew right here blue chew gold yes guys ladies whoever if you're in the mood for better sex you need this what's great about these is you take them they dissolve under your tongue and you not only get excited but you uh you start

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And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast and giving boners to people around the world. Thank you. Do you still love it as much as you didn't? Yeah, yeah, man. There's nothing like, you know, an audience, a room full of people laughing all at once. That's something you created. Yeah. I don't like the traveling at all.

No. You know. Or the socializing. What's the part of the work or the socializing? By work, do you mean the traveling? Traveling? Traveling. Traveling is harder.

Traveling. Yeah. You don't like to change planes. I don't like to change planes. I don't mind flying. I used to, you know, I've probably flown a trillion miles. It used to be kind of like, I was a little fearful of flying, you know, the turbulence. But then at a certain point, I can't fight this anymore.

I just got to give in. I got to surrender to it. And I've loved that ever since then. The plane could be upside down and I'd still be reading my book. you know i get so much stuff done wow i'm learning how to tie knots rope knots that's my latest come on yeah it's true clove hitch you know slip knot slip knot all these all these bowline and so um i found it interesting on a plane when you pull out six feet of rope the person next has no idea what's going on and i'm lassoing the flight attendants in the pregnant of it

i'm just working on my knots me and will rogers You seem calm all the time. Like, you really do seem calm. But I wonder, someone who appears calm all the time, are you really a calm person? Yeah. And I like to see, like, when do you get angry? What's the last time you get angry? You know what?

My big thing is incompetence. When somebody doesn't do what they're supposed to do. Right. You know, and that kind of makes me angry. But I am very calm. And sometimes I question why am that calm. Like, I could drop a bowl of oatmeal in the kitchen. in Florida thing shatters his oatmeal everywhere and my son turns and looks at it and I look at him

and I go whoopsie I don't even like get angry yeah just pick it up and I put it away um but yeah of course I get mad you know I'm starting to do that now like uh my girlfriend's dog I took him out went all the way up the stairs in the back patio peed he poop took him back downstairs turned on a show that I was watching Barry I just started Barry oh that's a great show good show And I'm sitting there and I look down and there he is. I thought I heard something which made me look down. And sure enough, he's pissing. And it is the longest piss.

And I'm just staring at this dog as he continues to piss. And I just go, all right, buddy. And I just walked in, got some of the, you know, urine shit. Bear spray. Yeah. Got him out of there. I got him out of there. No.

And I cleaned it up. And I, it wasn't until later, I go, wow, I'm different. I would be like, what the fuck are you doing? God damn, and I just took you out. Yeah, I don't do that. I just was like, all right, this is what it is. This is what it is. I can't change it.

Right, right. And I was proud of myself. It is a nice feeling you think I'm going to live a long time. And it's not like you're holding it in or anything. It's just like, well, that's life, you know. Here's what I have a problem with. And you have dogs, so you don't really mind. You probably are one of these people.

I go to hotel, some nice, really nice hotels, pet friendly. And you go to those rooms and you know some dog has peed on the carpet. And you're down in the rug, you're stretching. But you don't see that.

Something, yeah, I do. Oh, okay. I don't like it, but I do it. Ideally, I do it three times a day. But I don't. So that's the problem I have with these hotels that allow pets. And if I had a pet, I would love it.

I thought this is great, but I don't have a pet. And when you're paying like $125 a night for a room you don't want dog pee on the road 125 yeah man you're a nice hotel big room nice now it's closet size yeah the york you know i always remember when i was doing the stand-up i just did it for like a year and i was going every night to like comedy store and this and that and i just remember you being very supportive you were always very cool and sometimes i'd be you know nervous before i get out he goes you just come up to go michael how's it going i go it's going yeah you go you're good you're just

getting ready. He's like, you mind if I jump in front of you? I said, no, Kevin, please. No, did I say that? Yeah. I didn't, no, I didn't care. I must have had some place to go, because I normally would never do that. No, but you were really kind of like, listen, would you mind if I jumped in front of me? I'm doing this other thing. You were really sweet about it. Oh, that's nice. But I used to hate that when the big comics came in. No, you weren't like that. They would do that to you? Oh, God. Do you remember who? Oh, it was everybody that was at the comedy store back, you know, in the 1900s. And you end up going up at 2 a.m. When you're in the, when you're in the, you know, open mic nights,

they bring people in. Or even like when you're starting out. Yay, so-and-so wants to do a set. Oh, okay. So now when I don't like to do that because I remember that. But you still do. But I still do it. Yeah.

You know, I've got to move on, baby. Pay my dues. Have you always been sort of like, I guess what I'm saying is when you were younger, like how did you find your comedy? Where did the comedy come from? And where did your style? Did you adapt? Were you kind of big and outrageous at one time?

Did you find that this is my lane? This is what I'm going to do. You know, I was never big and outrageous. I've always been that kind of low-key, dry comic. So growing up, I was influenced by a lot of those types of comics that were dry and low-key. And then, you know, as I got older, I started liking people like Albert Brooks and Andy Kaufman, Steve Martin. You know, I was looking for the different, you know, the uniqueness, the originality and stand-ups,

which is really important. because there's like a zillion comics. You know, everybody's doing comedy. And that's fine, you know? It's saying everybody's got, I think, a funny side to them. And then social media now, I think people are coming up quicker. You know, they're like, I talked to some comics. They've been doing comedy for a year.

Hey, I'm taping my first special next week. Oh, really? That didn't happen then. No. It took forever. And there's no word you could do a special except for HBO, basically. But now you could do your own channel, YouTube channel. Does that honestly deep down?

kind of annoy you that you don't have to do as much work i don't like to say that but i think it probably does i think you know it was more difficult when i was coming up but i appreciate it more now you know yeah but with that kind of you know that that opportunity they have now is that they don't spend their whole life realizing that they're not good you know what i mean yeah it takes them like maybe three months go yeah no one's looking at this no one's following me next thing yeah how could I make money on YouTube exactly yeah that's true have you tried to make money on YouTube as well yeah I mean hiking with Kevin's on there monetized probably does really well it's monetizing millions and millions and millions of dollars but I think you make decent money on it it's

something extra much really yeah it's good what do they call a mailbox money mailbox money yeah do you still get residuals for any projects that you did yeah I don't know what they are because I never look You never look. No. Your business manager against those or your wife? Well, my wife is my business manager. No.

That's not true. That would not be good. That would not be good. But you know what's funny about followers on YouTube and Instagram? I posted something that I posted a long time ago. I reposted it. It was me at the Museum of Modern Art pranking somebody. There was starry night painting Vincent Bingo on the wall.

No one else on the wall. just that artist, and everybody's looking at it. They're taking pictures and videos. I don't know why videos, it's not that good of painting. Nothing's going to happen. You know, it's not going to be a shooting star. So I go to the woman next to me, I go, excuse me, is this a famous painting? And she goes, yes.

Oh, and who painted it? Vincent Van Gogh. He said, Van who? Van Gogh? Oh, my God. I said, well, I don't get it. Why is it that an adult painted? Is it because of the frame?

How much are they selling it for? You upset this woman. Oh my God. What's the price? What are they asking for? You can't buy it. You can't buy it. It's like you don't know who the Mona Lisa is.

And she walks off. She goes, wow. I yelled after her. Leonardo DiCaprio. Montalisa, come on. Think I'm an idiot. And how many hits did that? But that was like almost 30 million people.

What? Yeah. I mean, 30 million views is how much money, Ryan. Do you ever think about taking all the money you, having the bank and put it on your bed you just run your fingers for it you know um one time i went to a convention and they gave me cash comic con it was a comic con and my grandmother was always worried about me even after success she thought i didn't have any money michael you sickle you need to you need to watch your money or you're not you're not buying me a tv you're not buying me a chair i don't need it and i

finally came to where I go, do you know, look at this? And I dumped an envelope full of cash on the couch next to my grandma Blanche. And she goes, oh my God, will you look at that? And I go, yeah. So next time I say I want to buy you something, just let me buy you something because it makes me feel good. And she goes, all right, it's your money. But that's a true moment. But it was like, yeah, so did I, yeah, not my whole bank account, but enough to go, wow, this is, I've never seen this much cash. Oh, I know, I know. Have you ever done that?

Just when I was shoveling driveways, like a kid. I put it all the, like trick or tree. You put all the candy on the bed. But I remember, you know, I like to pick up the bill when I go out to dinner. I don't know if it's, I feel like it's a guilt thing if I don't or, you know, I feel I'm obligated to. And Sarah Silverman told me once she goes, yeah, people kind of like fight you for it, you know, like they want to pay. And here's how I shut them down. I just go, please, I'm rich. Look, I'm rich. Let me handle this. I'm rich. You're not, you're not rich. I'm rich.

You know, I never, do you ever do roasts? No. I bet you don't do roast. I bet you get asked to, but you don't want to. I have been asked before. I did do one roast, actually. It was, Whoopi Goldberg when Ted Danson had the black face. Oh. It was that long ago. But I did like a subliminal thing, a character he said to do on SNL.

Wait, subliminal man? Yeah. I love subliminal man. Dude, it was great. Ryan, you have to look up subliminal man. Because he would do this some, yeah, you know, he talked to this woman. I remember this one scene you're talking to her.

You're like, yeah, this is great. You know, it was a great dinner. You know, maybe we could listen to some music, hot sex. and maybe we could just hang out for a while, hot sex. You know, if you want to, we could also cook a meal hot sex. Yeah, that was it, right? Yeah, it would be other words in hot sex. You know, hey, why don't we go out and have some dinner at your treat?

And we'll just have a good time. I mean, I know a lot of the waitresses are at this restaurant hookers, and they're really, really nice. It was great. I love Subliminal Man. That is great. That was a phone one. Inside of You is brought to you by Shopify. Listen to me.

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com slash inside. What were you saying about subliminal man? Oh, yeah. So I did that as the Whoopi Goldberg roast. I just did a lot of those. I slipped a lot of those words in there. But I've never done like, you know, the Jeff Ross kind of roast. Because those are, I.

I am astonished that those people are sitting there getting beaten like that. Like some of it is so cruel that I'm like, it's funny, but like, that has to hurt. Yeah, I asked Jeff Rossott. I said, don't you worry about hurting these people's feelings? No, they like, I do it in good jest. And, you know, they know that we're just kidding and stuff, you know. But when he was doing the Tom Brady roast, Tom Brady got up and told him in his ear, he goes, don't do that. He was talking about something.

I don't know what it was. his ex-wife or something. And he stopped. He came over to Jeff Rod's like, he said, don't do that. Don't talk about that. And so he stopped talking about it. Really? Yeah.

Was that scene on TV? Yeah. You can look at the Tom Brady Rose. He says, he says, don't do that. Yeah. Stay away from that or something like that. I wonder if he would have went and said it if Tom would have hit him. He says that in all of his huddles too when he's playing football.

Don't run over there. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't want to do that. Yeah. But do you think, like, you wouldn't want to get up there and roast that kind of way. If I had really good material, and depending on who they were roasting,

you know, I can do it. Who would you like to roast? Who would be the easiest for you to be like, I'm game? I'll nail that guy or gal. I don't know, man. There's so many people out there. You know, I never thought about it because I never thought I'd do a roast. Samler? No, I mean, I kind of roasted him once when he was getting the

Mark Twain Award. A prize, it's called. Spade? Yeah, I can do Spade. Yeah, he's got a good sense of humor. John Lovitz. Love it. It would be easy, I mean? Acting.

Who are you really close friends with AIDS? Because you're a private person. You do your thing. You do your stand-up. You have your family. You have a lot of celebrity friends. But are there some that you actually talk to a lot? Dana Carrey and I talk quite a bit on the phone.

I don't see him that often because he lives north of here. So, but yeah, we're pretty close. Kirk Fox, friend of mine. I love Kurt. And speaking of which. Fox and you did a movie called Mermaid. Yeah. Now, I saw a trailer for this and I had no idea.

And I was riveted. I thought this looks my kind of movie. You talk about Mermaid? Mermaid. The one that we did? Yeah. It's twisted. It's like it looks like, oh my God, I don't know what's going to happen here.

Yeah, I'm anxious to see it. When is it out? May 26th, released, you know, publicly. So this would be on streamers? It's going to be in theaters. It'll be in theaters to start off with. Yeah. That way it's qualified for an Oscar. Yeah, of course. Well, tell me about like the character you play and tell me about what we can expect without giving it away. Well, I love the beginning of the movie because it's so, it grabs you right away. You know, and this is where you first see the mermaid or sort of see it. It's dark and you hear the splashing. Right. You know, and then it's, it's, it's,

it's been shot by Tom Arnold with a shotgun because he's on the boat. Perfect. Yeah. And he's drunk and he gets scared and shoots it. My character, Keith, I play the new husband of, you know, the woman in the movie.

And her ex is played by Johnny Pemberton, great actor. And he's a percassette addict. He finds them or a wounded and it's not just the regular mermaid it's a horrific looking mermaid you know it's almost like an alien kind of a face okay I'm digging it and so he gets her all hopped up on percocet so that he can keep her in the house in the bathtub right and then he's got the drug

dealers coming after him because he owes the money and he's trying to juggle the the mermaid and also trying to make amends with his ex-wife and I'm just the new husband you know who's just kind of taking it all in and trying to you know make things smooth things over a little bit and try to, you know, warm up to my daughter-in-law, my, was it stepdaughter? I guess it would be stepdaughter. Yeah. Do you, is this something you were just offered?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never pass an audition. Everything's not offered to me. Is it? It's, weeds was offered to me. Really? I did have to audition for that. Yeah, I did audition for that.

Do you mind auditioning if it's something you really want? Of course not. No, I'll do that. Yeah, I go with it. I got great small talk when I go in that room. I try to delay the reading as long as possible. To the point where they don't even need it. They don't need it.

They see the personality. But you know what I heard is that when you go in, I've been talking some casting directors and I'm seeing them on social media, they know like when the first 10 seconds, if they're going to use it or not. Yeah, if you're right for it. But unfortunately, how often do you go in rooms anymore?

It's always on tape and you don't get to see the personality, which means that guys like us, that I feel like my personality is, you know, kind of engaging in fun. No, you could get a deal in Shark Tank. You could sell anything to them a Shark Tank. Thank you. That's what I think.

Yeah. But going into the room as part of it, walking in, having a confidence, you know, and then to be able to deliver. Here's, here was my worst experience. Oh, please give it to me. I've been having these general meetings with different studios and executives. And I go into one of them. and there's four or five of the executives there.

And I come in and one of them I know, she hugs me, haven't seen her in ages. And then I go to meet the other ones. And the rug was curled up a little bit. I tripped on the rug and I fell face down in front of all of them. And they were trying to grab me as I was falling. And I fell face down. Were you embarrassed?

I was so embarrassed. They thought I did it on purpose. And I said, guys, no. that was for real. You told them? Yeah. Was your face just red, blushing? I was, I think I told them. I said, wow, this is something I'm never going to forget. Had they called you? No, I'm suing them. Oh, you're saying. Yeah. Oh, man, oh, no, we're going to court, right? We're going to court. Well, you know, I'm friends with Albert Brooks is a friend of mine. I told them what happened. He goes, you know, what happened probably is before that they were having a discussion. Should we meet with Kevin

Neal and no, he's kind of like, he's kind of a has-been. You know, he's kind of older and he's more, and no, I think we should meet with him. You know, he's in that whole spade, Sandler, click, you know, and all of that. And they finally were going to say, all right, all right, we'll see him. And I come in and I trip, I fall face down. That's amazing. I like when shit like that's life. That is life.

But, man, it was like finally something happening where you're out of control, you know? I hope it was like ABC or something. It was universal. Oh, that's a big one. So the whole meeting, every like five minutes, I stop what we're talking about and going, I can't believe I tripped. I'm so embarrassed. Were you doing that to be funny or you're really embarrassed?

A little bit of both. You're like, yeah, so I really am excited about this part. Can you believe I trip on a carpet? What if I hit my head in the corner of the coffee table and they had to call the EMT? What would you guys do? And you just kept going and they're like, oh, it didn't happen. And then you just kept pressing it like, no, seriously. Like, have you ever had this experience?

And the whole meeting is he wouldn't shut up about the falling. He just, what if I fell on your pen, your fountain pen? And I got impaled. Do you, are funny people generally happy people? What's your experience? Like, you know a lot of funny people. No, they're not. They're not.

Why is that? Why do you think that is? I think they're looking for happiness by making other people laugh to get their approval or whatever. I think it's just the way they're, their background, the way they were raised, you know. See, I'm one of these few people. people I think that is very happy. I had a great upbringing, great parents. Never divorced, never any problems, no alcohol, and very supportive. So I'm not like, it's when I was on SNL, I wasn't looking for a father figure, you know, in Lauren. A lot of those people had, you know,

daddy issues, so they're looking for the support. I mean, I loved Lauren and, you know, we're still friends, but, you know, I didn't really need that from him. That's big. So, yeah. So, yeah. So I think a lot of people that are doing stand-up, and not all of them, but a lot, a good portion are not happy with life and they're angry. And that's part of their act. Is that something you think they could fix or they don't want to fix it because it makes the money? I don't know that they can't fix it. And I blame you for that. Yeah.

Well, I have dysfunction and shit. You know, I have a lot of stuff. Are you dyslexic? I might be. Are you in this bad? from a dyslexia? I don't, why would you say that? I don't know.

But I was talking to the guy from the kinks. I want to know, but go ahead. But you gotta get back to this, why you think that. The guy from the kinks, I forget his name, but he's dyslexic. And so they had that big song, Lola. Yeah. But I told him, you're dyslexic, so it was actually La Lo, correct? Lalo, lalo, la lo, la lo, la.

No, I'd have no idea if you're dyslexic, but a lot of people that don't know that other people are dyslexic. And it's difficult, and yet they seem to make a lot of progress in the world. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like do you want a life of happiness and with no dysfunction, or do you want to have huge success, but you're really dysfunctional and you're really unhappy? And I think that's the rub.

But if you're unhappy anyway, from like your childhood and you're not fixing that, you're going to be unhappy if you have no money or you have money. Yeah. You have to work on it. Yeah. Well, the thing about happiness, if you want to get into that, is it's all about perseverance.

It's about how you perceive things. You know what I mean? Like what makes you really happy may not make me happy. You know, it's how you look at things. Like all of a sudden, you're not happy. You're not happy. You're not happy. And then maybe you get some good news about something.

or you win the lottery. You're the same person you were before, but now because you're winning that money and you're perceiving how you could use that and to make your life better, you're happy for a while. I used to know somebody they would say, then I'll be happy a lot. Or a lot of people say that, then I'll be happy.

Then I'll be happy. And it's no matter, they always say that. And it's not the first time. They'll go, if I only had that, then I'd be happy. And then they get that. And they want something else. then if I had this then I'd be happy you know I think perception I think it's all about perception I don't mean just money because that you know but but if let's say that you

you see a dog that makes you happy but I see that dog I'm afraid of dogs you know that's your that's how you perceive them right that's interesting that really is it's interesting but it's not true I think it is I think it is it's like you know are you a person whose glass is half full or half empty. It's like the way you look at things. Yeah. Is that glass broken? Can you make it even half full?

Yeah. I come up, I like to think about cartoon ideas and stuff like that. These should do cartoons. You've done cartoons. I've done some cartoons, yeah. But I have good ideas that I think, I don't want to tell you what they are now because somebody will be listening. Yeah, I'll always tell them.

Yeah. Well, it's funny because we were talking about happiness and all this, but you've lived a life without scandal. I mean, how hard is that in Hollywood, do you think? I think it's difficult. Because when you're, they call it front facing. When you're out there in the front, I think people take shots at you. You know, critics, anybody.

Anybody can kind of make something up. Because anyone ever said something about you that you didn't like, that you're, like, hurt by it? Yeah, yeah. Wikipedia. Wait a minute. That's all of the real things. Somebody goes, is there anything negative about Kevin Nealyn? Yeah, he's a smoker.

I'm not a smoker. Right. So I got really angry. Was it on there? Yeah, yeah. I was smoking. Because you could add anything to Wikipedia. Did you take it off?

No. Still on there. I had to start smoking. So you're still making it real. Oh my God. Did you think you ever had an identity crisis after SNL? You think you were kind of sad or, you know? No, no, not at all.

You know, my biggest, in my mind, accomplishment was doing The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. And that's the thing you aspire to do as a stand-up, you know. And so once I did that, that's when I kind of, you try working so hard for that. And then you come down from it. It's like, wow, if I could do it again, then I'll be happy. It's a heroine. Yeah, you need it. You need it.

Yeah, like I was in love with this girl. school and she was a laurie laurie she was a cheerleader she was the most beautiful girl i ever saw at that age i haven't seen a lot of women you know i mean so but at that point she was the most beautiful and i just pine for her all and i was so shy you know and then i got an s-n-l and she started knowing who i was she didn't know who i was before and they were exchanging letters you know and she you know she's coming to see me after like two years she comes to see me at some concert I was doing with Dana Carvey and Dennis Miller. It was right after us during SNL. And I met her out and back, you know, of the venue at the parking lot. And it's one of these

instances where that was the carrot on the stick. I was working out. I was doing stuff thinking that she's going to be watching, you know, and she would send me a letter. I wouldn't open it until I finished doing a talk show like Johnny Carson or something. That was my reward. and then open up and read it. And then it got to the point where, you know, she wants to get together with me. The girl that I was, you know, so shy and so scared of in high school. And by the time I met her, she, you know, was not in good shape.

She was, you know, she was on Coke and doing alcohol. Are you serious? Yeah. So I kind of lost, that was the end of that. That carried on a stick. It was gone. Jesus. I don't know how this came about, this discussion about this.

Yeah. No, but it's interesting, like you have this idea of someone, how they always were. Like, this is even long after, you know, because I have, you know, I was not popular. I was the shortest kid in my school. I was. I remember some popular girls. And they weren't mean to me or anything. But I was like, man, if I could just talk to them for a minute, they'd see how funny I was. And then they'd like me, even though I'm small and not attractive. I don't see you as being small. I was a smallest kid in my school. I was, I didn't grow. I grew eight inches after. my uh after high school we're alike we're like we're like that's five that's why we have i was five four and i grew what is it do you know i'm six feet now are you really so that's what eight inches yeah so i grew eight inches wait a minute you were six four i mean you were five four five four and

and then you're six yeah so six inches no how many there's 12 inches in the foot yeah so So you're eight inches. Eight inches. I was right. You made me feel dumb. That's a problem with me. No, seriously, man. It's getting to a point now with me where math is getting a little difficult.

Oh, math. I'm trying to figure out a tip. Okay. 5% of 40. 5%. What a dick. No, but like, you know, I remember even years later, I'm like, oh, man, so-and-so. She was smoking hot.

But now, you know, age, I don't look like I was. I'm taller, but I'm older. She's older. She's whatever. But you still have that thought of who she was. And you couldn't get her. Yeah. And you think, I don't know.

Could I get her now? Probably. Do I want her now? She'd be divorced and four kids. Maybe. And that's, that would make you more attracted to her. Because you're a rescuer. Am I right?

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Patreon.com slash inside of you. Come see what you've been missing. When you hike with people, do you learn more from what they say or what they don't say? Well, the thing about hiking with people in this little hiking show, Hiking with Kevin on YouTube, monetized. Subliminal man. It is a situation where I think people are really forthcoming because we're outside. There's no big cameras and crew.

In fact, sometimes people show up and they go, where's your crew? I said, well, it's just me. It's me with a selfie stick. It's all you. Yeah. Yeah. And then I, you know, I edit it when I get home. I got a drone.

I fly. You edit it all by yourself. Yeah. I'm editing one right now from, you know. And I bet walking side by side with someone makes honesty easier than sitting face to face. Because you're not really, you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, you're not looking at each other. Maybe, right? Yeah, yeah. It might be. It might be. But yeah, I think that's what it is. It's kind of being out there. And I, you know, I used to, I still do when I hike by myself, which is great meditation for me. And it's a great creative process, too. I ride a lot when I'm hiking.

But I would go by people talking. And it would be the most interesting conversation of just a speck of it. You know, like I go by this couple and I could hear the guy go, honey, is it okay if I go golfing tomorrow? And I thought, oh my God, that poor guy. Another time I passed this teacher, I guess he was. And there's like six kids with him. And he's talking about the black hole.

And I was so interested. I started following them to hear the rest of the conversation. What do you think is different from you, now than like in your 30s like you know in terms of like maybe what you were searching for confidence you don't think you had that much confidence not back then no no i mean i had some but not like i have now who did you turn to to see if something was funny did you did you trust yourself or you just ran it by was there someone you'd run it by to go is this funny me out of the comics you know mostly who is the one that uh always was wrong when they said it wasn't funny

and you're like uh i'm not let's you know what i mean because there's there's five guys you ask Can four people like it? One guy goes, yeah, you know. Probably my ex-wife. No, but you know who's the best was Gary Shaneling? He was the best mentor I ever had. Yeah, I love to. We would stay on the phone for hours,

just, you know, hashing out a joke and building more on it. And I was, here's my problems. I would come up with a joke and be funny, and then I'd move on to another topic. He goes, no, no, no, let's stay with this. Let's stay with this. He goes, you have a lot of areas, jokes

that you can milk more. You know, I like a hit run thing, you know, I do it and I move on. But, you know, you can develop that whole thing into a hunk, like a 10-minute hunk. And that was my frustration. I do like the Tonight Show or something, you know, or a special. And then after that, I come up with another five minutes to add to that hug. I think, oh, why didn't I have this before, man? Yeah.

You know? Well, there's got to be nothing like making Johnny laugh. Oh, that was the best, Johnny Carson. Oh, my God, you know. How nervous were you are when you were? Terrified, terrified. Terrified, man. Like sweating, had to take a lot.

a shit before. Oh, during. During. During your pants during the not only did I shit my pants but his as well. It was diarrhea and everyone and everywhere. No, no, I was terrified but you know I agreed to do it because I finally passed the audition and I had to do it. I was so scared I didn't want to do it but I would regret it for the rest of my life so I did it and I had cotton mouth and I forgot my act on the way out to the spot and I remembered it when I got out there and I And then once I started, it was just happening.

I could hear the people. I applause breaks. I could hear Johnny laughing behind me. I finished. And then he called me over to the couch. No. I had to sit down, which is a rare thing for a comic, you know. And I got more laughs there.

Wow, very funny stuff. That is some funny stuff right there. Yeah. A little great comedian, Kevin Eelon. He's going to be a star. Oh, you do good. What do you say? He would say things like this next comedian is,

he's got a bizarre sense of humor. It's very obscure, something like that. You loved it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you want to be different. Yeah, you want to be different. You know, I tell young comedians now, people starting out, they see, you have any advice. Yeah, you got to be different.

You got to be original because just look on Netflix, how many people have specials. You know, look at how many people are doing stand-up comedy. Yeah, when I first started doing stand-up, I would hang out with the improv. And there'd be maybe 50 comics at the most. It was such a novelty. People, most people never been to a comedy club. There weren't a lot of comedy. clubs. There's maybe, you know, Catch Rising Star, you know, comic strip, improv comedy story. That was it.

Yeah. And now there's franchises everywhere. You know, every city has one. Even my hometown has one. So I tell them you have to be original. You've got to come up with something. And then I started thinking, well, I guess it's, you know, you could talk about airplanes, but you got to really have an original kind of point of view on it, right? Everyone's talked about airplanes. Yeah. Everyone's talked about sex. Everyone's talked about. Travel and yeah, yeah. I mean, Andy Kaufman was so original. Yeah. You know, because he came up.

No one's going to do what he was doing afterwards. You know, like, I had several areas that I had to get rid of in my special that I was going to tape. Because right before it, I was looking at going through the Netflix specials and seeing what people were using as a backdrop. Was it a curtain? You know, was it, what was it? Was it their big initials?

And I'm coming across different comments. and I'm thinking, wait a minute, I do a bit on the bidet toilet. You're doing the bit too. And I see another guy doing it in a club. I'm thinking, God, I've come up with something different, something, different areas, you know? And then I'm, you know, I look at Spade. He's doing my opening joke that I felt so comfortable with. He's doing something like that.

So I didn't do that either. But doesn't that make you go, no, mine's better? Yeah, but I'm so picky about that. I don't want to be doing something someone else is doing. So I just bagged those things. And now I'm trying to kind of think in that world, like how is this different? My attitude, my point of view on it, or what, you know,

what is making it different? Do you work with someone at all? No. No, just yourself. Just myself. But you know what it's like? You're hanging out? I try to stay engaged with their comics.

Somebody says something, then they go, you said that, go, yeah, that's actually better. Yeah. Or you just say something at a dinner party and you write it down. That was funny, but everybody laughed at that. You know, and that'll take that. You do that after you write. You go, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

You write it down. Yeah, yeah. Does that become almost like, do you ever feel like sometimes you can't be completely, where can you be completely Kevin? Well, you're telling me of diarrhea. So you got to keep going. No, I didn't mean. I meant like, you know, you're a comedian.

You're an actor. You're doing all these things. You know, you're always thinking of a funny line of, oh, that's funny. Do you ever just not think? and just be and yeah oh yeah you do oh yeah when are you able to do that but you know as a comic you're constantly open to getting material whether you like it or not yeah it's happening you just you know if you say something funny because it's such gold yeah and it's so rare it's hard to come up with something that's really funny so when you come up with something that's funny you write it down

because there's nothing worse than saying something funny or getting a big lap and not remembering what it was then you're asking everybody hey what was it that i said when you guys were you You know, talking about the jungle cruise, you know. What was that? Do you remember anybody remember? Yeah. What did it start with? Do you remember any word from it, you know, one word?

Help me. Yeah. It's just odd. It's like losing a sneeze. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, you're talking about Gary Shanley and you guys were always on the phone talking for hours and stuff.

How hard was that for you when he passed? Because I know a lot of his convenience. Yeah, it was really, it was a surprise. I mean, he just, he had a. pulmonary embolism, I think it was. And he just dropped that, you know. Do you think your feelings came out right away or did it take time to sort of? I was shocked.

I was shocked. And to this day, it's, I get choked up just thinking about it and talking about them. But, you know, we were so close. We were just, I remember we had lunch a couple days before that. And PCH, there's an outdoor, you know, like one of those fish places. We're sitting outside in a picnic table. And we're just looking out of the ocean. and he goes, does it get any better than this?

How great is this? He was just appreciating things. Because he was going through some stuff at the time. He was sick and they weren't sure what it was. So, yeah, when that happened, it was just such a blow. I mean, it's just like you get why some people, when somebody really close to them dies, they just can't understand it.

It's just like, I don't know, this can't be true. You know. And then it sinks in after a while. But he was such an influence on me. He taught me how to write jokes. And he was influenced on a lot of people. We would have basketball games at his house every Sunday. And there'd be like maybe 10 of us, like actors and comedians and writers.

And after the games, you know, we sit in his little, you know, TV room. And there'd be a game on with a sound off, you know. Nobody's kind of really watching it. And I'm just sitting around and Gary sits in his chair, the one he sits in all the time. And we're all kind of coming down. We're all kind of sweaty and stuff. And, you know, like Adam McKay is there, Judd Apatow, me, you know, David DeCovny would come and play. And Gary was the guy.

You know, Adam McKay would be asking him for advice, Judapetow, you know. And so everybody really appreciated his talent. And he was one of the first comics I saw, and I met when I came to L.A. And I would watch him every time on The Tonight Show. I remember how coolly dressed, you know, Armandic back then. Yeah. Just the big smile. Yeah, everything.

So, yeah, so that was a big loss. But he was a good mentor. He was a guy to be on the phone with a long time and learn a lot about crafting a joke. He always seemed interested in you, the proverbial you. Yeah. We had the same physical therapist, so I would always, because I always see Gary there and he goes,

hey, Michael, how you doing? What's the vet? Dylan it's like hey I mean he would just but he seemed it wasn't just like okay and he wanted to know yeah yeah seemed like he had interest wherever I saw him he stopped for a second uh he was just really sweet not any I didn't know him like you did and he was a connector too he would connect you with other people because he'd say oh you're having this issue the health issue Kevin had that I'm gonna put you guys together you know talk to each other wow or you know so-and-so is trying to write something maybe you can help them with it you know and I remember he would always tell me

Kevin, you're at the top of your game right now. You're so at the top of your game. And I said, well, you've been saying that a long time. I don't know how I can stay on the top so long. Hey, who knocked Sandler down last week or a few weeks ago? Who knocked them down? Playing basketball, didn't they? Oh, I don't know.

Someone knocked them down. And didn't say the name, just apparently. Oh, did that happen? I heard, right? Didn't you hear about that? Sandler was playing basketball. And so I thought maybe you had the inside of you throw a name out. They said no names were thrown out.

He still play ball? He loves basketball. I don't play anymore. You stop. I stopped. But yeah, I did a tour with Santa last year. How was that? That was amazing.

You're like arenas. How long was your set? 10 minutes. That's it? 10 or 12 minutes, the most. So you go on the road, you get paid a lot. You just do 10 minutes a show? It was the best.

You know, we fly in a private jet. All together? City to city, yeah. Who was it? You, Spade, Swartson. Swartzon. Yeah, all those people. Sandler.

Yeah, Sandler, and, you know, same thing, we'd land. They would have a basketball game all set up for them. You know, local guys, you know, whether it's high school stars or professionals. They all just like, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, they couldn't believe it. One guy got fired from his job because he wanted to play. We're sitting down at a counter, a guy at a hotel, this young guy. And Sandler goes, what time you get off?

He goes, you know ball? He goes, oh, I love to play a ball. He goes, what time you get off? He goes, two o'clock. He goes, ah, okay, well. You played 11. We're playing at, yeah, we're playing like at, you know, 1230. And I was, oh, anyway, the guy shows up and he got fired because he left his job.

What do you mean you got fired from your job to play basketball? What's the matter with you? So he came and, and he was worth it for him. He goes, I could tell my son one day I played basketball with Sandler. And so I said, you know, maybe you guys could talk to the manager and get him back, you know, so they did. They got to be hired. Sandler talked to him? Yeah, yeah.

Of course he did. So yeah, it was that. And then you do the gig, and they love him, and there's big screens. And then we go out and have, like, some dinner. Dinner afterwards. Like, noon. For how long? How long was the tour?

40 cities. 40 cities? I did 20 of them. So you were gone for like a month? Yeah, in and out. You know, you do like two weeks and you back for a couple days. What a treat. Oh, it's great, man.

It was a great experience. And he's a great guy to hang out with. Yeah. I love him. Again, another guy who's just so. Yeah. Just takes care of his friends, doesn't he? Yeah.

Yeah, really. It's like, you know, when you saw a chaplain, you look at his old movies, he used a lot of the same people. Yeah. I wish more people would do that, you know, use their friends. Yeah. There probably is, but we don't know it. Yeah, we don't know it. It's not people we are friends with. It's hard to do that when you don't have any friends. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. I mean, if that makes sense. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that makes sense. Is there any sense of that? There's a little, it's sensical. Yeah. Do you, you don't get any anxiety, right? No therapy? No, nothing like that. I don't get anxiety. I used to, I used to be claustrophobic. Really? It was developing into agoraphobia. But this is true.

People kind of think I'm kidding, but it was getting so bad because I lived in New York City doing SNL, and I couldn't go through the tunnels to get out of town because of... Oh, it was extreme. Clostophobia. Yeah, it was extreme. So I would have to put a blanket over my head before. the tunnel even arrived so I wouldn't even know we're in the tunnel and have my headphones on listen to music. And you're driving. I'm not driving. I'm in the back seat. I was wondering why you're laughing.

Yeah, I was like, wait a minute. I thought that was the joke. That's good. But that would be funny. But you were bad. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was bad. And then I don't like small spaces. I don't like when you're on a ride at an amusement park and they push that thing on you. Oh, really? that I hate it. I feel like I can't, I can't move. I can't get, I, sometimes I say, let me out of this. I don't do it anymore. Well, I used to be in the tunnel and there'd be traffic stop. And I would know in my head, which entrance or exit I was closest to.

So if I had to get out of the car and run, you know. Really? Yeah, yeah. But how'd you beat it? I faced it. Because those kind of things you invite in, it's almost like a vampire. You're inviting them in, you know, you're letting them, you're allowing them to come in to you and mess with you like that.

So I went to a therapist in the valley, and this is true, his name was Dr. Doctor, Doctor. And he was a phobia doctor, therapist. Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor, Doctor. And he gave me a workbook on how to, you know, get over these phobias. But the thing that worked the best for me was just a brown paper bag, breathing. You get a lunch bag and you breathe out, I think eight, you know, eight beats and then you breathe in for four beats. And then I, and something with that, you see the bag rising and, you know, collapsing, for some reason, that helped me.

Wow. Can you use a plastic bag? I don't have any people. Yeah, put it over your head. Like a zip block? Is that? Yeah, you could do that. That's great, though, that helped you.

It helped me, man, because I was a mess. I mean, now I got an elevator. It could get stuck. No, I would not be fine. Really? You see a grown man crying. I couldn't go up in a cable car, you know, and I love skiing. Yeah.

Because if it stopped, I would get really nervous. And then I guess you start to think, come on, what can happen? They'll rescue me. I'm not going to die. Everything's fine. You start to... Well, that's not necessarily true. I saw on Instagram, this cable cart fell off the cable.

It was windy. It was like in Europe somewhere. Yeah, and the thing fell all the way down. And it hit the ground. I started rolling down the hill. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's funny. It sounds hilarious.

This is called shit talking with Kevin Needs. and these are my patrons patreon.com slash inside you i love you these they support the podcast and they have questions you can answer them if you want okay jen t where have been some of your favorite places to hike while filming hiking with kevin um Ireland you've done it in ireland with paul riser yeah he was shooting a film there i love pa he was here he's awesome yeah he's great and he uh i reminisce with him sometimes because we were in a hotel room in san francisco like 30 years ago maybe 35 And I was just breaking up with a girl. I'm trying to get back with her.

And I was going to go buy her some earrings. So I go to Paul. He goes, what do you think? What kind of earrings do you think I should buy her? Because they have the studded earrings that are kind of cool. She said, he says, wait a minute. Let's talk about that because there's dangling earrings, the long ones. And then there's a stud.

How long is her neck? I said, it's kind of long. She goes, okay, let's go with a dangling. That balances at all. But yeah, so he was filming a movie that he wrote just outside of Dublin. So I brought my camera stuff with me. And I said, let's go do a hike. And he goes, sure, yeah.

So we did that. And that was great. That was a good place. Beautiful, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anywhere else? I've done, I've done teasers. I've noticed a few hiking trails, of course, that you've been here in LA.

I won't say it. Yeah. I've done teasers before, like in Banff, around Lake Louise. Oh, nice. in the winter. Never been there. Beautiful. It's gorgeous.

I did one in Sundance. Is that near Calgary? Yeah. Yeah. I did one in Sundance with Donny Osmond. Oh, man. Which is one of my favorite hikes. And we have snow shoes on.

We're falling left and right. And we're on the chairlift. I'm asking him, you know, how he had such big teeth. And he goes, I never had big teeth. I said, well, you did. You did. You know, we're arguing about that. So that was so pretty.

That was a pretty spot. Did you ever have someone say, hey, can you cut that part? I don't want you to know you're there. Oh, yeah, I always tell them. I said, if we talk about anything, you don't want to just let me know. Did they ever get deep that you were surprised

that you're like, they're going to cut this? This is too deep. You knew before. I didn't say anything. It's very rare that happens. I asked somebody about a girl that used to date. And he goes, I don't want to talk about that. I said, well, I do.

Little Lisa. What helps you breathe easy? Breathe easy? Paper bags. I guess, right? Paper bags would be the answer to that. Um, money. Money.

No, I think, um, I just like knowing everything's good. You know, I don't think I have too many people that hate me. There might be a few. But, uh. Well, could someone say badly about Kevin Neal and honestly? What do you think they could say? He's too easy going. He knows everything.

He doesn't, he has an opinion about anything. You know what I mean? It's like the worst thing you could say to someone on a date that I've learned now, not the worst thing, but it's like, where do you want to eat? Oh, I don't care. Wherever you want. It's better when you're specific. If you're asking the day, say, here's where we're going. Do you like Cuban food?

All right, I know a great restaurant. We're going to go there tonight if you want to do that, you know? Because I became friends with James Taylor when he was on SNL. And he goes, we should go out and have dinner sometime. I said, yeah, sure. So I pick him up in his apartment and we're walking. down Broadway and he goes you want any place especially you want to eat no wherever you want to eat is fine you know trying to be accommodating he goes okay let's eat Cuban food and I should have said something

because Cuban food I can't do it I sweat I break out in hives I'm up all night sick but I didn't say anything but you already said wherever you want to go wherever you want so you can't do it now you can't so I'm sitting there I'm eating I'm sweating you know I drop him off at home give him a little hug a little nibble and then I learned my lesson. I never do that again. You felt like people respect someone that has actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.

I kind of like when people are like, I don't care. I'm like, great, McDonald's, let's go. I don't give a shit. I'd rather than I have an opinion so we could eat what I want to eat. Is that wrong? That's true. No, I think that's right, no matter where it is.

If you don't care, then I'm going to pick. Yeah. Tell me, Raj says, tell me about a time you lost confidence in your comedic skills, even if it was brief. Well, it was bombing. And you bomb. Every time you bomb? Well, I've very rarely bombed, I'll be honest with it.

The fact, I gave myself, you know, people say you bomb a lot starting out, do you? Well, no, I didn't really, you know, open mic nights and, you know, people would chuckle and, you were so into it. But, yeah, a few times I've bombed. One of them was at Camp Pendleton for the Marines. Oh, no. And the Marines are like 18, 19. You know, they don't even know who I am. They never heard of Hans and Franz.

and you know i see them on their cell phones they end up paying attention very minimal amount of lives and i left and the house comes it walks by me i goes how were they they were great man they're amazing but i that was a long drive home you felt like shit yeah i felt like i just didn't i didn't well i just felt like i didn't connect with them and there was a reason because they they were a different generation right what did dylan say i always say it please some of the people some of the time, a few of the people all the time, but you can't please all the people all the time, right? I mean, it's true. You can't. You're not going to be funny to everybody.

I saw Michael Jordan at a golf tournament, and he was sitting in the chair, a metal folding chair out in the fairway because they won't sign during the game, the golf game. And there's got to be a line about 100 yards long. And he's out there signing everybody, signing everybody's until it gets to a point where he's got to go. And then he gets up and goes, sorry, no more guys. And everybody's, And everybody's like, oh, come on, one more more. And he's walking away. And I knew him a little bit because I golfed in this tournament.

And I said, what's it like being you, Michael? He goes, you just can't please everybody. Just like that. Yeah, because you can't. You can't. Once you understand that, it makes things a lot easier, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Last question, Jeremy C says, what is a major life lesson you've learned over the years? Wow. What have I learned? What have you learned? Invest. Invest. Invest.

Also, be kind. I have so many people. It's like you said, they'll come up to me and goes, I remember you did this. And you were so nice. You were so nice. And I'm like, oh, thank God. And you said, a lot of those people become big moguls in the business. And they always remember it.

They remember when somebody's kind or when they're not kind. And it doesn't take a lot to be kind. Yeah. And someone told me once, you know, if you get road rage, just think of that person that's driving as your brother or somebody. And how would you treat them like that, you know, or your son? Yeah. And that helped a lot.

Yeah. I remember meeting you for the first time many moons go at Carrie Fisher's house. That's right. You were there. Yeah. I was always at her parties and everything. And you were always sweet as hell. You're always kind.

You didn't know me for Jack. You didn't know, and you always, hey, how's it going? You just were always accommodating sweet. With you? To you? To me. Can you believe it? I don't believe that.

I remember. I remember saying, he's funny, but he's always, he's a good guy. Those parties were crazy, man. They were crazy. I mean, can you name some of the people that were there? Norman Miller. Yeah. I met Elizabeth Taylor there.

Yeah. I did not meet her there. I was sitting right next to her. I didn't know it. I got up and she got up. I saw her, I go, Elizabeth. Because, you know, those people that you feel kind of close to. Yeah.

I said, how you doing? And right away, she goes, oh, my back is sore now. You don't want to ask anybody over 70, how they're doing. She goes, oh, my back's sore now. I said, oh, have you tried using ice packs? It goes, no, what I use is the frozen peas. Of course. I said, just one pee, or do you put a lot on there?

What do you do? And she goes, because it forms to your back. And ever since then, I've been using frozen peas. It's so true. Moles to your back. Yeah, yeah. But those parties were crazy, man. yeah Frank Gary's there

all the Star Wars people George Lucas Harris is there I have oh I have pictures from that house you might be in some of the pictures I have to look Oh let me know if you are I never took pictures

No I have pictures of like me Holding her cake with George Lucas And like you know and Yeah it's crazy It's like everybody was Jane Fonda Everybody it was just spectacular She was she didn't care How big of a star you were

How small of a star you were She treated you She gave me the code to her game And she's like, you come out, if you're on your way to audition, whatever, here's my code. I still remember it. Come make yourself a sandwich. Do whatever. It was like, I said to her once.

I said, you know, Carrie, you remind me so much of my grandmother. She's like, fuck you. I go, no, no, no. I just meant that my grandma always let people in the house and eat and do whatever. And it just felt like home. It felt like I, someplace I didn't have. I had a birthday one year. And I said, Carrie, how about we do the birthday at your house?

Because we were on a, you know, I knew her really well. And she goes, I'm not going to be in town, but use my house. You did? Yeah, she said that. She said, I'll leave Gloria with you. Glory. And she'll make the Mac and cheese and all that southern fried chicken. Fried chicken.

And I did it. I did it. And it was great. And another time I asked her, I would get autographs or things signed from S&L for auction items, for charities, they would ask me. So I had Kurt Cobain sign a book. It was an unauthorized biography on him. You know, and he signed it.

And I had Carrie sign a magazine. It was called Psychology Today. It was about therapy and all that because she was a lot of time of therapy. And this one was on bipolar. And she was bipolar. So Carrie, I said, would you sign this? She goes, sure, I'd be happy to. And she signed and I took it home.

I didn't look at it. And I looked at it a couple days later. It said, dear Kevin, you're an asshole. Love Carrie. I have a picture in my office. because we met because my assistant said something like, oh, Carrie Fisher's assistant called and said, Billy wanted a picture of you from Smallville or whatever.

So I was like, yeah, but can you get a picture from me of her and return of the Jedi and the job of the hut in that outfit? So I have it in there and it says, to Michael, blow me. Carrie. And it's just, you know. Beautiful, man. She was amazing. I love you.

Thanks for being here. Thanks, man. And Mermaids is a good movie. coming up. Dude, Mermaid looks amazing. Guys, you know, I love this kind of shit. I know you will too. Check out the trailer for Mermaid.

You will absolutely want to see it. It will be in theaters, May 26, and then it will go to streamers, I'm sure. But go to the theater and see it. Support movies and theaters. Yes, yes. I also have a special that's out now called Loose in the Crotch. Loose in the Crosh.

It's out now? It's on YouTube. I'm watching it tonight. It's on the 800-pound gorilla platform. And it's, I haven't done one in 10 years. So I finally put it out there. Was it exciting? It was exciting, yeah.

Nerve-wracking? Not so much. No, you just kind of did your thing. You know, I'm dead inside these days. You're dead inside. Yeah, but it was great. And people like it. I can't wait to see.

What was that from? People like me. People really, Sally Fields. Was that? The Oscars. Yeah. What was your favorite, by the way, if you could name one sketch that you did in SNL. I think it's your favorite.

It was called El Cantora, Belisimo. It's about all the Italian waiters. Oh, yeah. I was there with Kirstie Alley and we're on a little date. Yeah. And they were all over licking her, no, what? It's Italian. You know, that's what they do.

That's right. That was your favorite. I think so. And the Chippendale dancers. Oh, my God. How you kept a straight face? I don't know how he did it. To me, he's the funniest person that ever lived.

That's just, I mean, people say that. But like, it was that bawdy kind of comedy. It was just, it was just outrageously, I can't even explain it. It just made me feel good. It made me. It felt like home in a way. I come from the Midwest. I know he's kind of a Midwestern.

Yeah. And I remember he came to set once when I was doing this terrible show with Tom Arnold. It was ranked 123 out of 122. And Kevin and Johnny, his brothers were on our show as recurring. And so he came to visit. I didn't know what was happening. And I'm on set and I say a line and all of a sudden everyone's laughing. And I go, well, I'm not that, this line's not that funny.

They're all laughing. And I look over and you see Farley walking and go, how are you? All right. Good to see you. Hey, I worry you. And I go, this is you? How are you? And I said, this is my moment.

And I said this before, but I said, I go, I got to say something. I got this is my hero. And I don't want, hey, everybody look at me. I'm the big fat guy taking all the attention away from the skinny punk. And he just looked at me. He goes, that's it. And he ran over and he grabbed me. And he threw me over his shoulder.

and he ran up the audience and smacked me in the ass and everybody started smacking me and hung out with him after and it was like a dream freaking come true yeah you're good impressionist man well i don't know i just it's it's a feeling you know when you get a feeling do any impressions no none not one it's never been your thing i used to do them you know like old school stuff but not anymore yeah this has been great thanks for coming thanks for having me man all right all right dude I love you. You're always welcome on the show. And that's all I got to say. He's really fun. Yeah. Yeah. And how do you like the new sign? Yeah. If you're watching, we got, we're all new. This is the first episode of. Yeah, that's a new sign to match the branding and socials and just the color palette, if you will.

Yeah. I'm guessing that's a red and what, white? No, it's a, oh, I don't know, it's like a, it's almost a teal, but it's a lighter. sort of blue. But it's red. It's red. Yeah, you're correct about the red. Well, that's a blue inside. Oh, it's a teal. I see that.

It's blue, but it's greener blue. You know what? While we're doing that, Timmy, you know, we could take a test to see the lights. What if we go really bright like that? That's too bright. That's like Vegas. That's Vegas.

Yeah. I don't think we want to, maybe that. Maybe that. Timmy will tell us. Yeah. Big shout out to Timmy, my editor, Timmy Moore.

Tim Morris. He's awesome. We're talking about doing a lot of other stuff together. And so thank you, Tim. You come in and just knocked it out of the park, really. I couldn't ask for a better editor. And I thought our last editor was amazing. Yeah.

I miss him. He's a great dude. Jason. Well, Tim came recommended highly from Jason. He did, but I was like, I didn't know. And all of a sudden, I'm like, wow, it's like nothing's changed. Tim's just freaking doing it. He's killing it.

Like, I got no notes except make me look fucking better, Tim. I know it's not easy, but man. You know, geez, I got to, I want to look good. You know, what if Spielberg's watching inside of you? He's like, that guy. Ah, he's too pale. Stupid. It's too pale.

That sounds like stupid. You can get a tan. Yeah, I guess I could. We couldn't do this podcast without our patrons. Patreon.com slash inside of you. If you want to join, I'll send you a message right away. Give back to the show. Keep it going.

Without you, we can't do it. Here are the shoutouts in no particular order, but I love all these people. Nancy D. Little Lisa. So you Kiko. Nico P. Rob B. the fourth.

Jason W. Yeah. Dream Weaver. Raj. I see a lot of these people in the cruise, you know, right?

I know. It's coming up, dude. I know. We only got two months. That's wild. A little over two months. Stacey L.

Jamal F. Janelle B. Mike L. Dan Supremo. Where have you been? 99 more. Santiago Lamb. Kendrick F.

Belinda and Dave Hull. Hello, Dave. Dave. Dave. Dave. Oh, Michael. It's Dave.

Brad D. Ray Hada. Tab of the T, Tom, N, Talia, M, David G, Betsy D, Rian, C, Michelle A, Jeremy C, Mr. Melsky, Eugene R, Monica, T, Mel S, Eric H, Kevin, E. Jammin, J, Leanne, J, Luna R, Jules M, Jessica B, Frank B, Gentie, Randy S, Claudia. Rachel D., Nick W., Stephanie, and Evan. Stefan. Charleney, Don G., and Jenny, B, 7, 6. Yes, Jenny. N.G. Tracy, Keith, B. Heather and Greg.

Grether. Pierre C. Sultan of Swing. Dave. Dave. Dave, Tab. What's up, Dave? Brian B. How are you, mate? How are you, mate? T. Paul. We got Gary F. Ritzel. Benjamin R. Other brother, Daryl.

A. P. Kilby. Elizabeth R. The broken hero. Eduardo V. What's up, Eduardo? and Julie F. Julie F. What are you doing? Julie F. You're awesome.

Thanks for supporting podcasts. Thanks for being here with me. Thanks for being here with Ryan. Thanks for making inside of you your podcast. And a lot of things going on in life. And it's, there's so many distractions in the fact that you listen to the show. I was at the supporting WNBA women's basketball.

I went to the sports fever game. I'm a fever fan and Dixon from Indiana. And it was great. And I took my buddy Joe, who's a die hard. Big fever fan. Die hard. And like, I've never seen him happier. Yeah.

I was happy. I was, I really have an appreciation for the WMBA and the fans were amazing. And it was a really good game. I had fun. I love Caitlin Clark. If you're listening, can I get a basketball sign by you? Yeah. That'd be awesome.

Anyway, I hope you're doing well from the Hollywood Hills and Hollywood, California. I'm Michael Rosenbaum. I'm Ryan Tejas. I'm barely here as well. He is. He's tired. He just flew in. Wave to the camera.

We love you. And please, if nothing else, be good to yourself. All right. I'll see you next week.