Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - MARK SHEPPARD: Coming Back From the Dead… Several Times (His Full Heart Attack Story)

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

One of the wildest stories we’ve ever heard on the podcast, from one of the most dear friends to the show… Mark Sheppard (Supernatural, Doom Patrol) joins us this week to give an exclusive recounting of his recent heart attacks and relentless fights against death. This story was remarkable, emotional, and brave. Mark talks about what he feared most during his run ins with death and his newfound passion that has emerged from tragedy. Thank you to our sponsors: ❤️ Betterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/inside 🛍️ Shopify: https://shopify.com/inside 🚀 Rocket Money: https://rocketmoney.com/inside 🧠 Neurohacker: https://neurohacker.com/inside 🟠 Discover: https://discvr.co/3Cnb1V8 __________________________________________________ 💖 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/insideofyou 👕 Inside Of You Merch: https://store.insideofyoupodcast.com/ __________________________________________________ Watch or listen to more episodes! 📺 https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/show __________________________________________________ Follow us online! 📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🤣 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@insideofyou_podcast 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/insideofyoupod 🌐 Website: https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. How are you? How's everybody doing this week? I hope you're having a great week. Ryan. Hi. You have a good week? I'm having an okay week.

Yeah. Go on therapy? Yep. Pick up back up. Yeah. Very important. Very important. I hope everyone's killing it and just trying to do the best they can being good to yourself.

We got a great episode here. But a few things before I get into it that I must talk about. Thank you for listening to a great bunch of episodes coming up, and we've had some great episodes. So thank you for all your support. If you really like the podcast and you want to support it more, there's a thing called patron, P-A-T-R-E-O-N, Patreon.com slash inside of you. They become a member, support the podcast, and there's a lot of perks like getting to ask questions to guests, YouTube lives, occasional zooms with me, boxes sent you every three months and with little notes and things. and things and um you know bunch of stuff and it's a great community and great way to make friends and uh it's like a big family so patreon.com slash inside of you also the inside of you online store

has tons of stuff smallville shipkey signed by me lunchbox is signed by me uh lexmus scripts and much much more cool inside you merch and sunspin.com tons of band merch which we have great new hats and tumblers that you have to check out and the handles are right. At Inside of You pod on Twitter, outside of you podcast on Instagram and Facebook. Thank you, Ryan. Thank you for now. I have 500,000 listeners or on our followers on Instagram. Wow.

And if you want to know, Tom and I are going to North Carolina Concord, February 17th and 18th that weekend to sign autographs. It's going to be a blast mad monster party. And then AwesomeCon, D.C. March, I believe, 8th that weekend. And we're doing a smallville night on the weekend. you could find all this stuff including cameo on my Instagram link tree so Instagram on my profile it says link tree and you just hit that and it tells you everything I'm doing so that's that and my new product Rosie's puppy fresh breath if you want your dog to have fresh breath go to Amazon Rosie's puppy fresh breath just a little cat full in your dog's water and boom this guest

here is wow he divulges there's a reason why we move this episode up because he had a big health scare probably the biggest health scare you could have and talk about someone who almost died and is here to talk about it and he hasn't talked to anybody about this yet so wow yeah he and he came i'm glad he came here specifically like he specifically wanted to come here to talk about yeah i really appreciate mark shepherd coming here to the house and talking about his fight to live and family and life and it puts things

in a whole new perspective and let's just get into it man let's get inside of Mark Shepard It's my point of you you're listening to inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum Inside of You Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum

was not recorded in front of a live studio audience the one of me is the worst face i've ever seen they made a statue like they did a me right here but then they multiplied them and sold them everywhere and it's like did you not see my face i mean i had j leno's chin down to yeah sometimes they just do i just got a bobblehead made of me because i wanted to like in my band and i was like that's not me it's some random face on a fucking bobble head what the fuck are you doing well the the the the funky joke was always that everybody had funco pops except for me i have them but i i never had any right so you know the three for crawley yeah for crowley it was like they three funco pops is everything so

it was this running gag so we were doing uh hall h at san francisco no san jana yago and uh misha made me like a starbucks cup with two lolly sticks a bit of broccoli and some thing and put mark on it and it started this running gag and then the next year they finally made funco pops of crowley and there's like seven of them or something there's all these ridiculous stuff you have them all yeah of course it was it was fun but um what happened was like so i went on stage early and put them out in front of everybody else it was like shh don't say anything uh jensen walks straight in everyone's introduced jensen sits down yay whatever guys it just throws it away no respect no respect so look uh i appreciate you coming here

I know you're not doing any other podcast. You haven't really talked to anybody. Everybody knows the situation. I'm so honored that you decided to come here. Well, who else would I talk to? I don't know, man. There's like any, you know, there's a lot of big podcasts out there. I called you and I was like, we're going to do this.

I was like, yeah, no, no, no. I mean, look, this is like, this is one of those things that happen in your life. If God forbid, it happens and, you know, it usually happens at a much older age, you know, but it can happen at any time. Well, you can't, you know, you can't. you know, you can't predict what's going to happen. And, and I just, I just feel like, you know, there's so many questions I have. I want to hear this story how this happened because you died.

Well, I died several times, but I'll give you the pitch and I'll tell you what was happening. The pitch is just a pitch? Well, I mean, you do realize that, you know, you know, when you're a kid and you wonder if I ever died, and maybe it's just me, probably is just me. If you died, who'd come to your funeral? I kind of found out, you know, I mean, the amount of, like, the amount of, like, love coming at me from the moment that I posted what I posted, which is trying to have a little bit of control over it. I was paparazzi coming. I mean, God, slow news day or what. You know,

somebody paid somebody and they got pictures of me walking out of a hospital, which is crazy in itself. But here's the story, and I'll give you the story. And then you can ask me anything because I love to do it. So where were you? No, no, no, no. All right. You go. It's a story because it's got parts of it that nobody knows. And this is why I wanted to tell you. So I'm all excited to tell okay so um i had like some sort of ingrown hair somewhere on the left side of my belly and like the typical boy i left it for about 18 months until it turned into this atrocious looking um half dollar of nastiness and i was oh it'll get better and it didn't get better i went to see an incredible surgeon and then seen him wonderful guy called beat him i love him he's brilliant he's

Biederman. He's little and he's annoying and he's just like, that's disgusting. You know, he's one of those guys. Right. So I go see him and he goes, yeah, you've got skin cancer, dude. You have squamous cell carcinoma. Three choices, I can, I can biopsy it and send it in, spend a couple of weeks talking about it. I can get you an MRI or we could cut the, can I swear?

Yeah. Yeah, you can cut the fucker out. I did that. I had a skin cancer that cut out, yeah. And it was, it was stupid. It was me being stupid. So I had this wonderful surgery. This guy's great.

Incredible nurses, blah, blah, blah. And he leaves an eight inch Frankenstein scar on the side of my belly. Let me see it. No, it's not there. This is, hold on. The story's worth hearing. So I got this massive, like, ladder looking scar and half my belly's missing. And I was carrying a bit of weight.

I've always carried a bit of weight. I've always been that, you know, the cool character acted with a bit of a belly or whatever. I was wondering, you know, I sort of gave up on the idea of being skinny, which I was always skinny when I was. younger. I'm a drama, fit. But man, I couldn't lose the weight. I could never lose the weight. I just, it sort of was bugging me that, you know, I didn't fit my suits anymore. I didn't do stuff. And it's a, you know, we talk about anxiety and we talk about depression. And I just sort of lumped in with, well, you know, I'm not going to be the skinny guy. So, you know, I'm just

going to be a bit chunky. And I kind of hated it. And I kind of hate the way I look and I kind of hated away. And I'm, you know, I'm pushing 60 now. And I'm like, yeah, well, that's my lot. You know, my kid's got a 10 pack and he's fit. And he looks like a little. model and whatever and I'm like yeah great wonderful I used to be skinny and it's actually a really weird thing for your psyche so I got this scar and I went back to beat him and I said dude you butchered me and he's like I saved your life asshole and I'm like if I went to a plastic surgeon that I know and I had a tummy tuck what do you think and he goes hate to tell you this but it's a really good idea he can take out more skin than I can it would take you out of the watch and wait

scenario where you have to wait and see whether it comes back or whatever And he goes, I never usually advocate of stuff. He said, go do it. Who are you going to go to? So Tonya was going to go to. He says, good guy. He's a thoracic surgeon as well. And he's the guy you want to go to and ced as if part of he's missing.

Right. You know, he's just amazing guy. Bill's mastectomy breasts. He's, Dr. Jay is his name. He's fantastic, man. I had a dentist once and he was like, kill tooth decay with Dr. Jay. Wasn't a great dentist. No, that's not.

That's the guy was doing too much of his own drugs. And he did the dentistry out of his house. That's really bad. And it was my uncle's old dentist. And my uncle didn't have good teeth at the time. That should have told you. I mean, I was out of college. I had no money.

I didn't get it. I said, yeah. It's the old AA. Did you? If you want what we have, you know, it's like. Oh, I could have had infections and shit. But go ahead. You've never been lucky in those.

Tommy tuck. So that's, that's embarrassing. It's whatever. But I got this massive skull on my body is like completely distorted on one side. So I go see the guy. And he looks at me, the first thing he goes, why are you, in a fat suit so I'm mortified he goes dude you're a good looking boy he goes I he goes what do you weigh I said 200 I lied I weighed 211 used to lying 200 he goes 200 he goes

you give me 15 pounds I'll put that scar in your bikini line I'm like okay he goes we got to lose it a certain weight so what's that he goes you got it zero carbs and I mean zero carbs. You've got a big old plate of belly fat there. It's been there for years. I'm pushing 60. I can't work out as hard as I was. I play drums, but it's just not going. You'll understand why in a minute. This is what happened. This is the bizariness of this whole thing. And he's like, well, drop 15 pounds and call me. I'm like, I said, I'll drop seven and call you. Six days later, I called him. I went, I dropped seven pounds. I was mad, dude. I felt embarrassed. I felt belittled. I felt like, you know, I've not been able to lose this weight. And, you know, I'm just going

to be the kind of... But seven pounds in six days. Yeah, but it was all I did was just not eat crap. All I ate was protein, this whole... And I was like, God, what is my relationship with food? By the way, Tom Arnold had a book called How I lost five pounds and six years. I love Tom. That was his book. But go ahead. I love Tom. So, all right, so there's the embarrassing part that nobody knows about, right? Nobody knows about this stuff. And it's kind of mortifying. Got a tummy tuck. What's wrong? I did the work. I did the work. I'm working. I'm working out. I'm doing my stuff. I drop almost 30 pounds before I go into surgery. He goes, dude. And what that does is it loosens up your skin. If you don't eat carbs, your skin's going to

flop around. And he goes, great, got it, did it, went in success. Incredible. I mean, look at me. Look way better. Right. But I'd lost the weight well. And I was eating well for the first time in like 10 years. I'm not snacking on garbage. I'm not doing that stuff. And that's all tied to my mental health. That's all tied to my self-esteem. That's all tight. All of that stuff. All that stuff we live with, that's tied to rejection. And it's tied to all the crap that we've talked about millions of times over.

So they put in drains, which is like basically things to make, because liquid's got to get out and stuff when it's not bonded together yet as a problem. Right. So I've got these two drains. I'm walking around with these two, like donkey testicles on my hip filled with fluid. Really embarrassing. And I want them out. So we get to the point where I can drive and I can go get the drains out. This is the point.

So my mate Dave is going to drive me down to Beverly Hills And go get these drains out I don't feel good I don't know what it is I've been taking nork arms What do you feel like though I've just I've got this weird sort of Like you know when you take eat something bad

You feel like you're gonna throw up And you get the water in your mouth And you're like it's just not it just don't feel good It's not the stomach It's in the mouth it's in the throat And my jaw was hurting on both sides I don't know what you're doing Oh man

This is like A heart attack one-on-one This is heart attack one and one. Is that really like clues to it? I thought it was left arm, you know, your chest tightens. No. My jaw is hurting on both sides in the muscles and the TMJ type muscles. So I looked at my buddy and I was like, no, you got a hold on.

I just don't feel good. It was so bad. I'm literally spitting on my kitchen counter going. I'm not feeling great. And then suddenly, bam, I hit the deck. Hit the deck. I knew I was going down. Did you catch yourself?

I kind of caught myself. So I didn't hit anything. I come to, on the floor, facing the other direction, ice cold, dripping with sweat. My wife's on the phone 911. She thinks I've had a drug interaction. She has no idea what's happened. She calls 911 to the people. There's people in my house.

I sit up, which will make sense in a minute, which is insane. And I'm like, great, I piss myself. so I'm like well I'm going to need I'm going to hospital I guess I'll need some underwear and a pair of sweats and some socks I crawled my kitchen into into the pantry because there's people everybody going what the hell you know the paramedics are there no no ride yet so people are right so I've sparked out and I've come to and I'm ice cold and I am not feeling good so I put on my underwear I get on the pants I put one sock on my head isn't working crawl back out into the kitchen, sit up against the oven.

Next thing I know, there's an EMT's face right in front of me. So I've died a second time. Died. So you don't know you died that first time. Well, I don't know what the hell's happened. All I know is I'm looking in this guy's face and he's right, anybody, tell us what's happened. And it's the Laurel Canyon Mahalong guys.

So it's the almost retired guys who've got like 20, 30 years of experience, each one of them. And this guy's got, he's just paddled me back to life. Inside of you is brought to you by Quince. I love Quince, Ryan. I've told you this before. I got this awesome $60 cashmere sweater. I wear it religiously. You can get all sorts of amazing, amazing clothing for such reasonable prices. Look, cooler temps are rolling in. And as always, Quince is where I'm turning for fall staples that actually last. From cashmere to denim to boots, the quality holds up and the price still blows me away. the kind of fall staples you'll wear non-stop, like Super Soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters,

starting at just 60 bucks. Yeah, I'm going to get you one of those, I think. I like to see you in a cashmere. Maybe a different color, so we don't look like twins. Their denim is durable, and it fits right, and their real leather jackets bring that clean, classic edge without the elevated price tag. And what makes Quince different, they partner directly with ethical factories and skip the middlemen. So you get top-tier fabrics and craftsmanship at half the price of similar brands.

These guys are for real. They have so much great stuff there that you just have to go to Quince. Q-U-I-N-C-E. I'm telling you, you're going to love this place. Keep it classic and cool this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to quince.com slash inside of you for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E. dot com slash inside of you free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash inside of you. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money. Period. It's Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can

grow your savings. This is just a wonderful app. There's a lot of apps out there that really, you know, You have to do this and pay for and that. But with Rocket Money, it's, they're saving you money. You're getting this app to save money. I don't know how many times that I've had these unwanted subscriptions that I thought I canceled or I forgot to, you know, the free trial ran at Ryan. I know you did it. That's why you got Rocket Money.

I did, yeah. And I also talked to a financial advisor recently and I said, I had Rocket Money and they said, that's good. This will help you keep track of your budget. See? see it's only we're only here to help folks we're only trying to give you you know things that will help you so rocket money really does that rocket money shows you all your expenses in one place including subscriptions you forgot about if you see a subscription

you no longer want rocket money will help cancel it rocket money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you the app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals they'll even talk to the customer service so you don't have to Yeah, because I don't want to. Press 1 now if you want to. Get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your accounts, if you're close to going over budget,

and even when you're doing a good job, Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions. With members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features, cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster

with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum in the survey so they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them

from my show inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum. Rocket Money. He just paddled you back to her. My wife is now, oh, this is heart attack. My buddy is there. He's freaking. Everybody's freaking. Somebody took my daughter upstairs so she didn't get to see it she's almost eight my oldest son is there the other one was in

sonoma this is they're all crying no they're freaked it's not crying dude i come to i literally look in this guy's face and i go motherfucker do not let me die i was pissed you remember saying that yeah i remember everything i said i was loo i'm not much of a talker as you know i'm literally talking then i don't know what happens which is me gurgling them going check for pulse chuck for pulse no pulse clear bang I'm like okay so as I was saying it's nuts no L2 one ever any pain from the no because I was dead I was absolutely certain at one point and you can get to ask the question I know you want to ask in a minute but this is what happens right so once on my own I come to three times they paddle me back I'm looking at this

guy and I say, I have three beautiful children. I have a beautiful wife and I have a beautiful life. Do not. Let me die. And he doesn't say what I want him to say. What I really want him to say is, okay, we got you. And he goes, I'll do the best I can. I have no L2 function. I have a hundred percent blockage in the Widowmaker LAD artery. 100%. Yeah, statistically, what, 95% possible survival chance and i got in the car be dead whatever blah blah blah they carry me downstairs they get me into the bus the ambulance i have two further events in the ambulance i'm awake he's smart he gives me nitroglycerin he brings me back round they they calls up st joseph's providence and josephs and he says we're bringing him in they went we're closed we got two guys ahead we can't bring him in he goes go fuck

yourself i'll be there in six and a half minutes i was like okay then i'm now i'm scared I'm in an ambulance and I'm going. Like, when's it happening again? It's, it's, I'm screwed. It happened a few times. Um, but he controlled it and he was incredible. Um, they got me to St. Joseph's in six and a half minutes. So probably about 90 miles an hour hitting every pothole, everything, you can imagine, but

do you remember the drive? I remember every single aspect of it. I was white. You remember just did the car racing and you're just like, no, I'm looking at a man going, keep me alive. Keep me alive. And you can't believe what's going on right now. No, I'm mad, dude.

I was so. angry. I got an eight-year-old daughter. I've got a 24-year-old son who currently has two Grammy nominations this year for his first record. I've got an 18-year-old who's gone to CIA. Sonoma is now just transferred to New York. He's going to be a, you know, whatever, Michigan starts. That's all you can think about. And I'm like, I'm not done. And this made me mad. And this man, I'm looking at this man. I'm like, motherfucker, do not let me die. And he's like, I'm trying the best I can. Gets me there. I have another event in the car park, which I can't really remember. I get into the Code Blue Room, right?

You know where they go nuts and they're throwing shit around. So I've got a title for my autobiography. Shaved by a stranger. They shaved you. I think our whole careers we've been shaved by strangers. Especially me.

So I, yeah, of course. But I sit up on the table. I mean, there's crazy stuff going on, right? And I sit up on the table. I'm going to go, hold on, hold on. As I said, not much of a talker. and I said I have to tell you guys something they've got like what I'm not supposed to be talking I'm not supposed to be functional and I said listen I've got I've just had and I couldn't remember the word abdominoplasty and I finally got abdominoplasty out and they're like yeah and I'm like so I have two drains of my groin so please be careful but far more importantly I have three beautiful children a beautiful wife and a beautiful life and I want to go home it went from silence to on it Eight minutes, cath lab, da, bah, bam, bam, bam, bam, two of the best cardiologists on the planet.

You got cut open right away. No, not cut open. See this tiny little freckle here? Yeah. Guy went through my arm into my chest. I'm in the cath lab and I'm talking. And I'm talking so much that the, you got plumbers and cardiologists are plumbers or electricians. And the plumber is doing the work.

So he finds the 100% blockage. He knows what it is. He knows where it is. He's that good. That's all the stuff they've been doing for eight minutes. Right? And they're in there and now I've got two elephants on my chest and I think I'm going to die. I'm like, I'm not doing well. And I'm talking. What do you say two elephants on your chest? What do you mean? I swear to God, I thought I was being crushed by a truck. It feels that heavy. I thought I was being crushed by a truck. They've given me a drug, slow the fibrillation of my heart down. I'm heart. I'm terrified. I have no control over this at all. Apart from I'm mad and I'm talking. Are you in pain? Yeah. And you're in pain. Now I'm in pain. And they don't give you anything. No, they, they're sliding down my heart, but they've got to operate. They've got to get into this vein. This one damn widow maker vein, which does 60 to 70% of the world. What vein is that?

It's called the LAD, lateral, anterior, whatever that is. And that's the widow maker. That's the one. Oh, sorry, you're dead. So it went in, ballooned it, cut, boom, put a stent in. And I'm talking. Through your arm? From here.

How do they do that? He's a genius. It's things with cameras. I thought they cut your right open. No, no, no, no. Well, if it had failed, that it had ripped my chest open and done that. So almost that. this is where it gets fun oh so i'm talking and he's like can you please shut the fuck up i'm

trying to concentrate i'm like i thought it was helping he's like no no no just let me focus a minute and then i'm suddenly going okay okay i'm starting to feel a little bit better and he's like yeah you got blood flying through your heart asshole just breathe you're okay you're going to be okay it worked get out get me to i see you they get me in they look after me like i've never been looked after my life it's the love fest of my my life i'm terrified And they, this is Friday, Sunday, they're like, you don't want to be in a hospital, dude. You can get sick in the hospital. Go on.

I'm breathing. I'm suddenly going, I can move better than I could move a week ago. This is crazy. How long have I been carrying this? You guys, your heart may have been operating about 60% for the last four or five years. Couldn't lose weight, trouble exercising, grumpy bastard, all this stuff, hereditary. blockage, my dad's cholesterol. Did he die of a heart attack? He died of not enough blood to the brain at a time. It's a complicated thing, but it's, yeah, I should have, you know, but I'd had an EKG

before I'd had the surgery. It doesn't show up. This is plumbing, not electricity. It's not something wrong with my heart or heart disease. And this is the killer. This is just the killer. I'm a lucky boy. Every single person did their job at a level I cannot tell you is one mistake. What success rate when it's your widowmaker? Yeah, you've got a 95% chance of dying. A 5% recovery rate. Mine, 100% blockage, that, those attacks. I'm not so good.

So, they send me home on Sunday. I'm talking to Billy Moran, right? On the phone, he's like, you're alive? I posted the thing that I posted because I wanted to get ahead of it and I knew there was stuff going on and people calling the hospitals and stuff. I'm not that important, but it was a slow news day,

so it became a thing. So all the crawl appears on Channel 5 and everybody's calling, and they're like, so I'm sitting outside in a fire pit. And I'm like, yeah, I'm the luckiest boy alive. My kids are happy. My son has come down from Sonoma. He's heard, you know, he's okay.

He's like, this is brilliant. Start to feel woozy. I'm on the phone with Billy. Woozy, not the same woozy. Just like, I'm on blood thinners. I'm on all this stuff. Almost done with a story. No, I love it.

And this is what's crazy. I don't love it. So this Sunday, one o'clock, something like that. I'm like, ooh, ooh, a little lightheaded. Stop. An hour later, another phone call. Ooh, put my feet up on the outdoor couch. What I don't know happens next, I black out.

My tongue goes back in my throat. My eyes roll up into my head. My eight-year-old's watching me through the window. My wife's screaming, my 18-year-old is in my face, and he's just, you know, everything's fine. Dad's safe for the last two days. He is screaming in my face. like dad wake up wake up i come out of some blackness and go what the fuck do you want it's like

you're going to hospital the same EMT show up they see the address they're like you went home oh we're glad you're alive um what happened and they check i didn't have a heart attack just now they're like they can't work out exactly what's going on we're taking you in it's a love fest we're literally monday morning quarterbacking on a sunday everything that happened remember what you said? Do you remember falling over in the kitchen? It's like, I get to the hospital. They're like, it's the guy that died. He's amazing. It's wonderful. Blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I love you guys. Thank you so much. They put me on fluids. But they say it was. They're trying to work out what it was. It's some sort of event. They can't work out what it is. Maybe you just

passed out. Yeah, but I mean, my wife literally grabbed my tongue and pulled it out my throat. She's like, she's like, whoa, we're not, where are we going? So my little one thinks I've died, but I've come too so they're freaking out so my kids are literally they've lost the plot right they're like I get taking the hospital

everything's okay daddy's fine right get the hospital I'm in the blue do you know you gave a speech in the blue room last time you were here I'm like yeah I do remember that I was kind of upset they're like I'm like thank you

it's just beautiful people being so kind so kind and it's like you know it's getting towards five o'clock and they're like we got a room for you upstairs three north so they take me up to three north i get into the room turn on the tv colombo i'm like i like colombo and what's the next thing so natural no oh shit i bang the fucking thing i'm like help me massive electrical heart attack as my two boys are bringing me sugarfish sushi from

the elevator to cheer me up and have a wonderful day they hear cold blow screaming stuff going on they're like some poor bastard it's dad they walk into the room four nurses pounding my chest as they're bringing machinery in having difficulty reviving me one cracks my sternum right she did a good job she did an incredible job yeah they paddle me three four times they can't bring me out they get me out in the fourth right i wake up i look in the faces and i go am i still in the same room they're like jesus christ he never stops talking my kids are in the room they're like get the family out we're not going anywhere so they watch sorry it's a little harsh no no so i'm in a bed they're going

he's talking he needs to go to the ICU okay they wheeling me to the ICU and i look at this wonderful nurse and i said god just give me a day where i'm not pissing on myself she goes or anybody else so the leader of fluids they're giving me downstairs apparently every time they compress my chest i was pissing about seven feet in the air oh my god i'm mortified they're like honey we've had worse don't worry about it i go into the ICU which means you're watched you're watched completely the worst night of my life i could see you emotional by this sorry about it no no please this is real shit i've talked about it a bunch of stuff but it's like it sounds it sounds so weird no no no i appreciate this i didn't want to go to sleep now my heart's let me

down i was told i was fine and now it's like you're not and i'm like i'm going to die got through dying i got pissed off i fought and i won and it's like oh hold on a second now this has nothing to do with my surgery this has nothing to do with it's hereditary and it the the second attack the second major attack might never have happened but it also could have happened on a plane on a motorcycle in a car anywhere could happen here talking to you right now could happen five years from now it happened in a hospital i was catered for and taken care of within seconds they'd examine my heart when on the first one and they'd said you have like 55% ejection flow which is like 70% is like a marathon runner for my age it's like it's ridiculous you don't get 100%

it's just one of those weird anomalies they're like you're gonna heal you're gonna heal well you're a heart like a pig um but what did they do to you that night when you didn't want to go to sleep you were so scared that you were going to die the most amazing man who was from former belgian congo who most of the nurses don't know anything about this guy he's really quiet he'll leave me alone he's looking at me through a window he came in every hour and we talked talk about our kids talk about his daughter had type 1 diabetes my son has type 1 diabetes talking about what camp it goes to just kept me going I got maybe 30 minutes of sleep and didn't know I slept the whole night.

Now I'm scared. Then the electrician comes to visit. In the morning, he goes, dude, you're in a really interesting position. Draws me a digore in my heart and goes, there's that blockage, there's that blockage. It worked its way around. That's that blockage. That's the one that would have killed you. And he goes, you're a very, very lucky man.

And I'm like, I know it. And he goes, and people were wanting to send me to cedars and go see their people. A lot of love, man. A lot of love from a lot of really cool people going like, you can go see my cardiologist, what have you taken out? And I'm like, I got two guys that used to be in the private sector who decided to go to Providence because they thought people weren't getting good enough care. I hit the jackpot.

I hit the jackpot from the EMTs, the nurses. But did they have to cut you open again? No, nobody cut me open. But how did, so how did they miss that in the beginning and send you home? It's not a miss. It's not a miss. It's a random event. to do with the fact that a part of my heart, there's electrical signals that run over the heart,

there's a part of my heart that has been, got a little bit of scar tissue. It might never have happened in my lifetime, and it happened. So there's no blame, there's no, you shouldn't have gone home. What can they do about it? Nothing. Inside you is brought to you by Rocket Money. If you want to save money, then listen to me because I use this,

Ryan uses this. So many people use Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Crazy, right? How cool is that? Monitorers your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. And you know what's great? It works.

It really works, Ryan. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lowering your bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals. They'll even talk to customer service. Thank God. So you don't have to. I don't know how many times we talk about this, but like, you know, you got it and they helped you in so many ways. And with these subscriptions that you think are like, oh, it's a one month subscription for free and then you pay, well, we forget.

We want to watch a show on some streamer and then we forget and now we owe $200 by the end of the year. They're there to make sure those things don't happen and they will save you money. You know, Rocket Money's five million members have saved a total of five. $500 million in canceled subscriptions with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there's unusual activity in your accounts, if you're close to going over budget, and even when you're doing a good job. How doesn't everybody have Rocket Money?

It's insane. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum. in the survey so they know that I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show. Ontario, the wait is over.

The gold standard of online casinos has arrived. Golden Nugget online casino is live. Bringing Vegas-style excitement and a world-class gaming experience right to your fingertips. Whether you're a seasoned player or just starting, signing up is fast and simple. And in just a few clicks,

you can have access to our exclusive library of the best slots and top-tier table games. Make the most of your downtime with unbeatable promotions and jackpots that can turn any mundane moment into a golden opportunity at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Take a spin on the slots, challenge yourself at the tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort of your own devices. Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino? Gambling problem, call Connects Ontario, 1866-531-2-6-00.

19 and over, physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See golden nuggettcasino.com for details. Please play responsibly. So what happens is the guy looks at me and he goes, you're not leaving here without insurance. Get a second opinion, get a 10th opinion, get whatever makes your family comfortable.

I know what you've been through. Guy's amazing. The name's Mok. Amazing. And then the plumber's called Muku. They're two incredible doctors. And I said, just to wrap this up, I went, so what's my choice is he goes, you're right in the middle of these guidelines, nothing's exact with hearts. And he goes, you've got this wonderful place where we can give you a defibrillator vest and you wear this vest and you do not take it off. You get three minutes to shower with it off and then you have to put it back on. You got a defibrillator vest and that'll keep you alive. It'll, it'll do the paddles for you, right? And three months, months we can work out if you need help any operation anything that we need to do a defibrillator

insert it said said that gives you a choice and I'm like intellectually that's a great idea you know or we you're not you're damaged enough but you're not too damaged we can put it you want to play vagasodes we can put a defibrillator in your chest and I'm like okay that next night I'm like talking to my wife and I'm talking to my kids and I said these are my choice So what do you want to do? And I went, I'm done with us. Wonderful Patel comes around as the head of the ICU. Comes around about six in the morning, five, six in the morning. And I went, call Mukum, I want to defibrillate put in. I don't trust my heart. If my heart went back up to 65, I still think it's going to get me one day. So that night, five o'clock, my electrician cut through my tattoo. He actually spent an extra half an hour super gluing it back together again so you can't see it so it's rather beautiful but come over here put your hand on this it's the coolest thing I put your hand on my chest I put your hand flat I have a chubby morocop in my chest with the taser forever yeah do you have to ever get it

replaced batteries some people they last six seven years they check mine they're going it's going to be 13 years before you need to change it and if anything happens that kicks in that's when the kindness kicked in. When I made that decision, then the nurses started talking to me. And nurses can't afford to become friends with people who die. Because they see people go. It's too hard on them. It's so hard on them. But you know what happened? As soon as I made a decision, the older nurse that was in the ICU, wonderful age, she goes, I just want to tell you, he did my mother's heart. And she had an event about three years afterwards. She had the same thing put in. She was in Nordstrom's, felt bad, sat on the floor.

So went quiet, it fired, she woke up, eight seconds later, and went, I need to go to the hospital. And I went, I'm in. So that's, you'll know. Yeah. I mean, I'll spark out. But they say it may not ever happen. Might never happen. Is it scary living with that thought?

No. You know what's scary? I don't ever want my kids to see me die. They see me fight, which is almost good enough to make up for it. almost they've heard me fight they've heard me tell the world what i want and why this isn't good enough to die now and i'm like and the truth is this is nothing this is a gift this is the greatest gift take the gift shepherd shut the fuck up take the gift and that's what the truth is i asked my eight old daughter almost eight um a couple of weeks ago because she saw me she saw she didn't know

that what happened to me wasn't a heart attack she saw me black out and people screaming and stuff and i looked at her and i she's really smart not precocious smart beautiful smart cool smart i said you scared she goes about that no you have an implanted defibrillator yeah i was looked after by the best of the best of the best and if i hadn't been wanting to lose weight to get fitter i probably wouldn't have survived if i got in my friend's car my friend's last knowledge of me would have been dying in his car they couldn't have got pedals on me fast enough so am i grateful uh yeah have i found some huge no i was already in that place the weird thing was you know me well enough to know I was in a massive change spot

I'm in a change position I am hungry to do something now I've done what I've been doing you know I've had these incredible signposts in my life I've had these incredible moments in the name of the father you know everything weird television stuff battle star supernatural for what it is

absolutely incredible change my life my life would not be the same without it I'm ready for my next and I'm like I'm going to do something about this and as they do it is oh by the way you need to fix this so it's humbling um the tummy tuck thing is embarrassing but it was the best thing i could do with a massive cancer scar you know it's like i'm going like but i couldn't lose weight because my heart wasn't functioning i couldn't i just couldn't get that is there is there a fear like did you lose some of this fear now that we

all that we all have with you know we're worried about this we're worried about the little thing after something so traumatic on a grand scale this is probably the top something like this happens does it give you more confidence to think who gives a fuck about all that little stuff i'm going to do what the fuck i want to do no that would be a lie the truth is there's a massive depression that comes from having an abdominal plastic it's a major surgery there's a massive depression that comes from having this kind of heart attack incident there is i'm sober a long time i've got incredible friends I've got people who support me. My wife is extraordinary.

My kids are extraordinary. I've got backup. But it's like, it's humbling in the most beautiful way. If, you know, if there be a god, if there be, you know, something in the universe that takes care of one, I really believe right now, I think it's the easiest way I say on it is I was presented with the choice. So I'm, I passed out in front of the oven, the second one time. down first time i don't know what the hell's going on i get up and i move i mean ridiculous you're not supposed to do stuff like that the second time they paddled me awake just before that i absolutely knew i was dead i knew if i breathed out or some version of breathing out and relaxed

it was over clear as about and i know there's a drug that your body releases when when you're in that and that's when you see what's that called uh em something no it's called look it up dm something that's DM, yeah. But it's like a lucidogen. And, you know, I remember taking hallucinogens in Sweden. But that didn't release because you weren't dead. Oh, it released. And you didn't see anything.

Oh, I did. What did you see? You really want to know? Yeah. At the end of this fucking tunnel of whatever I'm in where I'm knowing, just breathe, it's over. I'm just going. The streets of San Francisco, television series. A TV show?

Started to look a little bit like a Y-50, like the old one, in the color. And I'm literally going, really? Fuck you. Fuck you. Was it peaceful? No. Fuck off. Not interested.

Fuck off. Okay, he's back. That's what you saw. Like waves and. I'm no, fucking, it's over there. And I'm like, fuck off. You just didn't want any part of that, whatever that was beginning to be.

Not done yet. That's, you had enough thought. Heaven is a one out of television series. You know, because you hear all these stories from many people that they see out of body experiences. Oh, yeah, but I mean, remember, it's a massive hallucinogen, right? Yeah, but here's my brain.

You know me long enough, right? Here's my brain. Take a bunch of acid in Sweden in 1981 or something. And I walked from the South Island of Stockholm to the North Island of Stockholm, three feet in the air. I was going, this is boring. So maybe I cheated myself out of the beautiful hallucinogenic aspects or whatever. You know, people see lights. People are shining lights on them.

People see themselves being above. So I guess that's similar to what happened. And I'm like, no. Could you see it? God's like, come into the light. the light is warm the fuck off i worked with her god no they're coming to the light the light is good a little wonderful tan she played tangine i forgot where her name was i worked with her in a film years and years and years ago was she sweet she's lovely she was the sweetest but

they couldn't get past the voice it was terrifying so so my friends so i'm telling you i'm telling you this is unbelievable but yeah i mean did you think of like i know you said you want like did you think of like was there a time where you're like i don't need i don't want to act anymore i don't want to do anything anymore i just this happened and i want to just focus on more important i was already sitting there going i need a guy and kill i'm so sick of not doing what i want to be doing a drop weight might be taking a little bit more seriously than what i'm doing i look a lot younger need a haircut but geez i didn't have a shower for nine weeks i was losing weight and the tummy tuck and the whole thing i'm like i've done the work it's not like i just i had it all cut off and

and do it. I'm literally, I'm working out and I'm doing all the stuff. At the tummy time I'm going to go to recover and I have a heart attack. Now it's really hard to recover. Now I'm on blood thinners. Now I'm on this. I'm on that. I'm healthier than I have ever been. And how long ago did this happen? Four weeks ago. I think so. I think it's four I had back surgery five and a half weeks ago and I'm not nearly recovered. You're like fully recovered from a huge thing. My wife has four screws in her back. Yeah. L5 has one. She just did it. Do you think you and your wife honestly are closer now that this happened? I think she's mad at me. Why? Because she was recovering from back surgery and she was expecting. You had to deal with

this? The tension's on you again. It's always about you. I love my wife. She is the most, she's the kindest person I know. But I mean, I scared the crap out of it. Of course. Have you talked to your kids? Did any therapy after this? They both have therapists. They are good. That's trauma. That's PTSD. You don't want to watch your dad die. No. And then come back and talk about. about it. It's like, well, we're good. So I got some, I got some well-rounded kids and they're not, they're not pretending it's cool.

Nobody's pretending this is cool. Isn't it amazing that, you know, sometimes it takes something like this to happen, God forbid, but to see how much, like you said, how much love that you, that people would be there at your funeral. They would care. They would, all these things. Well, that's the lack of self-esteem that I've always had. I mean, I'm sober 34 years old.

But the truth is, I got the giggles when it started because they're like, you asshole, you know, you know people care. You've always known people care. I was treated with so much love. Did you ever talk to those paramedics again? Yeah. That was the promise. Come visit. Did you ever do it?

Mm-hmm. You went and saw the paramed. Send them cookies. I'm actually, I'm about to go send them, a friend of mine is a wonderful barbecue chef, so I'm going to go have them catered. because that's what you do that's gotta get them catered dude they they work hard they they came to the two of them came to the hospital and checked that i'd survived after the friday they just wanted to know and they don't have to get involved man they don't have to it costs it costs to care yeah but the love i was shown i literally blew my mind and i got to do things that surprised me there was a nurse that was looking after me one night and she was having a massive

crisis of confidence, post-COVID, post all the stuff that was going on. And I was like, you have the most beautiful temperament. Like, if you quit, it's going to be a loss. You were the most amazing. And she just maybe couldn't take it anymore. And the next day, I was in a really good, you know, I was lucky to get to speak to her. You know, she was just a kind of, and she's watching me, 12 hours. And I called a boss in and I said, I think she's having a really hard time.

I said, she's really good, isn't she? She goes, yeah, she's amazing. And I said, I think she wants to quit. She's like, thank you for telling us. I need to go take it for coffee. Just little things, just tiny things. Wow. A man that nobody knows anything about.

It strips you of ego at a level. You cannot. Yeah, you're pissing yourself seven feet up in the air. You're like, what about like the fear? The night that you had this fear. Right. That you were like, and this guy kept, what was his name? I can't tell you his name.

Aiden, Adrian. Keps, keeps looking out the window, keeps talking about family and this and that, and keeps an eye on you. You said you had this fear, like you didn't want to go to sleep. Absolutely. Was there really, like,

it was the most scared you've ever been in your life? Yeah. Because I thought I had my heart under control after the Friday. I beat it. I beat it, dude. I got a stent in there. It's unblocked. I can breathe.

Everything's better than it was when I, before I had the heart attack. And then I get this other one. like who knew and i'm like who knew who knew that's not good enough that's terrifying so guess what so they put the machine in the machine can go in an MRI if they adjust it so i my wife bought me this wonderful medical is that the phone and i can't get up thing it no it doesn't i don't press the but i actually have a thing by my bed that i press the button that's what they come and they look and they can tell you know they rip my shirt open because i'm unconscious and it says mark a

shepherd implanted defibrillate it's like don't paddle me if they do it would happen this is what so i call boston scientific and i'm like okay i got a question for you i get on a lot of planes so if i spark out on a plane i'm obviously going to tell them that i have this on me but do i tell them if i'm unconscious please don't put the paddles on or please do put the battles on they're like great question but we're not doctors we're we're technicians we have you have to talk to your doctor and you have to get us the settings and I'm like in the middle of the doctor's like before they can get the paddles you'll be you'll be up I'm like okay but what and he's like

so I've now got this thing where I'm going I've got a plane you know so this is what it leads to and this is the sad part you know I have a lot of motorcycles well I've had a lot of motorcycles in my time I've been lucky enough to be a Dukadi ambassador and it's an indulgence that I love I can't be within 24 inches of a running engine why

electromagnetic interference and I can't work a jackhammer but wait a minute so you can't get on a motorcycle and you can't what about a car cars how many feet my car is a front mid engine I'm close I'm close no

no I can't be doing that stuff I have V12 for God's sakes why we don't want something with a battery you got a truck don't you yeah um no there's a firewall and there's all sorts of stuff but when you're on a racing motorcycle or any of my bikes i'm within 24 inches of of coils alternators what about a roller coaster i can there's no engine but can you go on a roller coaster yeah vibration's not great i have no restrictions that's the other thing is you like so like great so we're talking about this great

thing and it's like all my friends are like are you like do you want to eventually go back to work. I'm like, I'm healthier than I was before the attack. I'm ready to go. Yeah, your, your, your, your, your heart was functioning at like 60% of what it was. Do you notice a huge difference now? Like, is it night and day of the energy you feel when you wake up? Do you notice the difference? Can you hear me? Yeah, but I want to know like you, like you, personally. Yes. Absolutely. Have you had sex since the four weeks? Absolutely. How soon after did you have sex? Pretty soon. My wife's pretty amazing. Before the heart. heart attack again in the kitchen what do you mean before well you got sent home oh no

no how the kitchen started but then you got sent home yeah but that's two days so yeah i was kind of laid up for a while but right dude i'm not afraid that's not the i don't have heart disease i'm a very lucky man i do not have heart disease i don't have congestive heart failure i don't have any of these things i'm not just had a blockage i literally had a blockage and then had an electrical which means i've got to be on some drugs and be looked like what drugs do you take uh i got five of them first sega brilinter baby aspirin for the rest of your life though right yeah you know what though three of those are going to be gone in three months oh you stop taking them you take that that and that and that and you're done i got i got to i got watch my cholesterol but i'd already started on that path looking out to myself who called

you that you were surprised they called you yeah i don't know that i could you know what i can tell you that you love pedowitz c w oh really yeah how was that wow i got a message from somebody i won't say what it is but i got a message from somebody says i don't want to see a world without you in it wow i got the motherfucker tom o penicott sent me the greatest message i've ever heard where he berated me endlessly for almost dying edward james almost called me at home we discuss what happens when we both have nearly died in the last year. Yeah, I know, I talked to him. But Eddie called me, oh, a murky, you know, it's joy.

You see how many people like you? Cricky, no, it's not that. It's, and it's, yeah, I mean. Padilecky? Oh, God, yeah. Jensen? Two minutes. Yeah?

Yeah, Cliff, everybody, everybody. Mitch? Yes. Pellecky? No, Mitch, but Mitch passed on a miss. He what? Mitch, me and Mitch have had the funniest relationships. He's coming on.

First season, X-Files. I love that man. He never knows when I'm taking the piss or not. But I love that, man. I really do love that, man. Ever wonder how dark the world can really get? Well, we dive into the twisted, the terrifying, and the true stories behind some of the world's most chilling crimes.

Hi, I'm Ben. And I'm Nicole. Together we host Wicked and Grim, a true crime podcast that unpacks real-life horrors, one case at a time. With deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink to take the edge off, we're here to explore the wicked and reveal the grim. We are wicked and grim. Follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform.

Did you, do you feel like you pray now at all? I've always prayed. You have? I'm sober 34 years. No, I mean, pray. Do you like, you pray to God, you thank you for, or the universe or? There was a wonderful guy who was sober, probably seven, 70 years when he died,

truly amazing man that I loved a lot. And he hated the whole Judeo-Christian stuff. So he found his way through, his own way through. This is a man that brought, you know, A to prisons. I mean, you're talking about, cool dude. Six, seven. I knew Jack when he was 90 as well.

Amazing man. And his prayer was the most beautiful thing I ever heard in my life. You know it? Oh, yeah. You get up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, whatever. You go to the mirror in the evening and say, enough. It's taken me 30-odd years to work out how profound that is.

Like whatever happens. Whatever. Whatever you want to give me. And the end of the day, enough. It's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. He was an amazing man. You know, I'm at Cubby Selby and was a mentor of my.

and he was in that same vein. But it's not epithets and prayers. A lovely quote in Simpsons when Lisa's walking past Bart's room and Bart's praying is, ah, prayer, last refuge of a scoundrel. That's amazing. But, no, man, am I grateful? Of course I'm grateful. Am I happy?

Yeah. Am I angry? Yeah. Am I ready? Yeah. I just wanted to come and see you, tell you what happened. Now that this has happened, you will let things go a little more easily? I kind of hope so, but I don't think that's what it was.

I think all it really did was remind me, it's profound, but I think all it really did is remind me I'm not in charge. And that these things are fleeting and time is fleeting. And I was so mad at the idea that my daughter said, like see me graduate go to college yeah see my sons do what they're doing see my wife conquer the things her back the stuff that she's gone through as you know we talked about this it's like the pain that she's been in for the last nine years and the struggle she had and then it got cold and her back's now hurting she's terrified it's going backwards it's not it's just the cold she has four titanium screws in her back you know you know you know you know you know and I can't

fix it and give me two hammers and a screwdriver and I can't fix you or her or anyone else and it grates on us and it's difficult and stuff and yeah what's important who did your children break down when they hug they hug you and cry when my kids are like that they don't break down but they are honest emotionally who took it the hardest i mean it's an ongoing thing because it is their therapists send me messages we want to talk about call their therapists are going if you need to talk i've worked with people that have been through this this is a major deal wow it's you want to talk about nothing but love dude i mean nothing but love sure it's shocking it's funny i peed seven feet in the air about heart attacks and i survived that's funny that's me telling a funny

story but the truth of it is is not one person made a mistake i had no control if i did have any control it was fight motherfucker fight are you scared of dying at this point now after it would happen no do you think you were more scared of dying before this happened and now you're not as scared i was more scared of dying on sunday because true i thought i had it right i'm the golden boy i beat it no and then i was like one more thing i was a combo it's literally life is columbar one more one more one more thing you had a heart attack on sunday but the doctors told you to go home oh one one but it's i can't sum it up it is beautiful but i i've never wanted to work more in my life than i do right now i've got a friend over a brilliant british screenwriter and playwright

BAFTA Ward winning guy. And he's just great. And he was like, you sure you still want me to come over? Like, yeah. So we're working on something, as I said. And it's a little bit secret. But if that comes together, it's, oh, my God,

I just saw something that just made me feel wonderful. Wow. What? You have an Alvira piece there? You mean the box of cereal, Alvira? Yeah. Yeah, she's a sweetheart. Okay.

You remember the movie? Yeah, of course. Starring Elvira and D. W. Morgan Shepherd. That's my dad playing the uncle. Wow. Yeah. It's right in your eye line. I have the post then. It's just, it's a, do I, do I question? It's the fact that my are, my eyes are open, my heart is open right now, very much so. Yeah. And the little things. It's just the fact that we can see them. Just relax. I now see. And I'm like, yeah. Well, let me ask you this lastly. Then I'll let you go, because this is, this has been unbelievable.

It's a bit of a downer. No, it's not. See, it's been enlightening and encouraging and inspiring and educational. My last question really was, during any of this, was there a point where you said, Dad, I might be seeing you soon or Dad, did you ever, did you think he said anything or thought of your dad? I think of my dad all the time, but I don't have this associative understanding of him being somewhere else. My dad is always with me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm very cynical about concepts of heaven. My daughter said something beautiful the other day. Her concept of heaven that she's working on is the idea not she has no belief in hell. She goes, I don't think there's

such a thing because she said the concept of heaven. It's a, it was she described it as a series of rooms that has your good memories. I feel that. that way too. I was like, like only things that make you feel good. And it's, no, no, no, no. And she goes,

there are other rooms which have your bad memories in it too, but they're there to help you because it's a balance. Oh. And they said, but you don't get to go there until you've looked at your life

and realized whether you've been selfish, whether you've been unkind, whatever. Not that you go to hell or you, you don't go to heaven, but you don't get to go in until you've looked and you've examined.

And I'm like, oh, she said, I borrowed a bit of that from soul. I'm like, the truth is, the truth is, I know I'm loved. And the more that I love, the better my life is. And I love you. I love you.

Thank you so much for this. My pleasure. Wow. I remember the look on your face afterwards. You were like, wow. That's all you could say. It was just, Mark, thank you. I love you.

Thank you for opening up and doing it on my podcast, man. It means the world to me. And I hope you're continuing to get stronger. And I'm glad you're here with us. Yeah. I mean, we both felt the thing. He's got the thing. I was so.

Yeah, the little pacemaker or whatever. He's like, just touch it, Mike. I'm like, no. We touched it. He made us touch it. Touched the. Is that her husband keeping her life? No.

I know. I know. I know. She's just proud of it. Yeah, it's awesome. But yeah, thank you guys. Thanks for listening. If you really like this podcast and you're like, wow, you know, not bad. Subscribe. Write a review. It really helps the podcast. We're not the biggest podcast out there by any stretch of imagination. And we're just trying to slowly build our way up. And a big shout out to Jason, my editor, who I adore and he's doing great work. And Bryce, my producer, and a good shout out to Ryan Tejas. Should I clarify if I was a defibrillator? Defibrillator. Defibrillator. But again, without my patrons, I don't know if this podcast would be here. So why don't read out the top tier patrons who give back to the show in more ways than one.

Go to patreon.com slash inside you become a member, get your name shatted out. And if you missed the whole first spiel, listen to that. I'm not going to say everything I said. But everything is found on my Instagram link tree and cameo and where I'm going for and my Rosie's puppy fresh breath and the inside of you online store and all that stuff. So go rock it. Here are the top tier patrons. Nancy D. Leon Christen, Little Lisa, Ukiko, Jill E, Brian H.

Nico P. with a smart son Zachary. Robert B. Dreamweaver, Jason W. Sophie M. Raj. C. Hi, Sophie and Raj. Jennifer N. Jennifer Library Jen My sweet library Jen

Stacy L I just sent you a box And Jennifer L Jamal F I just set you a box Janelle B I just sent you a box Mike E I just sent you a box El Don Supremo I didn't send your box yet but I will

99 more Santiago M Leanne P Just sent your box Maddie S Belinda and Dave Whole hello Dave and Sheila G me go to sure Brad D Ray H Tab of the T Tom and Taliate M

Betsy D Rian C Cori K Dev Nex and Michelle A Jeremy C Brandy Dini Brandy Dini Brandy Dini Brannie Dine Eugenia Cori Mel S I'm sorry I don't know the status of NGio Boxes

Christine S Eric H Shane R Andrew M Oracle Amanda R Kevin E Stephanie K Jorell Jem and Jee Leanne J Luna R. Mike F. Stonehenge. Brian L. Jules M. Kendall L. Jessica B. Kyle F. Love you, Kyle. Love you. Jessica. Kendall. Everybody I love you. Kaylee J. Brian A. Marion Louise L. Romeo the band. Frank B. Gentie Nicki L. April R.M. What do you think that stands for?

Rotation for a minute. Whatever. Randy S. J.D.W. Orl P. Rachel D. L. L. Hi. Laurel I that's a great name there's a song by um Lorelai let's spend the night together I think it was sticks Melissa H Nick W Stephanie and Evan Charlene A Don G Jenny B John Jennifer R Tina E NG Tracy Junie Tasha S and Keith B couldn't do it without you I love you all thank you for listening to the podcast from the Hollywood Hills in Hollywood California I am Michael Rosenbaum I'm right as I'm here too a little way

wave to the camera and guys um it's very simple just just try and be good to yourself will you just uh do it i hope you have a glorious week and um do something fun have a good time you know we only get this life as far as we know let's let's do this all right yeah be good to yourself Hi, I'm Joe Sallsee. I host of the Stacking Benjamin's podcast. Today, we're going to talk about what if you came across $50,000. What would you do? Put it into a tax-advantaged retirement account. The mortgage. That's what we do. Make a down payment on a home. Something nice. Buying a vehicle. A separate bucket for this edition that we're adding. $50,000. I'll buy a new podcast. You'll buy new friends. And we're done. Thanks for.

We're playing, everybody, and we're out of here. Stacky Benjamin's, follow and listen on your favorite platform.