Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Matthew Lillard

Episode Date: August 20, 2019

Matthew Lillard (Scooby-Doo, Scream, The Descendants) discusses the fulfillment and purpose he’s come to discover reflecting on his acting career, notably after coming off his busiest year with the The Descendants. Matt covers everything from stories about Scream and Scooby Doo to even opening up on various different social struggles he dealt with growing up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Guys, I want to thank you for all your support. And don't worry, inside of you is still hanging around. We're doing it without your support. We wouldn't be doing it. And I see so many people wearing shirts and telling their friends. And I've just been enjoying the hell out of this. I really found purpose. And I found you and you found me.

And so keep listening and spread the word. On another good note, before we get into Matthew Lillard, I have a new podcast. Of course, inside of you will still hear. Don't worry on Tuesdays. But starting on Monday, August 26th, in love with Michael Rosenbaum and Chris Sullivan. Chris Sullivan, this is us, nominated for an Emmy, Guardians of the Galaxy. What else? The Nick, I mean, the guy's been in everything.

He's the nicest, sweetest guy. He was a guest on Inside of You, and we just became friends. And we're like, why don't we do a podcast? He's married. I'm single. We talked to our married friends. My ex-girlfriend was on the show, on the new show, and she brought her baby in. and like, why didn't it work out with us?

It's just a real interesting perspective on relationships. And we talk about what we're grateful for, what we love. It's a, I think you're going to really enjoy it. Today, on inside of you, we're going to air the teaser for In Love with Michael Rosenbaum and Chris Sullivan. And it's a five-minute teaser. I hope you'll listen to it. Follow us in all the social media at In Love podcast on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

There's a hotline. You can call up and leave messages and ask us questions. Chris and I will be happy to answer them. 3-2-3-207. 756-76. I'm going to listen to the teaser. Then we'll get into Matthew Little, but remember every Monday, starting on the 26th, In Love with Michael Rosenbaum and Chris Sullivan. Let's listen to that teaser. Welcome to In Love with Michael Rosenbaum and Chris Sullivan, where we explore the universal language of love. Walk through the struggles of love lost. And together navigate the bumpy and gratifying road to happiness. You know, loving myself, working on my state of mental health.

And I never thought it would go this far. You said we'd just be friends. But I'm standing here full of emptiness, I confess. I'm a beautiful man. You know, I called you up, Chris, and I said, I want to do a show. with you because I like you. You were on my podcast inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum. And I just was like, I like you. You're a good human being. And I, as I get older, I want to surround myself with better human beings. People I care about. People who care about me. People who want to see me do

better. Right. And I just felt like instantly you said, hey, every day I like to text a friend what I'm grateful for in the morning. And I was like, what? Who are you? You don't do this in Hollywood and I started like finding myself texting you going Chris I'm grateful for my dogs I'm grateful that I woke up this morning I'm grateful even to my ex-girlfriend for dumping me I'm grateful for and by being grateful it's a necessity in life and it just made me think I want to do a podcast about I don't even know what it's about in the beginning until we sort of hashed it out we kind of talked about it well we said let's talk about the things that we're in love with there's enough negativity flying around there's enough sarcasm there's enough irony. So let's talk about the things that we love. Let's talk about the people we love. Let's talk about how we love others. Let's talk about our friendship and how it's growing. Life in general and it's just not, you know, it's not always good. Like, you know, there's lost love. I've been brokenhearted. Everybody out there has been, you know, they've had their heartbroken. You've had

your heartbroken. It's like, how do you keep love? How do you deal with lost love? This is a show about what, Chris? Well, it's a show about being in love. Being perpetually single. Sharing your life with someone. Sleeping with two dogs. We're going to talk about what it means to be be vulnerable. I don't know what that means. I know. We're going to talk about couples therapy. I'm going to talk about going to couples therapy alone. We're going to talk about having respect for your partner. Farting whenever you want. See, on the in love podcast, we are going to break down things that we love and we will talk to you, our listeners, and our guests about the things that they love. Yeah. And in the end, we hopefully will come out

better friends. Better lovers. Well, not you and me. Yeah, they get it. And better human beings. Yeah, I think that's good. We'll have our listeners call the In Love Hotline, answering your questions. I like this because this is kind of cool. So every week we'll have a hotline. The In Love Hotline number is 323-207-5676. And you guys, your questions will be answered, hopefully. You know, we'll pick the best ones, keep them short, you know, like 20 seconds or 30 seconds.

And we're going to do, to the best of our knowledge between a guy who's been single his whole life, guy who's married. You know, we've been through everything together. We're going to give you our opinion on what things you should do or what you should do. Ask us questions about love, about life, about relationships. 80s yacht rock. We have all of the answers on that subject. Yeah, and you know what? Celebrity guests and their partners will come in on some of these shows.

They'll give us some insight into what makes their relationships work. And you know, celebrities are fucked up. You know, their relationships hardly ever work. Most of the time. Can you get Mandy Moore and her husband? No, but I can probably get Michael Moore. Listen, we're going to bring my wife in, Rachel? Dude, I think that's a great idea because I want to hear the shit.

Because there's no way it's a perfect marriage. Listen, what we have realized that, especially when it comes to relationships, it's not about the one. There is no the one. It's about the work. And you put the work in and you get out what you put in. I like that. We're also going to talk to your ex-girlfriends. We are.

To your assistant. To your friends. She's signed to a non-disclosure. That's right. Well, we're tearing it up because we are going to discuss why you are single and what keeps going wrong. But if anybody's listening to this, that's a girl, which hopefully we'll have a lot of female listeners, maybe they won't want to be with me. I'm going to be honest and vulnerable about things.

I'm not going to give you a bunch of bullshit. Listen. That's one of the things I like about this show. This is going to be us being honest. And any time we're going to call bullshit. That's right. Honesty and vulnerability, even in situations where someone may have flaws or may have some kind of damage is attractive, Michael. Thank you.

I think, Chris. No, I do. I am damaged. I think we're all damaged. We're all broken people, just trying to put ourselves back together. And maybe on this podcast, we can help each other do that. Every week, come join us and hopefully become better people in this dark, dark world. Let's bring some light into this world, brother.

A little bit of love. In love with Michael Rosenpaw. And Chris Sullivan. We're a beautiful man. Yeah, yeah. you're blown away by my you're a palace of masculinity this is a palace of masculine is that what it is yes why because first of all um you have geek like you have stuff you're a collector your your nature is to collect things i don't have that so i look around and there's like jerseys masculine

jerseys and they're signed by dudes who are probably sweaty when they signed it am i covering up something Is that what you're insinuating? You have great abs. No, I don't. Not so much right now. What are you talking about? Well, I don't have great abs. You haven't seen my abs.

Anybody with a T-shirt could cover their abs. I look like a thin guy, but maybe my abs are just like abless. I'm telling you. I really don't want proof. I want you to look like you're in good shape. I'm in this. I'm not in good shape. You just did a movie?

No, no. You just did something because your hair is really handsome. Yes, I have blonde hair. Now, I like it. I think you look good and blonde. My wife is. not appreciative. She is not interested in having

a husband middle age with one. What do you think? How old do you? Why do you have these young kids? Look at it. He makes me feel old. God damn it. Now let me tell you something. Isn't it exciting for you because your wife gets to have sex with a different person almost? She's not interested in having sex with. Because she doesn't like your hair.

Yeah, well, because we've been together for 20 years. What was the longest partner you've ever had? Three years. I like he said partner, too. Well, I'm just saying, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not going to assume anything in this day. Listen, a lot of people have assumed I'm gay in the past. Well, not a lot, but... Is that true?

Yeah, my mom, my, uh... What? My, you know, family friends. You know, when you're in Hollywood and you're actor, I played transvestites. I've been gay in movies. People, you know, could say that. But I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, so it doesn't bother me. Sure.

I'll kiss a man in the lips. I'd kiss you right now if you've brushed your teeth. It's all about good breath. It's not about gender. I've had coffee. So you can have coffee breath. Yeah, it's probably not the best kiss you've ever had. Do you...

Pretty scratchy, but I do have blonde hair. So that would be an intimate moment. Thank you for a moment to be inside of you today, Matthew Lillard. That's nice. You don't like Matthew, you like Matt. I like anything this side of shithead. Really? Yeah.

How long have you been doing this, by the way? This podcast? Yeah. I mean, really, we had a launch in June was our real launch, like to start the show. Did you bank a bunch of them? Yeah, we bank quite a few. In fact, we have, you know, if I go off to do a show or whatever, a movie, I have like a comfort, like a three-month zone. Oh, wow.

so I have a lot. But, you know, we bump up. Like if, you know, the guest is good, no pressure, or if something's coming out. I'm stripping right now. Cut too. I'm stripping. I'm nuding up. I'm going to do the entire nude. Dude, you're taking your shirt off right now. This is amazing. Oh, my God, you have a great body. See how I could spin that and people think you're really naked? Oh, this is terrible. I don't know. Now they know you're lying. I don't have, I've always been that tall guy who was oddly fat on the inside. Well, you did a movie about a kid who was overweight, right? I did. I directed a movie called Fat Kid Rules of the World. Yeah. was that any of that inspired by like you of course yeah thank god how were you fat as a child i was

that's not the right word um what's the word obese that sounds worse than fat i don't think i was i wasn't obese it doesn't matter here's the funny thing people are like you i always talk about my weight for some reason i always make a joke about not having abs or um it doesn't matter actually what you are physically because you can be in in good shape if you still feel like you're a fat kid then you are going to feel like a fact you know it's funny as i've always i still feel like the small smallest kid in high school the kid that got picked on the kid that didn't get laid couldn't get nailed in wood shop right you know that's i do feel like that i feel even though i have confidence and all this stuff but i still have that feeling of like sure that little boy who didn't get approval from his daddy

so i i understand the uh the psychology of that yeah so what you're saying is you've always felt yeah i've always look i've always felt like he you know i i mean for me me like high school wasn't a great time why have a great time well i had a severe learning disability what what was that dyslexia no it wasn't dyslexia i couldn't i couldn't process auditorily so i could if you tell me um the rules of math like you explain it somebody has to explain it to you and i have to look at it on the board and they explain it i that does not go through my brain yeah i think if i read it like if you give me a history book i'm money i could read at a really high level i couldn't do math what was here

I like when people teach me things. If they're a good teacher and they can articulate in a way that's interesting and pleasant and for some reason there was those good teachers like Mrs. Rao, my history teacher, she made history interesting. Mrs. Muller with English. We did Romeo and Juliet and I got like an A-minus on the fucking quiz. Sure. I mean, because she was interesting.

Were you a good reader? I don't think I'm a good reader. I think I have ADD. So what happens is I read and then I read three pages and realize I don't know what the fuck I just read Right and I got to do something else Do you do that or you read and you comprehend? You get it. I had really Crazy reading comprehension See that's amazing because I think that's why it's harder for me to learn lines these days No, it's because you're old how old do you know? How old do you? No it is it happens Dude your brain starts to fall I mean it just doesn't stick like you used to

Well I work like if you're working if you're all like you know if you're working a lot if you're on a show like that muscle comes back. It does. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm test screening for a show and, and now I'm kind of like, oh my God, I got to learn these lines. Can I still learn these lines? And now you have to go and get a job in light of not having a job. Like, it's always easy to get a job if you have a pocketful of money and you've been working and you go from one thing to the next thing. But it's when it's when that space happens and like that fear starts to creep in that really screws you. Well, it's probably for you. You have a family. So you're not just thinking about Matt Lillard. You're thinking about Mrs. Lillard. What's the

miss his name? Heather. Heather Lillard? Yeah, yeah. That's 19 this year, yeah. I don't know why I knew that. Maybe I read something. That's crazy. That's a lot. And you have two children? Three. Three children. So you have to work. You can't eff around. Like, for me, I'm a single guy. I've had this house for many years. So I can sort of have a little bit of of a limit of effing around. Oh, that's good. I don't have. I mean, I have that. I have that because we, you know, we have structured our life now that we can get through no matter what. Do you have a business manager? Yeah, I do. Do you pay them like a monthly thing? No, no.

I mean, I do have somebody that helps me monthly sort of stay on track with taxes, but not like they don't pay my bills. I pay my bills. You pay your bills. Yeah. But there is this thing. I mean, people may not know is that there's a thing in Hollywood that people will pay a percentage of your check to have somebody basically write your checks for you. So you don't have to ever worry about your own money. And you always hear about the Billy Joel's of the world and the, uh, the rappers, MC Hammer, who then go bankrupt.

Yeah. And I used to do it. I used to do it. I mean, I used to be famous. Because you were told by your age. You need a business. Yeah. And I also like, I made money and I didn't really, and I was a kid, like this bastard here.

I was 20, you know, 26 or 27 years old and you're making money. Tyler's not making money. That's the difference with you, too. But, but people would be like. He's making money off this editing of our show. What a treat. He's really good. I'm broke his shit.

You do not need a business. pay me at all actually you do not need a business manager wait a minute i'm paying you um but yeah but i guess so a hundred bucks and you get a credit in junior college yeah well he gets paid yeah per per podcast he edits the podcast he's been with us since the beginning right yeah and he's been he's fantastic i know he went off on a tanger we went down we're tired of tyler we're back but you know i'm not going to tell you how much he makes but i think it's a fair thing but i think he's worth a lot more If this was a blow-up kind of podcast, like just blowing this shit up. So it's good.

Right. But like if it gets bigger. What is blowing up? I mean, like our buddy Dax. He comes over one day. He does my podcast and then he gets the idea. I want to do a podcast because I liked yours. And then all of a sudden he then goes, hey, could I borrow Rob?

My producer, Rob, who's usually sitting where Tyler is. I go, sure. You're one of my best friends. Can have anything you want. Take my house. And then next thing, you know, he's gotten hundreds. I mean, he's huge. That podcast is huge.

I think I got a podcast of the year or some shit. Oh, that's good. So I wonder what I'm doing wrong. And then I think, wait a minute, they know a lot of celebrities that are on fucking Ellen. You know, Krista. The two of them are big. But yeah, and they're the most humble people in the world. It sickens me.

They're so good. They're dear humans. They're dear humans that look on Instagram and it's like she's doing something for teachers. She's doing something for cancer. And I'm sitting there going, hey, I'm on cameo. You know? What the fuck's wrong with me? I'm not rich as them.

I'm not rich. No, it's not rich. It doesn't they do with rich. Do you do that cameo thing? Have you done it? Now, here's the thing. I heard some people are like, oh,

you know, it gets a bad rap. Oh, it gets a, but, you know, it's a contract. You know, it's like some people love it.

And, you know, my buddy Sean Ashton, who's, you know, and Rudy. I like Sean. Great guy. And he's like, you should do this.

I'm like, why? He's like, because people who will never meet you who might want to meet you, have the opportunity to meet you and you can't talk to tons of people thousands and thousands of people and say happy birthday or have a great wedding but with this you can so people can go on there and go Matt Lillard I'm a huge fan I've always been a fan of yours and I never can meet you because I live in fucking turtlenex Saskatchewan sure and I just want you know I want to I want to I look if

somebody writes me a sends me a letter with a picture I sign it and send it I don't make him pay for it right I do it you send me a picture I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna do conventions I do conventions yeah and here's what i think about conventions because at first you know there's part of me that was like ah and then i thought you're an idiot where do you go for vacation man uh what do you like we don't really go i mean we're going to look at college not with that hair not with that hair you're not with my wife no we don't i mean we'll go to europe once we try to go to europe okay the kids out fair enough you go to europe these folks they love sci-fi world they love uh harry potter they love smallville they love scream they love whatever and it's their vacation sure so they're

they're there to spend money and get an autograph. Now, would it be worth my time if I just was like, hey, I'm going to go there once a month to a different place and just sign autographs for the hell of it and pay for my own flight. I just couldn't do that.

Right. Who would do that? So this is some thing. And I always like, you know, I think it's important. Like when you, you know,

you give a lot of attention to someone. But at the end of those days, I'm exhausted. Oh yeah, because you're just like going, hey, man, what's going to hug me and pictures and whatever. And you make their experience like,

as great as you can make it. Look, I have I always when I started because I do them now and you know when I started doing it I was like this is really transactional I feel stupid I mean I feel like I'm stealing I mean if you ran into me on the streets in you know and a mall wherever you are I'll sign anything for anything anything me too and anything and you know I was like why am I going to ask for money and it's weird it feels like a weird thing and then I got there and then I realized there's a way to transact with somebody that you can affect change in something. somebody's life in less than two minutes. It's unbelievable. Yeah, yeah. You can find that kid that fell in love with SLC punk or, you know, is a scream fan who's, you know, of course, you've got this, you know, you've got a, you know, a gay kid in the Midwest

or you've got this kid who's cutting himself or a drug. You know, there are people out there that you giving them a hug dealing and talking to them and seeing them and asking them how they are, can, that transaction, that human transaction, can change somebody's life in a very quick sort of, you know, in a moment. And I like it. I mean, look, you know, it's also a way that if you're not working, that there is a way to make, you know, to be able to feed your kids. It's a, as our business changes, like, look, as we used to make a lot more money than what

we make now, I mean, people, our industry is now run by people who are trying to make the most money possible and trying to squeeze everything out. And part of that is in our side. I mean, on the acting side, they're going to go pay. number one and number two and number three on the call sheet i'm not usually that guy and so they are going to get you for as little as they possibly can and you know the ability to like sort of feed your kids keep your kids in school get them to college all a lot of that has happened you know in a couple ways my wife went back to work we changed the way we live our life we changed sort of the dynamic of our

house and you know and and and these moments these cons are a big part of like getting through it's been awesome uh you said something just now and it made me think about an interview i watched with you oh my gosh do you research everyone no no i'm very quick here's the deal i just go off the cuff sure you know i don't i don't care about that stuff but i what i like is talking about talking to real people you know you know their insecurities their anxieties or what makes them tick what makes them successful what makes them it's more of like it's kind of therapy for me to be a better person sure in the audience so that's what that's kind of like so the research is kind of like so the research is kind of like it doesn't really matter but i did watch one interview and in an interview i think it said

something like if you you said this tell me if it's wrong okay that if you're number one on a call sheet the movie's probably bad yeah you said that i probably did why would you say that well here's why first of all before you say your answer i look at you and i'm like if matthew lillard's number one on a call sheet i'm doing the movie i think he's a terrific actor right he's got charisma out the ass more than most people right he's he's a great guy's talented as hell i want to to work with him. He looks like fun. You're number one. As an actor, I'm going, great. Who else? Let's do it. Let's read the script now. Here's the reason I said. First of all, I'm making a vow. I've made a vow this year to stop

with the self-deprecation at the same level, at the same level that I do it. But the reality is that somebody investing money in making a movie, you have to spend a lot of money. I mean, you can do, you know, you can do it for nothing. But most movies, you know, you need three million bucks somebody that's going to invest three million dollars is usually going to make an investment in somebody that's going to potentially get them more than their you know money back and in general that's not it hasn't been me look i was in a movie called sLC punk i was number one on the call sheet i was you know super proud of that work i love doing it tyler loves that i love that movie it's a killer little movie and like you know scooby-do i was the highest ranking human on that movie it did pretty

well um wait the highest ranking what human like scuba do is number one oh yeah it was number two you were number one yeah so that was a payday highest ranking human which i like to say a lot yeah but you know but those but those moments are hard i mean like you know those moments are hard to get and the longer i've been around the you know i used to as a kid look i used to chase it so bad i used to want to be that star i wanted to be the guy look if you're playing basketball you're playing hockey you want to be the guy in the last you know you want to have a shot to win the game you want to be you want it to matter i don't want to be number 10 on the call sheet if you like me and you believe in me as an actor and you're like people like working with me then why don't you ever get that

shot you know why don't you get that shot quit hitting the god damn table that i want that shot you're hitting the table i like how active you are but he's like oh oh oh oh uh yes you want that shot. So the reality is that I've been number one on that call sheet. And a lot of times the script when it gets down to me isn't a great script. It's not a great director. It's not a lot of money. And it's, it's bad. You know, it's bad. Like the best script is going to the guys that are going to make you the most money back. Yeah. And the reality is that the script that's number one on the call sheet in general hasn't been a great script. Hasn't been a great opportunity. It's like, you know, I can get every bad movie offer out there for a horror film. It doesn't make it. it us. It doesn't make it, you know, a great horror movie. Do you, all, two things. Yeah. First of all, stupid question, but do you give it all you got no matter what movie it is? Dude, look at my whole career. I am chewing up every scene. I'm doing everything I can to be incredible. I have this idea of, look, I have always gone by and subscribe to the ideas. You have to try to be brilliant. You have to try to be fucking the most amazing actor in the world.

You're going to fall short, make mistakes. But you will. are reaching for brilliance and you can't reach for brilliance by hitting a mark and saying a line. So I have always brought, especially to my movie career, especially when I was younger, this idea of like, fuck, go for it. Do something incredible. Look, I think that I've, I've reached moments in my life that I'm super proud of and I've watched movies where I look back and I'm like, oh my God, what was I thinking? But, you know, I mean, there are moments in my life. I mean, look, I just did this thing in, you know, in New York. I dyed my hair platinum blonde. I'm like, why are you doing that?

I'm like, I mean, the guy's on the run. He's, like, going to change the way he looks. And they're like, well, okay. You know what I mean? You're like, the monster of the week on the show. And I'm like, this is what I want to do. And then there's a scene in the movie in the show. You can't say what it is.

I don't think I can. I mean, yeah, I guess I can. I'm an FBI. So there's a pilot for FBI's Most Wanted. It's on CBS. Right. And there's a scene in the show where he's like losing his mind. He's like, you know, he is.

he's at his wits end and he's you know he's not a good dude and like the director who I loved came up to me on the first day and he's like hey whatever happens in this scene happens it's like super dramatic it was like well what does that mean that break you out well yeah because I know what he means he wants it to be an emotional scene he wants there to be I was telling you to do a brando or no no well he was like but he was like the thing he wanted was to know that you could go, like, that you should go there. Right. And the pressure of that moment's a big deal.

You know, it's big. It's a big. Do you like when the director gives you a note like that? I don't. Because I want you just to give me what you want and my job is to provide you what you need. Right. The idea of like, I don't want to talk about it because then it makes it bigger than an act. He, in the, in trying not to make it a big deal, he actually made it a much bigger deal.

But in this moment, look, there's a three page scene where you're like, okay, I get with the given, my creative emotional instincts, tell. me this kid's at the end of the line and he's losing his mind so on that day like your job is to lose your mind I mean you lost it yeah inside of you is brought to you by rocket money if you want to save money then listen to me because I use this Ryan uses so many people use rocket money it's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions crazy right how cool is that monitors you're spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings and you know what's great it works it really works ryan

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Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show. Ever wonder how dark the world can really get? Well, we dive into the twisted, the terrifying, and the true stories behind some of the world's most chilling crimes. Hi, I'm Ben. And I'm Nicole. Together we host Wicked and Grim, a true crime podcast that unpacks real-life horrors one case at a time.

With deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink to take the edge off, we're here to explore the Wicked and Reveal the Grim. We are Wicked and Grim. Follow and listen on your favorite podcast. platform did you walk away thinking was that too much oh it's i'm always too much i am always too much i but i have no fear in being too much but listen if you wouldn't have been too much like scream nobody would have done i audition for that same role and i remember i go oh my god it's like when i watched that primal fear with ed norton i go i audition i tested for that yeah yeah yeah i was like oh my god

this guy's so much better than me you know and i looked at you and scream and i go oh my god no one they went with this guy i could compete you were so there was moments where there's spit coming out of your mouth there's like such intensity that you're like such in a moment that i'm like is he improvising this whole thing is he is this you feel it felt real yeah yeah but that's a chance you take and if you hit genius on a couple of those yeah and then you don't on the others isn't that okay i mean look i look back on my career and be like yeah if you look at scream now it's hilarious I mean, it's just this chewing of scenery and just

like beyond, like, it's gone beyond sort of normal acting, which in the moment, felt right, the movie, it sort of worked in the movie. I mean, you know, obviously, you know, you stole the movie.

Well, I don't know about that. Dude, Tyler, did you ever see Scream? Yeah, absolutely. I was talking about earlier. That's like one of the most, like, replicated for like years and years after that. It was like two killers. like that it changed it was iconic yeah it definitely look that movie came out of nowhere in that you know

west hadn't done a great movie in a long time you know nobody ever really put two actresses that were on tv i mean Courtney Cox and Neff Campbell were both on TV at the time that crossover was not happening at that point you either movie actor a TV actor you got Henry Winkler Henry Winkler comes back as the Fonds it kind of came out of nowhere and it was released on Christmas Day and you're like what is this thing and I'll never forget the opening weekend we didn't do great numbers and this was before the internet so you were like you sort of had a call in and your agent would tell you the numbers you had for the opening weekend and it wasn't great but well we got hackers don't worry about it yeah well west

craven called and said congratulations you're in a big hit and I was like well he didn't have great numbers and he said the exit polls were like nothing they had ever seen before so they knew even that opening weekend that the exit polls were like off the charts and it's sort of you know next thing you know seven eight weeks later you had a hundred million dollar party and it's like well this is crazy this movie kind of came out of nowhere were you getting a lot of offers at that time no dude i've never got a lot of offers even then they gave everyone's like a scream change your life it didn't it didn't get skeed all rich get this guy yes so he went on to do like three big movies after that nev did great i mean Courtney obviously was going back to make a million dollars an episode and

And, you know, and everyone else in the movie went on to make the sequel. And I was dead. So I was like, you know what? In a way, I mean, like, even when I did Smallville, it was a huge success, but Tom was getting offers to do movies. I wasn't. I wasn't really getting offers. I was like the bald, weird guy. And I was like, huh, I thought they liked me.

I thought I'm doing a good job here. But why am I not getting offers? Well, you're not six foot five and fucking gorgeous. That's why. And I tell. Son of a bitch. son of a bitch but uh you know it is that thing but doesn't that drive you i mean that for a long time in my life in my career that drove me crazy oh yeah it drove me crazy that freddie who i love

was off making movie after movie after movie after movie and paying gazillions of dollars and i was fighting for like you know for scraps and i'm like dude what do i have to do like where do i get the win and i always like for me as a kid i was like chasing that desperately to be that number one to be that movie star and it wasn't until i've been doing it now for 30 years and 29 years or something 28 years and i just think that it becomes way more about journey way more about tribe way more about fellowship being surrounded by people that you love and doing the things you like rather than chasing a call sheet number yeah not only that because i felt the same way i mean i'm i'm still working on i mean we're always working on ourselves but

for so long I just was like you know I want to be this guy I want to be this star I want to be I want to be you got people are like what are you doing now you want to be like oh I'm doing this and I'm doing this you know and then all of a sudden you got I'm so exhausted of always trying to be perfect and great and being something that you know I that I want people it's you want to get acceptance you want to get there's all this there's a lot of psychology to it right but there comes a time when you just got to go because it's it killed me I think it like ultimately was killing. me like just exhausting where the point where I was just like so tired all the time because I was just always on always trying to be and I've worked on myself religiously but I don't know I think it's I think it's tough because especially you seem like a perfectionist at least you were no not at all were you not hard on yourself no in fact I love watching my I'm like I don't you're not hard on yourself no not at all you don't get like in your head you don't get nervous you don't get anxiety you don't get no I mean I get anxiety sure and I do get nervous and I do get nervous but I don't know how you came up but I was a kid that had nothing in high school I wasn't

great at sports I mean I played sports but I wasn't great at them and I we talked about I struggled in school and then when I found acting I found the one thing that I loved so for me I've always loved what I do like I if I wasn't acting in a movie I'd be doing manna la Mancha in Pekoyma I mean I would be doing something in the arts in I mean teach me at some point you know at some point in my life I was like I wasn't working and I was in this big house and you know I had made a lot of money and then I was transitioning from being a young actor to a man and it was you know it was not it was a good long stretch there where I was like oh I could I could be the guy that never comes back I'd be be Judd Nelson I could be you know all these kids that we grew up with that never transitioned

to being a man and it's hard like Jake Ryan and 16 candles where's Jake I mean And, you know, that kid was on fire and I think he's actually, he's a carpenter out in Utah or something. But we know that. That's so funny. Yeah. But yeah, but he was like, I'm out. Because he was so awesome. Yeah, he was amazing.

He was gorgeous. But the idea of, like, being that guy and not getting a chance to come back and not doing what you want to do would have been really hard. So I was like, what do I do? Do I go and change jobs and become a carpenter and leave? Or do I double down and stay and chasing a dream? And so I would, like, we sold our house. We sold our cars.

We sort of changed the way we lived. of our life. My wife went back to work. And I started teaching acting because I was like, well, worst case scenario, I'll just teach the rest of my life. Where did you teach? I teach a Vancouver film school. So I go up there a couple times a year. I teach in LA. I'll fly back to New York to teach. I mean, I was like, oh, this is what I'll do instead of like becoming a carpenter. I'm just going to keep doing what I love. And that sort of restructuring of what's important. It's not about chasing you know the number one it's not about that that manic thing it's about sort of the journey you know that that sort of changed the way i walk through this career yeah that's amazing because

you know similarly say that fast similarly similarly similarly i do not i have a mushy mouth yeah similarly yeah bastard god damn punk with a quick brain quick mind and curly beautiful hair similarly I found acting like you and that I was like oh my god I not being me is great that was the difference that wasn't that I love I did love it but I was so scared of it and I think I never lost that fear it still scares me I get when I you know have to read for something or I get I get something every day is like at the same day it's a groundhogs day where I'm so hard on myself because I want to be great I want to be perfect it's different yeah but that is that's what kills you I mean that's what kills yeah that's too much chase of the There is no perfection. There is just the moment you're in. There is no way there is nothing. You can't do that. How do you stop it?

How do you just wake up in the morning and not have anxiety besides Zoloft? Look, it's practice. It's fellowship. It's training. It's understanding that no matter what you do in that room, it doesn't define who you are, that you're collecting hours to get to the end of your life. I mean, literally the minute you let go of perfection being accepted. needing that acceptance, the minute you let go of all that stuff, you're in the room and that's

what people want. It's like, I always say to the student, the kids I teach, I'm like, look, if a guy's at a bar and he comes up to you or, you know, a man or a woman and you can sense their desperation for you to want them, you can sense their desperation of like connecting or hooking up, like that is repulsive. And it's not, it's, it's visceral. It's animalistic. You can feel somebody who's desperate that need to be seen. It's the person that is in their own skin that is alive and you're like, oh, that's the person. That's the charisma. That's the thing I want. And it's the same thing with acting. The more you let go, the more you're like, hey, I'm here for this moment. Let's just do this thing. To be in the moment. That's true. I always notice when I'm

like, I have nerves and then I go in and I do something. There's something in my brain that goes, all right being nervous is not working for you no yeah it's you got to change and i somehow can change it a lot of times right just boom i hit like even if i start out where i go you know i fuck this in my head and i get and then i get right into it right and sometimes that helps but it's hard it's hard and especially when you you know look when you're not working you have kids to feed and you want that job you need a job it's not you know there's this thing going around right called the dignity of work, right? And I think that the sense that working helps define you as a person and it gives you a purpose in life. And the fact that as actors, the reason they are so

self-destructive, the reason that they end up lost on this journey is because you're supposed to be said, I mean, there's a thing yesterday coming out that somebody in reality TV is now taking their own life again and that there's this movement to take care of people that have been on reality TV because there's this, there's pension for taking their own lives, because you're now, you're somebody, and now that's all removed, and now you're walking through life and you don't know who you are, and you don't have a job, and you don't have a purpose, that is the stuff that kills actors and artists and reality contestants. I mean, this idea that there's dignity and work is an important thing for an artist. And the more you find other avenues to work,

the more you feel like you have a purpose. We're going deep. Is it always this deep here on inside of us? Is it always? No, I mean, that's how I want it. I like this. I'm learning. I'm learning from you. I'm learning from you are a teacher.

I am. I love teaching. I love teaching. You're really good because I'm like, I forget that I'm even interviewing you right now. That's good. I really am thinking, oh my God, all these things I want to do now and like how I'm going to approach things. And I've just been taking a day at a time and I'm trying to find like I'm 46 years

old. And I'm still working on purpose. Like this show gave me a little purpose. It's good. It's bizarre because my friends are, you know, you're an actor you're and i'm like yeah but i i don't know it's something about this that i find out more about me i find out more like it's a moment where with everybody on their phones i'm sitting here with you and i'm having a conversation and i'm not thinking of anything else other than you

you're 20 minutes late no no i don't care and it's just like you know you i don't know it's this interaction that i really like and then i noticed that people really love it like the guy walking past the car when you were pulling in uh-huh he goes dude i'm listening to your john cry or interview right now oh that's funny i'm like oh my god it's that means a lot and it's cool and it's like you know people are affected by that so whatever look i go back to i hear what you're saying i think that that goes back to purpose that goes back to what am i doing right i'm a successful actor i've been on these successful shows but what am i doing with my life that's right that's right you know the thing that people don't understand you know i once in class um i took out my my book for the

I took out my iPhone and I was like, hey, I want to go over my last year's calendar. And I'm doing this right now in front of the whole class. I got a whiteboard. And I'm like, I'm just going to, I've gone through and I'm searching for all my appointments and I'm going to put together my most incredible year I've ever had. I was in the descendants. So I was on like press tours and I was with George Clooney and, you know, we had done opening movies.

And like on an Academy Award tour, you are going to events and you're like doing this whole thing. I'd done two independent movies and a play in Los Angeles this was my year like I had an incredible year and I was like and I was in class so I was like

I was kicking ass as a artist yeah so I'm like I'm gonna go through and I'm gonna count up my hours I'm gonna just we're gonna round things off I'm gonna my here's my auditions here's my pilot season I'm gonna go through

and we're gonna go all of it's gonna be counted and we'll round up so I started going through and I started collecting these hours And if I broken out, it had turned out, it was like, an hour thing. I was like, this is my audition. This is what happened.

Like, I kind of walked my kids through like what my audition was like if I remembered it or what it was like to do and, you know, all these things. And at the end of it, if I calculated an eight hour day, five days a week, I worked like four and a half months over the course of the year. And I literally said, I will never in my life have a year like this as an actor ever, ever again it won't happen because the amount of work was overwhelming like this is as good as it gets and if i could lay out right now that this is the best year of my life it's probably a great year for you but in four and a half months that's not what kills an actor this isn't what leads you astray this is the

best part of your year it's the rest of the year that ends up destroying your humanity because you're like what are you doing what are you doing the entire month of november or December yes okay i know i should go to the gym yes i can learn another language but that's where you get lost and that's what ends up being really hard and i think that's with everybody yeah i just talk about actors you're talking about you know people who have real jobs you have to say acting is on a real job it is for sure not i mean not or not making play we're making pretend but like for all my friends in indiana or friends in new york have like wake up in nine to five jobs if you're just working and you're not doing anything for yourself or you're not doing anything for yourself or you're not

that gives you more purpose, I think you could still fall into that category, because I think it's humanity in general. Yes, you have to have something. Like, if you were on that grind, and look, my whole family is in Michigan, and they're on the grind. I mean, they are Detroit, blue collar trying to make ends meet. And, you know, it's that thing. You have to have something in your life that gives you fellowship. You have to be surrounded by people that you love. And that's family. And that's, you know, for a lot of people, that's church. For me, it was always the theater. I mean, I do play readings in my living room every two weeks to get people together to talk about journey, to talk about where people are at, to talk about. So it's like AA for

actors without the alcohol and drugs. Yeah. I mean, we'll get cheap wine and cheap food and you sit around and cold re to play. And you're like, I'm not a dad. I'm not a husband in this moment. I'm an actor surrounded by people that I like to be around. And what kind of people come to your house? It's everyone. I mean, I've invited random, I mean, a waitress. I, at a restaurant, but hey, you came over and read? Oh, yeah, yeah. So you'll come over and you're like, look, we have like, you know, it's ebbs and flows. So if I'm working, it does, it's not happening. But if it's, if I'm not working, and I need that thing to, you know, sort of like connect to the next get the juices for me.

Yeah. Who's the biggest actor you had over there? I don't really have a lot of big actors. You have no big actor friends? I don't have. It's funny because I, you know, in the back of my mind, I want to do, I really want to do a podcast. Um, and the, Well, why don't you steal my editor and my fucking producer? They're already busy. They're already busy. I'm game, man. I work one day a week right now.

Oh, yeah. I'm available. Well, he's going to be my editor for the other podcasts we're doing. Don't mention that. You're doing two. I'm doing another one, yeah. Nice. Me and a buddy.

I can't tell the buddy's name because we're going to do an announcement. But I, guy, you guys are listening. It's Brando. We're going to be doing another one coming soon. It's in the works. Yeah. Go ahead. I don't know.

So, I mean, but the part of it that I can't do is the part that you, you hunting me down you did a great job of like I wanted to do it but I was like I'm flaky and I don't you know the idea of sitting here and talking about myself for an hour is like oh my god who wants that but you but that's exactly what we're not doing we're sort of talking about life and and things so it's a little different but it is different but you're still like look the idea that I'm now thinking about oh I just told everyone in America the hardest part of my life is not working for six months six and a half months is like oh you're such an asshole you know what I mean that's that's so why I know. It's filling your time and doing something purposeful.

That's why is that way. That didn't come across that way to me. Well, because it does. I mean, look, I like talking about life. I like talking about these things. But the hardest part for me is like, can you get people to sit across from you? Is it interesting for other people to do? And at the end of the day, like, who am I going to get? I have like 10 friends in this. I mean, I'm friendly with everyone. I mean, that's the weird thing I think about my life. And maybe you have a different experience. I moved to Pasadena. I had kids and a wife. Like, I am not. not part of the Hollywood sinning. I'm not in this world. My Rolodex has like, you know, 10 people on it that I love. I mean,

I love everyone I've ever worked with. There's like three people. Well, there's three people in my life I would talk shit about, but I would never do it personally. I would never do it publicly. Yeah, and there's three people that if you are working with that person and I know about it,

I'll be like, hey, just FYI, that person's a jerk. Does it rhyme with Fev FAMBLE? No, never. Is she the nicest ever? She's the nicest ever. F.

Camwell, but the. You know, the idea of trying to bring Now the whole podcast is like, no, no, I'm not going to ask you. I'm not going to get you personal. But no, but the idea of like trying to get people in to sit down is hard. I think that would be tough. Let me say this.

The people, the core people that I usually hang out with are not celebrities. For the most part, I don't hang out with celebrities. Dax has a family. He's very busy. So we try to see each other. We text here and there. I love them. So I have friendships that were like,

you text. How are you? What's going on? oh let's get lunch or something sometimes but the core of my friends are i have like a little band right sure i have my friend tom i've known 35 years my friend can't 20 years but it's the same people how do you know them i grew up with tom in newburgh indiana he lived down the street he was popular i wasn't he wanted to be my roommate in college you ever had him on the show no he'd be really nervous so what maybe i should and see if it comes that turns out right it kind of be

fun my friend rob who works for uh marketing for homeless uh for homeless people and um you know he's my lead guitarist i hang out with just a bunch of guys who have real jobs and like you know and by the way i feel like i'm more grounded when i'm around them and they keep me grounded sure i think if you start hanging out with just celebrities and you're all around that it's just like there's not a lot of what's the word depth it's not even in my lexicon yeah i don't know you know i mean i have famous friends but that's who's your most famous friend my most famous friend most famous friend like how do you define friend uh somebody that you can call you can text and go hey do you want to grab lunch and they're like hell yeah let's do it like hang out i don't have that i mean i get seth green and dax

i mean i can say hey let's get together yeah those guys are phenomenal set green and dacks right but then like you know i mean i've done i mean george cluny if i'm not i'm not no you have his number yeah i have his number you have his number you have cluny's number yeah and you never thought of like saying hey man i've been talking to you email for sure so you ever email No, God, I would never do that. Clude dog. It's been a while. I haven't seen you to the, no, I haven't seen you since the descendants, be it.

Oh my God, no. I would never do that. He would probably love it. He would not. That's Matt Liller, we would love that guy. He would not. Why would he not like it? Because he's like, he's in, he's someplace famous and glorious and he's, I just, I just,

I hear some real down-to-earth guy named Matt Lillard who lives in Pasadena. And he's like, dude, fuck yeah. I'm tired of hanging out with Tarantino and all these. fucking rich, pompous-ass-ass-ass people. And I want to hang out with Lillard. Let's kick it. Let's play Dungeons and Dragons. I want to go to the Olive Garden, Pasadena.

And I want to fucking just chill out with Lillard and his family. Red-stick bitches! Right? Let's lock down all of the garden. Dude, it's the same reason. I mean, I just would never, I would never, it's just not my life. Because I do think it goes back to who are you. My life is like, I'm the fat kid.

That idea, like social anxiety, my kids, both, my kids go through some social anxiety stuff. And for a long time, I'm like, what are you talking about? You're super personable. You're charming as shit. Like, and then I was like, oh, wait, I have social anxiety. Me at a Hollywood party is like, get me out of here. Me at like a country club party. I'm like, oh, my God, my skin is crawling. You put me with a bunch of artists. You put me with a bunch of actors. Like, I couldn't be happier. But when you put me outside of my element, oh, I just, I can't, I can't do it. makes me out you know what i understand that because i have the same way i always feel like i don't feel i always feel i don't you do you think that's everyone i think that's i think that every no no no i make

it clear i'm uncomfortable i say this i like i just like look i i i feel like i have to be funny i have to be on or they're not going to accept me right and i'm boring and i don't like that's why it's like i had so many arguments with like my representation my manager my agent who were like do go to this go to the golden globes i'm like no i don't have a movie or a tv show why would i do go to this party it's gonna be a lot it's important and no it's not i can't do that i don't have so i fought them forever i'm somebody who you know i do podcast i do in you know social media for the podcast and i make funny videos and stupid shit but like i don't i don't do the hollywood thing really right like you said when you walked in you're like oh my god why do you have a

Napoleon Dynamite poster? Why do you have a jerk poster? Why do you have all autographed? I'm like, you know, because as a kid, that's all I did. I had movies. That's all I had was I watched movies. That was my life. And so now I'm still that kid in high school when I sees West Craven or when he sees, you know, not anymore. I like that. I'm like, oh my God, this is so exciting. I want to get your autograph. I mean, I don't say it right then. I'm very, I'm very cool about it. Like Stallone and I worked with him two weeks. We were at the last day and I go, you know, sly. You know, we were cool at that point. You called me Pippi Longstock. because I had all these dots on my face from the CGI or whatever.

So he said, I go, here, Pippie, what are you doing? I'm like, hey, you saw my Rambo lunchbox? He goes, you got a Rambo lunchbox? What are you got? Like, how old are you? You're 46 years old. You got a Ramble lunchbox. And he signed it and had a thermos in it.

He couldn't believe it. But then, did you have it before? Or did you know you were a regular lunchbox? No, I had it. You found it eBay. No, I swear I had the Ramble Lunchbox. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to have the Rambo lunchbox. Was that on Guardians?

That was in Guardians. James Gunn, maybe the most famous friend. Now, do you ever think, we can talk about this because James won't listen to this and he's one of my best friends as well. Do you think you ever are like,

dude, I killed it for him in Scooby-Doo. Why doesn't he put me in Guardians? No. I killed it for him in Scoob. I mean, look, I tried out. I audition for Guardians. I did too. I tested for the,

for Pratserl and he was brilliant. I'm just saying, do you ever. I didn't test for that. I went to, I did. taser face. Oh, you're the greatest taster. Oh, my God.

Yeah, and I was like... My buddy Chris Sullivan was, yeah. Yeah, and I was like, and I saw him the night, that same night, he had a party, the same day I auditioned. And he came up to me, he was like, oh, my God, you were good. Thank God. So it was good. So I was in the running, but I didn't get the job.

All right. So, yeah, he loves you. I mean, I love him. I love him. Yeah, that's the whole thing with that stuff. But I want, but I, look, there's no doubt. Like, somebody asked me on Twitter recently, what is the, you know, what role do you want? And I was like, whatever movie.

James Gunn's doing. And that's the guys, yeah, because I, I, I, because I, I love him. I don't know. I do too. And some people will go, dude, he's doing guardians. Why don't you ask him for, you don't ask, he's my, he's one of my best friends. If he wants to put me in something, he'll think of me. He knows, he knows, he wants his job. Yeah, yeah. You know, and I was, I was eternally grateful for doing guardians. But that's, but that's, but that's the thing is you go back to, and you were in it. I wasn't in it. The idea of going back to, like, it's hard. I mean, you want to be number one on the call sheet. You want that job. And it's like,

even your good friend you're not working for I mean that's the thing that's crazy to me I mean I look at the producers this could we do I'm like you guys have made like you know Richard Suckle and Chuck Rubin you guys have made a lot of really big movies

there's not a part you don't there's no way I know nothing that I can can I bring can I come in an audition like can I at least fight for the job dude I listen the reality is I look we've all worked I remember I did urban legend right after screaming it was you know

people call it scream rip off but you know i enjoyed it i loved it i thought it was a fun movie and all those huge producers neil moritz sir he came up to me one day and goes you're the next tom hanks of course i knew i was not the next tom hanks nobody could be the next tom hanks but i loved it i was young eager i was like fuck yeah never heard from this guy but he does all these big giant movies that make billions of dollars he couldn't have said hey rosenbaum he coming and give ten lines and one scene and crush it right not one call I can tell you this about so much.

The one guy that does it, James Gunn, put me in a movie, and my buddy, Dax Shepard. Dax Shepard, every movie he's made, he's done, Rosie, I got a roll for you. Rosie, I got this for you. It's like, when you think of working with your friends as the best time, how many times do I hear? Hey, you're good friends with Jason Reitman, aren't you? I'm like, I am. I love Jason. Why hasn't he put you anything?

I'm like, maybe I'm not right for the 500 rolls. For every other role. Maybe I'm not good. No, he auditioned me for something in a, um, a podcast. in the air and I was not good I was not good in the audition I didn't take it seriously I don't I just kind of winged it I don't I sometimes you know I don't is that self-destructive it is I don't want to put here's the thing I don't want to put so much although I'm doing it right now you sometimes you put so much work into something then you when you don't get it it's like fuck I just felt like I just

worked for two weeks for something that I didn't even get you know best you know at least you but that but I go back to I know I know okay no go ahead say no but the idea is that it's two weeks at least you're working on something that's two weeks of purpose oh you're calling that work okay it is work that's what I'm saying like that you're collecting hours our job

is to collect hours right if you believe in 10,000 hours you're like oh dude I'm just collecting hours Lillard yeah the light just went off I now understand exactly what you're fucking talking about yeah you're saying that that two weeks of me busting my ass is fulfilling

it's like I just who cares about result dude give me a hot do you hear this Tyler this is really good advice this is like Tyler when you leave here and you're like oh I got to edit that shitty podcast

what are you going to do with the rest of the day go the coffee bean why don't you go fucking party somewhere I mean do something with your life you bastard I think it's a universal thing

for like millennials right now to put so much steak in work and to put so much worth and how much you work. You know, there was a time where I was working like one or two days a week and I was like, how do I get that to five? How do I, why?

Well, I mean, it's super hard. And I do think that there's a lot of people out there who are doing work with the express purpose of a result that is going to further them. Right. And my argument is that if you're living the life of a craftsman, that it's actually just doing the work is the point. That it's not the shoe that you turn out

that's important. it's the lifetime of shoes and so you know if you're i have to have a better work ethic i think well i don't know i don't i don't know about i don't know you're here doing this i mean this is a work ethic i really by the way worked hard i'm going on this audition first time in a while that i was something i really liked and i've put some time into it that's good i have put some time into it because i think it's really good and i think that's another thing if you're like excited about something because you think it has potential and it's good but like for me sometimes when i'm like i get sort of what's the word i don't know i don't know if it's boring

or just lack of interest apathetic but I'm like oh it's another one of these they want me to play this guy the same guy that I have done before or they want me to do this or not interested there's this one with a huge director huge writer Oscar award winner that they wanted me to read for and I didn't say no because I think the guy is brilliant I think the whole thing's brilliant it's just not what I want to do I don't want to just say oh I'm working with an academy me award winner or I'm working with that's not I mean I do sure but I don't want to do something because it's everyone's perception of me of if I do it they'll go oh he's working with I just didn't particularly like what it was I just didn't like it yeah what the question isn't what you don't what

do you I like Tyler I like um I mean that's the thing is like I like so I'm saying is that finding something that turns you on and chase that's what it is when that's about millennials like you have to find what turns you on and just chase it and it's going to end up where it's going to end up yeah but it's that it's that hunt that is yeah super rewarding a life this is rewarding to me i after an hour i go wow i really like lillard god he was so full of life so many great stories to tell i haven't told any stories have i oh yeah you haven't really told all you really didn't talk about like all the stuff that people always ask you about yeah we really didn't did we are we done i don't want i'm not done i don't i don't say we're done i'm just saying like for instance okay

you have three children so many kids are you emotional are you do you do you show your emotions like my dad never cried my dad never told me you love me my dad poor me i'm not saying that i'm just saying my dad was one of those tough guys mowed the lawn with without a grass catcher rocks and dog shit are flying in his face he didn't care and uh have you said if you told that story is that something is that how you describe your dad often no that was the first time i ever said that that is an amazing i wrote you know i wrote a pilot that I sold to Fox years ago and that was the description of my father.

That's the last time. So are you, so you, have you taken that stoic nature in your life? I mean, yeah, I think that I'm,

I'm, look, I'm not gonna blow smoke up my ass because I have a lot of fucking insecurities and weaknesses, but I definitely am a giving, loving, there for you when you need me.

Person as, and I'm also a very, steal the spotlight, kind of fucking center of attention and it can be annoying as shit, can be all those things but I know that I'm actually have a really big heart and I'm always available so are you an only child no I'm kind of the middle kid my mom had two kids and divorced then married my dad when he was 18 had me so the middle of them my brother then my dad they got

divorced and he had two more kids but it's kind of all over the place but they don't talk but anyway so are you emotional with the kids do you see anything and you cry and your kids see you cry ever is that why you're not in a long-term partnership why do you think because your dad I mean the the modeling of partnership that your dad had and sort of its result on you. I mean, you can't. Like, if you're a this caring person and you have this sense of depth. Oh, I guess you're saying.

Yeah. Yeah. It's odd to me that you're not in a partnership. I mean, not that I'm judging it. I'm just curious. I mean, at some point, at 46, you said it to 46? Yeah, I'll be 47. So the idea of like, why am I not in a partnership?

It must be a question in your life somewhere, right? I want to be in a partnership. Yeah. So what is it? I don't know. I think I'm very picky. I think if I see any similarities with any woman with my mother, I run as far as I can. If I see anything where it resembles any kind of, I don't want to be, you know, I'm not

judgmental. I just know what's not right for me. I'm a, you know, I have a lot of energy kind of guy. I get sometimes a little moody. I'm usually funny. I'm always a good time. It's fun. But I'm very self-depican.

And I'm very open about everything. You know, I need someone who's not. as the energy i am i'm sure your wife is probably keeps you like she's oh we are diametrically opposed exactly and that's what i think i need so you know i'm going on a date tonight actually that's good are you do you know her uh yeah i met her on a dating site and so what i do is i have these things where when i go out i um i have a lunch if we're taking a chance at like meeting for the first time let's have lunch let's have a snack because you might not like me and you can go home in an hour because it's lunch if i commit to a dinner with you this could be a nightmare let's not set up a nightmare we

haven't met unless you want to facetime for a few times do something to get to like see each other so uh that that's sort of my ammo i'm like i think it's better than like going on tons of dates it's like hey i don't even consider a date it's like hey we're too friendly people seeing if we want to have a date later and when you sit down is there pressure to be on no no i'm but you're on but you just said that I'm on a lot that has to be I'm on the sense of pressure I'm naturally on right I'm not trying I'm just kind of like you know

I'll pretty much say everything I'm not trying to impress them as much as I am trying to just like dissuade them no that's not true I'm trying to show you all the bad stuff in less than lunch I shit with the door open sometimes I don't want to miss anything here's where I am broken

I'm broken in a lot of places but I need you know but there's one girl she was you know look it's woman this woman this woman they say girl I didn't mean that is that condescending no is that politically correct I didn't mean 45 46 yeah maybe I don't know maybe best look I'm trying I mean maybe I don't want to be alone

but I don't want to get married because I don't want to be alone no I want to fall in love I've been in relationships but I just I don't like waking like I have two great dogs you met them you wrestle with them on the floor I love them and I love them I have a great assistant it's like a marriage but we're not attracted to each other we're just it's it's business and she's cool and you know it's nice to have so much comes over every day and we're you know and i have friends i have a good life i have a good you know decent family so what i mean unless it's just something that go i go wow i'm not going to like

just get married to get married i love to have a kid god no god you got lucky yeah super lucky is that the one you met in europe or is that no yeah she is you met well you didn't meet her in europe you brought her as a friend uh no i met her i met her at a party Heather Heather and she said that they were going to Italy for this wedding and whatever happened in Italy stayed in Italy and I'm like oh I'm gonna get my ass to Italy

So you guys slept together in Italy? No we didn't You hooked up no we made out we made out we make out That was nice yeah by the time I left Italy I was like I'm gonna marry that woman Did you ever think 20 years or 19 years later that you'd dye your hair blonde And then she wouldn't look at you? She wouldn't care She does not care even a little Are you guys still really in love?

yeah there's no doubt i can't imagine my life without her we're symbiotic yeah um but it's not like it's very different than your first lunch you know what i mean you're like oh yeah you're you're battling you're co-inhabiting to raise kids you have you know that you're on a journey together so it's it's it's we're at the i mean we're at the point i mean i was at the point early on in my life i'm like oh i'm never leaving i i i i it doesn't even cross my mind you're like you're just on a journey together we have like awesome you know you ebb and flow i mean you you have these moments where you're on fire and you go away for a weekend you're like oh my god there's my wife and do you have those moments where you miss her and you're like oh my god i miss my wife

yeah i mean because i'm i leave a lot and i miss my kid you know you miss the i mean i'm a i'm a i'm a day i'm a i'm the guy that takes the kids to school i pick them up i go to soccer practice i manage a soccer team for my kid taking the olive garden yeah i never got olive garden That's not my thing I'm not a gardener You're a good dad You sound like a good dad I think I'm a good dad

I think I'm a good dad I'm trying my damnedest To be a great dad I mean it's the same thing With being an actor I want to be a brilliant dad You want to be good at everything you do For things I care about

I want to strive to be incredible For the things that I That I hold value in I want to be amazing at But there's all kinds of things I fall short on And I make all kinds of mistakes And I'm not brilliant

at nearly anything you want to be 85 years old and still acting a hundred percent i want to die an artist see i i really commend you for that because i look at like even dax is like i just love acting i don't care what it is i go well i do i care kind of what it is yeah yeah i care what it is i mean i've done a lot of bad stuff you know um he cares what it is he's turned down things that are bad no i'm just saying that he's like he just loves to work i think he does which was a great thing and I love to work but he makes it sound like it's just so fun all the time to me 14 16 hours a day doing the same fucking thing isn't that fun yeah it's just not look i do think that you look at the shape of his career he never had to go to vancouver and work those 16 hour days yeah smallville is a

i'm assuming because i do know that world i've seen that world intimately that when you're on that 14, 16, 17, 17, an hour grind, that it changes the way you look at it. It is as bad as any nine to five job twice a day. I mean, you know, you're there for a long periods of time. Yeah, and it's, for me, I think I just went in a hibernation after. I was just kind of like, you know, I just, well, I guess not. I actually went off and did my movie and I just, I felt like I never really recovered. You know, you need that decompression, that downtime or whatever after you do projects. Don't you feel like you work on something? You feel like you just need to, or do you ready for the next one well i've always look i've never had that grind

dax never had that grind i've never been on that procedural i mean i look at procedures i'm like oh i can't i don't know how you do it it's so hard it's so long they're long days and they're not a lot of reward in the work so but being guest star is the hard that's the hardest thing to come in and you yeah but you could yes for sure it's a weird thing you don't know anyone it's like every you're at somebody's thanksgiving it's like i don't gonna try to do the best i can to like hang in here yeah um but that's like i can jump into that world because I know I'm jumping out you know but like my jobs I've had on TV I've been like I'm on good girls now I've worked you know three days a week where's good girls

NBC NBC it's it's awesome I have a great job I have a great job what number are you on the call sheet uh four oh you like that don't yeah no when four is if I think I'm four yeah I love I work with Christina Hendricks all the time she's a she's great I met her amazing she is so Awesome. So sweet. And like our showrunners are great and we're doing a show that's like outside the box. It's awesome. See? Yeah, it's good. Life's good. Life is good. It is good. You seem like a genuinely half. You don't get depression, bounce of depression. I do. But I, but I, but here's the thing. My life is super active. The idea of like, you know, the dignity of work. Like the idea, like I'm not like for a long time, I would wait. For a long time, I would call my manager, my agent. I'd be like, hey, I need a job. I need a job. And I was defined by what I was doing. I just started dungeon. and Dragons company with my five best friends. I, like, do this thing with kids at five acres where we create the slam poetry one night. There's a thing called Hatch where, you know, people out there are trying to save the world and that community is a community I'm involved in.

Jeez, you teach in Vancouver. I teach all the time. I mean, I literally will pull into a city. I'll be like, I'm here. Can I teach? I mean, I was in New York. How do you have a time and you have a family and a wife? Yeah, but like, but you have to, like, I go back to, like, what are you doing during the day?

The idea is, like, you have time. Like, I'm really good at FIFA. I'm really good at Xbox FIFA. I love FIFA. So you take time every week to play a little games? Yes, but I go through those periods. Like, I will go and I will take a team from, you know, the whole season. I'll play a whole season of FIFA soccer in a week.

But then I'm like, I got to go back and I got to, no, I have to be active. I have got to do stuff outside of this job, outside of this business. If you weren't busy, you'd go crazy. I feel like I have more going on than most people because I like, I like, I like, I like doing things. I like being around people. And I like going, we should go that way. We have a company called Hive Be Good and we throw events where people come together to, you know, to group think how to change the world. I mean, it's, you know, that's kind of stuff. You're like, now you're sitting with like leaders in their community trying to fix homelessness or

or affordable housing or how to get gang members back into the world and give them dignity. I mean, these are things. You're like, oh, these moments are bigger than, than, than, me so it makes like the idea like going on chasing a job okay i got that because i'm doing all these things this is no longer as important as because you've got all these other things going on jesus i feel like such a loser i mean you have a podcast and you said you're planning on starting another like like you said you love doing this you love talking to him and talking to yeah but also i'm like you know maybe sometimes it's like you know i'm doing so much but i feel like i'm doing things like I'm doing this podcast for me I'm doing all these not just for me yeah but I'm glad

I tracked you down well I'm glad yeah I am because I was pretty persistent and I just you know it's good I wanted to do it I just no I know you get you listen I it's obvious how much shit you got going on but you know I met you on without a paddle you through decks you know before that I knew you somehow before that I knew you your friend we was Seth green could have been south yeah there's people in this career and this life, you're like, I've known you forever. We've been friendly forever, but I don't know how we ever became friends at first. We never worked together. Yeah. You have so much, like, insight. Like, I want you to be my therapist. I'm not good. I'm not good at that. Why? You do so many things. Is that his podcast? Every week you guys get

together. It's a therapy session. It's just a therapy session for me. Just Rosemamba learns therapy sessions every week. As we dig in. Oh, man. Well, what a treat. Thanks, thanks for coming over. Cheers, ma'am. All right. Hi, I'm Joe Saul-Chi, host of the stacking Benjamins podcast. Today, we're going to talk about what if you came across $50,000. What would you do? Put it into a tax-advantaged retirement account. The mortgage.

That's what we do. Make a down payment on a home. Something nice. Buying a vehicle. A separate bucket for this addition that we're at. thousand dollars i'll buy a new podcast you'll buy new friends and we're done thanks for playing everybody we're out of here stacking benjamins follow and listen on your favorite platform