Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Oliver Hudson

Episode Date: August 4, 2020

Oliver Hudson (Rules of Engagement, Splitting Up Together) joins me this week and opens up about his bouts with debilitating anxiety coming up in this industry and his experience with antidepressants along the way. Oliver talks about the pressure he faced to become a successful actor growing up around Goldie Hawn (mother), Kurt Russell (pa), and Kate Hudson (sister). We also talk about the importance of self care, some onset “blow up” moments, and Oliver’s cathartic reconnection with his estranged father. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort of your own devices. Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Gambling problem call Connects Ontario 1866531-260. 19 and over, physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggett Casino.com for details. Please play responsibly. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Hi, Ryan. Hi, Michael. Yeah, I'm a guitar here real quick.

I was thinking of, I was trying to figure out how to play the theme song. It's been so long. So I was like, it's my point of view. Come on. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Oh, yeah. Kind of like that new one. Maybe we should record that.

Me and Ryan's singing it. Singing the theme song. Yeah. People would be upset. I'm always weirded out by it because you learned a guitar differently. So I'm always like, what the hell of court is that? But you just learn backwards. Well, it makes sense because I am kind of backwards.

If you meet me or obviously you've been listening, I'm a little backwards. I play upside down guitar. It's how I learned. I do kind of everything ass backwards, probably life in general. But, you know, it's funny about that song. You know, some people are like, man, that song. I don't like that song. And then other people are like, you know, some fans or listeners, they play the song and they, it's kind of a staple, I guess. I don't know. Do we keep it? Do we do a new song? What do you guys think? You could write in so get rid of that shit or whatever. Good. I like that you're wearing the inside of you mask. I don't tell you still. Do you like it? Do you like it? Do you like it's comfortable? You can be honest.

Oh, that's nice. I mean, I'd rather not wear a mask, but this is the world we live in. It is. But, I mean, as far as masks go, it's great. Great. I like hearing that. Merch. Yeah, merch.

It's all in the merch store. And new mugs. I just said to order new mugs, the one sold out. So I said, hey, I'll autograph the mug, blah, blah, blah. So those sold out. So, you know, we ordered more, and there's a bunch of new stuff on the inside of you store. But, dude, did you feel the earthquake? Fucking yes.

What happened? What did you do when you, so wherever you are on the coast? If you're not in L.A. or the area that I'm in, you didn't experience this. But if you did, I have had, like, experiences with earthquakes. I remember one in 99 or 2001, maybe. Whenever it was in California, my friend Dave was crashed and I was running a little place in Studio City. And I remember when it really rattled and he just always tells the story, all he heard

was there's nothing silence after. And I got, then he hears, Dave. He's like, yeah, dude. And I'm like, what do we do? I don't know, dude. So we got under the door frame. I think that's kind of what you're supposed to do, maybe. Yeah, because I lived here during the 94-1,

North region. We were living in Sherman Oaks. Horrifying? Yeah. We hid under a table in the hall. That's what I remember doing. So this one the other night. It wasn't, how did you react?

Well, it sounded like a meteor. I don't know. I was just startled the wake. And then I have this old TV that's on my dresser. And like, it's kind of big. so like that's like the first thing to topple over and Amanda was sleeping next to me so like half asleep I went it just sort of like like as like a shield over her I was like but I was also like not awake enough to realize like anything that was happening so I was like but in my subconscious I was

trying to be a hero but then I really wanted to go back to sleep yeah well my friend Xander I know I was we were watching a horror movie via Zoom last night and he was like Carrie and I his wife love them both it was the weirdest thing because I don't know what it's called but I think he had a name for it they got up they jolted up and they were both nauseous and like almost throwing it up and they were like wow I didn't have that but what I did is I deep sleep and I don't have I'm not lucky enough to have someone sleeping next to me you know in fact my dog doesn't even sleep next to me anymore either of them I guess you know you blame them yeah but I was out of a deep sleep just whole it was like that sound and

And I remember I got to the doorframe. First I ran to the dog and Blanche was like, oh, my God. I was like, all right, just stay there. I got to the door frame. And I remember I got that voice back from 2001. I was like, Lord, Lord, I'm in your hands now. I don't have any control here. I just, you know, hey, I make it quick.

You know, it was. It was terrifying. And you got to think, you know, you're California. You live in California now. I mean, I grew up in Indiana, but we always have tornadoes. I remember tornadoes in Indiana, seeing two funnel clouds. Does that we call them funnel clouds? Tornadoes freak me out more than earthquakes.

Oh, my God, seeing these things in the backyard about, I don't know, a quarter of a half a mile away. I was like, oh, my gosh. I have no idea how you guys deal with that. Yeah, and I've had a lot of friends. I had a friend who lost his dad to it, the people's houses. I mean, you hear all that stuff. But this one, you got to think that the big California one's coming. You got to think, you know, it's due.

You hope it's not. But you know there's going to be one. You know there's going to be another one, a big one. Yeah, that's what we keep being told. Yeah, and then there was a brush fire. That day there was a brush fire. Helicopter was dropping right near where I live. And I'm like, my buddy Harlan, you know, dumb and dumber, the cop, the picks, you know,

he's like, you guys drinking on some of Grandpa's cough medicine, are you? He leaves a voice memo, he goes, hey, bud, I don't know if you notice, but uh, choppers are around, they're dropping water and whatever shit they drop. And, uh, it's kind of right near you. So, look, I don't know what's going to happen, but you might want to grab your laptop or your belongings. And I'm like, what is going on? Earthquake this morning, rush fire, COVID,

all the shit that's going on in the world. I'm thinking, I mean, I guess it's normal to think is this end of days. You start to think that, but you got to, we can't think like that. You can't live in the future. No. I talk about that. You just got to go, hey, what do you got? What do you got?

Throw it at me, and I'm going to do the best I can to deal with it. And you hope that it just things get better. I mean, look, that's life. You know, you have these highs, you have these lows, you have these. But the things you can't control are the toughest, right? The things that, you know, you can't control death. You can't control, you know, earthquakes or tornadoes. So, you know, and then I just sent out a friend's dad died.

My other friend, close friend, his dad got COVID, went to the hospital, had pneumonia. He's doing better now. Also, a big shout out to Mr. Lally, Tom Lally, Sr. I love you, Mr. Lally. You're a fantastic human being, and I'm wishing you the best and thinking of you. He knows that because I text him constantly. Hey, it's Rosenbaum. All right, Mike.

You know, it's so cliche, and people do that when something tragic happens or, but it's, it's pretty easy to just text somebody or call somebody to say, I want you to know, I love you. That's it. That's it. It's good for everyone. I immediately did that with my siblings, so I don't talk to a ton. and my brother who I hadn't talked to in a while said, you know, text me something really nice and it was nice.

It was almost like self-deprecating sort of like, hey, I know I've sort of been a little bit of a fuck up, whatever, my older brother. And he said something that was kind of profound. And I'm not going to say it probably as profoundly as he texted it to me. But it was nice. So yeah, look, also a shout-up before we get into our guest, and this is a fantastic guest.

I know I say that, but also, you guys, know that you heard it a million times whatever you could do to support the podcast you're doing it by listening but if you're here for this guest only subscribe listen watch on youtube it's all free to do that and if you want to join patreon which by the way my patrons are the reason why we're doing the show because uh you know supporting the podcast in other ways and you know there's a bunch of great stuff that i i give like certain tears get questions with me and inside of me and i created a character that talks to me like a a female version of me a uh an australian if that's what you want to call it sure his accent goes in and out but he asks me questions from the patrons in those and i

create these so i'm home alone because you're not here a lot and i create these characters that talk to me and ask me questions so that's all part of that and then uh some tiers get to ask the guest questions called shit talking so i go this is from my patron this is so-and-so we do zooms there's a bunch of shit it's great started this community there's a huge amount of uh friendships that have been created. So Patreon, inside of you, Patreon. If you haven't heard of it, check it out. I think you'll love it.

It supports the podcast. And just, you know, text your friends, email your friends to listen or watch and subscribe and support the podcast at Inside of You podcast on Instagram and at Inside of You pod on Twitter. So I want to thank them. And a big shout out. We did a stage at Rob Danson and I. We're trying to make a new album. So we do these stage it, these live performances on stage it.

And tons of people come and the top bidder or whatever. Two lovely ladies, Vicki Garcia and Lisa Jordan. I want to give you my love right now. Vicki, Garcia, Lisa Jordan, top bidders. Thank you so much. And thanks for supporting our music and I want to make an album. And lastly, I will say this. If it wasn't for this podcast, which I almost quit many times,

in the beginning, we weren't getting anybody to listen. And I was like, what am I doing? I mean, this is just a blow to the ego. No one gives a shit. And then I just stuck with it. And I'm so glad I did because, and the music, I really started two years ago. And, you know, the Patreon, I started six months ago. But if I wasn't doing these things, what would I be doing now?

I wouldn't be looking at this inside of you pillow that Kristen and Leah made for me with all the names of the guests and these pillows. But I wouldn't be doing all. you know so it's all the love and support and you know um you know when i talk about i mean there's some podcasts that are huge you know that just get in and then there's some podcasts there but i think everybody nowadays all these celebrities since the covid they're starting podcasts so they're all podcasters so there's a lot to listen to and i'm like you know to be able to come back and listen to me and support me in this podcast and us ryan um and bryce uh it's really um it's amazing and i'm so grateful and i'm glad i stuck with it and uh it's growing and it makes me

happy. So again, thank you, Ryan. I've said it before. I'll say it again. You're welcome. I'm glad you stuck with it. Yeah, yeah, I am too. I mean, what the fuck would I be doing? Uh, this guest is, um, someone I've known for a while. Also, you should know he's the only one that you see, um, in person that I've been doing because I've done all Zooms. Now, he was, it was in person because we did it months ago because we didn't think we did a bunch in a row at the end of January, beginning of February and we just sort of been, and then when COVID hit, we decided to do some Zoom. And we sort of held on to this one for a while. We held on.

We're like, you know, this could go on for a long time, longer than we anticipated. So, yeah, so this is, you'll see him, but he's not wearing a mask because this is way before COVID. So, he's a great guy. And I didn't, I didn't know him that well other than, you know, just kind of really friendly. But, man, he opens up, man. He opens up so much about his biological father and his, and Kurt Russell, who raised him

in Goldie. And it was, you know, I didn't expect. This interview to be more than 50 minutes. And I went longer because I was so interested in him. And I was so open and fun. And I loved, I loved talking to him. I really loved, I think you can hear it in my voice while we're talking as it goes on. So Oliver Hudson, he's been in a lot of stuff.

You know, his sister Kate. They have a podcast. And let's just get into it. I think you're going to really dig this. Let's get inside of Oliver Hudson. It's my point of view. You're listening to a podcast. Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum.

Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. How do we know each other? I'm pretty sure that I went out with your wife. Oh, yeah. A long, long time ago. And I really liked her. And she dumped me and then she dated someone else and then met you and then you got married. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, wonderful. I left the house. She was at the house. I was like, I'm going to talk. talk about Rosenbaum and your whole relationship. Did you say that to her? Yeah, she goes, don't, don't bring it up.

I mean, we really didn't have a relationship. No, I know you dated for a minute. I was too, you know what it was? It was one of the first times in my life, not the first. I've had a lot of these moments where I am just intimidated by a woman. She was so, I felt she was like, nobody's perfect. But I thought she was beautiful and sweet and smart and cool. And I was like, don't fuck the, and I just.

And that's why I think I'm single. That's why I think a lot of my confidence. not because of Aaron. No, no, no, I know, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Yeah, no, she's, she's amazing. You missed out. You blew it.

I mean, you really did. I didn't blow it. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what happened, but I'm happy that she came into my world because that woman is. Did you know right away? Did you know right away? Yeah, well, you know how it is, man. Like, we met actually in acting, an acting class. It was almost worse, you know.

But I had a girlfriend. I was dating Vanessa Shaw. Remember Vanessa Shaw? No. She was an actress around town from him. Actually, she lived right up here. And we were friends for a minute. Yeah.

And then she dated Simon, Rex, for about six months. That's what, I thought that's what happened right after me. Simon started dating there. Yes, it was Simon. And I was like, of course, he's way better looking. He's got a great body. He's got that Italian look on his face. Yeah, he's got that, like, he is a good looking guy.

He is a good looking, he is a Italian look on his face. God, God, damn it. He looks, he looks American, but at the time he had an Italian look on his face. Such a good-looking guy. Yeah, he's the way, yeah, yeah. So she did him for six months. She did him for six months, and then we, we got together. But like anything else, when we first got together, of course, she was great. I didn't

know her, but she was just sexy as shit. And I wanted to, you know, see her naked. I mean, that's really what it was. Let's be honest. No. And then we got, we made it happen, and that was that. I mean... And it was good. I was concerned at first.

That you weren't good. Yeah. You were quick. Yeah. Yeah, who wouldn't be quick? Yeah, I was quick. I'm quick all the time. I've been married for 19 years and I'm still quick sometimes. What's wrong with that?

You know what I say? Here's what I say, Ryan. There's nothing wrong with that. I look at a woman if that happens and I just go, because someone told me this works. I go, compliments to you. And then she's like, that's not going to work. No. You're in your 40s.

You shouldn't be coming like a 17-year-old. No, no, no, dude. I mean, I swear to God, I've been with Aaron for 19 years. and sometimes I don't, I feel, I don't know what happens. Does she say what happened? Three pumps in and I'm like, holy shit, slow down. What is it you think with premature ejaculation? What, what?

I think, I mean, I can speak from myself, but men, I think are very visual. Super visual, right? The minute I get into the zone and I see it all happening. Yeah. I'm like, uh-oh. Oh, shit. Yeah, it's happening right now and I can see everything. Isn't that something?

And I'm like, it's all beautiful and hot. And I'm like, okay, well, don't look, look away or something. That is a beautiful vagina. And your penis is going in and out of that. And you're done. No. And by the way, your penis has never looked better. Oh, because the lighting is so dark.

It's a nice sheen. Oh, you know, maybe a moonlight, a shaft of moonlight. A shaft of moonlight. That's exactly. Yeah. It's, it's real. I mean, those visuals. Dude, I'm glad you, I'm glad you, you go early.

Yeah. I mean, not all the time. But if she loves you, she's good with it. She's like, hey, he's going to do it better next time. I think men have a misconception, though. Men think that women just want to have sex for hours. That is just not the case. And it won't be the case if they're dating me.

Well, good. Let's promote your premature ejaculation. I can never date. If you're a woman out there and you're thinking, oh, man, Rosenbaum's kind of cute. I want to have sex with them. Just know, you'll never have hours. of sex with it. Good. No one wants that. If you're counting cumulatively in a decade, then you're going to get about an hour and a half. You're going to get maybe a couple hours.

But not, but go ahead. In the moments that things are going really well, too well, actually well for me where I'm like, oh, I'm in a zone now. I can, I can last for however long I want, which happens. Aaron is like, okay, let's get this fucking over with already. Should I put some, should I put some Jennifer Aniston Friends season four on? She's, she's, she's, she's, She's done. It's a good eight to, eight to 11 minutes, and then boom. Do you watch any porn? We used to.

Does that mess up things? No, no, no, no, no. I don't, I don't watch porn anymore personally. I quit. I quit. Very, very seldom. I quit. I quit about a year and a half of you.

You say you quit like you're an addict? I wasn't an actual addict, but it was, it was, I use it to self-soothe, meaning like, I'm bored, what can I do right now? Oh, I'll jerk off. It's going to pass the time. Much like smoking a cigarette, I quit that as well. Yeah, I don't smoke either. You know what I mean?

I quit. But that's why I smoked. I was like, you know, especially on movie sets or TV sets, it was like, okay, in between takes. What am I going to do now? I'm bored. I'll smoke a cigarette. And that's the same with jerking off, dude.

Jerking off. It was like, okay, I'm home alone for an hour and a half, two hours. What the fuck am I going to do? Even while you're married, you're jerking off. Yeah. Not anymore, though, dude. I have, let me tell you something. Yeah, tell me.

Since November of last year, I have jerked off probably, I don't know, 10 to 13 times. Since when? A year, a year, about it. Oh, just over a year. Okay. I just, uh, I don't know. I don't want to tell you something. I don't want.

I'm sort of done with it. And by the way, I'm not trying not to. Right. I'm not trying not to. I just have no desire about my sex life with Aaron is on fire. All right. See, this is, this is, look, I, I'm not saying this to just make. make you feel better because not that you need to feel but you're first of all you're married

you have three kids you have a great life you're working you're getting laid you're doing all these great things so yeah I'm I'm yeah I wish I was in your shoes I really do but I've never been a jerk offer mm-hmm jerk off but I've never been a jerk off yeah I remember I just never I mean I'm sure I jerked off a little bit in college yeah but I've never been one that like I got a masturbate it just it was one of those things where we're like now it's been a couple week since you got late it's like uh yeah all right i'll jerk off you know the problem with me is i get i have ADD yeah so sometimes it's just like i'm trying to jerk off and now i'm thinking is the i think i think i just heard the wash is done you get distracted i got to put the clothes in

the dryer right is that my dog down there maybe something maybe she would down there now it's just it's limp it's hard it's like a fucking slink it sounds terrible you get distracted while jerking it's just like forget it no i agree i i just when i was younger i was when i had i got mono in high I got Mono a couple years ago. Did you really? Mono, dude. I'll tell you about that. That would fuck me up, man.

Oh. You know, Justin Bieber, you see that that happened? Yeah. Well, go ahead. Oh, so I had mono and I was home for fucking two months or some shit. You had the strength to jerk off with Mono? I was so bored. I jerked off like 10 times a day.

I mean, I must have had Mono that. Well, I can sit on a couch and get hard. You know, I mean, that's easy. I guess. Yeah. You know, I'm sleepy, but I can still jerk off. Yeah, I didn't get Mono. I was a kid and so

maybe because I didn't ever you know this is called the kissing disease which is kind of bullshit it's like you can get it off a lip balm you can get off whatever but I had fight or flight for so long because I was going I was stressing myself out not being able to deal with stress that I was a lead on a show and then I was

trying to stand up in front of crowds with big comedians and I'd never done it and I was in a band for the first time performing on stage I just did everything at once and I was not when I say fighter flight I was perpetually consistently in heart heart heart heart heart like always nervous nerve like always on edge going up till you know two in the morning getting back home and something happened just the perfect storm while I was

I was in Germany I came back and I went to the doctor and it took me they go look for adult mono it could take you speaking of jerking off on mono but it I'm telling you but it I'm telling you for adults over a year for me to really start to feel who I am again. So you had Epstein Bar as well, right? I mean, because that goes, that goes. I guess so, yeah, that whole thing.

But dude, it was brutal. And I had, like, high mercury. And I had, like, real shit. Like, I got, I didn't believe it because I was like, I don't have mono. Yeah. Then they thought I had fucking Lyme disease. So they sent me,

so one of my friends are like, you should go to this Lyme specialist. So I went to this Lyme specialist. She goes, you have lime. Then I went to another lime specials. You have Lyme. I'm like, fuck this. I know I don't have lime.

She's giving me penicillin shots in my ass How do you know you don't have it When you have two doctors tell you either You're just listening to your body I'm not saying Lyme disease is a hoax because it's not But there's a lot of doctors out there That kind of just will be like oh yeah Well you look at your results

So the first thing I did was went to my general practitioner again I said listen man There's no way I have fucking mono And Lyme disease and Babesia or some fucking shit I've never been bitten And I don't, he goes, I'm going to send you to the infectious diseases center over at Cedars. And I go, great. I'm excited about this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I went there. And this guy was like one of the heads and he looked through every booklet of all these tests. He goes, you know, let me tell you something. You could listen to me or not. I don't think you have Lyme disease. I think you got mono. And I think you're tired.

and I think you're going to get better. I don't want you to take these tests anymore. If you took a lot of these tests that they're giving you, I would show up positive in some of these tests. A lot of people would be, I don't think you have Lyme. Move on with your line. Yeah. And I did, and from that day forward, I started getting better.

Oh, wow. And I'm not saying Lyme's fake. I'm saying if they say you have Lyme, go to a specialist disease control. And the Lyme people will say, No, doctors say it's bullshit, and some do. But this guy goes, I've seen Lyme, I've seen it. I believe it.

I don't think you have Lyme. And- Well, you had auto-immune. I mean, I've got autoimmune disease of some sort. I just was like, mono or whatever. I was fucked, man. Well, then who the hell are you supposed to believe any of these days? You know? I mean, who knows, man, but I hit a wall and it was scary because.

Were you able to work? I mean, were you able to function? I mean, how did you? No, I was pretty fucked, man. I was like, I couldn't, I think I did some things, but I was like, I'm not at my best. I don't have the confidence because I always feel like I'm going to be too tired. Yeah. How am I going to finish this?

I just, I still functioned where I tried to sleep and I try to watch movies and read and, you know, my friends did something. But I felt so self-conscious, like, I know I look like shit. I know I don't look like myself. I know they're looking at me like I feel. They're looking at me And they're just being nice And some of my friends would just be like Dude man

You look like shit I'm like fuck Why am I going out So I just looked like Did it give you any anxiety? Oh yeah I'm telling you that's when I fucking hit a wall With anxiety

I think that started the whole thing That anxiety kind of just went Boom That shit is real dude I mean I It's real anxiety Well I mean I went In my 20s

I had a year of debilitating anxiety like, lose my shit, can't leave the house. Every time I left the house, I was throwing up, you know. I was still trying to be an actor. I was just sort of getting started. Nervous about auditioning, nervous about everything? I didn't know.

So it hit me. Actually, I was with my friend John going into crazy girls of all places, right? Is that a department store? Yeah, it's a department store on Fairfax. They gave good hand jobs at the department store. Amazing, dude. Right. It is a nice view it.

was owned previously by a slash or something no no it was the uh the dude who is the this is going to be the worst way to explain who this guy is he on crazy girls he was the deputy cop and scream um david arquette that's it i think he might have owned one of those did he really i cannot believe you describe david arcad the deputy cop what but it's good how would you describe it i mean i got it how would you describe him uh what would you have said he's married he's a guy brother of patricia archette yeah exactly The brother Patricia Arquette. Oh, I didn't know Arquette.

I couldn't remember the name. But anyway, so I'm walking in, and my friend John is in front of me. And my heart just out of nowhere explodes or so, I think. Beating, beating. Bo boom, it put me on a knee because I was like, I thought you had an heart attack. I thought it was having a heart attack. And I was like, John, and he didn't hear me.

And I took five minutes outside. I didn't die. And I was gathering myself. I went in. I had a vodka I was like I need something I don't know what the fuck just happened to me

and I was like I gotta get out of here something's weird that started almost a year of intense anxiety to where I would wake up every day

and feel like I couldn't breathe tingling down your arms I would do all that I would go outside and throw up and I was surfing a lot of the time but I was not going to let it affect my life so I would go out into I would go under the lineup

and and fucking throw up and stuff but try to catch waves and and then And I was still trying to be an actor. So I was going to fucking auditions. You were hiding it because you had to hide it back. It was gnarly. It was so intense.

So how did you be? Meditation, writing in journals. And then I got through most of it. And then there was still a little edge. And then I took antidepressants. I took Selexa. I was on Selexia for a while. What is Selexa?

Selexas is an antidepressant. That's not like you go, Selexa, can you turn on the radio? That's not it. That's funny. No, what is it? Antidepressant. It's an antidepressant anxiety. It's an antidepressant.

It's an antidepressant anti-an anti-anxiety, right. It's called an antidepressant. It's an SSRI. It's a serotonin uptake inhibitor, basically. I think I took something like that. I didn't have a depression, but it was good for my, to take the edge off of my anxiety. It really worked. Oh, dude, it'd fucking.

Are you still on it? No. So I got off of that. And then I was working in Nashville for two years away from my kids. On the show, Nashville. Yeah. And I just had my third kid, Rio. She was 10 days old.

old and I have to go for two years to fucking Nashville. So now I'm flying back and forth every chance I got. That's going to give you anxiety. It took a toll and then I had another moment. You said fuck it's back. Oh dude I had a boom I had a freak out and I was like holy shit I didn't I went on to Lexa Pro. And so

now I'm on Lexa Pro but I'm weaning off. It's been three years. Things are good. So I'm trying to just sort of So what triggers this? I'm getting so it's different for people but I think like for me when you're not sleeping enough, when you're flying too much, when you're not taking care of yourself, when you're not exercising, when you're allowing yourself, if all these things, if you're not doing all these things, then, you know, you can't fight off this stuff. Dude, totally.

Well, there was two different reasons why in the two separate parts of my life. The first one was just trying to be an actor in my early 20s, right? My mom's a movie star. My dad's a movie star. Kate is now a movie star, and I am trying to fucking do this. I'm not putting my all into it at all. I am just sort of... At that point.

No, dude. But still, I have put this expectation and this pressure on myself and it's just not going well. But I was not, I wasn't going full speed because the harder you try, the further it is to fall. You know, if I study for an audition with an inch of its life and I go and I fucking bomb that's going to hurt. If I don't study and I just go hung over and read the lines in my car as I'm going to the audition and I don't get it. Oh, fuck. I didn't try. I have an excuse. Good. Right. And that's where I was in the latter. And then it just caught up to me and through therapy and through, you know, meditation and my journal writing. It all came into, it all came into view as to why this was

happening to me at this time. It was sort of like a quarter life crisis, you know? I think John Mayer. Maybe it's a cold of life crisis. Is that? Is that a song? Why George is the song? Why, Georgia, why? That's the song. He says a quarter-life price. I never heard it before then. I didn't even know that was a song. But now we're in our mid-life crisis.

We're in our mid-life crisis. That's right. And I kind of had one. I also think just communication, I mean, there was a lot that I held in in my later years going to Nashville. You know, it's just the authenticity, you know, holding shit in, not being truthful to yourself, to people around you, not being expressive. not being vulnerable the way I should be vulnerable

I mean all of these things being away from my family I think that's what led to this You know what's happening right now I'm gonna be honest with you I knew you were coming in here I was excited and seen you for a while I always liked you

Just a genuine dude always liked you We didn't hang out really I know we had a moment We had moments and some last But just you know Yeah But now just 20 minutes into this I just

I'm learning so much And I, and I, I, I just, I love that you're so open about this shit because this is like, it's important, dude. I, I, I, you know, fuck everybody else listening. It's really about me. That's right. That's right. No, but it's, it's just, it's ringing in my ears. Like, it seems like, you know, I talked about this through all the other pockets, but this is what I think we're all listening.

We're going, you're giving us little things. Maybe it's just one thing we learned from you, but you're being so open about how you beat your anxiety that when something's not working for someone else, and go, you know, Oliver Hudson did this, he journaled about how he was feeling and he did this and this. Maybe I'll give that a shot. Maybe I'll try everything. And that's really the key is to just do whatever it takes. No, totally. And by the way, I've always been an open book. And I think it's important now. That's why I love what you're doing. I love what we're doing in the space, right? Thank you. It's time to fucking tell the truth. I think you can help people with your truth and your authenticity. Who gives a fuck what people think? You know what I mean?

Like, that's what I'm getting over, yeah. Who's going to listen to this right now and say, oh, my God, Oliver had anxiety or Oliver, you know, took antidepressants. I mean, I don't give a fuck. I mean, that stuff does not affect me at all. And by the way, by the way, the fact that you're saying that, now, I'm not sure I believe you completely. Why not? Now, I know, I believe you. I believe that you care what everyone else thinks.

Hang on, less than me, but I'm not sure you're completely like it doesn't somehow affect you. Okay. You're not wrong. And here's how you're not wrong. When it comes to the stuff that we were just talking about in my personal life and the things that I believe in or my truth. You don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I agree with you.

Okay. Okay. I'm with you. Now again. As a performer, as an entertainer, as an actor, as I do. And that has been my downfall as an actor. I think that I have not touched my potential because of fear, 100%. How do we get over that?

And on my 24th birthday, Kurt. my stepdad. Kurt Russell, right? He pulls me in, and this is right when I started acting. I mean, I was 21, 22. Actually, 24 is when I got my first gig. And I was going to do this job. One of my first big jobs. And I was so scared and so nervous. And by the way, I still get so fucking nervous when I go work. Of course. It makes me crazy. I would be so great if I didn't have to do. No, but it's part of you. I don't

want it to be a part of me. Totally. Not this much. Yeah. I'm so with you. I'm like, I don't, don't get. Give me that it's a party of you or use it bullshit. Give me a little bit. Just let me be free and then I'll be good, right? But he told me, he goes, here's the thing. The talent is all there. The problem is with you.

He goes, you just have to stop giving a shit what people think about you. And it's true, but that's him. Okay? And this is what I learned later on. I was always for 10 years trying not to give a shit. I'm trying not to give a shit. because Kurt truly doesn't give a shit about what people think about him

in the acting space and my brother Wyatt Russell right now Hockey player, goalie, I love that guy. He's crushing in it, he's an actor and fucking crushing it right now. His confidence doesn't give a shit is through the roof. He doesn't give a shit. He's like, I'm going to do it the way I want to do it, and if you don't

think it's good, I don't give a shit. I tried to emulate that. The problem is, the realization I had was that's not inherently, that's not who I am. That's not your makeup. Exactly. That's who these people are, but that's not who I am. And once I recognize that, it was sort of liberating in a way. It's okay to give a shit, but just don't let it rule you. Rule you. Right. You can care, you know, but there's a way to sort of curb the anxiety

around that caring so much. An expectation. You know what? I have to say this. I was selfishly thinking while you were talking. Oh, my God. Kurt had a conversation with Kurt Russell, Snake Pluskin, and he looked at him, and he said words of wisdom, don't give a shit. And from then on, Oliver ruled the world. And then I was going to say, is there any way Kirk can have this conversation with me? That's what went through my fucking psychotic mind. If it worked for you. But it didn't.

So what you're saying is it didn't. I had to discover it myself. Right. Because you, this is basic fucking education here. This is be yourself. And this translates to every job, every... This is who you are. Ryan, if you're shy, you're a little awkward, which you are.

Right. Yeah, I can sense that. Who gives a fuck? You're brilliant. I've seen his shit. He's brilliant. Look at his YouTube videos. And he just, he hasn't even scratched the surface.

I know what this guy can do. Right now, he's working with me and hopefully for a while. Yeah. But, you know, I get the shit out of a record button. I tell you what, though. No, I know. Exactly. But I think that there's like, hey, Rosie, you're a little spastic.

you're a neurotic you look at your genes dude you come from manic depression and crazy shit and valium induced rages and all this whatever yeah like but this is who you are yeah try to be as healthy as you can and you know what if you fall apart every once in a while it's okay and i'm with you when you say the anxiety stuff and this i am much better i don't care i'm talk about it openly about me going to a wellness center, me doing that fucking, please. But when it comes to certain things, like, you know, I was just off for this movie. And I'm like, I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could do it right now.

I don't think I can learn 100 pages of lines in two weeks and then go. And some people go, you don't have to learn 200 pages. You just go the night before. I don't work like that. Yeah. I'm going to stress myself to the fucking death of me. If I don't have time to prepare and be fucking great, I will freak myself out, not knowing the lines.

Give me a fucking earwig. Yeah. Do whatever. there's all this shit that comes with it. But you know what? Maybe I should embrace it. Maybe go, Rosie, you're fucking right. Yeah.

Why would you put yourself through hell for that? Yeah. Why? Yeah. Do your podcast. Yeah. Wait for the right thing. Yeah.

Develop your show. Talk to people. Go to some cons. Enjoy life. Why kill yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Unless somebody can just fix me.

Or, but, but no, no, no. But if you're running away from it because of those fears, then that's not the right place to be, I don't think. You know what I mean? I mean, like, if this movie's a good movie and it's a great character and it's something that you want to do, but the idea of going to do it makes you too nervous and now you're not going to do it because of that. Well, there's other things like, you know, Chicago, Dead of Winter, outside, you know. Is there money? Fed surgeries, not a ton.

I like the guy's a good writer. You know, I want to do his other movie. I probably will. If he doesn't listen to this or if he listens to it, I'll know that I respect him. By the way, lines, you say memorization of lines. that is the biggest problem for me me too for me it's not about whether I'm a good actor or not it's like oh my god can I remember the lines and if I don't everyone's going to think oh this fucking guy doesn't know his lines and now we're not going to lunch on time yeah is it is it more

about the lines than it is it logical though is it real can you do you have muscle memory where it becomes easier or is it always hard no it becomes easier it becomes easier and it's also again sort of saying you know what here's what I tell myself we're all here to do a job on this movie set, right? We need craft service for food. We need grips. We need electricians. We need everyone.

Everyone fucks up. How many times it's like, all right, wait, wait, wait, cut, cut. We got to reset this light. Or the DP says this isn't working. I need 15 more minutes. So the actor could fuck up. I'm allowed to fuck up. And I'm allowed to say, oh shit, sorry, guys.

I'm going up on my line six times. I know that. But there is a part of me that wants, this is what I have to change. I just, you're making me realize this. There's a part of me that I'm never late. I hit my marks every time. I come in. I don't even need my script. I read it. I fucking know it. I don't even want to rehearse. Let's fucking shoot it. I know it inside out. I put so much pressure on myself. I fucking live it. And then I do it that I don't want to fuck up. If I feel lost out there, like, I don't know these lines. That is terrifying. To me, that is like, drop.

dropping the ball, you are a failure. They're all going to see through your shit. You're going to embarrass yourself. I remember there was one take in a movie that took me 13 takes to say a line because I was so in my head that I couldn't even think of the line. I could not even think that just stop for a second.

Breathe. It didn't matter what the line was. It wasn't coming out. It came out somehow. And I think God jumped in my body for a second. He helped me out in that moment. In this movie that made no money, he helped me. Yeah, dude.

No, I know that. I mean, you just go completely blank. I have a story about that. I was doing a sitcom. Rules of engagement. Rules of engagement, right, for seven years, live audience. And I was, we were well into the series. I forget what season it was.

There was a scene I had... David Spade, Patrick Warburton, right, right, right. And I had to do this scene right, center stage in front of the whole fucking audience. There's like two, three hundred people, however many people. I forget the line. Okay. I forget it again. Now it's...

In your head. In my head. And now I'm done. And there's no one there to say. me. No, the EP, the executive producer, writer, director, no one said, all right, you know what, let's just give it a second or every, I was, I was just twisting in the wind. I realized in that moment that I had to take this into my own hands because the audience now went from laughing that I fucked up a line because they do. Now it's quiet. Embarrassing. And now I'm six takes in and I

cannot get these lines out. And now everyone is feeling for me in this audience, dude. You take two or three, you were probably already thinking that moment's going to come. Oh, 100%. Yeah, they come and are going to laugh now. Yeah. I'm going to fuck it up again. You're already anticipating your fuck up. And it was like a page and a half scene, hitting marks and running around, all four cameras rolling.

Finally, I said, all right. And I took control of everything because I couldn't deal with it anymore. I said, here's what's going to fucking happen. I lost it. I snapped. You did. Oh, I said, okay, Bianca, who is my co-star. I was like, go.

Let's start the scene. Cameras, you fucking rolling. Keep them rolling. Let's go. You ready? Scripts was right. I was, what's the big thing? She tells me the line. I do the thing. I do whatever my sitcom-y thing is. I hit the mark. All right. What move the cameras? I know we're repositioning. What's the next line? Tell it to me. I did it in four parts and just went through it like that and said, hey, tell me the line. Okay. Okay, great. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Finish it up. All right, all right, we're done. That's it. We're done me to see it.

Was everybody like, oh, my God. Oh, well, the audience started to cheer, you know, because it was, there was a release of some sort there. Maybe we're moving on finally or hey fucking right exactly right but it was that moment of I am so fucked and I took control I had to I had to save myself it was desperation time no one was reaching out to me and saying oh dude let's just hey all you want like 10 minutes man you want 10 minutes that's probably been worse 10 minutes would have been worse I can't think straight just more to you know what I was thinking you were going to do this is what I would have done and I think this this happened like in a lot i was doing a sitcom and i said the line ball and my dad was there that night and that's a big thing because like you know yeah talk about feeling like failure oh yeah yeah so

i'm there and i do this thing and they go uh rosy yeah let's take it back let's do that again and i remember i stumbled and i was like and the director's like all right cool moving on and i knew i knew i didn't care yeah i'm like i don't care if he's moving on yeah yeah i don't care if it sucked i want to move on yeah i don't give a fuck you know and so i think in that situation i might have been like You know what, guys? We can always pick this up when you're not here. You know the scene. You've seen it.

We're going to pick it up after the show. I'm not going to hold up your time because I don't know my goddamn lines. And make a joke and be done with it after take two. We're going to do it afterwards. I'm not doing it now. That's what's happening. Okay. They would have listened to you.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure. For sure. Why do we get so terrified? I don't know because we care. We care. Yeah. But we care too much.

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Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum. Rocket Money. Look, how many times in interviews over your life has it, and it's a wonder too. you talk about the pressures you talk about you know you're 20 and like here's kate has this huge success and here's my my dad's kurt russell and my mom's uh you know goldie hawn it's like of course it's like how are you not going to compare and go yeah i guess i should be a movie star it's that easy i should just be a movie star and you're working and all these things sure i mean but the thing is it's not what i wanted to do i mean i i wanted to make movies like when my

direct produce right that's what i did when i was a kid while kate was doing play I had cameras and filters and squibs and blood and fucking latex. Our movie. Oh, I loved all that shit. You actually make a horror movie. I would. I really would. I want to do a horror series right now and it's fucking good.

Oh, dude. Two actors talking about the pride, but it is, man. It is. No, I loved, I loved all that shit. I grew up on horror, you know, and that's what I did. And then I went to college for two years, left Boulder. I was just, I was going to kill myself there. is drinking and skiing, pretty much.

Then I worked at, I was a PA for two years, production assistant on movies, and then I went in an SC summer intensive thing, which was really fun. And then I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do for life. But you had to know you were good-looking. Because I remember seeing you when I was, you know, and I was like, man, that guy's really cute.

She's a cute guy, good-looking, cute, clean-cut guy. So you had looks. I mean, your mom's Goldie Hawn. Was Bill Hudson a good-looking guy? Yeah, he was. You don't talk to him. I know that, right? No, we do now. We do now. A little bit. Yeah. I mean, it's a crazy story. I mean, I was, I was working in New Orleans, and it was Father's Day. And I posted something with my sick sort of dark sense of humor. And it was a picture of my sister and my dad and myself during happy times. And the caption was Happy Abandonment Day. And I thought it was funny. I still think it was funny. But you hadn't talked to him in how long?

ever i haven't seen him in 13 14 years 15 years but who would have thought that bill hudson was on the instagram well he wasn't but what happened was is the press picked it up and then it caught fire and then it all went viral and then of course because my sister is my sister she got included into the whole thing the comments on my that post just fucking started stacking up i mean it turned into this whole thing people being nice or people kind of both yeah both supportive and like hey right both both both and then and i was like oh shit i was just trying to be funny you know did your mom think it was funny i mean i she was like oliver you know she did one of those and kate same thing kate was like what are you doing i'm like i don't know i was just trying to make a fucking

i'm 43 when you when this happened oh no this was i was uh i was like 39 okay so it wasn't long ago right right right so then my dad uh comes out with an article and like the Daily Mail saying I you know that my kids are dead to me and I mean he he was very hurt by it because he had heard about it he's not on Instagram and then I wrote him a text I got his number and wrote him a long text and it wasn't mean but it was it was stern and I apologized but didn't in a way you know I said look who are you to be dead to me you have been dead to me I'm saying like who are you to be angry about this dad I mean let's get real for a fucking second and it led to a phone call which was a three hour phone call which was really

an amazing phone call no no tears but it was you know it was i i sort of put him on the witness stand you know what i mean i was just grilling him it was just talking about my life and you know everything and i'm i'm a man now i'm no longer even in my 20s when we were when we talked last i mean things are different it was a great conversation i finished this job i went back to l a and had an amazing breakfast with him at Patrick's Roadhouse. What was that like? Walking to see, you haven't seen your dad in years and years? It was crazy. I mean, were you, did you get anxious before it?

A little bit, yeah. But, but I was, I felt strong. You know, it was interesting. I went from being sort of, well, I made myself the victim, really, even through my childhood, because, you know, as a kid, you think you did something wrong and you think it's your fault, obviously, in the sort of after-school special way. but you know you know it's not but now i felt different i felt like i was in the power seat and i was able to go in there you talk to me kind of let's yeah so and i i went in there did you give him a hug

yeah yeah i went in there he had long scraggly hair a musician big white beard and i was like oh my god and he and i and you know i'm getting older now and i was like holy shit i look just like this fucker i mean it was the eyes i've never seen what he looks like but yeah the eyes i never seen what he looks like but yeah the eyes i mean and i gave him a big hug and we had breakfast and it was an amazing talk and then we sat outside of patrick's roadhouse and smoked a pack of cigarettes together which was amazing and uh even that was part of the catharsies you know what i mean we just just the moment with your dad that you've never had it was beautiful i mean we connected on a on a really interesting level he was opening up to me about certain things in his life you know um you know his his dad bailed on him

in the middle of the night when my dad was five years old. So he was destined to repeat this pattern. He missed it by a year. Yeah. You were four. I know, I know. But he was destined because I knew that this fucked me up at a young age.

I wanted to get help. I wanted to figure my shit out so I didn't do this again to my children. He didn't have that luxury. You know, it was a different time. Therapy was in a different place. Like, he didn't have a chance. and he said a lot of things about my mom and a lot of things. Nice? Yeah, yeah, yeah, really nice.

And it was an amazing, it was an amazing talk. So you forgave him? Oh, yeah, big time. And then we went out to Moon Shadows about three months later and then drank a ton of beer. And that's when it got emotional, actually. He started to get emotional. And we were just, we went from hammering shit out to some resolution. To hammered.

To hammered. Exactly. To now actually just having fun. and him seeing a lot of who he was in me and me seeing a lot of who I am in him. You know, and it was really an amazing moment. And now we have a relationship, you know. So from that fucking disastrous post

or seemingly disastrous post came something really beautiful, you know? I commend you. Yeah, it was good. And I commend you both, really. But, you know, I mean, there's two things I would have thought about. One is like, I mean, it doesn't matter. You have to figure you have to let go.

But it's like, you know, you didn't have to. to repeat your fucking father what he did but you did so it's like what do you do so you either hold that grudge and say fuck off and go you know what why do i want this there's something deeper that i just want to know more i want to like me you know why i go another 30 years or never no why not have these moments even if it's just one moment that turned into a couple moments for sure and by the way when you look at when you when you when you really get into it how can how can i not forgive him how can i not be compassionate when when i look back on his life and what he went through as a kid with his mom and dad. How can I not feel for him?

Take myself out of the equation. That's the first thing I said to him when I saw him at Patrick's Roadhouse. It was a little small talk, you know, and then I'm the one who I was like, all right, let's talk. I mean, this is the first time I've seen you, let's talk. And I said, the first thing I want to say is let's just take, put aside that you're my dad and then I'm your son. You and I are very similar. How is... We have very similar stories. Crazy. You're dad bailed. My dad bailed. We could sit here and talk as friends and fucking connect and relate right now. And I feel your pain. You know what I mean? And so that's how it started. And it was a good place to start. Just a respect. Exactly. Not in an angry place. Yeah. Let's try to breathe through it.

Let's try to talk. Yeah. You know. Yeah. So there's a lot. I mean... Was your mom upset about it? I mean, when I went and was talking about it. I mean, when I went and was Because a lot of moms, I know people get mad. They're like, oh, that piece of shit, that you're just going to go, you've had this great father. Kurt's been great. You've got to go talk to him. But you know how people could think that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because was it, was it your mom who left Bill? I don't even know. You know, I think so. I think so. Right. So. I think so. But no, my mom was not, no.

My mom has always been great with this stuff. What did Kate do? That's a good question. My sister, you know, she had a different relationship. with him she was younger you know i mean i was a the boy and sort of needed that father figure you know maybe kate took a little bit more from kurt than i did i i don't know but kate uh kate doesn't kate's not where i kate wasn't where i was right kate's totally content you know not having a relationship with him right she hasn't right no no but she's she there's no animosity anymore right you know there's no

anger you know you talk about this on sibling revelry not really no do you ever talk about this stuff uh not like this but yeah i mean when i get into heavy conversations or deep conversations with people for sure i mean i'm not again it's like you said i'm open man i i think it's important stuff yeah yeah yeah i love how candid open you are i mean it's it's why not be i mean what do i have to fucking hide you know what i mean there's probably some things i don't want to say yeah the only reason i wouldn't say things i don't want to say things i mean the only reason i wouldn't say things is just because I don't want other people to not want me to say them. On sibling revelry, we don't talk a lot about my mom and Kurt and the family dynamic.

That's the rule on that show. Well, yeah, for us. You know, there's some things that we just keep out of it because I know that, you know, Kurt doesn't want things exposed and my mom doesn't want things exposed. And I'm not saying there's anything, you know, secret, but just our lives together. that that's sort of special katie and i talk about our relationship you know the deep the depth of our relationships you know and we ever get mad around the podcast do you ever like literally you're fucking annoying no but sometimes i'll call her on her stuff you know when kate gets uh

she'll get a little you know high and mighty and i'll sort of have to knock her off her pedestal a little bit were you were you feel like you were ever like jealous of her or like envious like comparing yourself like why did she get fucking almost famous you know why you know yeah it's one of my one of my biggest issues was comparing myself to everyone you that's I think if you right now I said oh dude I got the new Scorsese thing I will be happy for you but there's definitely a part of me he's like you fuck fuck dude what but there's no I mean there's a difference though there's a difference if you're comparing yourself like you know that guy has it so I should have it you know that's not healthy right and I believe it's it's a learning curve with anybody

it's like first of all you really I'm just genuinely it feels so good when you can go I want you to be successful I want you to do it but yeah of course it feels great when you can feel that or but but really when you can really feel that not fake feel that because sometimes I have to do that yeah sometimes I have to be like oh I'm so happy for you and then when I start to say it and force myself to say it I'll start to feel it yeah but that initial thing I'm like okay force yourself to say it you know and then once I do then I can I melt a lot a lot of little bit but no for sure dude i mean there's competition and it's not jealousy as much as it is envy she's had such an amazing career and even wyatt right now why it you know from the very beginning he he busted his groin and had too many concussions and he comes home and he goes i want to be an actor and he's fucking immediately at sundance in the first year with two movies you know and i'm like you fuck like yeah i'm making money and i'm on a great sitcom that's doing well but there's a part of me that is envious of the creative that they get to be a part of. You know, they've done amazing things with amazing people and, you know,

Wyatt did Link Lider's movie. Everybody wants some. And he was in Austin, Texas for three weeks with all the crew and writing with Link Lider and, you know, Kate's with Cameron Crow and Wyatt's doing all these cool independent movies with visionaries, you know. Yeah. You know, people who are now Uber successful. It's a different trajectory.

Yeah. People would look at me and kill to have my career. worse, you know, but, you know, it's all, it's, there's a relativity there. I look at them and I'm, you know, but I want, I want some of that. The more, the more, it's okay. That's okay to want, but it is certainly, it's hard and we don't do it enough. Where I guarantee you don't do this nearly enough. I'd say very little, where you just sit there for a minute by yourself, sit in your house,

nobody's in the house, or maybe they are. Maybe, uh, the three little kids, the little amigos, they're running around, they're kicking something you know errands you know in a bra i'm hoping yeah hope so and you depends what kind of bra though probably cotton i know but here's the problem she she's she's gonna hit me for saying this but but she's been wearing these they're like armor bras it's like so you know padded even though she's got beautiful big boobs as you probably can remember they're amazing i got to the boobs i'd be honest to that's incredible i mean really fantastic i mean all time yeah all time buddy all time Rub it in.

But she wears these sort of more padded things just to, you know, I don't know, protect. I don't know why. Protect those. Protect them. And I'm like, give me the lace again. Give me the soft stuff. Anyway, go ahead. You know what?

Keep playing subliminally. Keep playing Stevie Nix in the background. Yeah. Leather and lace. That's all. Yeah. It's just start to go subconscious. It's like a David Blaine trick.

That's a good idea. If you're going to fucking, all of a sudden, you're like, dude, what happened? Buzz and buddies over here. No, what I'm saying is try this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the way. I need to do this more. And I have been.

Sit there and go, God, look at me, man. Got this beautiful wife. These three kids live in a nice house. I like my parents. Got this relationship with my dad. Got this cool podcast. Made a lot of money.

Start. I know it sounds stupid. Start just saying these things out loud. Keep saying them. And all of a sudden, you're going to realize dude this this is awesome yeah and i think that's the more grateful we are i'm supposed to say gratitude by the way it's hard it's not as easy as you think but it but it is yeah it's science yeah if we just like i'm doing this i'm working so hard to just go and i am i go hey you got a podcast people listen

to it they like it i'm on patreon yeah i have patrons i fucking uh i have a relationship with my good relationship with my friends i have two great dogs i sleep in a bed yeah i have it If you just start doing this, you start realizing, and then when you start doing the charity and stuff, you start realizing like, God, I'm not dying. No. I'm alive. I've got to stop comparing and worrying and just live. And I think that's the thing for all of us.

And I'm not preaching. No, no, no, no. I need to do this more. Oh, by the way, this is something that everyone should do. Especially Ryan. Oh, yeah. I don't know him, but he just looks like he needs to be more grateful. You need to be more appreciative.

Yeah, you do. I'm working at it. You do. He's appreciative. No, but you're not wrong, dude. And, you know, I write, you know, little words of gratitude every day. I do do that. I mean, not every day, but I, I, when I have times of what the fuck, or I need this,

or I need more money and three kids at fucking private school, I mean, it's gnarly. Yeah. I'm like, all right, what's the worst that can happen? Here's the worst. I sell everything and move to fucking Colorado. You know what the worst thing is? I'll be happy. You know what the world?

You know what the worst thing is? I hate to say it, but think about it because, you know, this is going to air way later. Mm-hmm. But Kobe Bryant. I know. Dude, this, that was... Millions of dollars, has everything. Yeah.

Gone. I know. Like that. So, horribly. I mean, if you really think about it, if we just take today and just live this day and do the best we can and try to have fun and try not to take things too seriously, I think that that's when our anxiety sort of goes away. I think when you can just be happy with yourself,

because I am trying to be happy with myself. I just had somebody come over the house and I'm working on stuff. And, you know, I'm always looking for a miracle. But the miracle, I think, probably lies within me. What's your biggest, like, what's your biggest issue? I think pain, I deal with a lot of pain. Yeah.

So, like actual physical pain. Oh, you do. And I'm trying to like, you know, because I've had surgeries and things. And I don't talk about it really. Right. Not a lot. Why don't you talk about it?

Because I don't, no one wants to hear it. I'm trying to learn how to deal with, but I think of a lot of it is emotional. I think, I think, not, not, I think, is it chronic pain? Yeah, yeah, it's chronic pain. It's been with me for a while, but it's, it's gotten worse. And, um, I'm able to, do you know the most part, right? But is it undiagnosed pain? No, I've had fusion in my neck.

You had a botched surgery. I know a bunch of stuff. Okay. I've heard you talk about that on your podcast. Yeah, like a little, like a surgery. I say, oh, I had this surgery. But I'm right. What I'm saying is I don't sit there and go, oh my God, Rob.

I'm in so much pain man I can't deal with it I can't I don't burden people with all that stuff because I also think you know you have all these great things why should you burden which is stupid it doesn't matter if you're a good friend you'll fucking listen to me because I listen to everybody's fucking problems

right anybody has a problem they come to me I'll fucking help them I always fucking am there for my friends I'm not saying they're not there for me they are but I think they assume that I'm just good which I should be but I'm not because I'm fucking human and I'm neurotic and I've got

my shit yeah and I'm not always good. Yeah. You saw me at Thanksgiving breakdown a little bit. I wasn't there. Well, you didn't see it. Somebody should have taped it. Emotionally breakdown? Yeah, I just, you know, we'll talk about this on your fucking podcast. You can't have me on there.

Do you have a sibling? Yeah, my brother. So bring him on. Oh, that would get, that would get crazy. Good. I think people would like that, but I don't know, man. I don't know if he's willing to talk about like, you know, his shit. We, you know, we don't have to. Well, I could talk to him because, I mean, it might come up and it's like, you know, because he's, yeah, he's, we, we, we

worked together he was my assistant for five years oh oh you got to bring him on dude it'll be great i mean we it'll be great i love him or close kate's the great diffuser too you know what i mean like yeah and it's super chill like this dude i love this i don't want this interview to end and i haven't even looked i haven't looked at this the whole time this is the pages that i kind of looked at i just want to say this what if i just went about i just want to say that i love your mom and seems like old times uh i love chubby chase's performance and that her performance now You know what? By the way, that is

one of my mom That's probably Charles Grohl. Could be my mom's, my favorite movie that my mom has done. It seems like old times. It is fucking untouchable.

I love it so much. Dude, I love that movie. Oh, dude. Remember when at the end? I'll tear up. Remember when she just runs into his house at the end?

She's had that big smile freeze frame. Oh, you're like, I just wanted them to get together. They both in. It's so sweet. I know. I love.

I mean, dude. But look, you, I mean, I mean, it's so cool. It's so cool. You know, it's like, you've heard every story. You've met every celebrity.

It's probably not cool for you anymore because it's like people would say, oh, my God, to be Goldie Hawn and to be Kurt Russell. Kurt, was he a good dad? Oh, yeah. I mean, he changed the whole direction of my life and the whole dynamic of who I might have been. I mean, if it wasn't for Kurt, I would not be the man that I am today, 100%. 100%. I mean, he gave not only myself with my family, Colorado, which is a,

huge part of my life and my upbringing you know he he taught me how to be independent and how to not be afraid and to you know learn how to do things on my own and not rely on anyone else you know i mean there's all kinds of lessons that's that is just like hearing that like i see a relationship with your mom and i hear this about kirk because i love i remember i went up uh kurt and and goldie were at a party that i was at and they were just standing there and i just had seen this movie bone tomahawk oh yeah And I just had to because I'm a horror movie fan And I just go

Hey, you're beautiful I love you And Kurt, I just saw Bon Tomlock I love it You guys take care Have a nice evening I just wanted to say how I just I don't care

I'm like I'm not those actors Are like oh I won't say hi to someone Fuck you Why you're the business Right Because you're an actor Fuck you Right

Right Don't meet your fucking heroes Go say hi to your heroes Because you know You die tomorrow You can go fucking It's too cool Yeah

I fucking hate that And people were like Even I love Stern And Stern was on this morning It's like I don't need to go up to somebody I don't need to go up But you know, why do you?

Who does? Because why not? Yeah. Are you bothering them? Yeah. They're at a party just to say I love you. Yeah. Whatever.

Who gives a fuck? No, I agree. But your dad, when I say your dad, what am I supposed to say? That's it. I call him, we call him, we call him Pa. Yeah. So you're pa. Who I fucking adore.

He was so sweet. And I was walking away. He goes, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come here. Come here. Come here. Yeah, he goes, I love bone tomahawk, too. Let's talk about this.

No, really? Why did you like it? and I go because I thought it was really funny and then got explosively dark and I got caught up in these characters

I had no idea it was gonna have and we just started talking for like 20 minutes about this awesome and he was just so cool man that's actually interesting

because that doesn't sound like Kurt too much really? Oh yeah yeah yeah what would he have done in your eyes? Oh thank you that's the end of it

you know what I mean he wanted to talk about it that's interesting oh my God that's not that's not that's not like him Tell him, he won't watch this, but tell him, my buddy, who was just on his podcast. I'm telling you. He'll remember.

He said, he came up to you at a party like a year ago and just said, let's talk bone Tomahawk. And you sat there because he loved it so much and you talked about, I loved it too. Why did you love it? Yeah. What was it? And we talked about the splitting the guy in half. You saw it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck, man. That movie's intense. Yeah. Anyway, but I heard a story too that your dad, or Paul, Paul, you're driving. I just wanted a couple of little fun stories here. We've been real. We've been, you know,

but you know that you were driving with kate and your kurt's driving is this true your mom's driving you know what i'm going to say i don't yeah and uh there's a truck driver something cutting them off paint the picture yeah yeah yeah go ahead he we were in hawaii and he were just trying to get around this big semi-trial how old are you oh shit little boy yeah six seven no because why it was alive i think I was probably 12, I think, something like that. So you remember, it's vivid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

And he, he, the, the, the, the, um, the semi will not let us pass him. And he's doing it on purpose, right? So then Kurt goes over into the shoulder and then pat and then cuts in front of him. And now we come up to a stoplight. And the guy gets out of the car and who's driving the truck. And then Kirk gets out of. of the car and it doesn't even flinch no because i think that if something was going to go down you don't want to be in your car you want to be up and out so you know there's you have a better

chance he pulled over yeah well it's at the stoplight okay and the guy kurt's like look you know i'm with the family i was just trying to get by you you know diffusing the whole thing and the guy was just not having it you know sort of poking kurt doing little shoves big dude big like three plus 100-pound guy. Kurt went to go turn away just to get out of the situation. And the guy just clocks him. And of course, Kurt doesn't go down because his jaws made of a material that doesn't exist on the earth.

And he just lights him up. But he only goes to the body, which was really interesting. He went to the body and backed him up into his truck and then finished him off with the right hand to the face boom the guy I think he Kurt knocked a tooth out and he's looking up and laughing at him and he goes

Kurt Russell just knocked my teeth out and Kurt comes back to the car and we get in and we we cruise and that was that I heard obviously you know the story I thought he said I just got my tooth knocked out by Snake Pliskem oh maybe yeah one of the I thought I think it was Kurt Russell

But you saw him do this. Yeah. Could he throw punches? Oh, yeah. I think, Kurt could probably still beat me up. I mean. He probably beat anybody up. He's Kurt Russell.

He's, he's all you can handle. He's a tough man. Have you seen... But he's soft as shit, by the way. Have you seen him lose his temper? Yeah, of course. Yeah, he's my dad. You know what I mean?

Does he look like he does it like when he's in the movies? Or he gets that stern. Yeah. This is what's going to happen here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he taps into that shit. Oh, that's it. Favorite Kurt Russell movie.

That's it. Oh, God. there's so many I love backdraft for so many reasons oh yeah bro I cry every time I also love breakdown you ever see breakdown oh you got to see it it's a tight tight movie with J.T walsh he's in it Kurt plays a different kind of character sort of a like a how like a like a do good husband who's driving cross country and they break down and then it takes a really bad turn what about the thing of course dude those movies are incredible escape from escape from New York

the thing you know he's done I mean he's done I mean tombstone whenever tombstone's on I just can't stop watching and then by the way dude

overboard oh one of the best so fine it's like every time I'm crying every fucking time I cry yeah and it's your mom

yeah I know well because when she when the kids when she's leaving at the end in the limousine and the kids

are all banging on the window sort of saying mom where are you going and she's closing her ears because she can't hear it I'm like oh

fuck that's gnarly what's your favorite her uh goalie movie oh man i mean private benjamin um wild cats love wild cats i was a kid on i was there for wild cats oh yeah yeah i remember i would uh wesley snipes who i was like i think it was his first movie he we were he was my homie i mean wesley was the coolest dude and i would be on his shoulders running around thing and was Woody Harrelson and they were all like these newbie actors that was fun I was fun in Chicago that was dope hey real quick these are quick questions this is from some patrons yeah real quick Lisa what was it like being on the iconic Dawson's Creek because I think you did like 18 episodes right any stories something to say any quick story we do these rather quickly um I loved

it dude I loved it because I worked two days I had a house right on the beach I surfed every day and I met some really good friends there and Katie and Katie Holmes and I actually became good friends and that sort of peter out no we didn't make love i was with aaron at the time oh yeah good thing you didn't make love to her yeah lee stubbs i love to hate him on nashville how did you feel about getting killed off i didn't like it but it was a necessity i was lucky enough to be doing having i had to do another show so they literally had to kill me off they had no choice christine who was your favorite actor to work on scream queens uh i'm gonna say glen powell That's my boy.

Glenn Powell. I love Glenn, man. He's a good man. Danny, Oliver's work in lots of genres, drama, comedy, horror, documentary. Does he have a favorite type of role? Probably comedy. Dark. I like dark comedy.

Angel Harrington. I love the podcast you're doing with your sister. Any chance you'll work together in acting projects sometime soon? Yeah. It'll happen. Yeah? Matthew Jassow. Snake Pliskin or Jack Burton?

Jack Burton. Oh, by the way, that's the other one. Big Trouble and Little China. Oh, yeah. That's one of my favorites that Kurt has done. I mean, that movie, it's another John Carpenter movie, you know, anything John Carpenter does.

You know, I heard something where it was like Kurt Russell was, they were considering, I don't know if they had a table, I don't know if there's a true, table read or something for escape from New York. And they're like, it's just not, we got to change it, we got to make it more likable.

And he goes, I'm likable. Right. I'm Kurt Russell. Right. Don't worry. I'm like it. There's something true about that, though. Oh, hell yeah.

If you're likable, you can make anything. Yeah. I mean, look at Danny McBride, right? Oh, I love him and everything. He's a hard show. He's despicable. I mean, he's despicable. And he's bound and down.

He's despicable human. But I'm rooting for him every single time. And that's just because that's his nature. Mary Brockup, I'm sure you'll talk about what it was like growing up with Goldie Haunt. We did this, right? Home to America. I'm wondering about the series splitting up together as a husband and father himself. What did he think about the family dynamics in the series?

at all realistic? Yeah, that's why I loved it. I mean, it was my favorite thing that I've done because it actually touched upon something real, something that people were going through. When I was doing press and stuff and around, after the show aired, even, people come up to me like,

I'm going through this, or I have friends who are doing this. So it was, you know, that's real. I liked it for that reason, actually. Jill Eckhart, does he get free phabletics gear? So you and your sister did an athletic company, right? Well, it's hers, it's hers. It's hers.

But yes, yes, I do get free. stuff? Yeah, it's good. It's good. They have a men's line. They just launched a men's line. Would I look good in FlaBletics? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you work out? Flabletics. Karen Bennett, thinking back to childhood. Spade joke. Flamletics. It really was. What were some of your best memories of your family? I mean, probably going to Colorado is what you said, right?

What do you think? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my family, we're a tight, tight family. Very close. We all live within 10 minutes from each other still. Well, I'm glad. Thanks for allowing me to be inside of you.

today. Yeah, dude. You felt good. It did. It felt really good. It felt natural. Yeah. Really natural.

It was awesome. Maybe I'll ask him off. But if I totally, like, if I brought, gave you, like, a poster to get signed, do you do it right? Yeah, of course. Like if I say, hey, can you sign this fucking, like, the thing poster for a lot? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's easy. How many friends of you have done that?

Zero. Are you serious? Yeah. Then they're fucking pretend time. Yeah. Dude, 100%. That's so easy. So no one's ever done it.

So it's really not an in position. You mean, you fucking 10, 10, 10 per posters. Well, now that you said that, I'll probably get, you know... Like, seriously, get whatever ones that you want and... They don't care. They don't might care. That doesn't get the fuck. So, yeah, this is one of my good friends.

Michael, the Bone Tomahawk guy. All right. I might have him sign the Bone Tomahawk. Yeah. What a great movie, Ryan. You got to watch it. Dude, this has been great. I hope you'll have me on your show.

100% will come on. Sibling revelry. And what else is going? What's your, uh, I know you're not on Twitter. Not on Instagram. What's your handle? The Oliver Hudson. The Oliver Hudson.

Hudson and sibling revelry is at at sibling revelry yeah listen to his pocket listen how open wasn't how much fun and guys if you like someone like I like I mean look this is obviously you're gonna love this so give that a shot and subscribe to his show and Kate she's lovely come on with your brother it's gonna it'll be good there I can't wait yeah we'll fuck with your brother a little bit oh Jesus I love you buddy thanks love you too man I loved it what did you think what was your favorite thing about Oliver Hudson favorite thing about Oliver Hudson favorite thing about I mean, listening to him about that. It was really fun.

It was fun to talk. Not talk. I didn't talk at all. It was fun to. He was fun to listen to. Yeah. It was cutting it. And it was like,

there was no break. Yeah. Like it was constant. Like it was like an hour and a half. It's going to be shorter. But, you know. Yeah. And you listen.

You have to listen because you had it because you have to make it tight and get all the air out and all that bullshit. So you really listen to all the episodes. If there's one person who really listens, it's you. There was no air. I was trying to find. Because normally like I found like a halfway point. like okay this is where the conversation shifts it just like went it just went it just went very fluid very

very fluid very fluid so again guys thank you if you like this podcast many more great ones to come you could also revisit the old ones make sure you subscribe it's it's enormously helpful there's some big news coming up when i can announce it i will uh we're going to be rob dancing and i we do uh he's guitarist from left on laurel uh he and i are doing an album together we do stages once a month so look on my Instagram and all that stuff. There's great prizes and zooms and all that. And of course, Patreon. Thank you to all my patrons out there who make this show possible.

Couldn't do it without you. The stage at winners is Vicki Garcia, Lisa Jordan. Thank you. We play covers. We play originals. We play a couple of Laurel songs. Oh, and I'm doing the virtual. Thank you for coming to the, we did a fan expo virtual thing where fans can zoom me.

And there's one coming up. Make sure you're looking on my Instagram. and all that because Tom Welling and are going to be doing some duo zooms and more of these virtual conventions which are interesting and you know when you do a zoom with me it's always like well they say they're two minutes but I always press the next year you could there's a button you can press extra 10 seconds extra 10 seconds I feel like I'm more giving people twice their time half the time and they're like um can we go to the next one I'm like no I'm not done talking to John here so thank you again for listening thank you to everyone out there and uh you know I'm

I'm going to go ahead and read off the patrons, which I always do. Is there any way to make this interesting? Maybe we can come up with some interesting Patreon music, like a little guitar riff after this where we could play something and add it to this? Sure. Sure. Here are the patron shoutouts. Couldn't do it without you.

Nancy D. Mary B. Leah S. Trisha F. Sarah V. Little Lisa. U. Kiko. Jill E.

Brian H. Lauren G. Nico P. Barry I. Argentina. Well, my contacts are bad. Angelina.

G. Robin. S. Jerry W. Kevin R. Emily K. Bob B. Robert B. Jason W. Stephen J. Kristen K. Amelia O. Allison L. Tom and Jess N. Lucas M. Raj. Joshua D. Emily S. C. J.P. C.J.P. Samantha M. Humza. B. Jennifer N. St. B. C. C. C. L. Hamsa. B. Jennifer S. J. S. S. C. F. F. T. C. C. C. C. F. F. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. Chad W. Leanne P. Jackie P. Rodrigo. Rodriguez. Ration. Ration. Ration. Ray A. Maya, P. Megan D. Jennifer C. Maddie S. T. Tiffany I. Kendrick F. Ashley E. Margie M. Sigourney P. Thomas T. Matt W. Belinda. N. We're almost done. Benjamin R. Lisa J. Kevin V. Robert S. Joy W. Thanks everyone out there. This has been a joy to do. I want to keep doing this podcast. I do my best. I call every guest i get every guest uh hopefully i'm gonna get some help in a little while in a little in a little bit to help me get more guests but when people say can you get so and so on well i have to know them or know someone or i i i do my best i've called agents i've done that

thing and i'm like oh my god here i am i'm that guy hey you know and then sometimes calling guests like i was calling jensenackles again i'm jensen hey dude it's rosy again hey and then then he needs me i was with dude dude i'm so sorry blah blah and i thought you know he's like he's probably ignore he's probably fuck off i think i just emailed karen gillen again you know she's probably oh god it's like shut the fuck up you know but like i got to try i love doing this and it helps people and i'm gonna fucking keep doing it sorry for the fums ryan anything you got going on uh no no well you know i'm glad you're doing this so thank you yeah all right guys thank you for allowing me to be inside each and every one of you uh till next time uh you know just take care of yourself

do the best you can wear a mask. Be respectful. Hi, I'm Joe Saul-Chi, host of the stacking Benjamin's podcast. Today, we're going to talk about what if you came across $50,000. What would you do? Put it into a tax-advantaged retirement account. The mortgage. That's what we do. Make a down payment on a home. Something nice. Buying a vehicle. A separate bucket for this edition that we're adding. $50,000, I'll buy a new podcast. You'll buy new friends. And we're done.

Thanks for playing everybody. We're out of here. Stacky Benjamin's follow and listen on your favorite platform.