Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Peacemaker’s STEVE AGEE: Pulled Out of a Pit

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

Steve Agee (Peacemaker, Sarah Silverman Program) joins us this week to talk about the ups and downs of his career in Hollywood as a character actor, and how James Gunn helped pull him from a pit during the worst year of his life with his recurring role as John Economos on Peacemaker. Steve lays out the entire origin story of his acting experience going from aspiring musician, to hopeful marine biologist, to satisfied Starbucks employee, and even to his time working the circuit of popular 2000’s reality television post production. We also talk about how Sarah Silverman saved his life in more ways than one, working with Jimmy Kimmel, and his experience with denial through the Groundlings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I did. You turned 34. 34 years old. Happy birthday again. I wish happy birthday on YouTube or write a review of the show today and include Ryan if you want, you know. The end of a demographic. Yeah. This episode is dedicated to my good buddy Preston.

Preston Christensen. He was a 16-year-old boy that I met at the Ronald McDonald's house. I met him and his mom, and we became good friends. And, you know, I watched him go through chemo and I watched him go through high and lows. And ultimately, cancer beat him. And it's been really tough. And I just wanted to say, without getting emotional, that he meant a lot to me and he made me a better person. and he affected a lot of people in a good way.

And so this episode is dedicated to Preston. Also, if you want to follow us on the Instagram and Twitter, Ryan, how do they do that? They go to at Inside Abepod on Twitter, At Inside of a podcast on Facebook and Instagram. That's exactly right. Please leave a review. It really helps. Go on YouTube. You can watch clips as well in old episodes.

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We'll read the top-tier patrons at the end of the episode. Right now, this is a good buddy of mine, Steve Agee. Stand-up comic actor. He was in a band. He was in a punk band. But, you know, I'm from Suicide Squad, Peacemaker, which is blown up. And he deserves all of it. He's such a great guy.

and I just, you know, when your friends get some success, that makes you happy. It really does. And I always, it was always rooting for this guy. Just such a talented guy, a treat to be around. And when peacemaker hit, I just was like, yes. It's so nice to see that. Good things happen to good people. They do.

So without further ado, let's just do it. I think you're going to really find this episode interesting, even if you don't know Steve Agee. Let me know what you. think. Let's get inside of Steve Agee. It's my point of view. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. You asked me about the thing and escape from New York posters in my room?

the thing in particular but yeah i didn't even realize that was escape from new york from the angle that i'm sitting yeah and you're you're wondering how i got it autographed so i know oliver hudson which you know kurt raised him kurt russell yeah and uh he was on the podcast and he made the mistake of saying oh yeah i go do your friends ever asked for autographs he's like no i go really they never ask you for kurt's autograph for goldie he's like no they don't I go he goes why do you do you want one I go fuck yeah if you're asking and he goes whatever you want whatever you want how many things did you have a monogre i had him signed the thing escape from new york uh what's the overboard with goldie over yeah it's somewhere but it took a while it took

a while to get those like i had to harass oliver for a while to get those i felt kind of bad but i was like at the end of the day i don't give a shit is you have people sign your bobbleheads no i don't have that that would be that if i got into that it would be starting to get weird yeah right rosenbaum's having them sign bobbleheads yeah i already think it's a little you know people think it's a little weird that i get autographs i don't think it's weird did you already have the posters or did you buy them once you found out you could get them that one those two i found out that he would sign them i spent 350 dollars on each of them original posters i want the original they look like come on it's kurt russell you got fucking kurt russell up there so anyway i like it and now you have

have it and then what well you can get what's his name to sign him now John Carpenter John Carpenter oh wouldn't that be great I've been trying to get him on the podcast you know John

no but you know the guys in Tenacious D John Kineski and John Spiker who are the backing band for Tenacious yeah I don't know them they they tour with John Carpenter when he does his music are you serious Have you seen that that's amazing no

he does all the hits do do do the Halloween escape from New York Escape from New York yeah Boom boom yeah Boom boom That was so he just plays that Those two chords for an hour and a half Boom boom

Yeah and then the rest of the man just wails Just wail Yeah Oh my God Agee Steve Agee You know what I love I've known you for a while Yeah

How long have I known you? Probably since I met James Probably over at Sean Guns Sunset Sunday So probably 10 years 12 years something like that yeah and talk about like someone who you've gone from i'd say rock bottom or low low low sure you've been in low places in your life and now boom people would say

oh look he's overnight show in the world is it the number one show in the world it is yeah wait a minute peacemaker on HBO max is the number one show in the world now tv show yeah how does it feel it's a it doesn't register no james posted like a you know a deadline clip of that and i was like it doesn't feel like it's the number one show because i'm still hiding from covid in my house and anytime i go out i'm wearing a mask so it's not like anyone would recognize me so it's like okay that's great i mean it's good we'll hopefully get a second season so yeah i don't know how we wouldn't do you want to get recognized are you looking forward honest because a lot of actors say no no I like obscurity.

I like obscurity, but every now and then if someone, like if you go into a Starbucks and you buy coffee and, you know, the guy will write, dye beard on your, there's a reference to piecemaker. But if they, you know, every now and then it's like, oh, just because you know, people are watching the show. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I mean, it's crazy because you have, like, worked in this business for a long time. I mean, you've done stand up.

Yeah. I mean, you're a musician, which I've never seen you. play what do you play bass yeah do you still play sometimes i have all the stuff and i just tinker around in my office but you're pretty good though you've been in bands i have been in bands do you want to do it again i don't think so why with bands you have to rely on other people i came to l.a though i came to l.a to be in a band i went to the musicians institute to study theory Oh, so you're good. I was good.

I think. I'm really rusty. My fingers are weak and, you know. Fingers are weak. But yeah, I came to L.A. I was playing in a band. And once I got here, I was like, Jesus, there's like a trillion bands in L.A. What was the band called?

The Grazers. The grazers. Yeah. Like, where did that come from? I don't know. I don't remember whose idea of it was. We made shirts that was like a, a bull with a ring in its nose, you know, like grazing, like a cow.

And you would play, you'd play out a lot. Our first gig ever was the whiskey. Were you nervous? No, I think I was really cocky. Really? I was like, these songs are fucking great. Let's, so when I was in college, my roommate was just, would just stick around at parties with like a cover band with his friends who were also in

school with us and then just like in the movie what's the movie where tom hanks manages a band that thing you do the thing you do yeah so much like that where the drummer breaks his you know giovanni rabisi breaks his wrist and then uh what's his name takes over as drummer and then the band takes off so their bass player broke his arm and tim my roommate was like hey man you want to get just come jam with us we we usually rehearse on Sunday, and I was like, sure. And I went, and we just started dicking around, and we just started writing songs, like, quick, like punk,

like two-minute songs. So you like punk. That was kind of like the band. Kind of, yeah, yeah. Like Buzzcocks type stuff. And, like, in one day, we wrote, like, four or five, just really dumb, quick, but fun songs. And I was like, we should be playing.

We should be playing. What are we doing? I was like, that fast. That fast, because we had enough. covers. And then I was like, we should be playing somewhere. And so I went back to the dorm and I got out the LA Weekly. And I started just looking at clubs and calling clubs going, Jesus, leaving messages going, hey, my band would love to play at your club. And most of the places did not call back. The first guy that called back was a guy, I'll never forget his name, Mike Gianreco. He was like

a promoter or a booker. Right. He called me back. He's like, can you play at the whiskey in three weeks? I was like, sure. Yeah. And then I called all the guys and I was like, well, we have a show at the whiskey. And they were all like, uh, what? And then it was like every day we started rehearsing.

You just rehearsed every day. You got really tight in three weeks? More songs. Yeah. And what was the response? His thing was like, can you get people to come to the show? Right. Still to this day, I think that's the thing.

If you go in there, you have to. bring X amount of people to see your show. And we brought like every one of our friends and it was packed. And it was and the guy was like, yeah, I booked the, the Roxy too. You want to do the, like, so we were playing a bunch and it was awesome. And you're getting a name at all? Not really. No, just playing and enjoy it.

Locally in Riverside, we would, a bunch of people would come see us. Were you thinking this was going somewhere? I was, yeah. I was like, this is it. I'm going to be a rock star. And then I moved to L.A. and I was like, I'm never going to be a rock star. Because you have to, you, it's not just you. It's like, you have to have it.

Your singer, your guitar player, your drum, they all have to have, you know, the motivation to get up. And these guys were all, you know, Tim went on to be a pastor or singer. The guitar player Thomas became a nurse. He lives in like Tennessee, I think. And Nate, I think, is a lawyer or drummer. Like, they all had their own.

This was for fun. right and you you didn't think that way no I was like I don't know what else I'm gonna do I was an art major I was how old are you this point 21 and where'd you go to school Loma Linda University it's in Riverside Riverside and I was like this beats pretending to be a painter and lie my way through painting class trying to you know right justify the critiques of my paintings which were horrible I just did abstract because I was like I I can lie my way through this. Right. But you're a really good photographer. You've worked at that. Yeah, but that wasn't until... It came way later.

In my 30s when digital became a thing. I had no patience for film. Yeah, and you weren't really acting to what, 2007 or something? I had done some commercials in, like, late 90s, just a few. You were more of a behind-the-scenes guy. Yeah, I worked in post-production. A Kimmel? You worked on Kimmel?

that was 2003 from 90s till like 2003 i was working post-production on real world road rules osborns temptation island survivor joe millionaire not survivor oh you were um but tons of reality shows that's how what were you just doing behind the scene stuff like editing and like assistant editing and assistant story editing and logging videotapes did you hate it or did you really like it no i hated it but it's it's one of those jobs you know it's like the mob where it's like once you're in it's like i'm sick of working on the osborns i know a guy that works on temptation island i'm gonna go there really you can just hop jump ship yeah yeah everyone does it yeah they just get tired of something and they move on to the next reality show but when did you

say you know because at that point in your life you're not really playing music as much anymore right And now you're working behind the scenes. Were you thinking this is going to be my life? Working behind the scenes? I still didn't know, man. I was at groundlings too. I was taking classes at groundlings in the mid and late 90s. Just for fun?

No, I wanted to be on SNL. This was when the band stuff was dying. Like I came to L.A. in 95 and quickly the band just broke up. And I was the only one. My girlfriend broke up with me. And I was just living in L.A. myself didn't know anybody and I started dating a girl who was taking classes at the groundlings this was like 96 right and I went to a show and I was like what what this is what

this is what I should be doing who did you see at the show do you remember anybody who made it big um I think Mindy Sterling was in that show Mindy who you know is frau farbisina in the Austin Powers movies right um I think Mike Mike Hitchcock who you would know from like a bunch of you know that name yeah you know but not like will feral anybody like that no in fact when i started taking classes i remember one of my first classes the teacher saying oh yeah like two of our two of our own have just gone over to s andl and it was will feral and aghastar or will feral and sherry sherry oh terry yeah so maybe all three of them so you had i don't want to say delusions of grandeur but like you you thought you think it'd be a rock star you're a bass player

You're like, I'm, I've got this. You've got a confidence. You're cocky. You said you're cocky. And now you're in Groundlings. Are you having that same kind of cockiness that you're like, I'm going to fucking be on SNL or I'm going to do this? Oh, yeah.

I feel like most people, there's two types of people that go to the groundlings. Once you are like convinced they're going to be on SNO, I want to go to S&O, that's it. You're not even thinking mad TV. You're like, I'm going for SNO. Who wants to go mad TV? Or, I mean, at the time, sure, I would have loved to. or people who are just trying to come out of their shells or who are like bosses at an office

and they need to be able to express themselves. So they want to just kind of do improv so they can think on their feet and company meetings and stuff. I was like, and I remember when I was like 18 or 19, I called the Groundlings office. This is from Riverside because I knew they had a bunch of people on SNL who were from Groundlings or Second City.

And I wasn't going to go to Chicago or Toronto. So I called the Groundlings Theater, just cold called them. Like, I was probably 19. And a woman answered, and she's like, Groundlings Theater. And I go, hey, how do I? I want to be in your theater. I want to be in your company. She's like, okay, well, you have to sign up for classes.

And you start at the beginner level. I did that. I took it. I did too. And she goes, and she's like, so there's four levels of classes and I go, what? I go, how much are these? And she's like, like, $250 for something like that. And I go, oh, so you guys are a scam.

I literally, I was like, oh, so you guys are scamming people out of their money. I go, no, thanks. I can figure this out on my own. And I just hung up. And it wasn't to like almost like 80. or nine years later that I went and I was like oh yeah all these people they had to do this they all had to pay yeah Lorraine Newman went through class the groundlings and like Jesus well she didn't go through she was a founding member but like you know I just read something uh in Judd Apato's book he has a new book

he read the old one right or I know what was that called sick sick in the head sick in the head yeah sicker in the head so I got a preview and I was reading the Will Ferrell uh interview and he just like he was at USC and he was you know he didn't really know what he said I'm going to try comedy three years of groundlings SNL yeah for someone yeah and he had no fear because his dad was like he's like you know what I don't know I've never really done comedy he's like well you know most people you'll probably fail at it but so why not do it why not you can probably fail you'll find something else to do yeah so he figured fuck it and that was kind of his mentality yeah but what were you doing were you thinking I'm going to be somebody here so I never had a plan all

knew was when I was about nine years old, I got for either Christmas or for my birthday, they're both fairly close. I got a transistor radio that had a mono earplug. And when my parents would make me go to bed at night, I would listen to KMET, 94.7, which was the, the rock station in all of Southern California. They were syndicated. Well, now it's 94-7. The wave. the way hey no it used to be the shit and um i still like him and sunday nights they had dr demento um and i would lay in bed listening to dr demento as a nine and ten year old kid and it's how i was exposed to carlin to weird al to cheech and ch just every aspect of comedy like from parody songs to stand up to sketches it was all there on dr demento and

I wanted to be a comedian and also I wanted to be an actor. And this was at like 10. I knew that at 10 and 11. I just didn't know how to do it. I grew up in a family where there were, there was nobody in the arts. Nobody was funny. Nobody. Everyone was a doctor or, you know, in business or something. And I, I thought you had to be born into that world. And so I was like, just, I know, never made a plan. I just knew I wanted to do that. Like, John Ritter was my idol. Wow. John Ritter and George Carland. That was it. Those were the gold standards for me. And it wasn't until I got to L.A. and I was like, oh, I can be in the groundlings. I just have to go through classes and prove myself. And that's, it was really the groundlings in the late 90s where I was

like, I think I can actually do what I wanted to do, you know. It's so weird because knowing you, I don't think of you as someone back then who was just so cocky, because you're such a humble dude. You're so quiet, you're kind of you're just fun, you're smart, people like to be around you. I think that's why, you know, your friendship with

James and all of us just kind of blossom. But I don't picture this guy who's just like, I'm going to do that, I'm going to be an actor, I'm going to, I'm going to be a comedian, I'm going to be a rock star, I'm going to, like, you were a bit of a go-getter. I did it very lazily. Like, I was, explain.

I had to, I wasn't actively going into these, I was like finding them. Like, you know, I went to high school and then when I graduated, all my friends were going to college. I didn't want to go to college. My parents wanted me to. All my friends were there. So I was like, I guess I got to go to college. And all my friends were at this place, Lomalinda University, because they wanted to be doctors. It was primarily a place where you study, you know, pre-med.

Right. Right. And so I went wanting to be a marine biologist. I know I'm all over the place, dude. I figured since I don't know how to become an actor or a comedian, I'll be a marine biologist because I spent a lot of time, you know, we had a cabin on Catalina Island when I was a kid. And so we would boat back and forth. I spent a lot of time in the ocean, scuba diving, snorkeling. I was like, I could be a marine biologist. they don't have a program at Loma Linda, but I could go get all my biology prerequisites and then I can transfer to like Long Beach State or something. And you did that initially? I was a biology major, my first year of college, and I failed every single class hard.

Why? Because it's biology, dude. They don't start. I was like, I wanted to swim with fish and like hold onto a dolphin's fin. and get dragged through the water. That's what I thought marine biology was. Just go to the aquarium, for God's sake.

I didn't know that you, to do that shit, you have to start off on the cellular level of biology. Oh, doesn't that. I feel like they should start you off on a larger level, like, this is a mammal, it breathes, it has milk, you know, this is a fish, you know, right. And then work your way down. As you get older in school,

you can retain that kind of shit and you figure, okay, I want to keep doing this. I want to learn the cellular stuff. Not like, here you go, 18 year old, learn about mitochondria and. Cilia.

Yeah, silly. I was just like, nope, I checked out. I would sit and look at the teacher talking and not retain one fucking word out of their mouth. So what's going through?

I would sit and make jokes in my head. I had a teacher, his name was host. Zay. Everyone called him bys. I, in my head, kept calling him Hose B. And I was like, I couldn't let go of comedy. Like, and I failed my first semester. And then my best friend Sam was at school there. And he was a photography major because they had an art department. He's like, dude, just be an art major. It's fucking easy. He's like, I've seen you doodle and you, you know, and I was like, yeah, I'll be an art major. And so I just got an art degree. Really? Was that easy? Super easy. To get an art degree.

Yeah. The hardest part was I still had to do like basic classes, you know, like an English class and yeah, stuff. So you got by. I got by. It should have been four years. I did in like five or six years. Yeah, I did four and a half or something. But yeah. But while I was in college, that's when the band thing happened. It's when my mom gave me a clipping that she found in the local paper of like open mic night for stand-up comedy. Your mom? My mom, she knew I loved comedy. She's like, you should do this. And you did that? And I did it. Wait a minute. So she gives you this little clipping. And they said, no, five minutes. Is that what it was? Something like five minutes? Yeah, something really cool, like three to five minutes. It was super easy. It was super easy. So I wrote up like

three to five minutes bullshit in my way through it and I was like this was great it's an open mic there's not a ton of people so I would just do that once in a while I still didn't put put it together that like oh if you do this a bunch of times you get the experience and you develop a voice and you write more material and you're a comedian like I didn't put that together I was just like oh that was fun I'll just do three to five minutes every couple months yeah and then my mom also sent me a clipping for auditions for a local, like the local theater company in Riverside was doing a Christmas carol. And I went, my mom's like, you should audition for this. And I went and I was like, that was terrifying to me. Auditioning for real audition, actor audition. Yeah, I had no

experience. I just show up at this theater. Every stereotypical theater snob you can imagine was there. And it's like, you know, it's like local like community. theater people right and uh i was given some sides i don't even remember what i read for and then the director called me that night she's like you were great she goes i want i i don't want you to do that part that part was she's like i want you to be jacob marley who's like the first he's like uh scrooge's dead partner yeah it's a big part yeah that was my first acting gig and i was what year 98 or 99 and did you kill it did you love it did you did you

I love it I loved it you loved it you love going on stage every day I love interacting with the audience or who's that it's Siri I don't know why she does this Siri shut up hey Siri shut up by the way I didn't even say Siri and she just started talking By the way, I once said Alexa was Hitler a good man, and Alexa said something in a kind of a roundabout way. I mean, it was kind of like, really? Yeah. But I'm sure it was a mistake. Inside of you is brought to you by Quince.

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your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum in the survey so they know that I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show. all right so you're doing this you do the play you like it yeah you're done with the band at this point no i'm still doing the you're still doing the band went off now you're acting and you're starting to do stand-up comedy yeah so you're doing all these things and you're having a good time but you're not making a lot of money it no no it's and it's mostly band stuff and when i first come to i'm working at starbucks and then i start taking classes at the groundlings that's all the music stuff

stopped. And I had a teacher, Melanie Graham, who was in the main company at the Groundlings, amazing woman. She was like, you don't want to be working at Starbucks studio. And it's like, no, fucking, of course not. But I got a bill space. She's like, she was a writer on the real world, a story editor. And she's like, I can get you a job at Buda Murray. It'll be like watching videotapes and entering info. And I was like, yeah, I'll take it. And that's what got me. into reality TV and I would every now and then through the groundlings get an audition for like a commercial were you pretty happy at this point where you uh yeah you were there was a good part of your

life I met people at the groundlings that I'm still super incredibly tight with people who've I've worked with now who um are now like huge stars and like we were just kids in our 20 who are those people like my Rudolph and I were in oh you're close with my Yeah, Maya and I were in classes. I have a photo I'll show you of me and Maya sitting on stage at the groundlings and we look like 15 year olds. We look like babies. Wow. And yeah, Will Forte was there when I was there. And you went through the whole program. I did all the classes. Now, you do all, there's a basic class and it's just improv. That's what I took. Then there's an intermediate class, which is just improv. Then there's a writer's lab, which they teach you how to write

sketches and the writer's lab at i think six to twelve weeks of doing it you put on a show of the sketches you've written and then and you did that did that great loved it mike mcdonald was my teacher from man from some back in a different i should say mike yeah michael mcdonald he was uh on mad tv um he was my teacher and then mindy sterling was my advanced teacher and um and um then for advance you do improv and sketch comedy you write for six weeks to a show right for six more weeks do a show and the groundlings main company members have to come and watch both your shows and then they vote like yeah let's move them up to the sunday company where you do shows every sunday and okay i did not make it into the sunday company and i didn't crush because you were in with

all these people they liked you your friends with them all you're working hard i was working at the theater also at this point. I was working in the box office. I was videotaping shows. I was that theater was my life for like four years. Do you know who rejected you? No, but let me tell you this. I don't know if this is, this is how it happened. So they have to vote on you. The only company members that can vote are ones that have seen both the advanced shows. The night of our second show, there was a bomb threat on Melrose Avenue and we had to cancel the show and reschedule it for the next night. Most of the company members couldn't come the next night. So I think only like two or three people voted on our shows. And I think there were people that were not thrilled with the fact that

I was a student, but already hanging out with everybody backstage and like too familiar. That's what I think. And you were crushed. Crushed. I had no other plans. I was like, So what did you do from there? I mean, what can you do at that point? I just kept working in reality TV. But Groundlings kind of, it was over? It was done. I mean, I was-

Couldn't you go back and try again? No, no. What? It was like, you've done the whole program. There's no need for you to do it again, Steve. Sorry, good luck. Because you asked. Yeah, I was just crushed.

Mindy, who had to call me to tell me, I was the last person in the class that she called, because she was dreading it called me crying she knew how fucking much it meant to me and did you cry oh yeah yeah i had to get off the phone really quick because i didn't want her to hear me crying okay thanks so much yeah okay cool thanks mindy hung up and i was like sobbing i was like what do what the next day i woke up and i was like i can't go to the groundlings to hang out or watch show what the fuck do i do so i did show like my class we did shows like on theater row on Santa Monica Boulevard like Maya and myself and

so you'd still do shows yeah but just not at the groundlings but I think they really liked me there and so every now and then they would do these benefit shows at the groundlings called the trash show and it was a show they'd do like once a year all the all the proceeds would go to repairs on the theater and stuff like that and the trash show it's called take out the trash I think is nothing but politically incorrect sketch comedy the worst most horror if you can imagine it it's 10 times worse than what you can imagine like it wouldn't go today it wouldn't fly today I think they still do them it probably it offends a lot of people it would offend a lot of people and most of the people that went to these shows were just students like

Because they would find out they're doing a trash show. Tickets are going on sale tomorrow. They'd sell out in like two minutes. So it was mostly students. Right. And they would let me come do those shows. So Maya and I would write a lot of fucked up sketches for those shows. Right.

And that kind of kept me going a little bit. Right. But you probably, because I know you and I have talked about this. We'll take a sip of your coffee. Okay. Thank you. But I know that we both, you know, we've had a little depression in our lives. Sure.

anxiety in our lives when did the first depression or anxiety start hitting you high school high school you started dealing with that yeah i got sent to military school i got kicked out of high school and my parents didn't know what to do to me do with me or to me i i had a little taste for the booze in high school i loved when i was a freshman two seniors took me out and got me drunk and it changed my life it made me not shy i had talked to girls I would kiss girls. I was like, alcohol is amazing. And I really took to booze and like I became an alcoholic.

I don't want to say alcoholic because I literally stopped when I was like 18 or 19. It was like, I think I'm done. And I never had an urge. Really? I just knew that when I was a teenager and shy and terrified of talking to people, that got me through it. But I really leaned heavily on it. And so my parents didn't know what to do with me. So they sent me to military school.

The school where they filmed Taps, Valley Forge Military Academy, Wayne, Pennsylvania. And they straighten you up, straighten you out? You know, in high school I was, I favored the booze when I went to military school. you're subject to daily inspections because it's like the military. Right. And so it became a lot easier to hide drugs in your... Oh, so you started doing drugs in military school.

Yeah, mostly like weed and like mushrooms. Right. And stuff like... You aren't powdering your nose or anything. No. I tried all that stuff, but I didn't like it. I like hallucinogenics and weed. I loved weed and, you know, hash.

but I remember specifically one day in military school I was walking down the hallway in the dorm two of my friends were wrestling they were play wrestling and one of the guys lifted up the other one off his feet and they both fell backwards and one of the guys hit his head on the corner of a cinder block doorway and split his head wide open

and I can still see it to this day in my head like you know barracks and stuff in the military it's all that lime green so i just remember the stark contrast of bright red blood coming out of this guy's head onto a lime green floor like it is burned into my mind and later that night i was at dinner and i was eating my food and all of a sudden i couldn't swallow like and that's not a memory reflect that's like an involuntary like it's like breathing you shouldn't have to think right you don't think about swallowing and all of a sudden i couldn't swallow and i was trying to make myself swallow and i couldn't i was having what i later years later figured out was a panic attack it just that's how it manifests and you think it was

because that triggered it seeing all the blood and everything that's what triggered it i think that that at 17 years old was the first time i realized oh i'm gonna die someday and it doesn't matter if I'm 80, which I hope that's, you know, much later. I hope I die when I'm much later. But I could die when I'm 17. And it really kicked everything off for me as far as my big problem has always been panic and anxiety disorder mixed with some depression. And it started there.

17, yeah. And so it worked its way through. So did you get, did you end up getting, go to therapy and get on anything? or you fought through it. Not until I was 30. I didn't start therapy. 30. I thought I was losing my mind, my whole teenage in college.

I understand, man. I didn't know that this was common. My girlfriends didn't know that I had this shit going on, panic attacks, because I was really good at hiding it. I once had a panic attack. This was in college from a 30-minute flight from Sacramento to Burbank with my girlfriend, from her parents' house. And I climbed over the seats as we were taking off. I was freaking out.

So I thought I was having a heart attack. Climed over the seats. My girlfriend's like, what are you doing? I was like, I think I'm going to shit my pants. I didn't have to take a shit. Did the whole plane hear this? Yeah, but when you're having a panic attack, you don't care. You don't care about anything.

And I just made a beeline right to the bathroom. And I stayed in the bathroom the entire flight. until I felt a touchdown and the flight attendants were like, hey, sir, I was like, I cannot come out and they can't make you. Did you say you're having anxiety attack? No, because I didn't know it was an anxiety attack. You didn't know it was. I thought I was dying.

And this was happening all the time. And you're 30 years old and still not understanding what's going on. At that point, I was about 24. But this was going on. And then I remember talking to a friend, you know, I'd been at House of Pott. this is like when I was like 29 or 30 and uh what's house of pies it's that restaurant on oh yeah yeah yeah you know it's like a Denny's right right um and I was with some friends having dinner and I had a panic attack and I immediately just and I never explained it to my

friends I would just get up and leave and they'd be like uh where are you going and I was I would just bolt and later I'd be like oh I I uh I forgot something in my car. You know, I would just make up an excuse. And it was always believable. And the next day I was at a friend's house. And I go, last night, I go, I was in this fucking restaurant. I thought I was dying.

My heart was racing. And I started sweating. And as soon as I left the restaurant, it stopped. He goes, yeah, idiot, that's a panic attack. And I go, what? He goes, that's a panic attack. He goes, I get them all the time. I was like what and then once I started talking about it with him I immediately felt a lot better and I started asking all my friends I was like do you get panic attacks yeah and many of them had one yes I that does feel good when you know that you're not alone that's a huge thing I I hate that any of my friends have to deal with it yep I called you about yeah my anxiety but I also love that I'm not

not alone. You know what I mean? And it wasn't until I was about in my 30s and I think I was 29 or 30 when I got booted out of groundlings. And my girlfriend at the time was like, you got to go see a therapist. And I was like, why? I have the best life. I go, I have great family. I'm awesome. My parents are great. I go, it's just this groundling thing. She's like, go, she's like, I'm sick of listening to you complain about this. I did it to. humor. I went to a therapist. I made an appointment. I sit down in the chair. I'm thinking, this is going to be bullshit. She comes in. She's like, hey, Steve, I'm Dr. So-and-so. I'm like, hey, and she's like, how do you feel about all this? I was like, I think it's pretty

pointless. I go, everything seems great, you know, other than, you know, groundling's kicking me out. She goes, what's your family like? I immediately just started bawling. like what it literally i was just like and it i the hour went by so fast i was like can we do another hour can we just keep talking she's like no it doesn't work that way just come back next week why did you get so emotional i don't remember but it was like just somebody asking me about myself and you know me being forced to talk about shit like was just opening a floodgate and i saw this therapist for years and years and years really helped you help me tremendously didn't help

with the panic attacks i mean a little bit she gave me like breathing exercises and stuff but it was it was after i quit reality tv and i quit like i had a panic attack in when i was working on joe millionaire and i just walked out of the office never went back they were calling me they're like, hey, are you coming back? And I just wouldn't answer the phone. I didn't leave my house. I was living with like three people in a house. Didn't walk out my door for like months. I was too afraid. I would have panic attacks every time I left. And one night I went to a 7-Eleven at three in the morning. Because if I had to leave to get food or money, I would do it in the middle of the night because I didn't want to be around crowds. And I remember going to a 7-Eleven just to get something to eat.

and I drove up into the parking lot and I look in and there's one person in there shopping and I couldn't get out of my car until they left the building. Are you serious? I was so, and then I was like, oh, I have a huge fucking problem.

And I started crying. I called Sarah Silverman, who I had met, you know, a few years earlier. And she's like, dude, this is completely normal. She goes, no, it's not. No, she goes, millions of people suffer. Oh, yes. This is normal.

No, everybody waits for the last guy to lead to 7-Eleven. Once he's out, it's good. That's what you all experience that. No, but I understand what you're saying. She goes, you're having a panic attack. She's like, that's normal. She goes, you need medication. She's like, I think, she's like, do you see a therapist?

I go, yeah. She's like, you need medication. And she gave me the name of her doctor and took everything I had to drive in the middle of a day to an office in Century City and sit in there and talk to this woman, she prescribed me Lexa Pro, and I started taking Lexa Pro. It was a little tired for a few days, but within two weeks, I was like back going out, doing stand-up. Changed your life.

Changed my life. This was like 2002 or 2003. Are you still on Lexapro? Yeah. Stayed on it since then. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's working. So you really don't get depressed all that much?

I mean, we all get depressed. I get normal depressed. Like, you know, I'll get sad. But she didn't give you anything for the anxiety. She gave you things for the depression. Lexapro is used. It's for anxiety disorders. It is.

And depression. Okay, I've never taken that one. Yeah, it's good. Wow. Ever wonder how dark the world can really get? Well, we dive into the twisted, the terrifying, and the true stories behind some of the world's most chilling crimes. Hi, I'm Ben. And I'm Nicole.

Together we host Wicked and Grimm, a true crime podcast that unpacks real-life horrors one case at a time. With deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink to take the edge off, we're here to explore the Wicked and Reveal the Grim. We are Wicked and Grim. Follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform. So Sarah Silverman got you. Saved my life. Saved your life.

You also did a show with her. Career-wise and emotionally. Career-wise, why did Sarah Silverman? save your career. After I had quit, after I'd quit reality TV, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go back to working in a coffee shop. Sarah and I had gotten on medication, Sarah called me one day and said, Jimmy, she was dating Jimmy Kimmel at the time. She's like, Jimmy's doing a talk show now. She goes, they don't even have a name for this position, but they need someone to do research to just watch TV and find funny clips

for him to make fun of in the monologue. I was like, I'll take that. I'll sit in an office and watch TV for 10 hours a day. So I did that. That was kind of miserable just because you're watching, you're watching The View. You're watching the 700 Club. TV you wouldn't watch.

Yes, you're looking for funny things to make fun of, you know, um, you know, home shopping. networking network stuff like that right that's what i was doing it was driving me crazy i couldn't watch tv when i got home at night because i just didn't want to but i stuck around because i wanted to be a writer i was like i think i can be a writer and i let jimmy know and as soon as there was an opening like he made me a writer like he was the best wow he seems like a good guy i don't think we had a very

similar sense of humor i think i was probably on my way to being fired you know i would pitch a lot of stuff that dark yeah or just like really out there like out just like weird weird sketch ideas and stuff and he's like no and i think i was on my way to being fired um but then sarah got her the sarah silverman program yeah her pilot for comedy central she wrote a part for me that happened and i quit jimmy show you know all on good terms i still love jermis the best and um how long did you do the sarasilo program for from like 2007 i think we shot the pilot in 2006 you got picked up early 2007 i think and we shot until like 2010 wow so it was a pretty good run like three seasons yeah and you got paid a lot of money

no comedy central they don't pay anything the worst the worst they don't pay anything they don't pay anything But I was able to make a living, you know, and make a show with all my friends. I was friends with all those people through Sarah already. And it was, that was my first, like, acting, real acting job. And I was like, oh, this is easy. Really? Just do a show with your friends? Yeah, okay.

I mean, that's the life, isn't it? Then when it ended, it's like, oh, I guess I'm a character actor and I'll do an occasional, you know, episode of New Girl and stuff. what you did which i did and i did it for years and years i mean it's how how much of a struggle is that being a character actor kind of because you were sort of like for a while dependent on your next job like you were yeah it wasn't like you were sitting there with riches going oh i don't have to worry for three years you were thinking like i can get by for another two months yes and it was i did all right at it as a character actor um because a lot of those jobs turned into recurring parts you know like i had a recurring part on new girl um you're the worst super store um speech there was a point

not not too long ago where i was recurring on like four or five different shows so i'd do three episodes of super store three episodes of new girl a couple episodes of year of the war so it was like it was pretty good for a couple years you know right i mean were you at this point happy would you said? Yeah, yeah. You were. Yeah, yeah. Because you hit a lull after that, right? Yeah, peaks and valleys. There would be times where it was like, I'm glad I'm living in an apartment with low rent because this is getting a little dicey. And then you, yeah, you do like 10 episodes of, you know, three different shows. You'd be like, oh, I guess I'm good for the rest of this year. And did you have an agent who stuck with you for all these years?

or did you kind of bounce around i had a i have a manager that i've been with for quite a while and she's been great and she's you know she's left different places that she's been with and i've always gone with her and i'm still with her and she's great you know you did what was a guardians galaxy two james cashew and guardians galaxy two so we we did we did i was in that too yeah we were in we were in that together we were also in the movie hit and run together yeah dax's no scenes together No scenes together. Dax puts me in like everything and it's, but it's always like the mechanic. You're the idiot who comes in and says one dumb thing as he drives away and it's hot rod.

Right, right. But, you know, there you go. Yeah, I appreciate it. So what was that like? Did you have to audition for Guardians or did James just say, hey, you want to play this character? No, he was just like, it's a small part. It's, you're a ravager. James likes to work with his friends, as you know.

You know, he's, you know, he may not always cast his friends as, like, big, huge parts, but, like, he'll fill a movie with, like, his friends in smaller parts here and there. I just remember being on set of Guardians 2, and you were doing some scene, and he was like, Aegee, do it like this, say it like this, and you're screaming and you're yelling, and he's just adding, he's trying to find funny stuff that you can do extra things that you can do. to just i think when we were doing guardians too when dailies would go out to like kevin figy and them i don't even know if that's how that would work but they would see footage and they liked you they were like this guys were really funny so i was supposed to die in that movie you know the scene at the end where

where michael rucker kills everybody with his arrow yeah and so we did that much later like i shot most of my stuff when we did the stuff with you and then i came back like three months later to shoot just my death scene and we shot it and then james was like i would shoot something else just to make just have footage so in case we wanted to you're still alive and so we just shoot a really quick scene of me on the ground crying that i've been stabbed and my beer is exploded and that was it just to have you know in case he wanted to use me again doesn't that feel good though feels great feels great feels

great. He was going to do it in a post-credits scene, you know, how they had like three or four scenes during the credits. And he's just like, that did make sense, man. Yeah, so he used my scene and the end credits. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now, from there, he cast you in Suicide Squad. Yeah. Now, you have a part, you play the same character that you do in Peacemaker, right? Is it the same character, Economist? John Economist. John Economist. John Economist. John Economist. Who comes up with the name economist well john ostrander came out he's an actual comic book character oh he is yeah oh boy i should know that people are probably screaming at me right now so john ostrander came to set um to visit and james introduced me he's like he's like steve this is john ostrand he created the suicide squad

and i was like oh my god it's great to meet you and james is like steve's playing um is that my watch no it's not your watch it's my cuckoo clock i got so scared no it's No, don't be embarrassed. I should be embarrassed. He goes, Steve's doing motion capture for King Shark, and he's doing John Economist. And he looks at me. He's like, oh, you look like the real John Economist. And James and I were both like, what?

And he goes, oh, yeah, he's like, I based the comic character off a friend of mine. I was like, oh. So there was a real guy named John Economist. Do you think that helped you in him casting you a peacemaker? Yeah, maybe. Because the part, John. economist is not a big part in suicide squad you know it's funny one dimension you got kind of a one line here one line there yeah and you know you're doing that and you're also standing in for king shark yeah now how

hard is it to stand first of all being to stand in alone i see how many hours they're on their feet how exhausting is it to be a stand in for king shark it wasn't it technically wasn't stand in it was motion capture um they had a stand in that would when they were lighting and stuff they're There was a guy, I wish I could remember his name, he was great, who'd stand, big dude who would stand there. But I was just like, I was there for reference. So the actors had somebody to look at and I could do, you know, scenes with them. And it was actually a blast.

I hope to God they use King Shark, you know, if there's not another suicide. In Peacemaker. That would be amazing. But if there's not another suicide squad movie, you know, the characters, at least now in the D.C. world and, you know. Were you being considered to voice King Shark at first in the beginning? No, it was when James asked me about it. Because I read for it many times. He was, James was like, I, he's like, I want you to do what Sean does for Rocket, you know, Sean's motion capture.

He's like, I want you to do that for King Shark. He's like, I need somebody funny. He's like, I need someone big. And I'm like James's tallest friend. So it just made sense. it was never brought up me doing the voice we never even talked about it in fact we did the table read and at the table read we'd never discussed what his voice was and it wasn't until we were starting and i'm sitting there with like idris on one side and margot Robbie on the other and i was like

super nervous and i as my first line is coming up with i was like i don't know what this fucking guy sounds like and so I did it like me read I did it like ominous and deep and scary and which works because he's a big shark right and so after then once we started rehearsals James was like that's not working he's like he's like he's just a big goofy English isn't his first language he's kind of slow he and then at one point he goes he's like think Stallone He's like, like a slower down version of Stallone, like Stallone but trying to find the words. And I was like, so let me do this, the whole. So I was doing an impression, my impression of Stallone the whole time.

He didn't know they were going to use Stallone, but I knew I was like, you know, especially towards the end, Peter Saffron was like, just so you know, they're reaching out to people to, you know, audition for the voice. I was like, yeah, I figured. I go, yeah. But in my head, I was like, why don't they offer it to Stallone? Because it's a million dollar roll. That's probably what they were considering. It's like, this is expensive. But it's also D.C.

And it's also James Gunn, and he knocked it out of the park with Guardians. So I think D.C. is like, we got to trust this guy. So I was never shocked that it was Stallone. I, you know, I met him when we did that stuff on Guardians, but there's no way he would remember me but i met him at the premiere for suicide squad and i just fucking walked right up to him i'm like sly i go i go i'm steve i did all the motion capture for king shark he's like oh my god he must have been rough all that running around he did a great job you know post for some photos with him and i was like that was awesome that is awesome

so when did you get the call from james saying i want you to be this character john economist I want you to bring him back in Peacemaker. Is that what would have happened? That was, I didn't know James was doing it. Nobody knew. James had like quarantine, downtime, lockdown, you know. And he just started writing it? He wrote eight episodes in eight weeks.

He just to write. And then he went to Warner Brothers and said, hey, I had this idea for the spinoff for TV. And of course they were like, yes. Okay, we'll take it. let's do it. We'll do the eight episodes. And while they were figuring all that out, I guess he was probably fine-tuning it. And it wasn't until October of 2020 that he called me. He's like, I didn't want to get your hopes up, but he's like, but we're going to do a spinoff of Suicide Squad. So your agents will probably be getting a call soon. I was like, what?

But you didn't know how big it was going to be, right? I knew it would be bigger. He's like, you're, you're going to be a serious regular in it. And I was like, did you shit your pants? For so many reasons, yeah. One of just, like, flattered that he would do this for me. Two, there's a global pandemic. Nobody's working at this point. It's still the first year of the pandemic.

So I was happy to have work. You know, I'd been living out of a suitcase and, you know, I didn't find a place to live once I got back from shooting suicide squad because the pandemic started so i was like living out on friends couches so i was like oh my well you also had a really rough year you lost your mom my mom died two months into the pandemic two months in the pandemic and you were very close with it that was incredibly rough yeah yeah she and not covid she died of leukemia like she was diagnosed just before the pandemic so she went fast two months two months after she was diagnosed two two and a half how fucking shocked and like didn't even hit me

that that was that could be a thing but yeah i mean how do you how did you deal with that did you because you were alone during the pandemic you're alone you lose your mom i get back we literally wrapped suicide squad in panama into february i had two weeks of visiting my mom in the hospital every day while she was doing chemo um and then the lockdown happened and the hospital was like you can't come and visit her anymore. And I was like, what am I supposed to do? I was going to be using all that time to find a place to live, but my mom got cancer. So I had nowhere to live.

I call my friend Dave out in Joshua Tree, who's got like a small cabin, basically. He's like, yeah, you can stay here. And so I was isolated in the middle of the desert, calling my mom every day on the phone and listening to her deteriorate and get more and more confused. She got to a point where she was just like, I think they call it chemo brain, where she's just like, it's almost like dementia where in the saddest part of all of it

was she's like, how come you're not visiting me? And I was just like, fuck. I was like, mom, there's a pandemic. They won't let me into the hospital. And she'd snap out of him. She'd be like, oh my God. She's like, that's right. Yeah, I forgot.

right two minutes later same phone call why aren't you visiting me yeah so the hardest part of all that was knowing that she passed away alone in the hospital and be confused as to why she was alone in her family so that killed me for like a year yeah you know um and then two months later my friend lynn died much younger not much older than me and lynn who was talking me through facetiming me every day after my mom died talking me through it then Lynn dies and they find out she died of the same thing that killed my mom like she was just undiagnosed Lynn was dating mark marron and they were living together during the pandemic and then she got up one morning collapsed they took her away to the hospital that night she was dead and it was leukemia I remember

and it was just like another like just nice and I was just like so the first half of 2020 first half all of 2020 was fucking horrible and then james calls me in october and it's like we're doing peacemaker and i was like and you were rock bottom at this point at this point this is the lowest you've been since you can remember this is the worst year of my life 2020 and then james like completely pulls me out of like a fucking pit and he's like yeah i was like all right when are we doing it? And he's like in three months. Wow.

And I was just like, good. Get me the fuck out of here. And that was seven months of getting to hang out with James and Jen and Sina. A lot of work. Yeah. Pretty exhausting. At times. But it was, it's an ensemble.

So, and they would block shoot episodes. So it'd be like, there'd be like two weeks where they're doing all this stuff at a prison. And I'm in none of those scenes. So it'd be like just driving around British Columbia. be taking photos right you know yeah you can look on his instagram and a lot of those photos that are still there at steve a g at steve a g um you know i watched the first four how many have aired at this point well i don't know but they will have all aired by this point yes six just when this airs um i was so happy to see how good you were oh thanks man because you know your friends you work with

your friends and i always think oh steves is hilarious i love being around steve steve's a great guy i love them you know it's a character actor i only see them one line at a time and now i see you and it's like you are going toe to toe there's some scenes with you and and see i almost said joe spina but uh seena let's just start calling sina or spina sina spina spina called sina and joe but seeing you in these scenes it's just like and it's not one dimensional it's like you could see this character's kind of heard at times yeah physically as asthma falling against the wall and like you know being abused and like getting emotional getting hurt his feelings hurt casinos throwing shit at him peacemakers making fun of him his beard being died yeah wait

till the finale dude i don't say anything i'm not saying anything but like there's just a full arc like it's a great character i'm so lucky i owe james a lot but you nailed it thanks man you nailed it and it's just it's so fitting sometimes like you know there's so many great actors around but it takes that right role for people to go oh you know what i mean to realize how good they are yeah because a lot of times you're only as good as the writing you're only as good as the product it's also a character that i that i relate to a guy who's you know can be the butt of people's jokes and is just like doesn't want to go outside of his comfort zone i'm very comfortable at home at the computer like like economists is at his computer that's where he's doing his best but you know i longed to go out

and be adventurous and you know economist gets to go out and kill things and people and shoot do you know you're my favorite moment it's one of my favorite moments and it's such a nuanced little thing it's the first time you kill someone or you think you killed someone oh yeah yeah remember yeah and you hit him with this pipe yeah and then you repeatedly and then you the first time but you kind of run away a little bit because you're all yeah yeah yeah he might come back and kick you beat the shit out of Sina like I'm like yeah yeah he could annihilate me and then you keep beating him and you're like yeah yeah and you're just so excited about this and you just really kicked ass john economist motherfucker john economist motherfucker yeah um this is uh these are some

questions this is called shit talking with steve aji these are my patrons oh okay lovely patrons who helped the podcast uh in so many ways great patreon dot com slash inside of you if you want to uh help the podcast are these insiders is that what you call them what i call them patrons okay i could I could call them insiders. Why haven't you? I'm going to write that down. Hey, thanks for listening, Insiders. We got a new episode.

Leanne, what is your dream role or project next to Peacemaker? I mean, that's, it literally is what I'm doing right now. I can't imagine. I would love to do a Western. Can you do a country accent, a little Southern? Well, shit, man. I think I could fucking do it. I don't fucking...

You could do it. You just get it. I'll shoot some motherfucker. I'll shoot some motherfucker at a day. I would love to do a Western... I'd love to do a war movie. The thing is, now I'm in my 50s now. I'd have to be like a colonel or a like...

I couldn't be like saving private Ryan like a young recruit. That's all right. Colonels could be cool. But I'd love to do a war movie. Emily asks, what was your favorite outside Dave moment from New Girl? Probably. Actually, my outside Dave's second episode, because usually outside Dave is like, he's the button at the end of a scene. I would never work for more than two hours on an episode of that show. But there was one episode where I'm in the whole episode. And it was directed by Lynn, my friend Lynn, who is my friend who passed away last year. That's when I met Lynn, Lynn Shelton. Um, that was my favorite outside day because it was like, it was a big part.

It was, and it was, he was supposed to just be one episode and they liked them and they brought him back. And this was his first time back as a recurring character. Awesome. Dana S. When you bombed on stage for the first time. She was there. What? How did she know?

What did you do were you prepared for the bomb? No. Nope. I, this is great because I had done a show. were doing Sarah Silverman's show program the Sarah Silverman's program and she because of the show she would do a lot of college gigs you know like pretty big like theater college gigs we did a show in Stanford and I would go and open I my first time opening for was in Stanford and she was like you want to come open for me and I was like she goes you have to do 20 minutes and I go I have I can do five

minutes and she's like just go out and fuck her oh she goes no you have all these dumb little short films that you make at home she's like put them on a DVD and we'll just you come out and introduce them and talk about them and that'll be 20 minutes I was like oh yeah okay so we go to Stanford and we're walking into a 2,000 seat theater I am immediately have diarrhea I'm so terrified I've had diarrhea from that and and the the the that house manager is like showing us back to the green room and I go who would I give this DVD to uh to show some stuff and they go oh we don't have a DVD player and Sarah just starts laughing and she's like you better think of some shit to say and I was just like so we go we're like there

two hours early and Sarah's just on her phone and on her computer and not not worried at all and I am sitting in the corner like going um what's funny what can I talk about and what and i go out on stage in front of 2,000 people i don't bomb i go out and i start just riffing like making fun there's nuns sitting in the front row i start talking about them everyone is dying because i'm on tv and they've seen me on sarah's show like yes the guy from so they're laughing anything i say is hilarious and you don't think of that funny no and i'm like now i'm like super cocky I can't go to sleep that night I was on such a high

The next night I have a show at the improv here on Melrose And I'm like I know This is gonna be fucking easy I go that was 2,000 people Improval what 200 people maybe I go in there

Walk out on stage Say the exact same thing I wish I could remember what it was That I did up at Sarah's show Silence Silence Silence Silence

Luckily, no one was heckling, but it was silence. I go, they must not watch the show. I'll go on. And I say the next joke or whatever. Fucking silence. Boom, flop sweat. I am now, just like that, covered in sweat. I'm, like, short of breath.

Do they know this? I don't know. Do they know you're struggling? They probably don't. They could probably see me sweating, but I probably don't look scared. but I sped through what the night before I did in 20 minutes I spent through it in like maybe seven minutes and I was off I was off the stage and I was like wow that was that was the worst thing I've ever done did you never want to go on stage again I didn't for a long time I was like oh I need to write more I can't do this I'm not Robin Williams terrifying I need to really have to work at it yeah it is absolutely terrifying even like when you're doing really well and then you say a joke and then it doesn't land even one joke after you're killing it can just throw you off throw you off um yeah and doing 20 minutes 25 i've done 25 minutes before i only had done it for like yeah yeah just it's

i can't explain it it's it is terrifying i always feel like i'm not kidding not to be graphic but i had i take like 10 shits before i go on oh yeah and i'm like when will this go away and swarton's like never you'll shit forever i did a tour with tignitaro and It was like TIG and Martha Kelly from Baskets and we were just driving around up the West Coast, you know, to Washington and down. We were just doing all sorts of shows. But we were doing shows that we booked on MySpace and we were doing shows at people's houses. People would hit us up and we'd come to their house, pass around a bucket for tips. And they paid pretty well?

Gas money. Some of them paid. We made enough to get to the next gig. Right. And we coined a term diarrhea arrival, which is you drive up to a house and you see the conditions that you're going to be performing with and you immediately just have diarrhea because you're like, this is going to be fucking horrible. So diarrhea arrival is born. Diary arrival. Oh, man.

Well, I'm just so happy that, you know, things took off for you because it's, it's, you know, there's so many talent people there. There's so many talent people out there. And you're like, when they're going to get their shot? I was, I just had lunch with Jason Alexander Day, name drop. Yeah, yeah. And he was just talking about that. He's like, there's so many. I mean, it's really a lucky thing.

Because he's like a dime a dozen for people that are talented. Yeah. But to have that moment, you know. Well, this is my first series regular since Sarah's show ended in 2010. I'm 52. I should have given up a long time, you know. Yeah. I mean, but you have been working.

I haven't been working. There's been lean times, but I've made a living as an actor. Do you think you would have kept going even if you didn't get the offer of this show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would have kept going. Yeah. Even during the pandemic, all this shit happening, you think you still would have risen to the occasion. Yeah.

Rose to the equation? Rosed to the occasion? Risen. Risen to the occasion? I rose. Did what you rose to the creations? Rose to the enbaum. Enbaum.

Rose and Baum. this was a real treat for me me too man did you have fun i had a blast this wasn't i didn't honestly this was one of the first things i really didn't know what i was going to talk about but i knew you'd come oh there there would never be dead air between us yes yeah tell the audience what you recently sent me a picture of i don't remember what i said it came out of your penis i'll give you a hint oh my kidney stone or the stent what was that explain what a stent is so i It looked like a string to me. I've had kidney stones off and on since, you know, my 30s.

And, but I've passed all of them. No problem. I really, you know, just on my own, drinking water. When I know I have one, I chug water and it flushes it out. I had one that was so large two years ago that they had to do surgery to get it out. They're like, we're going to go through your penis with a camera and laser. We will find it, pinpoint it, and bring it. break it up with the laser and then we pull it out with this little basket and um and then we leave

a stent in your ureter the ureter is the tube oh there it is that's the stent it's the size of an iphone charging cable that was inside of my body i don't know if you could see it and they leave it in your ureter because put it up on the patreon somebody can see look how horrified I look. You could send it to Jason for B-roll. That's two and a half feet long, curly cues on the end to keep it from falling out. And they numb your penis, so it didn't hurt when I took it out. No, it just feels awkward.

But that goes in so your urator doesn't swell shut from the trauma of the surgery and keep you from being able to pee. They say passing a kidney stone is equivalent to maybe delivering a child or getting, not for me. No, it wasn't bad for you. I have a high pain threshold. I when I get a kidney stone when it starts to pass oftentimes I'll drive to the hospital in case it gets bad but I can usually just stay in the parking lot and just kind of walk it off chug water that I want to be near the emergency room just in case in bad one yeah hey real quick who's uh who makes you laugh harder than anybody else on the set who's the one that can break you um Sina. Sina can break you?

Yeah, yeah. He's broken you before. Yeah, yeah. Freddy does too. Freddy, who plays vigilante. Also, James. James will... Throw shit out of you.

We get to points where he starts throwing out alternative lines, alt lines. And some of the stuff is so funny, I can't get through it the first time, because I'm hearing it for the first time. I haven't prepared. Who's the most professional on the set? Jen is really professional and so well Jen Danielle and Chuck Woody who plays Murn the three of them are like just pros flawless yeah you love it you enjoy it oh it makes you better you know you've worked with people like you've worked with walking and oh yeah it makes you better it always makes you better yeah what a treat well I hope you get many more seasons to come you deserve it fingers

cross I love you love you too man I really Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming over. You've been doing a lot of press for Peacemaker. Guys, make sure you watch The Peacemaker. It's on HBO Max. Follow Steve Aegee. He's a hilarious guy.

You're going to love it. If you haven't seen this, you're going to love John Economist. Economist. Honestly, hilarious. Just wait a couple episodes in until he starts getting really fiery and barking back at seen his character for Peacemaker. That's right. We all have our breaking point.

What was that from? I don't know. We'll have our breaking point. Was that point break? It wasn't All right Thanks for allowing me to be inside of you Thanks Mike

You liked this episode I did He was a good guy Yeah And he's uh He just tells it how it is You can just tell that this guy's been through a lot And he just tuffs it out

And is that the right word? Tufts it out A lot of different chapters in his life A lot of different chapters Yeah And it's like wow He's in his 50s now Yeah

Right? Mm-hmm And boom He gets a role that finally makes people go, whoa, hey, that guy. Yeah. It's amazing how one role can change your life. And I think a peacemaker really did.

And I hope it continues for him. So Steve, thanks for coming on the podcast. Thanks for divulging so much information to Ryan and I. If you really like the podcast, I urge you to continue listening. I think you'll enjoy other guests. Go on YouTube, leave a review, leave a review on Apple, Spotify. also I will be at the I'll be in St. Louis

at a con May 13th weekend. We're doing the Smallville Knights in St. Louis with Tom Willing, which is a two-man show. We improvise and we read scripts from Smallville. And so I'm going to be there. And then I go to Liverpool for the 21st that weekend of May. And then June 10th and 11th, I'll be in Metropolis, Illinois. And then the 16th or 17th, I'll be off to Australia.

supernova. So join me at one of these places, at least for the love of God. Come on. You could do it. Meet up with me. Also, the inside of you online stores available for merch and sunspin.com for band merch and zooming me and there's cameo. There's all that stuff. I appreciate you. But most importantly, thank you. All my patrons, join Patreon. It's a way to get back to the podcast. If you're digging it, go to patreon.com slash inside of you, become a patron. These are the top tier patrons that I read every episode because they're so supportive and they give a little bit extra to the show, which really freaking helps, Ryan. Helps me.

Yeah. Helps me. Helps everybody. Yeah. Happy birthday again, man. Thank you. 34 years old. Yep.

Got a lot of years left ahead of you, man. A lot of good years. I could feel it. You're going to have some really good years coming up. Thank you. I feel that. I feel it. Yeah, I absolutely feel it for you. Well, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, let's just, let's just keep living. L-I-V-I-N. G. I'm going to the beach this weekend if you want to join. We're going Saturday, a group of us. Nice. Yeah. So if you're around. All right, let me know. Here are the top tier patrons. I'll read them off. Nancy D. Aaliyah S. Sarah V. Little Lisa, Y, Uquico, Jill E. Brian. H. Nico P. Robert B. Jason W. Christian K. L. Raj C. Joshua D. C. J.J.P. Jennifer. for n stacey l jenn s jemal f jennel b kimberley uh e correct mike e l don supremo nine

more ramira s s s s benni n mattie s belinda n chris h d spider man chase sheila brad d ray h tabitha t damn boy tom n lillian a talia m betsy d chad l rachel marian meg k travel dan n big stevie w Correct. Angel M. Ryan and C. Corey Key. K. Key. Super Sam. Dev. Nexon. Correct. Michelle A. Jeremy C. Andy T. Give yourself some kudos. Cody R. Gavinator. David C. John B. Brandy D. Vore. Camille S. The C. Joey M. Willie F. David H. Adelaide, N. Omar L. Omer I. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. Chris P.E.E.N. D.E. Chris P.E.

Nikki G. Corey, Nicole, Patricia, Heather L, Jake B, James B, Bobbett, Abel F, Joshua B, Tony G, Megan T, Mel S, Orlando C, John B, Caroline R, Rob E, Paul C, Christine S, Sarah S, Eric H, Spring, and Jennifer R. Those are the top tier patrons. They give back quite a bit to the show, and they, top tiers receive boxes from me of merch and a little note every couple of months. And there's other tiers that you can join. join if you just want to support the podcast. So patreon.com slash inside of you. Got a great episode coming up next week. So I hope you guys will stick around. Get anything going on, Ryan? Do you want to talk about? Just the birthday?

That's kind of it, man. Just been thinking about aging in life. Wait till you get to be 50, buddy. Oh, can't wait. You know what it is? It's like, here's my way of kind of rationalizing and sort of just putting things in the perspective. when you're 50 you think why was I worried about getting old when I was 40 when you're 60

I'm going to be I'm going to be like god why don't I just enjoy my 50s I was still young you just got to enjoy it all comes down to just being present and just being like hey you're 34 right now you're not even mid 30s you're below the mid so it's the end of uh being marketed towards as a young person. It's the 18 to 34 demographic. Yeah. I'm like a parent. I'm like...

You are also a parent with two peas. Up a parent. Did I do that? Oh, I thought I did. I was trying to do a homonym. Homonym? Homonym? What's a homonym?

It's when two words look the same but sound the same but look different. Look the same but sound different. As an A space parent or you're an A parent and you're also a parent. You're also APP. Yeah, like principal. Yeah. Principal. The principal at the school?

Principal. Yeah. Having principals. Yeah. Is it a hominem? Let us know. Let us know. Anyway.

Guys, thank you for making us your choice for podcasts. We may not have, you know, every week you might not know a guest, but I think you're going to learn something and you'll enjoy it. So we hope you stick around. Thank you very much. I am Michael Rosenbaum. I'm Ryan Deyes. from the Hollywood Hills in Hollywood, California.

Hollywood, California. Give a little wave, Brian. We love you. And thank you. Be sure to be kind to yourself. Be good to yourself. Thank you for allowing me to be inside of each and every one of you. It's a real treat.

And hopefully you keep coming back and I'll keep coming back. All right. Take care. Football season is here. Oh, man. Believe has the podcast to enhance your football experience. From the pros One of the most interesting quarterback rooms

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