Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Rebecca Mader

Episode Date: July 7, 2020

Rebecca Mader (Once Upon a Time, Lost) joins me this week and opens up on her experiences with bullying in her life and how it has shaped who she is today and how she maneuvers in this industry. Rebecca also shares her experience with therapy and how it has impacted both her personal friendships and romantic relationships. We also talk about her experiences on Lost and Once Upon a Time, the pain of dating in Hollywood, and the gratitude she has for the roles she’s held. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Sometimes I think about it too much. I'm like, should that be like inside of you with Michael Rosembourg? Or be real happy. Hey, you're listening. No one wants to listen to someone who's too happy, do they? Is that true? But welcome.

I hope you guys had a good week. And things are a little crazy with the, you know, California's getting shut down again, beaches last weekend were closed and, you know, I'm not going to go on about this. Just thought things were getting better and, you know, jokers, jokers cause this. Jokers. How's everybody's anxiety this week? Is everybody holding up? Are we exercising?

Are we keeping your routine? Are we going to therapy? Are we talking to someone? Are we talking this out? By the way, check out these new pillows. holy crap alison made these for me and i want to thank lea too for being amazing look at this out of t-shirts she made these pillows i love them inside of you pillows thank you to all my patrons especially during this whole time uh when you join patreon you're helping

the show ryan thanks you i thank you bryce thanks you thank you for supporting the podcast going above and beyond by just listening it you are amazing but people who join patron, the amazing community. And I can't believe how many people have become friends on this, on this thing. If you're interested, go to Patreon, go to Inside of You under Patreon. It's an app and support the show if you like. Also, shout out to Ronald McDonald House, Los Angeles, and all over the world. They're everywhere, and they're so important, helping families and kids going through treatments.

And poodonfoot.org. You know, I love them. Shout out to my buddy Rob. And I don't know if you saw my glasses. Sarah made them for me. They were amazing. It was like a Luther and a Kent, and it was a decanter.

So you call them a decanter for alcohol. Pretty neat. Yeah, it was just cool. So those are awesome. You know, status quo, man. Just, you know, just trying to keep busy, I guess. It's crazy. I think I'm busier, you know, on this whole lockdown thing.

Do you guys get the feeling like, you know, you see friends all the time? And then when you don't see friends, you get in a little depression and you're a little bit anxious. And then months go by. And then you're like, I love them. I miss them. But I'm kind of used to this stuff. That's not entirely true. I do miss my friends.

But the longer you don't see them, you know, it's like, fuck, I don't even remember what it's like hanging out with them. I mean, there are a couple people that I've seen, but not many trying to abide. The dude abides. Oh, you know what? I also, I had a good cry. I had a good cry. I was watching Titanic. You guys have ever seen Titanic?

I know you've seen Titanic. Some people are, I never saw that. I don't want to see. It's, you realize why. I mean, James Cameron's just extraordinary. But I'm watching it. And at the end, you know, when the old woman, she's there and she's like, you know, she goes back into the Titanic in her mind as she's older.

And it's nearly near the end. And all I thought was she's just trying to think of Jack and those moments. And all I did was think of my grandma. You know, because I talked to her facetimer almost every day. And she's like, I miss my Irvi. You know, I miss my grandpa. I miss my grandpa. I wasn't her grandpa.

But she's like, I miss my Irvi. And I made these big signs for her at Staples because when we went to the funeral back in November, I was like, I don't want this to be just boring in tables and food. So I had these pictures blown up to these giant poster size and made like four of them. But me and Irv on a go-cart and Irv playing, just cool stuff. And she still has them next to her bed. And she has them in the house.

And she goes, I talk to Irvie every day. And it's just so sweet. But anyway, that scene in Titanic made me tear up. And I love my grandma. Call your grandmas. Will you? Call whoever. Tell them you love them.

It's easy. You just, here, look at this. You just dial. Let's just try to get her right now real quick. Hello. Hey, I just want to call you and tell you I love you. Oh, isn't that nice? I love you too.

Yeah? Oh, a lot. How much on a scale from one to a hundred? At least a hundred. I was hoping you'd say like a thousand. I didn't use it from one to a hundred. Tushay, tushay, Blanche. Hey, listen, I love you.

I just want to check in. I'm doing my podcast right now. I want to just see how you're doing. Are you holding up all right? You holding up for me? Yeah, I am. I'm holding up. I called you last night.

Will you be home tonight? Yeah, are you busy right now? No, no. But I thought you're doing something. Oh, yeah. Again, you're quick. All right, well, I just wanted to say hi and take care of yourself, and I can't wait to come see you. All right.

All right, I'll talk to you tonight, though. You will. Okay, sweetheart. All right. I'll look forward to that. Oh. be seeing you in all the old familiar places I love you I'll talk to you later okay baby bye bye bye see how easy that was I just thought it and did it do it right now

you'll feel good terrific podcast today thank you guys for you know you hear it all the time but thank you I wouldn't be here without you or if you're sitting there and you're like I'm just listening to this one because I like Rebecca made her or Beck's mater she calls herself and many people call her that as well we find out why but if you're you're watching it for her and you like it please subscribe you know subscribe on youtube you can watch it listen uh on most any english isn't great you can listen to it anywhere um and i appreciate the support also the inside of you store um cool stuff cool shirts cool hats all that uh fun stuff and uh i got to mention old napolean dynamite john heeter and i have our horror patron as well another patron

called where have all the good horror movies gone and we're having a blast with that we just did a zoom with all the uh one of the tiers and we do like a monthly zoom when we talk about what we want to watch and what's up it's just a nice it's like a it's a horror club if you're a horror fan so thank you for all my horror patreon fans and inside of you patron fans uh inside of you podcast fans people who just listen and love let's uh let's jump right into it man let's get inside the fascinating amazing uh she's i love lost let's get inside of rebecca made her it's my point of you you're listening

to Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum Inside of you Inside of you Inside of you

was not recorded in front of a live studio audience Sarah Giller just texted me she said to see what's up Oh she's sweet I should get her

on the podcast too She's great She's sweet I've met her a long time ago Did you work with her Sarah Michelle Geller I only know her from Bar Method From working out back in the day

And then I moved back to New York in 2012 Because I'm like, I'm going to die alone And we reconnected there We had a really good time Why did you say you're going to die alone? What the hell does that mean? He's dating in L.A. sucks of balls. That's fine.

Yeah, well, if you see me looking at things It's because I'm like I said, I'm doing all this. I know I got to make sure I'm recording. Postpartum titties. Postpartum titties. Is that what you just said? You're welcome. Are you drinking a brew?

Hello, yes. Mommy's off the clock. He's asleep. So dating, I like how you say that. I mean, it is terrible. People don't understand it. In the world, in general, dating sucks, right? But then in Hollywood, I mean, give me your worst story.

I've got so many. That wouldn't be the whole podcast. Dating in L.A. by Rebecca Maida, what not to do. What is the one thing, though? There's one, that's the reason I pissed myself laughing because there's one specific date that just went, it was a classic.

It was, I want to say the year was like 2010, 2011. And I was on lost at the time. And I'd been single for a long time, and I was going back and forth to Hawaii. But I'm like, I should make an effort today. Cool, cool, cool. And I found this Facebook group. called Brits in L.A.

Do you know what I mean? I was like, oh, cool, I'll meet some British people. They all live in Santa Monica, whatever, like go down the pub. And then this one guy asked me out on a date. And I'm like, okay. And he turned out to be such an arrogant wanker. And there was a picture of him on Facebook next to a plane. And then he spent the entire meal talking about how he was a pilot.

And I was really bored. And then he said to me, he's like, so what do you do for a living there? And I'm like, oh, I'm an actress. And he's like, right. Uh-huh, uh-huh, mm. So anything, you know? I was like, oh, no, this is awkward. Because you don't want to pick at your own horn and go, um, hello.

So I was like, um, yeah, I'm currently on lost and he went, what? Are you serious? I'm like, yeah, you went, oh. And he was, I swear to God, he was devastated. It was like, he was so annoyed that I was actually successful, that I wasn't like a waitress. It's like, oh, my God, you're amazing.

Do you want a blowjob at the end of dinner? And he was so good. His whole face and energy just went, and in that moment, he just checked out. And I just wanted, I should have just got up and fucking left, but I don't know why I didn't. And it was the most uncomfortable sushi. I thought, it was traumatizing. I thought you were going to say, all of a sudden he heard you say loss, which was like the biggest show ever back then and one of the biggest show still. I thought he was going to say something, like his whole demeanor, his whole disposition was just going to change.

And then from there on, he was just really sweet. That's what I thought you were going. No. So you was... You masculated him with one word lost. Yeah, it was weird. Oh, sorry. Am I too successful for you?

How small is your penis? Good times. But that's L.A., though. And also in L.A., I was finding that, you know, I was looking to get married and have kids, and I was going on dates with people so much older than me, and they're not ready to get married and have kids. How much older? Like, yeah.

All right. So I moved back to New York. to see if I could find a boyfriend and potential, you know, baby daddy. And I got there. I moved all my shit across the country. And I didn't tell anyone. I didn't even tell my agent or my managers. I literally just shipped all my shit across the country.

It cost like $6,000. And I just moved to New York. I'm like, I'm going to find a real person that's down to earth. It's going to be great. And it wasn't as bad as L.A., but it was equally shit in a different way because now, now that it's become so gentle. because I used to live in New York back in from like 1998 to 2006 and I had an amazing time in my 20s

but then when I went back in my 30s and in 2012 it's totally different and everyone in Manhattan all the guys were either a lawyer or a banker. Oh God, yeah. That doesn't, that's... Bro, let's do some shots. Let's do some cocaine and go to the strip up. I'm like, I'm going to die alone.

And it just cost me thousands of dollars to figure that out. Got it. Well, wait a minute. too because you also were married before yes when i was in my 20s in new york i got married really young and was that one of those things where you guys were your friends did everything work at was it nice and then it just fell apart or was it kind of a spur of the moment thing you get you get all hot and heavy no it was a very drawn-out exit stage left but we were essentially just really really good friends you know he was a really good friend and we became more like roommates and brother

and sister i think he's more sort of what happened so it's kind of like a slow dissolve for soft fade to black. Are you still friends? Friendly. You know, friendly. I'm sort of so friendly with his family and his got sisters and kids and stuff. But he had an amazing big family. And that was really hard to lose this massive chunk of people,

especially because I don't live in the country. You know, I lost everybody. All at once. I was like, by myself going, uh-oh. Yeah. That's got to be hard when you get, you sort of get attached to everybody else. Yeah.

And once you start doing that, then now you find yourself single. You're not only single and you hate dating and you're meeting this guy who's a doucheback. But then on top of it, you're like, oh, my God. And I was married and I still have these connections, which is sort of a link to him. You know what you just reminded me of? I was like, I totally keep forgetting is that someone broke up with me because I was on Lost. Like, the guy that I was seeing when I got the part was like a bit disappointed. But I've gotten it.

And I'm just like, what? My dreams are coming true. And it's like, congratulations. I'm like, why don't you just phone in that bloody response? And then after a while he's like, you know what? I don't really want to be with someone that's going to get recognized. So see you later. I'm like, I'm sorry.

What? You knew I wasn't. Okay, cool. It's like all these blokes along the way, like, I like, I like you, but I don't like you successful. So what is that? There's something psychological there. I'm sure you have a therapist.

I'm not. Well, you know, I don't know what that is because, I mean, if you like someone, you're just like, hey, I want to support you what you do. I'm happy for you. In fact, if they're not an actor, maybe it adds a little spice. to their life. It's still, you know, it's not like you want to, oh, I mean, you're dating. You married an actor.

No, I did not. Isn't he a director or like a writer or he's not in the industry? He has a production company and he has produced TV shows, but he also has other businesses that are really successful. So he's not like in Hollywood, Hollywood, but he knows enough that he understands what I do, but he's not like balls deep in it, which is perfect. I love how you. I think it would be a nightmare.

I love these phrases you use. It's really good. Now, how do you use? know when you met him, what was different? So it's Marcus, right? Mark. Mark. What was different about him than the other guys that you were right away? Was it the first date where he did something and you thought, huh? What was it? We didn't have a first day ever because we had mutual friends in common and he was in another relationship. So I'd sort of gotten to know him over a long period of time.

And then, so it was kind of like a slow get to know. And then he and his ex-girlfriend broke up. And then I hadn't worked in ages. I was, oh my God, it was awful. I was like 70 grand in debt, homeless. And me and my dog couldn't even stay together. This is only in 2013.

Why were you $70,000 in debt? I hadn't worked in ages. But still. Because I had to borrow money and like, had a loan. It was awful. I couldn't afford my car anymore. This is post lost. Yeah. Yeah. It was weird. It was like, I was thinking coming off of lost, I'm like, I'm good. And then it was, it was not. And then when I was working, maybe it was like a guest spot or something little, which is a lot less money than when you're a series regular, as you know. So it kind of gotten really, really crap. So when I met Mark, I had that year in 2013, I tested for 11 pilots. And got zero. now what does that what does that do psychologically to you does that give you did that did you fall in the depression did you get anxiety it was something that I had to put a lot of energy into surrendering do you know what I mean because it was a blow and it hurt I got on the phone

with my team and I'm like I want you to go out there and I want you to call everybody and get feedback because the only common denominator in all of this is me so if it's something I'm doing wrong if it's like my American accent was shit or they didn't think I was connected to the material, whatever the fuck it was, I need to know. Otherwise, I don't even know. If I don't learn from this, then what was the point? Because this hurts. And so they went out, and then they came back to me a couple of days later, and they were like, none of it was your fault. I'm like, come on, piss off. You know, can't none of it be me. But it was all really weird. It was like, one was like, you know, it was an ethnicity thing out of my control. And

another thing was like they had to go Canadian visa-wise. It was all these weird, stupid little, completely different reasons that totally outside of my control. So, I had like a come to Jesus moment. I'm like, fuck it. I'm just going to have to hashtag surrender. And I just threw it all up to the universe and just decided to have a great summer instead and just whatever it is what it is. And that was the summer that me and my husband fell in love. And I was in a really good mood, even though things were really crap. Because love conquers all, doesn't it? But you know what? But you know, in a way, it's true. When you really are in love and that feeling you have, I don't, I mean, I haven't experienced a lot in my life. But I would say that it's definitely top few feelings that you get. It's definitely more exciting than going, oh, my God, I got this part. When you're in love with somebody and you're like, there's, that's, I mean, this is, you know, you're thinking.

And I can feel that way. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love my husband. But becoming a parent is way more next level in terms of love because it's a different kind of love. And it's like, I will cut a bitch. I will die. I will throw myself into oncoming traffic. It's like all of a sudden there's a.

person that you would literally do anything for like you can get annoyed and want to punch your spouse but with your child it's like whatever you do you can even he can shit in my face i'm like i've got this you know it's like it's very different and when we're schmushing that oxytocin and like the feelings that are released it's like better than any drug in the world you're like i'm like inhaling him like i i can't get enough and it's like woo it's like such a high and then i you know it's really helped me get through this pandemic and everything because it's been a really rough time for everybody and I think being able to shmush him has really kind of kept my mood up. Did you think of at one point what am I doing with my life? I'm going to quit acting. I'm

to quit all this shit. It's just bringing me down. Because think about it, it's just like, you know, your life from day to day, it changes, your emotions change with, I got a part or I got this callback or now I didn't. So you're up and down, up and down. And are you an emotional person where you would feel each one. I'm the most emo person ever. I mean, I'm just nothing but a bunch of feelings 24-7. Can you cry like that? I mean, like, lose your

shit? Yeah. I can cry from two seconds ago. I'm so connected to my emotions, which is a good and a bad thing. It's fun for my husband. I mean, he saw that early, though, right? He saw like, okay, she's emotional. Yeah, I mean, I don't hold back. I mean, I'm totally myself and I'm authentic,

but I really, I feel things, which is a blessing and occurs because I've had to learn how to not take on other people's shit because I'm so sensitive. If someone's in pain, I'll cry with them. I'm feeling it too. And it used to really, like, deplete my energy so much I had nothing left to give myself. Did you go to therapy about it? Did you, like, did you speak to someone?

You do. Do you still do that? I love therapy. I do too. Currently in therapy, but I have spoken about it. And like, I've tried to sort of learn tools to kind of hold space for somebody that I love and be present and be there for them, but then, but not completely connect to it energetically, where you can kind of just hold space here, be empathetic, but then not, like, absorb it

where you're like, oh, God, afterwards, you know. So it's been a, like, that's why I think what you learn over time as you get older, I couldn't do that when I was younger, that's all. You know, every time I talk to my friend Tom, he always has advice, and I remember throughout the years, she's like, I know you want to be in a relationship bad, dude. I know, I just want you to know one thing. imagine oh your shit now you've got all their shit you got all their shit and all your shit i know you think it's great and there's moments it's a lot dude it's a lot because their shit is your

and if you don't want to deal with their shit it goes to shit a lot of shit that's perfect if i mean that one sentiment there just eradicates all relationship books like that's just it sums it up that is relationships relationships is taking that someone else this bag of shit, the end. It kind of is. And it's also how much of their shit can you handle it? You want to like throw it in the doggy, you know, trash can't on the side of the road. It's a, it's a lot.

What's the best advice a therapist ever gave? Because there's certain things a therapist has told me and I go, oh my God, you know, little things along the way. What was it that really connected you? I had a big, big one. I had a big, big one about a year and a half ago because I was talking about, you know, there's like that old adage where people go, oh, well, you know, when England anyway, and I'm like, you marry your father, da-da-da-da-da-la.

And I was like, that's so weird. I'm like, I haven't married my dad at all. Like, my husband and my dad, and nothing like, and she let me waffle on for a while with a sort of smirk on her face and, like, waiting to give her response. I'm like, what? And she went, she's like, you don't marry your father, dear. You marry your dominant parent.

And I just went, oh, well, she's like, I'm going to give you a minute. And I, all of a sudden, I realized I've married my mom. Oh, my God. Because you do. You marry your dominant parent. That's not true completely. I mean, that might be true for some people, but, like, for instance, like, look, I love my mother.

I wish, you know, I, you know, we don't need to get into that. But I just want to say that I certainly try to marry someone that is, and no disrespect. She's who she is. And it's, I just need, I can't marry someone like me or like my mother. I need to marry someone who is sort of the antitrust. of that someone who kind of calms me tells me to shut the fuck up someone who i'm a track you know so i don't know if that your parents in their relationship are they together no no they've been divorced for 15 years my dad remarried and he had divorced my mom's my before they got divorced who was

the dominant parent out but like who wore the trousers in the relationship oh man it was really like you know my mom was just off the wall so my mom would walk into a room and we're watching the Mets game and all of a sudden she would just go you're fucked to my dad and then go

I fuck and there storm out I'm like I looked at my dad he's like what the fuck what's wrong with you you know she just said what was on her mind and something

no filter at all she didn't know if she was making people uncomfortable so she has a huge heart but she's the opposite of my dad so my dad was very reserved private

and never seen my dad naked one time I saw his balls and upset him but uh you know she was kind of out there so he was like I was amazed sometimes how they were together but then that you talked to my grandmother my grandmother would be like they he was crazy about her he was so crazy for so long and then I think it just got you know because he wasn't a jealous guy but she was sort of uh doing things to provoke him and it just didn't end well it just did not end well do you think that Are there certain rules with your marriage where you're like, you know, is he very comfortable with himself where he doesn't, you know, does he get jealous?

Do you get jealous? Do you, how do you deal with all that stuff? I would say I'm more of a jealous person. I've always been like that my whole life. It's definitely, yeah, I'm way more jealous. But there's no like rules or anything. But I think there's sort of like this sort of understanding that like it would be weird for me to like meet a straight guy and then have lunch with him. Like we don't, you know what I mean?

like any male friends of mine are male friends that predate him or they don't want me sexually because they, you know, a gay or whatever. So that's different because like that's really the only, like I would say is like the rule. I don't meet a new guy and have a new guy friend that's straight. That's weird. Yeah. So, I mean, are there certain things that you guys feel like you have to tell each other everything, like every last thing or is it just like, I trust you, go do what you want?

When I was younger, I always like. wanted my boyfriend to be like my girlfriend, like my best girlfriend and hear about my day and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then this was also good advice from a therapist. She said, he doesn't want to hear it. I don't even remember who I was with at the time. She's like, men just hear blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When is she going to get to the point? And then with women, she's like, what about when you call a friend or when a friend calls you? And I'm like, oh my God, tell me everything. Wait, I have to get a beer. What were you? Was it a Tuesday? It was Thursday. It was Thursday. That changes everything. Wait a minute.

it. What were you wearing? We have to know all the details, but all the story. And that's when I've learned to realize that strengthening my female friendships improves my romantic relationships, because I'm never going to get what I want all of it from a man, because what women get from other women is something that I don't think a man can really give. Like, the way that we hang and talk shit and crying each other's arms, like, you get a different kind of support from women. Do you think women getting meaner? You know how men? Can do things that are hurtful and say things But when women, in other words, when

Guys talk about women behind the women's back So if the guys are downstairs talking about something They could group of them, they're like, and they could say things And it's, it's, uh, you know, whatever, it's shallow, it's this. Oh, she had small boobs or oh, she had this. Oh, really? You know, guys could, you know, get in their little groups and say their shit. Do women get just as bad? They're like, oh my God, he's such a ugh.

That guy's such gross. He's gross. I bet he has the smallest. dick like do they get you guys get in that shit i mean i think women can be equally as bitchy as men but i think i don't know i think when you're in your 20s you might be friends with people that aren't good for you or people that could be bitchy to you and tear you down but the best thing for me about getting older is you don't waste your energy on that so for me the female friendships that i have now none of these people would talk shit about me behind my back nor are i then because over

time you weed out all the dicks you know so that so as you get older like for me it's like my female friends have because it's like hanging out on zoom or sky in a pandemic with a friend with a glass of wine soups chilled is way better than any therapy session because those are the kind of like friends that I have the chats that we have we afterwards you might have mind-blowing moments where you have this realization about something and it's like and I grow just from hanging out with my mates all right tell me tell me if I'm wrong here I feel like women aren't from what I gather from friends or other girls, you know, for instance, I have a friend, she got something done to her face.

Immediately, I can't hold anything back. I'm a close friend. I just go, what the fuck did you do? What? I didn't do anything. Yeah, you did. Don't fucking lie to me. Look at your mouth.

It's like briefcase handles. What is that? She goes, I don't know what you're talking. I go, don't lie to me. Come on. Now women will go, oh, my God, you look. I don't know I'm doing your accent. But you know what I mean?

They're like, oh, you look great. Oh, no, you're not fat. Oh, no, you're not. I'm like, someone asked me a question. It is rude to not, I mean, show some propriety. But how could, I don't like women. Women are too nice to their friends. They're too nice.

They're like, no, sweetie, you're wrong. No one sees that. Tell them what people see. Do you think I'm fat? Honestly, you're my best friend. Please tell me. I go, look, I think you're beautiful inside out. But I will not lie to you.

Could you lose a few pounds? Sure. We all could. You put it in a certain way. but don't lie to them. Don't sit there and go, yeah. Or am I too skinny? Am I, just, I want people around me who are honest.

Not so much that they don't. I agree. And I think I used to be like that kind of girl where I, I think because I wanted to be liked, I didn't dare say something negative to somebody. And I also was so terrified of hurting other people's feelings. That was always one of my greatest fears was making somebody else feel bad because I was bullied so much growing up. So I would be the person.

Like, no, no, you look fine. You look brilliant. I love you, New Lynn. lips. You tell me, gorgeous. I totally used to be like that. I did. But I have to say, I just get more and more and more honest. And I just, I don't want somebody's lies. Like, if I say to someone, I'm feeling a bit weird in my body at the moment and I feel like I need to lose a few pounds, my best friends will probably go, well, how can I help you do that? Which is agreeing, right? But in a way that lifts me up and says, how can I be of service to you in achieving

that rather than like no no you're fine because if someone says that to me then i don't want to be your fucking friend it's like tell me the truth listen you said earlier you threw this away like it was nothing and you know i'm gonna i'm gonna hammer you with it you said you were bullied as a kid yeah why were you bullied and how old were you um i was started when i was four four yeah there was this girl at my school that basically bullied me for the three years of that school because in england you have like infinite school, junior, and then you go to secondary school. So it's like from the age of four,

to seven. Did you say infant school? Infant school. Is that what you call it? I was either called infants or it's called primary. Okay. Primary and secondary. And it was horrible. It was almost like she was my captor or something. Like she owned me. It was horrible. I dreaded going to school. It made me feel sick to my

stomach. And then when I went to another school and moved away from her, I had some pretty good years. And then another group swept in and they all just decided to bully me together as a group, this group of girls and just ruined my time at that school, junior school. And then I went to another school. You'd move on to the next one. And then it happened there with these other girls and they would like follow me on the way to school and their bikes and try and trip me up and push me. Why? Do you know the reason where there's certain reasons did they call you certain names? Yeah. They were like called me like a posh twat

and things like that because where I, you know, in England, how you speak determines everything, right? You were born in Cambridge, right? Yeah, because the class system is still very much in place. Your accent determines how you're treated or perceived by people, you know. So I think I got into a group of friends when I was like 14 that were posher than me. Like, you know, their parents lived in Cambridge because mummy and daddy studied literature there and then stayed. Whereas I'm a local that's from there. Like generationally, the English side of my family was from there.

And I think when I got into this group of friends, my accent kind of got a bit posher. So then it pissed off the other people from my previous call her. Who the fuck do you think you are now? Do you think you're fucking special? And then they would get their friends like come and kick me at lunchtime. And I used to hide and hide and eat my lunch. I go for a bike ride at lunchtime and I eat my sandwich by myself. And how long did this last?

Through high school? Up until I was 14, 15. So it was like from the age of 4 to 14. So often on different people for a decade. Yeah. Well, do you have any close friends from back then who kind of stuck with you? Not from those years, no, no. I've got one, two very good friends from home,

but that happened after I kind of got away from all the bullies, but it was shit, I hated it, it ruined school. I still have nightmares about being at school, and I wake up, drenched in swear. I mean, it's still very much in me and a part of me, and it's been, it's definitely shaped who I am, and I think it's why I'm still like a normal, not toot my own horn, but people say,

oh, don't ever change, or when I started acting, it's like, I can't, because, Like, I'm still like this, like, chunky acne, bullied person inside still. Isn't that funny? Isn't that funny? Not that. I'm just saying in general, because that's how I feel. People don't understand that.

But when things happen to you when you're younger and you're bullied or you're told you're stupid or you told certain things, it doesn't matter how successful you are or get, for some reason, those things still stick with you, even if they're almost subliminal or subconscious, I mean. and they're just, they sort of find their way out if you let them. Well, it's still, it's still not completely, like, you know, saged out of my experience. It's still in there. Like, I've definitely worked on it in therapy and, you know, just try to kind of, like, fix that part of myself. But I still, it's still in me, because I would say that, like, my biggest trigger is being bullied. So if I feel under attack or if someone's coming after me, it's really hard. hard for me to just be like soups chill about it and like let it rush off my back because it's

like me I'm like no you don't get to talk to me like that leave me alone and it's like it's like fighting for four year old me going I've got this because I'm trying to be for myself what I didn't have then at the time and it's it's really hard for me to stop doing it's like Rebecca you're not for I guess stop acting from that inner child's still yes I still do that too If I feel like I'm, if somebody's condescending or making me feel dumb, it's almost a defense mechanism where I'm starting to feel like, oh, oh, oh. And then I kind of get like, no, whoa, whoa, whoa. It comes back up and it comes out and different emotion comes out because I don't want to let

this crush me. So what I do is I kind of get mad. I can feel it in my chest. I know it's wrong. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. And I will, like, there's no, sometimes I'm like, why are you even doing this? and it's because does this ever come out has this ever come out on a set have you ever just really clashed with someone where you're just like this person is just I don't get it

I feel like I'm being bullied I feel like they're just disrespecting me and you just want to crush them somehow I don't think I have actually really because it's definitely happened to me in my personal life a lot and it happens to me in relationships all the time but I don't think it's ever happened on set where I felt bullied in particular by a person. Other negative things may have been happened. Like maybe they were inappropriate or unkind or trying to neg me and put me down, which I guess is a form of bullying. But I don't know.

Not where I've wanted to just like go completely postal and just like get really English because there's one there as well. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. But you would if you had to. Yeah. Yeah.

I would. I probably would do it more now that for my son. If someone tried to bully him, I really hate bullying. I just have no patience for it. And I really, really hate it. And when I find out that people are being bullied, I get really upset. And I think, what can I can do? How can I help?

And I think that's one of the reasons why I've got such an amazing connection with a lot of the people that watched once upon a time because I met so many people that suffered from it too. And it was really cathartic for me to share my stories with my fans and listen to theirs and sort of understand it. know, and kind of not let it take over your life. So that's been really cool in a way. You know, I think the bullying thing is also going to be very good.

You having experienced that and raising a son, I would know because I'm not, I don't have a son. But with Milo, there's things that you could learn, that you've learned, that you could tell him that's, that if you didn't experience that, maybe you wouldn't have sort of informed him and kind of gave him an idea of, like, like, hey, this is happening, but you can relate to it so you could sort of maybe express how you feel and maybe educate him a little more on that. Definitely. I mean, it's, I mean, I don't, I don't regret anything about my past. And I also don't have pain about things that happened to me because selfishly, you know, it's made me a better actor.

And I think, you know, I've worked with actors that have had a fantastic childhoods, like the kind of people that you would mean, you know, like where you were saying about wishing to have different parents. And, you know, I've worked with actors that had amazing upbringings and were always attractive. And I find people like that really hard to relate to and quite boring. So people that have had, like, fucked up childhoods or used to be overweight and have acne like me, I find it colorful and interesting or been through stuff. And those are the actors that I really like to play with, people that have lived, you know.

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Money. Do you like how for 30 minutes we just talked about all this stuff? This is what I like. But you know what was amazing playing such a broken kind of damaged, character on once was that she was so jealous. Like they made that why the Wicked Witch went green, right? That was why I was green was because I was green with envy. And with the relationship with my sister, you know, I got to, like, there was this one director that just said, you can just go after her the entire episode. Like every scene you're in, just fight like a fucking dog.

And I had been waiting for someone to give me permission. I spent the whole episode going, I'm going to take everything you ever have. for the whole episode and I was talking to everybody that had tried to fuck me over since I was for in every scene just like like the exorcist my head popped off and spun around

it was amazing it was probably cathartic literal colonic like so good when you first got lost was that like a game changer did you know because they told you

what did they tell you like oh it's just one episode it might be two that you knew it was going to be longer. You can't just come on and get, you know. I initially was told it was going to be eight. It was supposed to be like an eight episode arc. And then I ended up doing, I think, like 22 or 23. And I'm sure they gave you tons of money to do it.

Well, no, I wouldn't say tons because it's ABC Disney. So it's not like shishing, shishing. But it's like I had different contracts for different seasons. But it was like going into this, it was never about the money. It was like, okay, I am joining. a brand new machine that's never been built before. There's never been anything like this before. This is actually a big fucking deal

because I wasn't watching the show when I had the audition. And then I went to Barnes & Noble at the Grove and got season one on DVD and I'm like, I'm going to manifest this. I'm going to watch every episode and pretend I'm preparing for a role because I've just seen the secret. I was like back in 2007 when that was a big deal.

And I was like, I'm just going to go for it. But then of course, when I started watching it, I'm like, oh, my God, this is amazing. How the fuck have I not been watching this for the past two years? All my friends watched it. Like, why are you watching Lul's? And then when I started watching it?

I'm like, oh, my God, I'm an idiot. This is amazing. And I'm like, okay, well, this is probably going to change my life. Was it intimidating? Getting on that set, all of a sudden, your first scene wasn't your first scene with a bunch of actors? Yeah, my first scene was with, like, you know, Locke and Sawyer and Claire and Hurley.

Like, all of the, in the first day, it was bonkers, and Benjamin Linus shot me in the chair. That's right. I remember that scene. My first day at work. It was epic. So I watched 66 episodes in three weeks in preparation for my first day at work because I joined an episode like 402 and all three seasons were already out on DVD. So I had like two weeks to like pack up and get ready to go to Hawaii and I was watching

the season finale of season three in my hotel room waiting for transport to pick me out. and they're all like the world is like going wow wow they're on their hands and knees and then and then they're like rebecca we're ready for you and then i went straight into the next season it was the sickest thing i've ever experienced in my life it was like i climbed inside my apple computer i was like in the episode it was so weird was it um jj wasn't directing a lot of them at this point right he just was producing it so you didn't really get to meet him i think he did he definitely did the pilot i don't know if he did any others i would have to look at that online i'm not sure Right, but you, one thing I always say is when you audition, you get a role, at least you know that that's, that's the way you're going to play it, because that's why they cast you.

If you get an offer, it seems so cool. I'm like, I got an offer for that, but it's not fun because you go on set and they're like, no, no, can you try it like this? Like, oh, shit, I don't know what I'm doing here. I've had that where I'm like, I got an offer and then I'm doing something. They're like, no. I'm like, what? You hired me. Something's scary about it, but you knew, like, you had the cops.

confidence you were there there wasn't really molding it or it was sort of there was on lost i auditioned for that that wasn't an offer that's what i'm saying yeah so but then so to me i felt confident because they liked what i'd done in the room so i felt like i knew what i was doing but was once upon a time that was an offer and i wasn't they didn't they never said how they wanted me to play it which was really nice and i got to just kind of do my own thing and they were like whatever you're doing we love i keep doing it i'm like okay were those long days that had be long days But it was cool Because it was such a big ensemble cast

It wasn't like you know You were in all the scenes You know like with small casts Where you work all day or day This was easier Because it was like 10 series regulars Plus all the guest stars Plus everybody else

So sometimes you know You might have two or three great scenes And only you work two or three days And then you'd have like five days off That's nice I mean it was wet and it was cold And it was physically grueling And there was lots of stunts and lots of rain

and we shot in the rain always because Vancouver as you know is technically a rainforest so for six months of the year it was raining and we shot outside at night in the rain and we just shot in the rain with like a big scrim above our heads

and get the pole and push it and what was crazy is like I remember thinking it'd be like four o'clock in the morning my gowns are so heavy and wet for the rain I got mud up to my knees and it'd be like bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum rain just hitting the thing over our heads in the scene

a shout over the rain. I'm like, how is this usable footage? But then cut to you, watch the episode, and they were able to, like, pull the rain out, like, like, nothing had happened. I'm like, what? Bonkers. Yeah, I mean, that character,

I mean, you're playing an iconic, and by the way, you're not coming on right away in the first freaking year. You didn't come in until season three, right? It was very similar experience to loss where I kind of, like, got inserted into a pre-existing hit. See, that's not easy, though. Maybe for you it is.

Enormonimo. Yeah, because when you're on a show from the beginning and you're in the pilot, it's amazing in other ways where it's like it's your show and it's your baby and it's your thing. But then also if it fails, it's all on you. You know, and then I don't know, I feel like going into something that's already really shiny. I mean, it was such a blessing to me because it was already a hit. I knew it was going to air. I mean, how many pilots have I done that never even saw the fucking light a day? It's so disappointing. I was like, at least this work will be. seen by people it won't be completely for nothing you know yeah the only other question for that is you know the musical episode did you sing is that your favorite well i just i watched them because i didn't see the whole episode did you sing in that yes yes i do remember the lyrics of course i do i mean i sometimes i sing like over the past or year or two would get up on stage and sing my song at conventions what were the lyrics to the song oh my god it's a four minute song rosy that would take four minutes. Well, I didn't ask you to sing the four minute song. I said, what are some of the lyrics? Like, I'm wicked. I'm green. That's exactly how you know why I mean. What is it? It's called

Wicked Always Win. So it's like me winning and going to take my sister down and da-da-da-da-da. But it's really cool because to shoot my song was a full day where just me in Oz with my munchkins. And it was the same as shooting a music video. It was so cool. And they play the song really loudly on playback. And then I really sang along with it rather than mouthing it. Otherwise, your neck, which I did never thought, because I'm not a singer, like your neck wouldn't move right if you're just, you know, mouthing the word. So I really sang it all day long as well and came up with the choreography and it was so how long did you have to learn the actual song?

I think we had about three weeks. They had a singing teacher for us in LA and then he would Skype with us in Vancouver and give us singing lessons and then we recorded it. We had like one session in a recording studio in Vancouver and then that was You know, I have to ask you about Merrill Streep that you, come on, because so far you haven't told me you're getting nervous at all, but you had to be nervous in front of Merrill Street when you first met her. Chug the beer.

Go ahead. No, you weren't nervous. I could tell them. I mean, I didn't feel like, oh, I didn't, I didn't like, poo my pants. She just, I don't know. I just felt very, very excited. And she's just so normal and chill and present and kind that there was, there was, there was one time we were sitting in her office when we were shooting and they were doing something with

the lighting but they said like don't don't go to your chairs can you just stay here we're just going to fix something so I remember my heels were killing me and I was in like you know her character's office and was like stretching out on the on her couch and like merrill had her feet up in her ugg slippers on her desk but she's doing a crossword and I'm drinking my latte and this other actress was like what is wrong with you I'm like what do you mean she's like you're like lying down and relaxed this fucking Meryl's dream and you're like stretching it out like you weirdo but I she just genuinely made me feel and I felt that comfortable around her was I don't know it was like really yummy energy did you asked to take a picture with her or uh sign an autograph

I did but I was like oh don't be that person I'm so not that person I'm that person asking for people for I never ever ever who gives a shit why but I just thought in my career what if doesn't get better than this. There's really nothing better than her. It's like doing a movie with the queen and then going, ah. I was like, I don't want to regret it when I'm older that I didn't at least ask. I thought, worst case, no, she could say

I'm not comfortable with that, sorry, darling. And then that would be fine too. So after I rapped, I snuck up to her trailer and I knocked on the door. And I'm like, Merrill, darling, I'm so sorry to bother you, but I've rapped. And she's like, oh, no. I'm like, can I please have heard. Of course you can't. Get in here. She was so nice. I had that same experience with Robert

England in 98 for Urban Legend. I was like, what if it doesn't get better than meeting Freddie Krueger? I'm taking a picture with Fred Kruger right now. That's one of my, the first nightmare announcements is one of my favorite films of all time. And the first ever convention I did was a horror convention. And she was there? In Florida. I'd never been to a convention in my life.

Plus, I was signing, so I didn't understand what was going on. And then I heard someone at my table say that Robert England was there. I'm like, what, where? And I jumped up and left my table, and I'm like running, looking for Freddie. and he was doing photo arts. And I walked in, he had no idea how I was. I'm like, hi-ya! And I, like, jumped in next to him,

and he put, like, the blades around my face. And I'm going, ah! Oh, my God. Niceest guy. I remember the poster, it said, if Nancy doesn't wake up screaming, she won't wake up at all. Oh, creep.

One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four. Do you know the later numbers, though? Nine, ten, never sleep again. What's all right? 11, 12. 11, 12, going straight to hell. 13, 14. I don't know once he cut the top of that guy's head off and he's like, you'll be the, no, I'll be the beauty, you'll be the brains.

When I was 11, I had a full-sized poster of Freddie Kruger, like, of the door, stuck with Blu-Tac on the back of my bedroom door. I could see him from bed doing this. I have a doll of him right there. I have a doll up there of him. sign. I mean, I have some, yeah, same shit. Same. Love him. What's your favorite Fred Kruger, uh, Freddie Kruger

quote? That one, I'll be the beauty, you be the brains. When he cuts the guys when he scalps that guy and his brains like pulsating out, that's my favorite. I think I like, welcome to prime time, bitch. And the fourth one, I think, Dream Warriors. And then also in the first one, he goes, Tina.

Oh, yeah. And she looks at him. And then he says, this is God. And he cuts a fingers off. All right, these are questions, shit-talking questions. For Rebecca Maider. Why Bex? Is Bex a thing for Becky? Rebecca? I've never been called Becky. Beck's... Becky Maida. My husband actually really brought it back. Some of the guys at school, like my guy friends used to call me Bex, like B-E-C-S. And then when my husband and I got together,

he started calling me Bex. I was like, I love it when people call me that. But then it became B-E-X rather than that. And he always calls me Bex. He doesn't call me anything else. And now you have a thing with your brother at home with Sean and Bex. Yes, there you go. And you can find that on Instagram. But people that follow me, everyone calls me Bex, except for my parents now. They call me Beck. I never call you Bex.

I just call you Maider. A lot of people call me Maider. Everyone in my agent, my whole team all call me Maider. It's so funny how people do different names for me. And then my niece is called me Aunt Becker. I'm a Becker. This is shit-talking questions for my patrons. And these are quick, quick,

fire. Ashley E. How long did it take to put on that green makeup? One and a half hours. I got your beat. It was like two and a half for my baldness. But that wasn't my question. Anna A. How fun was it to play such an iconic character as a Wicked Witch of the West? How long was the makeup process? We told you that an hour and a half. It's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Literally changed my fucking life. And I don't know, man, that character will be with me forever. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love her. Who do you miss most on the show? the one right then it just came to mind what was that i was going to say i don't miss any of them

because we're all still friends and we're all here in l a i'm friends with so many people from that show it's it's abnormal jennifer morrison was on the show i love her i walked away with at least 10 friends like when you leave a show you're lucky if you get one goody i've got loads like at my baby shower half the room were onceers oh i love that it's crazy yeah marissa and what was one of the most exciting or most challenging scenes to do in Once Upon a Time? Exciting, definitely, the musical episode, for sure. And then challenging would be going, like, traipsing through mud and snow at 4 o'clock in the morning with walking pneumonia and wanting to die and having to, like, deliver

a fucking monologue or, you know, 20 minute, you know, speech when I couldn't breathe and wanted to die. It was so cold and, well, that was hard. Dust off, if you could make your own character in Once Upon a Time, a time who would it be and what powers would you have and would you use them for good or evil i wouldn't want to be another character other than the wicked witch of the west and if i could have an extra power just outside of it i've always wanted i wouldn't mind stealing like harry potter's invisibility cloak i'd love i knew you were going to say that and someone just

told me well i don't know about harry potter but being invisible and they said you know when people want invisibility it could only be used for one thing and that's bad that's a bad thing If you would do good things you want to be seen If you do bad things you don't want to be seen Hence invisibility That's what I'll say Lisa H in playing Zelina I said that right

Zelina How is it for your acting process Going from a villain To what some people see as a good person Do you feel her character And development was more of a redemption story There was definitely an arc Where I went from being less psycho

And less bitchy But I think the vulnerable Part of my character Was always there which was fun because it wasn't like I was just angry and cold from the beginning. I was definitely emotional and broken and got to show that throughout. So at least that was there. It wasn't just like, oh, I was really nasty and then I was really nice.

It was a cool arc, but they always wrote places for me to show my vulnerability from the beginning, which was cool. Danny, I like that Rebecca describes yourself as a fan girl and a sci-fi geek. What are your favorite shows? My God. Game of Thrones, I would say, probably. number one. I love that show. I auditioned for the pilot. For who? For Queen Searcy. Ooh. Can you imagine? Wow. Yeah. I remember the audition at HBO and I just had surgery. I was so out of it. I don't know how I remembered lines and I sort of did the before was like,

well, do you know, blah, blah, blah, I slept with my brother in the tower. I don't know what I did. I was in the mix for like six weeks. Oh. Me, girl, p. And age, do interactions with fans differ depending on which role they associate you with?

The number one thing that I notice in terms of if people recognize when I'm out, when I go out without a stitch of makeup on and my hair back and go to Whole Foods looking like crap in my Jimmy Jam scrams, people go, oh my God, Charlotte, lost, they loved you. And then if I've made

a bit of an effort and put my things together, people go, oh, my God, Zalina once a fun of time, always. And I never get recognized for the other one, the other way around. Dion K, any memorable moments on the set of Lost that you can remember? I've lost. Who is the diva on that set? Come on, give me something. I can't do it.

I mean, there was a diva, though. I will tell you. How many divas were on that set? One, two, three. How many do you remember like, oh, they're difficult? They are difficult. You don't say the name. But one was the dog.

The dog was the first character I met on the set. I was sitting waiting for them to finish the scene. And he came and sat next to me. My heart fluttered. I was like, oh, my God. I was so nervous. I'm like, the dog. It's the dog.

I was so excited. I want to hear this divo. Not doing it. You're not going to do it. It's so funny because every once in a while you'll work with someone. You're like, man, they just aren't happy. Something's going on. Maybe they're just going through a lot of stuff.

That's what it is. That's what you have to do. you have to go as long as it doesn't you know as long as it doesn't affect my work and as long as they don't be bitchy to me but you know what it is it's like you know I've had some really challenging financial chapters in my life really you know where I've had nothing and then so then when I'm working I'm just I really try to kind of focus on the positive in no matter what the situation just the blessing of working and this is my happy place and I'm in my chair and I'm like yeah this is why I do what I do so when I see someone

acting so poorly or being really unkind to hair and makeup or a PA. I'm just like fuck off home then. You don't have to be here. We're not saving lives. We're making telly. And if you don't want to do it, then fucking don't. There's a million other people that will cut their right arm off to be sitting

where you are. I have no patience for it. That's something you've just lost me. I'm like, I'm never going to be friends with you. You're not a nice person. Can I guess who it won? You know, look, I love talking to you. It's been a while, but I always follow you in Instagram. I just, I'm happy for you.

I genuinely am. And I know you went through a lot like, you know, young age you were modeling and then you went to New York and you were, then you did some soap operas, but you're fucking, I don't know how anybody does those. How do they memorize 35 pages in a fucking day? I would puke all over my own penis. I just say that. But I'm just happy for you and you're super talented and you're, uh, you deserve all of it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's anything to say. Thank you. Thank you. Wait, what? Yeah. Well.

It does. Thank you. That's really sweet. I like hearing that. Well, take it. You know what the best part about this interview is? You?

No. That Milo didn't wake up crying. Yay. You were worried about that. He's out cold. Where's his feet? There's his feet. He's out.

He's such a good boy. What's your handle so people could follow you? At Bexmader. B-E-E-S-M-F-M-A-D-R. At Bex-M-A-R. I'm a hoot, and I'm very humble. Obviously, if you listen to this, if you're this far along.

At home with Sean and Bex, you could listen to her and her brother, Sean. Well, not by blood, but my brother from another mother. He's like my brother and my best boy. I see, I see. And that's our YouTube channel that we've been doing to kind of just have something to do during the pandemic and stop ourselves going completely bonkers. What do you want to do? What's the next thing you'd like to do? I want to do a multi-cam in L.A.

Really? Be a giant penis and be home for lunchtime to see my baby. They always say that multicam is the best job. You ask any actor, I think I'm the only one. one in the universe who thinks differently. I'm sorry. I don't think it's easy. I don't.

You know why? Because I've done it. And the reason why I get, because there's something about everything's changing every day. The lines are changing. This is changing. And all of a sudden, Friday night, you're going up in front of an audience and you can be learning lines. And I'm just, I like to, I like half hours or movies or I like to have the material where I could really get into it.

I know it's that material. I don't like things changing all the time. I'm just, I don't like that. It is stressful for sure, especially like, you know, as it gets rewritten every day and you might lose a joke that you've become really attached to. And you're like, no, no, no. And then it's gone. And then it comes back and you're like, oh, it's back.

And then it goes again. And it's definitely an emotional roller coaster. And I did a pilot with James Burroughs and Sean Hayes in 2018. I'm like, this is going to be huge. The entire crew and set of writers were from Will and Grace. I'm like, it's a hit. It's on NBC. It's definitely going to get picked up.

You know, we had two weeks instead of one week, to rehearse it and we finally get to the end and then they changed all of my lines on the night never seen him before and they just hand me a laptop and they're like so these are the changes I'm going to cut that bit you're going to go a different way around the table and hear your new jokes okay and I'm like okay let's go and I'm like what did you fuck up a lot all these changes were you able to just get them and deliver them easily yeah but it wasn't always breezy I mean the stakes were really fucking high and I was so nervous but then when I did it and I crushed it and I got a laugh but high it was like it was so high yeah I remember

them throwing things at me I'm like all right Michael John's going to say this and then you're going to say that for some reason this is when I start feeling dumb again as a kid from as a kid because I can't he's going to say that and he's going to say that and you're going to say that so while they're going I can't even listen because all I can't think about is the line I'm supposed to say got it and it was just I just don't I don't like that it's too stressful a format for you it's too stressful a format I would do it but I oh always would say I hope that they didn't change my shit and sometimes I remember my dad came one night live a studio audience and they gave me this monologue at the end and I remember going I just went over

it one thousand times because I'm you know I can't mess this up and I remember on the on the set I said it and they go a repo reposition did it again didn't really get it and then the director was cool enough to go all right moving on and we picked it up at the end when the audience was gone oh nice I love live live theater But that stuff is just like I don't I don't like it as much Maybe if I you know Maybe if you were producing it

You know what it means So you were in control I would never produce a multi-camera No I'm kidding Yeah that's true I want to make a horror movie That's my goal I look I love you

I'm available Hey believe me I know you could do it You could freaking do it See You can You can do it. You can play crazy.

I think you can play crazy. Sex. Hey, listen, thank you for allowing me. It's like Chuckie, let's be honest. Listen, thank you for allowing me to be inside of you. This has been wonderful. It felt so good. Thank you so much.

Anytime. All right. I love you. Thank you. I love you too. See you soon. Bye, darling. Guys, a great episode.

I like how open she. She's so silly, right? I mean, she just lets go and doesn't give a shit. Rebecca, thank you for coming on. I hope you guys keep doing your thing. And, um, you know, that live podcast was Zach, Zach, Zach Levi and I, uh, was supposed to be July 2nd, but obviously that had to be pushed and it'll be later in the fall. So keep looking. Wait, wait another month. You'll know it because I'll post everything when we have it rescheduled at the right time. And again, hey, uh, the, uh, support the show, the handles, uh, Twitter,

Instagram, Instagram, it's pretty much inside of you podcast or Instagram and Facebook, inside of you pod on Twitter email your friends tell them to watch it and I would certainly appreciate that and patrons

thank you again if you're interested go to patreon.com or there's an app and you can go on there and get bonus material and things from me and merch and just check it out it's a lot of fun

and the other Patreon is where of all the good horror movies gone and that's another patron I do with John Heater Napoleon Dynamite and it's a blast why don't I read off the wonderful patrons who make the show Possible

Nancy D Mary B Leah S Tricia F Sarah V, U Kiko Jill E Brian H Lauren G

Nico P Barry L It's actually Barry I I mess it up every time Angelina G Lee Jerry W

Kevin R Emily K Rob Bob B Robert B Are they brothers One's Bob One's Robert

Jason W Christian K Amelia O Allison L Jason D Raj Joshua D. Emily B. C.J.P. Samantha M. Hamzabee. Humzaby. Sorry, I had to say it three times. Jennifer N. Stacey B. Carly T. Almost done here. Rine Jennifer S. Irene, Jennifer S. Janelle B. Tabitha 272. Kimberly E. Melissa C. Mike E. Jake M. Marissa N. Norea. Judith D. Ramiro. Beth B. Chris F. Sarah F. Chad W. Leanne B. Darla W. Jackie P. Rodriguez S. Rachel C. Ray A. Maya P. Megan D. Demario. Jennifer C. Mottie S. Tiffany L. Kendrick F. Ashley E. Kelly W. Sigourney P. Tom T. Matt W. Belinda N. and Benjamin R.

And if you're wondering why I read off these names, it's part of the Patreon. These folks are what's called the top tier. And every episode at the end, I name their names off. And I wish I could take the time to talk about each person or say how much I appreciate them. But they know it. So that's why you're hearing those names. Why does he read these names? Well, that's part of the tier. And I enjoy doing it.

And these people keep the show going. So thank you to all these wonderful patrons of mine. And look for me on the Instagram lives, folks. I'll be doing them soon. I try to do one once a week if I can. and it's a lot of fun. I always bring people, random folks in, and you meet some amazing people.

We had this 16-year-old girl who answered, and so there's a video of her and I talking, and she just kind of seemed a little bit anxious or, you know, sort of, I don't know, in a funk, which I understand. And we talked, and I felt like it just, I don't know, I felt like it just, she said, you know, this made my night or something like that. It made my night.

It just was nice to talk to someone and go, hey, I remember being young and not be, I wasn't, I wasn't popular. And you can tell this young lady is really bright. And I think she's going to have a great future. So it was nice. So those Instagram lives, support the show whenever you can, however you can, emailing, tweeting, all that stuff, get it out there. Help me, help you.

Terrible that I quoted that one. And that's all I have to say. So thank you. And thank you for allowing me to be inside. and every one of you guys. Football season is here. Oh, man. Believe has the podcast

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