Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Smallville’s ERICA DURANCE: Sanctuary in a Bathtub

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

Erica Durance (Smallville, Saving Hope) returns this week to reminisce about the good and bad of her experience on Smallville while reflecting on how her upbringing of idolizing perfection led to prolonged stress and anxiety throughout her career. Erica goes on to open up about how she has a need to stay busy in order to keep calm and how she’s learning that ‘if it doesn’t get done, that’s okay.’ We also talk about our experience on set with fellow cast mates, our happy place, and the false narratives we sometimes create in our own heads. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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People do say things about you. They just say things about me. No, they just say, you know, they're like Ryan. They like Ryan. There's a guy there. There's this guy, Ryan. Because Michael can't be alone. Because Michael can't be alone.

Ryan. A new film by Jerry Brookheimer. That's good. Because Michael can't be alone, Ryan. The new thriller from West Craven. Somebody can make a poster. But that's nice. Thank you, everyone.

Yeah. Yeah. People love you. Thanks for listening, guys. As I say every week without you, we're not here. So there's so many podcasts to choose from and you choose us, at least today because you like this guest coming up. And she's been on the show before. But she really talks openly, candidly.

Erica Durantz she's here we thank you we thank you for listening and if you want to leave a review it really helps the podcast at inside of you pod on the Twitter at inside of you podcast on the Instagram and Facebook and we're on YouTube

so please subscribe and write a review it helps you know somebody it's always that one person that bothers you that says something on a comment on a YouTube that you're just kind of like And they're just like, yeah, you know, it's like, I'm going to just fast forward past you telling everybody to watch the show and write a review, something like that,

like I forgot what it was. I was like, dude, I responded to him. I wasn't mean, but I was like, how do you expect me to promote my show? You idiot. I mean, what do you want me to do? I mean, you had an idiot. If you're listening, thank you for listening. We need more of you.

But, you know, it's just like, I got to do that. I got to promote the show. So there you go. Hey, my band, Stage It. My band Sunspin is going to be playing on stage it. Please get tickets. If you haven't seen the band, we're coming out with the new album soon. The band is Sunspin.

Go to Sunspin.com. Get tickets for the concert. We're going to be on Stage it on May 28th, Saturday, 2 p.m. And a 6 p.m. show Pacific Standard Time. So get your tickets. There's prizes, zooms, all that. Also, the inside of you online stores available for tons of merch, smallville merch, autographs, all that.

What else? I'm on the cameo and, you know, whoring yourself here. The Patreon, the Patreon, my patrons, if you go to patreon.com slash inside of you without you guys, I don't exist. So if you want to join Patreon and help the podcast, you can in that way in many ways. Ryan, what's going on with you? Anything fun? Anything intriguing? You're going to Ireland soon.

Yeah, going a lot of places soon. Yeah, you're traveling a lot. All of a sudden. going to England, France, Spain for one of them. Good Lord. Yeah. Really tired.

Yeah, for two weeks. I'm tired thinking about you going to these places. I'm going to St. Louis. By the way, yeah, so after this will have aired, but I'll be in Liverpool this coming weekend and then Metropolis, Illinois, June 10th weekend, and Australia for Supernova in Perth and Sydney. be gone as well. So we're both traveling a lot.

Yeah. Yeah. Which I haven't done. No, you haven't done a lot traveling. So this will be good. I saw my parents, but that's about it, just in Northern California. And that's really it. I went to Hawaii. You went to Hawaii. You liked Hawaii, but Hawaii got a little old after a while.

Yeah, it's Hawaii, Vegas, there's some places that you can only do for like so many. Yeah. That's what happened. So many days. That's what happened. You're like, hey, I'm here. I'm here. I'm going to be home. Yeah. It's amazing how you just want to get back home. after a certain amount of time. You just, you miss home.

No matter how much you love being somewhere else, being home is the best. It just is for me anyway. Great show today. I think you're going to really enjoy this. Without further ado, I love this lady. She's beautiful inside and out. And she is really fun to talk to.

I hope she'll come on the podcast every year. I try to get my old buddies from Smallville to come on here at least once a year. So without further ado, let's get inside of Erica Durant's. It's my point of. you, you're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. I don't walk around like this. I just put on my fancy new shirt for my interview. What do you have an interview? First of all, you look fantastic. I don't know what it is.

Is it your hair? Is it, I don't know, but you look really good. I'm not long. Lots of lighting on in hair. It could be because I've learned that if I wear color, it makes me look less dead and old. Less dead. A time of color. Now, why are you? What's the big interview for? What is it?

You. Oh, it's me. I'm the big interview. Yeah, you're Michael Rosenbaum. You dressed up for me. I did. I love it. Where are you?

You're in Canada, right? I am in Canada. Vancouver, B.C. Vancouver, B.C. When's the last time you went home to Calgary? Oh, God. Like two years? Really? You haven't been there in two years?

Do you have any family there still? No, I have a brother in Edmonton. Hmm. And that's not a destination point of travel. I mean, he would say the same thing. I love him dearly, but he comes to me. Well, that's nice. I don't go in there.

No. He's like, you don't have to come to Edmonton. Edmonton's known for their big mall and the Edmonton Oilers, of course. Yeah, because you spend, it's so cold there that you have to spend some time inside. Should I be matching you with intellectual? You put on your glasses.

I think you look great without glasses and with, but I liked without better. That's something really nerdy about me. So when I was a kid, my sister got glasses in grade three and I was in grade one and I've always one of them. And so last year, I just had the slightest problem with my vision. You're like, yes.

I was like, yes. Anybody who actually needs glasses, put some on, and I'm like, you're such an idiot. But I technically need them for night driving. He almost said drunk driving. I was like, well, the drunk driving means glasses as well because things just get blurry. Yeah, you don't drink and drive. You're not even a big drinker. I don't.

I know you don't. I'm not even out past seven most of the times. Am I allowed to tell the folks here what I received a text? text this morning from you and it just said i so needed this oh yeah because you got a movie i did another homework movie i'm so excited what's it called it's working title i don't you don't know no they're just saying working title hallmark movie but the 10 pages i read before he said yes we're amazing. You said yes without knowing anything. It's like, it can't be that bad. You know, no, I read it. It was good. And what I like about Hallmark is at least the last three that I've done,

maybe it's because I'm older and so I'm doing different roles, but it's not quite the same love story. They still have to service a certain demographic and it has to be somebody falls in love at some point doing something, right? Life is all better and those kinds of things. And it's all positive and good but each like i did three so i did one with alison johnny in the fall and that was more about two best friends alison janny not alice and johnny i want to work with alison janey i was like all right now oh my god so if so wait you just did you did one alison sweeney alison sweet like thanks for the compliment i think because alison jennie is awesome yeah she is pretty awesome um she's in the back of my mind she's one of my heroes

Anyways, that one was about best friends. And then I did one in December, which was called North to Home. And that was about sisters healing their past and learning to love each other. I sound like I'm mocking it. I'm not. No, I don't think you're mocking at all. I think you're just telling me about it. I think you're excited.

You're giddy. You're just like, hey, I got this job. And, you know, maybe it sounds like, but when you said you needed it, what, why? Are you just a little, you know, how's your anxiety? You know, we talked about it last time. How's all that stuff going? How have you been dealing with it? It depends on which time it did you catch me.

Is it sort of like, you know, in the mornings, it's tough. And then in the afternoon, it gets easy. There was one moment. And it's not, this isn't a sexy story. But anybody who's had like really down moments knows that you somehow at 3 a.m., you end up in a bathroom. Why are you in your bathroom? Why aren't you still just on the couch upset?

but I just ended up in my bathroom, in the bathtub, fully closed, so it's not exciting. No water. I was just in there shaking, just like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. I was totally freaked out. Really? And as I was chatting with my sister, I thought to myself, why is it that I end up in the bathroom? She goes, I do the same thing. So maybe you can put it out there.

When are true anxiety moments, where do you end up? It's just your safe place. It was my safe place. safe place you get in a bathtub it sounds like a safe place for an earthquake right are you supposed to get in the bathtub during an earthquake or a tornado what are you ever supposed to get in the bathtub you're supposed to when there was that movie where they got in the bathtub it was lethal weapon she pulled out a movie from 30 years ago they got in the bathtub and it kept things from exploding on them

maybe that's what it maybe that oh yeah maybe that's it I don't know but yeah I do I do of anxiety, but I'm also working on ways to manage it. Now, look, I don't know, I'm not a doctor. I'm not like someone who knows everything, that's for sure. But it feels like to me that you get, you get anxiety, you're, you know, you're uncomfortable. There's your ups and downs. You go in the bathroom. You're freaking out a little bit.

But then you get a job and everything sorts to dissipate or just relax a little more. Is that true? Yeah, I think, I think that is true. I don't want to say that it's all based around working. Right. But it is based around things that, for example, if somebody thinks they have a sense of purpose, right? And they can focus all of that intensity somewhere and say, this is what I'm going to do. So depending on what you've, how you've validated yourself or what your kind of pattern has been your whole life.

If that's interrupted and changed, then it can create anxiety. So for me, you know, I started working as a janitor when I was 10. Wait. Wait, wait. I was a waitress. A janitor. Yeah. Where were you a janitor?

My family, we cleaned the local. No, no, no, it's good. I'm just like, wow, at 10 years old, she was doing janitorial things. That's cool. And that's why I'm still a bit of a neat freak. And I can't, I always clean up after myself. in movie theaters right um so when i was a kid our family decided we needed to make more money and so we

cleaned a few of the buildings on main street after school and everything and then i really liked having money so then i was a waitress at 15 as soon as i could get my card and then i've been working ever since and so for me to go from working and then getting kind of such such a great job on small bill and then going on to saving home like i was i had this rhythm this is what i did i wanted to go out work come home and not spend 10 hours at home like and so it was a bit of a bit difficult not having children but changing that pattern right and redefining myself yeah and um so getting little bits of work is kind of nice again yeah i like i like to do it i like to tell stories i like to create you like working you like being on set you like people i feel like it's a bad thing

to say I actually really like working. No, I think it's a beautiful thing to say. I think you're very grateful and it seems like, you know, work makes you happy. As it should, you if you're lucky enough to do it, to have a job that makes you happy, you won the jackpot in a lot of ways. Yeah. Right? And again, like I love my boys there, the loves of my life.

How many? How many boys? I have three. My eldest is 22 and then my two littlest babies are five and seven. but what ends up happening and most women will say this too is if you don't have a deflection if you don't have another thing that is yours at some point you just keep giving more of you you you to an intensity where you kind of lose yourself a little bit you lose what you even liked to before and it actually isn't healthy for them either they may not see it the young ones don't see it at the time

because they're just like little taking um minions more more more more I can do more yeah more for mummy you know but at some point they don't like it I either it's not healthy for them yeah so i'm in that kind of transition too because the five and seven year old are in school now and they're getting past that mommy phase i've been reading books let's see this one is called the boy crisis wow look at you educating yourself that's cool so this is to educate you on what to expect and that sort of thing typical for boys right now all those kinds of things but also to what to expect with their growth process. So from zero to six, it's all about mommy and she teaches them about empathy and interaction

and socializing and being okay with their emotions and all of those things. Now, this is very stereotypical. It can be males can teach this to you. But then once they get into like the seven to 12, then they start looking in, okay, what can dad teach me about the world, right? So we're just in a transition that way. Are you saying daddy becomes the favorite? Is that what you're saying? It's mommy and then daddy and kind of goes back and forth. So. he's he's the favorite up until the point they need to like throw up or garbage and that's mom I remember there's a kid across the street you know like yeah inside of you is brought to you by rocket money I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money period it's a personal

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show. I remember across the street from my house growing up, there was this couple and they had this little girl. She was tiny. And I remember she was picking her nose. And the dad goes, there you go. There you go. Get it. Get it. Roll it. Roll it. Now give it to mommy. I just remember that. They do that too. My kids still give me their biggers. They do. I got a booger. And now I'm getting to the point where I'm going to the point where I'm It's like, okay, there's seven-five. So we're going to have tissues now. Here's your tissue.

It's a little bit gross. But, like, yeah, if they were in an emergent situation, mummy is the garbage count and the booger holder. Whatever. Well, how do you, yeah? I went somewhere. But my point is I was excited to have some work. Well, how do you balance, though?

How do you, like, you get a job? And then how do you study and learn your lines and do your work and then balance the mom life with the kids? Obviously, the 22-year-old can help out to get baby. sit sometimes when you need it or watch them and you got you got dad who could you know take them here does too so it's like it's a full the fit the person that goes the most kind of crazy with it is me because again i'm still trying to detach i'm a very attached parent and so now i'll go oh my gosh i'm going to work 16 hours a day and maybe only see them at night time you know and i go through that kind of scenario otherwise i i'm a crammer now like sorry homework i do study

it but right well i mean when you're juggling kids or life or whatever you're also you know you're kind of studying as you go the best you can i mean you know there's a lot of downtime on set doesn't mean so you learn wait wait wait so you can learn your lines on set yeah i just i'm always baffled by that how someone can go on set it's just a muscle but it's not that i don't do before here's what happens is i usually read it a few times right so i know what i'm doing and i kind of have my own process of figuring out what the character wants where they're going to be at because, you know, they never shoot sequentially, as you know that, right? And then I hone it down to what's happening each day.

And then I know kind of review it. But if, yeah, if I get behind, like, when I was working on saving hope and you're, like, Tom always talks about this, too. It's like, if you're in every scene every day, um, you can't memorize. You can't, like, you just, you just can't catch up in the same way. Like, you want so badly to go to sleep when you go home that you maybe review your seven scenes. But the next day, it's like there would be moments where I'd be blocked. And then when they're lighting, I'm back there just gulping it back, like memorizing it as fast as I can.

But doesn't that create a lot of anxiety for you on set or no? My brain likes to work that way. That's the strangeness is the more that I work, the more frenetic I am, the more I'm able to do a million things at once, the more calm my brain is. Wow. My brain goes faster if I have to sit. Right. So you don't like sitting. and you like to always be doing something.

I do. And in talking to my therapist the other day. Yes. A lovely lady that I talked to. What did your therapist have to say about that? We said to me, Erica, one of the things that your ego does to avoid the discomfort of change in your life is you've created tasks for yourself, haven't you? I was like, oh, yes, I've done so many things today. And I clean the whole house, and I've, like, rearranged everything.

And then surely there's something I can do for Lachlan and Liam during the day. So to actually sit and go, I'm going to do my, today I did a yoga class, and then not really do much, my brain is like, but I have these things that could be done. And I'm talking about like getting your health care cards with the right addresses on them, getting your nexus card going, like stuff that the world wouldn't end if you couldn't do it that day. Right. But we did it a huge thing. Do you procrastinate? Do they get, does every day you have a list of things to do and they get pushed to Tuesday, to Wednesday, to Thursday? I have different kinds of lists, so I have priority lists, then backup lists, and then, like, if I'm bored lists.

Ryan, do you have lists? You do. What are you on your lists every day? You have lists every day. This is Ryan my engineer who you can't see, but you can hear his beautiful voice. Hi, Ryan. Hi. Not every day.

On weekends, for sure. I have, like, oh, you got to replace the parking sticker at the front when you're on your a car's front window or just like, you know, I want to clean my desk or, um, yeah, uh, just little things like that little things to rearrange that tick boxes in your brain so that , uh, you're more at ease. Yeah. And do you accomplish these things that you guys, do you feel a sense of accomplishment? Do you feel fulfilled after you get these? Isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, you feel better, right? It's productive today. Like, some of it really is practical. You have to call if they have canceled your credit card on you or you have to. That happened?

sit on the line and deal with your cell phone if it's breaking or broken or, you know, especially with moms or dads, if dads take on the role, like basically to organize a kid's schedule is hell. So if I want to do summer camp, I have to start looking at summer camps now. It's March. They fill up. So there's a random competition between all these crazy ladies, myself included, online, going, what are the coolest camps that my kids could go to this summer?

and so you're always It's just never ending It's you know my therapist once said Michael you're trying to get your inbox to be empty Your inbox will never be empty There's always shift coming in You have lists too I have lists I have lists and I really try to get them done

I do push things like today I canceled a physical I just said I could do it next week I just I don't want I didn't sleep that well So I know so whatever But there is a sense of accomplishment when I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is I make my bed I know it sounds trivial

but I make my bed I drink water I you do it too Erica yeah and you feel good if you don't do it you feel like what a lazy shit yeah except it usually I'm like

what a lazy motherfucker like I'm like way for angry really are you're hard on yourself anything you can't even make your goddamn bad do you do that do you yell at yourself yeah

you do are you hard on your heart you're hard on yourself you're that's that's always been a case with you you're always really hard on yourself i think so it's um some people would say i'm probably not hard enough on myself but i would say the voice in my head is is much more intense than like okay if it didn't happen it's okay like if i didn't make my bed that's okay right well what about what about like auditions and things like you still audition for things how do you deal with rejection because 99% of this business is rejection.

I regret all the time. I don't care anymore. Do you really not care anymore? I guess it whatever. Man, I can't do anything about it. All I can do is try not to be shitty when I go in. Try not, try to be in somewhat decent shape and not look too old. Those are my, that's my bar.

Don't look too fat or too old. And please try to do a good job when you're in there. I can't control the rest of it. That's true. If you can't control it, shelve it. I used to noodle about it or, like, the minute I had an audition, that would be in my mind. Like, I'd be thinking about whether I was going to get it or not. And now I forget half the time if I've auditioned for stuff.

Oh, yeah, I did that. Because now, the other way of looking at that is, is she's in or does she just never get auditions that she goes out for anymore? So she just, like. Which one is it? It's the second one. No, it's not. You get stuff. You get stuff.

You get offers. You get offers. I have offers. But if I were to like really look at, I was talking to somebody who's asking for acting acting acting advice, which I always think is hard. Because I think it's such a hard business and so much stuff is, is lottery and like placement and people you know. And then if you're in the door and you happen to be pleasant and somewhat good at your job,

you may get, it might get hired again, right? Yeah. But there's so little that you control. So I said to them, you almost have to love it to a point of a bit of masochism. Like, it's like you can't stop yourself. from doing it again and again and again, you know? So like, same thing with auditions. I don't know how many years is gone since stuff I've auditioned for.

I haven't gone, but it's been years. So who's the masochist? Like, I just go, it's like running and hitting your head against a wall. Oh, sure, I'll do it again. Yeah. Sure, I'll do it again. I mean, that's all I can say to people that are like, how do I get into the business? You just keep doing it because you love it.

And then you find caveats, like different types of ways that you can enjoy it. I'm talking about people you know always tell me that I have a good voice and I should do more voiceover work and I'm like yeah I know okay thanks I'm oh for 63 in my last 63 auditions my voiceover auditions I just never get them I never get them and you don't even know why because I just it's so random it's so random I remember sitting in for like some of the stuff on saving hope and I was just like some of the reasons for people not to get hired it was just crushing to me I was just like that person just like they did the best they could they did a great job I know exactly what they were going through when they went out and it was like me I just don't like him

you just don't like him like that's that's the reason somebody doesn't get a job I'll tell you what they say that they say that when you walk into a room they know immediately if you're right for the part or not you walk in like nope let's just read them and go Get him going. I don't care how hard he worked for it. I don't get, unless you're, you know, Gary Oldman and you go in there and all a sudden you give them something that they're like, wait a minute. This guy just gave us such brilliance that we have to consider it.

But they say they know. If you have a hit for it or you're not. Or you happen to be like I knew that there was a guy that was around for a while that like he would hire these girls and they all looked this similar. And it was just like they were hot like his wife. And so they all got jobs. And not that they weren't talented. They surely were good at their job.

But they also happened to remind him. of his wife and then a few years later he didn't like his wife and so you wouldn't want to remind him of his wife like those are random things as an actor you can't control wow I didn't think about it like that right yeah I mean it reminds you like some hot girlfriend from the 20s

and then just like I just like her right she's crazy well you worked we talked about this in the last podcast but you were a casting director you were like right you were a casting director and a casting director assistant or what was it No, I worked in background. You worked in background, so you would hire background people?

So, like, the casting agent, the background casting agent would call me and be like, I need this many people that look kind of like this to work in this kind of scene. And then I would go through my roster and I'd find who I could. And then I would put them on a set. Mostly, usually small, though. Really? Yeah, because we were a modeling agency and they only wanted pretty people in there. Reading, playing, learning.

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Follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform. Jeez, Smallville. Yeah, because they had... What's her name on there? They had, what's her name from Lost? Remember what's her name? Yeah. Evangeline.

Did you hire her as an extra? You did? Yeah. You were the one who said, Evangeline Lily. What is her name? Evangeline Lily is, she's pretty. She needs to be on the show. So she was an extra.

She was background while we were filming Smallville. Yeah. Damn. Do you want to know something crazy? Please. This is another crazy thing about the business. I was in L.A. For pilot season when L.S. came out.

And up here, they wanted to see me for Lost, but I wasn't here. And so they convinced Angelina and Lily to go into the audition. Really? You could have been un-lost. But you got Lois Lane. So I was fine. But my point is I have to get over that. There was a moment where I was just like, son of a bitch.

But, well, you, I think you learn as you get older, as you get older. But again, that's putting all of the scenarios as if you could walk in and be that look. Like, it was all meant to be her thing. But as an actor, you can get your head totally twisted around or the idea and sell yourself on the sentimentality that, but had I gone in for that audition, I would have had the chance. Yeah. Yeah. I honestly. I don't know if you've ever had that or, like, been driving around all day.

see a billboard and you're like saying well did i talk about this maybe i didn't maybe i did i'm sure in 204 episodes i've talked about it but under four michael something like that but what i do is i do the audition and they give you what's called sides so you have the sides that you read it's the pages that you read and the second i'm done i turn out i walk out of the casting director's door and i rip up the sides and i throw them away and i walk out you do that too absolutely yeah I didn't have done scenes on set. It's like it's fucking done. It's done.

Get it out of your head next. Next. What's next? Because it essentially doesn't matter anywhere. What's the most effed up story you've had as a casting director or as, you know, in casting, working in casting. Have you seen some crazy shit? No, because I never worked in casting per se other than... Well, it's background.

You never had any background, like, complain? Just not show up. always be texting me at like 3 a.m. I can't go in. I'm drunk. And I was like, ah. I just think I think the weirdest thing was casting people and then ending up on small. Yeah. Again, you've told that story, but I just, I find it so. I don't have any other stories. But I find it baffling. Weird shit. What are the odds? Someone whose, whose job it is to cast background or get background to fill it up on the shows. Yeah. gets that opportunity. How did you get that opportunity again? I can't remember.

Well, I was still auditioning for stuff when I was working as an agent, right? And nothing was happening, really? Nothing was happening. I was just doing like the regular shows in town, like the Stargate and Chris Isaac show and all that, right? So just trying to build up my union status. And then, you know, who saw me audition for something. And he brought me to L.A. was David Nutter. Nutter. He saw you audition and yeah, he's something else. I'm just slogging it away again at Park Royal. I was sitting out of the bus stop and it was raining and I was like, fuck, I'm tired of doing this. Were you going to quit? Where are you thinking you going to quit acting?

Yeah, I was just like I was done. I probably would kind of like keep going in, but be like kind of like half dead fish. It's just almost, almost gone. Right. And then he said, he, he texted or emailed, I guess. manager and said you're going to go down to test for Tarzan and I went down to test for Tarzan as the sister which I don't fit that role at all and then they put me on a signing on a deal but I didn't know what that was either Warner Brothers holding deal right I just remember sitting in the universal hotel going they're not right for this but they're going to put you on a holding deal and everybody's freaking out and I was like I didn't get the part like what are you guys doing I was still like way behind on on the significance of that right and then I did a little pilot called Grammar Sea Park.

And I got the lead in that one. So I think it's just they knew me so that by the time it came around that Smallville was auditioning, they brought me in. How many times did you read for it? Smallville. Don't say once. Once for Corrine and once for Greg. But then I had to test.

Then you had the test. Yeah. And then we were arguing about this on the weekend. I still had to get the pass from Walling. the week the two days before we are you serious he says no no no but it was like totally true so you had to pass casting you had to pass gregg beam and executive producer smallville you had to then go test for the network and the studio fly down l.a yeah so I tested for them I came back Saturday had to come to the the studio and do tests you know for wardrobe and hair and all that

and then they're like oh and while I'm gonna call them on Tom's here and you're gonna read a scene with him. And I was like, okay, cool. It's neat. It'll help for Monday's work. But I was still kind of scared. And of course, then, you know, being somebody who's cast the show, and then I'd seen him on the show, and I walked out, and he was lumbering in. And I just turned and walked right into him. I was like, oh, it's just so weird for me. And we went in and read the scene. I thought, okay, that went great. But I know that was my final gauntlet. You what? The final gauntlet. Like, if he had hated me, he get a punted me. That was it. So you were arguing about it. He says there's no way I could have. And I was like, bullshit, Tom, you're being. If he said I have no chemistry with her guys, this isn't working, they wouldn't have done it.

Yeah. And here I was, again, chick from Alberta, no clue thinking I got the job. We'll just read. It'll be nice. And I'll see him on Monday. But I didn't know. Like, if he thought it was like dog meat or something, really super annoying. I mean, I know I'm annoying, but annoying to the part of like, I couldn't bear to be in a room with this person.

I don't think you're annoying at all. I think you're really quirky and love. lovable. You're quirky. Let's redefine that as really high energy. Tom said that many times on the weekend. And I met this very high energy. Wait a minute. So you just saw Tom, you were in Vancouver for an autograph signing for a con. And he told you you have very high energy. Yeah. Well, he was talking in the panel, right? And he was talking about how did you guys get met and you meet each other? And then he talked about my high energy. I never would have thought you, I'm really chilly, you guys.

I think, do you go back and forth? Can you be by yourself? Are you good at being by yourself? Yes. For how long? Long time. When I was in saving hope, I didn't talk to anybody for like really. And then it got a little dark.

But I would go out into the movies. I'd go to restaurants where myself. I could sit inside and watch tons of Netflix and read books. And I can spend a lot of time alone. Really? Yeah. You like it? I do.

But I think. when I'm going into the world of like, say, having to do the podcast or, um, a TV show or whatever, then maybe I kind of make myself more jacked up or more manic or whatever. Do you think you do that inadvertently, like subconsciously? Mm-hmm. You do. Yeah. Let's see.

Let's see if I can show you a little bit more of call America for that. No, no, no. She's bored. I like this one that goes, no, no, I think you're, you're fun. Why would you want to change who you are? I think I've had that problem my whole life. I think I've always been like, fuck, I'm the annoying, obnoxious, loud guy,

the center of attention, this. I'm going to be the cool guy. Well, Rosenbaum, that's not in the cards for you. You just weren't meant to be the cool guy. You'll never be the cool guy. You can just be yourself. Listen to your voice. It's cool guy voice.

Yeah, this is cool guy. I'd be like, hey, man, what's that, man? I'm at a club. I'd listen to your radio show. I mean, I know you do a podcast, but you could do like a morning wake up or an evening. Hey, KTLA 107.5. Yeah, we're,

like an evening meditation thing i'd listen to that hey folks it's meditation with michael first we want to close our eyes close your eyes take a deep breath i immediately want to listen and exhale you're doing this for you it's a whole other avenue what do you think ryan should we do a meditative uh one hour that i could put out there in the app space that you could listen to my voice for an How many people would listen to it? I don't think so. Well, guys, write in. Tell me if you want an app.

Rosencom. Rosencom. Instead of Rosenbaum. If you want the app, maybe I'll do it. Maybe I'll put it on iTunes or whatever. And, you know, it'll be for fun. Breathe. I just have to write it out.

And then. Don't go breathe. No, but they do that. They go, there's nothing to worry about. It's just you. That's it. It's just you. It's just you and me.

I would write something better. I would write. Alone. You're all alone. It's just me and you. Breathe deeply. 20th anniversary of Smallville just happened. And, you know, they got the Blu-Rays out and, you know, all the stuff.

Tom and I did some press. And what do you think? It's pretty crazy. It's been 20 years. Now, you got it involved. in what season five or four four season four so you were with the show for seven six out of the ten years seven years seven what do you remember what good memories do you honestly have like did you for that come to you right away not that you have to search for but what are some some moments

that you have that you remember i was happy every time i was walking from my trailer to set i was excited. I remember marching there in my little fry boots ready to march in and just be in the studio and have fun. I mean, I really literally loved it. The only times I was ever really pissed is when it was three

in the morning and I was in this strapless dress and I was cold and welling or you were wearing like fucking suits. But otherwise, I loved it. I was so excited to go in and do the different scenes. I thought the sets were like when I first got there and I looked at these

real sets because I had no idea what to expect. I thought it would be like, ting, and like a tin can or something and a couple of chairs, right? And then you walk in and it's a real barn and it's a real house and, you know, the vibe of everybody wanting to produce and do something really cool together

that was excited about it. I thought that that was really neat. I liked the stunts. I love that every time I went in, I did something different. Like every episode, I was doing something completely different. Now, in the first couple of years, I was like, I called myself the babum-bum-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, which was like, basically.

Say the punch line, ha-ha, boom. Yeah, like there would be a really important heartfelt scene, and then I would come in at the end and ruin it somehow, and then I'd march out, which was fine. I was like, that was probably all I could handle at that point. I was so stressed out. I love the small-velle back lot. The back lot.

The back lot. When we got closer to the last few years, actually had a full lot in the back. It made me feel like we were on the Warner Brothers studio. You liked that. I loved it. We could do all our walk and talks. And I honestly,

in that cheesy person, I really loved it. You just enjoyed it all. But I remember you very... I think cold. That stuff annoyed me. Yeah, of course, the rain and cold of Vancouver.

But I remember you also being incredibly lovable, charming, great to work with. But I do remember that nervousness sometimes. times that's a little bit the pressure no it was the pressure you put on yourself it didn't it didn't affect anybody else it was just affecting you in your head because you just had to be and I have to be great I have to be great it has to be great it has to be great I have to get this I want I don't want to let people down I don't want to let it's just like it's it's it's it's that insecure I've talked about it with a lot of people and you know you try to again you try to be

cool and you're like all right I did I do a good job am I sure you got it and are we moving on are you sure you want to move on you're going shut the fuck up but you i'm talking about me i had that i had that all the time and it part of it now i realize and is my way of and and you know you're hearing this people talk about this all the time but you know you go through therapy and you realize so much stuff um from your childhood and it isn't even the fault of the parent trying to do things or not doing things it's it's a child's response to their environment my environment was very rule-based and very much get along with everybody be a good person never put anybody out and if you're paid to do a job you do it

right which means in my mind because i'm a perfectionist don't fucking make a mistake they paid you to know these lines and if you don't know that when you come on what the fuck is your problem you should know them that was your job you signed on to do it so um little intense but that's just part of that was your mentality because that's what all you knew and also you know i joined into the show being a chick from Alberta who's not just trying to get in the business and then I'm working on a show this everybody's doing so well

you know you've got Kristen who's just Kristen she's like a walking talking breathing non and like she's like she looks like she's walked out of a magazine right and so I'm so intimidated by her first and foremost and she's been working forever and she's so composed within herself

and of course later if anybody watches her stuff you realize that some of that is her own ability to socialize and those kinds of things. But all I saw, I was, I was quite intimidated. And then you guys are from L.A., big actors from L.A. And, you know, so I kind of always felt like I was off a step, right, to prove myself. Did you feel like you didn't belong?

Not in as much as you guys not being nice to me, but I really felt like I had stepped into a space like, I kept going, like, how am I here? That's, but let me tell you. How do I still stay here? And I'm not saying that from a space of like... No, it's understandable where you were coming from. I really didn't get it. I kept feeling like I was not...

How did I land in this thing? And yet, oh, crap, I got to work. They're calling me. You were incredibly grateful, but at the same time, why am I here? I've been there where I'm like, oh, my God, they cast me. I did it. I did it. I did it. I fooled them. I fooled them.

And we hear that all the time from actors. I fooled them. and they're going to fire me now. Now I've got to be even better. I've got to be on my feet. I've got to, you know. Yeah, or like having no clue what it is. And they'll be like, that was so great.

I just loved it. And I'm like, I don't know what happened there, what they liked it. Okay. You were always good, though. It paid off. Whatever, whatever you did, whatever got you there, whatever stress and it sucks and the anxiety and everything. On screen, you never would have known. You look so confident that you just, I thought you tore it up.

I thought you were, you popped. Well, definitely, you know, when you do end up watching yourself, there are times or I don't know if you even watch like 10 years ago, you on a screen and 10 years, like now on a screen if you ever see any blips of your work. You can definitely be like, oh, whoa, she was still learning a lot of stuff there. But, you know, it was also. Not me. Not me. I look at it and go, man, you were good. What happened? It was so good.

What happened, man. Yes. And then part of me goes, you still got it. Come on. You still got it. signed you. You got it. You just got to show it. You got to want it. You got to want it. You know, I don't want to get into it too much, but it's kind of like, you know, I don't think we got into it really last time. But, you know, you always said Allison was really nice to you, right? Worked with Allison, man. How honest do you want me to be? I want you to be really honest. I don't, I don't want you to call me up, though, afterwards and go cut that out. Oh, okay. no but feel free to talk about it but like you know were you that because she came to me everybody knows it she came up to me and well and you go oh rosamam you'd really excel in this

there's this you know self-help thing and blah blah blah and I go yeah yeah I don't know I looked at Tom and kidding jokingly I just said it sounds like a cold doesn't but like you know I didn't do it but like did she ever try to get you to do it yes she did because she try to get Laura as well. She tried to recruit Laura. I said the idea of sharing all of my personal secrets brings up a visceral reaction in me as well. Wait a minute. So that came up right away that like this is no no this like well she didn't bring it up into the latter part of the seasons right right you know we had an interesting relationship me and Allison right I think I think she felt like she wanted to like

me. I think she felt like she wanted people to see that she liked me. But I don't think she really, I don't think having me there was something that was great for her. So she thought maybe you say that potentially maybe she was a little threatened by oh, there's this new girl that just came on the podcast show on the show on the show. But I just, I found that there was too many little idiosyncrasies of things that would happen where I'd walk away. I was like, I thought we got along today and then I would go home and I'd be like, but that was super mean, but nobody would see it, right? Right.

So there is all sorts of those little things that would go on. So, and perhaps it was something that she was working on too, and that's why some days it would be like she's maybe really working on trying, maybe we're just two different people, I don't know, but it would be like some days, it would be like she was super happy to see me and super friendly. And other days, you know, it was not quite the same. Right. right and uh and so yeah we weren't ever really close but she liked you enough or hated you

enough to invite you into the into the i guess that yeah i think that was about her like to be honest i think she wanted to she liked being in that position of of knowledge and and wanting to recruit and bring people in i think she obviously really believed in it um but i just i have to say i just didn't really trust her motivation when it came to me right that's you just felt like she didn't really like you she didn't really connect with you it sounds like it's a good oh somebody didn't like me and I'm like in kindergarten or something it's just the vibe that she gave me was not something that I thought oh I feel like I can really trust you with myself and my innermost thoughts right that makes perfect sense

okay so that's kind of our main experience and then yeah she did approach me to talk about it and should I should do this thing and it'd be really good for me and um it was too reminiscent of I didn't trust it and it was too reminiscent of like a very right, right wing version of my upbringing, which was confess your sentence to your, everybody around you to keep you on the straight and narrow, but you're talking about humans there. So it's never going to be this glorified idea of helping each other. It's going to be like, I know your shit. Let's talk about each other.

So I didn't find that to be somewhere I wanted to put myself. Right. You know what I mean? I'll get my therapist or I'll get someone else, but I'm not going to join a group of people and then talk about my personal shit with them i'll tell you it sounds you know the the first time when she did mention i thought oh you know there's a bunch of other people they're very supportive you build confidence you build all these things you learn about yourself you know the idea sounds kind of cool yeah that's how they get you right like that's how they get you

work through your your shit and have a sense of community and i think we're all looking for that we're all looking for a sense of community so we're all a little gullible a little naive but i had been as a child growing up in a really conservative Christian environment, seen and been party to those kind of experiences where you confess your deep, dark secrets, and you promise to uphold each other and pray for each other and help each other. And it's just not a human possibility to you. Yeah. Like not with that many people.

You might have one or two confidants where you could say, okay, this is something you really want to work through and I'd like you to hold me accountable because I have a problem with this but on mass I've never seen that work well I've always seen that used as a tool to manipulate people or if not manipulate then the larger group of people would shame some some people because of that so I'd seen that in my own life and I'd seen that with my family and and so I was like not for me not for me yeah no I understand that makes that makes perfect sense. It makes perfect sense. Who is your toughest critic in your family? I'm talking mom, dad, brothers. What is it? Who is the one that you try to impress, that you try to like, you hope

you like your work, that they don't say much to you about your work, that is the hardest? Because we all have somebody in our family. Mine is my dad. He's just like, you know, he doesn't say much of anything at all. This sounds like a cop-out. They're all. supportive of my work, but I would say the voice in my head of the person that I always, that would be my mother. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I think that letting her down by either, like, you know, I talked about Howard Stern or doing a part that was, you know, when I was a kid, doing something topless, doing those, those kinds of things I was always worried to let her down. Even though I know nothing I did do would let her down, but she's my voice in my head.

Right. you know mom yeah makes sense all right this the best lady i know i'm not knocking her but she definitely is like when that stuff happened i went whoa i just went against like every single thing my mom tried to program into me not just well we got to go our own way fleetwood max said it you got to go your own way and sometimes along that way you're going to fall or sometimes you're going to look like an idiot or sometimes you're going to be a little embarrassed and that's all part of it i'm i'm mortified half my half of my life But, you know, the thing with my mom, which I find interesting is, like, I worry about all those things, but then she's my deepest supporter, if that makes sense.

Yeah. So it's almost like I've imagined, I've put her in this space of judgment, but that she's not actually in that space. That's my own judgment. And she's, like, any time I've talked to her about any of those kinds of things, like her, her support and her love and her understanding of humanity and stuff is just, boom, it's there. Right. So, as you know, probably, I don't know if you figured out when you do. If you, I don't know if you do it, but I'm currently doing therapy. It's like the narrative that you create is your narrative.

Right. And it may not actually be what's happening, right? Yeah. And someone else's head. Yeah. You kind of put it there. Huh. That makes me think a lot.

By the way. With all your pieces and all the things that you're, you know, insecurities. And then the cool thing is is once you start realizing that, then you can kind of go, oh, I'm putting this on there because this is. a thing for me. Right. I didn't know you were topless in something. Oh, yeah, it was awful. Really? Yeah. You hated it. How many years ago was that? I was 20. It was my last credit to get in the union. Wow. Were you nervous? That had to be crazy. I was and you know what? I have to say I

didn't want to do it. It was not a pleasant experience for me and I would challenge anybody who's young who feels like they don't want to do that stuff. I don't know anybody who would have the Hutz but to do it. Maybe the girls of this generation. and more power to them. But I remember I was kissing my on-screen boyfriend, Matt, who's just a lovely person. And I was crying. And I was like, I don't want to do this.

He's like, you don't have to do this. He's like, you don't have to do this. And then I just continued to do the scene where I like tease him and I go out into the water. And I, right? Right. And it looked awful. It was terrible.

And, you know, they didn't tell me about, like, it was supposed to be topless. And then it ended up being, oh, let's take your pants off to you. And then I hadn't prepared myself for that. So then I was wearing really. appropriate underwear so like it ended up being like a full on basically they took advantage of you sounds like and then i find out later from all my friends who are in in um crew and everything they're

like oh yeah we we had our stunt group one guy was carrying a hose the other guy was carrying like it wasn't a close sad i didn't know about that i was so fucking scared oh my thing but i'm so driven too so my brain was like six credits i'm in the union then i can be a union background performer and I can make $20 an hour and then I can try to audition for bigger parts and so my brain just went fucking do it Eric I like to get past all the stuff from your childhood this is your awful and now I realize no that's probably part of my makeup like I really didn't want to do that thing if you can go back in time you would not never done it I would have had the I would have said no you would have said no yeah I know a lot of women sit here

and go no regrets I learned yeah I learned from it but I wish and what I'm learning now is that it's okay to use your voice. Say what you need to say. Don't get a shit about whether it's going to upset the day or upset a bunch of people on set. If it's not your thing, it's not your thing. And that's what I would have told my 20-year-old self. Wow. Words of wisdom. I like that. I like that. No, it is. It's smart. Do it, but. This is shit talking with Erica Durrance. These are questions from my lovely patrons. go to patreon.com slash inside of you and join Patreon and support the podcast

even more. These are questions. Here we go. Sophie M. If there were a book of your life, what would the title be? This is funny. I don't know. How about Wild Child? Yeah, I like that a lot better. Wild Child is a Jim Morrison book about Jim Morrison. Wild Child.

Wild Child. Wild child. Leanne, serious question from one Canadian to another milk in a carton or bag bag they say bag carton carton milk in a carton except for when i was a kid it was in a bag because we got it right from the cows or on rough rough times we had powdered milk oh no i have not those are the rough days where you're just like this is what we got left let's make us mix up this pot it's not that bad Dana s where is your happy place when the world is too loud besides the bathtub where's your happy place

it could be in the bed reading a book it could be in a park it could be uh it could be wherever it could be back home with your mom and dad it could be anywhere oh my god when the world is too loud happy um therapy i have a bench hidden in the woods somewhere that i sit on you do yeah and how often do you go to that bench well it depends on how many times i need to be you know how a few times a week and you spend an hour there as much time as i can and i just stir it's that peaceful that happy it's that happy of a place yeah yeah and i it's because the trees just go on and on and on and on that's awesome that's really cool i don't have a bench in the woods.

But, you know, that's kind of the romantic version. Sometimes my happy place when I'm at home and my kids are here and they're sleeping is to go into my closet, shut the door, and listen to some music. Wow. Ryan, what's your happy place? Let it flow. What's Ryan's happy place? I don't have to think about that.

There was a time in my 20s. I lived near the beach. and I would take myself down to the burrito place I'd go grab a burrito and I'd sit on the beach and eat my burrito That was a great time Just by yourself, by your lonesome Yeah, out in Plyde L Ray

What's the place called, do you remember? Yeah, it's just the beach out in Plyde L Ray Or the burrito place I think it's still there It's called Signor G's Signor G's. It was just there I like it

Yeah I'm trying to think of my happy place You know, in my guest room bed About, you know, taking a nap with my dog there's just something just peaceful and I just sock out for 40 minutes or an hour and just or just like lie there with my dog just beautiful there's something about the animal yeah each difference you know my therapist my

somatic therapist I have different therapists for different things but my somatic therapist says try breathing with your dog like the same breaths as your dog kind of get in sync so you lie there with your dog and you try to do it and it's it's kind of peaceful It's kind of peaceful with an animal. I don't know. Maybe it sounds weird. They know how to, they know how to do that. And it's a strange thing to say, but I'm reading a book called breathe,

and it's talking about how over the course of a very, very long time, the humans have forgotten how to breathe properly. Even to the point that it's changed our evolution, it's changed the shape of our jaws and inside our nasal chambers. And that's part of why some people, like, they go to sleep therapy clinics, all that kind of stuff, because the actual inside of our skulls have changed because of our lack of ability to breathe because we've allowed whatever it is in our life to keep us from breathing.

And I wonder if there's something innately like with your dog or something that they just know I do it right. And we like our emotions or spaces we stop. We do shallow breath or short breath or we hold our breath or. I don't breathe enough. I do not breathe enough. A lot of times during this interview, I'm sitting here. And sometimes I'm just, I actually think about it.

I go, breathe. Yeah, we forget to do it. So there's a book called Breathe, which you should read. Breathe with me. Raj, tell me about the worst haircut you ever got. What the hell, Rod. I've had so many bad ones. Yeah.

When I was in grade 11, I loved having short hair. I had short hair for a really long time in high school. And when I was in grade 12, I got a haircut. And as it grew out, I started, I looked like one of the Beatles. Perfect. Which one, Ringo? So, like, it was just like that bowl cut. And that's what I had for my grad photos.

Beautiful. I'm going to see that picture. You're going to have to send it to me, please. I'll see if I can find it. It's pretty spectacular. Lisa H. Lois was a big white snake fan in Smallville. I didn't know this.

Yeah. What about you? What about you? What episode where apparently. she made him a little shot. White snake, they sing, is this love? I listen to. Is this love that I'm feeling?

Is this the love? And they also sing, what's that other song? Isn't it? Here I go again. Oh, I love that one. Isn't that it? Yeah, that's it. I went to the phase where I played that over and over and over again when I was running. Bob Kay, no question.

Just a thank you for your honesty and your sincerity. Am I severity? Sincerity, not your severity. Bob, he says thank you for your honesty and your sobriety. No, no, no, your sincerity. Thank me for my severity, but I am very severe at times. So thank you, Bob. You're a very sincere person.

I think when you say hi to someone, when you haven't seen something, you're very genuine. You're very sincere. Do you feel the same? about me? Actually, yes. That's a selfish question. Really? I actually do.

Well, I do care. When I ask you how you are, I really do care. Yeah, that's why you do well in your podcast. Yeah. I don't care about everybody I interview. Sometimes I'm just like, all right, whatever. But most people, they open up. You open up.

You share stories. And then, you know what I notice? It's not always the sign of good character is not that people that are good to, good to everybody on mass. It's the people that are good to the ones that look like they have. They're a little bit broken or they're like the outcast

or the broken bird or whatever. And I've witnessed countless times where we've been at conventions or with people on set or be you'll, you can it's like you hone in on anybody that like a little bit uncomfortable and you go right to them. That's the kind of characters for me.

I made me tear up a little bit. I don't know why. I made me tear up a little bit because I do always love going be lying. I can see you literally feel it here and you go to those people and I think it's magnificent. I just feel there's something in me that goes I'm going to make that person feel good

somehow I'm going to do it. I just need to I want to, I have to. That's funny that you said it. No one's ever really said that to me. That's weird but I think that I'm like the major characteristics that I see of here. Well now I Your kindness but kindness like people go oh be kind

It's kind to the ones that need it the most. Yeah, that's a unique thing. But I appreciate that. And I'm not going to, I'm going to take that compliment. I'm going to keep it inside. And I'm not going to say, no, come on. And you know, people always do that. People always go, oh, you're so pretty.

You're like, no, stop. My hair was bad. I didn't shower. I didn't even. You know, no, you look really pretty, really. Just take it. Take the compliment. Ryan, you look really handsome.

You shaved. You look really handsome, buddy. Yeah, like, what would be the worst thing in the world? as we age just go oh thank you thank you thank you a restful settled place to be yeah well it does after it you feel like I got to visit the dead space quick look into a new topic they just complimented me and I can't take it when do you go film um March 21st for how long just for the three weeks where Vancouver Vancouver you get to be home you get to be home yeah what a tree

I know. I'm very excited about it. Is Hallmark a negotiable thing with your contract? Can you negotiate with them? Or they just said, this is your salary. This is what you get. Here we go. We can negotiate, but everything is within reason. And I think it's also given each project, right?

So I kind of look at the project, like, how high are you on the list, right? Three, four, five down the list, you're not going to be like, I mean, this is my rate. Are you number one? And this one, I think so. Oh, number one gets to. negotiate. But I'm not quite sure because I haven't, there's another character in there that actually I think should take precedence, but I don't know if it'll end up happening that way. It doesn't matter to me. But what it does matter

is when you go into negotiations, like there used to be this kind of thing in the business where it would be like, I made this once on one movie 10 years ago. I want that. Pay me now for everything is. It's totally a different production company, different studio, different everything. This is how much I'm contributing. This is my rate. And then you work. otherwise I think yeah likely work would diminish quite a bit well this has been awesome I think you're an amazing person inside out I love talking to you I'm glad we did this again

I want to do it every year as a catch up that would be great yeah this is this is so much fun and I love when you open up you're a very open you're a very open person you kind of although I never thought that of you but you I never would have thought it the first time I had you on the podcast before that I was like I don't know if she's wants to talk about anything personally at all and you do you open up about who you are and you know and life and it's just it's it's it's a breath of fresh air really thank you yeah i'll leave it at that i appreciate your time thank you for allowing to be inside of you again my pleasure when am i going to see you i might see you when at a con i guess when we do i don't know

Are you doing Liverpool? I might do Liverpool. Liverpool, then. So we'll have dinner in Liverpool. I would love that. I love it. I love you. Thank you.

Who is it to say that? I love you too. What would you say? How cool is it to say I'll see you in Liverpool. We're going to have dinner. Oh, yeah. That is cool. I'll see in Liverpool.

It's got me it down. You go, I got to say something. My God, that's really cool. It is cool. We'll have dinner in Liverpool. Okay. All right. I love your face.

She's great. She's great. She's like me. She's a bit of a warrior. She gets anxiety. She gets these, you know, and she's, but she's got a huge heart. And thank you, Erica. Thank you for putting up with me. And Ryan, you know, Ryan's here. You've got to put up with him too. Well, that was, she didn't have to look at me the whole time. That's true. She has to look at me, which is not easy all the time. I wish she'd come over in person, though. She wasn't in person. No. Erica, next time you're going to fly to L.A., and you are going to stay in the guest room, and you are going to, if you need a place to stay, that is. And you are going to sit where Ryan's sitting, and I'm going to interview you live. Chris and Kruke, I want to do that with, too. But anyway.

It is nice when they're here. It is. It's nice when they're here. It just gives me an energy. And a lot of people have been coming in. We just had Nathan Phillyen on the show. He'll be, that will be airing soon. And the Judd-Apital, thank you for listening to the Judd-Apital interview.

If you haven't listened to Judd Appetal, it's one of my favorites. And Ryan, one of his favorites. It went really well. I got a lot of good press from that and a lot of positivity. Judd actually messaged me saying how much he enjoyed it. And the response has been great. So that's fantastic. Judd, thank you.

And right now, I want to read the top tier patrons. Also, all the stuff I mentioned before, just listen to the intro about the stages coming up. So you can watch our music and the comments. that I'll be at. They're all in the intro. So if you want to hear where I'm going to be, where you can meet me, all that stuff, go to the intro. Right now, let's do the shout-outs. These are the top-tier patrons. They are the folks that really give back to the podcast and help keep it afloat. Go to patreon.com slash inside of you. And big thanks to my editor, Jason. Jason Elkin, thank you. Love you, buddy. Great job. Ryan here, my right-hand man, Ryan Tejas. And we got

Bryce Mallors, who's my producer, and the ladies over at Westwood, Onewell Cumulus, Agnes, Katrina, and Teresa. Yeah, so thank you. Here we go. Top-tier patrons. You get a shout-out. This is one of the perks by being a top-tier patron. You get your name Shouted Out.

Shout it, shout it out loud. You know, if I had my phone on here, I'd play the beginning a little clip of a new song that's coming out. Oh, is that one of yours? No. That's actually kiss. The band kiss. That's always something I don't know. It's always something in Philadelphia.

Huh? What? What? It's always something in Philadelphia. It's always sunny. In Philadelphia. Here we go. Nancy D. Leah S. Sarah V.

Little Lisa, Y, K. Brian H. Nico P. Robert B. Jason W. Kristen. K. Raj. C. Joshua. D. C.J. P. Jennifer.

N. Stacey. L. Jamal F. J.L. B. Kimberly E. M.E.E. L. Dun. Supremo 99 more Ramira Santiago M correct

Chad W EMP Maya P Maddie Mattie S correct Belinda N Chris H Dave H Sheila G Brad D

Ray H Tabith Tabitha T Tom N Liliana A Talia M Betsy D Chad L Rochelle Marion Meg K Dan N Big Stevie W Angel M Riann and C Corey K Super Sam

Dev Nexon, Michelle A, Jeremy C, Andy T, Cody R. Gavinator, David H. C. Correct, David C. John B, Brandy D, Yvore, Camille, S, the C. Joey. You were right. You went, mm-mm. Oh, M. Correct. That's right. That's Joey M. Willie F, David H. Omar, I, design, O'K. Eugene N. Leah.

Oh, it wasn't Eugene N. Eugene End Yeah Sorry about that Chris P Nikki G Corey Nicole Patricia

Heather L Jake B James B Bobbett Joshua B Tony G Megan T Mel S

Orlando C Orlando Hi Orlando Orlando C and John B Caroline R

Rob E Paul C Christine Ace A S Christine Ace Sarah S Eric H Spring three rs just remember Jennifer R Shane R M R just in case I ask you next time

three hours in a row three and write and arithmetic of patrons yeah um hey guys thank you all I got to say is thank you for listening again to the podcast and I'm not gonna you know I think it gets in my head when people sometimes occasionally leave a comment like that where it's just like you know just get to it or you know I'm like so I want to fast forth or shit. But I don't, this is my fucking show. I don't need to do that. You don't need to tell them that you're fast forwarding. You can just do it. Yeah. It's fine. It's part of it. It's part of it. It's part of it. It's part of it. Just go, just fast forward a little jingle and then you'll know when the interview starts.

I hope you don't fast forward. I hope you listen to the beginnings. You know, in case you want merch or sometimes there's a discount on merch and sometimes there's, you know, concerts that you can go to and things like that. This is true. Don't skip it. Yeah, don't skip the front. Listen to every second. I mean, if there's here, they're my loyals. If you're still here right now listening, you're a loyal because most people have turned me off already. They're done listening to my voice. You got home from work and you just sitting in your car, it's parked and you're waiting for this to end before you go inside. Yes, that's right. So I should hurry up. Or drag it out. Maybe they don't want to go home. I don't want you to go home. I want to stay here and I'm going to talk to you. I want

to keep talking to you. Do you hear me? Thank you for allowing me to be inside of you today and each week. I appreciate you tuning in. Please spread the word, get everybody you know to watch and listen and write a review. And from myself, Michael Rosenbaum here in the Hollywood Hills of California. It was gravelly this time. Was it? Was it? Hey. Hey, I'm Ryan Taz. Run to the Hollywood Hills. Hi, I'm Joe Sal C. Hi, host of the stacking Benjamin's podcast. Today, we're going to talk about what if you came across $50,000. What would you do? Put it into a tax-advantaged retirement account, The mortgage. That's what we do. Make a down payment on a home.

Something nice. Buying a vehicle. A separate bucket for this addition that we're adding. $50,000, I'll buy a new podcast. You'll buy new friends. And we're done. Thanks for playing everybody. We're out of here.

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