Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - STEVEN OGG: The Reality of GTA Trevor, Understanding vs. Feelings & Tapping into Vulnerability

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

Steven Ogg (GTA, Better Call Saul) joins us this week to share his practice of setting boundaries to maintain sanity and the vulnerability he’s able to tap into to deliver dark, emotional performances. Steven talks about the simple pleasures in his life that reflect his mental health and allow understanding to take precedence over feelings. We also talk about lessons learned from leads on The Walking Dead and Better Call Saul, the truth to his opinion of Trevor on GTA, and the joys of… farting. Thank you to our sponsors: ❤️ Betterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/inside 🛍️ Shopify: https://shopify.com/inside ⚕️ Lumen: https://lumen.me/inside 👕 Quince: https://quince.com/inside __________________________________________________ 💖 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/insideofyou 👕 Inside Of You Merch: https://store.insideofyoupodcast.com/ __________________________________________________ Watch or listen to more episodes! 📺 https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/show __________________________________________________ Follow us online! 📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🤣 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@insideofyou_podcast 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/insideofyoupodcast/ 🐦 Twitter: https://twitter.com/insideofyoupod 🌐 Website: https://www.insideofyoupodcast.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bank more oncores when you switch to a Scotia Bank banking package. Learn more at scotiabank.com slash banking packages. Conditions apply. Scotia Bank, you're richer than you think. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Hello, everyone. How are you? Ryan Tejas is in the Hiznouse.

Is that what the kids are saying? Yeah. Yeah, man. Jeez. I don't know. Yeah, it's all come back around. The slang has come back around. Yeah.

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I really enjoyed this. He was so not philosophical, but more just very present. Yeah. Like Stephen is, Stephen Og is super present, super talented. And he goes to the beat of his own drum. Yeah. And I love that about when people do it. I'm very envious of that.

when people just, you know, and obviously, you know, he's got some things going on. I've got some things going on. We all have things going on. But he knows who he is. And that's really special to see. Didn't you get that from him? Yeah. No, he was, he's very comfortable. He's done a lot of growing.

And he's able to have like a very fine like worldview and just perspective on stuff, which I really like. Also Canada. Yeah. Absolutely. And we talked Walking Dead. of course and everything else. He's done a ton of stuff.

But let's just get inside of Stephen Og. It's my point of you. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. When did we meet? That's what I'm trying to figure out. It was because we have many mutual friends. but it was at a con.

Yep. Right? Yeah. Years ago. But where? When? I'm terrible. Are you terrible?

Yeah. Last week. I don't know. I'm literally, something could happen last week or a year ago. I really don't know. But I'm trying to think, like, is it Europe? Was it in Europe? I feel like it was like a-

Germany or Portland, Oregon. It could have been. It could have been Portland, Oregon. It was probably at the height of Walking Dead, too. See, I don't remember that. I just remember, which is what I remember generally about humans and, like, shows and anything I do, is the connection to someone or not. Yeah.

No, that's all it is, connection. You know, I knew you, but we'd never met. Yeah. But all I remember, you were having back pain, your back issues. But we immediately just started having a lovely chat. Yeah. But it wasn't about like, how to call? It was just.

I was just about a moment, a moment. Yeah. And then I was like, all right, we'll see you soon. Yeah, I remember too, but I just can't remember where we are. But what I do love is that you come to my house and you bear gifts. You brought this passion fruit that is probably from your garden, of course, right? I hope so. And this lovely book of poems, catharsis, volume one. catharsis my ars is capable of more than flush i mean you you know when i said when i look at your like when i look at your instagram and stuff it's it's like i what i love is you are you and i don't know how long it's taken to you to to to be as much of you as you are and i don't know how that makes sense but what i'm saying is like it's i feel like your spirit

I feel like you're you're grounded I feel like you feel a lot like you're you're an emotional guy you kind of wear your emotions on your sleeves that's just what I get and I feel like I'm a good judge of character and I feel like you like everyone else we're trying to find purpose we're trying to find all these things and you know things happen along the way which is life someone else is saying you know you know I said something like it's not just about the good things in life it's about the bad things and how you get through them and it's It's, you know, it's not just, I think people think of, you know, life. It's just, it should be all good.

It should be all good. But, you know, but life is about learning. Life is about, you know, and things don't happen our way. But life can also be really good and still be painful as fuck. I mean, that's the thing. And it's also how we experience life. Like I've had this, it's been a lot lately with feeling versus understanding. I'm a feeler.

Yeah. And when I feel, it overtakes the ability to understand. And on a basic level, I mean, like when we were first going to do this, a couple weeks or whatever, and I was like, oh, man, like I was in a, I was just depressed. I was going to say, I felt like you were, you weren't very in a, in a good place. You were trying to work through it. Yeah. And I am very much, I do.

And I just wrote about this, this idea of it. And I'm still not, I don't think I've articulated it well, but it has something to do with. I am adept and good at, uh, getting rid of the. cloudy days the dark days how do you do it then that can be whatever right cloudy days can be depression can be something you're just going through that's a rough time and for me it used to be two weeks fetal position or just like depressed couldn't get out of bed like serious depression i've never had actually i've never been able to and this is what the therapist once said it said you're not uh it was you know the depressed whatever the label was that they used any more than some of the other labels that

were put out there because of the fact that I still do get out of bed like I I have never I the fetal position is more just that feeling yeah I've still I still get up and do something even though I'm feeling like shit it doesn't feel as good and it generally helps get me out of it but I have like that's my morning routine of yoga and spinning on the fucking peloton that's not for any sort of like like it's for here look at my it's it's all for there side effects include looking pretty sweet but it's not like that doesn't serve me any purpose do you know what i'm saying like it's not like i'm hey checking myself out or it has nothing to do with that it has to do with putting my head in a in a bit more of a better place and

i can only get that through because i can't run anymore as you know our body's just some of our body just break fucking down well i always talk about this but i you know it's science it's like if you're sedentary if you're not doing anything it's not just physically you're going to get fat and you're going to get this you're going to have heart disease all these things that can happen to you if you don't move but your mind you will get clinically depressed by not moving around by not leaving the house by not getting exercise by not having enough interaction with people connection yeah and When you understand that, then when you're having those days, you know you're feeling like shit and you don't want to do anything, but you know you should probably do something.

And it's pushing yourself to do that. And you stay in a routine, right? You do this every morning no matter you feel good or bad. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I do. Aside from obviously, like, if I'm traveling or somewhere where I can't, like, that's the great thing about yoga is you can do it anywhere. Yeah.

You can just, you know, and I take my mat with me. and I'll just do it in my hotel room. I can do it in this space, even if it's 15 minutes. Yeah. I feel the benefits of it in my head. So, yeah, it's part of, I need that. But also, along with that, like sort of the morning routine, if you will, includes my coffee. Like, I take my coffee with me everywhere in the world.

So it's usually my, it's kicking horse coffee, which you think at this point, I should get a fucking sponsor. Yeah. And like when my missus orders the box of it, she's like, why don't I? approach them and i'm like please do i've tried what did you instagram them message oh yeah yeah yeah i've done that sometimes it works sometimes it does and they've just never and but this is for years like i'm i'm i'm a serious it's three sisters which is the mountain range in alberta where i'm from right so that's kind of cool it's the three sisters mountain range it's a medium roast but i literally like when i was

filming in Manchester, I, for three months, I took enough beans and I take a grinder and my bodom. Just because the morning, I'm going to start my day the way I want to start it. And that cup of coffee and three sisters just makes me feel like, ah, that and then a book, something to read, something or an art book. Just for like 20 minutes, an hour, whatever it is. That's my morning. So I have my bodum and I get my book that I'm reading or if, you know, a lot of times, I love, you know, I love like the books like the Francis Bacon books or Lucien Freud or art, the art books that have the writing. So you're stimulated by the beautiful art, but then I love interviews with the, you know, the art books. I'm like Rosoli or the, you know, I always get

them at Hauser and we're at the big art books. Those are beautiful books. That's how I start my day. The Bodom then obviously usually includes cleaning out the pipes because the coffee for me is like Pavlov's dogs. But you weren't always into this. Are you okay with all this? You're right? You weren't always like this. You weren't always into yoga, were you? No.

You weren't into all this health stuff and all. You were probably at a different place in your life, which you probably look back and go, I wasn't as happy as I am now. You know, I don't know if I'm any. I, you don't know if you're any happier. I think I'm the same. You're thinking of the same as 10 years ago?

It's different. circumstances are changed. I'm certainly happier now. But also that's my personal life. Like I just have such peace and strength with my home and my relationship and my misses. It's just like, and all these things kind of happened to you.

Like you just said outside, you said something like you got your dog, you got your girlfriend. And a truck. And a truck. Now, that happened. Literally four years ago before COVID.

At the same time. Yeah. Pretty much. Within. Well, because I was shooting in Vancouver, Snowpiercer, so I had to, I wanted to drive up. And I think we'd already done a season or the COVID came. I forget the exact time, but I definitely wanted a truck just to go like camping. Like I'm Canadian boy.

Yeah, you'd think, but it's so not true. Because like I'm, you know, I'm full on bougie. Like I'd rather have a little boutique hotel than like sleep on the rocks. I did go camping with a dear friend of mine that I did the short film. frank and three uh with which is actually just got into a paris film festival which is cool but charlie and i when we first met i just got the truck charlie charlie the truck charlie charlie my friend oh your friend and my truck's my friend too yeah you ever named for your truck i don't yeah my mom has she's always named her cars and i think dizzy gillespie is the current car which i don't understand

She calls it Dizzy Gillespie. Right. Bless my mom. But so anyways, we did go camping Charlie and I, and he came with me when I rescued Satfa, my dog. He was in the truck, which I also discovered Charlie has a gag reflex because when I rescued the dog from, it was from an organization, so I didn't rescue on the street. It was, I forget where it was.

But you made the choice to adopt. Yes, definitely. Yeah. Always adopt him. And the dog saw it at that point, Vin, Vince Scully? What's the name I said? Vince Scully. He was announced to the Dodgers. High drive and right field.

And the big question will be, whatever happened to oil can boy. I don't know. I don't do an impression, but you know what I'm talking about it? That could be spot on because I'd never heard of Vince Scully. I didn't know. And so they were like Vince Culley. And they're like, you know, like they're like, you know, like they're Canadian boy.

You don't know Vince Scully? But I don't even know sports. I'm a hockey guy. nothing i grew up in calgary i don't i still don't skate i don't ski i'm more of a canadian than you are yeah and i know every province and territory and i know the anthem i'm more of a canadian than you probably i always say the government kicked me out kicked me out kicked me out um but so charlie and i did go camping during our first uh sort of friendship date and i had got the hard cover on the truck and SOT came with us and we went out to what we referred to as poop island but I don't

think that's its official name yeah probably not but you get the idea why so anyways Charlie would he I thought he was going to bring an air mattress he didn't so I just had a yoga mat so he was going to sleep down on the by the water beautiful like sleeping by the water right how gorgeous he gets to hear the waves I'm neurotic I think I'd wake up drowning somehow somehow a tidal wave it hit he just thought this is beautiful. I, of course, was like, well, I'm sleeping in my truck. I got to bed for a reason. I got one of those bougie double air mattresses. So that was my camping. And then Charlie ended up actually, after three days, we realized he was sleeping on horrible rocks. So I'd get up. I'd go hiking with a dog and go explore. He would literally pass out in the truck for a few hours because that was only

sleep he would get. So I'm not a camper. You're not a camper. I just got it to drive to Vancouver with the dog when we were shooting up there that was the idea and then yes it was like because yeah it was the beginning of COVID and I think I got onto the dating app just for because I don't I don't and you met a girl on Raya yeah and it was great how many did you go through before you found one I have to say I always had success on Raya with good good women nice women some I'm still friends with yeah but I also wasn't like I'm not your typical um like I had friends, the really good-looking friends, that like you just look at them.

You're like, oh, you're so good-looking. And they're like shirtless, and then they're on the motorcycle. And then they're holding a poppy. And then they're on a boat. And then they're jumping off a boat. Doing yoga poses. Mine was, I was told from a friend that mine was the most standoffish. Like, because I think I was probably giving a finger in a few of the pictures.

But it was me. Yeah, it was you. See, that's the problem with dating apps is when you see them in real life, you're like, I'm looking for this person. You don't even know who they are. Are they that different? Yeah, I mean, most of the time because it's glamour shots. How can I look the best I could look?

And the reality is you're setting yourself up for disaster. Why would you advertise yourself as something so much different than what you are? Which is kind of goes back to like the Instagram thing and to each his own how you use it. for me it's sort of this art installation and it's also my um part of my need to express myself like do something creative it holds me accountable to write something or to try to express something or i see it usually like just today there was walking the dog and there was this interesting reflection as i walked by which appears like i'm checking myself out probably but i think i was just i saw this interesting reflection with these two palm trees i was like

oh that'd be funny and then it came up with some lyric in my head about two palms or something and then and then it's a need to express it so i just put it out there yeah and then it's gone and i leave it but it is it's all yeah it is all me good because false advertising is everywhere because i how many times you see a trailer for a movie you're like you know what that's good and then it's a big piece of shit but they got the trailer and wow they sold it and then you go out there and you're like this isn't the movie i was expecting to see everything so it's it's always a disappointment but i i you know the older i get the more sort of what's the word we're grudging sort of like old like fucking i don't want to see this and i don't want to see

that um are you do you see a lot of movies do you see you don't you've never been into this even when you were uh you know you were in the biggest game in history uh grand theft auto yeah like you were like great i'm in that game but you didn't play games No. You didn't really, it wasn't your thing. No. Even growing, I mean, I, growing up I played, I don't know, probably played Donkey Kong. I loved, I have it downstairs.

Really? Yeah. Or the, I love the Miss Pac-Man with the Gallagia, Galaxy, Galaxy. I have a full-size Gallagia machine downstairs. That's the one where it just goes, yep, double the ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it goes, didl-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l- And it joins it, and then you're like, yeah, yeah, in the challenging stage. That's cool.

Yeah, that's great. But even those, like, I look at that. I'm like, how do they do that? Yeah. Like, who has the science to put that together? And now you can't even play these games. They're so difficult. They're so crazy.

I just also have never, it's never, um... Interested you. Yeah, I mean, I love books. I read books and books. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money. Period. It's Rocket Money.

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dot com slash inside of you were you did you have a good upbringing were your parents very uh uh was like hey you need to read more you need to this you know i have to say um you know my mom was a big reader we read different that she still reads like she's 80 three now and still always reading but not my kind of stuff like she likes a good old detective novel or something very easy to digest right and but my dad never read my dad never read a book and he would read the newspaper when he came home from work did the crossword puzzles no didn't do the crossword puzzles literally would just like watch news and read the paper I never saw my dad pick up a book yeah I'm kind of in Between your mom and dad, that sounded weird.

But I'm sort of like every once in a while. Did it sound weird? I don't know. But I'll read a book every once in a while, but I love movies and I love documentaries and I like all that stuff. So I, you know, but I'm not a big reader, but I love history. I love nonfiction. I don't really read fiction. You probably do.

I'm not a big, I mean, yeah, it's fiction. I love documentaries probably more than anything. You know, I used to be, you know, there were the years in New York, right? Those first few years in New York doing a, the Criterion Collection, you know, going to acting class. And in the morning, I would watch the film, the criterion film. And then the day would go. And then at the evening, I would watch it again with the director commentary. Right.

And I went through all the classics. I went through every film, just like I did novels. You know, I used to go through sort of the Russian literature, then the French, then the British, and all of them based on sort of the teacher, mentor, student. You read like Dostoevsky and all that shit. You read all that stuff. Like Dostoevsky to Gogol, you know, whoever was below. And that's when I was living in Europe. That was sort of my education.

I didn't go to school. So I would just read all of them and the Brits, the French. Yeah, I just loved it. And I still love literature, like words are the most important thing. You wrote a book on poetry. Yeah. And that's, you know, that's one of hopefully five that we've got going. But those were all, again, like Carthesis, you know, born out of a place of pain, really.

Like, that's the most painful one that that one was. Ooh, I like this one. Sitting is not sitting around, not waiting for the moment, not expecting an about face, not seeing a change, not needing it from that. sitting in this moment full life living it saddened by the nefarious greed and enlivened by the love uh never those two shall meet the darkness sits outside the lightness sits inside me staying in an open staying in open to all that's that's a lot of like feeling that's that's therapy would i read from that that's sort of therapy it's it's a release and it is you know these are i'm not an editor re-editor rewrite just this is it it is just

it's sort of raw off the heart from the cuff or from the cuff off the heart it's just something that it kind of generally percolates and it's in there and something comes to me and then i need to get it out and express it and then the idea or the hope is to express it in such a way that what i just felt or experienced is then put out there it doesn't necessarily area, you know, it doesn't mean I'm cleansed after. And I'm like, oh, now I feel better. I'm still living in that shit. Do you care about what people think of you? Not really. Do you care at all? I shouldn't say I don't care, because obviously I care. But you have to filter, right? You have to, it's boundaries. So it's like, what do I, who am I putting the value on as to whether or not you

know me who am i letting get a rise out of me who am i allowing yeah because honestly there's it's like whenever you know there's things that are said about you or uh like i know for a while with the video game of the gta everyone was saying like oh he hates being called trevor and because i probably said to someone well my name's not trevor like it just couldn't be because right my name is Stephen. Right. And even if in like, okay, the Walking Dead, Simon, okay, that, when people call you by your character name, it's kind of weird, because I don't, I kind of get it, but I'm also kind of like, me. But then to be a cartoon, like video game character cartoon, like, there's just no way I could be a cartoon. Do you know what I'm saying? Right. So I just, I can't fathom it.

So I'm sure at some point I was like, you know, what are you fucking talking about? And then it became this thing he hates Trevor he hates GTA don't call him Trevor you'll freak out which isn't the truth at all no it's great character he's awesome and like I was still Sean and Ned were friends and we were just doing a comic on this past weekend it's just people believe so those kind of comments don't bother me because I'm like you don't fucking know me does it affect the work to people who hire you buy into what they think or perceive you as or doing or saying or thinking that I don't know that I don't know that I don't know because i don't know like did you all of a sudden go wow i'm not hired for this now

well there's certainly a lot of stuff i'm like wow i'm not hired for story of our lines yes that seems to be a pattern yes that uh continues to flummox me and also be quite different from what people i think expect or see of me versus the reality are so fucking different you know like people think i'm at the table you know like we have a multitude of friends that we know we're acquaintances that are at that table the table of you pick and choose right it's you've got that break you've been accepted yeah and it's different when you're not at the table because you can have friends at the table going yeah you should be doing this you I'm like yeah I agree but I'm not because I'm not at the table right you're at the table right so it's uh it's it's a it's a bit

of a there's there's there's quite a difference between do you like or love I love acting. I love acting. Love it. Yep. Being on a set is enough for you. Doing is enough for me. Acting.

Being on set, man. Like as we know, being on set is, you know, being in your trailer. Right. Hanging out. Okay, go. Act. Oh, I was taking a nap. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. It's being in that moment when they say action. It's action cut. That's the moment you like to be in. And the playing. I mean, like words or words, acting is acting. So whatever the medium is, it's acting. You're still, and with TV and film, the repetition,

I don't mind. Like when you get, you know, people complaining about 75 takes. Now, granted, I haven't been in that position. So maybe I would be rolling my eyes. But fuck, I mean, like, I've done so many indies the past two years, like way too many. I shouldn't say way too many, but, you know, ones that aren't necessarily going to move my needle forward, which is as I get closer to the end of life, I would like my needle to move because the days are getting, you know, life is just what it is, right? I mean, granted, if we live within a certain time, life expectancy. But even on some of these films, well, the Indies are different too, but like being able to.

do it over and over. Like every time I get to look at you and say something, I'm like, okay, and then next time I'm excited to try it again and see if I can do it different or hear it different or respond differently every single time. And that's like when a lot of actors are like, you know, I don't want to read my lines before. I'm like, what the fuck?

Should read these lines a fucking bazillion times. Go on set and it should still sound fresh. And it's still like I just, but that's my way of. working. And that's not like everyone has their technique. So you have to respect everyone's technique. But I do love acting. And it's why I do, you know, I have something potentially coming up that we're sort of still in negotiation of like, and you know, Sarah, my, my girl says, just because you get to act, I would say, do it. Because you're a much better person

when you're acting so you're you're happier when you're working you don't know even with the yoga even with all the discipline and all that stuff there still feels like a void or like an emptiness when you're not working those are passing times i mean when i've read like when two weeks ago whenever it was when we connected i think i had done six novels in five days that's reflective of how mentally i'm doing because that means i needed fucking i needed help to navigate this don't darkness. So I can read by my pool in my pool. Sarah's friend came by and I was in a floatie. We've got these bougie floaties, of course. You used to have fun boys, which are great. They're pink and they're colorful, but then they keep popping and then you feel like you're

adding to the shit in the world because the plastic. And so after like six of them popping, you're like, okay, let's get a boogie one. So we got these bougie ones that look like West Elm floating in the pool. Like they're fucking beautiful. But so you're in there. reading you're on them reading that's what you're doing like nothing around you there's you were in the zone surrounded by uh passion fruit vines like it's very secluded our backyard just beautiful wild parrots um you'll have to stop by whenever you're in that part of town i'd love to and you know with sot and and meet the misses but so i was sitting there floating and it's very much like uh sexy beast right the opening ray winston without the banana hammock

I'm still very old-fashioned. I wear my surfer shorts. I mean, when I'm by myself, I'll definitely tuck them up so I don't get funny tan lines. But, I mean, you can see I'm very bronze. Yeah, you are. And so it's because I sit there and I just float and I just read. And it was very funny because Sarah had a friend stop by to get some passion fruit. And there I am.

And I, again, I do try to put on sunscreen for those listening. sunscreen is very important very important no it is it is very important you could see people at my age who didn't use it and i didn't use it always so i look at my skin i'm like i'm okay but like it could have been a lot worse but i have friends that still don't use sunscreen i'm like how do you do that and i'm for like i do now at least go to get it all checked out and they do say you're good you really should and i do like i try to put it on my nose now i try to be you know i had skin cancer twice but not it wasn't serious right they just cut it out they just cut it out and then it's monitored um yeah every six months you just get body check okay you know but um i mean these things

are smart and preventative yeah but so anyways the point is is i was floating and i'm reading and she stops and she's like oh hi and i felt like a bit of a fuck how's swearing you could swear oh okay yeah right swears all the time okay i just wasn't sure mostly when he fucks up ads okay you do that a lot yeah so do i oh man I mean, we edited it, so you don't hear that shit. Oh, that's good. But go ahead. You can make this look good and interesting.

Oh, yeah. Cut out the SPF thing. Oh, yeah. So she's, you know, like, I was like, oh, hi. And the point is, is she was looking at me like I was this guy floating around in the sun reading all day. And not just that, but I had to get up because I felt rude that I wasn't, because this was during the darker days I was having. Um, but then I, I felt very rude. So I ended up getting up out of the pool to say, I'm so sorry.

I should have like immediately jumped up to say nice to meet you instead of fucking floating around with my book in my lap, but I, I really, I'm immersed. I was immersed, but I had to say to her, I was like, but, you know, this is passing time in a mentally healthy way for me. I'd rather be acting. And that's sort of my point with it all. That's amazing. I would rather be acting.

That makes sense. But I don't have those opportunities. I just don't. Yeah. No, to each his own. And I used, I mean, look, who knows? We've talked about that before, like, another, you know, where I talk about, you know, I had a passion.

I liked acting. I was, you know, and it's not that I don't want to do it anymore, but like, I'm doing a lot of other things. And I don't mind. Like, I don't, if I'm not working, I don't go crazy as long as I got other things to do. Right. But I've really learned. to be alone. I've learned to be

productive. I've learned like if you've got nothing to do you've got to find you got to find something to do. I always find something to do. But let me ask you this. I mean a little bad segue but when you got uh, because you didn't come into walking dead till season eight. You don't even know. Fact check. Did you know it would change your life like it did? Were you assuming, hey, this is a huge show and this is just going to no no and i don't know if it i mean has it changed my life has it i mean i don't know what that

means i mean there's the audience is so huge there's a notoriety right so i mean do people right like when i have my mustache which i just shaved yesterday that's an automatic like or depends how i look the recognizable factor but certainly uh you know that and gta like throughout the world throughout the world the biggest game the biggest show and at the same time at the same time and west world i was on all three during the same we and on the same night westworld and walking dead were on with the like the hundredth episode or whatever and gta was like the biggest thing of all time and it just didn't really change anything what do you mean it didn't change anything for you for me i mean it didn't change the way i drank my coffee in the morning or it took a piss

But did it make you proud? Did it make you feel more secure with maybe finances? No. No, because you know finances are not what people think. Like people think just because you're on a hit show that it equals your pockets. You're not making Chandler Riggs money. Whatever. I know what you're saying.

What a reference. Is that his name? Chandler? Huh? What do you mean? Chandler from Walking Dead. Yeah. The kid.

Yeah. Isn't that his name? Yeah. It's the only name I could come up with. That was good. I was like it was quite a random thing. Kind of a random name. I was thinking more like Norman Reidus money.

Oh, that's crazy. Or JDM money or something like that. Yeah. So those, and as we know, right. You're season eight coming in. You're going to get what you're going to get to be on this show and we're not negotiating with you. Yes.

And a lot of people would take a lot of cuts off what they normally would get. Was it hard work? No. No. I had fun. I loved Atlanta. I had such a great time. I mean, it was, you're playing, right? You get to play. And I mean, yeah. And again, it's, it's sort of what I was saying when it came in of my memories are always of the people. Inside you is brought to you by Rocket Money. If you want to save money, then listen to me because I use this. Ryan uses as so many people use Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted. subscriptions crazy right how cool is that monitors you're spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings and you know what's great it works it really works ryan rocket money

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That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com and use code audio at checkout. What do you think of when you think of the people? Who is it that comes to mind first? I mean, Austin and I are, you know, Austin Emilio, we just had. Because we'd also read plays. So we were always reading plays or we'd go run lines in the cemetery and, you know, we were both. Really? Oh, my God.

Yeah, we had so much fun. How cool is that? that yeah and we just hung out all the time and we'd be like on set you know and we're just yeah you know my god those sets you know we'd be shooting all night and just you know everyone smoke and you're just like how many packs can i go through yeah and but we just the memories of like we're shooting outside and these are the things i remember not the scenes um is you know we're sitting way back it was the whatever the big house is that Alexandria yeah i think So, yes, yes, I think you're right.

It's a big house. If we're wrong, sorry, but yes, I think it is. It's a big house, and there were stuff, and it was in the middle of the night, and so Austin and I were in the back of the house. They were filming in the front. And at one point, it came like we were two little school boys, and they were like, you guys, can you please keep it down? We can hear you.

We can hear you laughing and farting. We're like, serious? They're like, yeah, so keep it down. But that was us. We're just two boys in the back, like, and you smell out, Austin. You'd like my fart book. I just came out with a fart book. Did you?

See that one? I up there, the talented farter. No way. Yeah, dude. And I said I wasn't, Sarah's already like,

oh boy. You write poetry. I write farts. She's going to skip over this. But I said, because she's always like, don't tell the story about this, that all my classic podcast stories

that have gone on to become quite known, which people don't enjoy. But this one is a great segue into fart. So I know Sarah is going to be like, uh-oh, here it comes. When she's listening to this, she's about to be like, don't say this. But I have to because it was so funny and cute, started the day off with a smile and a laugh. And it has to do with farts. So I tend to, I tend to fart.

You're looking at the talented farder. And I'm dying to see this talented farder. It's great. I really love the, I'm so proud of it. Is it? A lot of my celebrity friends are putting it out there. and they're on Instagram. Can I look at it after?

Of course. And it seems, is that a, it's a sound thing. It's a sound. It's all my farts. That's awesome. Yeah, they're all real farts. Because when I first saw it.

We just lost half our audience. That's okay. That's okay. The thing on, I will say on Instagram, when I'm, usually when I'm spinning on the peloton is when I like go through the,

like just flip through the ground. I mean, I get bored after a few. I don't spend a lot of time on it. It's just, again, not my thing. Right. But the fart guys, you know the ones that like that walk in the home depot and they're looking at something kills me i laugh how about the guy with the beard who just looks at you and just farts for 13 seconds are they

machines though i you know the like they're not machines no this guy you could tell her has a horrible diet and farts like no one's ever heard uh yeah farts are funny they are but i want to hear the story go ahead okay so this morning and i do uh generally uh sarah has to wake up to a uh A trumpet, greeting the day. Musical. And sometimes, and I've had in the middle of the night, sometimes I awake chuckling to my own nonsense. I've done that. Like, I love you already.

This makes me like you so much more. And so she's like, that's disgusting. And I'm like, but you're smiling. Yeah. Why would I take away your joy? Yeah. So this morning was a sort of a three-lifference. leveled call-out to the day to begin, 5.30 in the morning. And it was just a very like,

like it was, she had the laugh. It was epic. No, this is the best reaction ever. Okay. Because there's always different reactions like sometimes. Like this wakes her up. Yeah. So it was whoa whoa that was sarah's ragged whoa she was matty but connie it made me laugh too oh my god now i said her woe was like like whoa like nice car whoa but she's like she's she because i was just talking about this before i came here and she's like no no no it wasn't a i'm impressed i think it was like a whoa i can't believe that this is what's next to me oh my god so you're having fun on the set wherever you go you

was it you know i always thought that walking dead would be clicky like there's certain people the isn't every set right well there's some people that just were the intangibles or the the folks that just didn't really talk to everybody else and just went into their trailers and did their own thing less i mean i have to say like the beautiful thing with walking dead is is andrew lincoln being number one he seems like such a great guy i met him once what a nice guy that's what a number one should be he was when i when i first came to the show so i was in the trailer because we were still waiting for the official casting of nigan right so i had a certain look so we had to sort of wait and see who was going to be so it was just andrew and i right in the trailer waiting for geoffrey to call

to figure out who had to look. But we just had a lovely chat. Like I was asking him, I said, so at what point in the apocalypse are we here? Because again, I don't follow the show. I didn't read the graphic novels. So I was like, just an idea like, are we almost like, are we all dead or are we?

He was like, I don't know. So we had this just wonderful conversation, but he made everyone feel comfortable. Isn't that something? An extra, the zombies, does everyone need water? Is everyone okay? Everyone felt great.

And that's a huge thing to do. It's also a relief for someone who comes in to this established well-oiled machine and comes in and the leader is so gracious. Simple, stupid. It's kind of like being kind. You think it would be a given, but it's not. I mean, you know, you go back to the days, New York days, right? Living there's still, as we know, a hierarchy, right?

I mean, there's still the triple-banger and the person's changing in the toilets. And the wages are reflecting. I'm in there. Yeah. But, you know, when you first do the New York days and you do all the guest stars, you know, you do the law and order, you do your third watch, you do your soap opera, you do all this. Man, I kind of stopped acting for six years. And that's when I went and built this country house because I was like, I don't want a part of this. I thought it was horrible.

I hated the hierarchy of it. I hated being, feeling lower than others. Excluded. Yeah. And feeling like, why do you think you're such fucking hot shit? You just got a break. If anything, you should be super kind to me. And you have the power to change people's lives or make people's lives better by just being a human being.

By being fucking cool. And that's sort of what. Don't never hit my Superman poster again. You're lucky it's plastic. Oh my God. That Superman trailer that came out, the documentary. Do you watch it? I heard it's great.

I got to write that down. Crying my eyes out just watching the fucking trailer. Really? I'm running it down right now. I can't imagine this is going to be so beautiful, so beautiful. Well, if you had to guess, not guess, but if you had to think of one scene, one moment on that show, that you're like, that was my favorite moment, acting-wise. Like, this was my favorite moment of my character. On The Walking Dead? Yeah.

I feel with acting like in life, this sort of term of forced Buddhism I came up with where whether I like it or not, I try to exist in the moment. so it's forced and that's what sometimes for me is acting this forced moment where I'm trying to just be present for a multitude of reasons so then when it goes I forget about it so that it's in the past

so I don't have to remember does that make sense? It does? So it's why I don't always remember sort of scenes I'm trying to think of I mean the scenes where you were about to get killed or he's got the bat and you know you know up to your death or uh is there an intense scene that you go i just remember being so present being so in the moment that i was like ah i don't even know how that felt good because it

felt so cathartic yeah i mean i think certainly i mean when when geoffrey and i when we did this sort of that big fight my death that was that was well because it was also the last day of work for me on the show and you knew you're going to die they told you yeah yeah so that was emotional just for more like I'm leaving my friends did you cry oh yeah yeah for sure you did you got really emotional yeah at at the very end or before you were done filming afterwards afterwards because you know I didn't want to be crying while I'm fighting yeah although it'd be interesting I kind of almost that would have been cool that had been really cool great choice yeah he was laughing the whole time and that was actually crying it was so funny

fighting because we were both i mean we wanted to make it super dirty right because both geoffrey and i we stand next to each other and it's like come on i could fucking kill you i'm just bigger angrier um but so we're like let's make it dirtier which the network wouldn't allow us to do it which is so ironic as as dirty as we wanted to but it's still worked out because we have to pay like you have to you have to believe that he could kill me right at the end so get it dirty but anyways it's funny after we did all that and you know like i'm not a tough guy i'm not a let me do my own stunts guy i'm like yeah please as long as we can suspend disbelief and people believe it's me yeah someone else all the time because i'll hurt myself i'm just i learned to let people do it and

that's why i probably had so many surgeries because i used to do a lot of it on my own like no no no i want to do this i want to do this and then i go nope you do it in fact michael all you have to do is lie down yeah somebody else can do that he's like well that's not going to hurt you i know i just rather have somebody else do it was there a lot of stunts like what was the most smallville was yeah there were fight scenes and you know things that get thrown and i go i can i can do that i could you know in the first few seasons i definitely would do a lot of it and then i started letting them do stuff it's fun but other movies too like you know just other movies and things that i've done i always wanted to to be and i would do a lot of pratt falls comedically like in some funny stuff and

that took its toll i mean falling hard and i can do it like john ridder falls Oh, I can do it. I can fall like nobody. I mean, like, obviously he's amazing. I'm just saying I feel when I fall, you believe I felt. I could bump into something. You go, oh, my God, are you okay? I still do it to people walking in a door into a grocery store or anything.

Like, oh my God, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, no, I'm fine. I just, I've always done that. But yeah, anyway, go ahead. That's funny. Those are funny. Oh, I love them. Falls and farts.

That might be your next book. Falls and farts. Falls and far. It's a graphic novel. Yeah, you can have your farts and then your falls. Yeah. So you can have the best of both worlds on that one. So you did this scene and you were very happy about it.

Very happy about it. And then the funniest after was because again, like even just fighting, like we choreographed. I remember when they first choreographed that scene and we came in, you know, Jeffrey and I have the stunt. And you know stunt guys, right? They're always like on the script that says, you know, Michael throws a right punch. Stephen Ducks swings a left. That's it for the fight. They make so much more.

And then this stunt guys are like, okay, well, that first right, what you're going to do is you're going to bounce off the wall. You're going to do a backflip, right? And then you're going to do a kick upside the head. Then you're going to do a dive roll. There's going to be flames over there. And you're going to go, go through the flames. And you're going to pick up the flame with your hand. You're going to put it in Michael's face.

And he's going to start to burn. Like that's not on paper. Yeah, it's like, no, no, it just says two punches here. Yeah, what are you guys doing? No, no, we're going to make it. That's what they do. That's what they do. That's what they do.

And then they always emasculate you, I find, because they're sort of like, you can't do that, give you up and down look. And then you're like, okay, I'll try. But inevitably, you hurt yourself because, like, I swing like a, like, you know, I can't fight. I've always wanted to, like, take boxing or something. Like, I did. It's great. It's great to take boxing. Yeah?

Yeah. And I wanted to get a punching bag in the backyard. But, like, I want to be a fighter, not a lover. You know? Like that can easily learn how to box. It'd be kind of cool to like. Yeah. You could take, I guarantee if you took 10 boxing lessons, you'd be surprised.

And I still remember, I haven't done it in a while. And I could still, I know how to throw a punch. I know how to do a cross. I know how to do a hook. I know how to do all that shit. Mike Tyson once I was doing this show and he was a guest star. And I came like, oh my God, Mike Tyson, what the fuck? I started doing these things.

To him. You know, just in character. I started making up shit. And he goes, after he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, I thought you. punches earlier. You box? I'm like, a little bit. He goes, yeah, I could tell you know how to throw a punch. And I was like, fuck, yeah. Mike Tyson

just said that. That's right. You bet I do. So don't cross me, buddy. Did you say that? Don't make me holy feel your shit, man. Let's keep some space between us. With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot track side. So being a fan for life

turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful back. of Amex. Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and varied by race. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at amex.ca.ca. slash Yanex. This episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin-turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally. The ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca. The title of the book, The Talented Farter.

This is a wonderful story about a little boy his only gift, his only real talent, his tooting. It makes his teeth sound like everything you hear in everyday life. So little Michael loved Halloween, but nothing frightened his friends more than when Michael would stink up a good scare. You hear that? Oh, I heard it. It is a lovely story, and it's beautifully illustrated by my friend Heath

and Simon Schuster's putting it out. It's going to be in tons of bookstores and available online. on Amazon. I'm so proud of it. I was in Louisville this past week and doing a Comic-Con. You mean Louisville? How'd I say it? No, it's Louis. I say Louisville. Louisville? Some people say Louisville. Louisville? What is it real? I say Louisville. Louisville. Like the slugger? Yeah, Louisville slugger.

Isn't that Louisville? No, I'm kidding. Go ahead. But they had the, I saw the big bat too. It was funny when I approached it. They're like, you know, yeah, we're bats and bourbon. I was like, yeah, two things. I couldn't give less shit. about. I'm going to be fine here. But I had a bit of a tum-tumache. So I sat at night. I was just flipping the hotels when I only watched TV. So I was flipping through channels. Anyways, I saw there was, and I'm not, I don't watch fights, boxing, but, you know, I'm flipping through channels. And it was a George Foreman, George Foreman of Vanderholyfield.

Yeah. During his young days, I think Foreman had just come out of retirement or was just at four, he was 45 fighting Holyfield, who was the champion. Right. Point being, and I didn't see, I've never seen this, but I do want to remember this for the next fight. I will do, which I know I've said I don't do stunts, but I'm just talking about, you know, when you're doing a little fight scene, not a big stunt. Right. Is he does this? That's his defense. Is that normal?

Are you a big boxer? No, I mean, normally they just put their, you're right. They don't do this. He was literally just YouTube, a bit of the foreman. Wow. And I thought, how fucking cool is that for a bit in a film, right? Instead of like, when you're getting, oh, next time I have an opportunity, for sure, I'm going to stand like this.

And it was quite brilliant because try to hit my face. Like, that protects that. What if you do this? Protecting your face, here's your mask. Or just like that. Doesn't that make more sense? Yeah. Like this did make sense because this.

Yeah. Or no, you're supposed to keep them up? Just keep your hands up. Just keep your hands up. Always. They always tell you that. Keep your hands up. You put them down for a second.

You're getting jacked. Yeah, but how about the side? Yeah, but watch this. When he goes, you know, you do this. Okay, now do this. That seems, right? Yeah, but here's the- Hit me.

Try to hit me. Look, I'm not questioning. Try to hit me. I'm not question what George Foreman's doing. But, hey, let me ask you this. All this stuff. Is motion cap difficult? Like when you did, uh, I mean,

grand theft audit was it was it was it is it it it's acting because you got like a nominated for awards and like people thought you know your acting was amazing you really gave it all you could and you were acting yes and you don't like you don't lessen the intensity or whatever because it's a video game again the words of the words and acting is acting right so the only the technique is what differs now with motion capture you know you've done motion capture never no no I'm surprised me. Would I like it? I don't know.

I mean, I've just done it the ones and I enjoyed it. It was, again, to me, it's the words. Like, it's about acting. And this character was such a hoot to play. So it's like you're, you know, the spandex with the balls. And then the helmet with a light in the camera in your face. So it takes a bit of getting used to because obviously you can't, first of all, you can't get up into someone's face.

you can't just fall over because of the balls it's going to hurt you can't just grab another arm or a person because you have to not cover the balls that the motion capture cameras are so there's sort of a certain technique but that's like anything like you know you quickly adapt and learn how you can the sandbox that you have to plan and once you do that it's it's so liberating and it's such you know i don't know because again i don't look at other video games so like i know troy baker uh who i've met a few times and is really lovely but i i don't know his work per se but he is i think one of the right the top of the top yeah in the motion capture world um and i i think it is just a uh it's not even a technique thing you just have to sort of do things

a little different well i hear that they like they like things in one take they don't want you to mess up like you have to go from here to here and do all this dialogue and like is that true or you can mess up and well at first i thought it would be i didn't even know if we'd have to memorize i thought we'd just sort of like have to we could read off it but no it's just like filming you you you come in you you know you memorize uh now you can just keep going because obviously there's not really a cut right you can just the cameras are all around there's hundreds of cameras so you can just keep going how many pages of dialogue would you do in a day it depends on the day depends if there was like actiony stuff you had to do um but it took a while

it took weeks three years three years to do it was supposed to be a year so all of a sudden and seasonal though so we would do let's say 10 days January 10 days in spring 10 days in summer fall so it was broken up like that because they had to write it they had to animate they had to catch up on at all so then the after a year it's like oh yeah we're going into the second year and then three years he's like wow so it took a lot and i know ned has uh he kept track of like the script by the end of it was you know i forget thousands of pages and stuff like that it's how did you uh how did you like better call saw amazing was it i mean and talk about again what you can do as an actor right there's jonathan banks oh legend

Legend, right? And he step into the trailer at 5.30 in the morning, you know, everyone's got the coffee and just getting going. Hey, good morning, morning. Jonathan is there going, good morning. And I said, you know, I'm Stephen. I'm coming in, you know, doing the subject. He's like, fantastic. All right. I mean, do you want to run some lines while we're sitting here? Fuck yeah. Thank you. It'd be great. I'd love to. That's a pro. Right. that's you think he wouldn't do that he's older he doesn't want and he just says let's run lines yeah and those are the things that like you have to again with all these like indie films i've been

doing and i'm sort of now the elder statesman on a lot of these i'm older than you so don't make yourself sound too old well nobody's you 50 yeah yeah i'm 52 but you know what i'm saying like with if you're working with 20 year olds yeah you're the elder statesman true and it's it's such a beautiful opportunity to pass these things forward. Yeah, which is what I do. And I'm, I take it seriously and I love being in that position to be a leader on a set and to make people feel good and to be like, hey, do you want to run lines before, you know, do you want it to, to anyone, to anyone on it, even if I'm not in a scene with them. Hey, I'm happy to run lines if you want to practice, you know, getting this stuff out. Yeah. Or, you know, I did one film where there's huge ladder,

sort of like that scene in and then it was it in Glorious Bastard she goes up to change the letters on the marquee? I don't remember you're the movie guy do you remember someone had to climb up ladder oh yeah I do remember

she has the the ladder yeah yeah yeah so that so this girl in this movie had to do that she was a young girl and as we and it was going to be this amazing opening one one shot right like this and we follow people and then we see her climb up the ladder and then this and then we see

me at the front and we go into the theater and we're doing all of this ambitious very like beautiful awesome so then she was standing next to me and as they're going over safety and locked down the streets and okay and then you know if we're going to name Abigail it's good name Abigail I don't know those name Abigail is going to climb up the this and I'm talking maybe 30 feet ladder it was a tall tall marquee fucking ladder and I'm looking at it I'm getting like clammy hands and And I kind of, I'm watching her, just like I'm watching you right now. And I'm just looking over. And I could just kind of see her.

She's nervous. Yeah. And so as they're, I'm like, do you, did you know you're doing this? She's like, no, they just asked if I'm okay with it. And I was like, so are you? She's like, not, no, not really. And I was like, okay. do you trust me to protect you on this like i'm not going to throw under the bus but are you are you

cool with if i say something but i won't be using you right i just want to be clear with that she's like that'd be really nice yeah okay so then i kind of moved spots as the meeting is still because obviously i'm paying attention to the safety meeting and so i'm now over there and then when they okay is everyone i was like question the back row you know because i'm the elder statesman and uh yeah Stephen. I was like, who's climbing up that ladder? Like, because we're doing this one take and there's no pads here, but it's going to be impossible to put a pad down if it's one tracking shock is you going to see the pad. So who's climbing up that and like, what's going on with that? Just a very prod kind of like. Just wondering. Yep. Because that's, and I think I said like, it's not me going up, is it? Because I'm scared of heights. You saved her. And I'm not going to do that. And they were like, oh, no, it's, you know, Abigail. Gail is in, I was like, is she okay doing that? Are you caught? And I just sort of, is it not in like a, you know, can you do that? But I just sort of made it. You sure you want to do that? And then it's like, and then it changed. And then they still did it, but they, you know, were able to cheat it. So she felt comfortable and safe. And you can quickly see how shit goes wrong on sets with, you know, even pre. You have to take care of not just yourself, but the people around you. Everyone. And that's, I think, like, what, you know, Andrew Lincoln did. Yeah. Jonathan. in banks saying want to run lines just do stuff that's like simple and kind that makes other people feel safe and good because when you have that environment ideally the work's going to be better

because you do feel safe 100% this is call shit talking with stephen og this is rapid fire my top tier patrons ask these questions patron dot com slash inside of you i love you thank you for supporting the show rapid fire ready for this so that me are you going to ask them rapidly or i have to answer rapidly taylor r are you going to go to play gta six when it comes out no raj tell me a movie or tv show that defines your adolescence happy days jessica b do you ever compare yourself to someone and find that it gives you the push to achieve more or you don't compare because it discourages you more than anything else don't compare you really don't compare well it's supposed to be rapid so i i was starting

give me 15 seconds um i do look up at artists uh You know, like an artist like Anoni, even, you know, previously Anthony Johnson's. Anoni, I aspire to a level of artistry that I don't feel I've come anywhere close to. So, yes, there are people. But I don't compare myself in the way that's like, oh, I wish I could be anonier. I wish I could write like or I wish I could act like it's more just like a level of artistry. I'm doing what I do. There's a comparison only in that man, I admire, like Bowie, right?

walking in and seeing bowie i i don't it's not like i want to sing like him or act like him his artistry and what he brought to the world is what i would like to be so do i compare myself daily to bowie of course not but do i strive to have a level of artistry like a man like that fuck yes i love it krypton night you played some pretty dark characters what did you draw on to become who you needed to be in the moment the words it always comes back to the words and generally when it comes to these darker characters or violent characters, uh, I listen to very, uh, sad music, not your, like, you know, an athlete, you might amp yourself listening to whatever, rage against the machine or some fucking, yeah, I have always done the opposite. Whenever I've done these scenes,

I listen to music that absolutely generally makes me cry. And through that, I find if you rip yourself open and you're completely vulnerable in a vulnerable state, you can go anywhere you can make love as intensely as you can rip off the fucking skin off a human being because you're so open to anything and your senses you if you have no malleable yeah if you have no skin you're just everything affects you yeah so if it's love it's love if it's hate it's hate so that if any prep aside from the words being number one it's to try to make myself as in the most comfortably vulnerable raw state so every little bit of salt and vinegar hurts Interesting question. Lee G. Steve, my guy. My hairline has been...

Steve, my guy. Should we do a voice for this guy? Because if you're saying, Steve, I'll do it. I'll do it. My guy. Steve, my guy. My hairline's been receding up my head for the past decade now. What gives you the confidence to keep playing badass roles without a hat or a wig? You and Michael Kellier are my two heroes. Oh. You have... I love your hair. I love how you... It's just you kind of remind me of a young, uh jimmy buffett like a jimmy buffett like a hot jimmy buffett wow with a tan i've never smart with a good smile good sense of humor jimmy buffet well that feel where you're just like just

oh cash cash um did it ever work did you ever worry about oh my god my hair or i'm gonna shave it or i'm sure at some point i i shaved my head when i lived in new york for 20 years i shaved no one knew i had hair i'd shaved my head because i was i was like receding and i was like oh god and this was before the uh even before the bruce willis shaved his head days right so uh of course when you're younger you're like eh but then i was like fuck like i just don't get like even on the walking dead i always called it my murkin which for those out there the not americans yeah so there's always my murk and they were always wanting to spray it like spray it black to fill it in and i was like i don't need it like it doesn't matter if if someone out there thinks it's important i don't

understand what difference it makes like it is weird because i just have this little bit so like essentially my hair lines here it's you and who fucking cares it's funny talking of walking dead like ross uh who has beautiful curly hair because i'm always like god ross mark on yeah yeah i was like god ross it's it's beautiful look i just want to get my fingers on and he's just like i love your hair i want your hair so i think we just want i think it's about owning it and it's it's not like i walk around with confidence going yeah you know i mean like i said at the opening i'm fucking depressed for like eight days but not about your hair questioning my existence but my hair i have to say these days i'm like it's so long and glorious i'll sometimes be like sarah come look at the reflection of my hair in the

pool oh and one more thing pull my finger too i'm oh this has been an absolute treat you're such a character and you're so what you see is what you get and for people that assume you're this dark brooding character i think look we all have a little bit of that of different characters we play in us like whether it's small or whatever we channel from it but uh you're just an open book and um you know you're so talented but like you you you figure you figure it out i think what i learned from this it's inspirational is that you do go through dark times and it just you just comes to show you that you're going to get out of it you're going to get out of it and you're going to work through things and you have to at least do something to get yourself

out of it and you do those things that you know whether it's reading a book on a float for 15 hours straight or doing yoga or doing going on a hike or whatever it is you find ways to keep your sanity yeah I think you have to and I again I'm I'm still a work in progress because it doesn't always work or you know you I think it's always be fun to talk to are partners like you sort of what would they say because it is going to be different right the way it affects your partner and i know it affects my partner profoundly my moods yeah i try and you know i certainly am aware of like don't engage with me when i'm in this because of course she's a supportive partner that wants to support and is there for me and loves me but i sort of say

don't because i know i will just want to hurt you all only in the way that not hurt you. That sounds horrible. There's a sound bite. It's more if I'm in pain, I need someone else to feel pain. Misery loves company kind of thing. Yeah.

So it's like, no, just let me be. But that's got to be tough for a partner. Yeah, it's like I don't want you to feel like this. Yeah. I hate that you feel like shit.

But then you say, but this is just what happens to me. This is just like, I'll get out of it. And I know that if you engage with me, and by pain, I mean like, I'll want to fight or just fucking, yeah, well, like just to get someone else to feel pain that I'm

feeling. Right. And so that's, you know, one thing I've learned. And again, it's not always successful. And, you know, I feel like a fuck up a lot of times. But I try to. And it's, it's one thing to admit it because, you know, a lot of people are like, oh, you're so open with your emotions. And that's great. But I'd also be a better person if I changed it. Right. Right. I mean, that's, that's the true. talk about comparing yourself to people right i always do that i always think i wish i was as laid back as them i wish i could handle things like them i wish i could handle stress like that person i wish i could see the brighter side i wish i wasn't so judgmental at times i wish i wasn't that and all you could do is really just try not to be you know and do your best and try to change the way you're

thinking and the way you're acting and be aware of it so i have a thing where if i say hate something I have to immediately say three things I love. So if I go, I hate Ryan's socks. I was going to say that too, actually. Yeah, I go, you know, I like Ryan's beard. I like his smile. I like his attitude. And then there I am.

I just changed it. Three loves. That's so smart. And it's something, I would disagree with what you said about him now. But what we started. started with like feel versus understanding when I'm in my thing I hate that I can't feel grateful and that's to be perfectly honest yeah my partner she wakes up feeling grateful it's a it's for what we have yeah everything she's just like I'm so grateful and and I once had a therapist say to me

well you're an actor pretend I was like I don't act to pretend in my real life to to be happy. That's not what an actor does. That's not the fucking job description or that's not my interest. But it's, that's what I hate is being able to, my feelings overtake that. So it's sort of like saying one bad and three, good. I couldn't when I was in just, hell, dark days, just feeling horrible and hopeless. I couldn't feel love. I couldn't feel grateful. I couldn't feel. And I know I'm great like I know I am grateful I'm very fortunate I get it I try but I couldn't feel it because all I could feel was the dark I on another level I understand that because I deal with a lot of pain I live with a lot of pain so um I physical yeah so I could easily go um I'm in pain right now

it sucks and I go I'm grateful that I have this nice house I'm grateful that I have these beautiful dogs I'm grateful that I have wonderful friends I'm grateful that I have wonderful friends I'm grateful but I'm still feeling pain you know what I mean so it's it's just they say it's science but the more you say the things you're grateful for it does make you feel better even if uh even if you think it doesn't yep so you know next time you're feeling dark and all this stuff and you're like you know nothing's going to help gratitude you're not just try it try just saying in your head I'm grateful for my girlfriend I'm grateful for my dog I'm grateful for my boogey my my boogey raft I'm grateful for my truck. I'm grateful for my mom. I'm grateful for all these things. And it'll put a smile on your face.

I got this. I got money in the bank. I got this. Just try it because it does help because you'll start. And I do. Like I do in obviously with yoga, even in when I'm feeling shit. I do end up doing that. And there is. And I think that's why again, the spinning on the peloton. And what that does to my chemistry is I feel gratitude. There you go. And it's so I sometimes don't always articulate it. but I feel it through the experience of doing something. Yeah. It brings me love back in my heart. It brings me gratitude,

but I can feel it. Like as the darkness felt is replaced by a feeling of love. There it is. Be it temporary or not. Yeah. That's a big thing. No matter how ephemeral, it's like it's there for that moment, for that fleeting moment, whatever. It's just like, you know, anyway, dude, you're awesome.

Thanks for being here. Thank you. This is wonderful. Wait, I didn't get charged for my donut. It was free with this Tim's rewards points. I think I just stole it. I'm a donut stealer. Oof.

Earn points so fast, it'll seem too good to be true. Plus, join Tim's Rewards today and get enough points for a free donut, drink, or timbits. With 800 points after registration, activation, and first purchase of a dollar or more. See the Tim's app for details at participating in restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Awesome. Stephen, I love you. You're amazing. I'll text you right after this.

And I heard a loud noise in the background. It was probably my dog farting. So that's the way it is. But thanks for coming on the podcast, man. You're awesome. You're top-notch, dude. And I really appreciate you open it up and being cool. And that's about all I have to say about that.

You know, now it's time to read off the top tier patrons. And I can't say enough about you guys. Thanks for staying, what's the word? staying true being so supportive and you know i try to get the best guess i can but i get all the guests so um you know some people they're always asking you know can you get this i'm always trying ryan but you can't always sometimes you get you know guess the people want sometimes you don't but uh it's more about the conversations right yeah seeing how what makes people tick and seeing how they get through things so i think it's about

conversations and mental health and all that stuff so here's our top tier is patron dot com slash inside if you want to join us nancy d little lisa ukeko b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b They've been around forever. Love it. Love you guys. Mike. El Don Supremo or El Dan Supremo. 99 more, Santiago M.

Maddie S. Kendrick F. Belinda N. Dave H. Dave H. Dave H. Brad D. Ray H. Tabitha T. Tom N. Talia M. Betsy D. Rian C. Michelle A. Jeremy C. Eugene and Leah.

Mel S. Eric H. Oracle. Amanda R. William K. and Kevin E. We have to have another hookup with the patrons. You know, we should do an inside of you night in Chicago this year. Oh.

So I'll come a night early and we'll meet at a bar and it will just be the inside of you patrons. Interesting. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because I can't do both podcasts because there's, you know,

Talkville has so many more patrons. Yeah. But that'd be nice to see you guys if you're coming to Chicago or I could try to coordinate something else. So I'll remind me to send a message to the patrons and see where they're going to be. And if there's a lot of people at a certain con, we'll do that. And if Ryan's there, you get Ryan too.

Jarrell, Jammin, Jay, Leanne, J, Luna, Jules M, Jessica B, Kaylee J, Charlene A, Marion Louise L, Romeo of the band, Frank B, Gen T, April R, Randy S, Claudia, Rachel D, Nick W, Stephanie and Evan known as. Stevin. Take it. It's Charlene A, Don G. Jenny. 7, 6, Tina E. N. G. Tracy. Keith B. Heather and Greg. Grather. Yep. L.E.K. Ben B. Jamin. P.R.C. Sultan. Ingrid C. Christina S. Dive T. David T. David L. Jill and Brett. Drill. Drill. Drill. Jeff G. and Kareem H. We love you guys. Thank you so much for supporting us. And from Hollywood Hills in Hollywood, California. I'm Michael Rose. I'm writing to his. I'm here too. A little way to the camera. We love you. Be good to yourself. See you next week.

Hi, I'm Joe Sal C. Hi, host of the stacking Benjamin's podcast. Today, we're going to talk about what if you came across $50,000. What would you do? Put it into a tax-advantaged retirement account. The mortgage. That's what we do. Make a down payment on a home. Something nice. Buying a vehicle. A separate bucket for this edition that we're adding. $50,000. I'll buy a new podcast. You'll buy new friends. And we're done. Thanks for playing everybody.

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