Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Supergirl’s David Harewood: Fear to Fail & Mental Breakdowns

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

The very brave and charismatic David Harewood (Supergirl, Homeland) joins us this week and opens up about his battle with mental illness and how it shaped his life. David shares how acting and friendship both literally saved his life from his own psychosis; a big reason he’s made it a point to bring more awareness to the field of mental health. Later we get into Supergirl, his role as the Martian Manhunter, and his true feelings about the show’s finale. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You're listening. to inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum or watching on YouTube where you can also subscribe. Ryan, good afternoon. Good afternoon. It's a special day.

We have a special surprise for you at the end of the show in the outro and I think he'll think it of a nice surprise. It will be a nice surprise, I think, yeah. Yeah, it's something that hasn't happened in over a year. Oh, Nyapon, yeah. A year.

Yeah. We've got a great guest today talking about, talk about mental health. talk about a guy who lets it all out, puts it all out there on the table and says, this is me, this is what happened, this is who I am, this is what I think of everything. And man, it blew me away and I just, David Hare would just knock me off my socks with some of his stories and his honesty. And I really, really appreciated him to come on and be divulge so much. Before we get into that, letting you know that my band Sunspin has a concert and it's coming

up very soon. It is this coming Saturday, May 29th, 2 p.m. 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. You can get tickets. If you just go to sunspin.com, they could redirect you there. You could also get merch. You can get, uh, you could book me for a Zoom or you book us for the band for Zoom and, uh, you uh, you can book the band if you want. People have done that day. We've played at an outdoor place and it's been fun. Um, do you just burp? I did. Well, thank you. That's, uh, definitely, I can't hide this that validates my band sunspin you could also follow us at at sunspin band on all social media which would be really really nice and on spotify follow us please we're now on spotify and trying to get those listeners up and i think you'll enjoy the the band the album sunspin called best days uh inside of

you online store is open we've got lex luther stuff small the lunch boxes left we've got hats and shirts and mugs and tumblers and just all sorts of fun stuff so you might be want to go there. And if you want to follow the podcast, you could do that. Ryan. At Inside of You pod on Twitter. At Inside of You podcast on Instagram and Facebook. There's a dog. Blanche just walked in out. Please get the hell out. I love you. Get the hell out. Thank you. You already had your walk. She just comes in here like, what's going on? And please subscribe. I always say this, but it really helps the show when you subscribe, you tell others. And if you're enjoying yourself and you like the podcast you want to continue, I would ask you to just,

get other people to listen and subscribe guys i love you thank you to all my patrons uh i'd love you to join patreon dot com slash inside of you join the family i will send you a message right after you join uh it helps the podcast on the side you get the little perks there's tears check it out patreon dot com slash inside of you and um patron's a good time so i hope you uh you join the family and um i'm still trying to have camp rosy that's going to probably happen next year and uh if you're a patron you'll be invited first there are guidelines you know um and things like that you know but it will be a lot of fun trying to have as much fun in my life as i can trying to enjoy things more trying to enjoy you know what hey i'm i'm really today i feel positive i feel i'm just

i'm happy i'm proud of myself for sticking with this podcast i'm proud of uh you guys are thankful more more for being grateful for you guys for sticking with me i'm always talking about how I want to grow the audience and all that. But at the end of the day, I still love doing it. I still love everyone. Big shout out to Cumulus and to Ryan, my editor-engineer, and to Bryce, who tries to make these, or does make these shows even better by tightening them up and giving you a little, giving you something pleasant to listen to, I hope.

A great podcast with Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patrick. People are talking about that, Charisma Carpenter from last week. People are loving that. A lot of stuff. went viral if you haven't listened to it Erica Christensen from Parenthood and traffic we try to get into it and today we're going to get into it so without further ado from the show Supergirl he's been in tons of stuff he has a fascinating fascinating story so brace yourself let's get inside of David Harewood it's my point of you you're listening to inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum

Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. Since you're filming, do you have to get COVID test constantly? Three times a week, do. And how much do you hate it on a scale from one to hate? It's necessary. And actually, we feel, to be honest with you, we, we, it's, I feel safer on set than I do. Offset, because at least I know on set, everyone's tested. and you know everyone's playing by the rules whereas you know in real life you know you don't know

who's doing what so so um uh i feel quite safe it's i feel quite safe on set and they've they've gone some way to to making us feel very safe with each other well you know i've talked to a lot of actors and i hear all the stuff because i've chosen not to act during this time and you know i hear on set it's you know you're you're wearing masks sometimes they have these little devices you have to put on to rehearse these certain masks these like plexiglass things it just it just feels like it's you know it's when you're on set you want to be comfortable you're already in your head you want to be great you want to do your job and now you got all this other shit around you it feels like it's a pain in the ass and it takes time to at least

get used to how many i mean how long have you been doing it like this oh since the beginning um and it's it's um it's uh it's tough man it's tough you know as a you. It's not a great way to go out. This is our last season. So, you know, I mean, I still don't know what half the makeup girls look like. You know, it's like everyone's got this mask up. So we're all sort of shrouded in fucking gel and masking and PPE. And it does occasionally get annoying and grating. But listen, if it's keeping everybody safe, let's just let's do it. Are there some actors that you're working with, you don't have to give me names, but it's just like while you're doing it, they can't deal with it. Some deal with it better than others, but some are like, fuck, come on. I fucking can't get this fucking mask on. And they, everyone's, everyone's really getting into it. Everyone's, you know, everyone's really, everyone's really, um, they're pitching in. Because, you know, I mean, you know, I mean, you know, the very first lockdown, you know, that was the first time in nine years that I stopped working. Wow.

And it was, it was great. It was great. And it was, it was, it was nice to be, um, to suddenly, you know, find that, you could, you know, you had been told to stop. And it was very refreshing, I have to say, very refreshing. But towards the end of it, you know, I started to, I started to think, you know, the hebi-jeebies, I wanted to get back to, get back to it. Yeah.

And I feel very lucky that, you know, some of my friends have worked a day since the whole thing started, so. I feel very lucky that I'm working and very fortunate that I'm working and it's a fucking pandemic and so many people have lost their jobs yeah I've got their money and and and really struggling so I guess I feel very grateful that I've had the opportunity to work and even more grateful that everybody on set is pitching in and and they're getting on with it yeah do you feel like you're someone who has to work like I know a lot of my friends who if they're not working they go insane.

I think I go a little insane. Do you feel like the anxiety creeps in all these other start, these outside factors, you get inside your head if you're not working? Maybe back in the day. But, you know, but, but,

but, that was to do with, just trying to keep a roof over the head. You know, I mean, you know, when you're, when you're,

when you're skin and you, you know, and you know, you're just jobing, going from job to job and, you know, opportunities are, opportunities are, um,

are rare and you know it can get very frustrating and you know you just you just want to be

not just want to be working you want to be I can remember a week two in a couple of weeks before I got a homeland just staring up at the fucking ceiling

you know the two kids in the other bedroom I couldn't pay the rent I couldn't pay the mortgage and I broke and I'm so so it was it was a case of

you know I've got to work you know I've got to get out there and and find a gig and you know maybe I need to you know

go and drive a bus or something you know because you've got to make some money fortunately those days seem to be behind me but I'm not I'm not like a

I don't always have a Jones for work I mean I'm really looking forward to getting to the end of this current gig and kind of reassessing and spend and saying no I haven't been in the position to say no to work for years, or ever.

So it's going to be nice to sit back and choose the direction I want to go next, as opposed to having to jump on something just because I need to pay the mortgage. Yeah, it seems like there would be a lot more stress too, not only when you're trying to support two kids and put a roof over your head, but at the same time you're on set and you just have a new job and this is it. You're like, oh, my God, this means so much, so much more than a lot of people when they're working and they take it for granted. People take it for granted. But it just seems like the pressure to be great, to be good, to keep your job would be more intense. Did you feel like

that in the first go at it? Yeah, I mean, I'd never done an American accent before. So there was huge pressure on me to, I had 16 days from getting the gig to starting the gig. So there was pressure on me to, you know, learn the accent. And, you know, you're working up as it, you know, great actors, Mandy Patinket and Claire Daines, you know, and I've been out of work for nine months. And so it took some sort of mental, it took a leap of sort of mental faith and sort of belief in yourself to get there and go, you know what, I'm going to put all that shit out out of my head. I'm just going to turn up on the day and try and be the best that I can be. But, you know, it's, it was nerve-wracking.

Yeah. You try and put all that stuff out of your head. Well, it just seems like fear is something that I know. an actor you get right away when you get the job and someone's like you're hired and then all of a sudden can i do it can i you know all these and you're like what are you talking about you've been doing this you've done this your whole life how do and then that fear it's overwhelming and then the more you work on it the more you start to do things that starts to dissipate or whatever absolutely you know you're never going to not have that fear you know you you always i think

most actors the first day for most actors is always a little bit nerve wracking oh yeah because you know you're in new company, dealing with expectations. You know, I've known actors be fired after the read-through, you know, to get the job and then be fired after the read-through. Or get the job and be fired after a couple of days. You know, it's so, you know, you never feel 100% you can't feel 100% safe. Right. You know, so I think, you know, going in and just doing it, giving it your best,

If you give it your best, and it doesn't work out, you know, you've got to just take your hats up to that. You know, I've been close to that and a couple, a couple of, you know, once or twice. But, you know, you can only do your best now. You know, if I turn up and my best, my best isn't good enough, it's not good enough. I know I say that. See, I say that, David. I say, you know what? Fuck them.

Do your shit. Do what you do. And if it all falls apart and then it falls apart. And you're like, where's a tough guy now? Huh? Where's the tough guy? And I haven't been fired a lot, but I've been fired before where I sat there and I hung up the phone. You know, the producer calls me and he was in tears because he was like, this is a shock.

You know, we already shot the thing. And remember he says, like, I just want to get to it, but, you know, this is the way it is. And I said, hey, listen, let's not make this weird. I love you. I love working with you. Let's just, you know, hey, we'll keep in touch, man. I appreciate the job. And I hung up and I, it was one of those moments where I'm numb.

You're numb and you look at the ceiling. and you see the one spot of black or whatever it is on the ceiling and you just stare at it. And then I took a deep breath and I go, my dog came up to me and I go, oh, but look, I have this dog and I have a roof over my head and I'm not dead. And I started to say these gratitudes, which kind of helped, even though I half believe them half didn't, but I've been in that position where you're like, okay, and you're almost embarrassed. I think you are. I think part of it's embarrassment.

Like everybody's going to know I got fired. no one's going to hire me. I'm, you know, it's a very difficult kind of thing. You can easily spiral downward, but I didn't. Without a doubt. That's why it's important to, I'm sure your dog pulled you out of it, you know,

but it's important to have, you know, you know, to have that strength of mind. I think, you know, I say, I did a documentary years, a couple years ago on failure in the acting industry. And it's really interesting how, at first, nobody wanted to talk to me. Of first, everybody went, well, fuck, I'm not touching that.

You know, I don't want to touch failure. But, you know, once I started kind of opening up the subjects and talking about difficult times they've had in their careers or a bad review or a series of bad reviews, a bad word, you know, you start to understand it's just another part of the business that you have to navigate. You know, yeah, you can be on the highs. The highs are great.

Fucking highs are great. Getting work, money, all that's great. but the lows are hard and sometimes the lows I think you learn more in the lows than you do in the highs it's in the lows when you sit there and go let me fucking figure out let me think about this

think about this I mean how am I doing today you really have to work on yourself and really kind of get in touch with with you know with something that I you know I think will teach you resilience you'll learn resilience you don't learn anything from success

you know you just bob along with everything It's going well, yeah, it's great. It's only when you hit a hard time that you go, you start asking yourself questions, start thinking, am I tough enough to get through this? I'm like, am I resilient enough to get through this? Can I, you know, can I push through this difficult time? I've had difficult times.

You know, right now things are great, but if I hadn't have had those tough times, I don't think I'd appreciate the times I, where I am now. So, you know, I see those dark days as, as a part of business and to be embraced just as much as the successful moments. Yeah. And when you think about it, especially nowadays with Twitter and everybody's just on to the next thing. That failure, what is it really? You know, you do something. You're on Twitter for maybe a minute and then you're gone.

And I start to say to myself, Michael, no one gives a shit about you really. No one gives a shit about you really. no one gives a shit just fucking do it and if you fail somebody's gonna go oh my god he next thing oh look at this this guy fell on his head you know what i mean it's one of those things where it's just uh what's the word it just it's it's ephemeral it's short-lived it's and that that gives me comfort in a way knowing that i'm not that and fucking important that's that's it's it's not that important you know it really is you know it's you know people dying of cancer and COVID, you know, I mean, there's real stuff going on in the world. And, you know,

I, you know, I think you've got to keep a handle on you know, allowing things to spar it out of control. Did you always want to be an actor? No, I mean, I, I don't know, you know, I was a bit of a clown at school, you know? A bit of a fucking idiot. Just, I wasn't

very academic. I just didn't find it interesting. And I do now, which is weird, you know, But I don't think then I was developed enough to really understand the final points of geography and sociology. I was like, how am I going to apply any of this to my life? It all seems like nonsense. So I couldn't really ever tune into it.

So I was messing around and back a class. And I was always up for a school play, always up for messing, you know, always up for jumping in school plays and stuff. and at the end of my school I was about five weeks away from leaving school and a teacher called me call me at home and said, you know, come into the school we'd like to talk to you, so I went in

and didn't know what he was going to say. You know, he said, what are you going to do when you leave school here? Wouldn't I said, I don't know. Trumbed my shoulders. And he just said, well, we've been talking in the staff room and we all think you should be an actor. Fucking liebog went on in my head.

I just went fuck of course it sounds like a great idea not knowing how you did it how you became one it just

it just seemed to fit my sort of world view and I sort of spend the next you know two three years

auditioning going to go into the National Youth Theatre I was told at the National Year theatre I was invited back to the National so you think it's the following year,

and they said I should go to drama school to a audition for a load of drama schools and got into Rada, which is one of the best drama schools in the fucking world. And I had no idea that that was going to, you know, it was all a fluke because I actually cancelled my Rada audition because I got in somewhere out, not knowing anything about drama schools.

I wrote after a whole load of drama schools, rejected from the first three, and went to the next one and was accepted, and just cancelled all the remaining auditions which happened to be the remaining ones were the top five drama schools in the country and for some bizarre reason the Rada letter never arrived

my cancellation letter never arrived so they phoned me up the day after I was supposedly supposed to be there and asked me why I didn't turn up and I just old face lied as I thought of my mother was ill and they said well yes you're lucky day because somebody's dropped out on Friday, you know, which was the next following

day, said, would you like another shot? I went, yeah, sure. I just went down without care in the world. Didn't give a fuck. Yeah, you know, and I got in and I canceled the crack place, which ended up going to Rada. Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts you got into almost as an accident. Now, I mean, do you think if those people didn't call you in high school and say, Look, David, you never would have done it. Yeah. I get it. And this is a, this is a, this is a, you know, I, I touch upon this.

I'm writing my, I'm just written my first book. And I touch upon this in, this sense of value that, that I struggled with. I have a, you know, in Britain as a young black kid, weren't any black people on television. There was very few depictions of black success, you know, on British television. So my, as a working class, first generation immigrant child, I was very,

my expectations of what I could do were really quite basic. You know, I thought it was probably a factory or assembly line or, you know, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't even, I didn't even think it was possible for me to be an actor. You know, I just had, you know,

so if they hadn't suggested it, I certainly wouldn't have tried to do it. I just would have thought that stuff was off-limits to me. And it took me a while to settle into that, into the profession, into the kind of mold. But that sense of value, it's, I've been battling with it for years. It would be years.

I've had a, I've had a, America's given, America's given me a load of it. It's given me a load of that, of that acknowledgement, you know, homeland, come on in. You know, Supergirl, come on in. Come on in. You want to direct the show? Let's direct the show.

You want a movie? Here's a movie. You know, and I've never had any of that in England. Never had any of it. So it was sort of, it's my sense of value, I think I found my sense of value in America. So it's going to be interesting to go back to England, which is really not given me very much to see if I can maintain this sense of sense. self-worth because it's a tough it's it's a battle in england it's a back do you feel like there's

like growing up that it was just like you can just feel it you felt like you know they're looking at me differently there did you feel it there well i mean you know this is an interesting conversations we having with an american because you know i mean american it's it's an it's an admitted fact in america racism is an admitted fact of america yeah you talk about openly talked about it's a fact of life, you deal with it. Whereas in England, there was a report literally just released this morning, which apparently says institutional racism doesn't exist. Racism, it doesn't exist.

Britain is a beacon of diversity around the world, and we should look for other reasons as to why a disproportionate number of people of colour are still at the bottom end of the socio-economic level. I mean, it's the ultimate gaslight that Britain is involved with right now to say that, you know, besides this whole thing with, not that I'm a royalist at all, but this whole thing with Megan and Harry

and all this stuff, you know, the following day after that interview when Oprah's interview went out, how fucking Britain was shaking. Us, racist? We're not racist. It's your fault. How dare you say we're racist?

In England, to accuse somebody of racist, racism, to point out racism in England is to accuse somebody of being, is to leave yourself open to accusations of being called the racist. So you can't even have the discussion in Britain because it's denied, it's ignored, it's disparaged. So I can't even have that conversation. So all this, you know, it's a, it's a very peculiar mindset that we find ourselves in. in Britain. And so it's, that ties into my, and I'm not surprised as to why so many, you know, I did a documentary a couple years ago about mental health and, you know, black Britons are 10 times more likely to suffer from mental health conditions, four times more likely to be sectioned under the Mental Health Act. And it's no surprise because you're, you're being gaslit the whole, the whole time by people who tell you that your life experience, you'll live experience actually doesn't matter or is a figment of your imagination.

So it's a tough one. Wow. It's a really, it's a really tough one there. Inside of you is brought to you by Quince. I love Quince, Ryan. I've told you this before. I got this awesome $60 cashmere sweater. I wear it religiously.

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if you're close to going over budget and even when you're doing a good job. How doesn't everybody have Rocket Money? It's insane. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum in the survey so they know that I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show. do you ever go back to your old teachers who brought you in that day i always feel like there's you know there's a certain amount of people who believe in you while you're growing up

that help you in your career whatever it is there's like i could i could pick there's like a handful that said that they believed in me that kept bringing me back do you ever go see them oh yeah i mean i went to see um i actually did a documentary with the team the very teacher who told me to be an actor I did a documentary back at my old school where he used to teach me and the producers at one point sent him in the room as I was teaching these students about acting

they sent him in the room to sort of surprise me and it was quite emotional because literally everything that I all the clothes the roof over my head has all come from acting and I wouldn't have done that It wasn't for that one man. What was his name?

Mr. Reeder, Eric Reeder. And I thanked him a million times, quoted him a million times. And, you know, he literally redirected my entire life. Did you cry? Did you cry when you saw him? I did. I choked up a little bit. I've got to be honest with you.

Yeah, I know I kind of always do because I kind of think if it wasn't for him, I don't know what I'd be doing there. I'd probably be, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what I'd be doing. It'll probably be, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, because, because, uh, there really aren't that many opportunities to get out. Acting is a great way of getting out and, and I've been successful at it, um, and I've been very lucky, uh, lucky, you know, with, with, with what it's given me. But, uh, short of that, I don't know what, I don't know, where, where, where would I have succeeded. You know, how would I have, how would I have traveled? How would I have seen the world? How would I have experienced life?

It's kind of frightening to think about it. Do you think were you ever, like I was one of those guys who was just uncomfortable with who I was. I didn't know who I was. I didn't have a lot of confidence. You know, I didn't hear, I love you from my dad. I didn't hear you're good. I didn't hear any of that shit.

So when I started acting, it was the first time people noticed me. So I felt like, oh, as long as I don't have to be me, I'm good. So being these characters, being. in shows, getting this acknowledgement, that's what saved me ultimately and also has slowly destroyed me in a lot of ways because that's the only way I know what success is. I'm like, oh, happiness is having someone tell you, you're great. Oh, that feels good, but then it goes away, right? It goes away.

So it's not sustained. I didn't remember, you know, doing theater for a while and, you know, having some success in theater and then, you know, you know, getting on the television and, you know, making money and being on the TV every couple of nights and, you know, the girls are looking at you and all you can get into the clubs and suddenly people are finally a drink. And it's great for a while, get laid a couple of times. Oh, yeah. But then it very quickly lost, it's luster to me. Very quickly got dull and boring. And I'm glad I went through it as a, as a living experience, but there's, there's, you know, all that recognition stuff and this desire for

some kind of acceptance or acknowledgement, I, I, it wasn't about that for me, very quickly wasn't about that for me. It was, you know, I love doing what I do. Uh, uh, I love telling stories. Uh, and I, I love acting and, uh, but it's not, it's not something I do for acknowledgement anymore. I think I did, I used to, but, but I, but I, I do it. And then, you know, then there's, there's been times when I've just done it for the money. But now I'm really trying to do it because I want, now I want to do it because I really enjoy the art for, and I really enjoy, you know, working with specific people and, you know,

I want to get a specific thing out of a specific role. So, so it's not, it's no longer about the acknowledgement from the outside, I think, for me. That's a healthy attitude. And that takes, that takes some time. It's taken me 30 years. You know, it's taken me 30 years. You know, I'm, you know, and I've just written this book, as I said, where I've sort of, because I don't know, I had a breakdown, a psychotic breakdown when I came out of drama school,

two years out of drama school, spent two weeks in the mental institution. And it was tough. You know, I lost my mind. And I kind of recovered from that, sort of got better, put it in the box, buried. it for 30 years and a couple years ago did a documentary where I retraced my steps

to find out what the fuck that was all about which was really scary and very it was very scary time because I as I said I'd buried it so deep I didn't think I'd ever find it but throughout doing this documentary

it was suddenly right there you know the pain of why I'd gone crazy and it's just a reality of having a breakdown, you know, really came home. And that was the My Psychosis and Me on the BBC? Was that? It was really tough. The toughest thing I've ever done. But I was given my medical records during a sequence of filming.

And I couldn't look at it. I looked at it once and it terrified. because it's a record of all the things I said as I was crazy and it's really tough to read and I put it in an envelope and I put it on the shelf at the back there and I didn't look at it for two years

and when I started to write this book I knew I had to look at it I knew I had to look at it so I spent six months with it looking at it reading it and it was scary But now that I've sat with it, now that I've been with that pain

and been with that, been with all that, all the stuff that sent me crazy, it's actually made me stronger. I feel better. I feel like I got in touch with the things that really made me vulnerable, the things that really made me, that ticked me over the edge.

And I've sort of deciphered the things that I'm saying, almost like a, almost like how you can interpret a dream. but I think I've sort of interpreted the things I'm saying and it's been a really interesting journey to uncover your deepest, darkest secrets and to look at your crazy self and sort of come to terms with it and kind of hold it and not be afraid of it anymore.

And I feel as though I feel as though it's been of really healing, process for me. And now there's not really that much that terrifies me or frightens me or, or, you know, I feel very, I feel very in possession of myself for the first time in many, many, many years. And I can be really honest with myself. So, and I don't think I could be before. So I feel pretty good about, I've been pretty good about where I am and the work that I've been

doing on self. I still see a therapist that I speak to every week. And that's been really helpful, really, really helpful. And it keeps me in touch with the work on self. This can be very isolating. You know what it's like when you're working away. You're in a hotel room or you're in an apartment somewhere. And it's even more crazy in COVID because we're literally, we've kind of subtly been asked not to go out or subtly been asked not to go to a bar or go to a restaurant because you could catch COVID.

Right. So we're all sort of going to work and coming home. We've got to work, come home, got to work, come home. And that's it. That's been it for like five months. And it's been mind-numbingly tough. Yeah. But the book, you know, I sat here and I spent my time writing the book

and um and um and uh i've it's been a really i think this whole period has been very has been uh been very helpful for me to kind of get in touch with something which is a bit deeper well you know you're incredibly brave and i i say that with the utmost respect because you know i talk a lot about anxiety depression therapy and things like that it's kind of something that just comes up a lot of times uh you know i had the guy stephen emel who's a friend of mine from arrow had an anxiety attack on the show and he said record it keep it going, Eric, I want, this is important, and that's brave. And like, you know, I look at what you've done and what you're doing. And a lot of people would say, you know, thank God, now it's starting

to open up a little where people are talking about therapy. They're talking about maybe see, it used to be where no one talked about it. And I came from a household where my dad wouldn't even go near it. You know, he easily could say the word crazy or this, but, you know, and he has his own things, his own issues. But I look at you as somebody who opens up and says, this is my life. this is this is what happened me this is what i overcame what i faced and it's just huge i mean it's you know and i think about when you said you had that break and you went to a mental institution and the first thing that came to mind was well what caused that break like was it is it partly genetic is it uh something you were going through it was you're not yourself

you couldn't what what happened to get you to that point a mixture of things you know it was partly what was genetic. My father had a breakdown, so I guess it should have put me on high alerts. And, you know, I've learned so much, you know, through the investigation of trying to understand what psychosis is. But yes, my father had a bout of hypertension.

And as I said, I have learned that it can be genetic. It can pass from through the family. But also, you know, first-generation, you know, immigrants being in a city can cause it. Adolescents can cause it. You know, training. Through this, I've been staggered, I have to say, but I'm staggered by the number of young actors who have had breakdowns. Young students who have had breakdown. The number of people, once, when I did my, when my documentary came out,

at least three teachers and principals independently called me after the documentary came out and said, thank you for doing what you did, amazing documentary, but can you please speak to my student? He's a young black kid. He's had a breakdown as well. And, you know, he's seen what you've done and can you speak to him and kind of pull him out of it? And I couldn't do it at the time because I was just too raw. The whole fucking thing was just, it just left me just, you know, really left me really raw and exposed. I'm better now, but when it went out,

I fucking whole world was like, knew my business. And it was tough because I'd walk down the street next day. And people were, and I've always, you know, as actors, we have this sort of veneer of unapproachability sometimes. People are a little bit, oh, that's the guy from TV.

Leave me alone, give my wife, but that gone. People were like, Mr. Harewood, I just want to say, thank you so much. my mom had a break, my dad had a break, my uncle, this happened to my brother, people were just coming up to me, non-stop on the street,

telling me that it happened to their moms, their dads, their brothers, their sister. And it was painful. Because, you know, you'd find yourself on the street, sobbing, complete strangers. And what the documentary did, it seemed to give people license to talk about it. It gave people a language to talk about it.

Whereas before, no one, it's so taboo, no one talks about it, And that's one of the reasons why I did it is, you know, people talk about anxiety. People talk about depression all the time. Nobody talks about psychosis because it's, you lose your mind. The fucking men in the white coats come and take you away. How do you know you've lost your mind? It's hard, but, you know, it's, it's, it's, uh, when it comes to psychosis, it's normally, it's

normally, uh, preceded by a sort of mania, like a, like a, like a rushing, a, like, uh, euphoria. you know you see people who've got they're talking like 100 miles an hour or they're really you know you see people on the tube and they're covered in colours, bright colours you know and you can see that they're clearly not quite right these are people on that they're started to start to lose their group with reality

and what can happen is you get these delusions and you get hallucinations. Thought disorders where your thoughts are jumbled you know where you're talking 100 miles an hour or you might think you can control the weather you might think that you can speak to aliens from another planet you know those it's delusions

and hallucinations and I had them for months and you know the reason why a lot of people don't seek help is because sometimes it's actually quite exciting it's like this it's like dopamine

sort of rush of adrenaline and dopamine in your mind and you're racing you're racing and it's hard to it's hard to spot your friends might spot it your friends might say, it's a bit bizarre, the behaviour is a bit bizarre today,

you know, but you might think, I'm fucking great. I'm having a great time. Do you know what? I've got this great idea to do this, and you're, you know,

you're writing plays, and I've got one guy who said to me, he wrote a whole play, you know, because he just was just buzzing out of his mind. And it's, it's, it's, it is difficult to spot,

but, you know, treatment has become a better now, and, you know, if you've got friends or family and loved ones, the earlier they can get you help, the better. The earlier you acknowledge that there's a problem, the better. And I will say this to you,

that had I had my breakdown in America, I would be dead. I would have been shot. Why is that? No, fucking two ways about it. I had seven policemen sitting on me, holding me down in the hospital to give me a rapid, what they call a rapid tranquilization, which was to sedate me.

and knocked me out. I was screaming at the top of my voice and very distressed. And I was very lucky that my friends were with me and were sort of pleading with everyone around that I just wasn't a crazy big black man. Because the minute you lose it, out there on the street, particularly in America,

if you're going a little bit... You could be homeless, Yes. You see, it's not, it's, it's, what, what I, what I think they've done really well in England, what they're starting to do is to separate the criminality from the mental health aspect of it. And I don't think they do that in the States. If you are, and I think there was one guy there a couple of years ago, was literally running down the middle of street naked, they put a spit hood on him, put a spit hood on him, because we're laughing at him. And in the end, I think he died, you know, with, by asphyxiation, they just fucking. shots in. So, you know, I think mental health is a huge subject in America. Black mental health is a huge subject in

America. But I think it's a tricky one to broach. There's a lot of, there's a lot of there's a lot of air around mental health, around black mental health. You know, we're starting to discuss that in England now.

But I, you know, I'm not sure it's a conversation where the mental health conversation has been really drilled into in the States. Ontario, the weight is over. The gold standard of online casinos has arrived. Golden Nugget Online Casino is live, bringing Vegas-style excitement

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Please play responsibly. Ever wonder how dark the world can really get? Well, we dive into the twisted, the terrifying, and the true stories behind some of the world's most chilling crimes. Hi, I'm Ben. And I'm Nicole. Together we host Wicked and Grim, a true crime podcast that unpacks real-life horrors one case at a time.

With deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink to take the edge off we're here to explore the wicked and reveal the grim we are wicked and grim follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform so you didn't go in on your own behalf one of your friends said it's time like they well how did that happen a friend of yours yeah they they they uh intervention thing started to get started to get wind that something wasn't right and you know friends started turning up at my door and i was like hey great great to see you guys. And, you know, they'd come in and we'd speak and I'd crash out for, you know,

I'd crash out for four hours and wake up and come back. Oh, you're still here! You know, and they were like, fuck me, Dave's not, there's something's not right here. So they, it took him a long time to persuade me to go to the doctors. And then when I finally went, it didn't go particularly well. And the doctor was just a bit dismissive, really. and he gave us a bottle of tablets

and but he's dismissive his dismissive manner kind of upset all of us and I remember we all got back to the house and I looked at the tablets and I'm like guys are we really gonna what do we think about this

and we all of us sort of sat there and I think he was talking bollocks and he threw him in the bin and and I three weeks later had a massive breakdown massive psychological breakdown well I just lost control of it lost control all I was sleeping

and I was very hyper so but I was lucky that I was lucky that they came back to the house and found me and decided to try and drive me to Birmingham which was where my

mother lived but on the way out of London I started passing out and and and they thought I was dying. So they drove me to a hospital where I collapsed

and was put in a wheelchair and then leapt out of this wheelchair and ran screaming around the hospital. Screaming. I don't remember any of this, but I was screaming. And you're not on anything. You're not on anything at this point. This is just the break. Yeah.

And you're screaming around, okay. Very, you're very disturbed. Very, as I say, very, I have these voices in my head I mean it's a whole It's a whole We'll do a whole program I mean it was extraordinary

When you hear voices in your head Yeah I'm not talking about whispers I'm talking about full on baritone voice echoing around my head And I'm like Wow

It's 3 o'clock in the morning And it's Martin Luther King I'm here to tell you Next stage I'm fucking here hearing his voice in my head. And I'm like, he's telling me this whole fucking thing about

this galactic, this fucking extraterrestrial fucking thing that he was telling me that the minute he was, and it's such a crazy idea, but the minute he was shot, he said, the minute he died, reality became, he said, remember I did that speech, I have a dream? I said, yes. He says, well, I'm speaking to you now.

Reality is my dream. And you are living in my dream. and I have to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm contacting various people around the world who tonight are going to sacrifice themselves and close the gap between good and evil and rid the world of poverty and illness and badness. It was huge. Wow.

It was fucking huge. And I'm sobbing in my bedroom thinking, this is extraordinary. It can't be real. He said, yes, it's all real. You have to get up. You have to walk to this place. walk to Camden, which was about an hour walk from where I live. And I walked all the way to this place that he told me to walk to him.

And obviously it was fucking closed. It was 3 o'clock in the morning. And I was like, this isn't, this isn't right. Something's wrong. And then he gets in my ear and he goes, David, you've got to be very careful. Things are really going wrong. And it was extraordinary. Wow. And that was the night it all went horribly wrong. And the following day, I was section. and spent five days

on a mental ward being given three times the legal dose of tranquil life, of sedatives. And here's the other thing. You know, you've got a big black man on your psych ward, you're terrified of him,

what do you do? You knock him the fuck out. So I was given, and this is, I've only found this 30 years later, and, and, you know, having given it to a psychotherapist to cast their eye over. She said, well, the first thing I'm going to say is you were given three times the legal doses

of tranquilises. And I have no idea why. And I said, well, they were trying to knock you out, she said. They were just literally trying to get, put you out. You can imagine that. It could have killed you. Yeah.

And people die. The reason why, it's all in the documentary, but the reason why the loads of people were dying whilst being restrained by the police and lots of people do die being restrained while they're being medicated and being restrained while they're being arrested.

So they're trying to take the criminality out of your mental health experience. So there's a whole section in the documentary where I speak to, to this new, a new, a new, it's a new way of working in Birmingham where I'm from, which is where, rather than sending the police on mental health, if there's a mental health aspect, someone's running down the street naked, the guy's obviously clearly not well. So rather than calling the police, you will call a special unit,

which is made up of a mental health nurse, a social worker, a pediatrician, a policeman and so it's more holistic So rather than the cop are jumping out and bashing you over the head It might be the mental health nurse That gets out and tries to talk to you

Assess the situation, gets you and then they start working out What's the best way to treat this person Rather than putting him in fucking handcuffs Throwing him in a back of the police van And locking him in the police cell for four hours Which is what happened to me Wow

What was it that? sort of saved you in a way sort of what obviously they had to get you on a certain medication probably an antipsychotic or something or they what was it that just was it just a between therapy and getting you in the right meds and getting your head straight I mean how did that how did that all work I'm no idea you know I um um you know I mean I was basically given a bottle of tablets and you know the old gag keep taking the tablet I was released from my five days of institutionalised

sort of medication and just given a bottle of tablets and you know very quickly started spinning out of control again soon after that my mother was great my mother basically just

took me back to her place I went left London went back to my mum's place and she observed me like a hawk for about a month giving me half a tablet and giving me a quarter of a tablet

and giving me, you know, a little bit of a tablet slowly weaning me off these medication. And I'm lucky that, you know, I'm, I think there's 15% of people on 15% of psychotic patients who never need further medication

or never have further issues. And I guess I fall into that category because I've never really needed anything since since at last quarter of a tablet wow talk about intense and by the way the documentary again is my psychosis in me on the BBC correct psychosis in me psychosis in me I mean yeah you know did you for a while think that why did I why was I so open about this this is going to ruin my career did you have those thoughts in the beginning and then obviously I don't scared the night it went out.

I mean, I've watched it for a year because we shut it and then the BBC didn't want to put it out until the following year because they wanted to put it out in the whole season on mental health films. And when I first saw the trailer, I was fucking terrified. I suddenly panicked and I thought,

why did I? I never have done this. I didn't watch it. I was really scared. and the minute it finished I went to bed actually I went to bed early and the minute it finished just every device

every device in the house was pinging ringing buzzing bleeping and it was his emails and text from people who saw it who had seen it just like just blown away by it and blown away by what it was revealing because I meet other people

who were suffering from the psychosis you know I think we did more in an hour to reduce the stigma of psychosis than there has been in like 20 years. Yeah. Because some people were talking about it. And calls about psychosis to the mental health charity mind in England rose by 107% the next day.

So people were suddenly going, do you know what? I think I've got a problem. Do you know what? I think now I think my son's having a problem. Do you know what I think now I know what it is. Now I know, you know, I need to speak something about it. And now all the health officials in England are going, that fucking David Harewood.

We're overwhelmed now. What the fucking do? Don't show the documentary again. My God. So look, Supergirl, bad transition, however, it's a transition. Did you know anything about John Jones, Martian Manhunter, at all when you first got this? Because I don't even know anything really about him anyway. I mean, what did you do to prepare?

They said, you have an audition for this, or did you just get an offer for it? No, I got an offer to play I was originally just playing Hank Henshiel The guy who runs the DEO Right And I think Jeff Johns

And Andrew Kreuzberg Were watching The pilot Being shot one day And I think Jeff John said Fucking guy's great You know, he'd make a great martial

man off him And they looked at each other And they went Fucking do it So they just sort of They didn't tell me about it. They only told me after the pilot had finished. So once I was in England and shooting a job in Morocco

called the night manager. And they, my agent called me and said, yeah, they want to make you an offer on that supergirl, but they want to change your character. I was like, what? They said, yeah, they want to make you somebody else. And I was like, well, who's that? And I emailed the bosses,

and they were saying, well, it's very exciting, but we're not going to tell you until it's all, you know, all the, you know, process is dotts and dots and eye. you know, everything's signed off. And I flew to L.A. to shoot the pilot. And I think I got there two weeks earlier or something. And I phoned up and I said, guys, you know, I need to know who the fuck I'm playing. So can I come and meet you guys?

So I went in to meet Andrew. And he just gave me this pile of comics and said, you're going to be the Martian Manhunter. And you said, who? I'd never heard of it. I know. You know. But I read Marvel.

I read The Hulk Fantastic Four. I didn't read D.C. I wasn't a D.C. I never read anything. I think I was Lex Luthor. I never read one comic book. I didn't know.

I just said, fuck it. I'm going to, I get, I know where you're going to front. All over comics. So I, so I, so, but I didn't know the story. So I went home and read the Marshall Man Hunter. Fucking loved it. Loved it.

I just thought he was great, great character. So, um, yeah, it's been, it's been fun. It's been slightly. you know you know they can't quite afford he's one of the strongest most capable characters

in the DC camera but they just can't afford to do his powers so they you know it's like I'm playing him on a budget so I'm like it's been it's been really it's been like sometimes I get my butt kicks

I'm like how the fuck is this guy beat me up you know you know so Oftentimes, I've had to sort of, you know, just create, create a kind of whole new iteration of the character because it doesn't quite match, you know, with this sort of all-powerful, fantastically capable character that's in the comic books. You know, it's not my show.

I can't save the day. Right. So if Supergirls show, she has to save the day. So, so, a lot of the times I have to sort of, and I, I sussed it in the very first season. Just before the finale, I'll get taken out. You know, I'll get taken out by some radiation fucking beam from space that knocked me out that I can't save the day, you know, you know.

And it happens every, it happened in every finale. I was next to the end up before the finale, I'd get some sort of, some fucking alien stone placed around my neck which disabled me for the entire... What have you not done as that character that fans are like, well, he could do this. Why isn't he doing that? We can read minds.

He can teleport. I mean, there's a whole list of them out there on online. Right, right. He's an extremely capable character, but unfortunately, We just can't afford it. So it's, it's been like, it's been like playing them on a bit of a budget. Is it weird being in the final season of a show that when someone, I don't know if

anybody's ever said, this is your final season. No one's ever told me that. So you never know. But as an actor, is it harder to go in there and have something to really, you know, want to, you just suck it up and how does that work? I was quite, I'm quite, I'm ready, I'm ready to check out. I've got to be honest. I'm ready to, I'm ready to move on.

so it was quite a relief when they said it's the final season I was okay with that okay I'm okay with going home I'm okay with being around my family I took the job for a specific reason and those reasons have been that box has been tipped

you know it's it's I've got some some money in the bank which has been great cemented my you know my sort of position as you know as an actor

in the American sort of a world and you got more fans you got a shitload of fans now you got a shitload of fans that love Martian Man on her shitload of fans it's been great so you know so but I'm ready to I'm ready to move on it

it's like it's like doing Panto for like 17 years at some point you want to move on yeah and and and do another genre yeah all right this is called shit talking with David Harewood this is rapid fire. These are from fans on my Patreon, lovely Patreon, go to patreon.com slash inside it inside. Mary B, if there were really extraterrestrials, do you think they would be friendly or

hostile on Supergirl? You have a mix of both on Supergirl. I think there'd be a mix of both. Mikey, how was it to play Martian Manhunter opposite to Justice League voice veterans and one who voiced Martian Manhunter in the animated series? Awesome. Columbia. Love Lumley. I worked with them. Absolutely brilliant. And I love the bear of them. It was a real pleasure being on set. Taylor K. David, is there anything in your career that a producer or director wanted you to do that you weren't comfortable with? Not really, no. I try to, I try to throw myself in. Sophie M. Do you have a favorite guest star who has appeared on Supergirl? Columby. Wasn't he the best? I worked with him on Justice League, and we, I love him. I just had him

on the podcast. Amazing. He's a lovely man, a genuinely lovely man. I miss him. I agree. Connor W. I have a lot of respect for your charity work, including soccer aid. My question is, what was the episode in the Supergirl that made you most nervous going in? What made me most nervous? Did you have to get naked or something? I've never been naked.

There's no nudity in Supergirl. I would say, I would say, just some of the emotional stuff. Some of the emotional somebody talks about his family. That's something, you know, because that takes you to a dark place. It always takes you to, you know, you have to always have to pull on some pretty, emotional strings when you start talking about the, you know, the loss of his family. And sometimes they were, you know, they were tough to live. Augusti, what character did you view totally different as a child versus as an adult?

Hulk. You know, for me, it was always that. The Hulk was always smash! Smash, Hulk! And, you know, I loved it. It's a big green man. I loved it. But I guess as I've grown older, you know, and I love how marvel of,

You know, made him, made him more of a thinking, a thinking beast, as it were. I like that. That's my, it's a good change. Well, look, I really love how open you are. It's certainly going to touch a lot of people, and you've already touched a lot of people with your mental health. Ambassadorship. I'm going to make that word up.

You like that ambassadorship? I don't think it's a word. But you were awesome on Homeland, and you worked with my friend Morena Baccaron. Did you have scenes with her ever? Yes, I did. Yes, lots of scenes. She's great. She's fucking awesome.

Yeah. I mean, I wish I had more to do with her. But yeah, she's a great girl. Well, what's your handles so people can follow you? Just add David Harewood, all there, all one word. My name, David, D-A-V-I-D, H-A-R-E-W-O-D. Well, this has been a real treat. I really appreciate you being on here.

I hope you had fun. It wasn't bad, right? Oh, yeah, it's great. I mean, I loved your style. It's been fun. It has been fun. I hope you come back, and good luck, continue success with everything. Get your COVID test.

all my health and happiness to you, buddy. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. That was powerful. Yeah. I mean, you know, you try not to poke or try to, but I always want to go deep. Like, well, but why is that? Well, what did you?

You know, I'm always trying to figure out, like, how it happens. And he painted the picture pretty good, pretty well. Yeah. He's really been through it. He's been through it. And I think, I think when you're through it and you can address that you've been through it, I think it just makes you stronger. It really does.

They always say it what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I mean, to be so honest, too, I know a lot of people, if they had any kind of break, first of all, would never go get checked in, would never agree to anything. Or if they did, they would not let anyone ever know. They didn't feel shame. And I don't know how many times I've told you guys that the only way, I mean, we're going to ever really love ourselves. And love others, at least for me, is if you start to acknowledge who you really are and be honest to yourself and take care of yourself. So anyway, yeah, that hit me. That hit me pretty

strong. Remembering the concert, it is, our concert is this Saturday, May 29th. It's online. You can watch it. Please watch it. If you haven't watched us, Sunspin, two shows, 2 p.m., 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. There's prizes. There's Zooms. There's, you know, it's going to be a lot of fun. In fact, the top bidder gets an encore. We zoom them with an encore if they want with a couple of songs. Oh, nice. So it'll be nice.

And you can go to sunspin.com for all the information, book the band, book a Zoom with us, anything you want. We'll have fun. We always have fun. And if you want any inside of you, merch, go to inside of you online store. There's tons of great stuff. Let's give a discount code for today. how about Ryan's vaxed

15 how many X's Ryan's Vax no apostrophe 1X Ryan's Vaxed 15 for 15% off the inside of you online store like Luther Pictures and Smallville and inside of you mugs and shirts and a bunch of great stuff I have some fanny packs left I think I only have like three two maybe one or two fanny packs

so get them while they last autographed tumblers autograph hats whatever you want It's all there at the inside of you online store. And Ryan, again, if they want to subscribe to the show. You go to Apple Podcast, Spotify, or you go to YouTube.com slash inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum. You can go to Twitter at Inside of You Pod, Instagram at Inside of You podcast, and Facebook also at Inside of You podcast. That is correct. That is correct. My lovely patrons, my lovely patrons, I was reading a lot of great funny comments.

People always have their opinions, and I like their opinions. and they have like ideas and sometimes their ideas are really good for guests. I actually have gotten quite a few guests based on people's opinions or suggestions. Isn't that something? Ooh, that's helpful. Yeah, if you're a patron, I listen to you. I don't always listen to you. It's impossible to listen to all of you.

There's a lot of you. There's a lot of you. And I love you all. In fact, we're going to name you all right now. And then we're going to give it up for the big surprise. So here it is. These are the, all the patrons, bear with me. It's only a few minutes, but I love them all, and they contribute to the show.

If you want to join Patreon, patreon.com slash inside of you. Nancy D. Mary B. Leah, Leah, S. Tricia F. Sarah V. Little Lisa, Y. K. L. L. L. H. L. H. L. H. L. H. L. H. L. H. L. H. L. H. H. L. H. H. P. H. H. F. H. H. P. Kristen K. Amelia O. Allison L. Lucas M. Raj. See? Joshua D. Emily S. C.J.P. Samantha M. Jennifer N. Jackie P. Stacey L. Carly H. Carly S. J. Cajm. S. Jamal F. Jamal F. Jannel B. Cary B. Tabitha 273. Ashley E. Michael E. Marissa. N. L.on Supremo. 99 more. Ramira S. Santiago M. Sarah F. Chad. W. L.N. P.

Ray A. Maya P. Madie S. K. Kendrick F. Ashley F. F. Shannon. D. D. D. D. Matt. Matt. W, they're all right here. They're right here on the screen. You can see them and you hear them. Ashley E. Shannon D. Matt W. Belinda, N. Kevin V. James R. Chris H. Dave H. Samantha S. Spider-Man. Chase.

Sheila. G. Ray. A. Tabitha. T. Tom. N. Suzanne. B. Katie. F. How are you doing this? I'm remembering from last time. Lilliana.

S. A. Michelle K. Marcus. W. Hannah B. Michael S. Talia M. Luke H. Andrew C. T. T. Betsy. Ross. D. Not Betsy Ross. Okay. Claire M. She didn't do the flag. Liz J. Laura L. We're almost done here. Chad L. Rochelle E. Brandon E. Brandl D. Taylor K. Neal A. Marion. Meg K. Janelle P. Trav L. Dan N. Jennifer J. Wayne M. Dian R. Ojetta. Lorange G. Olga C. Corey M. C. Corey M. Carrie, A. Veronica K, Big Stevie W, Kendall T, Lindsay M, Carol D, Katie G, Sandy B, Angel M, Eric C, Rian, C, Stephen M, Corey K, Super Sam, Emily C, Sherry S, Coleman G, Michelle A, Riley, Jay, Liz L, and Jeremy C, those are the patrons, the wonderful patrons, and now, for the surprise you've all been waiting for this entire time, Ryan is Vaxed, we've been dying to do this, it's been a year, I'm Vaxed, and we're going to hug it out. Oh, God, it's good to see if I was good to hold him. Oh, it feels good. That felt good. That felt good.

I smell good. Thanks, man. It's Burberry Britt, Brit, I wear. Oh, yeah. That felt good. My old friend, Ryan, I got to hug him. Oh, thank God. We waited over a year for that.

That's your surprise. You're like, that's the surprise. Come here, Blanche. say hello to everybody come here oh my god come here come here no get over here come here right here you're a little good girl a little good girl right there people don't want to hear this uh i love you guys thank you so much for all the uh support and love and dedication to the show spread the word i know you do i see your tweets i see your messages you're so damn awesome so thank you thank you and thank you listeners if you're here for David Harewood

and hopefully you'll stick around for the next one from myself Michael Rosenbaum and myself Ryan Tears here in the Hollywood Hills Hollywood Hills California let's take a look up at the camera I give a wave of the camera up there hey guys we love you thank you for allowing to be

Ian let me thank you for allowing me to be inside of each and every one of you until next time promise me you'll be good to yourself be grateful Um, life's good, man. We're here. Let's try to make the most of it.

That's my dog. You agree. Blanche, she agrees. All right, Blanche. Now beat it. All right. Love you guys. Thanks.

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