Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - Supernatural’s Sebastian Roché: Broke on a Boat, Rejection, & Divorce

Episode Date: June 1, 2021

From growing up on a sailboat to becoming Balthazar in Supernatural, Sebastian Roché joins the show this week to share all in his journey through mental health in this industry. Sebastian discusses his early childhood surrounding life on a boat and his tumultuous relationship with his father. We talk about prior relationships, how love and connections ultimately make you a better human being, and discovering what’s right for you as you grow older. We close as Sebastian reminisces about his time working with the legendary Al Pacino, auditioning for The Hobbit, and his favorite memory of working on Supernatural. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Adventurist U owns the road with super all-wheel control. Regular side? Alone time. Adventurous side journeys together with third row seating. The new outlander bring out your adventurous side. Mitsubishi Motors drive your ambition. you are listening to inside of you with michael rosenbaum or baum i hope you're having a wonderful week whether you're listening days later or you're listening right now or watching hi thank you for

watching you right there i appreciate it i appreciate all the love and the subscribing to the podcast if you're here for sebastian roche then i hope you will stick around for weeks to come and subscribe to the podcast and you can subscribe to the podcast Ryan on Spotify Citra Premium

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Podcast.com? Hello at inside of you.com. Uh, hello at inside of you podcast.com. I was right. Yeah. Yeah, that's correct. So you could write a review and write a review actually on, you know, on, um, Apple. That'd be nice.

Yeah. I'd review there and give us a five star, if you will. Uh, but last week, David Hare would really let, let it go. He talked about mental health and how he went away to a mental hospital. And God love him, man. Thank you for, uh, being so upfront, honest. Um, it was really a, uh, a powerful. episode if you haven't heard of David Harwood from Supergirls done a Martian Manhunter he's done a

bunch of stuff but he was a Martian Manhunter on Supergirl and um i urge you listen to that also uh the Jason Patrick Kiefer Sutheran episode charisma carpenter we got great ones coming up um also if you want any inside of you merchandise um or Lex luther lunch boxes t-shirts hats tons of stuff on inside of you inside of you online store that is and And the number, the code today for 15% off is, give me something. Ryan's waxed 15. Ryan's waxed 15.

That's Ryan's no apostrophe wax, Wax, W-A-X-E-D. Ryan's waxed 15. Because last week was Ryan's vaxed 15. Ryan's Vaxed 15. Ryan's waxed 15 this week. We're getting creative, folks. thank you for coming to my stage it and supporting the band sunspin every last Saturday of the month we play two shows 2 p.m. 6 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. We have prizes, zooms, all that. We really appreciate

it. It was a great turnout. So thank you. It was our one year anniversary of playing shows. We'll have one at the end of next month on a Saturday, last Saturday of every month. And if you want to book the band or you want to Zoom with the band or you want merch from Sunspin, just go to sunspin.com. And you can get everything there. It's a lot of fun. And we book Zooms with people throughout the week. And it's pretty fun. Today's guest is someone that, well, I know I've met him at conventions. Very personable guy, funny, talented.

And boy, this story blew Ryan away. Ryan thought this was like the best episode in a long time. And this guy, talk about, I can barely have fucking dinner with my family. for an hour imagine living on a boat living on a boat with your mother and your family for not a week or a month but a long time it gets pretty pretty dicey it's a great story Sebastian Roche let's get inside of Sebastian Roche it's my point of you you're listening to inside of you with Michael Inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum was not recorded in front of a live studio audience. Thank you for allowing me to be inside of you today.

Sebastian Roche, we met in England somewhere, Wales, in Wales, in Wales, near Wrexham. Yeah. Rexum. It was a pleasure, actually, to meet you, because I'd heard about you for so many years, you know, through other people who knew you. I can't remember who, but, you know, they always spoke. No, no, no, no, but they always spoke, you know, wonderfully about you. And I have to admit, I was pleasantly, I was, you know, really happy to meet you because you're not only super funny, you know, but also, you know, one quality I thought with you

is you're incredibly caring. I always remember when, um, pants, Joey pants was out of the bus. Do you remember when Joey, you were like, you were like, we've got to do something. Wait, where is it? So we'll set it up for the listeners, so it's not just an insight. No, no, but we're on a bus and we're doing a convention and we all have to get on a bus to so they could take us to do signing and meet and greet. And so there, I set it up.

So go ahead. What is Joey Pants from, you know, guys from Goonies from Everything Matrix? What was he doing? Joey Pants was like, on the bus. And then he thought it was taking too long to get there because it was a huge, it was quite a bit of traffic jam. you know, because a lot of people go to... Do you remember? We were on the bus.

Yeah, I got to remember. And then Joey Pats was like, you know what? I got to get off. I got to get away. He's like, what the fuck? What are we doing here? I'm getting the fuck off this bus.

I can walk faster and this big fucking piece of shit. And he gets off the bus and he's going and I'm videotaping. I have this video of him walking and walking and walking. And I put funny music over it. It's just Joey Pants walking. And he didn't know actually where he was going.

I think. But he kind of, he was like, there's this big thing. I'm going to go to him. But it was just, he never does this in a, he's such a nice man. He really is. He loved him, loved him, loved him. He has this extraordinary personality, total New York, but you can't not love him, you know? Yeah, he's sweet.

He's like, yeah, yeah, we're doing this. I mean, my daughter, we went through Ireland and, yeah, I don't know. I'm more doing him. I'm going to do it. I'm not even doing it. Yeah, but he's such a young. and then I saw his age he's nearly nearly 70 right and that's like I want to have that much energy can we swear on your oh I have been and I usually don't swear a ton but some people my listeners the patrons are probably going Rosenbaum's been swearing today he's on fire yeah you could swear you could swear yeah your podcast is great and you know I noticed how much you you always care about people and I think that's a it's a quality that I always you know admire in people you know so that's one of the things I really, I was really touched to see someone who, because everywhere we went, you were really

caring about people. And it's something I noticed about you, you know, instantly. Well, that's, I just, that hasn't always been. I just started caring about people, but about the time I saw you. I was, exactly. You were a total asshole. Yeah. Well, you know, I think you could, you could tell me your story, but I don't look, we're obviously not perfect. And we make mistakes. And through life, we try to strive to get to a certain age where we're like, okay. I love myself. I'm happy with myself. I really, I was, I'm better as a person. I've grown. And there's certainly times in your life where you, I'm sure you've been an asshole. I've been an asshole. We've been assholes. And we look back and we're like, you know, immaturity, not,

you had no self-awareness. Was there a time in your life where you feel like you had a little bit of that? Oh my God. I think when I was younger, you know, I don't know if I told you, but I lived, you know, on a boat for six years from the age of 12 to 18. with your mom and your brother was it with my mom and dad my brothers you know we were pretty much went halfway around the world because we didn't go into the pacific but we were on a sailing boat you know how big is this boat paint the picture how big is this boat is 44 feet which is you know for people who know the metric system is like 13 meters 50 it's not that big um and we're not talking about you know we didn't go on a weekend sailor all right vacation this is

hardcore sailing on a boat that is, you know, has all the basics that doesn't have much electronics. You know, we didn't even have hot water. We, you know, it was hand pumps to get water, foot pumps, actually. So we're on a boat that was designed for the Caribbean and we started, of course, in the middle of winter.

You know, my dad was like, oh, I hadn't. I hadn't. So we, yeah, we sailed on this boat and it was, you know, very exciting, but very, very difficult. at the same time because we were, you know, within, I think, less than a year, we were totally, we were totally broke. But you know what? It was actually one of the great things of being on the boat. We learned so much about life. You know, I was living a very sort of middle, upper middle class. My dad was kind of a CEO. We were living in the outskirts of Paris because I am

half French, half British. And then we, my dad was like, I never see my kid. I never see my kid. So we're going to go. We'd sailed a lot as children. My dad was a big sailor. And he was like, that's it. Selling the house, quitting my job, and we're off. So that's basically the premise. And, you know, we sailed, you know, the whole, this was 1977.

And how long, yeah, 1977. The dead of winter, you're starting. Your dad has what sounds like a midlife crisis or he just really wants to find himself and have his family understand the real. world, and you go on a, not a cruise, a sailboat, 44-foot sailboat for how long, and how long are you guys on at any given time, the longest stretch where you're on the sailboat without land? The longest stretch was we sailed from Madeira, which is north of the Canary Islands, which is off the coast of West Africa, and we sailed from Madeira to across the Atlantic for 21 days to Barbados.

so that was three weeks at sea without seeing and you don't get sick does anybody get sick in the beginning and then get over does the drama mean in 77 yeah yeah it's really interesting how the body works at first you are you know we we were in I remember everyone got sick when we hit we were in southern Ireland

and we went from southern Ireland you know south and we hit a really big storm really big storm scary storm and you know where you're like at the helm and you hear at night and you hear the huge waves you're coming down and you're like, I'm terrified. But the boat was a very safe boat. And yeah, we were sick for 48 hours, completely sick,

and then switched off, and I was never, ever again sick on a sailing boat. Wow. How the body mechanics get used to the rolling of the boats, you know, the movement. So you're saying that, I get altitude sickness pretty quickly. So if I stayed in somewhere where the elevation was high for a substantial period of time, my body would acclimate. Yeah, it would acclimate if you stay.

What you have to do is, you know, because I did quite a lot of mountain climbing. You have to go up to a certain. Yeah, I mean, you can, you know, I used to do when I went to the Sierra's, I would do a quick summit. So I wouldn't get, I would get altitude sickness, but then would go up, summit come down. But if you want to do a big summit, yeah, you have to go to a base camp. at let's say, I'd say 10,000 feet or little above 10,000 feet, 11,000 is when you start really feeling the effects, depending on the person, actually. And yeah, I would say acclimatize one or two days.

If it's a much bigger mountain, a week, the two weeks, you know, when we're talking about Himalaya scale, which I've never done, which I would love to do, but I'm too old now, I think. I'm too old. I've done, you know, big, big ones in South America. But, yeah, so you need a few days, even a day or two if you're doing, you know, some mountains in the Sierras, which are, you know, 14,000 plus in the Sierra Nevada's, like, of course, Whitney, Middle Palisade, the Palisades. There's many, there's 20 peaks above 14,000. And, yeah, it's nice to get to your first camp. Right.

Sebastian. Sebastian. I get nauseous and lightheaded when I go to Big Bear. Do you know Big Bear? It's a two-hour drive from L.A. And I'm like, I don't feel right. I don't feel right. Something's off.

I'm like, can I possibly have altitude sickness? I mean, we're practically just north of L.A. I mean, the elevation's like... That's normal. But you would acclimatize because, you know, even if you go at the base of Baldi, you know, which at Baldi's 10,000 feet. You know, Mount Baldi is a common tree. trek. If you go at the base, it's 6,500, and you do start feeling, you know, of course,

if you, you know, you're, it seems like you're more susceptible to altitude sickness, but if you stay there a day, you'd be fine, I think. You'd feel nauseous at first. You might have diarrhea. It's not really pleasant. Well, the diarrhea, I welcome. I welcome that. That's not a problem for me. Let me ask you, what do you do, by the way, on a boat for 21 days? What do you do with your, where you have a sister and your mom and dad? dad no sisters two brothers two brothers boys mom and dad what do you do for 21 days in a sailboat together i mean you can only fish so much i mean there's a bathroom underneath so you went to the bathroom there yeah yeah so you have a what they call the head the head called the head

and yeah and it's a pump pump action so you pump your duty right into the ocean right oh yeah you do yeah in those days you did because now people have holding tanks right that you empty which is not very pleasant, especially when the holding tank starts leaking. You want to have a good holding tank. Yeah. But, you know, you really, it's funny, there's so much to do on the boats where you wake up. Most of the time, actually, we'd get flying fish on the deck,

so we'd collect the flying fish, you know, have them for breakfast. Then, you know, I would, I really personally would love to be on the Bowsprit, which is the front of the boat. and sit there, you know, with the sails and just look at the ocean. Because anything becomes interesting when you're in the middle of the ocean. So suddenly you'll see, you know, seaweed or you'll see a jellyfish. Everything becomes a moment of excitement. And, you know, I would draw whatever I saw because I was really into drawing.

You read a lot and you fish, you know, we'd get a, you know what they called deradas there which is mahi mahi right we'd get nearly one a day we couldn't actually we did once we had too many we'd throw the so you had a lot a lot of mercury in your bodies for this

yeah right there was a bit less then you're right yeah yeah yeah yeah a lot of mercury you're right probably did you see sharks which yes yeah I saw a lot of sharks I mean I was once we got to the Caribbean I was terrified

of everything as a kid and then the boat kind of changed everything for me it's it's it's it was really the most formative experience for me because I was not very good at school super insecure shy guy not really good I was really good at sports but but but but um quite fearful and uh you know I I discovered my you know quote unquote myself on the boat you know I developed a passion for spear fishing so I would go and shell collecting so I would go every morning you know and I would go get whatever fish they wanted or lobster and I became really good at it I started you know free diving when I was I think 13 14 and I could go I could go to 90 feet you know when once I got really good at it I could stay quite a long

time underwater and I saw of course when you go spear fishing you will sea sharks, you know. But in those days, in the Caribbean, I don't know what it's like now because it's a... Sharks just weren't interested back in the day. They were well fed. They were like, oh, it's a different time

now. Then they learned how stupid humans were and they were like, let's get. Oh, could you imagine? That's amazing. It was just, oh, yeah, sharks were so nice. Yeah, fascinating to see a shark when you're under, when you're underwater, it's fascinating. I always remember there was a shark

My dad was facing me, and there's this lemon shark that comes behind my dad. And I'm like, mm-hmm, because, you know, you got the tuba, the snorkel. How big is a lemon shark real quick? You know, you're thinking small. It can go from anything from, you know, from three to, I guess, eight feet. Oh, God. Okay, so you're, mm-hmm, mm-mm, dad. Yeah, so I'm like, mm-mm, but the lemon shark couldn't kill us.

He was just swimming. You know, when your spear fishing is different, we were just, we were just swimming, snorkeling at the time. When you're spearfishing, you spear the fish, then you put them on a floater and you, in a sort of wire, and you put them on the floater. So they smell the blood and they can get a little excited. So you have to show them that you have a gun, a spear gun, and move them away sometimes. But, you know, and then when people would visit us on the boat from Paris, you know, I remember taking one of my friends who was such a scared cat.

We'd go to nurse sharks, which are basking sharks. they sit on the on the bottom right and we prod them just to escape we get them above it a nurse shop prod the nurse shop and the nurse shop would just you know run away but we try and scare friends doing these kind of stupid things you know it sounds to me like your parents turned you into a man by being on a sailboat I bet that had a lot to do with how you grew up and becoming a man because I don't remember my dad teach me anything like he didn't teach me how to change the oil in the car he didn't cheat me you know he just says mow the lawn you know and that he didn't even have a freaking get a grass catcher so all that dog shit and rocks would fly in my face so i know those yeah so he was

always working so he didn't have time that you know he wasn't a head of a CEO you know head of a company CEO and be able to buy a big sailboat and go out but like i think did you not learn a lot which helped kind of create the man you are now yeah but i mean i learned that on the boat because before that my i never saw my dad never saw my dad wow you were was working for an American company because young and Rubicon, you know, and I never saw him. So that's why I think on the boat, by forces of circumstance, you know, being on the boat, you learn to, yeah, to sail. And sailing is very arduous. It's not easy.

It's tough. You know, you can be in really tough conditions. And you have to learn very quickly how to steer a boat, how to, you know, hoist the sail. trails, drop anchor, and you get into, you know, sticky situations when you're in high seas, you know, and stormy seas. Yeah, yeah, it's a tough environment, but you learn very, very fast. And yeah, thanks to my dad's decision, I learned to be much more self-reliant or just... Yes, that's one thing I really learned.

I was super self-reliant, super agile. I could adapt to any situation suddenly, whereas I never felt that in my sort of quote, unquote, civilian life, you know, when I was going to school and I didn't really, I felt I fit in because I was, you know, I wanted to be an actor, so I guess I was the clown that class clown, but it was really the boat that, yeah, the trip on the boat and discovering new cultures that turn me, you're right, into the man I am today, yeah, it was a very, very formative. important experience for me especially. I love that. Do you feel like you're like you hinted about it? You sort of said in a way that you didn't really have a relationship with your father at first and then he

has this life change, this idea and you go in the boat. Was it like did you sort of resent your father for a while? He's not around. He's not there. And then all of a sudden you get on a boat and it was a little tumultuous at first and then it became this relationship. It sounds like a movie. But like was it... You know, that's a really interesting question

because it's funny because it's kind of the opposite. It's the opposite and the same. Before, when I never saw him, I idolized the image of my father, you know, because he's never there. So you always see this, you know, and in those days growing up in France,

you know, fathers were much more severe and earnest. And, you know, he was the man of discipline, you know, and not abusive at all, but, you know, he was much more stern, I had a much stoner image of him. And then when we went on the boat, then you're confronted with being with your parents in a small space for 24-7.

So I admired him and resented him at the same time because I saw there was nothing hidden anymore. You know, when my dad woke up in our house and put on his beautiful suits and everything, I was like, wow, look at my dad. And then you are confronted with the absolute reality of literally being in the next. cabin as your dad on a boat that is 44 feet long.

So there was a mixture of, you know, you're growing up as a teenager of resentment and admiration at the same time. That's crazy. And it's only later that I realized how extraordinarily brave it was for him to do what he did. And he kind of did it for us, for himself, of course. It was his dream, but he did it for us. And I also admire my mother's resilience who was not really.

a sailor not but she was she's incredibly giving and and and tough in the sense that she she can withstand anything not tough as a person she's incredibly giving and positive so you see all these things combined and i think i learned the most because my older brother you know didn't get along with my dad left the boat at 17 and went to do his military he left the boat so how long was this whole trip on the boat and how long did your brother last before he said I'm done well he he lasted for nearly six years so within two years my older brother was like I'm out of here I can't can't stand being with you I'm gone nothing against him he was just going through his his stage yes he went and you know

we were in Martinique it was kind of our base you know because my dad could find a job because we were broke, so he became a tour guide. I was a windsurfing instructor. You know, I was like 13, 14 teaching windsurfing. My mom was repairing sales. And, you know, we'd get like 30 francs, which is what, six bucks. And we'd buy, go buy Camembert and a baguette. And my mom, I remember, would make a cucumber salad and avocados.

Because, you know, the food is plentiful there. Wow. So my brother left quite early. And my younger brother, you know, couldn't deal with homeschooling, so he was sent to boarding school. So for around nearly three years, it was me and my parents on the boat. Wow. I think I'm the one who adapted the best.

Yeah, I don't know why. Wait a minute. So your dad, when he decided to do this, he was the head of a CEO. He was making great money, and he left all that. He was making good money. I don't think he was making great money. I mean, you know, we were very comfortable. Yeah, yeah.

We had a beautiful house. But, you know, it was at the time, It was France. It was not... Yeah, I mean, it was good money, but it was, you know... Yeah. But then you went to broke. Well, yeah, because then basically he put everything in the boat,

and he kind of miscalculated, so you spent a lot money on the boat. And then, yeah, we kind of went broke. You know, living on a boat, buying a boat from scratch is very expensive. And so, yeah, we went broke very quickly. But it was actually the best thing that happened to us. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money, period. It's Rocket Money.

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I think if I would have learned these skills as a child and, you know, hands on and just nature and life. And then I would be more, what's the word, adept, more? Yeah, I guess so. But you are, you're extremely, on the other hand, you know, there are things that I find brilliant about you. You're much more adept. You know, you're very quick. You're very smart.

I'm not saying I'm not smart. But what I'm saying is, no, what I'm saying is, you know, you are smart. You, you are smart. And you're really funny. You know, you're super quick. And I really, I appreciate that very much. That's something, and I, and I'm a, I love having a good laugh. and I love a great sense of humor.

You know, the one thing, I became very adept and adaptable, but there was a lot that I lost being among my peers. So when I, at 18, I did my final year. I went back to France. I did it in France because, you know, it was easier. It was really hard for me to adapt to city life, to also being amongst people. and the pressures of, you know, cliques and clicks or whatever.

Yeah. So I basically was always first degree, you know, for me, I didn't understand irony and sarcasm, and I went back to Paris of all places, you can imagine. So that was, I had to readjust that. I was very good at, you know, taking care of myself, but city life was kind of foreign to me. So, you know, there are advantages, but, you know, at the same time,

you know, when you live a social life within, within your school, within your city, you learn other great skills, you know, that I still, I guess, don't have, I think. I think it's, I bet it's a turn on not only to me, but to like, when you meet women and you're like, you know, tell me about yourself. It's like, well, I was on a sailboat for six years. Oh, my God, you're beautiful. That sounds so rude. when I had, you know, reconciled the two be, you know,

but I was incredibly innocent at 18. I was like literally like, I felt I was like, you know, something out of Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Emil, you know, it's this novel about this kid who's only lived in nature and is completely innocent. I really felt like that. I was so innocent. And I think it attracted certain type of woman.

But, yeah, it was very interesting. It was difficult when I went to drama school where there is a lot of in, not fighting, but a lot of, how shall I put it? Just competition. So much competition and very insidious competition. So that was very difficult for me going to these schools because I went to two, three different. Actually, the first one was, you know, to get into the big schools. yeah and you know in those days you know to answer your question from quite a bit ago yes i had difficulty in controlling my emotions i was very much as i say first degree i was a bit you know

all over the place excitable had a very quick temper you know typically that the french blood in me took over the sort of a phlegmatic british that probably helps with acting though being able to be like, would you shut the fuck up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, do like a, Hey, do Al Pacino, you know, when he's like,

I'm going to tear out. Like he has no teeth. Exactly. Hey, you want to die? You're going to die big time. That's pretty good. Well, that was my first gig, you know. First gig in the States.

When I moved to New York, was doing a play with Al. What play did you do with him? I didn't do my research. Salomey by Oscar. Wild. I played John the Baptist, Yocanan, and he was Herod. And for me, for a kid from France, you know, who idolized De Niro, Pacino, who were, you know, seen as gods, all of us. To do that in, I mean, that was not my first gig. It was my first theater gig in New York. That was

extraordinary. I was, I learned so much from him. And did he ever say anything to you? Like, hey, nice job, it was great, man. Yeah, yeah, he was really, he was lovely. He was really a really nice man. Wow. Very so, you know, I've never seen, I've rarely seen someone so imbued with the passion of theater and acting. He literally lives it, breathes it.

And this is 77. This is like the height of his like, what, not the hype, but like, no, no, no. This was in 93, 93. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I was thinking. Because I was quoting Carlito's Way. That's why I brought it, I called Alan. Because you want to die big time was Carito's Way.

That's when Carlyto's Way came out. Carlito's Way is one of my favorite Puccino movies. I have a tattoo that says Blanco. And it's my, well, my grandmother, my grandmother lives in Florida. Her name is Blanche. She's from the Bronx. But do you remember when he goes, Hey, Carlito, remember me, Benny Blanco from the Bronx?

I always would say, hey, Benny Blanco from the Bronx. Where's my bagel and cream cheese? Yeah. And so there was a whole thing like that. But Carlyto's Way was one of my favorite Pacino movies. Amazing performance by him. and Vigo Mortensen. Oh, yeah.

Sean Penn. Do you remember Sean Penn? Oh, yeah. The lawyer or something. Legrizama was Benny Blanco, right? He was Benny Blanco. Yeah. Hey, Carlito, remember me?

Benny Blanco from the Bronx? Yeah. Yeah, he's the one who kills him. Yeah. Yeah. Great movie. Beautiful. Typical Brian de Palma, but beautiful.

Yeah. Beautiful movie. But working with Pacino, man. I worked with, yeah. But to work with Pacino would be just like a dream. Any of those. I don't know if I could do it. I'd be like, I mean, I would,

do it but like i think the first couple of days would be like i'm talking to pachino what's my line what's my line that's how it was i was i was like because you know yokanan is is in a prison and he's screaming at pachino you know you're a heathen you're uh you know he's like in this crazy state of you know being john the baptist and he's a sinner you know her as a sinner i would just watch out because he i've never seen someone more loose on stage you know he he he would do anything, he would try anything I would see him like literally do roll on the floor while doing his lines

he'd done it before of course he he did many incarnations of Salome but it was just fascinating to see him his work with the prose with the word is extraordinary you know his relationship to

objects taught me so much he would say this because he would do it like he said, I'm going to do it like Upper West Side Jewish lady. This pen that I have here

he would do these modulations and it would be so amazing to watch. He had these huge monologues where they were fascinating because you never got bored because he would literally have this he would be this this Ruby, this Ruby.

And then he would and I don't know if you remember he had this crazy, yeah, he He was like an over-made-up woman from the Upper West Side. Wow, that's incredible. Did you ever see him, though? Did you ever see him like, well, I wouldn't say the word fail, but like while he's on set or on stage and he's working things out

and this doesn't work and he's frustrated. Did you see those things? Yeah, looking for Richard. You mean the documentary? Or I saw him. I mean in real life. Like, did you? Oh, he, in a way, you know, it's really interesting.

He reminds me of that saying by Mandela, you know, I never lose, either I win or I learn, which I love, which is one of my favorite sayings by Nelson Mandela, because you never see him get mad. He's always in relaxation. Every time I see Al Pacino, you know, maybe younger he was more tense, you know, but it's this inner tension. You know, when you see him in Dog Day afternoon,

it's like watching a ballet. It's this incredible relaxation that, enables him to access something that, where he never fails. So he'll try. He'll be like, I remember him being on his all fours with hands up in the air. Like, I have a ruby. And, you know, he would just try shit. And that's the key.

Just keep trying. Keep working things out. And his approach to the word. I remember auditioning for then to do Macucio. And I suddenly was like, you know, she is the fairies. And I started. kind of doing Al with an English accent. She is, and I suddenly approached the text like he did,

and I felt, I just felt like it, it, it, it, it. freed you? I felt, yeah, I felt in such a great space because I realized, oh my God, he, yeah, he is, he has this relationship to the word, and I got it instantly. And it was thanks to him. It was really all, I became a much better actor, instantly after performing, after doing that play.

It was fabulous. Oh, I love that. He was wonderful. He came, then I did a play with Julie Tamal, and he came, and he was like, Sebastian, that was great. You know, but he was, they were going to do something. And then I got, I got him to meet Julie. And then we did a reading of Titus Andronicus where it was Julie,

directing. Al as Titus. I was playing Demetrius. And then he brought in Kevin Spacey as Saturninus, you know. And it was one of the greatest readings I've ever. It was just extraordinary. How many people were in the room? I think it was just the cast and Al.

And Al always had his bodyguard with him. What was his name? Tony or somebody? This big guy who was really cool. Such a nice guy. Who looked like he could have worked in a in a in a real insurance office he was bald with a mustache kind of heavy set but it was amazing walking down the street when we walked from the rehearsal space to another space he'd we'd walk down the street and he was like walking with the with QE2 you know it was like

walking with royalty it was extraordinary hey how do you deal with rejection because obviously everybody especially in our industry that's what you do we were rejected 99 times out of a hundred. So have you always have you had a problem with it? Is there times where it really affects you for a long time after your Yeah, I think like a lot of us, I think when you know, rejection

is an extraordinary thing actually. We deal I think I always keep I always say that actors are kind of super humans because they deal with rejection on such an extraordinary level. They basically are always on

employed and always looking for a new job, always deal with a rejection. Then they get a job, of course. Therefore, our superhumans, in this pandemic, I think we adapted much better. But for me, personally, yeah, rejection is very, very difficult. And you think as you get older, it's going to get better. And it's not. When you care about a project is when the rejection is the worst. And the closer you get to the project,

it gets very difficult. Yeah, I remember auditioning for The Hobbit. And I auditioned when Guillermo del Toro was the director auditioned in London. They loved me. Then they brought me back. And then it switched. And then I, you know, I thought I was really close. And then I met with, you know, Peter Jackson, Philippa Boynes, Fran Walsh.

And of course, the day, I was shut up. you know, super nervous, wanting to audition for that role. And I thought I was, you know, I could taste it. You know what it's like when you can taste it. Yeah. And you're like, I'm going to be filming for two years in New Zealand with Peter Jackson, you know, on the heels of Lord of the Rings. And I go up to the room and I don't see Peter Jackson because he's sick in a bedroom.

So I'm auditioning just with Fran Boynes and Philippe, no, Philippa Boynes and Fran Walsh. and it's not the same because of course you want to have the energy the uh the that there's almost that that fear and that excitement that blend to a perfect like you know yeah and i was so hoping i was i had pictured you know you know him working with me and nothing against uh philippa boynes and fran mulch they're both brilliant but it was just not the same and i know i did a good job because i and uh and you know it didn't work out because physically i saw the guy that they cast and it was totally, I know him and it was absolutely evidence that he should get the part, but it hurt, man. And I learned, I heard about it through a friend of my actor

friend who said, oh my God, he just got the greatest gig. He got this role in The Hobbit. And I was like, that's the role I was up for. And I literally, we were having dinner and I just couldn't have dinner anymore. And I was like, you know what, guys? I think I was, yeah i went to bed and it took me like a few days yeah well it's hard rejection's hard yeah it is it is hard but uh what about you what about you i'm weird i am able to as insecure and as i could tell you my flaws all day if you listen to five episodes in this podcast you'd like holy shit you're fuck bud but that's what's great but yeah it is great at same time i apologize for eating no you could eat but you know uh for me when i leave an audition i

I rip up the sides, the pages, and I throw them away immediately, and I'm done. I do that too. I'm done, and I don't ask any more questions. Oh, really? I don't. And then all of a sudden, sometimes you'll hear my agent will go, hey, I want to let you know that you're in the running for this role that you auditioned for three weeks. And I go, don't tell me that.

Just tell me when I get it. Exactly. So I don't want to know. So I let it go. I do let it go. But I also, I think I'm my worst enemy. And I also think that I could be incredibly lazy. I don't like to, unless it's something I really love.

like i don't put the work in like i should and that's just sort of in my head i just like you yeah you know i'll give them what i you know i'm not going to give them everything because i think if i give them everything that takes away a piece of me and that's really it's a bizarre way and it's like well how well good luck being an actor but at the same time i'm like you know i'm going to do a good job and if you see that i'm the part and uh you know there's every once in a while i'll go above and beyond like oh really don't you think 99% of it time, you walk in the room and they're like, this is the guy, even before you open your mouth. Then that's why I stopped doing that. I think I, I walk in and I, you know, if they're like,

oh, then they'll, you know, they'll work with me and then we'll figure it out. But, uh, I, I, sometimes when I don't care, when I'm like, always, it's not true because I got this part. I worked, I worked on it. Yeah. But you know what? You know when a part instantly suits you. And you basically have to do hardly any work. Yeah. Those are rare, but they're nice. And then you walk in and you know, I remember walking and there was this whole room of actors who were really, you know, established. And it's tough sometimes. You see all these near stars and, but I, you know, sometimes when you, when you own it, you own it.

Yeah. There are days when you own it. Yeah. That's true. Ever wonder how dark the world can really get? Well, we dive into the twisted, the terrifying and the true stories behind the. some of the world's most chilling crimes. Hi, I'm Ben.

And I'm Nicole. Together we host Wicked and Grim, a true crime podcast that unpacks real-life horrors, one case at a time. With deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink to take the edge off, we're here to explore the Wicked and Reveal the Grim. We are Wicked and Grim. Follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform. Also, and we don't have to talk about it, you can tell me to fuck off, but I know, look,

we talked about it briefly while we were in Wales. And I know, like, you got divorced, obviously. Now you found the one and you guys are doing great. But I remember you saying, because I was shocked, I was like Vera Fermiga. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember going, what? You were married to Vera Fermiga.

She's one of my, oh, my, and I'm like, he doesn't want to hear this. What do you do? No, no, it's fine, actually. You know, tremendous actress. You know, we met at the, you know, at her beginnings. and, you know, when I was doing this extraordinary series called Roar, Roar, not really great series to promote Roar for Fox, you know,

in which the cast of Roar, Heath Ledger, Kerry Russell, Vera, myself, and some other people. So, no, no, it's fun, I couldn't talk about it. You know, I've now found someone who's extraordinary, my wife now, but, you know, we were young, you know these things happen and yeah you know and and you move on i mean it's got to be the worst though i always think you know the reason i'm not married a lot of people go why aren't you married

you're 48 dude i'm like well have you met my family i'm like you know i love my family but i look around me and if there's dysfunction and then there's divorce and there's a i'm like i'm not doing that unless i know it's right so uh you know it sounds like you obviously came from a good family and you had this bonding experience for years and years and when you were getting married it felt like i mean i read that you you uh you guys uh eloped and went uh yeah and just to the bahamas and then we actually yeah and honeymoon in cuba but you know yeah it was it was it was it was it was difficult you know i had my issues you know she had her issues uh it's yeah it's you know the competition enters uh uh the marriage a bit always um it's difficult it's it was a very

divorce is probably one of the most difficult experiences I went through, yeah, in my life. Absolutely. It's extremely difficult. See, that's why I don't know if I want to do that. Yeah, yeah, no, I understand, but I think, you know, as you get older, you actually gain more experience and you know, you suddenly, you know, you don't always know when you're younger what's right for you. You know, and I think as you get older, you realize

you know you get rid of the things you don't want and you keep the things you want you know and that's what getting old is you start caring less about the bullshit and you start caring more about what's important and you'll when you meet that person who is completely in tune with you is you know incredibly supportive

smart funny intelligent there are people out there have to have all of those that seems like it's asking a lot. And smart, beautiful, educate. I mean, you know, they're just like, you know, it's like, I'm not all those things. So why should I? Well, no, yeah, you are. Of course you are.

It's, you know, my wife, Ali, Alicia, has taught me so much, literally more than anyone else in my life about relationships. She really is so extraordinarily, I mean, she has such an extraordinary sense of self and confidence. And I think that was given to her by her parents and her upbringing in Australia. And so she taught me so much about, you know, listening because that's something I was not very good at about compromise. you know it's very difficult to be in a relationship it is you know however much you love you know we love each other like crazy we're literally joined the hip and actually this a pandemic has made us way closer awesome we're crazy i'm crazy about her i really am it but in in in the deepest possible way she's my she's my she's my girl you know your anchor emotional it makes me it makes me it makes me

really emotional because we're joined at the hip and nothing could break that and you know and this pandemic has made it stronger and I learned so much from her and you know I she must have learned something from me but I learned so much and I made

so many mistakes when I was younger and that is what life is you know some people are like I don't want to age what age brings is that doesn't it it brings that wonderful level of experience where you feel more secure by yourself and you start carrying

less about what's bullshit you know i keep thinking about that i keep thinking that i'm slowly i see that happening with me that i'm starting to just be a little more at times i see it like okay this is good this is new you i know this is a it's a nuance don't don't get cocky it's just a little thing here but you know you're kind of a little bit more relaxed with this situation you're not freaking out you're not and my uh one of my therapists said something he goes you know michael i love this little guy he was like dr kessler tesler tesler i loved him so much i forgot his fucking name but as he said he said michael when i really believe if you fall in love with someone and you allow them to love you yeah it's going to be very tough when you could really really

around. I think you're going to sore. I think you're going to really. And I go, I didn't understand that. And do you feel like when you have, what is it about love? What is it about, it may sound corny, but what is it about a connection joined at the hip, these sort

of phrases, these sort of ideas that makes you a better person and makes you sore? Do you think that's true? And it does that? I think it's absolutely 1,000% true. You know, I think, first of all, it's It's support and trust and family, you know, in the great sense of family.

You create your new family. You know, I'm spending more time with my wife than I ever spent with my family, you know, post-leaving 18. It really, yeah, being with Ali, you know, it took me a few years. I was still my own demonic self. You know, after my marriage, I went through a period of, a very self-destructive period of, you know, being single and being, yeah, you know, sort of, uh, uh, you just didn't love yourself.

Yeah, yeah, and I, I went through a period of kind of a dark period. And, and Ali, I met Ali before we were together. We knew each other for six years. But when I met her, I was like, this girl is the one. That's the one. But, you know, I wasn't ready. she was she suddenly was like stay away from me you're a bad boy you're trouble and you know the first few years of our relationship I really had to learn a lot I had to learn to compromise a lot

compromise is actually a beautiful thing it really enables you to listen to to listen to yourself in a way and to listen to your partner which is one of the most important things there is but I do believe that a partnership and you know then love becomes love is always there it just it sort of transforms itself into something deeper there's love there's that oh my god consuming love and sex and everything which is fantastic and then it transforms into something so deep so profound you know and it turns into this beautiful love lover friendship partnership that is unbreakable, you know, I'm, you know, knock on wood, but I really feel it makes you also, it makes you not question things, you know, you become, you become a

husband and then you meet people, you know, because there are temptations and everything, but no, you just always, you will always be the husband. You'll be like, yeah, you're a very interesting, attractive person, but you know what? I'm married to my wife and you know what? what she gives me is 1 million percent better than anyone else that comes in front of my path. So I'm not even going to go there and that I will be, I suddenly become a husband like a dad, you know, and I do it and it becomes natural because this is who I've become and I'm proud of it. And I'm not one of it. You know, I never understand people who are like, oh, well, you get married and then no, my God.

what a profound experience I love it I mean I'm sorry I'm diverging I'm not really responding I'm learning I'm learning this is learning and Ali with her support has made me sore

beyond my wildest expectations as a man because the most important is as a man you know as an actor as an artist so yeah yeah I love Sebastian I love that you were so open about that

and that that resonates this is called shit talking with Sebastian Roche This is rapid fire from my patron family. If you want to join patrons, patreon.com slash inside of you. So really quick. Lisa H., I was introduced to you through Supernatural, but I've started watching older TV shows where you show up in your extensive career,

which role, no matter how small was your favorite role to play? And, I mean, one of my favorite roles was this role I played on the man in the High Castle, a deeply flawed, conflicted person called Martin Hoisman. It was just an extra, it was really, it was kind of a turning point in my career in terms of bringing everything down and you know the challenge of speaking German when I lied about speaking

German. And working on it to be perfect and also the incredible complexity of the character. So, you know. Speachn't you have a word. Can you listen and write them? Or do you know, they're saying in a unborn, young men, only one of my chaffed-gername. I speak a German German. I speak a little German, but not very good. Yeah, me too. Not very much.

Danny. No, no, you do. I, well, I have a good ear. Yeah, yeah. So I remember I had an audition for a movie, and I remember, I memorized it, the German and for the audition. I remember, and I went in there, and I started, I went, I started, you know, doing it. And he goes, oh, no, no, no, I want you to hear you in English. I go, no, but it's said in the, I just spent four days learning this shit, you fucking idiot.

Oh, no. Fuck, are you, Rosenbaum means red tree. Red tree, yeah. Also, I remember living in France, near the Friedensengel and Prince of Gertensstrasse in in Munchin? And it did my, by the way, I'm Jewish, so my grandparents didn't love me like doing this accent constantly in front of them.

They were like, all right, we get it. You can do a German accent. They were fine. Danny, I love, I love Sebastian. What was his favorite moment as Balthazar on Supernatural? My favorite moment as Balthazar on Supernatural was, you know, being with the guys, Jared Jensen, Misha, the whole crew, you know. They loved you.

Rob and Spate, I talked to him before, and they're like, oh, my God, the guy's great and they said a few things so the guy oh yeah yeah i mean robin i mean you know the most wonderful thing actually was coming into the family because then we became we all became friends and we started doing fan events and as you know when you start doing fan events with uh cast members it becomes like a big theatrical truth yeah and you get to know people intimately and it's you go to these wonderful places so yeah i mean that was the greatest experience you know the role was super fun oh yeah uh but yeah uh this is this is from step and then the other part the second part of the question is from jennifer n so step a and jennifer

anne do you have any desire to return to general hospital or is that behind you and if you could work with anyone from general hospital in a movie who would it be and why well uh yeah i mean i think general hospital is behind me you know it was it was actually one of the best decisions funny enough that i made in my career in 2007 you know i turned it down I was like, I'm a theater actor. I don't do soaps. Then I took it and it completely changed my career. Acting wise, too, because I experimented so much.

I did, you know, a few hundred episodes. So it was a great memory, great character. They let me do anything I wanted. They couldn't have been nicer with me. Wow. I love Nancy Lee Gran on General Hospital. I'd love to work with her again. She's a character.

Michelle Kay. Is it Mikhail or Michael? Michael. Well, it's actually in, in, it would be Mikhail, Mikhail Son, because he's, he's of Scandinavian origin. Well, she loved you, Michael on Vampire Diaries and Originals. Speaking of which, any chance we might see you again, see you on legacies. I don't know. That's up to Julie Pleck.

Loves playing that character, very extreme character. I would have put it, I would put him up there in the complex characters that I play. Richard T. All the projects you've been in over the years, which one stands out for you the most? Again, I think, you know, Man in the High Castle. In terms of, you know, in terms of production, it was like shooting a movie every episode. The content, of course, is a bit difficult, but, you know, quite, quite extraordinary. Well, this is, I came up with a new game here. This is called Roche.

So each sentence starts out with a letter of your last name, then R-O-C-H-E. So, for instance, these are my questions. The raddest set piece or prop or something you kept from a set. Oh, my God. Wait, which one? Radis set piece. Do you know what? I don't know because I don't think I've ever taken a set piece.

I've taken clothes. Well, what piece of clothing? When I was doing Odyssey 5, I had these beautiful clothes that they gave me, you know, I didn't steal them. You know, they gave me all these products, beautiful clothes. I stole things. I stole things. I guess that's it. I stole things.

Oh, what are you OCD about? The one thing you're OCD about? Super OCD about cleanliness and putting things away. Good, good. C, this is the C in Roche. Can you sing, I want you to sing, or at least the line, the first 80s song that comes to mind. Just, uh, anything that comes to me, baby.

Humanly, good God. Don't you want me? I was working in a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you. I wanted to be Phil. What was this, Phil Air? Yeah, Phil. It was the Human League.

Lead singer was. Human league, yeah, what's his name? Philoki. I remember, I remember, I'm only human. I'm only. And then I loved the major of UltraVox. I don't know if you know. Oh, yeah.

This means nothing to me. Oh, Vienna. Oh, yeah. that song. I'm going to write that down again. UltraVox. That's right. Vienna. Okay. And of course, I wanted to be Bono because, you know, I was like... You could play Bono. Yeah. By the way, uh, H. Perotet. Have you ever kissed someone on the set that had bad breath and what did you do about it? Oh, yes, I did. I basically couldn't, you know, I felt, you know, you can't do anything about it. Yeah, you can. You can go to the makeup artist

and their makeup artist and just say, hey, couldn't you offer her mint or some toothpaste or him, him some toothpaste or a mint? Or you can just say to the person, did you just have a shit sandwich? Yeah, that won't work. Okay. I remember the first time it was a French TV series I did

and the girl was so beautiful and had the worst breath. Anyway. Yeah, well, that sucks. E for O'Shea, last one. Ever been naked in a scene where you show your dong? I was naked on stage where I showed my dong. And it was...

Is that the... Al Pacino, did Al Pacino see your dong? No, no, no, he didn't see my dong in this. No, he was on, in France, I was doing this play called Lichange de Paul Clodel, and I made sure that the bath that I was coming out of was very warm. And I was very happy about it. Yeah, look at this. I am French after all.

I also know Rob Benedict and Richard Spate from Supernatural said, well, I know you speak English, French, Spanish, Italian. It's pretty amazing. say kiss my ass in French? You wouldn't say enbrasse my cuh, you'd say, you'd say, va de fte fudre, or va de fere enqueulee, which means go, go get, well, can I say?

Go get fucked. Yeah, go get fucked up the ass, basically. Oh, wow. You went extreme. I like that. Sorry, sorry, sorry, yeah. Spanish. In French, you know, we use slang a lot. I'm learning Korean, by the way, at the moment. Let me hear something in Korean.

I mean, that's awesome. I'm Sebastian Roche, I mean, I'm Pan, Poranso, Pan, Pan, Younguk Sardamian. That's awesome. That means I'm Sebastian,

Roche, I'm half French, half British person. Kiss my ass in Spanish. I mean, I don't know if you, I'd say get fucked in the ass. There's, um, ah. Just say get.

I say, just say get effed in the butt again in Spanish. That's probably easier. In Spanish, I think there's a, Jodder. And then, no, what is in Spanish? In Spanish, shit, there's, cackete your boca. Wow. Because we can't speak of Spanish, too, in France. Damn, he's quick.

I learned that at school. I learned Italian, too, at school. And I love speaking those, you know, it's like vafan culo in Italian, you know. Right. How do you say in Italian? My name is Sebastian. and I'm the coolest guy in the world. In Italian?

My name Sebastiano Roche. I'm a person really stupenda. That sounds amazing. I love it. When we go on fan events, all the guys like Rob,

everyone's like, okay, Sebastian, all that you do. Yeah, it's a fan. We're in Rome. Yeah, it's fun. Lastly, you know, Benedict told me this,

that you and your brother learned every capital to every country in the world. Is that true? Yes, it's true because, you know, on the boat, what I read was the almanac and the atlas, you know, so, yeah. So if I said, what's the capital of Uganda? It's Kampala. But I went there.

What's the capital of Brazil? Brazil is actually Brasilia and not Rio de Janeiro. Look at that. What's the capital of Uruguay? Uruguay is Montevideo. Gosh, what is going on? you really are you're bright you're bright you're bright you don't even have the looks you have the brightness i don't know about that but well man you know the thing is i i spent a lot of time reading books on

the on the boat it was amazing it was my my grandfather i have my granddad to thank for that he would send packets of books you know it what they call post restants at the mail place in you know west africa and we'd pick them up and then he'd send them to the caribbean you know in some Caribbean places and I picked them up. Yeah, it was great. Well, look, this has been so much fun. I'm so glad we finally got to talk. Me too.

Me too, because I always love your podcast. You know, I always love, you know, and you're such a good, you know, you ask always such interesting questions, you know. I think I just want to have fun. I would want to, like, when I like someone, I just want to talk. You know, the best compliment is somebody said,

it's just like listening to two people just have a real conversation. And that's the best compliment you can give because I don't want to feel like I'm interviewing you. I'm almost like a kid in the candy store going, what about this? Dad, how much longer do we have? Well, what about the boat? How long were you on the boat? Like, it's like, it's just things. I love that it's stream of consciousness. That's what I like, because it's, yeah, it's like I'm having, it's like we're having lunch and we're just having

conversation. Yeah. It's really cool. Absolutely. Well, listen, I love this. Thank you for allow me to be inside of you. I hope you come back. And what are your handles so people can follow you and all that? My handles. So, uh, on Instagram and I'm at Sebastian Roche, our O-C-H-E. And on Twitter, I'm at Seb Roche. And that's it, because I got rid of Facebook and I don't want to be on TikTok. Yeah, I'm not on TikTok.

I can't go there yet. I just don't know. I can't waste any more time. Yeah. But thank you, Michael. It was a real pleasure. And, you know, you're a great guy. Hey, back at you. Smart, funny, and very caring, which is extremely important. Well, it's important to me to hear

that. And thank you so much. And give your wife a big kiss. And I hope you guys have many, many good years together. Yeah, yeah, you too. And let's, let's hang out one of these years. I'd love to. Once this is all over, man, I'm going to be hanging with everybody

because they're going to get tired of me. Yeah, no, good. They're already tired of me. All right, buddy. I love you. Take care, mate. Love you too, mate. You're right.

That was a great episode. It's just a good story. You don't get out of a lot of people, you know? I love stories, and we just, I just kept picking them on it. Like, I want to know more. I want to know more. How was this possible?

I'm telling you, I go on a trip with my, you know, I remember with my parents, it's just like, even now when I go see, I love my parents, you know, but if I go see them, I mean, two days is enough. I'm good. It's great to see you. I can't spend more time with that. I think it's not only that I can't, they can't. I feel like they're tired of me within an hour.

It's like, you know, just it feels like, you know, I'm not wanted. It feels like, I don't think you want to be here anymore. I think we had a hug and we had dinner and then next day we went swimming. And I think that you're kind of done. and that makes me feel like I'm kind of done. So, I don't know. Like I said, I love my parents, but good on you, Sebastian. Thank you guys so much for all the love on the show.

Again, if you want any awesome merch, go to the inside of you online store. You can get merch 15% off. Ryan's Waxed 15, no apostrophe. And you can get stuff like small the lunchboxes and t-shirts and tumblers and hats and all sorts of stuff. And also the Sunspin band. And if you go to sunspin.com, you can get a bunch of Sunspin merch. You can book the band. You can book a Zoom there.

Our next stage it is the last Saturday of the month, which will be 2 p.m. and 6 p.m. And that is, that's going to be a good time. So if you want to join Patreon, it's P-A-T-R-E-O-N, join, and I will, I'll message you right after. It's a great family. There's lots of perks. There's a bunch of stuff. I think you're going to really dig it if you want to help the podcast a little more. that's patreon.com slash inside of you.

Patreon.com slash inside of you. And of course, the handles for the podcast, Ryan. At Inside of You Pod on Twitter, at Inside of You podcast on Instagram and Facebook. Yes, please, please follow us and spread the word and you can watch on YouTube and listen on Spotify and Apple and all that stuff. Stitcher. It's really a good time.

Why don't I read the top patrons? These are people who, they give back in a big way to the podcast and they've been around a while and how about a round of applause for them and now for a special effect sound effect applause which one sounded better uh here we go nancy d mary b lea s trisha f sarah v little lisa yukiko jill b b bryan h lord nico p robin s jerry w robert B, Jason W. Apothean, Kristen K, not to be confused with, Kristen Kruke, Amelia O, Allison L, Lucas M. Raj, C, Joshua, D, Emily S, CJP, Samantha, M. We got Jennifer N, Jackie P, Stacey L, Carly, H, Carly S, Jan S, Jamal F, Janelle, B, Carrie B, Tab of the 272, not to be confused with.

Tab with the 273. Ashley Ryan, Kimberly E, Mike E, Marissa, N, L Don Supremo, 99 more, Ramira, Santiago M, Sarah F, Chad, W, N, N, P, Ray, A. Maya P. Maddie S. Kendrick F. Ashley E. Shanidy. A lot of patrons. A lot of patrons love. You got to join us here on this on this lovely patron. Patreon.com slash inside of you. Matt W. Belinda N. Kevin V. James R. Chris H. Spider-H. Spider-Man. Shila G. Shila G. Ray H. Tab of the T. Tom and Suzanne B. K. K. Lillianna B. And this is the last list right here, Andrew T, Betsy, D, Claire M, Liz J, Laura, L, Chad B, Rochelle E, Nathan E, Brandel D, Taylor K, Neal A, Marion A, Meg K, Janelle P, Trav L, Dan N, Jennifer J, Wayne M, Wayne M, C, D, Diane Raine G, Ojetta, Lorain G, Oig, G, Og, G, Ogun, C, Corey M, C, Corey, H. This list was once really short. Veronica K, Big Stevie W. Kendall T. Lindsay M. Carol D. K.D. G. Sandy B. Angel M. Eric C. Reannon C. Reanne C. Stephen M. C. C. C. C. S. C. C. S. That is a lot of patrons. It's a lot of patron love. We're going to do a Sunday jam session soon where my buddy Rob and I, we kind of play tunes that people. It's one of those things, Ryan, where it's a YouTube live. private event just for my patrons and I see them all on there and we're commenting back and forth

to each other and I'm answering their questions and then they say play this song we kind of just improv song we'll look up the lyrics and we'll just play it and it's a lot of fun that's one of the perks and also top tiers get like boxes sent to them every couple of months and little notes for me and there's a bunch of other stuff but I really thank you guys for sticking with the podcast I said it before I say it again thank you cumulus thank you Ryan thank you Bryce I love doing it I want to keep it got a lot of great guests coming up and uh daddy needs a vacation daddy's going to take a vacation soon oh daddy's going to take a big vacation i'm going to see my grandma and i'm going to go stay with my friend harland and uh florida for like a couple days so i got some friends staying at

the house and that's always tricky but uh you know it's hard to leave my little blanchy yeah you know that little puppy but uh i just got to have guidelines and say okay you got to make sure you know these are the things you got to make sure of you know it's it is tough man i love that little things so much. And after Irv passed away, I think there's just more like, yeah, the other day, I go, oh my God, I can't lose you. She looks at me and she's like, I'm two and a half. I don't think I'm going anywhere. What the fuck are you crying for? I'm like, because I lost her. Because she is a teenager, huh? I guess she is. I mean, oh my God, dad. Three times seven is 21. I guess in doggy. She'll be 21 July 11th, which is my birthday. Thank you for all the wishes. No, it's not yet. But thank you for

another good week, Ryan. Another great episode. Thank you for working so hard. And, uh, From my home in the Hollywood Hills, I'm Michael Rosenbaum. I'm Ryan Tears. And wave to the camera. We love you. Be good to yourselves. You owe it to yourselves to be good to yourselves. Thank you for allowing to be inside of each and every one of you.

Be good. I'll see you next week. Please join me. And right into the show. Hello at inside you podcast.com. And I will do read them. See you later. Hi, I'm Joe Saul-Ci. I host of the Stacking Benjamin's podcast. Today, we're going to talk about

what if you came across $50,000. What would you do? Put it into a tax-advantaged retirement account. The mortgage. That's what we do. Make a down payment on a home. Something nice. Buying a vehicle. A separate bucket for this edition that we're adding. $50,000. I'll buy a new podcast. You'll buy new friends. And we're done. Thanks for playing everybody. We're out of here. Stacky Benjamin's follow and listen on your favorite platform.