Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum - True Blood’s KRISTIN BAUER: Connection is Key

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

Kristin Bauer (True Blood, The Boy Behind the Door) joins us this week to share her experience going from a small town upbringing in Wisconsin, to becoming a cosmetologist, and eventually falling in love with film and landing a dream role in True Blood. Kristin tells all this week, and opens up about some unfortunate experiences in this industry, including being fired off of HBO’s Hung and an extremely uncomfortable and risque audition for Dancing at the Blue Iguana. We also talk about ageism in Hollywood, her love for the crew and writing on a set, and how she’s able to pull from her emotions so easily during a performance. Thank you to our Sponsors: ❤️ Betterhelp: https://betterhelp.com/inside 🛍️ Shopify: https://shopify.com/inside Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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tables, or join a live dealer game to feel the thrill of real-time action, all from the comfort of your own devices. Why settle for less when you can go for the gold at Golden Nugget Online Casino. Gambling problem call connects Ontario 1866531-260. 19 and over, physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggett Casino.com for details. Please play responsibly. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum, Whatever you guys like. Thanks for tuning in. I know you got a lot of choices. We talk about this all the time. You got a lot of choices. There's a lot of podcasts, a lot of actors with podcasts. But we help people here, Ryan. We talk real stuff. We get deep. Yeah. Damn it. Yeah, we're not smartless. We're smart. Er. Er. We appreciate you guys following us. subscribing to us on YouTube, Apple, Spotify, everywhere. Make sure you follow us on our handles, right?

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All right, I'm talking about that. Great guest, as always, I really love my guests. Kristen Bauer. Yeah. She was an open book, man. I always, when I say that, I just get excited because I know you're going to relate to a lot of things she talks about. And she's just really open and gets personal.

And it was a joy to have. I mean, if you're a true blood fan or not, She's been on some very cool projects, something that we talk about and we talk about her life and all that jazz without further ado. Ryan, are you good? I'm good. You well? I'm good. Let's get into it. You want to get into it? Let's get inside of Kristen Bauer. It's my point of you. You're listening to Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum. from a live studio audience. Thank God there are Ryan's. I know, thank God. Ryan does a lot of things, though.

Really? Yes, he edits, he writes, he's thinking this awesome class. Now, Ryan's doing a lot of stuff. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. He's an athlete. What? Yeah.

You know, back in high school, he was most likely to, most athletic. He was most athletic out of 88 kids in his school. Oh my gosh. Hey, still, that's a lot. There's a lot, 87 others. Weren't that athletic. So my school had even less than 88. Get out.

Okay. But I just... But you just got here. In Wisconsin? Yes. How many people were at your high school? There were 20 kids, I think 19 in my whole grade, I think. What?

You know, the thing that sucks about that is everybody knows if you're stupid. I had like 400 people, so I kind of hid underneath the... So no one really... Yeah, no. You know, I could just hide through. Oh, there's other dumb kids. There was no hiding. Here are the fabulous things.

there were really no clicks because we didn't have the brain of kids had to also be the athletes had to also be the artsy kids like we all we and and there were of course the super nerds that I cheated off of and there were of course the athletes which I I was one too Ryan but I don't think I was the first out of 88 but we had no locks on our lockers what yes I guess because there's so few you know who's solid it's narrowed it down Right. Oh, my gosh, no locks in there. You know what the, I'm perverted? You know what the first thing I thought it was? No. I wonder out of, there's not that many people here. And if you've grown up with them, like, did anyone hook up?

No. Nobody hooked up at all. No one slept with each other in high school. No, and that was that. Well, actually, I did. You did. Actually, I did. With who?

Eric. Eric, who? No, you don't say that. Eric. What grade? What grade? So here's how that would happen. So there were two ways that you could hook up with people.

You're all right. I already like you. I thought just says, here's how it happens. The we, that, anyway, that vagina. No, I can tell you that too. I mean, it's fairly, you know, routine. You go to a party and you drink too much. But the way that people could date was when you went from middle school to high school.

You were in uniform up until eighth grade. Ninth grade started upper school, we called it. And then that was like fresh meat came in, right? So we were fairly segregated in our lower, middle, and upper schools. Frank Lloyd Wright designed the building. Wow. Or his school did. His school did.

It's a beautiful school. And they were concentric circles with these really interesting hallways that would connect. What's concentric mean? Well, who knows? Consent next to each other. Ryan? Circles next to each other? I think so.

Adjacent circles? Con. I don't know. Centric. Con is with. With? With. With circle.

With circles. Okay. There's circles. Yeah. Okay. Ryan, if Ryan doesn't know, no one knows me. No, I didn't do it well in math. Oh, okay.

That was most athletic. I was not doing math, obviously. Right, right. I was athletic and in calculus. See, that's what I mean. We didn't have enough people. You had to do all of it. The kid who got voted most attractive went to Penn.

It was a genius. Really? Yeah, he had it all going for him. It's not fair. Where's he now? Is he still doing what? I think he's like curing diseases in Brazil. I think he's like. Oh my gosh. Yeah. That's last I heard of him. But yeah. So there you go. Well, we're doing something, Ryan. We're helping people with anxiety, life, talking about real stuff. I guess. You know, but we're not saving people. Well, maybe we are. Maybe we are. Maybe we are. We don't know. I mean, if you think about the world without, because I'm a, I am a really an artist being. That's what I do. I do art stuff. I do a lot of other stuff, but it drains. me so right but the what would the think of this world without books music film TV it's death it's it's concrete as far as you can see you know what I mean it's it's 1984 it's it's not livable well yeah I don't know how I could survive without a world without music with a world without music music is the one thing there's not many people

people who could. No, that's the one thing. Books, I like books, but I love music. There's something that calms me if I'm in the car and I'm just, I always have calming music. I don't like dance music. People are playing hard music. I got to check. Christopher Cross. Just sailing away. The reverie caught up in the reverie. Anyway, but yes, I agree with that. I agree. But the connection is important. Connection is really huge. You know, that's, I think that's the most important thing. Well, that's like, you know, when they look at the blue zones, right, where people live. to be over a hundred more than other places. There's five.

What are they? They're islands. One is Okinawa. There's another one in Italy. There's another one I believe in Greece. And they've looked for what are common threads. And one of them is community. Another one is diet.

Another one is moving around your body. Right. And then another one is, I believe, and it might be part. community is valuing old people. They're part of the world still. They aren't just, they don't like Hollywood become invisible rocks, lamps. You know what I mean? As an actress over 50, I'm becoming just a fucking lamp, you know.

Really? That's how you feel? Yeah. That sucks. It does. Ageism. Ageism. We need to get rid of ageism.

It's a thing. So right before I... No, I know, I know. Right before I came here, this could be a skin cancer awareness, but I have this band-aid on my cheek because... You couldn't even see it on any of these angles. You didn't even have to bring it up. Fuck. But it doesn't matter. You can't see it, but we can imagine?

Wait, can you swear on you? I should have cleared this with you. Of course. Yes, you could swear. Okay, good. That's, that's lucky for me. But I'm sitting there waiting for the guy to come in, the doctor, and I'm looking at this enormous billboard thing, I guess smaller than a billboard, because it fits in. a room, but it's large from my perspective. And it's a white woman with blonde hair. And because we age the worst, the fastest. And it's at the top, she's really old and at the bottom she's young. And it has these small intervention to stay young, a little more intervention, a little more. So at the

bottom is like wear sunscreen and drink water. At the top is facelift. And I'm looking at this thing for ever you know he takes a while to come in and i'm like wow there is not it's a the fairest person which is me so i'm like well that doesn't feel good right and then also it's not a dude right dudes aren't sitting there and then the big ad below it was a picture of an ass with cellulite and it was how to this new injectable drug that you can get rid of that like wow it is so tough to be a chick in some ways. I absolutely agree with you. It's been like that for, I mean, forever.

Ever. Forever. Ever. And in my lifetime, it's changed quite a bit in some ways. And in other ways, it hasn't changed at all. Yeah. Yeah. So there you have that.

So anyway, back to high school and Eric. No. Yeah. Oh, here was. But you said something about your skin cancer. Yeah. It was cancer? No.

Thank God. So my father died of that. Skin cancer, you had melanoma? Yep. How old was he? 68. Oh, my God, that's so young. It's too young.

Was that the worst thing in the world for you? Were you close with your father? Yeah. Immediately I could see it. Just hits my heart. When did this happen? Forever. It happened in 98.

And I'm, and since, yeah, and I've lost a lot of people since then. My life has definitely been shaped by loss. But my mom has had it. my brother and my sister and they're all my brother and sister are older so every four months since he got it in 96 I go in and strip down and the guy looks me over and cuts a few things off and then I get the 10 days later they call and say you're fine so that's how I guess you do it I had it I had skin cancer a year ago you did it was squamish oh yeah yeah so it wasn't no nooma thank God and I have to go in every six months for a checkup.

Yep, that's it. I just was in there last week. Yep. And. So you know the drill. See, this is the people that don't have melanin thing. Did he, did he, your father, was he one that never went to the doctor or never, if you would have went in early, they could have fixed it, could have gotten to it?

His was part of a mystery where it started inside his body. Mm. And they didn't find it on the skin first. My mother, that's very rare. And then one of the treatments for it, in fact, the only treatment at that time, I don't know now, they would take that tumor and they would make a vaccine from your own tumor and inject it back into you for, I think he went every week and then it was every month and then it was every two months. but the hospital that removed the tumor lost the tumor and so his what yeah so his chance of survival went from 50% to five with that lost item oh my god yeah that's freaking brutal it's brutal so he got a general vaccine at the john wayne clinic here in california and they do it at the mayo

and John Wayne. And, you know, it's just they don't really have anything for it once it's done that. You know what's amazing is I could tell why you're such a great actress. Because when I mentioned your father, you immediately tapped into that. Emotion just came over you. Yeah. It was like, boom, right there. Yeah.

You can easily cry on stage on set, can't you? I can, but, you know, not if it's crap writing, right? So, like, right? So like true blood, I love Scarsgaard. You know, I love him. Wow. Emotional again. I know.

So Alex would say she'll even cry if she talks about crying. I cry a lot when it's like I don't have any filters at all. And but, you know, when I was doing a billion guest stars on every procedural and it's like, my daughter's mother. brother. Was it the brother's daughter baby who got killed? You know, it's like, I don't know how you do that for 12 hours a day. I did it, but it was just, arg. But when it's great writing, you know, like, so when I got to the seasons where we found Pam's more vulnerable side, I would just look at Alex and think if I don't, if I didn't even see him for a month, I could cry about that. So, yeah. You had a close relationship with him. I did.

And so just hearing his name, you immediately. Yeah, but I also cried when I met your dog. You got a little emotional when you met Blanche. You love dogs. I could see it. You rescue. I love when people rescue. Go to Arm Animal Rescue Mission.

My friend Shiro runs it. Rescue an animal. There's so many animals. Rescue an animal for God's sakes. Rescue for God's sakes. It's not a purse. You don't need a designer dog. What's wrong with people?

I don't get it. I don't get it. You know, you don't love the thing because it's pure bread, you know, then that makes you crazy. Right. So you love the thing because you love the thing. You know what's weird is I never thought I could love something as much as I love my dog. Yeah. I am obsessed with her.

Isn't it the best? I don't know. I start to think something's wrong with me. Yeah. I wake up in the middle of the night to kiss her. I'm not, I swear to God. Just to hold her. She's like, come on, dude.

It's 3 a. Yeah, she's like, I'm sleeping. But I, I just freaking, she barks, you know. Yeah, she's, no, she's talking about. But she's amazing. No, is this your first dog? No, my other dog died two years ago, Irv, and that was, that was painful. Ooh, it's so bad.

It's bad. It's like, you know. It's so bad. It's family. You're losing family. You're losing a kid. I could tap into that and that feeling when I had to put him down and it's, it's not easy. Well, I would use my dog dying.

when I was on those freaking CSIs or whatever they are. And I'd decry, I'd be like literally trying to dredge up that day. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. I'm going to speak to you about something that's going to help you save money. Period. It's Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

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Yeah, I mean, you did a lot. You're not kidding. LA law. Everybody loves Raymond, two and a half men, Star Trek, CSI, Desperate Housewives, Fantasy Island, Boston Legal, Justice Island, Lawson Clark, all these shows. I hoard around. Now, was it exhausting? Did you like being a guest star?

Were you like, I want to be a regular? I want to do, I mean, were you ever thinking of quitting? Oh, God, did I think about quitting? So I, all of the above, because I came into the industry, kind of just looking for, you know, I was an art major in school. Design, right? Uh-huh. And then I kind of went into fine art. And then I didn't really know what I was going to do.

And then I dropped out. My parents were mad. And so then I, they didn't want to support me anymore. So I got a billion menial labor jobs. So I was working like five crappy jobs for minimal. minimum wage or less. What was minimum wage back then? I remember I was making $3.35 at one job.

Yeah, I was making $7 an hour, right? So you have a billion roommates. Mm-hmm. And, you know, you're young, right? So you have more resiliency, really. And I was craving adventure. So I was looking for a better job. So I went to makeup school because I was painting portraits.

and I thought I could actually paint faces. And then there is, that's how I got on sets. And I was like, this is really fun. Because it was a nice balance to just, you know, I just pictured this life of being alone in a room doing art. Like, what do you even do with that? Like, how do you sell it? You know what I mean?

You go crazy. Like, you go crazy. Yeah. So, which is pretty much what I've been doing the last two years. So without being on a set. And you're selling stuff. commission stuff. Yes, I do. That's pretty cool. It is pretty cool. And it's feeling more cool now than it did then. Then was just, I didn't know what the F I was going to do with my life. So.

And now it's more of a passion. You can do this. You've done. You've had success. Right. You keep working. And this is like, this is something I could just do and have fun with now. That's it. That's exactly it. I know that feeling. I had to leave the shire, you know, have Smeagle, get the ring, throw it in the thing. to get back to the shire to go, oh, it's actually kind of nice here. Right. Right? But I then ended up going to an acting class. I went to Beverly Hills Playhouse, so Milton Cotellas is, and I was with Jocelyn Jones.

It was brilliant and still is. And I remember she called new people down to the stage and she said, what do you want to do here? And I was like, I'm just kind of looking for a better job than washing windows. And she said, well, then this place isn't for you. And I'm like, what, what? Why? And she said, because we teach people to be great. And I said, no, that's cool. I mean, I'll be great.

If you want me to be great, I'll be great. So then I got in the union through doing extra work. And then I ended up within like a year getting a series and being a series regular for a year. And I thought, it was called The Crew. So it was sitcom time. Right. And I loved those days. Oh, isn't it?

Those were good days. I actually don't love doing sitcoms. I've done a couple and I don't know, my anxiety and my stress of like having to learn, like Monday you do a table read, Tuesday everything changes. Wednesday you start putting it on its feet. Thursday they're still making changes and now you're doing it in front of the networking studio. Friday you're going up in front of a live studio audience. That is terrifying.

It's terrifying. Now I did it and I thought I was good at it, but it was too hard for me. It's pretty stressful. Some people think it's the easiest job in the world. I don't think that. That's not how my mind works. You know, and maybe now that anxiety is a funny thing because I didn't have it back then. Me neither.

Right? I mean, I did, but I was stressed, but now I know what anxiety really is. Me too. What happened? You know, it's a funny thing. Once it turns on, this happened to me with claustrophobia. I'm not too a little bit. Yeah, I hate elevators.

Oh, I could do cave dives. I did scuba diving where I went down in tunnels into the earth for 45 minutes in rock. Nope. The rock, the tunnels were so small. I had to hold my instruments to my belly because my back was hitting and my tummy was hitting. No. Okay? Ryan?

Now I can get, I can be on an airplane in first class and be like, ooh, there it is. turn on a movie turn on a movie do your belly breathing um hold your vagus nerve points what's your vagus nerve points so it's in your neck right yeah so it's down behind your ear on both sides down the neck yeah and you can put your your finger like this behind your ear and kind of wrap your hand around and then put the other one in the other armpit and then do your belly breathing make sure your exhale is longer than your inhale and then have Xanax in your purse because if it's right and then do drugs and then do drugs but having the knowing that I've got that in my purse then I don't need it isn't that funny yes because it is it's a panic and right now I'm doing a course a big long six month long

training in this stuff with this brilliant woman Leslie Huddard because I don't want to be caught out like that again. Like COVID put me under, underdude. And anxiety went through the roof. Yeah. So I have a real. So this is a six month course for working on anxiety and yes. Six months. That gives me anxiety. Yeah. That's a lot of work. It's a lot. But it's only a few hours a week because it's actually something, it's called the Body Wisdom Academy. And it's learning about the subtle body and how the mind and the body and the spirit work together. So it's actually a grounding, you know, all these words we use so much that none of us know what they mean anymore. But, you know, it's actually taking us out of those traps. So you can't really rush it.

It's not the kind of thing we can type A it, which type A people get anxiety. These are the people that get anxiety, right? We're perfectionists. We're type A. We're... Quick fixes. We want a quick fix. Yeah. We want to be in control. We want a quick fix. We're going to solve it. None of that's going to work here because we've got to move back out of the mind because the mind is the terrorist and into what you could call the space of the heart, which would be more subtle. And when we're on a set and on a plane and getting home and you got to do laundry and do this before. I mean, you and I. saw each other in a billion planes and I mean it's just we never stop going yeah it's a great thing it's a wonderful life also there's no room to hear the whispers from whatever you think god is that's that's a that's a distracted world you know we're distracted we're moving we're entertaining we're performing so you know this course has been I think where I need to go in the last act of

my life last act she says like this is the last it's so funny because someone else bruce campbell yeah he's a good friend of mine right there signed it hey rosy pants stay weird his name is coming up a lot right now in my life he's just a great guy he's been on the podcast a couple times i got in stone with him went bike riding i love we were just texting in fact you want to see what my last text to bruce was yes all right i'll show it to you it's very quick it's very quick it is you used to love me i said he said you used to be lovable and I go thank you that's the kind of relationship we that's Bruce Campbell but but I'm glad you're doing this and Bruce said that he's in his third act

and the third act is fuck everything else I'm doing this for me that's it this is the third act this is the final chapter that's it there's three acts that's it you're 20 30 then to your 50 55 60 or whatever that's it and then the rest That's it. And so you're like, you're taking care of anything that you think is out of whack. Yeah. Inbalanced. That's it.

And that sort of like, what do I want to do? I don't really know. You know, it's an interesting question throughout the day because there's all this stuff I have to do. What do you have to do? You got to pay property tax and I got to do the laundry and I got to now fix my fence and then I, you know, stop. I got to go to the mailbox place and get the mail. You can have your husband do that. I do try to get him to do as much as possible.

Von Stratton? Von Stratton. He is a beyond brilliant musician. His music, people with anxiety, I mean, like that's how I met him. Because his music is so brilliant. He is an autistic genius. So he's just not.

Autistic or artistic? Both. Okay. And so he's not really good at tasks. You know what I mean? He's good at getting the mail. Great at getting the mail. Oh, good.

He can walk the dog's pretty good. Good at getting the male. Affectionate? Hmm. Yes and no. You know, because his type... He's a Capricorn, isn't he? He's a Virgo.

Oh, okay. But this autistic, artistic personality, needs a lot of space because they're always disregulated. They are born disregulated. So they can't handle inflow. If he goes to the grocery store, he's got to take hours to get back to center,

you know, by himself. Yeah. You know, you were talking about, I said, was there ever a time when you wanted to quit? Oh, the same face. What kept you going? um probably not having anything else that i've ever done to pay my bills because and and that would

probably be the truth and then when i'm on the set i was doing a series in 2019 in Canada in Vancouver which i love Vancouver what series sacred lies okay and I was my dog was dying and I was flying in and out and I was exhausted and I actually when they were trying to do the deal and business affairs at Facebook network were really being dicks and I was in the emergency room with my dog and he had had a stroke we didn't know what and my manager called over and over and I finally picked up and was like I can't talk now. That's what the text meant when I said can't talk now. We've been together for 30 years, my manager and I, so we can yell at each other and not hate each other. And he said, all right, but just hear me out. Here's the deal.

Here's what they want. We have an hour. And I said, well, then the answer is no. And I've never said no to anything. I can't say no. But- It's powerful when you mean it. Holding my dog, I was like,

then if they can't wait, while I'm in the freaking emergency room, goodbye. And he took the job for me anyway. And now post-pandemic or whatever, now endemic, I'm glad he did. Right. But there was a lot around that job where I didn't want to be there. But I remember standing there so clearly waiting to enter the scene. The scene was happening in a bedroom on a set. and I could see Video Village and I could see the boom guy and I was like getting ready to walk in

and do kind of a great scene, great writing. And I was like, I love this. Really? Actually, I love this. I love the set. I love these Kearney motherfuckers, a bunch of crazy bastards just making shit. It's the best, the most creative, I mean, the people that we- Such good people in Cruz.

Those are always the most wonderful people. The best. Just down to earth, real people. I always become friends with them. I just feel I'm a kid from Indiana. I'm just want to hang out. I'm from Wisconsin, right? We're like, I know.

These are the best people ever. But you love acting. I love acting. That part between action and cut. Now, everything around it, right? Like this, we don't get to. Waiting. Take after, take after sitting.

my god after sitting after i mean it's not glamorous people think i've invited people and said i've talked about this before and they're like okay and i'm like why are you doing this for the 10th time we want to go 10th time they were so excited now they're like we want to get the hell out of you're like at 10 imagine doing it imagine doing it 12 hours a day and i'm going to do it for another 50 takes you know and and my feet hurt and god knows what that fog is i've been inhaling for 20 years right i always talk about to be do we have to have the fucking fog it looks really cool yeah looks really cool and i'm dead i know and they go it's fine it's fine we did not do one scene on true blood without true blood definitely with vampires and shit you kidding always had yeah yeah and we went to nights

every week you know so we flip back and forth and our shoots our shoots were minimum we started at 15 day episodes and we ended up at 25 day episodes. So we were doing three pages a day. So you're doing that thing. Wait, 25, wait, how many? What? What? Say that again? Say that again? We did 25 days for every, 20 days for every episode. Why? 20 days on Smallville with all the supernatural and all the effects, we did 10 days. Uh-huh. That must have been a fortune to make that show. A fortune. And they probably didn't pay you well. A fortune. They did not until we renegotiated you know when it was a hit and then they were generous right you know for that two years who are you close with on true true blood true blood still besides debor anne wall you have truest blood the

podcast yeah go listen to that folks you got to listen to that it's awesome it's you tell how much fun you're having but who besides debor are you still really close with or you could text my vampire crew so like moyer stephen moyer see i'm gonna cry there you go you really love the people you work with Who else? I love them so much. Inside of you is brought to you by Rocket Money. If you want to save money, then listen to me because I use this. Ryan uses this.

So many people use Rocket Money. It's a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Crazy, right? How cool is that? monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. And you know what's great? It works. It really works, Ron.

Ryan. Rocket money will even try to negotiate lowering your bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals. They'll even talk to customer service. Thank God. So you don't have to. I don't know how many times we talk about this, but like, you know, you got it and they helped you in so many ways. And with these subscriptions that you think are like, oh, it's a one month subscription for free and then you pay, well, we forget. We want to watch a show on some streamer and then we forget and now we owe $200 by the end of the year. They're there to make sure those things don't happen and they will save you money. You know, Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million

and canceled subscriptions with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Get alerts if your bills increase in price. If there's unusual activity in your accounts if you're close to going over budget and even when you're doing a good job. How doesn't everybody have rocket money? It's insane. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with rocket money. Download the rocket money app and enter my show name inside of you with Michael Rosenbaum in the survey so they know that I sent you. Don't wait. Download the rocket money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show. Ever wonder how dark the world can really get? Well, we dive.

into the twisted, the terrifying, and the true stories behind some of the world's most chilling crimes. Hi, I'm Ben. And I'm Nicole. Together we host Wicked and Grim, a true crime podcast that unpacks real-life horrors one case at a time. With deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink to take the edge off, we're here to explore the Wicked and Reveal the Grim.

We are Wicked and Grim. Follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform. Anna Pac-Win. You still close with her? Yes. That's so beautiful. She seems like a doll. She's a doll.

And all the people like I got to know like Sam Trammell. I did one scene with him. But I got to know him in the parking lots and the events and after table reads. And because we really, we were very segregated. I did not not work with shapeshifters and fairies and all these other, you know, inferior supernatals. But I got to be friends with like Michelle Forbes. And so Mariana Clavano, like all these people.

And when I'm doing the podcast and I'm reaching out to directors and producers and special effects guys and camera guys and wardrobe people, oh my God, Audrey Fisher, a wardrobe person and her wife, Desi. I mean, like, I love that. So the podcast, I cry just the whole, the podcast is me crying and Deb keeping this shit on the rails. She always tell you, like, come on, calm down. Stop crying. She doesn't outline and we'd really stick close to it.

She'll cry here. Yes. Kristen will cry and I'll keep going. Wow. And you did how many seasons? Because you were seven. Seven, the first season you were recurring and then they signed you to do. The first two.

First two. And then you became a regular. Yes. And man, that's great. That's great. Did you love when they ask you to be a regular? I guess you were tired of it. coming or recurring. I'm not doing this anymore. You have to make me a regular. Well, yes, I said

that season one. I said that season two and they were like, no, we're good. Thank you. Wow. So I did a pilot each year and I was doing a recurring on another show and I'm busting my balls like I've been doing forever flying around. And then season three, my manager called me one day and said, it was after table read. And he said, what did you do at that table read? And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to be fired. Again, I've been fired a lot. Oh, I want to hear this, but keep going with the story. Okay. So I'm like, nothing.

I didn't do, I did what I always do. I always fucking bring it to those things because they fire people. Yes. So, and I come from that comedy world. So you fucking bring it. You know, Scarsguard's so confident with just in his whole life. He's such a calm, wonderful person to be near, to just absorb some of that scars guardness. but he just, you know, eats his lunch and kind of like, oh, where are we?

And then, you know, sort of reads his line. And, you know, me, I'm tap dancing on the tightrope with the symbols between my knees, juggling plates. It's what it feels like. So I said, I didn't. I did the same thing I was to. And he goes, what did you do? This is my manager. He's such a funny guy.

He's intense. And I'm like, I did the same. same thing. I brought it, Ben. I did the same thing. He goes, well, they want to make you a regular. Like, what? Wow. And then I had done another pilot. And they wanted you. And they, we called them and said, can you release her two weeks early? Two weeks early. And they said, we just sold it. No. And I'm like, I had to put my head between my knees. They weren't going to allow you to do it. They weren't going to allow me to do it. And I called Mark Gordon, big deal producer. and he was like, no.

I called the other producer, begged him, and he was just insulted. He's like, so you want to do that show, but you don't want to do our show? And I'm like, yeah, this is a fucking hit. This is HBO. This is true blood, damn it. I mean, Anna won a Golden Globe. Are you kidding me? I know these people.

I bet this thing is going. I loved our pilot. But let's be honest, we don't know how long it's going to be on the air. Do we all just get off the bus? So what happened? Oh, my God. they said no no no HBO is going

we got to close the deal we got to close the deal they don't know then I'm on hold and we called a woman producer there and I crying of course begged her

and she said let me see what I can do and they let me out did the show ever make it no I think you know what and that's the interesting thing is that I I've checked back on it a couple

of times I was it was like a DC show and I was playing like the Sarah Palin character. It was pretty fun. And but I think it got aired as like a movie of the week maybe. Could you imagine if you didn't get true blood and you had to do that and that was it? Oh my God. And I... Your life would have been completely different. Completely different. These sliding doors where we have no control, which is the anxiety personality type that doesn't like that. So, you know, you know, usually our types have had trauma with a little tea. So, you know, we haven't been to Afghanistan, but life has been interesting.

That is true, yes. So before that, I'd done the pilot on Hung and got fired. Why did you get fired? So not my fault, actually, on this one. Are the other one's your fault? No, actually, none of them were a damn it. But I, what's his name? He directed Sideways, and he had just won the Oscar.

Alex Alexander Payne Thank you Thank you Ryan See he knows things He doesn't know con Concentric circles Concentric circles But he knows that

Go ahead Yeah that is In your defense That is more useful to us Than concentric circles It is So why did you get fired? So to try to make that succinct

This was one of those things And it just shows the class of HBO Actually is the moral of the end of the story Well Sue Nagel She's no longer there. I remember soon ago I pitched her a show. She didn't take it. Anyway, go ahead.

Yeah. Wow. Well, it was one of those auditions. You've probably had these where they say we've seen everyone in town. No one is right. And then you're like, okay. Yeah, exactly. Boy.

And there's no problem with the script, of course, when they've seen a thousand actresses who can't make it work. But I do tend to kind of come in the bottom of the ninth and self-person. problems for people. So I did that because they said, actors just aren't getting the humor. I read the scene and it's a sobbing divorce scene. And I'm like, well, okay. So it was set in the Midwest, thank God, because I gave her a Fargo accent. And I didn't cry. So me, the crier. And so I, because then it was funny. So, and I read with. And I read with. Who's the other actor?

So it's Alexander Payne and Thomas Jane. Thomas Jane. These people that have interesting names. So Thomas Jane reads with me, and he's a quirky duck, right? So he's not like, he's kind of improvising, which is a weird thing to do to the person who's auditioning, because I just need to know what the rhythm will be, and there wasn't. So I get it. Fly to Detroit, and we're rehearsing.

And Thomas Jane is like, he says his. line and then I'm about to say my line and he says his line again and then oh okay and then I go to see my and he says his line again I'm like wait what what's happening so then he keeps repeating his line kind of the Stella Adler thing maybe I'm thinking and then he kind of starts rolling on the floor doing yoga or something and I'm like uh this is interesting I've never I'm I'm like I'm like an old horror actress I'm like what do you want you know all right let's get your pants off let's get this thing going like I'm going to hit my mark I don't care what you do.

Right. I'm going to kill this thing. I don't even know that my scene partners are there because I can't, you can't rely on that. You can get fired if you're not prepared within your own circle. Right. And so I don't really know what's happening. So I do what I did in the test.

Afterwards, Alexander Payne says, oh my God, Thomas, you're so great to work with. I would so much rather film what you just did than what we just did. than what we have to film. Oh, and Kristen on the day, no accent, you'll be crying. And he leaves. And he just won the Oscar. And I'm like, he's wrong. But he just won an Oscar.

So they had me, he said, no makeup on Kristen. They dyed my hair, mousy. They put me in baggy, ugly clothes with food on him. And I'm sobbing for 12 hours. Snots running down my face. I don't want to be married to you. And I'm trying to save this one line, where she's like, back in high school,

you were the star athlete, you were this, you were that. And now you're just hung. So there was one line, right, where I could maybe still keep my job. So then I got, and then the producers would kind of at the end of the day, they went, oh, good job, Kristen. It was very funny. And I'm like, wow, it's not.

It wasn't. And you went home. And I went home. Oh, and I did not get along with the dude. Eddie James or something He was in the oceans movies But she just didn't get along He played my husband

First person ever Ever, I've never gotten along I get along with everybody He hated me And he basically told me that So Yeah He looked me up online

And saw that my dad Had guns And he attacked the shit out of me About gun control And I'm like hey I'm a liberal I got it My dad

I loved him He's dead That was his generation They were old West guns He liked John Wayne Okay, so anyway, back to the scene, right? I'm in tears. And I say to him, please, please, can you let this go?

We're going to work together with playing husband and wife. We're going to be touching each other tomorrow. Bizarre. I go back to L.A. and it's picked up. And my manager goes, aren't you excited? And I'm like, uh, I'm confused. And then I was fired. They got Anne Hache.

She did, they rewrote it. And she did a completely different character. and seen, and it was so much better. But the night that I got fired, I went out to dinner with my husband, and this woman comes over to me, and she says, hi, I'm Sue Nagel, the president of HBO.

And I'm like, oh, right, because I only met her on the test. So you're not really able to retain faces in that circumstance. And she said, it wasn't you. And I'm like, how did a classy lady? I didn't see her in the restaurant. That never happens.

I didn't recognize her. came up to you. That's class. And she said, the scene just didn't work. You didn't work with him. It's not you. And I can send it to you if you want to see it. So you know it's not you. Did you watch it? I said, I don't want to watch it. Oh, and at the end of the day, Alexander Payne said to me, you're the best actress I've ever worked with. And then we called him to say, my manager called him to say, well, then go to bat for her. It was your direction that got her fired. And he was like, hey, I'm out of it. I directed the pilot. I'm good. But I couldn't have done true blood. It all happens for a reason. That one did.

It does. A lot of these things have happened to me where I just like, I didn't get that. And then all these things just this didn't get picked up. And then boom, I land this. Yes. Oh, man. So that's a nice one, right? Fired.

Oh, I get true blood. Much better. Everybody loves me and I love them. You always, you play a lot of dark characters. Yeah. And it's funny hanging out with you here and knowing you, you're such like a light, you're so fun, you're so easy to talk to you. You don't seem like an evil person. But then I watch a movie like the boy behind the door. Oh, yeah, that was fun. And I was like, here's what's funny. I wasn't, I don't know for what reason, but I didn't place it. I wasn't, I was watching you, but I wasn't, it was, you were so good. I'm not guys, the boy behind the door. door. It's one of these little independent movies that's really well directed. Yeah. She's phenomenal. You were so effed up. I so effed up. And I had to look you up. Who's this? I go,

oh, it's her. Because you were so crazy. So crazy. And I was, I was just blown away. It really, gosh, if I was directing something and I was considering your agent should send a scene from that or go watch this movie you can see what she does she doesn't need to read for you right that's the kind of movie that was that performance oh i haven't seen it because i hate watching myself oh are you another one of those actors who doesn't like watching themselves have you ever watched yourself yes um well and mainly for the podcast now i'm having to watch the show like five times do you like yourself i do you know i do Pamela. I like Pam.

You know, it really is better watching it. And I've seen, there was another little movie I did, the story of Luke, was it, but an autistic kid. And I watched some scenes of that. And you see yourself when you're looping, but I really love that little movie, too. I love playing an evil character. So I love... I do too. Right, I love it, right?

Isn't it great? It's fun. It's fun. It's more interesting, especially when there's backstory, there's subtext, there's, you know, and always, I always tell people this that they ask or an actor asks me. It's like it's the easiest thing to do. Yeah. Is just act like you're bad. Right.

And that's never the thing to do. Right. It's not interesting. So true. If you play against it and the lines are good enough, it should come through. That's it. You shouldn't have to do too much. That's right.

You shouldn't have to twirl the mustache. Right. And so there's stuff where they're like, no, we want you to be bad. And like I was talking, we do a Talkville podcast about Smallville, Tom and I and Ryan. And I was just talking about one of the actresses

on an episode, she was a guest star, but she played it like, she was supposed to be the bitchy high school student. Yeah. She's like, I am popular and this. And I'm like, oh my God, why is she playing it so on the character,

caricaturist, characteristic, nose. Yeah, say that. And, you know, just like, anyway, that's, but I love it. You got to play it with, it makes it much more interesting. And you know, that's the thing with the writing, right? And then that, you know, it's sort of crazy how True Blood came together where every huge 300 people worked to make that show happen. And everyone was incredible and fabulous and fun and weird. And it comes from

the top down, right? So all of, we'd have 45 speaking roles every episode and every actor, even background players were what you just described. They just let the writing play. Yeah. And they were cast right, right? So I couldn't play all the other characters, but somehow Pam was in there, and then the writing collaborates.

Yeah, you know, one of my acting professors in college, I was doing, what was I doing? I was doing some, I was doing checkoff. I was doing something. And I was in the back for this long scene. It must have been 25 minutes. It's long, and I just go, hey, Dr. Leonard, I don't know what I'm doing here. I got nothing to say.

Right. I'm not saying anything. Do I need to be here? He goes, Michael, your character has everything to say. He just chooses not to say it. And I go, oh, yeah. Yeah, that's sort of like. But it was a good note.

It was like, oh. So he was just thinking, listening, whatever it is, it made me more interesting. Yeah. Instead of just waiting for my line or waiting for, because a lot of, Sometimes you're not listening. You're just kind of like, oh, fuck, here I am. I'm in this. I don't have anything to do. You're like, did I lock the front door? Oh, I hope I locked the front door. When are we going to have for dinner, pizza? That's true. You know, that's the perfect description of my husband, actually, because he never talks. Well, you could talk for him. I talk at him. I talk at him. I talk for him. I talk around him. I talk about him. The role, dancing at the blue lagoon. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I talk at him. I mean, I mean, I haven't seen it, but I read that you had to do, you were playing a porn star and you had to do this nude scene. Yeah. Now that, a lot of actresses would say, no, I'm not doing that.

I am not, you know, I mean, we're, you know, self-conscious. We're all these things. It was brutal. Were you very self-conscious? Did you not want to do it? Did you say, no, no, no, no? What made you do it? And how did you get comfortable playing a role like that?

Oh, that was intense. So that was in this period where I was sitcom girl and they were going extinct and I was not even allowed to like pre-read for dramas. No one would see me as anything but kind of the dingbat, dung blonde and the funny girl. And I loved playing those roles and would have happily done it the rest of my life, but they went away and I had to eat. so this came along and my manager and I thought because he had just won the Oscar for Postman he did a remake of it

I believe was it Kevin Costner movie no was it with Jessica Lang did he read what was the so he had done 90 adapted 1984 I forget his name and I forget the movie yeah look up blue iguana

and because he had this crazy reputation for being one of those directors at that time and the movie had some buzz because it was all improvised no script so you had orwell was a novel orwell's novel look up dancing at the blue iguana and see who the director was i'm on uh michael gillian michael radford michael radford okay what did he do before that oh he did do the postman in 1994 yeah was it yeah And he did 1984 in 1984, is a little on the nose. Yeah, so he adapted the Orwell's book, and it was brilliant.

And then he adapted, he redid Postman, always rings twice. So it kind of prestigious people here. He was hot at that time, right? Real prestigious English guy. And so I wanted to, and it was improvised this thing. So I wanted to show what I could do. So you had to improvise your way into this movie or out of this movie. And depending on what you did or didn't do,

you were in it or not in it. And so it was a very weird structure, but dysfunctional group, actually. It was not super fun. Sandra O. was in it, Daryl Hannah. Sandra O. and I got to work together. She's so wonderful. But I auditioned. So you had to make up a character.

So I made up a character and came in and a friend of mine helped me because we know it was in the stripper world. And he was a male stripper, a gay dude, one of my best friends. And he helped me make up this character. So I brought this character in. And, oh my God, it was in a theater. So they had all the people auditioning just sitting in the theater. Watching you.

Watching you. That sucks. It sucks. I like to be by myself with nobody. I don't want people to hear me. Yeah. I hate that. It's horrible.

And you're stuck there for three hours because each person is going down doing their thing. Right. Then I got a call back. So in our world, you do the same thing you did. You don't change your shirt. You don't change nothing. then because you want to do what you're doing something right so i go back in with the same character and they're like what are you doing here with the same character and i'm like wow you

really want me to make up another character like you can just you know like like i'm on freaking snl you know what i mean uh oh i auditioned for that too so anyway i did make up five characters for that but that was that was an interesting day wow you got to love actors we're gay man But back then did they, at a certain point, make you take off your shirt to see if, like, because they can't do that now, right? No, they can't do it now, but they did because then Michael called me and said, they said, all right, you know, Michael was there. They said, all right, you do the same character. And, but I did different stuff because it's improvised. So that's also awful and terrifying.

So then he called and said, I want to have lunch with you. So he said, look, I love you. I want to hire you. You're incredible. But I got to have Daryl Hannah because she puts butts in seats. And she's also incredible. But I had gotten there first. But, you know, her name came in.

And then I had to step aside as you do. So then I get a call that. So they've been in rehearsal for months, improvising in this crappy theater on Santa Monica. Months in a room stripping. There's a stripper pole, the whole thing. And they call me and say, it's our last day Friday. show up and bring what you got and we'll see if we can work you into the movie in a scene or two I sit there for like five hours in the hall trying to stay in my head in whatever character

then they go come on in and the other girls are all dancing and the music's on and they're pretending that they're in the oh god even worse first it was play improv games so they all know the improv warm up games I've never done improv so to me this is just stupid. Okay? So I do the stupid improv games. And then we get to while we're in the rehearsal room. And so it becomes that I come in and they all hate me.

And I'm like, okay, do they really hate me? Or are we improvving? Okay, we're improvving. So Darryl Hannah doesn't really hate me. But there was no like, hi, Kristen, nice to meet you. Welcome to our crazy crew. It was like I walk in the room and they immediately, they were living it. Like, okay, not used to that.

um so then i just went all right so then they go yeah this is nico she's going to be headlining so i'm like headlining okay so i'm the headliner so this whole thing evolves and then everyone starts taking their clothes off in this i'm i'm auditioning so i go fuck it take my clothes off in the audition in this this improvisational room yes you just took your shirt off yes and your pants yes you got naked naked and everyone else did Yes. You're nude. And they're nude with everybody. How many people are in the room? There's like all the actresses from the thing, like six actresses, the director, some other producers were all just naked, not them. And you said, fuck it. I said, fuck it.

And you did it and you weren't scared. I was petrified. I was shaking. And I was like, okay, this is the film. And I was just being crazy and brave, I guess, really more brave because this was the role. And I knew that. So, and they're all naked. So I'm like, all right, you know what?

You want to, and, and they're being. Was Daryl there? Yeah. She was naked. Naked. What? On the pole. She was crazy.

A poll. Daryl Hannah's naked going crazy on a pole. You're naked. Everybody's naked. The producers, this has to be the best day of their lives. The best day of their lives. And they might have been in like. The perverted lives.

Yes. And they might have been, I don't remember who else was like had on bottoms or someone had a top on or whatever. But we were all like. pretty much in our skivies. And then I get a call going, you're in the movie, okay? And they go, so you're playing a porn star, and there's going to be an outline. So I get the outline script, and it says, no dialogue or anything, but it was like,

Niko goes on stage to do a strip tease, and it's so incredible, no one wants to go on the stage and follow her. That's terrifying. And I'm like, no pressure. Now, these girls have been for three months. stripper school i i call and go uh what what do i do that is better than the splits which i can't do and what i saw darrell doing on the pole sheila kelly who produced and starred in the movie started you know the strippers the exercise thing s curve or something it's called yeah all around town

these housewives are are in l a on poles doing exercise classes on a stripper pole that's her her she's made probably millions she's so good she's hanging upside down but you had no classes you had no experience nothing you just got up there and winged it nothing i can't even touch my toes i'm not flexible neither can i mean and i'm like are you fucking what am i supposed to do but you did it they go well figure it out so i hire michel fifer's whip trainer from batman no joke and i go dude teach me a whip routine because i can't touch my toes i can't do pull I went to stripper school for a week and was, and it hurt my shoulder. I mean.

Have you seen the scene? Yes. And did you like it? It's so, it's so over the top. Because here's what happened. After months of working with the whip guy and I even rehearsed on the set, I show up and they've lowered the ceiling. All the lights are hanging down.

And on the day, I can't do my whip routine. Because the whip hits the ceiling. Because the whip hits the ceiling. So you had to. Scratch that. Oh, my God. If I would have known what a pan attack was, I would have known I was having one. But I could barely breathe.

I was like, I have nothing. Then they bring in all the extras. Then the room is lit brighter than an OR because on film it'll look darker. And there's a hundred people there. And I have no routine. And I'm, oh, and then I'd pick the song, Echo and the Bunnyman. Yeah. But they couldn't, they said we can't play the song because we're going to have to put it in later

in post. And I'm like, oh, my God. I can't do this. And I tried. I did one with the whip. The whip trainer goes, I'll give you a shorter whip. You can totally do it. You can totally do it.

I did one or so swing trying to keep it low and it got caught in the lights. And I'm standing there half dress going, I'm sorry, I have to start over. Hello? But you did it. So I just took all my clothes off. So the deal was that I had to show boobs and not bush. I just took everything off because I had to fill three minutes. of song, and I had no whip.

Oh, my God. And the first take was so bad. My friend, the male stripper, was there on the day to help me. He came over, and he was like, you are tanking. You're not going to be in this movie. You have to freaking own it. And he was like, gave me like, you know, like a slap, like something you'd see on some reality TV show.

And I'm like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And he's shaking me. And he's like, you got this. I'm like, I don't. You do. I do? You do. do. And then I just, I went out there and I just fucking took everything off and went nuts.

And they clapped? Yes. I bet they did. They were paid to. But they should have clapped because this is like, and I had been working out and not eating much. I'd been eating salads and working out and spray tanning. I was so nervous. Oh my God. That sounds like a panic attack if I've never heard one. That is insane. And then the one acting scene I got, Radford was in a mood. And I start the scene sleeping and um and they go action and i open my eyes he goes cut i can see you acting and i'm like what i just opened my eye i can see you're acting he's yelling at me and i'm like okay sorry i do it again i open my eyes i sit up he goes no no no no no you've got to be it try again i'm like wow and they looked at me and went welcome so this went for 17 takes 17 takes

And then he comes out and goes, forget it, get off my set, leave, goodbye. I think, I'm, in the parking lot, all the cast met me with Champagne. They were like, it's not you. But they didn't cut that scene. Then he calls me from the editing bay. And he says, you know, it's Michael. I'm like, yes, what? And he goes, you're brilliant.

It's my favorite scene in the movie, something like that. And he said, which take do you think I used? And I'm like, I don't want to play this game. The 11th, I don't know. The first. Yep. He used the first take. So God love him.

He called me and he told me that he used the first take and I was brilliant. So his way is to like scare you. This is called shit talking with Kristen Bauer. Is it Kristen Bauer von Stratton? It, you know, I just say, do you want, when we do the show, so it'd be just Kristen Bauer? Yeah, it's easier. Okay. Shit talking with Kristen Bauer.

These are my top tier patrons who got. get to ask these questions. They also get shoutouts and other things. Go to patreon.com slash inside of you to join and support the podcast. Could use your help. Here we go. This is fast, rapid fire. Kelly S. Love your acting. What inspires you? Thank you. I, the writing inspires me and working with other people. That inspire you. Yeah. Maya P. What is something people would be surprised to learn about you? I love John Wayne. Really? I'm obsessed with John Wayne.

Yeah, yeah. Christy, wow. What was Anna Pacquin like to work with? And can you get her on inside of you? Oh, she's the best, the best, the best. Would she do the podcast? I'll ask her when she says yes to true. You can tell her what fun you had, right?

Yes. You know, she is absolutely the most incredible actress, the most professional, the most brave. Talk about naked, outside, at night. 19 degrees never complains and has your back uh i remember when she won the oscar for supporting an actor for the piano yeah she's like i remember as a little girl as watching her as she was a little girl she said i just wanted to thank bainey and i wanted and she had this cute and it was so adorable and i was like oh i love this girl the little new zealander yeah michelle k did you get to keep your fangs or anything cool from true blood i did keep my fangs and

And we were going to have a fang off on the podcast because I still Lisp and Deb doesn't. And I broke them. So I have to try to fix them. I have to gorilla glue them. You can fix them. I hope so. Little Lisa, what was the last TV show you binge watched? Ted Lassow.

Really? Mm-hmm. Raj, did you have a mentor that helped guide you as you tried to pursue an acting career? My acting teachers, Jocelyn Jones, Jeffrey Tambor, and Milton Cissellis. Who do you remember growing up that was a huge influence on the woman that you've become? Who really inspired you? Who was it that gave you confidence that gave you love, unconditional love, and gave you that confidence? Well, the tears, you can see probably my dad.

Really? Yeah. Was he always the one that said, I love you. I'm so proud of you. I'll do whatever you do I'm happy with. I just want you to be happy. He was. There was a phase there where it was like, but go to college and get a job.

degree and if you don't, I'm going to hate you forever because you're a loser. So there was that phase, but then he came around and said, I can't believe I didn't trust you. Oh, that's beautiful. I know. He could just be an honest person, an honest father. Yeah. You know, just admit your flaws, admit when you're wrong. Yeah. Yeah, that's something I just never experienced. Never experienced. Yeah, and I'm sorry you didn't because life is hard enough as it is. If your parents don't, believe in you right it's rough see that's that's that's trauma with a little that's a trauma with a medium tea you know that's dysregulation from the start which i for other reasons have dysregulation from the start because there was a big loss in my family when i was a kid but what was that loss

you know i've talked about it a sister who died how young seven do you remember no i was i was basically in the womb when it happened and and um was born into a family that was trying to move forward. I just hear, everyone always says the worst thing imaginable is losing a child. It's the worst. It's the worst. I can't even imagine. Yeah, my poor mom.

Yeah. What's next besides you're doing your art? Where can people go see your art? So my website is being redone because I think if you go to Kristen Bauer art, it's literally a porn site comes up. Oh, perfect. Guys, had to. Yeah, exactly. go to christenbauer.com and look at my art there and then i'm and see what happens because either way it's

going to be fun but i go to your instagram and that you get that i'm sure they could find stuff exactly my instagram which is christend bower i i post my paintings that i'm doing now and i'm doing the podcast and i'm auditioning true as blood and you're auditioning yeah what do you want to do do you want to do a comedy next a movie do you is this really just anything that's good writing i kind of want to do I'd love it to be good writing, but my top priority is decent hours. I always say that. I don't know what happened, but once I hit 50, I'm like, I don't want to work every day 14 hours a day.

I don't want to do it. I just want to work a couple days and have my hang up with my dog and my friends and do fun things. I want to hang out with my dog and my friends and do fun things. I don't want to do it. I think that's everybody's goal. No one wants to work all the time. I'm over 50.

Me too. I don't want to work 14 hours a day plus commute. minimum I don't want to be outside all night listen to this woman I don't want to be cold or too hot I don't you know this this has been awesome I really can talk to you forever I could talk to you forever too this is really fun Ryan wasn't this great so fun it really was great we went over what is this 10 minutes over probably I never go 10 minutes over you don't very seldom probably 20% of the time wow I go over an hour 55 minutes an hour and I'm just But yeah, I could go on, but we would.

I could too. This is great. What do you live, by the way? Not your address, but what part of town? No, with Hollywood. Well, you're right around the corner. This wasn't hard for you. No, it wasn't.

All right. I love you for coming. Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be inside of you today. Thank you for allowing me to be inside of you today. That's inside of you podcast. As you know, guys, follow Kristen Bauer. She's amazing.

If you haven't seen her work, see the boy behind the door, see true blood, see once upon a time see what else should they say well fun fact i was manhands on Seinfeld that's right yeah there's a fun fact they used one of the crew guys hands for the inserts yes yes how much popularity did you get for that well a popularity and more residuals than i got from HBO like how much have you made off being on one episode of Seinfeld as manhands oh my god i wish i knew that Would you say more than $20,000? Yeah, I'm guessing. Off a guest star.

Off a guest star. Of a guest star that paid me probably $3,000 on the day. Did people shout at you, manhands! Well, yes. And it is really fun. The fun part is, once a decade, I will randomly see Jerry Seinfeld at the grocery store or something, right? Hey, Kristen.

How are you? Well, yeah. And then I think, oh, he's not going to remember, you know, a billion guest stars. And then I go, he won't know my name. So then I go, should I say I should I? And then I usually walk over to him and go, I'm manhands. It's so fun. And he goes, oh, immediately.

Immediately. Immediately. He's so friendly and lovely. How funny is that? Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Of course. Of course I remember you.

Yeah, yeah. He does. That's amazing. You know, I'm one of the few people. I haven't seen that episode, but I'm going to. I've only seen probably 10 episodes of Seinfeld. Yeah, I hadn't seen. But my brother is obsessed and most of the world is, but I want to sit down and just watch every season.

I started doing that during the pandemic because I needed to laugh. I watched Cheers that I hadn't seen. I watched Seinfeld. So brilliant. I mean, cheers is brilliant. Yeah. Last question. Favorite?

And Ryan, I'm going to ask you this favorite theme song from the 80s or 90s, TV shows. I'm trying to think of what was. I haven't seen friends. We were opposite then. I bet we've been together for a million years. I'll say Magnum. Magnum. How did it go?

I don't remember. I can't remember. I can't do it. I know. I could hear it, though. Magnum. It's also a condom. Yeah, that's right, though.

That reminds me. Is it Magnum P.I.? Yeah, the original with Tom Selleck. So I watched that whole show through during the pandemic. so the reason I don't know it's the best theme song but I do

have happy memories because I love the show I love the show I love Tom Selling What about you Ryan? I don't know any 80s television Or 90s

What about 70s? All in the family I've been watching 70s shows Rockford Files I've been MASH I can think of MASH

MASH Oh I've been watching MASH a bit. When the laugh track started. Oh, that's a great thing song. It always makes me cry for some reason. I know. When I hear that song and the helicopter coming down,

I just think of my childhood and think of my grandma's house or something. Family ties I always really liked. Cheers is a great one. Cheers is a great one. Cheers is a great one. And you remember golden girls? Oh. You remember golden girls?

Yeah, but I haven't seen it really. And by the way, listen to this one. one, you're going to laugh at me. You probably never heard of this show. Have you ever heard of Give Me a Break? No, I think so. Really? She sings the theme song. It's the one from the very first season, I believe, when she goes, give me a break, because

I'll show me one. Give me a break. Yeah, yeah. All right. I love you. Thanks for being here. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4.00. New four-piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee, and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's Taxes Extra. All right.

I hope you enjoyed that. I enjoyed that. It's good. Yeah. I enjoy it. I enjoy podcasts. I enjoy my guests, especially when they open up like that. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, that's the audition story. Oh, man. That is the craziest story ever. She just gets naked. It doesn't care. Let's go. Let's go. But, yeah, just the pressure to do just like.

And women deal with way more pressure than we deal with, way more. Hopefully things are turning around. I think they're turning around a little bit. So, you know, but good Lord, women have to go through. Geez. Thanks for listening to the podcast today. We're about to do our shoutouts to all the top tier patrons, patrons who really support this show and keep it going.

And your support is so important. And I appreciate it. Go to patreon.com slash inside of you. Remember, the new CD is out. Go to sunspin.com. Get your album, shirt, mug, calendar. I'm really excited about it. I think you're going to really dig the merch.

You're going to dig the album. And also the cons. We will be, I'll be in San Francisco this coming weekend, Friday nights, Smallville nights with Tom Welling, Saturday and Sunday signing. The following weekend in Columbus, I think it's GalaxyCon, Columbus, for Saturday and Sunday. Saturday, Smallville nights. And the following weekend,

which is like the 11th or something, Pittsburgh. I'm really excited about Pittsburgh, too. The Dawn of the Dead Mall where they shut Dawn of the Dead is right across the street. Oh, cool. Yeah, I'm a nerd. John Heeter will be there.

You know how else would be there? Paula Duel. The Griswolds? The Grizzwolds? The Chevy Chasing Co? And Beverly DeAngela? Oh. And what's the girl

who is riding in the red car? from vacation? Yeah, from Christmas vacation. Oh, no, from vacation. Yeah, the hot one, he's always looking at, slapping the bread together. I remember the scene. Yeah, she'll be there. So you can get pictures in the car with them.

But come see me, of course, too. Get pictures with me and Tom and the crew. I believe Kristen Kruk might even be there. So look on our Instagrams, Twitter, look online. But thank you for all the support. Make sure you subscribe, write a review. here are the top tiers couldn't do it without them here we go nancy d lea s sarah v little lisa ukeko jill e b b jason w sophy m rosh c josh s josh d josh d jennifer and stacey

l jemal b kimberley e mike e l don suprimo ninety nine more s s s s binda chad w lean p jane r maya p mattie s belinda n correct chris h dave a chila g brad D. Ray H. Tab of the T. Tom N. Liliana. A. Talia M. Betsy D. Chad. D. B. B. Dan N. Big Stevie W. Angel M. Rian and C. C. C. D. D. C. D. C. D. C. D. C. D. C. D. C. D. C. G. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Christine S? Yes, Sarah. Yes. Yes. Eric A, Shane, R, Emma.

Correct. Andrew M. Zoducci. 77. Oracle. Karina N. Amanda R. Amanda S. Gen B. Kevin E. Stephanie K.

Lena 82. Jarrell, Billy S. You guys, listening, I'm just, I'm telling you. You know, I hope you stick around as a Patreon. If you're enjoying the podcast, you stick around on Patreon. because we want to continue to do the show. I guess that's it, man. What a great episode.

We have a really great episode coming up next week, so don't miss it. The holidays are coming. Make sure you listen to Talkville. You can hear me and Ryan and Tom Welling and our opinions about the show. We're wrapping up the first season soon. The episodes are really fun. And I hope you're listening to that and you're subscribed and you write reviews for all that stuff too. I love your support.

I love. Thanks for all the love. And Ryan, good to see you. Good to see you, too. From the Hollywood Hills in California, I'm Michael Rosenbaum. And I'm Ryan Tails. Goodbye, everybody. See you guys.

Hey, make sure you're good to yourself. That's the most important thing. Be good to yourself. I'll see you. Hi, I'm Joe Sal C. Hi, host of the stacking Benjamin's podcast. Today, we're going to talk about what if you came across $50,000. What would you do?

Put it into a tax advantage retirement account. The mortgage. That's what we do. Make a down payment on a home. Something nice. Buying a vehicle. A separate bucket for this edition that we're adding. $50,000, I'll buy a new podcast.

You'll buy new friends. And we're done. Thanks for playing, everybody. We're out of here. Stacky Benjamin's, follow and listen on your favorite platform.