Insight with Chris Van Vliet - Carrot Top On His Legendary Comedy Career, The Power Of Consistency, The Art of Prop Comedy (Interview From November 2021)

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

Scott Thompson, better known as Carrot Top (@RealCarrotTop) is a comedian an actor who has been making people laugh for more than 30 years. He joins Chris Van Vliet inside the Blue Wire Studios at the Wynn Las Vegas in this episode that originally aired on November 12, 2021. Carrot Top talks about performing his show 6 nights a week at the Luxor Hotel and Casino, how Jay Leno and The Tonight Show helped him get his first big break, the art of prop comedy, how he has been able to achieve such longevity in show business, the best advice he has ever received and much more! If you enjoyed this episode, could I ask you to please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcast/iTunes? It takes less than a minute and makes a huge difference in helping to spread the word about the show and also to convince some hard-to-get guests. For more information about Chris Van Vliet and INSIGHT go to: https://podcast.chrisvanvliet.com Follow CVV on social media:  Instagram: instagram.com/ChrisVanVliet Twitter: twitter.com/ChrisVanVliet Facebook: facebook.com/ChrisVanVliet YouTube: youtube.com/ChrisVanVliet TikTok: tiktok.com/@Chris.VanVliet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

All systems are good. Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Van Blaine! Thank you so much for coming by. Yeah, thanks. This is a pleasure, beautiful studio. Very nice, right? I can draw a crowd. Look at that.

Oh, my gosh. There's so many people here. Hey, back off. I break the glass. How many photos, though, did you post for on the way over here? A few, yeah. Yeah, that's good. People are nice.

I mean, I stand out like a sore thumb. Well, this is a thing, like nobody else looks like you. This is true, which is a blessing and a curse. I'm screwed in a lineup, for sure. Like, there's other people you can. be like, oh, is that? I don't know. Is that this person or that person?

Yeah, I do have a distinctive, like I said, it's good and bad. Halloween, some dudes, like, that's a pretty good carrot top. If you were a little taller and a little more muscular, you'd nail it. I was like, really? You literally said that. I said, yeah, oh, ma, yeah. That's pretty good caratop. I can't.

Oh, my God. Or did they go, oh, that's a really good Kathy Griffin? Nice. Kathy Griffin. Yeah, we had a whole thing without her, which is funny. You saw it maybe. I saw, yeah. With her boobs out.

And it says, hello, boys. And so. It was a shot from behind, but you just see her hair. My hair, so they thought, well, of course you think. It was fun. Thank you so much for coming on. You were like a Vegas staple. So today is our first day of filming Insight here in Las Vegas.

Oh, good. So it makes sense to have a Vegas staple here like you. Thank you. Yeah. We've been here for many, many years. It's crazy. You've been lucky. Is it 15 years?

Well, 16 at the Luxor and then prior to that at the MGM for 10 and Ballets 1. Dude. It's been a lot of years. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. When you first got approached with the idea of doing a residency, was there any sort of... Apprehension. Yeah.

Absolutely. I was terrified and I said no, actually. Really? Yeah, I was a road guy and then we would come in and do like a, what they call now residences, which is a week or two. A residence is what I do. We do 250 shows. That's a residency. People come in and do weekends, they now call it residences.

But when I started, we'd do like about two weeks and then go on the road, come back every three or four months, do two weeks and go. So it was kind of in-and-out, residency. And they offered me the full-time gig, and I was like, no, I'm not doing that. I'm a road guy, you know. And so I took it, and then now I can't imagine not doing it. You know, there's nothing else I'd rather do than Vegas. And we are doing some road shows coming up in December, but only like five or six, you know, it's not a lot. So it's like you get to like what that appetite.

So. Yeah, you get a little, exactly. And it keeps you fresh on the road. You got to, you know, road shows a lot different than a Vegas show. Yeah. How's the audience at a Vegas show? Oh, you know, it's great. I mean, I've done this so long, so I can't, I built in an audience.

So I think I'm lucky in that regard. Sure. People that actually come to see me, whereas, you know, back in the day when I first started, they were like, you know, we can't get into Circus Soleil. We can't get into Thunder from Nond, let's go see Caratop. And so, but I still have people. I say, I've never seen my show. And it's a lot of people I've never seen the show.

So it's kind of fun to kind of, to get those new people. people, fans, you know. And when most people leave your show for the first time, and they're like, oh my God, I can't believe I've ever seen Caratop before. Yeah, well, yeah, if they haven't. I mean, yeah, a lot of people have. We do have a lot of return visitors and fans, like I said, since I'm doing it so long. But it's fun to get the new people. It is fun because you like, you can turn them, you know, they feel like they have no idea what they're in for. Yeah. And the show's a lot different than I think that what they would normally think for a stand-up show, stand-up comedies, you know, this video, this lights,

there's snow machines. There's, you know, there's so many bells and whistles that go on during the show. So it makes it fun. After all this time, what do you still get out of it? Nothing. No, I get, yeah. No, I get, I get, I get the same thing that the audience, I think, does. I mean, it's a rush.

I mean, that's what's great about live performance is that you get to feed off the energy of the crowd. So every night you get, you get that same feedback and the same kind of energy. And it's, yeah, you kind of, it's, you have to the show. It's, here's a coming down process that happens that, yeah. And it's fun, you know, every night, I get a, I get a chance to try new things. I mean, we just did a Halloween bit last night, you know, because it's Halloween, it's funny one night. But it gives me the chance to kind of play a little bit each night, too. Having a show every night, kind of have that luxury of kind of, well, I've always tried new jokes.

I never been one of those that, I just do it. If it eats it, then it eats it. sometimes you'll eat it a lot and I just keep doing it. But do you ever like believe in a joke so much that you're like, it didn't work for this crowd, but I'm going to try it tomorrow. Oh, absolutely. It's not a comic living that doesn't have that theory. I mean, you know, in your brain it's funny.

And then you do it if it doesn't do well, then you, sometimes I'll do it for months if it doesn't do well. And I'm like, I believe in this joke. So, and then some that are instantly hit. Like, I know in my heart, like, this is going to kill. I just did it. It was brand new. two nights ago was a, that 23 and me thing where you check your ancestry. So I said, I checked mine. Did you see mine? And there's a big screen like this behind me.

And it's got, it's got a chart graph and it's got Wendy's Burger King McDonald's, you know, the icons. That's my 23 me. So I'm all the, I'm all the fast food guys. They all have red hair. It's creepy. What does the genesis of a joke look like for you? Well, you know, they're all, well, there's always that, you know, if there's a core, if it's funny or not, I mean, there's a something, that you see and like that. I'm, I was just watching TV. And I thought every hamburger chain has a redhead in it.

So I just thought, yeah, why is that? I don't know. Well, someone told me that red and yellow makes you hungry. And I said, never had someone around me think I'm starving when they hang around me.

Red, but, or maybe they are. Or they're horny. They're either hungry or horny. But, um, that's what someone told me.

But, uh, yeah, the, the whole idea of any kind of joke, whether it's a stand-up joke or it's a prop. There's a,

you know, there's got to be a beginning and, and, uh, there's got to be something funny. It's got to be, I think clever in a sense. I,

you know, I try to keep the show pretty clear. The Halloween one was pretty funny. I said, can you give out candy anymore? Because the COVID, so I played it safe this year. I just gave out COVID shot.

So I had the little pumpkin with the little syringe. I hear you go, Barney, you ready for you booster. And, um, and then, so this is funny already.

It's current. It's funny. Yeah. This is brand new Halloween. COVID. And then I said, remember, if you don't feel good in about an hour or two, it's from the candy, not the shot I gave it. So it ends with a, you know, you start and then at the beginning and then there's a nice big punch on the end. Are you physically writing down these jokes?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or are you writing them in your iPhone or what is it? No, I still am old school. I write in a pad and a paper and napkins. I just had a little bit of a bite to eat for here. And I was writing things on napkins. Seriously? Yeah, yeah.

So do you just have like a pile of napkins or? Yes, I, yes. No, it's serious. people said you have an iPad right and I said no I don't I really I've never worked on a computer in my life I just do everything on scratch paper still I'm old by the way you so I don't great though thank you it's the lighting you we've we softened all the care of the yeah it does damn I look good when you got super jacked well how did this like it was like two hours ago by the you just too I mean you still are in great shame but I think that I think that for like the public

perception of you is one way yeah and then these photos shows you showed up where you were like huge. Well, some of them were altered, I think. I mean, it was as big. And people, in fact, people always still say, I thought you were bigger. I'm like, yeah, me too. But, um, how are you supposed to respond? Well, I think a lot, I know.

You're a lot better, yeah, you're a lot better looking in person than you are. And I get that, I get that at a Raiders game last time. Oh, nice. Like, you look really good in person, by the way. I'm like, oh, great. How do we look like on TV? Shit, hell. You look like crap, pretty much.

But, you know, the whole, I mean, I've always worked out and ran swam. I was a wrestler, swimming. when I was 12. And I think when I got the full-time gig at the at the luxars when I started just, I had nothing else to do all day long. So I would, I'd go to the gym and just hit the gym every day. And then I just was like,

what? And I'm big. So I just completely just stopped like cold turkey and just started running. So now I run about five miles a day. I still lift a little, but not like, not even close to, yeah. So you got to a point where you were like, I don't like the way this looks? Yeah, I was just kind of, especially on stage, it was just, It would take away from, you know, it was comedy.

You're a skinny guy with freckles and red hair and big hair is what, you know, it should be based on. And when people would see me, the first thing they'd say is, wow, you work out, then you know you work out too much. Oh. Yeah, well, that's what I thought. They wouldn't say, well, you're funny. They'd say, wow, you really work out. And so I thought, that's taking away from my. And I'm really honestly, just like a skinny guy.

I was only in that phase where I was pretty jacked up for about two years. But dude, when you look at those photos Fabulous You were jacked Yeah Some if you if you Stopped working out cold turkey Was there ever a point where you thought to yourself

Maybe I should shave my head No, there's never been I've shaved my balls But never my head Never my head Yeah no I've always loved my hair I've always loved having hair

It's like my thing It's my power Can't get rid of your hair You're like Samson Right And people say would you cut it for a movie And I said of course I would, but nowadays they can, of course, just, you know,

there's no such thing as having to shave your head for a movie. They can CGI it and they can ball cap it and whatever. Like Henry Cavill's mustache when he was Superman. Yes. Just like that. But I saw recently that Sean White was sharing a story. Yes, he was. He got rid of his hair.

He did. I told him not. I said, don't do it. He said in his thing that I told him he should cut his hair because he saw, and I said, don't. I said, that's your, keep your hair. That's your thing. But he was telling the story like, you should probably, you were saying to him, you should cut your hair because you don't want this to be your thing.

Yeah, I don't remember. I remember speaking to him a few times. Yeah. But I just said, you know, dude, you got to, you got to stay in the hair club. You can't, you know. I think I might have been kidding when I said, you still have time to not get stuck in this is right. Maybe I might have said something like that. But you know what?

It's okay. I like being, I like being, I like being, I like being this. This is good. I can imagine not having hair. So, it's good. When do you think, like, there was a point in your career with great respect for you where you were like the punchline of a lot of jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I feel like it came back around where like it wasn't funny anymore. Yeah, a friend of mine had said something kind of funny. He said to make fun of Caratopas kind of hack. Because, you know, because it used to be, it's funny, but now 36 years doing it, it's kind of like you can't really quite make that much fun of you because you've been successful 36 years, so you kind of, you know, you're finally allowed to go to the barbecue, you know. But, yeah, for many years, I think it was because when I first started out, people, you know,

I worked for years, people just, I just came on the scene and people thought that I was an overnight, you know, hit, especially doing something different with the props and they were just, they just, they just wanted to not like, well, not just, not everybody. That was what I, what I used to, what survived me through all the poking fun of days. was my mom would always have a, when I was a kid even, I'd get picked on at school for having red hair and freckles and skinny. I would say, you know, everyone's making fun of me. Who's making fun of you? I said, so, and so, I'm always, that's always been a big thing for me in my, in my life's considering the source of where it's coming from.

So, you know, the comics that are people that were making fun of me weren't people that I would really give it to rats about because they weren't, you know, like Jay Leno loved me and Bill Maher loved me and, you know, Chris Rock and, you know, Dave Chappelle, they're all. friends of my so they respected me and loved me and that was more important that they enjoyed me and appreciated my style of comedy more than you know some guy living in arkansas they just pissed off that caretops on the tonight show again right nothing i can do about it so yeah it's it's it's like with anything with any kind of art i think you just try to please the people that are your fans you know whether it's in music or sports i mean you know people hate tom brady well you know what you know a lot of people love them so you know it's it's it's always you know you're going to have haters and you're always going to have no matter what you're in.

I feel like if Tom Brady joined us right now for a conversation, you'd be like, man, it's really hard to dislike this guy. Yeah, well, Tom Brady, yeah. Yeah, of course. I mean, I think that's like that with anybody, though. There's been people that I was like, I'm not sure. And then I would meet him somewhere to party. We'd meet him in a red carpet.

And I'm like, that guy was really, really sweet. Yeah. So, yeah. I feel like nobody that's doing less than you is ever going to like make fun. And no one that's doing more than you is ever going to make fun. Right, right, right, well, sure. That's, that goes back to my, my theory on, especially, you know, at the end of the day, too, is you, you believing in your own craft. Yeah.

Like, I'm pretty, I'm pretty proud of like that Halloween joke. I mean, that's like, it's, it's, you know, it's, you can't be more current. Yeah. It's Halloween, the first year of Halloween with COVID, so I came over the clever bit. Yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of, you know, my props are like my songs in a sense. Yeah.

You know, you look back at your, what do you call, a catalog of years of props and jokes. And, you know, you sit back and go, oh, I'm pretty proud of that. You know, they can answer to you one in a couple days of that's, you know, it's current. It's new. So, um, try to keep it going, you know. And so I pride myself in that, too, they're like always writing a new joke or a new prop or or bit. You know, the show has a lot of, which is another thing I learned with just doing it for so long. My sound guy, or my lighting guy, I believe it or not, one day said to me, you know, that big screen you have behind you, I just had my logo on it, the whole show, which I used to always, you know, it was a marketing major, so that's another reason why the whole keratop and there's always a logo and people would leave the comedy club and say, who do you remember singing? And they said, well, the guy, Caratop, because it was a, it was in their head, you know. But my lighting guy says, you know, why don't you use that screen for emphasis for jokes?

And so I said, what do you mean? And he's like, you know, like I did a Michael Jackson joke. And I would have his thing. And I'd say, got your nose. And I'd grab his nose and his nose would go away. But it was like, then I started thinking, oh, no, now this is going to, you created a monster. So now the live show probably has, oh, God, 200 or more video jokes. So I don't even have to do the joke with the prop or the stand-up.

It could be both. It could be a video joke. Like the 21 of me, that's a total video joke. Yeah. And then I'll do, you know, every other, every other third joke is probably something on the big screen. So there's like a multimedia thing happening in the show. So it's kind of hard not to. You're always, it's either a boom prop or a stand-up or a song or a thing.

And so kind of all comes together. If we take this way back, who is the first person you ever made laugh? The first person I made laugh, probably my mom, maybe. my mom, she always said, you're funny. And then, of course, as it went on, I would make my friends at school. My dad had a great

sense of humor and a great timing is what I always. My dad was very, very funny in a way that was just his dry. He was very dry. He wasn't at all outgoing, loud. Like, he just would have this timing. And I used to,

when he would tell his jokes in the cul-de-sack with all our neighbors, I would go back to school the next day and try to recreate what he told and remember it. And, of course, some weren't, you know, weren't bad jokes and I get in trouble. Like, you tell the school of this joke? I'm like, but I remember my first joke that I wrote when I was a, I wouldn't say first joke, but it was one of the very first things that I came up with, I was probably 10 or 11, and we were having a campfire on the beach in Jacksonville, Florida.

And it was like 20 kids and me and I was the oldest one. And this police officers came out and they said, you can't have a fire on the beach. You got to put this out. And I said, why? We're next to two things that put fires out, water and sand. Where is a safer place to have a fire? And they just looked at me like, are you like, he turned me funny?

And I'm like, well, I'm not. But all my friends are like, that's pretty clever. Like, you're right. Like, where else? What are you want to take in the woods? We just know where to put a fire out. This was on the beach. Water and sand.

There's nothing that could possibly go wrong. Right. And so I started thinking. of those kind of observational jokes and in a sense of joke, storytelling. And that's what I always admired comics that had that kind of material

where you're, it's like, when you watch a show, you're like, oh, my God, that happened to me. Or oh, my God, I see that too. So observational things. Yeah. You know, Gallagher was always great about that. He'd have jokes like, you know, what do they call it a parkway?

What do they call it parkway? When you park on the driveway, and you park on the building, and they should be called built. And he had all these, all these really great like uh smart stuff and then i wrote it i wrote him one uh it was a it was probably 14 and it was here in vegas actually and we were going to he was performing and there was a big door a big like a backstage door and it said this door must remain closed at all times

and he was banging on it trying to get into to do the show and i said why why is there even a door if it's supposed to remain closed at all times why have a door there and he looked at me he says that's a great joke. Is that yours? I said, well, I just wrote it. I just thought of it. But so that's always kind of like the process of how I try to do, where it's a little clever. It's a little, most of the stuff. I mean, there's other stuff that takes a different path. But, yeah, always it's funny. Funny is funny. It's good. But there's also a lot of yours. I think everyone thinks that you're just a prop comment. Right. And then they come to your show and they go, oh, my gosh.

There's a lot of stand-up. Yeah. There's more than there ever has been right now. Yeah. Is there always, is there one guy in the back who's like, bring out a prop. No, I don't think so, because there's enough of that going on.

I mean, there's still props, but no, I think I think, I'll find out, but I think I've got it all kind of, um, laid out where there's props and there's stand up.

There's some props and there's some standup. And then there's this, there's that. And then there's music at the end and people hopefully have fun. I think it takes a lot of balls to get on stage for the first time. Oh, yeah. So when you went, like, how did you convince yourself? I'm funny enough that I'm going to be able to get up in front of a room of people

and I'm going to make them laugh at my stories. I really don't know. I mean, it's been that long. I remember the day I did. It was in my college and I went to the dorm or the rat scale it was called. It was like a bar where we had lunch and whatever. And they had an open mic night. And I didn't know what that wasn't.

My neighbors, my roommates came back with this flyer and said, hey, we should go to this. And my roommate said, go to it. You should be in it. And I was like, be in it. What am I going to, I don't know how to, what am I going to sing? What am I going to, I don't play an instrument. I'm going to tell poetry.

He's no, tell jokes. And I was like, I don't have, I don't have, you see all the jokes you tell us. Go up and so I said, oh, I could just go up and tell, like my dad did, old jokes. Yeah. So I just went up and I said, these are my, you know, the guy walks in a bar, a rooster and a hand, whatever that jokes were. and it did great. I felt comfortable up there doing it.

And then the next year, every semester or whatever, they'd have another one. And so I kept getting into it. And like the third time, I thought, you know, I should probably write my own jokes for this instead of do old jokes. So I might have done a few and then ended on an old joke just so I had an ending. And so that's what I did. I made fun of the school and I made fun of the parking and I made fun of one of our teachers. That was, everyone knew, joke about books. books, everything that we had to in college and killed.

And then I went to the local comedy club and they had an open mic there. So I went and I auditioned and the lady was like, you were funny, but I don't think, why you're talking about college, I don't think, you know, this is a diverse crowd. We're not going to, I don't think your college jokes are going to, like talking about parking at your college is not going to get a, and she had a good point, though, right? Sure. Yeah. So I said, I got to, you know, you're on.

You have to widen your, your audience and what you're going to talk about. And so that's when the props came in. I had a neighborhood crime watch sign that I'd stolen. It was on my dorm. And I was in my dorm room. And I was, I actually had drawn a logo. I already had Carrot Top logo drawn. And my roommate said, what's that?

It says, my logo. He said, oh, is that for one of your classes? That's a good logo. I said, no, it's from when I'm a comedian. He said, what? I said, yeah, I already have the logo. The heart part's done. I mean, now he's got to write an act.

I got the logo. Yeah, that's the hard. Yeah, I mean, the heart part's the logo. So I told Oprah this. She literally was some, she said, I had a logo before I had an act, which was true. But then I thought the crime watch sign would might be a funny opening. So I walked in stage and I said, sorry, I'm late. I was in the neighborhood and it killed.

And I said, how good is there a crime watch? You're not watching your signs. I mean, the house takes 20 seconds to break into. It took me three days to get this sign. So it was the first prop. And then it was really good. And then the lady said, could you do more of that? And I said, what, steal more signs?

She goes, yeah, and I said, okay, I can steal more signs. So I started going around town stealing more signs. And I came up with like 10 different signs. And that was my whole, it was almost like a slideshow. One was Butts Road. It was right through the town I live. And I said, this is where all the assholes live. And it killed.

And so then she's like, this is great. And that's how the props came in. Her name's Colin McGar. And then I started coming up with like, you know, a boot with a kickstand for Redneck's still and fall down when they're drunk. And I had an ice tray with a level on it. And I just started coming up with all these. props. I had like a whole, and the more props that I could come up with and, you know, the more time I could do. And so,

uh, the key was to kind of get, you know, all good in there and not have, you know, like four good ones and stuff and crappy ones. So it took a long time to get, you know, a solid enough time where I could open up for, for, you know, for other comics. And then that's what I started doing other opening for like comics and bands. And then I, yeah, Brooks and done and whatnot. So, but you knew pretty early on that she were going to do this for a living. Well, I wanted to do when I was, when I was a kid, I definitely thought, like, even on the beach, but I didn't think there was such thing as just, I'm going to be a comic. Yeah, I'm just going to tell jokes for a day.

Yeah, I mean, you know, and my parents even were like, you're doing what? And I'm a comedian. They're like, you're not funny. I'm like, I know, but you got to come see the show. And my dad came down to the college and was like, where did this come? Because I'm really kind of shy and quiet. And I'll suddenly hit the stage. It's a whole different kind of, you know, it's, it's, it's manic.

But he was like, that's, that you're really good. You know, you wrote all this stuff yourself. And I said, yeah. So then I had, you know, I just had hundreds of hundreds of thousands now of different props. Some, of course, have been retired to the warehouse. You know, there's shelf lives to props, you know. Sure. You can't be telling a Bill Clinton.

I had some great Bill Clinton jokes. I remember seeing that. The podium with the podium with the Monaco, it came up. Not now. It was great. And that was one of my favorite tonight shows because the lady that was in charge of standards and practices said, you know, you can't put your hand, physically put your hand on a woman, like force her down, you know. Sure. And I said, well, there's no joke then.

I mean, the joke is she pops up. He's like, I did not have not knit. And it would kill, right? So he says, you can't use your hand. And this is the last joke on the tonight show. I'm killing. And I get to that joke. And I'm thinking, what do I do?

So I didn't, I used my elbow and not my hand. And they yelled at your hand. I said, you said, don't use your hand. She said, I said, don't physically put her. I said, well, anyway. And it killed. And I got out of there alive. But I got in trouble.

Was the Tonight Show and Jay Leno what really brought you to that next level with your career? Well, he gave me a lot of opportunity. I mean, he was very, very, very. You were on the show. How many times? Oh, 30 something. Yeah. I mean, I was always, they love me there and I love them.

they were they in fact i didn't have to i would just call them and say i have a spot i have a set and this is back when people watch tv right a lot more no i mean little you could probably if a young comic now could do the tonight show 75 times and they're not going to know you are um but and i got lucky at the end of that bubble i mean prior to that prior to when i was doing all those shows you know rages and tonight shows and whatever there was still um a lot of a lot of people watching those shows whereas now it i don't even know i don't i haven't i don't even watch television anymore. I don't. I haven't seen the tonight show or literally. Oh, it's changed so much. I just don't, I don't, I don't, I don't tune in much in, but,

have you been on it at all since Jimmy Fallon's on there? No. Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, all of them. Of course. They're all comedians. Jimmy Kimmel. We're all friends. All comedians seem to know each other. Yeah, I mean, there's a small, is a small, yeah, I mean, it's a fraternity for sure. And, and usually a lot of times, is because of, especially back when I lived in L.A., you know, that's where you, everyone knew everybody from. Yeah, they can hear us out there, by the way. I like it. I'm getting a little thigh act.

You are definitely are. Okay. And this is in the middle of the day. All right. Wow. What happened if we were recording at night? We should meet back here in a couple hours. I guess so.

After your show. Yeah, my show. But it's usually a guy. Thank God it was a woman. It's a guy. don't want me as boobs. Okay, Bill. But, uh, oh, by going back to that, so there's a camarader because in the clubs,

the club scene, they knew this is, it one night that could be, you know, 75 to 100 comics and at the comic strip or the comedy, you know, the improv. And so everyone knows everybody. You know, it's definitely like a little fraternity. Yeah. Um, in fact, just of the day, someone was asking me about, you know, new up-and-coming comers. And I'm like, I don't, I don't, I'm not the scene anymore. like I have my show in Vegas, so I go into the show and I go home, and then I don't, I don't, like, I used to go to the comedy club, sit in the back and watch all these new, you know, newcomers, new comics and just be, wow, these guys are really good, you know, they, they did the craft, watching young, I love watching, of course, I'm like some, a young comic that's funny and new and on the scene.

I'm trying to find one that I could mentor, you know, there's no, there's no more prop comics. I think I'm the last dying breed of a prop comic. Oh, look, yeah, see, right. Now I'm going on the ground. Everybody loves Caratop. There needs to be the next Caratop. I know. I say that all the time.

There's no pro. There's no new paratop on the scene that I know. That's because you've mastered the other. Is that what it is? Yeah. Come on. Come on. How could somebody possibly top what you've done?

I don't even mean to do that with Top. It would be fun to see. It would be fun to see somebody. But the style of props, too, is different. So I never went the pun route. I never said everything has kind of a has kind of an underlining cleverness to it as opposed to a play on words like

one of my favorite props George Carlin came up to me and said that's funny was a paper cups and string phone you know the kids have the cups yeah yeah so I said this is about 20 years ago I said they should make a new version of this

the cups and string for nowadays for an hour you know for two thousand whatever was and it was a second cup that came out of for call waiting and then another cup for conference calling and it was a clear cut for caller ID. And it was really, it was like my closing bit forever and ever, he killed, killed.

And George Cron was like, that's funny shit, man. And I know, I think he's like, that's fucking clever. So it's always like that. I always try to make something. I mean, it's easily has to have a little bit of a cleverness to the prop as as opposed to saying, and it's a shoehorn or it's a, I don't do the, the seesaw. Yeah, see, that is, yeah.

I was very, okay, so I thought that, the family guy thing. They called me up and they said, you want to be on the, the family we had this thing and we're gonna do you want to do the voice for it i said well why would you have someone else do my voice i said let me let me be me yeah so they sent me the script and i remember going into a studio here in Vegas and i i just i was so um just it i hated it and so they get on the phone with me and he's like thanks for doing it and i said i can we do another line i don't the seesaw is really just not my that's not my it's not my thing and he's like they all you can hear like literally a whole

whole room full of people like what do you mean your thing i'm like and you're telling this to step macfarlane oh yeah septic farland everybody there's like 10 of the people they're on the on the on the thing and i said well can we just do like one of my props like even the cups and string phone thing and he's like okay but this is really good everyone loves it i said i know but it's like it's a pun it's seesaw it's like that's like that's like legendary whid stuff it's not let me do one of my props yeah that you know and he said but i think you know one we already made the animation and two so I'm fucked and then and then the

second thing was it was uh you know they really wanted it they said this is that's what what's what makes it funny is it's so stupid I said okay well let's just do it so we did it and then I went back to LA and we we redid it again and it with him in the studio and um

they were so jazzed about it like he's like trust me this is it's not making look like an idiot it's gonna be and it was great people loved it people still walk us me and see so So, but I was, I was definitely not digging it at the time. I was like, let me do something. When George Carlin tells you that that's a great joke, how could you possibly ever take that out of your act?

Yeah, well, no, you'd actually, I should put it back in. It's been out for a while. I mean, when George Carlin says it's good, it's good. Yeah, that's true. Right. And those are the going back digressing to the beginning of the interview about people when they, but so make funny, it's like, you know, George Carlin thought it was funny. so I really don't care if Jimbo from Arkansas thinks I saw. Seriously.

I mean, you know, so. Who inspires you still? Who inspires you now? What to do, in the field and the profession? Everybody. I mean, you know, longevity is one of those things I find because people every day. I mean, literally every day will say to me, how long are you going to do this? And I always think, well, I'm young and they go, but how long do you think?

And I'm like, you know, tomorrow is probably it. And they're like, really? I'm like, no, I don't have a, I still have five years left on my, on my deal here. Which is amazing, by the way. What a deal. But I don't look at it like, I don't even, I don't even, I don't feel like I'm, I don't feel like I'm even near retirement age. I don't know what I would do. This is all I know how to do.

I could do this or guess people's way at the fair probably. That's all I could do. I guess what a great job. That is, right? You go 190 and they go two. Okay, next one, 65, no, great day today. Good. work but yeah I don't I don't have any I desire to you know and I think the answer to that

question is you know when are you going to do this is everyone knows the answer to that it's when you're no longer enjoying it and no one else is enjoying it if so if no one's showing up anymore and you're not digging it it's probably time to you know but we're lucky in that regard because I've been watching all this I've been really into this Formula One racing which I found out by accident on Netflix which it's a special I started watching it never I mean, I remember it's a kid watching, you know, Jockey Stead and all this, but I never really dug it and got into it. It was on a NASCAR, you know, and then all of a sudden I've been watching this thing. And I'm looking at like the longevity of something like that.

I'm lucky and blessed that in comedy, you know, I might lose some of my senses of things and timing and memory, but not like in that where there's such a short period of time where they can be the best driver at 200 miles an hour and have the reflexes. There's a day where they, there's a day where they just, they just, you know, I lost it in turn two and I don't know. I can't, you know, I have to retire. It's in the football, but, you know, the sports ones. Oh, yeah, like when someone's age begins with a three in baseball. Yeah, you're, oh, like, you said Tom Brady or 42, like, geez, Christ, he'd be napping at halftime, but, but yeah, we're lucky in comedy in that sense.

But there is, you know, I look at some of my idols in comedy that, that have gone on until a week before they, you know, like Don Rickles was performing up until the very, very end. I mean, and had his wits. I was in a movie with him. I was very lucky to be in a movie with him, Dennis the Menace. And I was in LA. It's just not too long before he passed away. And I was at my agent.

My agent says, you got to go say how to Don Rickles. And I was, where's Don? I looked over and he's sitting right there. And I said, well, you should come. Because he's his agent, too. I said, you should go. He said, no, this isn't an agent thing. You could go over and say hi to him, and you should.

And I said, well, of course I should and I will. So I got up and I walked over and he was a whole bunch of people. It was like 20 people as people. He's at the head of the table. And he was just staring at his potatoes or whatever. And I walked up next to him and I said, Don, I said, hey, Caratot. I don't want to bother you. Carrotop.

And he's so, he's like 90-something. And I said, hey, I don't want to bother you. Just want to say hi. He says, really? You're Carrotup? Like, I couldn't see you coming from Ventura Highway. And I said, I don't want to bother you. He's not want to bother me.

That's a little late, isn't it? And I said, oh, well, I'll leave you alone. Will you? And I said, yeah. And I said, I just want to know if you remember working with me in a movie. And he said, I've tried to forget everything you and I've ever done together. And it happened so fast. It was the most beautiful, just ripped.

And then he gave me a big hug and did, you know, my cheeks. How my, how's my name is still a hat in Vegas? I said, of course you are. My name's still big. I said, you're, you are, you are, come on, you're Don Rickles. You're the best thing. But that was right up in like, maybe three weeks after that he had passed. So he was still doing his schick and still performing.

And so I think of that, you know, when I, when people ask me, how long I'm going to do this. I'm like, well, I hope I can, I can go until, you know, I can go until I don't want to go. Yeah. I just don't know. I watch these shows and I always think, what do people do when they retire? Well, you're still really passionate about this. Right. And you can tell that when you're on.

stage. But when I watch other people when they retire in certain things when they're like that's what I'll go back to Formula One or or sports or whatnot. I'm like how what must be going through their brain because they're still young. Let's say like a Peyton Manning. He's still young, but he can't play the game anymore. Does he lose half of his his his self being his thing? What's his identity? Right. Like he would go to the stadium every day. That's what he did. You'd filmed and he would and then on Sunday he was everyone's cheering so I think I get scared to death when I think I don't like just when I I step off the stage and I just say that's my last show I'm going to go sit on my boat in Florida yeah it scares me to think that there'll be a day where I

wouldn't be on stage I don't know what else I would I don't I need that yeah well when the difference between you and Peyton Manning is they know they know they can only play till their 30 or late 30s early 40s but I think it probably sneaks up on them as well where they just realize oh crap And that's their entire identity. Right. It's what I mean. We only see them in their, if we're going to use football as an example, in their NFL career, but they've been playing football since they were like four.

That's what I mean. It's their whole thing. You know, Jeff Gordon is a friend of mine. So let's say Jeff Gordon. He started when he was same. Four year, five years in go cards. And then he becomes maybe one of the biggest NASCAR drivers in the world. And that last race, I remember watching it.

And I remember thinking, what's going through his brain? He's still young. He's sitting there with his wife and he's looking. He's like, this is the last time I'm going to climb it in a car. and be cheered on and it's just and then then they move up to the urban you know earnhard they move up into the booth and maybe they maybe they they are content they're still in the sport in some capacity but they must miss getting behind the wheel and that oh my god and you know i mean like that where you know me i have a show tonight so i look forward

to that that that getting miced up and the music going and the crowds there and jazzed and trying a new joke yeah what's your ritual before you step on stage lots of you have Lots of drugs. Free basing and, you know, no, I, I do, I, it's not, there's the mound of cocaine. There's not, it's not really, interestingly enough, there's not a lot of, I mean, some shows are different, like road shows or TV shows. There's a different mindset. The Vegas show I do every night. So there's the ritual basically is I get there early.

I never been there. I always at the show two hours early because just you've got to get into the, boom, get the music going, get sound check. rehearse maybe a new joke. And then you have a meet and greet and then you have a, yeah, you do a little shot of espresso and a little shot of crown. And cheers the, our mile crew come together. We kind of say, all right, let's don't lock this up. And just do the best we can, yeah.

I see people, they get so excited when they meet you. And I think when people are in Vegas and they get to see a celebrity, they're like, oh, my God. So who was the last person? than that you were super excited to me. Oh, wow. Well, there's a lot. I'm like a little child.

I'm always star-struck. People like, you've met everybody. I know, but it's still, you know, it's still, there's moments we're just like, okay, that's cool. Like we had, Queen came to the show. Now, that's pretty cool. So my buddy and I were talking about last night, you know, we're sitting there and they said, you know, Queens, you know, they're bringing Queen backstage.

And they have, you know, security. And then all of a sudden, you can, you can smell them from. from like down the hallway. That's royalty. Did they smell pleasant? Yeah, they smell beyond, they smell like rock stars.

They have the, you know, the velvet jack and the thing, and they're just, they're quaffed perfectly and they're like English and like, Scott, that's a great show.

And you're just like, holy shit, I'm talking to queen. And they are blown away. They're like, how did you do? That's amazing. It's so good.

I'm like, you do know your queen, right? Like, you are queen. But they're so humble and they were so great. But yeah, I mean, I met a lot of people, but that was a moment of pretty coolness.

I think one, I was in, well, I don't think it was happening. I was in Aspen, and I had gone, I'd gone to the gym, and I was coming back from the gym, and I was, there was no one out. It was like, it was like 7.30 in the morning or something. I had gone to the gym, and then I was going to go snowboarding. With Sean White. With Sean White. Yeah. And, and I'm crossing the street.

It's kind of foggy out, and I'm looking. and the night prior people said, you know, Jack Nicholson lives in Aspen and he's in town and da-da. So I'm looking across the street and literally I think that's Jack Nicholson. And so we start walking towards each other and he says, top. And I said, Jack. And he said, and everyone was saying he's not a nice guy. Like at that dinner then, I thought, as you see him, you know. And he's like, top or topper.

And I said, Jack, and he says, Jesus Christ, what are you doing? I said, Jim, he says, you're not having, wait, you just came from the gym? And I said, yeah, you're not sweating. And I said, I just walked from my front door right there, and he was, he was, he was, sweating. He's like, I'm completely covered in sweat.

And you just came from the gym and you don't have any sweat. I said, well, he goes, that's because you're, you kept saying, that's because you're young. And I said, no, he said, I'm fucking old, top. He kept saying it, right? I'm fucking old. I said, you're not old. And he goes, no, I'm fucking old.

and he says, you tell that Jay Leno to go fuck himself. And I said, wait, wait, why, Jay's great to me

like as we talking about. Jay's one of the best people in the world to me. And he says, I don't like the way he talks to you. You do your thing and you're, and he knew my act. He's like,

you do your thing and the ice tray, whatever the fuck. And then he, and then you come sit down and he goes to commercial break. He doesn't talk to you. That's bullshit. And I said,

no, he's actually a really good guy. He says, well, you tell him to go, fuck him. So we had this really, really,

awesome conversation in the middle of Aspen, this middle of the street. And then that was prior to having cell phones. I was trying to call my friend, like, I just talked to Jack Nicholson for like 20 minutes in the middle of the street. So that was kind of cool. That's very cool. Yeah, it was cool. That was kind of fun. What's the best advice you have for someone who's trying to be a comedian, especially in this, it's not easy to, it wasn't easy to get on a stage of the last year. Well, that's true. That would be the most challenging thing in the world. It'd be a a young comic last year. Unless they do a lot of these Zoom things, which I mean, I guess people take it over you know i would say the device that i would give a young comic is is the

time on stage you have to find as much time as you can to to to home what it is you're going to be talking about when they call your name and on an actual stage not in front of mom and grandma no i on actual stage in front of strangers that right that do not like you um and you hit the stage and they're like already judging you and you've got to be not only funny but you got to be on it but you got to you got to know what you're going to do for that, whether it's five minutes or ten minutes, what it is? And so I think, you know, a lot of people say, I'm going to be a comedian. I always like, okay, what's going to be your thing? What do you mean? I'm going to be famous. I'm like, well, you don't just become famous. What's your craft? Are you going to do political humor?

Are you going to do observational? Are you going to do props? You're going to do music. You know, dance. You're going to juggle, magic. So it's important to figure out what it is that your, your schick's going to be. And I was kind of lucky in the fact that I rolled right into what I did. I wasn't originally a prop guy. I just was telling jokes. And then all of a sudden I realized, I think I've got something with the visuals, and I just started

making it that my thing. Not that it was easier, but it helped that I had, I had what I wanted to do in my head. I was going to be the prop guy. And so I just started, you know, doing that and honing it. So I got to say, no, trust me, I had a lot

of shows that I didn't do so well that's part of being a comic. or part of being anybody. Sure. I don't care what job you are with your mechanic or you're a rock star or a rock assigned. You're going to have bad days and bad shows

and bad days at work. So I think a key thing there you said was is you're going to get judged. Like from the second you walk on stage, people are already in seconds. They judge me even now. They're already looking like, oh, he looks like he's lost weight.

Oh, his hair. Different guy's like green hair. You know, they're already, they're already making thousands of, of assumptions. in their own brain, whether they're, if they're new,

whether they're even going to like me right away, they might not like my voice, they might not, boy, I looked at them, why is he, you know,

because they're not to have these shoes in the stage and that, all they kept, all they kept talking about was my stupid shoes though, right? So it's like, I like,

you're Balenciagas. And I was like, what's that? And she's like, you're Blentziagas. And I said, okay, you're a definitely shoe guy

because no one knows that Balenciagas are. There's a brand, but she goes, I like, I like, I like him. I finally said,

okay, are we going to talk about my fucking shoes the whole time? I mean, I have other things playing than just walking around on my shoes. So it was kind of,

kind of got old after a while and I finally, I just took my shoe off. And I said, let's just pass the goddamn thing around and everybody can hear. And they look at it. It's a great shoe.

It is a great shoe. Yeah. They are, I'm not going to lie. It's bedazzled too. Yeah. I don't know. I didn't mess around.

You bedazzled it? Or it came like that. No, I have a friend that did the, I usually do mine, but these were so, these were so expensive. I didn't want to mess them up. So I told my guy that's a,

you got a bedazzle guy. I have a professional bedazzler guy that did him for me. But I normally do them myself if they're just crap shoes, but these were, these were a little pricey. So I said, I don't mess these things up. I didn't have been done right. I think the best thing about you,

especially with you taking off your shoe and showing us your bedazzled shoe, is that you. I'll make my pants off too. I don't care. I mean, that's up to you. At least the shot ends right here. The thing I love about you is you embrace who, who you are and you don't seem to care what other people think about you.

That I never have. That goes back to being a kid because I got picked on all the time and I used to say, you know what? I don't honestly, yeah, no. I dress like I do our makeup. I paint my nails. I mean, I do everything, but I don't do it for anybody else. I do me like, why are your nails painting?

I'm like, I like to pay my nails. Why am I? Because it's, it's. They're not painted right now? No, they're not now, but usually they are. But I'm saying like I just, I don't, I don't even think about it. Just that's part of my, you know, that's part of my thing. I don't, I don't, yeah, I definitely don't care.

I really don't care. And people always, you know, that comes with the job too. I just, that is a difficult quality for people to learn. Oh, to be yourself at anything? Yeah, yeah, I definitely have embraced being who I, like, yeah, I don't hide. I just be my, I have my crazy self, but I just do it to be my crazy self. I don't try to be crazy, you know, to be like, I get away with it because because I'm probably who I am. Yeah, I love it.

They expect me to have, you know, you're like, why do you not have, why do you not have some shit in your hair? Why do you not have painted nails? Why do you, you know, why don't you? Yeah. So. But I can, I can feel this. Like, in our conversation here, I feel your energy because it's so authentic. Feeling yours, too. This is getting creepy. Okay. And your pants are. Yeah, I believe that, you know, I just did a thing the day. They're like ESPN. They're like, you look like Stephen Tyler.

And I'm like, I do look like Stephen Tyler. Oh, yeah. But I got, that was one of those guys. That's one of those guys that, uh, I remember, well, I've known now friends, but, but I was walking through the airport in, it was either Los Angeles or Las Vegas. It was a flight to one of the two. And I was walking through the airport and I look up and I see this guy that literally looks like Stephen Tyler, but I mean, like, not just

looks like him, like he's in a video, music video and he's got scarfs and things and shit. And, you know, it's like, it's Stephen Tyler. And I'm like, dude, and everyone's I go, Stephen, he was a character. And I said, are you shooting a video? And he goes, no. And I was like, that's so awesome that you just walk

through the airport like that. Like, you think that's like just a stage thing. Yeah. That's how he walks through bonds, you know, and CVS, like that's just, and that's what I never forgot that. I said, that's, I want to be that guy. I, you know, what I were, how I were on stage is how I go off stage. I don't turn into care top.

I just, I just, you know, but I always loved that. I was dug the fact that he was walking through Walgreens like Stephen Tyler. He said, well, I am Stephen Tyler. So it's not a, it's not a facade. That's really him on stage. Like, he's a nut. Yeah. I want to be super respectful of your time because you've got your show tonight,

but this has been great. Yeah, thanks. This has been fun. Yeah, I love, I love being able to talk about this kind of stuff. Yeah, me too. You don't get a chance to talk about your career much, you know. What's the, so I end every interview with the same question because I start and end every day saying out loud three things that I'm grateful for. So what are three things in your life right now that you're grateful for? Well, definitely grateful for my health. I'm lucky that I have my health because that's the most important thing in the world. My hair, definitely have them lucky I have hair. I have my health. Health and your hair.

And I've got family. You know, my health. My family lives here in Las Vegas, so I get to see my family. I got my little dog that goes to work every night with me. It's my little princess. She comes to every show. What's her name? Buber. She comes to the show every night.

She's 17, so she's still runs up to the stage every night for sound check. And I'm grateful definitely for the longevity of my career. I mean, like I said, we've talked about. it's amazing to have people, fans that let me do this this many years, you know. Because you don't think about it until people ask, you know, like this, in my 16th year, come up just at the Luxor. People are like, what? And I'm like, yeah, well, I started in 1985, so it's like 35 years, total.

So you think about that a lot more as you get older. Like, I remember being in my dorm room, literally drawing that logo. Like it was yesterday, it was 1985. Wow. You know, and going up on stage that night and doing, I think I ended the, I think I ended the show. I took my shirt off and I played the Rocky music and I drank an egg. And it had made no sense.

I just said, we got to leave this on something fun. So hit it. I had to hit the cassette thing. I didn't have anybody play it. I had done, dun, dun, dun, dun, done, and I just, an egg, and I, I, I, I'd swallow the egg. Well, I remember I drank it, and everybody went, what? And then I'm going, what are you crazy? And then I walked off with, like, you know, yeah, with, oh, I had oil, I had, I had the shirt off, rubbed oil.

Because it was right when Rocky came out. So it made sense now, I'm thinking about it. But it was like, what? And it killed. And then that, and then forever. not ever, but for a while, that would, that would be my ending. I would do the rocky thing. And then it ended up becoming a bit of my show.

I'd bring up somebody, this is way later, I would invite somebody up from the audience. And I would say, who wants to drink a beer with me or challenge you, slam a beer? And there's always a thousand people that want to do that. So I'd bring some guy up, and I'd give him his beer, and I say, we're going to do an egg. We're going to slam an egg together. And then we'll drink, we'll slam the beer. And it used to be, don't, don't, don't do anything, because it was in my actress. along, but I couldn't do the, take the shirt off.

So I just did the, go through the egg, looked each other in the eyes. It was like, just go, boom. Every time I'd do it, they would do it, but then they would, they were like, like, you could see them just like, and then I'd spit it out, and they'd swallow theirs. Like, you, what? You know, you cheated me. So one time in Iowa, I was doing, oh, God, it was like a 3,000-seat, like, venue. It was Valentine's Day.

And I said, who wants to slam a beer with me? and this guy comes up. We do the whole thing. Boom, he drinks the beer. And right as he, right as he slam the egg, I see his face instantly turn white,

like something bad. White, green, blue. Yeah. And all of a sudden, he projectile. I mean, I'm talking all over me, all over my rug,

right? Oh. The bucket that I had for our beers. And I'm like, it's Valentine's Day, right? I mean, dude. So 3,000 people,

probably 100 people started throwing. up. Oh my God. Chain reaction. Yeah. And you're, oh, no. And I said, you're just, now no one's going to get laid tonight. I'm a doubt in his day. Nobody, including myself. I was covered in his vomit. And I had to finish an hour, like an hour left of the show and they covered in his vomit. So I think the egg bit went away after that. Yeah, I would guess so. I am the egg man. This has been such a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you so much. Likewise. Thank you for, for having me in. You have a nice staff here. Everyone's great here. And if anybody that's listening to this or watching this is in Vegas,

yeah, I'm going. Carried not with the Luxor. Yeah, I'm going. Pretty much every day. Yeah, every day, but Sundays, yeah. Yeah, amazing. Thank you so much. You got, thanks.

Appreciate it. Thank you. The Hammer Alley podcast, an 80s flashback mockumentary. Back in the 80s, there were a thousand bands trying to make it in the world of rock, but there was one band that had it all. Hammer Alley. Whatever happened to Hammer Alley? How did they go from top of the rock?

I'm looking for a music video. Band from 1987, Hammer Alley. Ever heard of then? To Rock Bottom. Dude, I was born in 1987. I can't believe he's doing this. Hammer Alley. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.