Insight with Chris Van Vliet - Eva Marie On Getting Booed, Wardrobe Malfunction, Total Divas, WWE Return

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

Eva Marie (@natalieevamarie) is a professional wrestler and podcaster best known for her time in WWE. She sits down with Chris Van Vliet in Orange County, CA to discuss how she was fast-tracked to the main roster after signing her contract and the resulting backlash, being on Total Divas and how much of the resentment was real, her signature red hair, why her 2 runs with WWE came to an end, helping others battling with addiction, and more! Subscribe to the Hopeaholics Podcast here. Please support our sponsors: HELIX SLEEP: Flash sale! Go to https://helixsleep.com/cvv for 27% off sitewide! BEAM: Go to https://shopbeam.com/INSIGHT and use code INSIGHT for up to 40% off Beam’s Dream Powder DELETEME: Use the code INSIGHT to get 20% off your DeleteMe plan at https://joindeleteme.com/INSIGHT  FACTOR: Get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year with the code INSIGHT50OFF at https://factormeals.com/INSIGHT50OFF  PURE PLANK: The future of core fitness! Use the code CVV to save 10% on Pure Plank designed by Adam Copeland & Christian: https://gopureplank.com/cvv SEAT GEEK: Use my code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/CVV Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discount NORDVPN: Exclusive deal! https://nordvpn.com/cvv Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! PRIZEPICKS: Download the PrizePicks app today and use code INSIGHT to get $50 bonus credit in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup! For more information about Chris and INSIGHT go to: https://chrisvanvliet.com If you have ever enjoyed any of these episodes, could I ask you to please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcast or Spotify? It takes less than a minute and makes a huge difference in helping to spread the word about the show and also to convince some hard-to-get guests.  Follow CVV on social media: Instagram: instagram.com/ChrisVanVliet Twitter: twitter.com/ChrisVanVliet Facebook: facebook.com/ChrisVanVliet YouTube: youtube.com/ChrisVanVliet TikTok: tiktok.com/@Chris.VanVliet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thank you for having me here. Oh my gosh, thank you for coming. You've got a great podcast set up here. I was just a guest on your podcast. Yeah, I know. I'm excited. I'm excited to have you on mine. I've been, I have put it out into the world for years to have you on my podcast.

So it's finally happening now. I love that. It makes me feel extra special. You really don't do a lot of podcasts. I really don't. I don't know why that is. It's not that I'm like anti-podcast or anything like that. I just don't know, actually.

Well, when you were on Darius podcast, Sonya DeVille's podcast, I was like, do you think a message you? I said, do you think you could do you give you a good word for me? And she did. She's like, I'll put you in a group chat right now. You're like, oh shit. 30 seconds later, you were like, yeah, I'll do your podcast.

So here we are. How's everything with you? Amazing. Never been better. What keeps you busy these days? I mean, one, we're sitting in the studio. So, I mean, we just had you as a guest on the Hopoholics podcast. So I think that really has totally, really kind of transitioned.

My life has drastically shifted in the last, since July 28th, 20, 23, because that's when I originally first came as a guest on this podcast, the Hopoholics podcast, or the studio that we're in. And then that's really where, like, everything kind of changed the trajectory of my life because I was living in Texas. Texas. And then all of a sudden, you know, after being on the podcast and seeing what the guys we're doing out here with the treatment facilities from helping our veterans to having other facilities for people to come and detox and get well from drug and substance abuse. I really put all my chips into this bucket over here to open up my own treatment facility and to be on the podcast and just kind of go all in with everything, breaking the stigma with addiction. So you opened up your own treatment.

I did. Congratulations. Thank you so much. It's NEM Recovery Centers in Laguna Beach, California. NEM, right? NEM, Natalie, even Marie, baby. And in February, it will be one year. Wow.

I'll have a baby. Congratulations. Thank you. So if somebody's watching this and they want to reach out. Yep. And they're seeking treatment. What's the best way for them to do that? There's so many ways.

I mean, you can go, obviously, like on Instagram, you can go to the Hoboholics. On Instagram, you can go to NEM Recovery Centers on Instagram. You can go to a website. You can go to NEM recovery centers.com. We have numbers everywhere for anyone, like, on any social network. We have our very own AI tool as well of both Chad and myself. It's amazing. And you can text that number.

Like, anywhere you go on my personal socials, you can contact a number or go to a website and find help. What does your life look like, do you think, without recovery? It doesn't. There's no way that if I wasn't sober, I wouldn't have WWE. WWE was literally a monumental moment in my life because it, to me, was the setup. Because I came public with my sobriety on season one of Total Divas without me knowing what I was really doing by coming public with it. It was just I came public to hurry up with my story so that I didn't walk into the locker rooms

and have like Nikki or Bree holding up my mugshot, you know, me trying to skirt around something that I was like so shameful of. So that's really why I kind of put that out there myself because I think if you own all of your own stories or your own transgressions, it's like how are you going to tell me anything I've already told you, you know? It's like that's seen an eight mile. That's my go-to. That's my analogy that I always use.

I always reference because I feel like everyone's seen that movie. And they kind of understand what I'm talking about when it's like you own your own story, you own your own narrative. It gives you so much power because nobody can say anything to you then because you've already owned it. So that's really what I was doing at that moment without really knowing how powerful it was going to be for me, not only to be so open and honest about me working like a 12-set program or struggling with alcohol and drug addiction. but it really did set up my life, fast forward 10 years later to what I'm doing now, because when I got out of treatment right before,

because what people, I don't know if people really understand, like not only was WWE such a life-changing experience for me on a magnitude of reasons from the fact of me always wanting to be a professional athlete. I mean, soccer was really my sport, but the fact that God gave me that element back into my life, Because, as you know, having to handle the physicality inside the ring and being able to perform and travel and do all the things within that company is something that my soul was yearning for from not being able to pursue soccer my dream. But also, I was fresh out of treatment five weeks. So I had gotten originally my first audition because we don't do them anymore, but they were diva searches at the time.

Yeah. I had gone to like my first one a couple months before and I was still kind of in my addiction. I mean, I was able to show up to like the first call. But then I ended up going into treatment. And when I got out, that was when I got the call back. And it was like five weeks after I had just left treatment. So my life changed really quickly and really fast. Do you remember what the breakdown looked like for the diva search?

as far as like what they were looking for so it was like really really crazy and that's why i'm like thank you god and i know it was a god moment for me because i was such i was not in a great place like just with who i was where i was and what i was doing i just knew that i was not on the right path of like what i wanted to do i had finished college but my identity really was in sports and soccer was my like whole identity and once i was removed from my life i kind of of like kind of lost who I was because I didn't have that structure anymore. I didn't realize until obviously I got older, how much I really relied on that type of disciplined structure from and the camaraderie of being in a locker room and being on a team and having just like a goal

from, you know, you're trying to win division championships and things of that nature. But the breakdown for WWE was wild because it was like a kettle call. It was just so, many girls and at that time I was 28 years old and I had already been on so many auditions that I really just was like yeah here we go here's another one and then when I walked into WWE headquarters in Los Angeles I was looking up on the walls and I was like whoa whoa whoa like this is wild this is WWF because I'm the youngest of all boys in my family and I remember because I shared a room with one of my brothers we had bunk beds so of course we were like dropping elbows and doing the whole thing when we're like building forts and stuff like that.

And I remember it in that era. And then obviously, like, as I got older, I kind of fell off from watching the product. And then it turned into what it is now, WWE. And so when I saw, like, the photos of, like, Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold, I'm like, whoa, wait a minute. Then I really started to understand what this was. and so they had multiple callbacks, and there was multiple stages of just like entering a room, talking to somebody, and then I'll never forget my final stages of my callback. Because as I left and I started, I remember calling my parents and being like, oh my goodness,

like if I get this job, this has everything that I want to do infused into one, meaning like you have to handle the physicality. So that means that you're obviously in the gym. You got to be able to be physically fit. and do all of the things like a true blue athlete would. And then you get to create this character. So you're getting to perform in front of a live audience, which is insane. So you're acting.

Then on top of that, my dad's a Vietnam veteran. So they do so much, as you know, within the community. So they have so many things going on at all times. And also our servicemen and women are a huge component to that. So I'm like, dude, what? Like, God, come through. Like, let me. like I would love this opportunity.

But mind you, never wrestled a day in my life. I'm a field athlete. I like to keep my feet on the ground. So like that was a whole other element. But I wasn't even thinking about that part yet. But I do remember before it came down to break down to the in ring physicality tryout because they had to narrow it down because it was like such a vast pool of women. And then it got smaller and smaller and smaller.

one of the callbacks was going into a room and it was like 12 people, Triple H was one of them in the room and cameras everywhere, lights everywhere, and you're just like standing there and you're getting asked a ton of questions. I think that was the moment of like this is getting real because now you have 12 individuals in this room and they're basically like analyzing. you whether or not they think that you can cut it as a WWDiva at the time. And that was where I'm like, oh my God, this is like getting like fucking serious. And then of course, then the in ring of physicality trial and that's when it came down

to the real deal. How quickly did your life change after signing with WWA? So how it went down was actually really wild because so we had the in ring physicality tryout. And that's obviously where like I met and totally hit it off with Joe. Joe. And a couple of the other girls from our camp, CJ was in there as well. And so it was a four-week tryout. I fell in love with it because it was like I was missing that competitive edge anyways in my life too. And so the fact of doing something, and you know, getting into a ring, it's like,

especially if you don't have that type of physicality background, I feel like dancers, gymnasts, they kind of pick it up a little bit easier. was like, I'll never forget my body. I couldn't even, like, pick up my legs. I was so sore. It was insane. So how it went with that is after the four weeks, if they thought that they saw some type of potential in you,

you would end up getting a developmental contract, moved to Tampa at the time, because that's where the facility was, not in Orlando yet. The FCW at the time? Yes. And so it was just a developmental contract, and then you would go out there,

learn how to wrestle, learn whichever character you know, you're going to try to work on and learn about the business and then hope to get called up to the main roster of Monday Night Raw or Friday and Smackdown. I always refer to it as like AAA baseball. It's like you go and then, you know, but even at AAA, you know how to play the game when you're going in how we've got the developmental contract. None of all of us knew how to kind of run the ropes and kind of take a back bump by then and we're doing like forward, backward rolls. You know, it's not like we're really knowing how to wrestle. We're knowing, like, little basics and that's about it.

So how long after you started training did you have your first match? Well, it gets better. So that's why, like, my whole shit is, like, no one will ever walk into WWW the way that I did. I can almost guarantee it because it's insane. In a good way, though, for me. Because it's like I'm so blessed that I was able to have that opportunity because if I didn't, I don't know what I would be doing, you know.

So that's why I'm so thankful. So after those four weeks, I get my developmental contract. Me and Jojo actually got it together. They told us together. And we were like, I was so excited. I was like, oh my gosh. And they're like, okay, well, you guys have a couple months. Get your things together because you're going to have to move to Tampa.

No problem. Like, I ain't got shit out here anyways. I was saying I was sharing a bed with a girlfriend of mine because I had too much pride to move back in with mommy and daddy. So I was just like sharing a bed with her, you know, because that's how. bad my life was at the, or my decisions, I guess you could say, had put me. But then I get a call because I was in L.A. And they go, um, how do you feel about going in for this audition? We can't really tell you much about it. Um, we don't know about this project if we're going to like green light it

or what, whatever it is. Um, but they want to see you. And I was like, yeah, sure, no problem. I don't care. Go in. I pull up Buna Murray Studios. So I sit down, green screen. Shout out to Russell, the producer of the reality show, Total Divas. I had no idea. That's what the casting was for. But cameras kind of like this and you're sitting in front of a camera. He's journaling you a million questions just like who you are, where you're from, family, this, that, and the other. Three hours later, interview is done.

And he goes, just so you know, this project is moving really, really fast. and if you do get it, your life will be changing pretty quickly. So it's only happened to me probably twice in my life, this being one of them. When I walked out of that interview, I was like, I motherfucking murdered that. Like, I just had that feeling of like, wow, I think I just killed, like, for sure. So I ended up leaving that meeting. meeting or interview and drove back up to the Bay Area. It was a Friday night. Drove up to where I'm from, Concord, was with my parents, got a call on Saturday.

It's Russell saying, congratulations, you got the job. They mentioned something about my hair. Totally go deaf because I don't care because now I'm like, you have to think, I'm a chick that had all these hopes and dreams of being a soccer player. then that kind of shattered, got heavy into my addiction, went to rehab, just got out like maybe five weeks or so ago. And now I'm getting a call saying that I just got this opportunity to not only be in the WWE, but now I'm going to be on this reality show that showcases that, like, what that looks like on the road. So I get the call Saturday. So that's 24 hours after my interview saying that congratulations, you got the job. First day on the job. And I'm is going to be New York,

WrestleMania. You'll be on a flight on Monday morning. Wow. So my life changed within 48 hours. Wow. Just like that.

It's funny that it was total divas first before even working a wrestling match. Not even 100%. And I wasn't supposed to be like that. It was just like, I went, got my developmental contract, and that was like,

that was the drink, or that was what I was going to go for is like the hope to make it to Monday Night Raw. But then God had other plans. because Total Divas was brewing. And what's crazy about that is originally what they were going to do was have two people from NXT from developmental already to be on the show and then showcase that.

But I guess whoever, I'm not sure to this day exactly who made that call. I'm assuming it was probably a Vince call that they decided to flip it and add more, I guess, drama to the show and have two girls that knew nothing about the business and did not even know how a wrestle yet come into the show because obviously they were smart. It was going to cause some type of controversy with the girls that were in the locker room on the main roster and had been putting in the time and the work previously. So how long were you on Total Divas before you actually worked a match? So my first match, like, not long at all. That's why I was fucking terrible. Which played in my favor for my character-wise.

but it was so horrifying because I hadn't had a real match in practice or anything. It was like I barely even know how to take kind of a back bump. So it was really, I think what happened because things were happening so quickly

that Total Diva started to air. And then immediately they were like, oh my gosh, we need to put these girls on and kind coincide to have them on Monday Night Raw. But you have to remember too where

the time that Total Divas started airing, women did not have the time that they have now either on WW TV. So it was like even more difficult to kind of paint a picture and a paint a story because, I mean, the first year or first season, you get to watch the, um, like, disappointment of the, and then you have to think the twins and the Funkadactals, they were just valets for the guys at the time for WrestleMania and they got cut. Their match got cut during that first season

but that's kind of how it was for women at that time too. Yeah, that was like the give divas a chance era. Totally. That started trending on Twitter. It started trending on Twitter. These are like one minute matches. One minute and you can't even like when we look back

at it and we started talking about some of the storylines It's like it's so difficult to hurry up and you basically are, uh, jump this person and start beating them up without any, like, substance behind it, you know? It's like, you barely or you don't even get an entrance or something like that. So you're trying to, trying to kind of show these individuals, but you're giving them a minute, a minute 30, two minutes. That's nothing. Yeah.

You know? The United States Soccer Federation presents the U.S. soccer podcast. My name is David Goss, and I'm joined by my mom. My co-host, Megan Clevenberg. And now we're giving people an inside look at the World Cup. Time's ticking. I think you can feel the intensity. All the guys are wanting to really take their claimant,

and they want to be on that World Cup roster. There's no doubt about it. Hosting the World Cup on the home soil comes with its pressures, but we're just really excited just as the people are. The U.S. Soccer Podcast, presented by Hencoe. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. What was the story behind your red hair? Oh my gosh.

So best business. decision I have ever made without me knowing it. My mom's a hairdresser, so I've been dyeing my hair since I was like stealing all her stuff since I was like 15. So what color was it when you went to the research? Okay. So I had black, dark hair. That's my natural hair color. You see my eyebrows. That's the natural color. When I got a call on Saturday saying that I got the job, they mentioned a lot of the girls that have left were platinum blonde. We have girls. because the twins are Mexican-Italian, too. So we don't want you to look like one of the Bella twins.

Do you, are you okay with changing your hair to platinum blonde? I didn't care. I was like, yeah, sure, sure, sure, whatever. I'll dye my hair of freaking purple, whatever. So I get to New York for a WrestleMania. That was my first day on the job also, which is like unheard of. and they had disappointment and everything

with this like really nice salon in New York to dye my hair blonde. Like we're going platinum. Well, I've been blonde, not like a really cute blonde of whatsoever in high school and it was horrible. It was like so bad. So like in the show, season one,

or I think it's like the first episode, that was real shit. That was literally like I'm in the chair and they're pulling, they're stripping my hair color from like previous colors and stuff and it starts to kind of look like orangey. And I literally look at Jojo and I was like, I can't do it. Like, and I literally say in the, in the chair, like I look like Mufasa from the Lion King. Like, I look insane. It looks terrible. It's like orange. There is no way. Well,

I was listening to Rihanna's album at the time. It was when she had that crazy fire red hair. And on the cover, I think her album was called Loud at the time. And I was like, dude, her hair is sick. It was just like such a fire engine red. And I was like, fuck it. Let's go red. And I don't know exactly what really sparked me to kind of go against the grain because it was a big gamble because the vint and the higher ups were the ones that were like requesting this to happen. But deep down I knew like if I were to really go like a platinum blonde like Maurice Kelly Kelly like that type of blonde, one I would be bald. And there's no way that I would be able to maintain that type of white color for very long without it like just ruining.

I would, I literally would be bald to have that color hair because my hair is so dark. So I just really took a gamble. And at the time, because we were called divas, my saving grace, because I got in trouble, and the girls thought that I was going to get fired. and I'm sure looking back, they probably hope that I did. But my saving grace or what I, why I said or chose the way that I, you know, went red and went against the grain was because being a WWDiva, being a WWE superstar, even to this day, is all about your inner confidence and showcasing that and feeling good about yourself and then being able to hopefully radiate that from inward to outward. And I said basically that if I went blonde, there's no way I wouldn't be able to put forth the most confident individual because I would be insecure and self-conscious from the very jump. And that's like not what a diva embodies, you know?

How long do you think it took you to really start to figure out the moves in the ring, to really start to feel confident with putting into. together a match. I don't think until I decided when I went to Vince and asked him to go back down to NXT. So at what points that? I was already in, I was probably already on the road for like a year and a half or two before I went and I made a rocky decision by going and asking him to, no one steps down. Yeah. Like, um, but we were on the road so much and we were filming totally was so much that I didn't really have, uh, the time to put, and, um, and, um, but we were on the road so much. And, energy into training because our time was like really limited at that moment.

And then you can work on the road at house shows and stuff, but it's really a big ask to ask some of the other superstars to kind of get to the arena early and try to roll around with you. And it's not the same either. And one, they have a show that night. So it's like, and you can't really go. And trust me, there was a ton that wanted to do and did. Natty was great.

fit was also awesome because he would always get there early. But usually people are getting there early to like try things. Try them. They already know how to wrestle. They know how to already put together a very basic match. So it's a little bit different than what I really needed, you know? You're saying like you needed the basics. I needed the big.

I needed all of the things. I needed just like a full on just like anybody, you know. You can't you can't just walk in somewhere, especially on that magnitude of a level and expect to understand because an entire match is is way more extensive than what people think. And what a tough spot for you to be in because you're learning in front of the entire world, not just the people in that arena. You're learning in front of the millions of people watching at home.

Exactly. But it played into my favor because as hard as it was, too, and I feel like, you know, I'm a perfectionist. And I also was dealing with a lot of like, oh my gosh, I want people, even like my own, like colleagues, I want them to like me and I want them to know that I'm here for all the right reasons and all the things. But that's going to come with time and that's going to come when they like see the work that I'm putting in.

But I just came to a point, I think, I think it was like probably like a year and a bit into being in WWU. That's when I went up to Vince and I was like, hey, can I go back down at NXT? But that's when I really started to feel it. And that's when I was on the road, traveling with everybody, you know, setting up the ring. And that's my storyline with Bailey and Naya Jacks was created. What was Vince's reaction to that? He told me no problem, but he also said,

there's no guarantee of you coming back. Wow. Yeah. That's scary. It's scary. Yeah. But I said there's no one that's me. Ha.

When you were filming Total Divas, who were your closest friends? Jojo. And then, um, Ariana and Trin were great to me. But, um, Jojo was, was my girl because we lived together. Um, but it was tough. But I get it. Like, it was, we're the new kids. We're like, we see the drama.

Yeah. Was there legit beef? Oh, that shit was real. That shit was real. I mean, we're all good now, but that's why I can, like, laugh and talk about it because that shit was like, mm-hmm. Wow. Mm-hmm.

And was it the idea that, like, hey, you don't belong here? Yeah. You're an outsider coming into our world. For sure, and I totally get it. It's like, pay your dues. Who is this bitch? She's going to come. in here, we've been putting, we've been going hard for the last X amount of years.

They have, you have to think, too. Not only were there two minute matches, there's one storyline for the girls. So it's like, you're, it's a doggie dog world. When you're on TV, that's also how you get paid and also how you get known, how you get the WWE, which the WWE has the best fans in the world. And when you're on TV, you get the love or the hate from the universe. So you want to be on television. And that's the whole point of being in the WWE and on a show so that you can go perform.

So now all of a sudden they have two new girls stepping into the locker room. They know that don't know how to wrestle. So there's one ping against us is that they've been putting in their blood, sweat, and tears for years to get up on the main roster. Now that they think they have the opportunity for their time to shine, now we have these two new girls that, that know nothing about the business, don't even barely know how to do a back bump or a suplex or run the ropes. And you expect us to, one, help them. And two, I'll be damned if they think they're going to take my spotlight.

So you already had that, which I completely understand, like, how could you not? But at the same time, when opportunity knocks, you better be ready to fucking take it because nobody else is going to do it. You had to deal with so much criticism. Like, fans are chanting. You can't wrestle. Oh, my God, yeah. How do you deal with that?

I think I'm really fortunate because I have such a strong family. And I think that if I didn't have a strong family, I think I would have gotten eaten alive because it did. At first it affected me so much because I'm like, yeah, no shit, I can't fucking wrestle. Like, duh. You're like, I just started this. I'm like, I just learned. Like, and I'm learning. But I think because it would bother me to the core.

And that's also why I ended up asking Vince to go back to NXT because I wanted to like learn how to wrestle and really have. that confidence within myself. And also it was a twofold thing where I think that me doing that also gained respect from my peers from doing that as well because they got to see a different side of me than what they had perceived also, I think. And I think time always kind of reveals like the truth of an individual or someone's character. And that's why all of the things kind of worked itself out, meaning like there's no beef

amongst myself with any of the girls. I actually get along with all of them really, really well. Now, at one moment in time, I could not say that. I was like, oh, my God, these bitches fucking hate me. Like, legitimately wanted to. You know, I didn't, I did not hate them because I think hate is just like way too harsh of a word. But I definitely despise them where I was like, back the fuck up.

Like, let me breathe. But at the same time, because I am such a competitive person and I understand a locker room, I could understand the animosity as well. So it was like a weird. And then on top of that, I'm like, dude, I'm getting like annihilated from a locker room standpoint, but then also the universe standpoint. Like people, like going out into an arena, I didn't realize until like, shout out to Norman Smiley, shout out to Tyler Breeze and Bailey. Like, I always give them some love because I had a really hard time at first. with like, I would walk out of arenas, and my ass would be booed out of that place.

Like, crazy. And I would always wonder, it's kind of like, oh, my God, this is so horrible. But they always checked me and being like, no, that is everything. Do you realize, like, any heel character would die for that? Because you have to think, to tell a good story, you got to have the baby face, you got to have the good guy, and you got to have a great bad guy. So automatically me not really knowing how to wrestle and me kind of getting thrown out onto a Monday night raw

and just kind of like shitting the bed essentially in front of the world. You feel like you did? I think in moments. I think in moments. I don't think that ever did I like completely shit the bed, but like you can definitely tell that I'm so green. And like there's some like Jerry Lawler slap. You want to get into that one?

That one's fucked up. So that night, I wasn't even supposed to say anything. They didn't even say your name right, by the one. No, I know. Because you Ava Moritz. Yeah, I know. I know. That night, I wasn't even supposed to, I'm just supposed to sit there.

The twins were the one that were supposed to speak. Yeah, there was, they had the verbiage that night. I don't know to this day exactly why things changed the way they did or how. but at the last minute I get told no actually you're going to say my name is Eva Marie because he fucks up my name

and I say like correct him and then I slap him well I get told to that maybe maybe 30 minutes before you know we're supposed to go out there and I'm like freaking out I remember like telling Jojo like oh my God like what what am I doing like huh I don't even know

and you have to think I don't even know really exactly like how to maneuver in the ring with like heels or also where am I doing this camera angles kind of stuff like that i think we had run through something like really quickly prior but now this is my first slap okay you and this is where i think i got ribbed because um no one gave me the iggy on like how to do it or like what i'm doing all i know is like how am i going to slap this like jerry's like an older man like i don't want to hurt him. You know, like, we also, me forgetting, like, this is a fucking show. Like, we also need to sell this shit to make it believable. No one, no one helped me out. No one not,

didn't say a word. Like, how to make it the, like, that Jerry's going to clench his jaw. Like, it's already, he's going to go with the slab. Like, it's going to be fine. You just fucking go. You do it. Well, look at the. product. That was horrible. Like Bailey, Pam, we laugh about it to this day because it's kind of, it's like a gift. It's like so you can tell that I'm trying not to like really hit him. It's horrible. It's the worst slap in history. That should get an award, if anything. I feel like that should get an award of like, you know how they have what in WWW. They do the streamies and some other thing. That should go in the Hall of Fame for like worst slap in total like ever.

You think it was that bad? I do. You owned it, though. Like, for you to have just figured out this segment beforehand, I'm not saying it was the greatest slap-up. Oh, it was horrible. Okay. It is what it is.

But you owned it the way that you, like, cut that promo, you sat back down. Like, it was a moment. It was a moment. It was a moment of me just, here we go. But, I mean, that's how WW is. And that's why I'm so fortunate for the way that I started in entertainment by starting with WWE because honestly, these guys are the baddest in the planet. Like, I don't care who you are, like, from an athlete standpoint as well.

There's no off-season. Like, people forget that. You know, you're getting to see these performances that are like WrestleMania. There's nothing like it. Summer Slamp, the pay-views, just the storytelling to the pyro to all of the magnitude of a true blue performance of a show. But what I think people miss and forget is that this is not the M. This is not NFL.

They get an off season. Like not taking credit away from them, they're being fantastic athletes as well. But WWE, there is no offseason. Like you are on full time. So, like, yes, there's going to be your different superstars that have a lesser of a schedule. But you don't get there until you're putting in the grind after years and years and years and years. And those guys is like 1%. You know, it's the John Cena's of the world.

It's the Roman reigns. But everybody else is. on the road. They're grinding day in and day out and putting on a show, putting smiles on, people's faces and giving it all every single time that they do go out through that curtain. And that's a lot of attacks and wear on a body from different time zones. I mean, they were just in Saudi Arabia, like, and then they fly back and then perform, you know, Monday night off. Philly, yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. So it's like people don't take that into, and they're not flying like private or anything. Some are. There's like two people that are flying private like that. You know what I'm saying? And so MLB, NFL, they're flying their own charter planes. Yeah, like a team charter.

Yeah. That's not life on the road in WWE. Life on the road is you're in a rental car. You're staying out. Red Roof's in. And it's interesting because fans only see your segment. Right. If it's a 30 second segment on Raw or SmackDown, that's all they see.

Right. They don't see that you flew into this one city to connect to this other city, to rent a car, to drive to where the town is, to then rent or get a hotel wherever. So much goes into it. So much goes into it. And then your costumes, like they don't realize that those aren't provided for you. Like, you're creating your costumes and trying to figure out what you want to wear and you're hopefully, like, you know, you have steams just and stuff like that at the show, but they're also working on everybody else's. And so that's also another element that goes into it as well,

because it's showmanship. Yeah. And it's, once you get to that town, find a gym. Find a gym. Because one of the biggest parts of your job is being out there in your underwear. Yeah. And then on top of that, it's like having wear with all of like your food. Because when you finish a show, the only things that are open are fast food and gas stations. So then at that point, you're like, fuck. And then you're having whatever fast food or food that you shouldn't be eating. And then you're like mad at yourself. You just pack your bag with catering because the catering is pretty good, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we started doing is like you pack your little box before catering cleans up. And then, you know, then it's waiting for you after the show. I feel like the desserts in camera. Oh, my God. It's like. Would just be staring at me the whole time. Well, that's the thing is like so bananas is that in catering.

the desserts are out of control. They're so good where it's like... Well, because it's for the whole crew. Exactly. It's not just for the superstars. It's for the people that set up the ring and the camera and the lighting and production. Yep.

They like their desserts too. Exactly. So the ones that are actually like wrestling in their speedos and bikinis, it's like... You just have to have discipline. Yeah. For real. It's horrible.

The segment of you having the wardrobe malfunction Yes. Has 47 million views on WWE's YouTube channel. What was the whole pitch for that segment? So that whole like kind of storyline was fun. It was, um,

like there's always going to be an excuse for me not to, not to get in the ring. One I got stuck in traffic. The other one I heard like hurt my knee. And then the wardrobe malfunction. I can't remember who exactly like thought of that idea. But I, it was pitched to me.

And I'm obviously easy. I'm game. I'm really, especially because I'm a bad guy. as is. So, like, I have removed really quickly being the hero or being, like, the one that doesn't look silly, you know, because I think that also is a big component in going into WW. Sometimes some superstars have a really hard time with being the butt of the joke. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Or not being, like, the one, or the man. Right? Or the, the, and I kind of

let that shit go because it was like, it's fine. You know, here we are. And it worked. I mean, like, people really did hate me. Like, there is, there is a sign. And when I can't remember what city it was. It was like, if Eva Marie's here, we riot. It was like the funniest road. Or, like, there was, like, just this, like, crazy little section of, like, this is Eva Marie's section or something so, so obnoxious. But it was fun because they were, they couldn't wait to just, like, talk shit to me when I came out. But the wardrobe one was gnarly because it's live television. So to make it realistic, we had to do, like, we did a run through with it because the last thing that we needed me actually like dropping my top.

You know, so cameramen were paranoid, freaking out. So I was securely taped. But it came off, like, pretty good. Yeah, so what actually happens? Because you actually do have a wardrobe mouth. I do. Yeah. But with, but the way that I'm holding it looks like, oh, my God, it's really happening.

Yeah. But I'm taped up. So if I literally like let my hands go, it's just flapping in the wind. But we don't see the camera shot of like, what happens to your straps? It basically just clips off. Oh. And it just falls forward. And how it kind of came off on TV looked great.

It liked how it just really did look like this is happening. Like her top is literally falling off. And Becky played off it great. Like you're a little weiner, you know? And then the refs like, we need a towel. Let's get a towel. And I'm having a heart attack telling them to get me a towel. It's just a mess.

And that's the type of stuff that gets, well, I don't know. Should we be concerned with the WW Universe, 47 million views. I mean, do we have a lot of bunch of perverts or what? You tell me. That's crazy. That's actually an insane amount of views for just, I mean, how long is that? How long is that clip?

Ten seconds. Two minutes? Oh, two minutes? Yeah. From start to finish. But that's way more views than a lot of matches, a lot of classic matches. Way more views. Which is nuts, huh?

It says a lot about the WWU universe. Yeah, it does. Sorry. Or maybe WW would need to bring me back for another little. Would you go back? Of course. Especially, you know, shout out to Bree and Nikki for their, Nikki's latest run and then Bree just rejoined her in Saudi and, you know,

they're doing their thing. And I think it's awesome. I think there's nothing better. It's like nostalgic, too. Plus, the twins really did start the, they're in the real true blue moment. Them, the Funk of the, like, give divas a chance era. because they were getting a lot of the matches like either time cut and me and jojo were right there watching just like the devastation of you work so hard at putting together a match or a finish or something that has some type of compelling story and then it gets chopped into 30 seconds and a slap it's like it makes you not feel the best about yourself you know especially when you have a show that they're doing 30 seconds and a slap it's like it makes you not feel the best about yourself you know especially when you have a show that they're doing 30, 45, 50 minute matches of the guys and there's every, there's guy matches every match.

Like, you're the only one that has two minutes. It's hard to conceptualize, you know, as a talent and feel like you're taken seriously when the show is a three-hour show. What's changed so much now? Oh, my gosh, that's what I'm saying. That's why it's like really cool to see the twins come back, especially during this era because of that moment in time. And look at how much has changed.

I mean, you have Becky, you have so many of these women. Bailey, they're doing cage matches. They're main eventing, Charlotte. Like, they are killing the game and doing it incredibly. Why did your first run with WWE come to an end? You know, I think it was actually odd. I still don't know exactly like the timing of it was, I mean, I got my first movie. So that's also kind of what happened is I stepped away to do the movie.

This is the movie with Nicholas Cage, right? It's insane. Yeah. I know. Called Inconceivable. Inconceivable. Yep. You can still watch it on Netflix.

Very cool. Yeah. I had an amazing time on that film. And it actually says it's a really good film. It reminds me of the hand that rocks the curse. Edel, if you ever watched it before. And so when I left for that, I kind of still have a feeling of like, if I didn't leave for that movie, maybe I wouldn't have, maybe I would still be in the company because I think that probably

was as much as they gave me their blessing. I'm sure it hurt me internally in some capacity. Was it the idea that like, oh, your focus isn't wrestling? Maybe. It could have been. It wasn't said to you. It was never really said to me. So at that time, I think there was just so much stuff going on internally that I didn't have control over or could talk for myself.

So I think that was like lost in communication of some degree. And then it was just like, okay, well, I'll do this. And then thank you. But you're living your dream at this point. WWE's all of the things you wanted it to be in one. And now you're like, oh. So then where do you go? Right.

Right. So then it was a weird moment, too, of like, wait, what? What just happened? But then I always bounced back. Well, you ended up doing another movie around that time. I did. It was with Hard Kill with Bruce Willis. So I kind of

You do movies with Nick Cage And Bruce Willis. I know I know And then I did a TV series With Bella Thorne Paradise City That's a great

Okay so if you can It's on Amazon Prime It's awesome I wish I don't know how that show Did not get picked up For a season two Because the people that are in it

Are insane It had a ton of people From a son's the anarchy cast Um And The cast was just like insane from just like a wide variety of different people on different genres and the storyline was really, really cool. So I got to dabble and dip my toe in TV and film. So the perception

may be from the outside looking in of like you want to go make it in Hollywood. Wrestling's not the main focus here. You want to go do what you can in Hollywood. So you get let go and now you have a chance to try to do things in Hollywood. I mean, I don't think that that's kind of, I mean, I think that's the perception of it. But in actuality, the only way that I even had those opportunities in Hollywood was because of WWE. Like, that's how I got my agent. That's how I ended up even remotely having that idea. People have the skewed where they think that I use WWE to get into Hollywood. That's not really the case where my focus was in WWE and then WWE brought me this opportunity. where it was an outside opportunity that I then had to bring to WW.

WW is the one that brought it to me. So if you talk about you lost yourself when soccer ended. Yeah. You find wrestling. Yep. When wrestling ends, you get released. How do you find yourself from there? That was difficult because from wrestling into like entertainment,

I remember the entertainment world really wanting me to dye my hair back to black, which I did. Um, or no, I didn't, I did it for the roll. So my hair was already black. So that was also another problem, too, is that I had to dye my hair for the role. And so. Do you instantly get recognized so much less, right? You're so known for red.

For red. Red. And now pink. I can't remember. I don't feel like I had, I don't really remember if it was like, uh, you know what I mean? If a girl with right of hair is walking in the airport. Oh, yeah. Everyone's going to be like, who's that?

For sure. It had to have decreased for sure once I had my black hair. But it was hard because all of a sudden I'm getting told to kind of dumb down myself. Like don't wear so much makeup, be very much like plain. A lot more of not who I am. I'm loud. I have a large personality. I'm a lot of things.

I mean, I can be quiet, but it's just not really in me. So that was tough because I was trying to mold myself into this, like, actress that I'm just not. I mean, I love the art. I love acting. I think that, if anything, being in WW1st before I did a film really paved the way for me because being on a movie set, piece the cake. first of all, they can't bring you back to set legally for like 12 hours or X amount of hours because of the union laws. So that one is already like winning because in WWE, there's, you're literally working around

the clock and they can make you work around the clock because that's just how the business is. And plus with total divas and stuff, it's like, cool, you slept for an hour? Great, we're filming. So there was that. And then on top of it, you can, if you fuck up, cut. Yeah. And WWE, you fuck up, have fun. You're not going back on TV.

You know, it's a very big difference. And, like, I think that is what, why I always give so much credit to WW SuperSars because I'm like, the work ethic there is like hands down. Nobody can now work us. Like, no way. Nothing, nothing is, it's like easy. Not easy, but it's... You've already done it. Yeah.

Yeah. What led you to go back to WWE in 2021? I love the business. I love it. There's nothing like it. I owe everything to WWE. You know, I've learned so much. I've grown as like an individual.

I feel like it's funny. There's so much. I have a love-hate relationship too because I feel like I never really got a solid shot either, like a solid storyline. I never did. I never even had a title run. I had an end of going for like the NXT title.

But like when you really look at like the grand scheme of things of storylines and me on the main roster, what? Yeah, what was the main storyline you really got to sink your teeth into? None. Zero. Nothing. Which is fine. I'll take anything that I can get. But I think like that yearns in me for sure of just like some like real juicy.

long run. And that's what I thought 21, 21 was going to be. That's what it was supposed to kind of be. So where'd the conversation start for you to come back in 2021? Did you reach out to them? Did they reach out to them? Yeah, I always had a conversation or I always had a really good relationship with Vince. So like we would exchange emails every now and then. We're both September birthdays. So I would always send pleasantries, just checking in about like the business and like letting them know like, I'm still here. And then I must have caught him on a good day. one of the days because he was like, you know what,

I think that I got something for you. Cool. What's up? And so then I went out to Connecticut and had a meeting at the headquarters and then it seemed really good. What's crazy, though, is that initially my comeback was going to be

a little bit, look a lot different. Like it was going to be with Piper and I love her, shout out to her too. But it was going to be a lot longer and it wasn't really having me wrestle. So I wrestled a lot more going back in 21 than I ever even really thought. I mean, I went to the WW, like the, in Orlando and made sure that I was in shape and I can go. But the storyline that was really going to be was like I was going to be the talking head for Piper to like really kind of be that individual that you want to basically like annihilate and kick their face in at the end.

which people wanted to do that with that anyways, but we got there way too fast. Well, people love to boo you. They do. They really do. So where does the line get drawn between they're booing the character or they're booing you?

I don't know. I'm sure the line is just blurred. Right? Because what's the difference between heat and go away heat? Sure. They're still booing. Totally. Are you able to tell the difference?

Right. And that's the thing. It's like, okay, you can say, oh, it's go away heat. Well, is it? Because you're still giving heat. So, like, which one? You know?

So that's a very good point because if it's go away heat, it's the same shit. Yeah, if the reaction we're looking to get out of the character is the fan's booing. We're doing it. Right. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point.

And also, I think that as a fan, or at least, me, like watching the product, I enjoy wanting to boo someone. Like, I enjoy not liking a character. Like, it gets, you can't like everybody. You know, it's not fun. It's not like a true blue entertainment. You want to be able to, like, really say fuck off to a character. And there's an interesting thing that happens with wrestling, where, like, when there's

heels that you're supposed to boo, you're like, ah, yeah, there's such a good heel, boo them. And then there'll be people that are like, I don't like what that person's doing. It's like, sounds like they're doing a good job then because they're a heel. Right. Like, no, you don't understand. That is so true because there is some people that are just like a really good, like, because I feel like people are privy to the business and they understand it a lot more than than before from like, you know, a storytelling perspective.

And so you have, they're doing their, they're doing. their job really well as being a heel. So then you want to make sure that you're like giving them that nod of what a heel should be like respected in a way, I guess. Yeah. But then there's also the other element of, I really just don't like this guy. You know, I don't know which one is better. So why did the most recent run with WWE kind of an end?

That one, that one is actually fucking. a little bit odd because it was supposed to be longer than that. And it wasn't. But I think there is going to be changing of hands in management. And that's kind of what happened with my contract. So it kind of got messed up within kind of that communication. But you were part of a release, right? I was.

Yeah, like it wasn't just you. No. Yeah. It wasn't. I can't remember who was in my release. I can't remember who else was there. But then where do you go from there? It's like now you've had two runs with WWB and you've been released twice now.

How do you sit back, take that all in and then move forward? How could you not? What a blessing. It would be really, really crazy to look at it any other way. Because, I mean, what if I didn't have that opportunity? So it's like the perspective of any situation is to me everything. Because I could look at it like, oh my God, what, why this, that, or the other? But I look at it more like, thank you.

How awesome. And I loved my run in 21. Sure, I wish that it was longer. Absolutely. But I felt like in 21, I really sat in into my heel character and not gave a fuck. And had a great time with it from like on social. to Twitter a talking shit. Like, I really dove into that heel character

as opposed to I was relaxed. I felt like relaxed in the pocket. Where before, I was trying so hard to, like, be there, but also gain the respect of my peers because I really wanted that as well. Also, learn the craft.

There are so many components, like internally that I was struggling with because I respected the business. business so much that I, the last thing that I wanted was for my peers to think that I had any disrespect because of the way that I came in. So that was like really heavy on me. Then I really wanted to be on television to have a storyline, but then I also needed to learn the craft. So there's so, and then I wanted, I needed to also, um, film for total divas and have that element component, but then fans hated me, but I wanted them to love me. So there were so many different things

going on at that time that when I came back in 21, all of that stuff. And I also grew. Obviously, you learn through experience and with age. And then my relationship with the girls in the locker room was amazing at that point, so that I had no pressure there. So, like, my work environment wasn't hostile. And I was comfortable with my ability in the ring as well. So, like, was I a fucking 10 star wrestler? Absolutely not. But could I put on somewhat of a show? Yes. And did I feel confident in taking other people's stuff? Sure. I've seen some of these photos you've been posting recently. I feel like you look like you're in better shape now than when you're wrestling. For sure. I do. I feel like I am. Definitely. I just probably just because like when you're on the road,

It's tough. Yeah. It's tough to manage, like, your food and then sleep. Sleep is a big one, too. And now, obviously, I can control all of that way more so than... You've got routines now, right? Exactly. Yeah.

It looks like you could be ready to go. WW can pick up the phone call. The twins need their third. I got mean girls coming back. I got them, no problem. It's interesting you've never wrestled anywhere but WWA. No, I haven't. did you ever think about going out on the Indies?

Did you ever think about looking at TNA or AEW or Japan? I mean, I thought about it for a second. I would never say never, for sure. But also, it's difficult when you've wrestled for the best company in the world. And in my eyes, like, it has from just a whole production level, there's nothing better. That's why they're number one. Yeah.

You know. How tough was it when you were filming total divas with your private life out there for everybody to see? Right? You're going through an engagement. Then a marriage. The fights that you have, the good, the bad, everything in between. How difficult is that? You know, either I'm just a really interesting individual or it wasn't, I had a hard.

hard time with my work relationships because it was so there's so much turmoil there for like valid but also unnecessary reasons too like we were able to squash it um but I did okay with it I had no problem with it because I think that it's like nope this is me this is my life um take it or leave it I am a mess and I own it and if I really mess up I I will say that I'm sorry. And then hopefully you forgive me and we can move past it. As a percentage, how scripted or not scripted, are the situations you're at in total divas.

So there's a ton that were like real, like full on. And then there's a good magnitude that is like embellished. Are there times when they go, all right, we're going to put you guys in this coffee shop. and Eva, you don't like Nikki for whatever reason today. They will do, this is a, like picking up from this, like, conversation or fight scene. So like, it kind of puts you in that element of what was really going on. So it is like sometimes embellished scenarios, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes production is shady and will be like, let you in being like, hey, did you know?

that Nikki and Bree were and everybody were talking X, Y, and Z about you. And then they're like, okay, start filming. And then now I'm talking to like Jonathan about it. Like, I can't believe the girls are saying, you know? So they capture like real emotion based upon hearsay. So like there is going to be, and that's why reality TV kills it. Because there's elements of realness in there. My family, all that shit is real.

Like my family is, which is funny because people. Shout out to everybody that comes up to my parents because my dad's a ham on the show. He's funny. And people go up to them and like say, can I take your picture? And they're like, oh, yes, yes, of course, of course. So that's cute. But like, that's why reality shows kills it because it's like, those are my real parents. Yeah.

That is really who I was engaged to. This is my real place. Like, it gets so many elements of realness that the little bits of embellishment are just like, You never know, which ones. You probably have just as many, if not more, fans from E than you do from WWE. Like, there's so many people that just watch Total Divas. Yeah, you're right. That didn't watch weekly WWETV.

Correct. Isn't that crazy to think about? That is crazy. Yeah, that like for some people, you're a reality show star. Sure, which is so nuts. Yeah. But look at how smart WWE was at that time to take the risk. Because they had no idea, because when we first started filming,

Other superstars were like, that's lame, that's dumb, because it was like so against the grain because it's like stepping into reality TV and it could flop and it could totally not hit. But it ended up hitting and taking off and it also had, I can't remember, we might have been the lead in or whatever it is right after the Kardashians. But that helped a lot too because that was when the Kardashians were just like such a huge reality show on E. Yeah. How many seasons did you guys do? So I was on the show for six, and I want to say Total Divas ended up doing, I think, maybe nine. And then the twins had their spin-off. Yeah.

And I want to say their show at least did three seasons. And because of the success of that, we got Miz and Misses. Yep. How many seasons? I don't know how many seasons Ms. and Maurice did. I don't know. They had their show, too. Yeah.

Wow. But look. It was all because it started with Total Divas. Yeah. And then it also like just, I think that's what's awesome is not only did. So many people come up to me and they say, oh my gosh, like we watch Total Divas because now my girlfriend now was able to tune in to watch Monday Night Raw. So like there has been so many guy fans that had their girlfriends or wives start watching

total divas and then now they're a WWE fan because they got to watch that like kind of, um, portion of our lives and then want to actually, which makes sense, I would want to, too, to be like, oh my God, who are these girls? And then I would want to watch them get down on Monday Night Raw or Friday Night Smackdown. Which match from your time in WWE are you most proud of? That's so hard because, like, I love to, like, I feel like my, like a storyline. And where I remember it so well was my NXT run with Bailey and NIA Jacks just because, like, the, match throughout it was like you can see the crowd on the ride. And I think that was really awesome because I think that as a superstar, you want the

audience to be so invested through all the like, and just I felt it. And like even looking back, you can see the audience like right there from the very last, you know, to the finish. And there's like cool little like spots in there too. That was fun. But there's so many, there's so many moments because I really haven't had like I would say a crazy up on the main roster, like a true blue. Obviously my last one in 21, I had a really good time with Piper.

I felt like my character was just such a bitch. She was just like any promo that I see or like people will. send little gifts or stuff like that on Twitter. It's funny. Like I want to slap myself. That's why I'm like, ooh, that's good because I don't even like how I'm being. Was like my favorite. I feel like that to me in 21 was like comfortable era of like this is like, this is fun, you know?

This is like settling in. I think you could ever be a baby face? I don't think so. I don't think I could ever be a baby face. Do you? I don't know. People really like to boo you. Yeah, I don't think that I could ever be a baby face.

I'd have to... How do you not take it personally? I don't know. I don't know what has what shifted for me. Because at the very beginning, it did. I really was like, wait, what? Why does everyone help? Like, hate me.

I want to be here. I love it here. I'm respectful. I'm this. I work hard. Did it. And then I don't know what. I think, like,

I have really good parents. I really think that I was able to, like, go home and behind closed doors, cry to them and then them be like, what are you doing? Like, you are living your dream. Like, you stop it right now. And then Norman Smiley is like a really big one too because he's like, kid, if they're not reacting to you at all, that is a problem. Like, do you know how many superstars come to me and wish that they had. some type of reaction, like something, someone yelling something to them. You have a whole arena literally wishing that you did not exist in that arena. Like, that's the type of heat that you want.

So it had, you know, different people really letting me know, like, this is what it's about. Like, welcome to the show, kid. And it sounds like you're sure of who you are. Yeah. Right? Because if you're questioning who you are, and now maybe the voices can come, in and kind of whisper in your ear and go, maybe you are this or are that? For sure. And that's why bringing back to your question at the top of the hour was about my sobriety. Now, imagine if I wasn't sober and I had walked into this opportunity. Not only would I not be able to handle the duality of what's real and what's not, but could I handle the self-criticism that is constantly thrown my way without it letting me eat me alive.

No way. Was there a moment, a rock bottom moment that you had to get sober from? Oh, for sure. I mean, there was many in my life. Many, you know. I mean, my parents are everything to me. And the way that I was living was just not the way that I was raised to. And I wasn't living to my full potential nor feeling.

Like, what am I doing with my life, you know? It's March 24. 14th, 2013, right? Yeah. Look at you. It's my wife's birthday, March 24th. Oh my gosh, are you serious? Yeah.

So when you said that in another interview, I was like, oh, I know that date. So you're coming up on 13 years next month. Mm-hmm. Wow. I know. I'm old. It sounds more like you've been living in your purpose for 13 years. Yes.

It's kind of like, you know, your life is split in two halves. It is. It's really crazy. I mean, I first got sober at 23 and then, And, you know, I had about three years and then thought that I was just like young and could figure it out. And I knew better. And then, you know, relapsed and then didn't come back until I was 28.

So that's why it's like really crazy where the one thing, because I did not want people to know that I've had a substance abuse problem or anything like that for the longest time thinking that I was going to bring me like, you know, guilt and shame to my family or this, that, or the other. And that's why I think my god is so funny and is humorous because here I am all of a sudden getting this like massive global opportunity with WWE. And then Total Diva is a reality show when E was just like popping at that in that year. And then I come public with something. The one thing that I'm like the most embarrassed, shameful about.

And then look at me. We're sitting in this podcast studio and that's all I talk about. Yeah. It's like fucking life is crazy. Is it hard being on Total Divas when every dinner, every night out is all centered around drinking? And you're newly sober at the time? I know. It's actually really crazy to think that I was newly sober at the time.

I didn't really like think about that until long, much later. It really wasn't. And I don't know. And that's why I believe, you know, obviously I've talked about Goda quite a bit. but I really do believe that everything happens for a reason because not once did I ever think like or and I know that there are people that can't be around when they're trying to get sober any type of alcohol or drug or anything like that. But I never had an issue with it.

And it could be a magnitude of reasons where I knew how high the stakes were for me of of fucking up and I didn't want to fuck up on live and grandiose television and become like the bad girls club. But also, you know, I was working a program. So like I have a sponsor. I work a 12 sub program and like doing that to my best of ability. So I think all of that kind of coincide really kept me tight and not wanting to lose what I had. And look where you are now. Like congratulations on everything. Congratulations on this podcast, Hopeaholics, which I was grateful to be a guest on. Yes, you are. I think we're going to plan it out so the episodes will come out later today. So yours will air first, then mine will come out later today. Cool. Congrats on the treatment facility.

Thank you. And just congrats on you've changed and shaped so many people's lives. So many people that are at their rock bottom coming to you and you're providing hope for them, providing help for them. hopefully that is the goal i think that's what life is all about you know like we have we live through our experiences and then hopefully you can um give that to somebody else and in my case hopefully somebody doesn't have to make the same mistakes i did time and time again and realize that you're not alone like we all have those like terrible thoughts or feelings or whatever it may be or thinking that we can't stop if it's a drink or a drug but that's definitely not the case.

I mean, I got into the WWE for fuck's sake. Like, if that ain't telling you something, hello. You've mentioned the word gratitude a few times in this podcast. It's a huge thing for me. And it's the question I ask at the end of every episode. So first of all, thank you for doing this. Yes. Finally got you on the show.

Yes, of course. So thank you. What are three things in your life right now, Natalie, that you're grateful for? My family, my health, I'll do four. I love it. I'm out Rushmore. My family, my health, my relationship with God, because without him, I don't have my sobriety,

and the endless amount of opportunities. Amazing. Thank you again. Thank you. Jim Rome takes on sports. Why? Because I have a job to do with rapid fire takes. So I don't want to hear from you, Lava,

on this notion today. No idea what you're talking about. You're complaining more than you like to breathe air. It's like you get up in the morning only to complain and cry and moan on social media about things that you don't even understand. He's the spitfire of sports smack. Take advantage of it, but get up in here. The Jim Rome Show podcast.

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