Insight with Chris Van Vliet - Former NFL Player Anthony Trucks on how shifting your identity will change your life

Episode Date: May 21, 2021

Anthony Trucks is a motivational speaker and former NFL player. He talks to Chris Van Vliet about the idea of shifting your identity and the powerful effects it can have on your life. Think about it, we are the projection of who we think that we are. But what if we shifted that? Anthony says it can have a massive effect on your life and that anyone can be anything that they want. He also talks about his time in the NFL, how a shoulder injury ended his football career, how being a father has changed him, and much more!   If you enjoyed this episode, could I ask you to please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcast/iTunes? It takes less than a minute and makes a huge difference in helping to spread the word about the show and also to convince some hard-to-get guests.   For more information about Chris and INSIGHT go to: https://chrisvanvliet.com   Follow CVV on social media: Instagram: instagram.com/ChrisVanVliet Twitter: twitter.com/ChrisVanVliet Facebook: facebook.com/ChrisVanVliet YouTube: youtube.com/ChrisVanVliet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I'm Chris Van Fleet, and thank you so much for coming back each and every episode. Although I will say that if you were to only listen to one episode, that would have a profound effect on your episode. life, it would be this one. Because so much of who we are is tied to who we think that we are or who we think that we should be. Anthony Trucks is a former NFL player who's now a transformational identity shift coach and a keynote speaker.

And he drops all kinds of knowledge bombs during this conversation. And he has a phenomenal story. You can find him on social media at Anthony Trucks. You can find me at Chris Van Fleet. And wherever you listen to this podcast right now, you can find Anthony's podcast called Ah Shift. I was actually just a guest on his show. So you'll be able to hear that episode soon.

While you're on there, give a follow or subscribe to Ah Shift. And give a follow or subscribe to Insight, if you haven't already. Let's get right to it. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Anthony Trucks. Do it. We are doing it.

Man, somebody is doing it. I just love the energy. that you bring. I love it. And this is me, I am at the back end of a week and this is me a little bit subdued, but I'm still on, bro. Like, we rock and roll. You dialed back is like a 12 out of 10 for most people. I don't know about all that, man. You know, it feels that way. I just keep thinking. I'm still thinking. I think some people get tired like, I don't want to,

I don't still, I just don't do that. That's never me, though. Like, if I'm awake, I'm awake. I'm never like, I'm never like quiet. You know what I mean? Like, I'm quiet, but I'm not quiet at the same time. I'm a weird dude, man. The secret is, as long as you're smiling, you can convince yourself that you're actually feeling good, no matter how tired you are. I think you can. And I'm always, for the most part, smiling.

I mean, cool dudes like you hang out all the time, bro. I'm good, man. How can that be bad? It's a pleasure to have you on the show. Your story is amazing. We're going to dive into this. But I want to start off with the thing that you are an expert about, which is identity shift.

And break that down for us. What exactly does it mean to have an identity shift? So let's first go to the root of it, what's an identity, right? And we hear that, and a lot of people hear it and go, oh, it's this separate thing like a soul and a spirit. I'm like, nope, it's not. It is a very tangible, very real thing that a lot of people have rock and rolling in the background, but majority of the time,

we're completely unaware of the powered holds. Like it's thinking of like a computer, like we're on a computer right now, I am, you are, and we have this hardware, the screen, the microphone, these things are. This is the hardware, right? And then we have the software, we have programs. Well, the program, are like, you know, the Zoom we're using and Chrome we're using.

The software, the operating system runs it all. Now, for some reason, the operating system gets bogged down or something goes off. What happens to the programs? They crash, right? Doesn't matter how good the hardware is. I can have a brand new computer screen. Doesn't matter that I just download the software program. Because if that operating system goes kaput, I'm done.

Now, it's always in the background. You never see it. But in our life, that's our identity. And the programs, our relationships, our health, our wealth, our hobbies, right? our physical body is our body. So when we talk about identity, essentially there's this background thing running our life and we aren't running it. It's just there. It was built. It was created. When we were growing up, people told us things. We learned things. TV said stuff. Preacher said stuff. Teacher said stuff. Mom said stuff. Radio said stuff. All these things got woven in.

And we just kept living our life that way. And so what happens is when we get to a point of wondering, why don't I have certain things? It's not a matter of the information that you don't have. Because we all have great information that we don't use. We have it. It's who are you with it. Do you do anything with what you know? And not just do it to the level that feels good to you, because that's what we call the level of your identity. It's the peak of it. So when I say identity shift,

what I'm going to say, look, the identity you have right now has everything that you have. It's responsible for all the things you have. It's also responsible for everything you don't have because you don't do the things with what you know to get to that level. So when I talk about a shift, I'm saying let me shift you into the identity

that has all the things you want. Think of it like this, simple metaphor. Not even a metaphor, life experience. There are people that I work with, and I get to rock and roll. And they're like, oh, man, I can't get that done because I'm busy here. I got to have this conversation here. And, you know, I was going to do this thing right here. And, man, I'm going to have to wait until Monday.

And I said, okay, great. Hey, Tim, hold on a second, bro. You just told me what you wanted to accomplish. You said you want to do this, this and this, right? Yeah, you want to make more money. Right. Okay, great. With the person who has all the things that you want, make that excuse.

And it's like, oh, you're really. right. Yeah, I am right. And it's not, it's not because I'm special, but it's reality. And so I go at the end of the day, the reason that that's going on, it's not because you don't have the info because you do. It's not because you have the resources because you do. It's because you got to the point where your identity is opposed to stretching into it, said, I've got to find a way out of this. It's too hard. It's too difficult. It's no anything. And so when we shift, we shift to the identity that wouldn't even consider even, it wouldn't even cross the mind to think like that. It just gets done. They're not guessing.

So that's in a long answer, hopefully making sense. That's an identity shift. I think that so many people are not self-aware enough to even know what their identity is. And I think it's actually someone calling them out and I'm going, oh, you're right. I actually am like that or I'm not like that. Yeah. And we can find it, but you're right. But think about it.

I love the statement of it is hard to see the label when you are inside the jar. So good. How do you see it? Like you don't know. You're just doing your thing, and live in your life. You're like the tornado, but you're just running around. People are like, what are you doing? What do you mean?

What am I doing? Why are you always in a new relationship with the same chick with a different name? You know, I'm saying? Like, it's the same and it's because we don't see it. And it's okay. It's not something where you're always, I don't think I'm 100% self-aware. I never, I never could be. But I'm highly self-aware because of the work I'm constantly doing.

And that's a hard place to work into. But you don't have to live in self-awareness. You just have to be there for a moment and go, ooh, you know what? I don't like this life or I don't like this wife or husband. I don't like my body. I wake up for a second. And as opposed to convincing yourself, it's okay so you can sleep better at night. Wake up and go, I'm not okay with this, man.

It doesn't feel right. And we can all say that about anything and something in life. I can say it about things in life too, right? I go, oh, and then I have a choice. Choice one is I go ahead and make an ownership of this and go, there's something off. I got to work on it. I got to do it. Choice two typically is when people choose they go.

no, no, no, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm good. It's like, no, brother, is there something off? No, I'm good. I hear about it. I don't want to deal with it. Like, or make excuses to why we shouldn't work on it. And we get stuck in that same perpetual cycle because, to be honest, choice one is hard. It tests the ego. It makes us think there's something wrong with us and there never is, never was. And the moment that people can get to that point, like you said, of being aware of like, oh, dang, yeah, yeah, this kind of sucks. And own it. Like, if you can give yourself permission to suck, you can finally give you. You can finally give you. yourself permission to improve. And that 100% is a self-awareness area. What about the people who limit themselves in their identity? Oh, I'm not a runner. Oh, I'm big-boned. Oh, I never remember names. We hear that stuff all the time. Yeah. I don't know if they limit themselves. I don't know

if it's a limiting factor or a lazy factor. Because it doesn't come out. For example, I know I'm not a runner. I'm a bigger, I'm a bigger guy. I'm 6-1, like, 220. I'm not a long-distance runner. However, if I think about it, I could be. So when I say I'm not that, it's because I don't want to be that. I'm too lazy to be that. The problem isn't whether or not you are or not. It's whether not you think you are or not. And that's it. And it's what you choose to want to be. So, like, I'm not a singer, but I can try to sing. You know, I've made this agreement. And the human beings, we will say things and tell stories and then live in a way to make those right. So when I say I'm not X or not Y, I'm kind of also making a choice that I don't want to be that.

And that's also okay. But realize that it's not that you aren't this thing is that you don't want to be that thing. I think it's a difference if you can grasp that. Because if I said here and said, look, somebody told me I got a letter in the mail. And they said that if I can't run a marathon in the next 60 days are going to kill my kids, I'm a effing runner. You know what I'm saying? Like, I am a runner now.

I will be running all day long. And that's the difference. Do I want to? Am I motivated to? Yeah. You've had such an incredible life up to this point. Your story is amazing. So I want to dive into it a little bit.

And I want to know what was your identity when you were Anthony Trucks, the kid. Man, I didn't, I don't know if I had an identity. We'll say a kid. We'll get an age to it. We'll say six years old. Okay. So three years old I was given away, bounced around the system in the foster care world for a lot, really bad people that I had to live with by six years old. My identity was my mom doesn't want me.

The world doesn't care about me because his foster parents are kind of crazy. And I'm just, I'm just here. I don't have, I have no clue what I'm supposed to do. I'm just here present. There's no love. There's no affection. The developmental years of my childhood were horrible. And yeah, man, so that guy back then, my identity was non-existed. I mean, it existed, but in a negative manner to where, like, I didn't feel like I deserved or, needed or should get love. You know, it was a weird dynamic as things I wanted. But if your own mom doesn't give it to you,

what makes you think you deserve it? Right. So identity of that kid at six was just a vast, vastly sad little kid. And it sucks because he had no control over it. You know what I mean? Like I had no control over that child and what was going on there. And then it changed and shifted over the years. I got put into a family.

It's my family now. I was the only instilling, like, well, except my brother-in-law, the only black person in an all-white family. So I grew up in a weird, like, non-diverse area as the only kid that looked like this, really, really poor. And so the other part of identity is like, I'm an outcast, too, because I don't look like these people. I go to restaurants, people don't think I'm with them, getting made fun of it at schools or that part of it, you know? It's, it's tough, man. My entire childhood was this complete disarray and instability of a sense of who I was. And then I feel like this is from the outside looking in as your friend here, I feel like when

you found sports, your identity completely shifted. Oh, yeah, yeah, completely. Well, and not at first. Not at first. At first, it was anchored into the fact that I suck because I suck. So, right? But then what happened was it was the vessels, kind of the vehicle, maybe the vehicle. It was the vehicle and the catalyst.

Here's why I was the catalyst. The catalyst is the purpose, the reason. I wanted to be good at sports, right? Because that was the reason why I wanted to do better. It was also a vehicle for a shift because in order to, to actually become this stronger, more confident guy, needed some way to do that. And we can't, as human beings,

you can't achieve without transforming. And you can't transform without achieving. So if I wanted to transform into that guy, which that wasn't a goal, I had to achieve something, but I also wanted to achieve it first. I just want to be better at football. Well, in order to be better at football, I had to do some things as a human being to get there.

I had to do certain things, take certain actions, handle certain feedback, people making fun of me. And so what ended up happening is, while I was the catalyst, was the reason I wanted to get better, it was also a vehicle because as I did the things to become better as an athlete, I made this massive internal shift. I tell people that through my journey, I experience and learn that what you create creates you. And when I say create, if you think about like making something,

it's hard to make something. But once you've made it, you want the same person that happened to make that thing. You're the maker. Yeah. Right. So if I'm David, you know, or Michael, on making David, I didn't just sculpt a statute on that guy. I'm like, no, I'm a sculptor now. Yeah. And that's the difference. So football allowed me to become a football player,

which then shifted my identity into a different sense of confidence and hope for who I am. I mean, when you, when you get signed to an NFL team, that's your identity. Like, that becomes your identity, it becomes your identity for the rest of your life. You are either an NFL player or you're now a former NFL player and that'll be the thing that, like, is your title moving forward. Yeah, it locks in. And we'll find out in time I'm sure we'll get there, but it does it a good and a bad way, right? There's the problem with that,

we can go there now. The problem with locking in like the football's the identity or for you as the interviewer or whatever it is, right? Yeah. When your identity is there, I tell people it's kind of like a tree. And it's like, if you think about it, that was the fruit of our labor,

it's apple, the fruit of our label, it falls off the tree and it sucks, right? This apple, this fruit of football at some point falls off. Or military, it falls off. Kids go to college. A relationship fails. I lose a job. I lose some money. Somebody pass away. Something changes. Even if it's proactive, even if I left my job on purpose, right? I went somewhere else.

So that apple that you were building, it fell off the tree. And it can last for a little bit. You can last on the ground. Farmer can pick you up, take it at a store, go to somebody's house, but eventually you will rot. And that's how you feel inside, rotten. And the sucky part is a lot of people will live the rest of their lives this way. Never realizing that you have never been the fruit, you've always been the tree. But there's so many examples in, I'll use Hollywood as an example, I'll use some names that people are all familiar with. Nobody looks at Mark Wahlberg and goes, oh, that's just the guy from the Calvin Klein ad. That's just the guy from Marky Mark and the funky bunch. Nobody relates and goes, that's just that N-Sync guy.

We look at them and go, yeah, they're also an actor and a producer and all these other things that they've created. And the same way that the rock is not just a wrestler. Rock is, you know, now the biggest star in the world. Yeah. And it's funny as all these people, I bet you. I bet if you sat with them and asked them how many people really know you, they'd be like, no, nobody really knows me. Like they've done these things.

And us as society, we will identify them by those things. And they'll identify themselves as well. But their identity, it's none of what you listed. Because, I mean, I've talked to people. And they're like, yeah, I mean, people, they see my social and they see the videos and the movies. I show them stuff. But they don't, man, they don't really know me.

They don't really, really know me. And that's right there telling me like, okay, well, part of you, the different part your true self and identity. Like it's back behind the scenes. And that means you aren't what you did. And here's the thing is you can tell and gauge whether somebody truly has an anchored identity or not based on how they handle the setback. So for example, some people may lose a job or lose a career, whatever it is.

And they end up falling apart, shaving their heads and going to rehab centers. You know what I mean? And then some people, these things happen and they're like, all right, on the next thing. Yeah. And the difference essentially is where do they see their strength? That they see their strength in who they are? And they're like, hey, that's cool. I, I as a human, I know who I am. I can take this to a new project. I can create more fruit, more abundant fruit somewhere else. I'm going to do something else? Or do they go, I lost all of me. I lost my gig as an actor. I'm nothing now. Who am I without this, this gig? You know, it's like, that's a problem because now you are that thing. Now, do I think that these individuals you listed have solid identities? Yes, because they've all had ups and downs and they've all gone through hardships. So they probably have an anchored point of it, but it isn't what you listed. Yeah. Where was the shift for you? Because, you know, it was your dream to play in the NFL. You got signed to a deal. Then an injury took you out. Yeah. And that was it. Boom. It was over. Gone. I'm home, baby. No, I was, it sucks. Heck, it sucks. You know what I'm saying? It's sure. But I mean, it's the journey.

And I think that it happens in many times. And unfortunately for a lot of people, it happens. haphazardly by accident, right? It ends up being this thing for us in a world of going in and saying, well, where's this identity? When did it happen? And we've always done it but accidentally. And literally, as a kid, I did it at 15. I did it again when I became a dad at 20 years old in college in Oregon. I did it when I found my dad when I was in college. I did it when I was in the NFL and I went into that stage. I did it when I left the stage. I did it when I was divorced. The problem is most of the time we are reacting and not responding. What do you mean by that?

So when I go into a situation in life and I'm reacting, something crazy goes, it happens, all that falls apart. We have this inherent sense to just do something. It's like it's a reaction. You just do something, right? And quite literally, that's actually your identity showing up in true form. Because your identity really, it's who you are when you aren't thinking about who you are. It's just the things you do. How I respond, how I say things, how I see stuff, do I judge, do I not?

mystic, am I not, all these little pieces, the beliefs, the thoughts, they all just, they come flying through in moments. And like, when you can't, when you can't grab it back, it's like, oh, wait, that's really who I am. I said that thing. It's not PC, but it's who I am, right? That's who it is. But what I respond, that's a vastly different situation. Because what it says is, this happened, I would love to punch that dude in his face. But you know what? I'm not the kind of guy that does that in the parking lot. And that statement is, I'm not the kind of guy. I'm identifying as that's not who I am, right? Or someone pulls a cigarette out.

My gut would be like, oh, man, I want to smoke that because I'm a smoker maybe. I smoked that. Oh, yeah, that's a reaction. Oh, I just couldn't stop it. Or I can go, you know what? Bring me think about this for a second. The part of my brain that wants that satiation, like that would do it. But I am not a smoker.

I've identified, right? So the response and reaction, the difference, I believe is like, I get to choose who I want to become. And unfortunately for a lot of us, these identities, we reacted in life. You know, that something fell apart. My relationship fell apart. So I was like, I don't know. I started going to the club and next to know I'm with another woman.

I'm like, damn, I was even single for like a week, you know, like that happens. Or I lost this job and I need money and I just, what do I do? Someone's give me money, right? I react. I don't think like, what if I take this job and know other jobs available and what if I, you know, and something else happens. We don't think about that. We need this.

I need this. We react to life. And when you react throughout life, you're haphazardly creating your identity. But the cool thing is, once you've identified as something, it gives you a sense to actually have more of a power of response. Because then I can have these moments happen still. And I go, ah, you know what?

It's not who I am. I don't want to be a stripper. I know I'm broke, but I'm not about to show my dangles out there. You know, like whatever may be. But there's these things that happen. And we can respond and in doing so, you can actually start crafting your identity the way you want it to be. So at the core of this, Anthony, are you saying that anyone can be anything that they want to be?

No, anyone can be anyone they want to be. It's a difference, right? Having anything, having something and being someone who has it is different. The two different things. To be the person who has a million dollar house, that's something besides having it. For example, I can have it and be a trashy human being. I could be a guy that Rob cheated and stole to get that house. or I can also be a person that's caring and loving and has family that's sick,

come live with them, right? And I'm the person that has that. What kind of person you are with it that matters, you know? But yes, anybody can be anyone and anyone can be confident and have self-esteem and have drive and compassion and work ethic and also, Chris, different goals. So when I say I can be anyone, I can be someone that has a billion dollars. I could be that guy. I mean, you could be that guy.

but I don't want that life. Dude, I love my life the way it is. I could be that and have that if I really shot for the stars. It's possible. I believe in the world of worlds. It's possible, but I would do a lot more than I want to do, right? So it's not who I am, and that's okay. I'm the guy who loved my life.

Therefore, I can do this. But it's a choice I chose to be this guy that has his life. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Is there something interfering with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You can start communicating in under 48 hours. Now, this isn't a crisis line. This isn't self-help.

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if they want to make a shift in their life? You can't do anything ever, ever, ever, no. It's great you ask. So there's actually a process that I created years ago called the shift method. It does all of this stuff. And there's obviously a lot of in-depth work that we do. do. However, the top level, we'll call it the 50,000 foot. What it is, it's three steps. See, shift, sustain. That's it. See, shift, sustain. And this is how it works. It's simple. The shift portion is the work. It's the actual things that we do to make the shift. That takes planning, processing, and execution that most people will be, unfortunately, will never get to in their life. We just somehow, I extracted it from my life. I looked at near science and psychologists and said, what if I tried this and made some weird

stuff and then put it into the world, people do it, people love it, people get great results. That's the work, right? The thing is, though, most people in life will jump to a certain level of work. They'll go and say, I want to be like so-and-so. I'm going to do what they do. So they start doing those things. And what happens, they get to like 45, 50 years old and go, damn, who am I? I was following my boss and I was falling this guy on the TV and I was following X, Y, and Z. And, man, I feel like I climbed this ladder and I got to the top and I realized it was leaned against the wrong building. Like, what is this?

Right? So I've realized that that shift work, we jump into far too early. It's why the C phase has to come first. The C phase allows you to go in and say, hey, what are my unique and individual sticking points? What's in my blind spot that's holding me back? Because when you got something there, it doesn't even allow you to dream in a vision that could be great.

Because when we think we can't do something, I don't even put it into my perspective of what I can accomplish. If I think I'm stupid and whatever it is, I don't think I can go and lead a program or be a teacher, right? I can't even have that dream right now. But when I go back and go, oh, I'm not stupid. I'm just lexic. I got to do it different, right? Okay, cool. Oh, then maybe I could do this, this, this, this, right? I can see farther. And then also it allows you to see what I call your pinky finger power. When I did American Ninja Warrior, I learned that when you're training your grip strength, on your hand, the most insignificant fingers, your pinky to a lot of us.

It's a pinky finger. It's for putting up in the air when you sip on tea, right? But the reality is you cut the pinky finger off, you lose 50 plus percent of your grip strength. Wow. Right? Insignificant, incredibly powerful in comparison. So I found that when you can see these things and you as are human, you go, wow, okay, now I see what's in my blind spots. I also get to see what's unique to me. And then I can also see where I can go with this.

Now I know who I want to be because I've now said, here's where I'm at. That's the identity I want to go to to get to that level. There's a gap here. I know my power. How will I close that gap? Well, now I go and say, let me do the shift work. Because now I know what the right work is. And it might be different. For a lot of people, unfortunately, they're doing work that's in comparison to a horrible scale.

They compare themselves to this world's scale, right? So it's like, I want to accomplish this thing. And they go do some work and accomplish it. The world goes, oh, you only made $100,000. You didn't make $150. He didn't make a million. Didn't make a billion. And every day you're like, oh, I worked so hard for that.

It was worthless. No, it wasn't worthless. It's worthless in comparison of that scale, but that scale sucks. It just does. So I go, what's my scale, man? What's great for me? So when I go to that shift work,

I know what my gap to close it, what matters in my life and what's good. Like I said before, I'm in season of dad right now, which means that when four o'clock hits, like, I'm off the clock, dude, I'm at home. I'm picking kids up from school. I am dad going to swim practice,

sitting in a car, all that normal stuff. And a lot of people would be like, bro, but you could do do do-da-da-da-da. It could be on this. I could, but it would mean I have to choose in the evening to keep on working instead of keep on loving on my kids. Yeah.

So my scale is gauged on that. So if someone goes, but what are you doing? Well, you ain't here. Like, you're right. I'm not there. And guess what? Based on my scale, I'm right here and I'm great. And I feel good about that.

And that's cool. So when I'm shifting, I am looking at that guy that I want to be. And I do the work to shift into that guy. The last part of it, if someone's like, hey, what do I do? Well, first you said, see, take a, look at your life, self-awareness. Two, do the work to actually progress the direction you want. Third thing is sustain. Now, sustain it's simply saying, say the course. Those are three. Where I want to go, do the actual work to shift in that identity, sustain it over time.

If you do not sustain it, it will fall back where it went, like, where it came from. Like a lot of people, if you're in business, there's always ups and downs. Because what you do to get to the top, you stop doing because you get lazy, like, oh, I got there, and then you slide back down before you know it and you go back up again. All the time it happens to people. So I'm like, okay, take a look at your life and you are, how can you sustain the identity you're in now, and also sustain a desire for more. It doesn't mean that I don't love what I have. I do, but also humans are happier in motion. The magic of life is in the motion. Like if I'm just sitting here doing nothing, like if I'm here

by myself, not talking to you, I'm cool, but not as happy as I am right this moment talking. I'm in motion, right? There's something to that. We as humans, there's a joy in expression. And that's why we like working out. We like running. We like competing. We like doing. We find joy in doing. For me, it's like make sure that that's doing in the right direction.

Since you're in dad mode right now, is it a difficult shift to go from husband mode to dad mode? Well, I've been a dad before husband. I was that cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I did it the right way, you know. No, I mean, it's kind of one of the same because at the end of the day, being a great dad is heavily tied to, in my opinion, being a great example. And when I look at what

I want my kids to have as spouses later, it's got to be kind of like my wife and myself. I want my daughter to know what kind of man to be able to be around. If he doesn't treat you in a certain way, like, don't be with that guy. And then I want my boys to know, like, this is how you treat somebody, how you love, respect, care, and how so succeed when you have to as a man, right? And at the same time, I want my boys to know, like, that's the kind of woman I should have my wife aspire to be, not like my mom, but, you know, respect, care, hard work, love. Like, she, if, look at qualities and go, I like those qualities, right? And also my daughter would be like, okay, that's how I am a good wife or good spouse.

I'm not saying like, subservient. I'm not even the case in my family, but it's like, I want my kids to see it. So when you say what's the difference, it's actually one of the same or I'm doing something wrong, I think, right? How I show up relationship wise for my wife is obviously vastly different. Sure. But they all tie together because also my marriage, it wouldn't work if I wasn't a great parent. You know, I think it's a unique synergy that has to happen for all that to be well.

If you're the identity guy, you're the shift guy, you must be holding a mirror up every single day, looking at yourself going, man, am I doing this right? You have to. If I didn't do this work, I could not teach it. I am a creepy integrity guy. Dude, I do not like being out of integrity. I don't even like people that bubble on out of integrity. It unsettles the dog crap out of me. Because it's one of these things where of all the things in life, like just if you don't have integrity, things will always be awkward around you. You'll do things, say things, take money.

You do the things that are like small pieces that damage massive parts of life. Like I, for example, my son, he found 20 bucks a day. He was in elementary school and gave us it a teacher. bro, I was one of the greatest things that he's ever done. Like it made my heart swell. Because some parents would be like, why you get that money back? We could have 20 bucks home, right?

Someone will do that. And I'm like, no, bro, he acted in integrity. And that'll get him far more because you're going to have to do what's right even when no one else wants to do it. Even if it feels wrong, if it's a right thing to do and it's so hard, you've got to do that. And so when I look at all these things like, that's a big, big piece of who I am and I want my kids to operate,

how I want to operate. So, yeah, I don't know where the question previously that was going, to be honest, I just don't start to answer good integrity. If we want to ask it again, you can't. Like, no. No, that was, I mean, that was perfect. I said, do you have to hold it up every day? Yeah.

So for me, when I show up my everyday life, I do it in a way knowing that I can talk about this, speaking about this. And no one's going to come up and go, yeah, but you didn't do this, this and this. You said to do this and you aren't following suit. Like, I tell people all the time, I at any given time, have four weeks out of my calendar. I talk about it a lot. Every Sunday, I won't go to have been. bed until I've got that four weeks in my calendar because I, God forbid, someone in a Zoom call says,

Hey, Anthony, can you show me your calendar? You said you got four weeks out and I only got two. That's a little thing. It's a little thing, right? You plan the next four weeks of your life and your business? I can any given, this is week one. I can any given time. Oh, you writes it down, like physically. It's, oh, it's physically and digital, three and four. And actually, I think it went five. I got a little, a little, no, that's the fifth week right there. But I, I'm five weeks out of the calendar. What's going on? If I don't have that, dude, that I feel like I'm out of integrity because I talk about it all the time.

Yeah. That's the thing. So when I lead this stuff, I'm doing this stuff. Yeah. It's say what you do and do what you say. That's what it is. It has to be, man. You've had some shifts in your life,

and I'm curious to know, if we look at a few different parts of your life, what's the biggest lesson you learned? Start with the NFL. What's the biggest lesson you learned from the NFL? In the NFL, man. NFL, that was the, there's a lot of stuff in the NFL, dude.

but I'll tell you one. One is you got to get, they say you got to get comfortable being uncomfortable. It's a very uncomfortable environment. And I'm going to say this, and I don't believe that people are really fully grasped when they hear that, what this means. So let me think of it like this.

Whenever I hear people say comfortable being uncomfortable, what I've noticed is people think it means be okay, just be okay, be uncomfortable. And I took it to a level of understanding in NFL of what it really meant. And what it really means is this, If I think being like comfortable, I'm thinking, man, wintertime fires out. Like I got hot chocolate, fan was in the couch, I got a blanket.

I got my favorite movie rolled up. I can't wait to watch. It's a new release maybe. It's an Avengers movie. I don't know what, right? I'm feeling good. And then what happens is like that, dude, that makes my stomach feel warm and comfortable. And if you don't have that level of comfort with problems or, you know,

uncomfortable situation where they come, you're going to falter and struggle in life. because in the NFL, every single day they told you, you're going to get cut, you can get a job, someone wants your job, you made a mistake, keep doing that, you're going to send you home. And you're away from your family. No one here cares about you because you're taking food out of their family's mouth, right? And you've got to go out there and give all of your physical body every day when you're tired, when you're hungry, when you're beat up.

It pulls at every emotional string. It is so uncomfortable. The only way you stick around is if you find some weird way to enjoy that. it's dude I'm telling you it's it's it's super odd but in my life right now bro I love problems I'm in the midst of I wouldn't call them problems but I'm in this like I call it the hockey stick all of a sudden that this pandemic is ending and my life is shooting up for the opportunities it's the hockey sticking and a lot of people I promise if I sat down and it's a lot pause pull back figured out I'm like speed up dog like bro I love this stuff it's palpable and I have a different

sense of engagement with it, but it's because discomfort kind of turns me on, dude, because I get to see what I'm made of. And so football, it taught me that from a physical standpoint, but mentally now, I can apply that in so many areas, and I don't have as much fatigue or drain. So when most people are like, oh, bro, you get a lot going on, like you just take a pause, like take a little vacation. For what, dude? I worked for this. You know how many years I worked to get to the point where I feel like I want to quit? It sounds crazy, but that's what it dials into, man. Yeah, well, they say the NFL is, you know, stands for not for long. I'm curious if you had a plan when you were going into the NFL, what you were going to do after, whether it was one season, three seasons or 20 seasons.

After, I was in open trucks is trunks. I'm dead serious. Trucks is trunk. What's that? So whenever I was in high school, I used to do a lot of car stereo installation, even in college, the car stereo installation. I was like, I'm going to open up a car stereo place and to be called Trucks as Trunks. That was my plan. Now, when I went to school, I got a degree in kinesiology. So when I came home, I actually did focus on like opening a gym. I didn't have a plan, but I did have an idle hands. And so I got hurt August 8th, 2008. And I had surgery. I wanted to say like Octoberish of 2008. And then I opened a gym that opened January of 2009. I just asked.

So four months from me being on a football field, yeah, we went to Pittsburgh Steelers in August, four months later, I was opening a gym back home. Oh my gosh. I'm an idle hands dude. I just,

I like to do things. And so that was what it was, man. I just, I rocked and rolled. And that was the beginning of life. I've never really been out of the public eye. I was thinking about this,

my wife the other day. Ever since I was in high school, I was the guy in the newspapers and all that kind of stuff from like sophomore year, guy in the newspapers from there to college, from college of the NFL. fell NFL, NFL to the gymmed on stage. Since I was 16 years old, I've never not been like in the front of things and active.

And it's a speed that I'm normalized to now. It's kind of a weird thing when I think about it like that. But yeah, dude, like I didn't have a plan. The plan was just not to slow down. You know, The Rock told me something in an interview years ago that's always stuck with me. Because, you know, the Rock's dream was to play in the NFL. He got cut from the CFL. And, you know, the Rock never made it.

And I asked him if he could go back and change anything. he? And he said, no, I wouldn't change anything because sometimes the best things in life are the things that don't happen. And can you imagine how different your life would be if you didn't get injured? If you played a season or two or 20 with the Steelers, it'd be a completely different life. A whole different life. I'd have different friends. I wouldn't probably know you, to be quite honest. But that's the truth of it all. It's the nature of the beast, dude. And I actually appreciate this because my brain is healthy. I have a physical. body that's a little beat up, but they can hang. But the reality is, is this comes to that tree thing, right?

I have, in my life now, I believe I have more and sweeter fruit than I ever could have playing in the NFL. I don't have to worry about a job being here, not there tomorrow. My body's not the thing that I'm hoping sticks around so I can keep on playing it. It's not, it's not up and down, because NFL, dude, it is up and down. You're hot today and you are hot never again sometimes, you know, like it's just this weird and someone else is in full control of your life. Like I know at any given time where I'm going to be for the next two months, three months, be here at this time at five o'clock, eat this, go here, show it. Don't do this. It's like, oh, it sounds good, but it's a different breed of life. Whereas now, right, and get up, take my kids

at school. I can pick them up from school. I can choose to do work I want to do and not want to do. I get to express myself. It's different. Like, I would love to put a helmet on. Hell yeah, I want to go run down one time. But after that, bro, like, what do you do? And so I'm in an enduring situation where life is vastly better. Let's look at the time when you were in foster care. What's the biggest lesson that you take away from that portion of your life? Foster care was people suck, man. People kind of suck.

I mean, but the reality is at the same time, man, people are supposed to suck. It gives you the ability to have the gauging of the difference of what's going on. Now, for me, dude, I realize that we want. I want everybody to be great around us, but I think if you don't have the thing that people suck and realize that people are great because of that, you miss that on life. Because here's what I do believe. The best and worst parts of life are people. Period. The best things in my life are people. The worst things are people. Now, when I look back at foster care, people suck. And it doesn't mean that people suck and it can't change. I've realized that people suck most of the time because they were not given the right tools. Somewhere on the lines that they missed out on the homeschool and home training, they needed to become better people. and it's like as opposed to being pissed, I have compassion. And that's a little different, right? And so when I look at it that way, it's like, man, foster care was this thing where it was,

it was one thing that I absolutely do not like that it happened, but I appreciate it because there's also a statement I live by, which is a smooth sea makes not a skilled sailor. So in life now, dude, when things pick up and the whole world goes crazy like we just had, bro, everybody else is under the deck, riding the waves out, crying, hope it doesn't capsize, bro. I'm on the deck of the ship, sipping tea, singing songs and rain. It's a different environment for I live my life, dude, and it's a lot

more fun. Sipping tea with your pinky out, of course. All day, bro. You got to have the pinky out, pimp. Did you ever connect with your mom? Did you ever get to- haven't talked to her. Haven't talked to her. Yeah, no, I haven't talked to her. Is that something you want to do? Nope. She's crazy, dude. Last time I talked her was 2000 and, when my son was born, and she was still claiming that the state of California had paid the government, $10,000, sorry, paid... State of California paid her boyfriend $10,000 to beat her up

so they could take us from her. Super weird, dude. Wow. Super weird dynamics. And I'm like, well, you're trying to tell me that the state paid some arbitrary dude money to take some kids they didn't want? What are you talking about? I'm like, I'm like, I'm 20 years old.

I'm like, I'm not a child anymore. Can you tell me the truth? That's what happened. I was like, right? when you want to tell them the truth, feel free to call back. And that was 17 years ago. Wow. What's the biggest lesson you've learned from being a father?

Biggest lesson is I know far less than I think I know. And I'm not talking about parenting. I'm talking about life. It's one of those things where kids teach you a lot if you're willing to learn the lessons. I don't mean they sit there with a pencil and paper and teach you. I mean, they teach you through their experiences of you, what they tell you of you, that they see of you, and they teach it through like a reflective mirror, to be quite honest. It's even a matter of watching how they live their life, right?

It tells you whether or not you're doing it right, because they'll do what they see, not what you say. And I think that is one big thing that for me, in my opinion, like that's taught me a whole hell of a lot as a dad. And it's also one thing, like you've got to respect everybody, even if you're in a position of power. Because I want my kids to have self-respect in the world, which means they'll put their foot down when they shouldn't have something happen to them.

if they'll stand up for themselves, but not if they don't feel like they have the reason to be respected. And so who is the most core person on people to make them feel like they have respect or should be respected parents. So if I do something wrong, I'll let them know like, hey, man, I drop the ball, dude. I messed up. I love you. I'm dab, but I'm not, I'm not perfect. I'm not infallible. And I believe that is one big piece that a lot of parents miss is like you got to be able to apologize to your kids. You have to. Yeah. And finally, since you're owning the stage now, what's the big lesson, the big takeaway from sharing the stage with people like Brennan Burchard or other huge names?

Yeah, dude, it's weird, bro. That's the hockey stick, dude. I'm all of a sudden, it's weird. Here's the thing. I think people, they look at it like I'm a special dude. I'm sitting here in basketball shorts and slippers. You know, like I'm in my office. You don't even have to be wearing shorts.

We'd never know. Zoom. Yeah, you're right. But I think of it like, I'm a regular guy. And I would tell people this, I'm a regular dude. with an irregular desire to help people. That I can promise you for sure. And I think that a lot of people have,

like you say, what's it like to be in the stages? It's still me. I just have other people around me. That's the only way I can explain. It's just, it's other thing. So for me, when I look at it, I try to explain to people that like, it's cool and it's a great experience,

but like this is not my, I haven't made it. To be honest, I live by this concept of the idea by my life is not to be like, I'm not happy with the destiny. I fall in love with my day, not just the destination. Because I'm going to have a lot of destinations, man.

One of them I've landed on is like, I get to May 27th. I'm going down to Arizona to film with Dean and Tony and Lewis and Prince. And like, cool guys that are all going to be in Arizona, right? Then I'm going to get to go speak on stage for the 5,000 people, share it with Tony Roberts again. Like, he's a dude.

You know, he's a dude in the game. Brennan Breschard, but he is like my godfather in this whole industry. He's the one that entered me into it. And most people are like, man, I'm taking nothing from those men. They are phenomenal humans and women that we get to work with. But I love my day more than I love that. Because if I only shot for that, I would live my days unhappy, wait until I got there.

So that's all cool, man. Like, I love getting up in the morning and getting my protein chocolate peanut butter oatmeal. And then I love going from that to get my kids up and taking my kids to school and bugging them while they get dressed and then hugging my wife in the morning. And then I come back and hang on my meetings and then when they're done, I get to go get my kids. and I get to spend time like, dude, that, I love all that. The cool thing is within that, I am doing things that lands me in cool destinations like that. So, like, it is amazing. I love these guys.

I love picking their brains. I love being in the realm. But the cool thing is, like, I don't even go in those spaces like, is it going to work with? I'm not even apprehensive because, like, that's not the show for me. The show was a couple days before watching my daughter swim because that's my life I created, right? This stuff is cool stuff that helps that. But like it's a different, it's a different ease for my life, man. But it is, man.

I'm not going to lie. It is incredibly humbling to know that the process and the work that I've put in has turned into something where like the world is starting to see the ability to prove, right? It's hockey sticking. It's hockey sticking because. You asked me a question on your podcast that I had a very difficult time answering. And I want to ask you that same question before we wrap things up. So this is like the second time.

Someone's done this to me. What promise did God make to the world? He created you. I can't hear you. I'm going through a tunnel. What a powerful question. Stop me in my tracks when you asked me. What promise did God make to the world when he created me?

Yeah, it's a good question, man. Right? It's pretty dope. To be quite honest, I think the answer, I think the answer ends up being something where for me, I'm going to give you the, I've heard 250 of these answers. answers. And there's two areas that I think really coveted, and I'm going to give you my answer. One is the best ones I hear are based in the realm of service. Because the question is, what promised that God gives it a world, right? It wasn't that I'd be dope. That wasn't the promise he gave.

I think that the promise that God gave of my life was I would be one of the ones that serve his people. Because I take it, some people take it as the creator and that bigger thing. I look at as a faith basis, a man that believes in God and loves God. He created me not to serve. myself, but to serve him. And in service to him, I serve as people. So there's a piece of that. I also believe that he created me as an example of how to live a life

that most people don't think exists. So I went through a lot of hardship. And most people would be, if you heard my backstory and I told you I was a career criminal, you'd be like, I get it, man. A kid had a rough go of it. You know, that would be, you would accept that. Sure.

But instead, I was like, I'm going to create a damn cool life because I want to be an example to the people that he wants me to serve that, look, I have lived through some dark crazy like you're living through. And I'm telling you there's a better way. I'm telling you it's possible to have something amazing. And I believe God's promise was saying, look, I'm giving you guys hardships so you can experience hardship. But I'm also giving you someone who's done it who can help you get better. I've loved this conversation.

Yeah, me too, dude. Thank you so much. I end every conversation talking about gratitude. You see it behind me here. Be grateful. Be grateful, because. And I think that if you can be grateful, you will live a great life. So what are three things

in your life that you're grateful for right now? I am grateful for one, I'm heavily grateful for my wife. She is a damn trooper, bro. And people don't even know the full story. But if they do, go look it up. It's a good story. We have a weird love story. It's kind of odd, but it's cool. But she is the one that allows

my crazy to be accepted and actually allows me to do what I do, right? Because to be with someone who would not understand or lie to do something that is a passion of yours, it's very confining. But I feel more free in my relationship than a human can imagine. Like I don't have any barriers, any walls. I get to do for the most part whatever I want, but to an extent, right? I understand the relationship and how it works. So like, which lets me be me. I love that. I am incredibly grateful for the family God's given me. And when I say family, I am not talking about the people in my house.

Family because of my foster care, I've realized it extends far past the blood. So my family here, my extended family, and I would consider you like family. We're this humongous planet of people all connected. There's a different sense of family. God has given me an amazing family from the one that gave me away. You know, like you said,

hey, you don't need to be with them. Like, I'm going to give you a better one. And we've created a really cool global family, just dope people that I have some odd way of meeting and interacting with. The third thing that I'm incredibly grateful for is the heart of me that's the like the metaphysical heart because I think that God could have easily given me vastly different skills and abilities and everything and a different heart to do different stuff and a different body right.

But man, he gave me this vessel. We'll call it the vessel beyond the heart. He gave me this vessel to do some cool stuff. And so I'll anchor like I know that I'm not an ugly person. And I hate that this is the way our world works. So people, they look at people who aren't, you know, attractive and there's something like they don't pay attention to it. It's super odd the way that humans have the psychology of like, they'll listen to someone. People think a man that's six foot tall and handsome must make six figures.

Why is our psychology that way? I don't like it, but it's the reality. But I feel like God gave me the ability to do that. He also put me in a position of play in the NFL. I think God also gave me the ability to have a heart of compassion and love for people. He also gave me all the hardships, all the craziness. And I'm grateful for all those things. He gave me a crazy, crazy life, but also gave me the heart, compassion and not in a dog.

adoptive mom to love me so that at the end of the day, this vessel that's experienced all these things simply had the ability to be on a certain level, we'll call it a pedestal, in a position to make an impact. I'm grateful that I was given a vessel and given experiences that allow me to be in a place where people will just listen. Now, what I say, I have to work on what I say, but at least I'm in a position to have people listen so I can make this world better. I love it. Thank you so much, brother. Very welcome, my dude.

I love these kinds of conversations. Man, big thank you to Anthony for spending his time with us. And a bigger thank you to you for being on this audio adventure with us. I hope you were taking notes during this. And if not, written notes or notes, you know, typed down in your iPhone. I hope you were taking some mental notes here because he was speaking some powerful truths. Take a screenshot. Let us know what stood out for you the most in this one.

Tag Anthony on social media. at Anthony Trucks. Tag me. I am at Chris Van Fleet. And I'll leave you with a quote from Anthony Trucks himself. I love this. The secret to a new and better life isn't a shift in mindset, but a shift in identity. Be great. Be grateful, my friends. Have a great weekend. We'll see you on the next one. For some more insight. The Hammer Alley podcast, an 80s flashback mockumentary. Back in the 80s, There were a thousand bands trying to make it in the world of rock. But there was one band that had it all. Hammer Alley.

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