Is It Just Me? - #1: Our First Show!

Episode Date: October 3, 2019

When customer service small talk goes too far (05:17)The song in 'Greatest Showman' that wasn't actually sung by the actor (8:29)The ridiculous online shopping purchase that only cost 53c - including postage (13:11)Ben Fordham 'Coughing Fit Chicken' prank call (15:22)There's 1 thing every successful show has. Now we have it too (22:19)Our "Secret Segment" ADDebrief (33:48)Calling Ben Fordham back (37:00)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. This is it. This is the big one. This is for the girls. This one. Some things make more sense than others. Lindsay Lohan punched in the face after trying to take a boy away from a mother. You're a good little boy. I won't leave until I take you.

Brace yourself for observations you didn't ask for. That's the line. I see it quite clearly. Get new glasses. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Cinder, one Mitch is clearly better than the other one. I can agree more.

Now, here's Mitch Churley and Mitchell Coombs. Well, here we are. Oh, okay, so you're going to talk to us, are you? Well, I just assumed. Actually, I don't know why I did that. Sorry. It's my radio thing coming out. Well, I'll tell you what I'm used to.

As someone who is not on air and radio, I'm not used to people talking to me the way you're currently talking to me. How am I talking? You're in radio mode. Oh, I know. You've got to relax. I'm going to shake it off. It's a podcast.

I'm used to forward announcing, back announcing. In the next 15 minutes. Well, I'm about to steal that job from you. Welcome to the very first episode of Is It Just Me? Let me tell you people how this is going to work, all right? We kick off each show with an Is It Just Me each. We haven't told each other what it's going to be, so we may agree or disagree. And then we end every show with a bit of fun.

I suppose this is where you're in a radio guy. I give you permission for your radio guy to come back. I'm looking forward to it, like segments and stuff. Yeah, got a lot of games, I suppose this is where your inner radio guy, I give you permission for your radio guy to come back. I'm looking forward to it. Like segments and stuff. Yeah, got a lot of games, pranks up our sleeve. Like today, for example. I don't know, you're thrilled about this one. God, it's just, why am I the one who has to do this?

Well, because you're the one always bragging about your celebrity contact book. So it's Coughing Fit Chicken coming up. And you go through your celeb contacts and more or less channel your inner emphysema patient. We're not calling Robert Wilson, I just want to... Obviously it hasn't happened yet, but I'd like to take this opportunity to tell my future self to edit in a little preview of what's going to happen.

I just want to get a little bit of your advice. I... You alright? What the... There we go, coughing bit chicken happening later on. Also, there is one thing that every successful show has that we currently do not, but we will have it before the end of the show. Talent.

We're going to get talent by the end of the show. No. What is it? I would only say it's the backbone. We don't have it yet. A budget. We haven't zero money. No, I can't promise that.

All right, let's introduce ourselves. I'm Mitch. I'm also Mitch. That's why it's a couple of Mitches. No, actually, you promise that. All right, let's introduce ourselves. I'm Mitch. I'm also Mitch. That's why it's a couple of Mitches. No, actually, you know what? Why don't I introduce you and you introduce me? Yeah, cool. I actually hate talking about myself.

I just felt my face get hotter. I hate talking about myself. So, yeah, okay, cool. Let's do this. Dear me. What can I say about Mitch Turi over here? Hi. Well, we've already established that you do radio.

You're on Air Kiss FM. That's very nice. You are very extroverted. You're very bubbly. You're very friendly. You're good at small talk. You're not shy. You're very desperate for attention, I have to say.

That is not true. You're one of those people that kind of walks into a room and just owns the room. You command the attention of everyone, whether they like it or not. I'm a human Dyson. Thanks a lot. Yeah, literally. Just sucks the air out of anything. Not meant to be an insult, but yeah.

It came across as an insult. Great. People can't wait to meet me. I sound like a whole bunch of fun. Well, let me introduce you, Mitchell Coombs. Okay. You're kind of like the sex worker of the entertainment industry. The hell? You do a bit of everything. You're kind of like the sex worker of the entertainment industry. What the hell?

You do a bit of everything, you know what I mean? People could come to you. I mean, you're very well known on social media. You're a bit of a social media phenomenon. Haven't you got more followers than me? Yeah, I think I do. On Instagram, you do. But that's very different.

Let's not talk about how many Instagram followers you have. No, I hate that. I think it's awful. That's what the Sydney Gays did. Look what happened to their podcast. True, true. Let's not start with that. You are, dare I say it, a Bogengate kid.

And that's all we're going to say. No, trust me, because someone who listens will go, I know it. I'm moving on from that. That was very cute. It was five years ago. I remember when I saw that, and I was so jealous of you when I saw that. Were you? Yeah, I was jealous.

Oh, God, I am an attention seeker. I was jealous of your attention. There you go. You are all over the internet. Very, very, one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. Oh, thank you. You're a social media producer. Yes. One of the biggest radio shows in the internet. Very, very one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. Oh, thank you. You're a social media producer. Yes.

One of the biggest radio shows in the world. You can be seen on TV nowadays. Do stuff for Channel 10. Oh, yeah. Hashtag Millennial Mitch. Get it trendy. I've got to say, you're making me sound much better than I am, but I'm not going to argue.

Thank you very much. You didn't mention, but I'm a very nice person. Because you want people to like you. No, I am a nice person. You give compliments that you don't mean because you're desperate. I was so nice. You know what? Let's start the show.

People can really, they can make up their minds for themselves. Welcome to Is It Just Me? We're a couple of Mitches. Follow us on all the socials. Please do. At couple of Mitches. That's us. We start the show the same every week with our idjems.

Yeah, I'm really not sold on calling them idjems. But anyway, we've got one each, like I said. Are you going to go first with this too? You spoke first. You may as well swoop in and take this one. No, no, you anyway, we've got one each. Like I said, are you going to go first with this too? You spoke first. You may as well swoop in and take this one. No, no, you can do it. You go first. Actually, I don't want the pressure of being the first idjam.

So you go first. I don't want it either. This is like public speaking in primary school and you have to talk about water restrictions. No one wants to get up first. I had to do a speech about, like, sun safety and why you should wear sunscreen and shit. You're in the country.

I quoted Avril Lavigne. What did you say? I said, well, as Avril Lavigne said, you make me so hot, you make me want to drop, much like the sun. Wear sunscreen, kids. All right, should we jump in? Go for it.

Is it just me or... Is going to restaurants a great way to make friends? Make friends? Just dip your feet into the waters of people you've never met before and cling on to them and make them your own. What do you mean? Like, are you just going up to cafes and just finding people that are sitting by themselves?

No. Minding their own business? No. This is very you. Like I said, you command the room. You just walk in and go, hey, be my friend. Is that what you're talking about? What I mean is, you know when you go to a restaurant

and this isn't people in the restaurant. This is staff, by the way. I'm talking strictly people that are serving me. Because the way I think about it, they're having a pretty shitty day. If you're making baristas at McDonald's at 9pm on a Thursday night, you're going to want to have a chat. You're going to want to get something out of it other than your money. You get very intrusive though.

How? You ask their whole backstory. You're like, oh, what's that accent? Oh, how long have you been here? Oh, okay. When was your visa approved? Like you seriously, I've been with you at eateries. Oh, my favourite place.

You do do that. I think at least maybe 30 to 40 people in my friends list or my Instagram followers list I have met because they've been serving me food at restaurants. I was at a restaurant last week. Thai restaurant. Love me some Thai. Love mango and sticky rice. So yeah. And I walk up, sit down, instantly we have a

connection. She's Spanish. Her name's Cleo. Cleo Manini. She follows me. Absolutely love her. She moved to Fiji recently to be with her lover. Her lesbian lover. Of course you know that. This is what I mean. It's none of your business.

And guess what happened? Halfway through the meal, she sat down. And she went, I don't know. I don't know what to do, guys. What's wrong, Cleo? This is the most you thing I've ever heard. I'm there with my partner. And he's like, why are you doing this to me?

I'm with Hayden on that. No, I think it is totally fine. And if you don't want to be with someone who does this, you can leave. Can I just say, guess what it got us? What? Free spring rolls and free pork. Really? Yeah, didn't have to pay for it.

Because we charmed her. I mean, I've got her on Facebook, Instagram. We talk. She replies to all my stories. I think we're actually quite good friends. I just have a feeling that you think you're better friends than you actually are. She was out last night. Oh, my God.

So she's probably in bed hungover. I'll message her. Okay. Should we try and get her on? Okay, no. This is typical of you to try and hog the entire show. Sorry. No, we are not calling her right now.

I said, how clear, how's things with you and your GF? All right, well, I'll see if she replies. I could be proven wrong, but I just think that you force yourself on people. True, but can I just make one closing point? Yes? One closing point. The way you and I met was in an elevator. And guess what? What? I thought you were here to deliver food. I thought you were a caterer. So I made a conversation. I said hi. And look, we have a podcast together. So it's working.

Yeah. Wow. So is that the prerequisite of being your friend? You have to be serving you. Food has to be involved somehow. You should follow these idiots online. Search couple of Mitches. You're listening to Is It Just Me? So in answer to your question, yes, it is just you that likes to interrogate hospitality staff who've done nothing to deserve it.

I'm so glad I went first. My first idiom and I get torn to shreds. Sorry. Just jump into yours. I want to see how you go. Yeah, rightjum and I get torn to shreds. Sorry. Just jump into yours. I want to see how you go. Yeah, right. Well, it's only up from here, people. I promise.

Is it just me or? Did you have no idea that one of the songs in Greatest Showman was bloody lip synced? Wait, so the person playing it wasn't the one actually singing? That's what I'm saying. Have you seen this film? It's very I'm saying. Have you seen this film? It's very big last year. I have seen the film. Is this the bearded lady?

No, it's not the bearded lady. She can sing, let me tell you. Can she? I'm pretty sure they'd want to be a they, wouldn't they, with the beard? No, it's definitely a she. Really? Yes. Okay, good for them.

I'm just trying to make everyone laugh. You are terrible. I didn't know that. What song? It's that one that was performed by that really tall, beautiful, slender ranger. This one. Never enough. Oh, this is beautiful.

Now, I didn't think the movie was that great. Yeah. The soundtrack went mental, though. It was literally up there with Adele and, like, the Beatles in terms of sales. It did well on the charts, I think. It did not leave the top five in the charts all of last year. Really? And so it's very much a last year thing.

I'm not trying to be topical right now. This is why I'm surprised that I only just found this out. I was putting this song on the other day. You know how, I don't know if you and your friends do this, but we were just in the mood to listen to really sappy, like, emo ballads. No, I never do that. Oh, it's the best. So I pulled this one up and I was like, guys, when this was on the cinema, I seriously got

goosebumps. And they're like, you do realize that she's not actually singing, right? I was like, wait, is that common knowledge? Rebecca Ferguson plays her. Right. The Ranger. Oh, yep, yep, yep, yep. Apparently, Rebecca Ferguson can sing, but she just thought, you know, if my character's

meant to be some opera legend who has this amazing voice, CBF, am I ever, I'm not going to try. Wow. I'll just lip sync some other shit. Wait, wait, wait. So who was singing? Oh my God, is this Barbara Strasand? You're using your radio voice again.

Oh, sorry. You're talking like you're way more intrigued than you actually are. You're like, oh my God, who was the actual singer? That's me, though. I get excited. You get extra breathy. God, who was the actual singer? That's me, though. I get excited. You get extra breathy. Okay, sorry. Wow, who was it?

Now it sounds canned. It was just some random bitch off the voice. I'm not even kidding. They're just like, oh, she can sing it. Was Carice Eden? But look, at least it was the Rangers' decision not to sing. Like, she was like, nah, I don't want to. Get someone else to do it.

I'll lip sync it. She nailed the lip sync, by the way. Yeah, that was phenomenal. I thought it was actually her. But you know that Zac Efron wasn't actually singing in High School Musical? What? Not only that. You didn't know that?

No, I genuinely did not know that. See, that was common knowledge. I didn't realize that this was too. But here's the thing. They didn't tell him. He actually sang on the day and he recorded all the vocals. Could you just imagine him watching the movie for the first time? God, I sound good.

Who the fuck is that voice? From memory, I didn't hit that high note, but here I am. That's what we're going to end up doing to this podcast. I reckon I'll be the one that gets dubbed. Oh, God, yeah, we'll get Joe Rogan on this. Someone's going to tap me on the shoulder and be like, listen, Mitchell, your voice is a bit pitchy. You've got a lisp.

Not ideal for broadcast. No, they'll go, we need to slip in someone who's similar naming for branding. Look, we've got Michelle Bridges co-hosting the show with me from now on. Her voice is deeper than mine. It is. She's like, hi, I'm Michelle Bridges. My 12-week body transformation starts next week. Like, she's actually, I had to go deeper to do an impression.

That's very good, Michelle Bridges. Imagine if we just started dubbing producer Jenna's voice with Noni Hazlehurst, you know, from play school. She used to read the books with that really rich, deep, confident voice. Jenna always sounds like she stubbed her toe just before we ask her a question. Should we compare? Do you want to introduce yourself, producer Jenna? Let's see if your voice matches the beautiful tones of Noni Hazlehurst.

Say hello. Hi. Perfect match. Yeah, all right, we're going to have to get that dubbing ready. Both Mitches are very needy, so make sure you leave a review on your podcast app. Can't think of anything nice to say? Just hit five stars and let them know what's currently on your left.

On our left? As in, like, literally? She's got a cup of tea. I've got Jackie O from Kylie Jackie O, obviously. I've got her bedazzled, blinged up mic over there. Oh, you do. And I'm just looking at it going, I really want to use it. Because if anyone looks at us at couple of inches on Instagram right now,

you've got that big bulbous frigging thing on a pole. Giant microphone. Yes. I've got this little stick thing. Yeah. I don't want to be responsible for knocking any diamantes off that microphone of Jackie O's. She'll get back to work on Monday and be like, why does my microphone smell of green juice and halitosis?

Halitosis? That's the scientific term for bad breath. Is there something you'd like to tell me, Mitchell? You don't have bad breath. I've got to say, this green juice does, like, it makes my mouth a little bit weird. It makes my tongue a lot. It's really... Yeah, your tongue is quite wide.

But worth it because I'm hot. Just kidding. Can I tell you, I've gotten so obsessive with my, like, weight and, like, my goals at the gym at the moment that I was like, you know what I need? I need a tape measure with me on all times just to make sure my waist is the right size. Mitch, that's unhealthy. Let me show you. No, it's not. You have it with you.

No, I'm not even kidding. What is it, from Bunnings? Here we go. That's the most petite little – it's blue. If you're listening, if you're listening, for two people listening, it's so small. It's like a little pocket watch. Yeah.

Oh, where did you get something like that? Can I tell you? I'm not even kidding. So how much do you think this cost me? Oh, five bucks. No. More? Less.

Two. Maybe two bucks. We're talking like including postage, by the way. I mean, I wouldn't pay much for it, really. Let's be honest. I don't need one. I can do it on my iPhone these days. So including postage, I will tell you, this tape measure that I used off AliExpress was

53 cents. Now, let me ask you this, Mitchell. How did anyone make money off this? They posted it for free. I paid 53 bloody cents. How does anyone profit off that? Postage is more than the actual product. It is.

They're losing money. And it's got this weird Chinese measurement called Kun. Can you throw it over here? Yeah. Honestly. Oh, it's going to break. Like, I don't think you could possibly get anything cheaper online than 53 cents, including postage.

Shit, my chest is 16 kuns. Wow. I think you could find something cheaper. You chuck it in. I think I could, if you wanted me to, find something cheaper. I mean, it's not going to be good. You're not going to get an iPad. I really wish that AliExpress were sponsoring this segment because we could make this a

thing. Yeah, we could definitely. Be like, oh, tune in next week as Mitch finds out what bargains he can get on AliExpress. Yeah, tune in as we do our new segment, Wish List. And we go to, you know, Wish. You should actually do that. I want to see if you can beat 53 cents including postage for an actual practical thing online. It doesn't have to be AliExpress.

53 cents. Yep. Including postage? Yes. Done. I'll have it next week. You're just stalling, aren't you? Yes.

You're generating new content ideas because you don't want to do what we're about to do. Let's do that now. I can buy something on eBay right now. Let's do it. Let's scrap the idea we had planned. No, we are going to do this. Okay, people get ready. Coughing Fit Chicken. Coughing fit chicken.

Coughing fit chicken. Oh, I've been dreading it all day. I have a feeling it's going to be my favourite segment. I'm glad someone's enjoying it. My lungs are bleeding from the inside out. It's awful. So somehow, I don't know how, but we found out that the cough that you can do on cue, it literally sounds like you've been smoking a pack a day for 50 years.

Yeah, it sounds like I'm terminal. A carton a day even. It does. Even though you've never smoked a cigarette in your life. No, I had one cigarette in my U10 formal and I had a nosebleed straight away. I inhaled and the blood came straight out. Both nostrils. And you've never gone back ever since then.

No, but it was a Winfield rare. They're very strong. Which is why it's so strange that you do sound like you do when you cough. Well, I have severe asthma. So maybe down the track we can get my mum on on my GP and suss it out. I hope this doesn't like. Inflame it? Probably is.

Well, anyway, you're putting it to good use. Because I've come up with a challenge where you prank call someone, maybe a business, someone you know. And then about 10 seconds into the conversation, you break out into a coughing fit. Like uncontrollable coughing. Yeah, I know what they are. And then it's a game of who hangs up first. So I'm going to be here with a stopwatch.

Yeah. And however long into the call you make it without hanging up, that's going to be your record. And you have to try and top it each time we do. It's my time to be. My peeve. Coughing fit chicken. My peeve. Coughing fit chicken. Oh, no.

But they well may be the first to hang up because they just can't deal with your coughing. But I have a feeling it's going to be you because you're a bit of a wuss. No, who is that? Who are we ringing? Well, you know how you're kind of always bragging about your little black book full of celeb contacts from all your radio producing you've done? Well, to be fair, I don't know where they've come from, but my phone has a lot of celebrity people in it. Like Nicole Kidman's in there. Who have you got? Nicole Kidman? Nicole don't know where they've come from, but my phone has a lot of celebrity people in it.

Nicole Kidman's in there. Who have you got? Nicole Kidman? Nicole Kidman is in my phone book. Oh my God. I don't know how. Bring it out. We'll decide what's the lead that you're going to have a coughing fit call to.

Should we just... Not that I want to sabotage your networking and your relationship. No, no, no. I know your man. I haven't called you. They wouldn't know who I am. I think it has to be someone that they would know you if you'd say, hey, it's Mitch. Hold on.

I've got the Veronica's saved. I wonder if that just goes to a dual phone call. Do they share a phone? They must. Okay, let's not do the Veronicas. Their music label might not be happy. You'll get no interviews ever. We've got Yumi Steins.

She's in the show opener. She's a friend of the show. She works in our office. Yeah, we can't do her. You're right. You're right. Who else do I have? I've got both the mobile and the home line for Ida Buttrose.

Why have you got Ida Buttrose's home phone? Because once I called her on the mobile and the line was very crackly and she was very mad. So I called me back, called me back on my home phone. Okay, Ida. Do we want to produce a dinner? Do we do Ida Buttrose? I think that just out of respect for the fact that she's Ida Buttrose, we don't go there. Yeah, I don't think we do either.

I would love to, but I understand the respect. Yeah, she deserves the respect. I've got 2GB Channel 9, Ben Fordham. He's good. Actually, because he does know you, right? Yeah, I did work experience on his show and he's sort of mentored me through my career. Me too. We are both Ben Fordham alumni.

That's why we're here. We both did work experience with him. So I don't reckon he'd be mad if we called him. No, but he's very powerful. Are we settling on Ben Fordham alumni. That's why we're here. We both did work experience with him. So I don't reckon he'd be mad if we called him. No, but he's very powerful. Are we settling on Ben Fordham? No, hold on. No, no, no. We're doing Ben Fordham.

I'm the one who's got to do the call. Yeah, and you do as you're bloody well told. The sooner you learn that, the better. Oh, no, but he's very intimidating. He's very wealthy. How do you know? Look at him. Oh, he has an iron press suit on.

True. He's wise, beautiful. Actually, can I tell you? He gave me a lift home from work experience once. We were in the lift and he goes, oh, How do you know? Look at him. Oh, he has an iron press suit on. True. He's wise, beautiful. He actually, can I tell you? He gave me a lift home from work experience once. We were in the lift and he goes, oh, where do you live? I said, Ultimo. He goes, oh, I go past there. Jump in, buddy.

You're kidding. And I was like, oh, his car actually smells like cash. You know that? I know exactly what a brand new $100 note smells like. Anyway, you're stalling. Have you punched the number in yet? Yeah, okay. Let's do one.

Okay. Can you see my hands? They're clammy. This is awful. I feel like this is the start of a cardiac arrest. I can feel it coming off. It's probably a deal with Alan. Hello.

Hey, Ben. How you going? How are you, bro? Yeah, good. Good. Hey, sorry for the random call. I just thought I'd pick your brains quickly. Yeah, yeah, mate.

You can ring me any time. It's all good, brother. Thank you. You know how I'm doing the nights here at Kiss at the moment? Yeah, mate. Yeah, yeah, mate. You can ring me any time. It's all good, brother. Thank you. You know how I'm doing the nights here at Kiss at the moment? Yeah, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're killing it. You even did a little fill-in for Kyle and Jack.

I know. Yeah, I know. Thank you. It was very exciting. I sent you a message. I think you sent me back. I know. Push me through the morning seeing your name there.

It was very nice. I appreciate it. Good on you, buddy. I just want to get a little bit of your advice. I have a question. You all right? You all right, bro? Yeah, yeah.

Whoa. No, no, it's more to do with interviews. When you have someone on, is it more so? Mate. Mitch. No, no, is it more... Mate. Mitch. You know, like when Alan Jones... Mitch, dude, dude. Ring me back. That's not...

No, sorry, mate. You sound like you're choking or something, mate. I'm going to get some water in me. Mate. My sherry's going up. Sorry, mate. Mitch. Oh, my sherry's going up. Sorry, Ben. Mitch. Sorry, sorry. I just thought... No, no, from one radio guy to another, it's

important when you've got... What the... Mitch, mate, are you okay? Yeah, Ben, I'm good. I just... Mate, you're choking on something or something. Stop talking. It's water or something. Yeah, yeah, I'll get something.

Hold on. Yeah. Got it. I've got some water. Do you want to ring me back? No, no, I'm good. I'm good. I've got you now.

I've got you now. With... Oh, God, that's a big one. Mate, are you sick? It's in the... I've got another cough. No, mate, no, no. No, Ben.

No, Ben. No, Ben, no, no, mate. He hung up. He hung up? Oh, God. No, that was the most awkward thing. Two minutes and six seconds. I think I'm coughing up blood.

Is it all got my tongue? Is it a blood hook? You proved me wrong. I thought you would hang up after like 20 seconds because you were too ashamed. He's such a nice person. Are you right, Mitch? I think you're sick. Where did that come from?

But then by the end, his concern is gone. He's just like, don't speak to me. I got another call. No, it's not. Jodie, dinner's ready. So two minutes and six seconds. Next time we call, that's what you've got to try and beat. So that's one point to me. I've got another call. No, it's not. Jodie, dinner's ready. So two minutes and six seconds. Next time we call, that's what you've got to try and beat. So that's one point to you.

Congrats. I'm glistening with like a thin layer of sweat. Oh, God. He's just texted me. What did he say? Mate. Just mate with a full stop. Oh, no.

I've lost my two GP contact. There goes my career. Is it just me? You can follow the show online. Just search Couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a dickhead. Maybe we should call it back. Look, I genuinely think he deserves an explanation at least.

Yeah, look, maybe later, but we've got something way more important to do right now. What? Needs to be done before the end of the show, remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, I'm not willing to progress any further into this podcast creation commitment thing we've got going on right now until this is sorted.

Why does this all of a sudden feel like an arranged marriage? I feel like I should be wearing a sari. You are welcome to leave if you're not. I don't want this to feel forced. You can go. I thought you were going to say, you're welcome to go and buy a sari. I can make this decision by myself, but it needs to happen, okay? No, no, no.

Look, I actually am very excited for this because if if you listen to radio, or even podcasts now, they've been getting more and more like radio shows. No, they all have them too. They all have, should we say at the same time? Right, we are about to decide the official, is it just me, whoosh. And what we mean when we say whoosh, you know the little sound effect that kind of goes at the start and finish of any audio

someone plays? It's kind of like a bookend. Every show has one. Kyle and Jackie O have one. Every show has their own distinct sound. Yeah, theirs is iconic too. And you associate it with theirs. So if I was going to throw to... I can get their grab. Let me get it.

Let me get that little whoosh. Yeah, because that'll be in our library. Yeah. So if I was actually... You're going to be the grab, okay? Okay, great. I'm going to throw to... Have you got the thing?

Yep. Cool. I'm going to throw to an interview with Mitch Turi. So I spoke to Mitch about why he thinks that Mitchell Coombs is the most talented and beautiful person in the world. Take a listen. Oh, and I just think he's so charming, smart, funny, beautiful hair, beautiful. Oh, I've made an error.

That's actually, I'm actually reading the bio on Mitch Turi. Great grab. Did you get the joke? I was talking about myself. You get the point though. That's actually, I'm actually reading the bio on Mitch Chury. Great grab. Did you get the joke? I was talking about myself. You get the point though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've come up with a bunch of options. Okay.

You've not heard these yet. No, they're in the system. I'm ready to play them, but this is the first time I'll be hearing them. I'm excited. So can you, do you think that this fits the feel and the energy that we're trying to achieve here on Is It Just Me? Okay. This whoosh.

How does this work? One more time. It kind of sounds like someone opening their legs. Like, it's very sort of barren. Yeah, actually, now that I've heard it, I don't remember it being that long. Like, it feels quite long. It's like... Yeah, it sounds like the BFG sneezing.

You know what I mean? Yeah, no, actually, I don't like that either. Eliminate, gone. It's out. Yep. Number two. What is this? What do you think of this?

Oh. Hold on. God, it was me. You know what that sounds like? Ready? Man, man, watch out. There's a bus coming. Step out of the way.

The bus just hitting her. Sounds like bones are being crushed. Isn't it bad? It does, actually. Oh, my God. It's very aggressive. Yeah, let's get rid of that. I hate it.

Go one more time. I want to hear it. Okay. See, I kind of like it, but I don't know. There's other options. We'll benchmark. It's better than bloody. Yeah.

That sounds terrible. Okay. All right, we'll go to option number three. All right, number three. Here we go. What was that? What is that? That was actually you coughing when we were recording some stuff.

No, it's not. I isolated that. You left the Vox Pro going and then you had some off air and I just isolated you coughing. Hold on. Listen, hear me out. I thought, how can we be different? No. Every other show uses a whoosh sound effect.

We are, you know, we've launched Coughing Fit Chicken. This show, whether we like it or not, will be synonymous with coughing. So I thought you coughing could top and tail our grabs. I just don't know if I like it. Can I at least give you some context for you, okay? Open your mind. I've got some audio for you to actually whoosh into using this, okay? Let's just pretend I'm doing a celeb gossip type report

and see how that whoosh sounds when I throw it to the grab, okay? You ready? Like that woman who just wears all the leather on Studio 10. What? The entertainment woman. Oh, Angela Bishop. Yeah, she loves a dead cow, that one. Always.

Always looks so shiny. That's my Studio 10 colleague, Angela Bishop, Yeah, she loves a dead cow, that one. Always, always looks so shiny. That's my Studio 10 colleague, Angela Bishop, you're talking about. Sure, I'll channel my inner Angela Bishop right now, okay? Got the bush ready? Yep, yep. Kim Kardashian has clashed with her husband, Kanye West, after she spotted on Twitter that he's been telling people they're moving to Chicago without talking to her about it first.

Take a listen. The thing that set me off was, okay, that should have been a conversation before I see on the internet you're moving to Chicago without talking to her about it first. Take a listen. The thing that set me off was, okay, that should have been a conversation before I see on the internet you're moving to Chicago. I find out. No, no, I told you that before we had that conversation. Not a serious conversation. Oh, my God. Now, what do you want this show to be if not original?

You know what? How many other shows have used their own cough to top and tail their grabs? I think it works. No one. I just, sorry, tail their grabs? I think it works. No one. Sorry, I can't. I hate it. It's out.

Oh, you're not going to like the next one then. Is that another cough? Yeah, that would be John Laws' cough. So there was a reason that I was listening to John Laws. It was for this show, an upcoming episode. Research. I'm going to be doing John Laws' biggest on-air tantrums. I'm looking forward to that. Because the way he talks

to his callers is hilarious. I wish I got away with literally abusing people like that. Yeah, you can't. And still be considered a legend and not just an animal. And get paid through the roof. And yeah, I heard this while listening I thought, I'll give that a crack. I'll run that by you, see if you like that as a whoosh. Listen again.

Do you have an example of that with a graph? The funny thing is that you do have a cough mute button, but he's like, nah, nah, they deserve to hear it all. Straight into it. I'm vetoing it. Go again, go again. You know what it sounds like? Ready?

Hold on, let me do this. This shit is bananas. Oh my God. It's like the beat. Go again, go again. Oh, this is my shit. Oh, my God. It's like the beat. Go again, go again. Oh, this is my shit. Oh, the girls and the beat. You don't...

You know what it sounds like? Hey, Mitch. Yeah, Uncle Jamie. Can you come help your uncle start up the tractor? No worries. Kind of like starting an engine. So you don't like that one either with our whoosh? No, I hate it.

Well, you vetoed all the other normal whooshes. How many more do you have? Literally just one. I've got five. Okay. You better like this one because I thought they were all outstanding and I would have been happy with any of the toys. So if you don't like this, then we're screwed.

Okay, here we go. This is it. Now, let me tell you, the reason I like that one, go again, is there's a bit of surround sound bullshit going on right now. Is there? So if someone's driving their car listening to this podcast, they would have noticed that part of it happens in the left speaker, part of it happens in the right. Actually, take one of your headphones off.

Okay, yep. Play it. Oh, I heard the little end of whoosh in the right. Let me switch now. And now switch headphones. I hope people listening along are doing the same thing. Take one headphone out. Now take out the other.

Okay. Oh, I just get the little beeps at the top. And now put them both on and appreciate the glory of it. Oh, it's like a whoosh sandwich. My brain's the meat. Do you want to hear it with an example? Yeah. Set it up.

Bring it up. Okay. Kim Kardashian has clashed with her husband Kanye West After she spotted on Twitter That he's been telling people they're moving to Chicago Without talking Shut up Without talking to her about it first He didn't tell her

Take a listen The thing that set me off was Okay that should have been a conversation Before I see on the internet You're moving to Chicago I find out No no I told you that before We had that conversation

Not a serious conversation Oh I feel like we're a real radio show Well we're not a conversation. Oh, I feel like we're a real radio show. Well, we're not a radio show. Okay, sorry. I feel like we're a real radio show. Do I need to keep reminding you this? No, sorry. Well, thank God we settled that before the end of the show.

I really like it. We couldn't have possibly carried on without it. Do you agree? I agree completely. Now we're all set. We're a real podcast. You know, like when you move in, I don't know if you've done this. Actually, you still live with your parents.

I have lived overseas. I know what it's like to live out of home. Dad paid for it. You know when you move into your new place and you finally unpack that last suitcase or that little bloody plastic tub that you've been eating in the corner? Yeah. And you're like, now it's home. You know what I mean? That's what I feel.

Play the whoosh again. Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, officially the whoosh of Egypt. I love it. It's so nice. That's beautiful. So I'm going to make sure that next week's show is very grab heavy. Yeah.

It's going to have lots of things. Actually, we do have something next week that's going to be involving a lot of grabs. What are we doing next? Because we're doing Witch Mitch. Oh, I'm excited for this. It's a test of how big your head is. No, it's not really. We work in an office here and the two of us are quite well known.

We're just, you know, we're very... That just answered how big your head is. No! That sentence. You set it up. So look how Witch Mitch works is producer Jenna has gone around our office and she's asked people to compliment either me or you. Yeah.

And they will say, oh, I think Mitch is really X, Y, Z. Hold on. No, sorry. What will they say? Give them an example. I think Mitch's beard is way too sparse. He needs to shave his face. Definitely you. No, that's you. Quite clearly you. Quite clearly you. Do you think my beard is way too sparse. He needs to shave his face. Definitely you.

No, that's you. Quite clearly you. Quite clearly you. Do you think my beard's sparse? Very. You think I should shave this? I've always told you that. I don't like it.

Really? But that's just me in general. I don't really like facial hair. I like a bit of stubble. Yeah. But yours is still quite sparse. It's borderlining beard stubble. It's in the intro.

Yeah, you've got that thing I've got where it mainly grows on your neck. This is very puny. Starting to creep up the cheeks. Okay, well. But mine isn't. This is what next week's segment's going to be. I don't want to beards, double. It's in the intro. Yeah, you've got that thing I've got where it mainly grows on your neck. This is very puny. Starting to creep up the cheeks. Okay, well. But mine isn't. If this is what next week's segment's going to be, I don't want to be part of it. No, it's because you have to guess whether the compliment applies to myself or you. Okay, done.

I'm also keen to find out whether you can find something cheaper than my 53 cent tape measure. Oh, I've already been looking. I think I've got something. Have you actually? Yeah. I think I've got something. And I actually think I'm going to get you sad of it. You're not.

Hey, can I ask? Before we go, did your mate ever text back? Oh my God. Remember how I was saying earlier, you were saying that you made friends with that waitress or whatever. And you're like, we are best friends. And I said, I bet she couldn't care less if you died. You do not talk any ill of spicy.clear.

Has she replied? No, she didn't reply. Ah! No, no, no, no. I told you. No, I'm going to pull everything down. I'm going to quickly video call her. Don't. No. I want to. No. No, I'm going to pull everything down. I'm going to quickly video call her. Don't.

No. I want to. No. Why? I just want to. Contacting. She's so beautiful. Didn't expect her to be a lesbian when she started talking.

What do you want to order? This spicy prawn? I'm like, oh, maybe these bling rolls? I go, yeah. They're my girlfriend's favourite. Ah! Shocked. I just want to say for the record,

I'm not saying I don't want to know about, you know, the waiter's life or like I don't think they're human. They're just there to serve me. But you go to so much effort to make friends with them. It just happens to me. It's just natural. She didn't answer. She may have bothered me.

I'm not sure. So we'll have next week. I'll let you know. She'll reply by then. The funny thing is that you've plugged her Instagram so many times and for nothing. I know. You're not even friends with her Instagram so many times and for nothing. I know. You're not even friends with her.

She's going to get all these extra people. Actually, we should tell everyone to send her a certain thing. And she'll get really confused. I'll tell you her username again. Okay. Yeah. Her name is spicy.cleo. C-L-E-O.

Say, oh my God, what happened between you and Mitch? He was just talking shit about you on his podcast. Never give her the podcast name. Just make her a bit paranoid. God, I'm cruel. and Mitch? He was just talking shit about you on his podcast. Never give her the podcast name. Just make her a bit paranoid. God, I'm cruel. Yeah, that's awful. Poor Spicy Not Clear. Don't do that.

Anyway, we've talked way too much. We need to get out of here. Yeah, we have. We need to leave. It's been a great first show. I think we've done very well. You do? I'm still very radio-y.

I am. But that'll come with time. Yeah, you're too radio. You can see us, if you follow us, at a couple of Minches. Yes, there's no A in a couple of Minches. It's just at a couple of Minches. Yeah, you too, radio. You can see us, if you follow us, at a couple of Mitches. Yes, there's no A in a couple of Mitches. It's just at a couple of Mitches. Oh, sorry. I was reading the A as an A.

It's very confusing. Like, if a dyslexic person looked at our at, the at almost looks like an A. Yeah, it does. So you would think it's at a couple of Mitches. Sorry, we're talking too much. Give us a follow. We're going to go. We're back next week.

This thing is a weekly thing, baby. If you've persisted this far, hats off to you. Yep. And hopefully, we'll see you next week. This thing is a weekly thing, baby. If you've persisted this far, hats off to you. Yep. And hopefully, we'll see you next week. I'm Mitch. Well, no, we'll catch them next week because you can't see them. Oh, well, you'll hear us next week. We'll be here.

Do join us again next week. See you guys. Bye-bye. Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app. and leave a review on your podcast app. Hey. You still there?

I am. Jen, are you there? I am. Thank God it's the three of us. It's like the Poseidon Adventure when it turns upside down and they're checking who's still alive. Titanic. No, the Poseidon Adventure. And Titanic.

No, that's not the Titanic. Shut up. We have to tell people why we're still here and what this is, okay? Didn't we settle on a name for this? What was it? We settled on ADD brief, right? Well, we wanted to do ADHD brief. And then I said that neither of us are diagnosed with ADHD and that's inappropriate.

It's a bit insensitive. I have ADD. You're just piggybacking off that. You think I have it. I don't. Oh, I'm telling you, you do. You can't not have it. Yeah, I want that little one of a. You can't not have it. Yeah.

I like that little one of a Maltese Terry. But anyway, this is like a secret segment on the end of the show. Yeah. It doesn't actually count. We just kind of pop in after the show's done and just chat away. Completely unscripted. Nothing's planned. It's like behind the scenes, but it's after the show.

So really, no holds barred. Is that the expression? I would say so, yeah. I think so. We're not barring any holds. And it's just us, Producer General, jump in. We're not barring any holds. And it's just us. Producer General will jump in. We'll have some fun.

Yeah, I used to host a podcast called Not My Cup of Tea. It's still up. It still exists. People go search that once you're done here, of course. As in, hi. It's like talking about your ex-husband. I used to date a man called Terry. He's still there.

But look, we used to have bonus bants on Not My Cup of Tea. Very similar. Where we just had this unscripted section of the show at the end. And we used to joke, oh, this is the best part of the show. But I feel vastly different about this part of this show, let me tell you. Why? Because I don't know if you've realised this,

but we are not good for each other. What do you mean? We enable each other's ability to ramble and never shut up. Like, this is meant to be a bonus bit at the end. I bet it's going to be longer than the actual show. Oh, God, yeah. But that's fine. That's what people want.

That's what they're on here for. And I'm most worried that people are going to form their opinion on the show as a whole based off this shit, this literal shit at the end. I don't mind. So I would prefer this part be kept a secret. I'm just not proud of this section of the podcast. I think it'll be the best. I would just,

because I'm really worried that someone's going to hear this and then go, you know what? I'm disgusted. And then in order to express their disgust, they're going to leave a bad review on the show. No. We can't have bad reviews dragging us down. And this is high risk in terms of dragging people's opinion down.

The first part of the show, we put in so much effort to the first... Well, not too much. No, more than this. We put in... Okay, we put in more effort than we currently do because right now, nothing planned. We could be here for days, for fuck's sake.

We could. I think we need to establish rules. I don't think people can rate us from this moment on. As soon as the end music fades out, bam, it's unrateable. In fact, if you are still here after the end music, it's your fault. You can't blame us for anything that happens during this section of the show. We told you to switch off.

Yeah. Literally. Why are you still listening? Piss off. Exactly. You know what this is like? Don't go glancing down at your phone to see how much is still left. No, no.

You leave. Go. This part of the podcast is like when you watch a movie and you have a Pepsi Max buddy and you drink it, but there's still a little sip in the end, but it gets to room temperature. It's half backwash. It's kind of gross, but it's at the end, and it's like you can drink it or you can just chuck it out. That's what this is.

Chuck us out or down it. Chuck this bit out, yeah, I would say. Well, let's just see how long we go for. We're just going to, mm. To be honest, I actually have some damage control to do. I think I should bring Ben Fordham back. The poor bastard. The poor guy.

I just coughed down his throat. Child Pearl and Whale. Whale? What are their names? Freddie. Freddie. Where did you get Whale out of Freddie? I'm thinking of Mr. Crab's daughter in SpongeBob.

You know how his daughter's name is Pearl? Geez, that did well, didn't it? Well, someone tweeted in. Let's check. No, they didn't. The show's daughter's name's Pearl? Geez, that did well, didn't it? Well, someone tweeted in. Let's check. No, they didn't. Show's terrible. That's Ben Fordham. So, thanks a lot, Benny.

He doesn't even know that we're doing a show, does he? No, because I haven't justified it to him. I need to bring him back. You need to call him back. You reckon? Sure. Okay, let's ring Ben. Stay focused while you do so.

I've got to clean my lungs. I'll get his number. Hold on. You don't need to dial his number. It'll be in the recents. Oh focused while you do so. I've got to clean my lungs. I'll get his number. Hold on. You don't need to dial his number. It'll be in the recents. Oh, yeah, it will. It comes up Ben Fordham. Poor bastard.

Yeah. I'm not going to answer you a second time after that. I'm up. Bro. Oh, Ben. What happened? No, no, no. Okay, let me get this straight.

You remember the other Mitch? You probably don't. You did work experience with him. Mitchell Coombs. Probably don't remember him. Yeah, yeah me get this straight. You remember the other Mitch? You probably don't. You did work experience with him, Mitchell Coombs. You probably don't remember him. Yeah, yeah, Mitch the bitch. I'm actually here. Yeah, the bitch is right here, actually. That's a good podcast name.

Hey. He makes me do it. We're here together. We've started a podcast. Hi, Ben. What do you mean? Well, okay, so there's this, you should set it up. It's your ridiculous idea.

So basically, Mitch has only smoked one cigarette in his life and yet has this miraculous ability to sound like an emphysema patient. Mate, I thought you were choking. I thought something was seriously going wrong. That's what I thought. You were so sweet too. You're like, Mitch, are you all right? Mate, I was having that moment of going,

is this the moment where I'm supposed to give mouth to mouth but I'm over the phone? Should have hit FaceTime. Did he add triple zero to the call, make it a conference call of going, is this the moment where I'm supposed to give mouth-to-mouth, but I'm over the phone? Should have hit FaceTime. Did the add triple zero to the call make it a conference call? Yeah, that's right. I just couldn't work out why you, I was like, mate, quit. Why would you keep trying to have the conversation? You did.

But yes, it's called coughing fit chicken. He's got to keep you on the line as long as he can. And you were two minutes and six seconds if you were curious. No, it's called you being an arsehole. No, no, it's not. See, this is what I was afraid of. I'll say I'm an arsehole called you being an arsehole. No, no, it's not. See, this is what I was afraid of. I'll say I'm an arsehole. You are an arsehole.

I'm the one that dares you to do it. It makes me cringe. I hate the thought of just pranking. I hate pranks. I think they're so cringe. Here's me. I've been a good man to both of you, both former work experience kids of mine, a mentor. Told you he'd remember.

And you treat me like a piece of dog shit. I know. We are Ben Fordham alum, though. Do you remember? Do you remember? Who did it first? When did you do it, Mitch? I was.

Well, both of you. The funny thing is that both of you, I said, I actually said on air when you were doing work experience, these guys will remember these names. And you've both turned into stuff. Oh, I see. Are they a little snoddy? Here we are spluttering you down the line? Yeah. I do that with every work experience kid just in case a couple of them come good.

Yeah, well, that's what I was going to say. Do you do that for everyone, all the snotty-nosed brats you get? No, mate. I reckon I've done it for 10 out of 500. There you go. And so far the other eight have turned into duds, but you two have picked up. Look at us go.

Can I tell you, Mitch, I did work experience twice. The first time, I was a fat 15-year-old. The second time, I was 19 and gorgeous because I'd lost so much weight, he didn't remember. Like, he didn't recognise me because I looked so different. So if you drop the kilos and go in there, he might not recognise you. I've done the opposite.

I've gained weight since being on. You wouldn't recognise me, but it's the difference. I do have hundreds of work experience kids come through. You are very good like that. I don't think many other people in radio are willing to take them on. Oh, no way. No one in this building. I don't recognise Mitch Turi in the rooster suit.

Are you still running around in the rooster suit? Yeah, no, the cash cart cook is a cult favourite of Sydney. It's like the cash can. Once you've done it, you can't shake it, you know? Mate, you know what? I would love to pinch the cash cock off Kiss so you just for one day, I could kidnap the cash cock and you could come and just work for me for one day

just for a couple of hours on 2GB. I could use it as a marketing thing that I've pinched Kiss FM's cash call. Is it the same tactic? He runs around giving out money or just in the office doing stapling and stuff? No, no, no. Exactly the same. Running around giving away stuff.

Yeah, but your demo aren't exactly going to be chasing a giant cock through the park, are they? Well, that's true. I mean, they could, you know, those motorized, you know, little vehicles that they drive around in, you know, like they could chase you in one of them. Yeah, and we'll get it sponsored by Caltrade or something to support bone health or something. We'll tie it in for your demo somehow.

You give 2GB listeners some credit. The amount of times I've heard people on Ben's show be like, oh, mate, I'm a recent convert from FMR, triple M, turned 2GB. They're all young people just trying to get a bit smarter. I'm grabbing them all, mate. I'm grabbing however many I can. So listen, this podcast, what's it called? You and you, what's it called?

It's called Is It Just Me? Is It Just Me? Yeah, so it's like it's thoughts we've all had. Oh, let me guess. What? Let me guess. Is it just me or is that it? A little bit less tacky, but yeah.

Yeah, come on, Dan. We're better than that. Christ, it's more dramatic. You know the two of us. Is it just me or what's with olive oil? All right, Seinfeld, come on. It's oil and it's olive and it's like, why wouldn't you just have butter?

Is it just me? He's really got us there, doesn't he? He's not far off. He hasn't sold me on his point, though. What's wrong with olive oil? Yeah. I bet you're a canola guy as well. Oh, mate, you don't know me.

Don't pretend that you know me. That's bullshit. Can I also... Yeah, you have never once... You've never once... Oh, no, you have texted me. That's fair. I was going to throw you under the bus there.

You have been very good. You've looked after both of us as graduates from your school. Yeah, well, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you until you made me think that I was about to become one of those triple zero heroes. I wanted to be one of those kids who's like, you know, was ended up getting a bravery award because he saved his mom when she was choking. But I was like, you're not my mom. There's not much you can do. I'm over the phone, so I don't really know how to save a life from here. But I was like, you're not my mom. There's not much you can do. I'm over the phone, so I don't really know how to save a life from here.

But I would have given you mouth-to-mouth if I was given the opportunity. You're a good man. You really are. Would it be interesting to save someone? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'm shaved. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't give mouth-to-mouth if you weren't clean-shaven.

But if you're clean-shaven, for sure. You would never tell the 2GB demographic as well. No. Had it on with another man. Goodness me. Absolutely not. How many episodes are you up to? You're the premier. You're number one. I said to him for episode one,

first coughing chicken prank call, you've got to go through your contacts and call a celeb. So it was either you or Ida Butchose, Ben. He has her home number. Oh, my God. That's down the track. I have a very odd... I've got Nicole Kidman's number in my phone for

some bizarre reason. It's genuine. I'm willing to make a couple of bets with you boys right now. One, if you do that to Ida Buttrose I will give both

of you a bucket of KFC chicken each. Speaking my speaking my language. He's got me. See, to me, Ida Buttrose's respect is more important to me than a KFC feed, so you're going to have to raise the stakes there. I don't think I'm willing to do that. I respect Ida a lot. Okay.

I'll give Mitch Turi a bucket of KFC chicken. Yeah, I'm in. I'm fine. I'll give Mitch Coombs a framed photo of Ida Buttrose. Oh, come on. Aren't you sponsored by like Audi Ataman or something? Give me a car, bro. I'll do it for that.

I don't know. What's one of your major sponsors? The Sleep Easy Spine Pillow, whatever it is? Spinalese Pillow. Spinalese Pillow. Sold. Oh, hold on, hold on. Wait, can you give me a pillow too?

No, a bucket of chicken. Oh, shit. So that's if you do that. And, mate, this is fair dinkum. Yeah. If you get Nicole Kidman, I'll give you $1,000 cash. Oh. Suddenly you're very interested in this segment.

I want the money. Hey, fried chicken and cash is my love language. That's bang on. I just like the, oh, I've got Nicole Kidman's number in my phone. Hey, oh, you know what? I do. Have you noticed that I haven't asked for elaboration once? He's brought it up a million times.

And I'm like, I'm not going to give you the opportunity to just brag. I'll bring it up a lot. I don't even want context. Man. Mate, I think you should try ringing it on the podcast just so everyone listening can hear. The number you've called is not connected. Nah, shit answer.

Shit answer. Shit answer me. We have history. I'm not going into that. It's just, look, it's been long enough, Ben. It's been great having you. Well, listen, don't go choking on chicken or whatever it was you were choking on, all right?

No, I won't. Ben, next time you've got to come on in studio because I remember a few years ago on Twitter, you asked me to bring you a Bogengate tea towel and I brought it, but I just keep forgetting to bloody give it to you. So I've got it. That was five years ago, you idiot. It was five years ago, but I've got it and it's still in the plastic, so it's mint condition. Like you could sell that shit.

I really mean a lot to you, Mitch. Thank you so much. Every time I see him I'm like Oh bloody hell That tea towel His place has been a pigsty For all these years

For sure Will you just go back to Living on houseboats And riding on jet skis You're just living the life Mr Fordham Good on you buddy I'm just about to whack something

In the Nutribullet actually In fact a man shake That's another sponsor Ah ka-ching He got the credit in Get it out Well done Got the credit line on Get it out. Well done. Got the credit line on. Hey, thanks for coming on, Ben.

Appreciate it. On you, boy. I'm going to go have a strepsil. Okay, ciao. Thanks, Ben. See ya. Well, that was better than I anticipated. What a lovely guy. Are you really that desperate for KFC chicken that you're going to sabotage your relationship with Ida Buttrose? Yeah.

You could just go, I don't know, call me old-fashioned, but buy some. You know what? I'm a sucker for pleasing people. This will never happen. I don't want KFC. Like you said, I really don't want KFC. I just did that to please that media figure that is Ben Fordham.

I don't care. It's very telling about Mitch's personality, isn't it? Jenna, come in the studio. You're sitting out there like a little ferret. I'll come in now. Jenna looks like a cockapoo at Pet Paradise at Westfield, just sitting in the studio. You're sitting out there like a little ferret. I'll come in now. Jenna looks like a cockapoo at Pet Paradise at Westfield, just sitting in a glass. We're in this giant studio.

It's like Stranger Things, like Eleven, watching you in a test room. Come in. Come in. She doesn't have to reply to that. She can just get in. Look at her. Look at her. Now, she can't hear us now because she's brought her headphones out.

But when she gets here. No, I haven't looked at her. I'm love her. Now, she can't hear us now because she's brought her headphones out. But when she gets here. No, I haven't looked at her. I'm sorry. I'm going now. Don't hurry. It's so fine. Yeah, Christ. Okay, look at her fingernails.

They're so long. And they're real. They're not acrylics. They're real nails. Yeah, my nails used to be that long, but yeah. Then you what? Realised that you weren't a creature from the desert? No, to be honest.

It's because when I grew my hair long and I had long nails, I was like, I have to have one feminine thing or the other. I can't just really confuse everyone. Very true. Jenna, welcome to the studio. Hey, you were just talking about your fingernails. No, what I was going to say, Jenna, is that I think that Ben Fordham has come up with a great idea with this Ida Buttrose situation. We have it on record that Mitch said that he would do it.

He would prank call Ida Buttrose in exchange for KFC chicken, and I would do it for a swine and a leaf pillow. So I think that we're onto something. Should we do it or not? Not now. I think it's a wonderful idea. Of course, you guys think it's great. You don't have to cough down the line to an Australian icon.

Poor thing will have a conniption. I love that that's the legacy of episode one Coughing down the line to an Australian icon That's going to be what we're known for on this show Coughing at Aussie legends Well we, I beg yours, it'll be your thing Poor thing, she'll go, Alf Stewart is issue Not again

That's not a good idea impression Do you reckon next time we do a coughing fit chicken call I love how ADD beef has turned into a planning meeting Do you reckon next time we do a coughing fit chicken call? Yeah. I love how ADD beef has turned into a planning meeting. Do you reckon next time we do it, it's to someone you know or to a business or another celeb contact? I don't know. I don't want to do it to a celeb yet. I've got a phone book full of celeb contacts.

We maybe, I don't know, random option here. We could just interview them and get good ratings that way by chatting to actual stars. Good ratings again. Again. The radio thing. It's not what happens. One more.

Mitch is my favourite. Which one though? Shuri. That's good. God, tweets are great, isn't it? It's so current. How do I unplug that sound effect little desk he's got over there? You've got no option.

You can't do it. Goodness me. This is what I'm saying. This is what this segment's going to be. You just got no option. You can't do it. Goodness me. This is what I'm saying. This is what this segment's going to be. You just pissing around. Having fun. Hi. What's that?

Have you got a sound effect of yourself? Saying hi, yeah. Hi. In case I'm rushing in the studio and I call it answers and I have to go, Hi. How are you? I don't have time to say hi. Oh, my God.

I also had a bye, but someone overrided it. What made you decide to do that? I was bored. There was a bye, but then overrided it. What made you decide to do that? I was bored. There was a buy, but then when this dropped, we didn't know what to do, so they overrode my buy with Katy Perry. Never really over. Really? Yeah.

They were that low on storage in the sound effect library. They had to replace that with Katy Perry. Well, they hit a random cart because it was such a rush, and then my buy's gone. So now all I've got is, hi. It's very sad. I can never end phone calls. I'm like, hi, thanks for calling.

Oh, my God. Oh, the life of a radio jock. That's what I do. There's been a lot of radio talk in this podcast. Let's talk about podcasts. The teacher's pet. I don't really know much about them. She's in the soft soil.

Episode five. Jenna, you've been in here for six minutes and you barely breathed. How are you getting nutrients in your body I hurt Jenna why are you petrified No wonder I want to replace her with Noni Hazelhurst I thought Noni Hazelhurst passed Of course not

I thought she got the Lifetime Achievement Award At the Logies and then passed I'll look her up hold on Quietly in her sleep Clutching to the gold logie Although is the Lifetime Achievement a gold logi or is it just a silver logi? I think it's a silver logi. Yeah, I think you're right.

That's a good point. Yeah, I don't think they give the gold gold. It's just to the gold logi winner. Yeah, because it would discredit. They should make it a different colour. It should be purple or something. Yeah. Or platinum.

The platinum logi. Or it should be a big one. Double sized logi or a double headed logi. Or it should be a big one. Double-sized ogre or a double-headed ogre. That'd be cool. Double-headed. Yeah, she's very much alive. How old is she? I'd like to know.

Isn't this producer Jenna's job? Yes, he's six. Oh, she's got a good couple in her. Couple? Couple. Couple of decades. She'll outlive you. Probably, with this emphysema I've developed.

Imagine going to the doctor. Mitchell, you've got lung cancer from all the years you've smoked. Doctor, I haven't smoked a cigarette in my life. Don't lie. You're a liar. Just own up to it. You're on your deathbed. I've never had one.

Quiz me. Quiz me on some of the names of cigarettes. Marlborough. Pall Mall. Worked at Coles. Customer service manager. That's all I know. Good chat.

I worked at IGA, customer service manager. That's why I know. Good chat. I worked at IGA. Every shift, I would spend the whole time thinking about what food I was going to buy from the supermarket to eat on the way home. Me too. If it doesn't make, oh my God. What would you get? Because there was one thing that I always got and it ruined my car, but I got it every shift because I do closing, so I finish at midnight. Ruin your car as in like a stench?

No, no. The stench was beautiful because it was from the bakery. Or like flaky. Flaky. Flaky everywhere. A sausage roll? No, because it was midnight. It was the thing that no one wanted that was left.

Croissant. It was a maple pecan twist. That was beautiful. What is that? It was like a fake. I don't know who I've started. Everyone, tune out, please. You're not meant to be listening to this.

Just go listen to episode two already. That's where we actually put in effort. If you've gotten this far, please tweet, hashtag Maple Pecan. Oh, don't. But spell it how you think pecan's spelled. Because I would say pecan, but I kept getting picked up on it. It's pecan. I don't even know what that is, to be honest. I'm pretty sure it's pecan's spelled. Because I would say pecan, but I kept getting picked up on it. It's pecan. I don't even know what that is, to be honest.

I'm pretty sure it's pecan. Is it? Yeah. You were in the bathroom before, Jenna. I was having a pecan. Jenna and I went to this pool today. I had a pecan. That's like what your uncle says when he orders a chicken chow mein.

He's like, I'll have the chicken chow mein. Gets it wrong. I'm so embarrassed about this. You are not. You're proud. No. Really? I actually would rather.

Are you not familiar with the showbiz rule? Leave them wanting more. This is too much. Way too much. Yeah, you're right. Love producer Jenna's input. God. From who?

Thank God. Who the fuck said that? It was Kerri-Ann Kennelly. Live listening to the show. Can you not bag out Kerri-Ann? I work for Studio 10. You do, actually. But how much are you?

Are they paying you is my question. Yes. I would never ask how much. Oh, but Jamie underscore six has. Stop pretending we're getting tweets. We're not. Pretending? What do you mean?

I've got tweet deck up on here. You're just dropping random keywords thinking I'm going to know what you're... I will think you know what you're talking about. I know you have no idea. Someone's ringing me from Melbourne. Oh, answer it. Should I take it? Go on.

On my iWatch? Oh, I missed it. Should I call them back? No. Moment's gone. Okay. Hey, did that bitch ever get back to you? Spicy.cleo.

Oh, Spicy.cleo. Let me check. I put it on do not disturb. No SIM card installed. Yes, there is a softness. That was me. I just didn't want you to. I wanted to prove my point that you're forcing yourself

on hospitality staff. So I just removed your SIM. So here's Spy. Oh, she did reply! Bullshit. She tried to video chat me and she replied. Oh, God. So she is Spanish.

I'll get some Spanish music. Can I do this? Is this what it's meant to be? I don't really know what that means, but sure. Let me find some Spanish. Despacito. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, well done, Jenna.

Thank you. I literally searched Odell Pazzo. Isn't that Italian? Yeah, I think so. Here we go. Okay. Well done. Thank you. I literally searched Odell Parso. Isn't that Italian? Yeah, I think so. Here we go. Okay. Well done. So Spicy Cleo replied to me. Show's over. Sorry. The moment's passed. She didn't reply during the show.

It doesn't count. We're not continuing the arc in here. She's in Sicily time, so the poor thing's probably having a siesta. She's probably rolling a corn tortilla. You're an idiot. He's in Italy. All right, so spicy.clear. I'm tired.

She said, hey, gorgeous. Most Spanish thing anyone can say. Life's good. She didn't ask about life. Been managing a villa in Gilly T. The music's over. We don't need it anymore. In Gilly T.

Gilly Gazard? Come visit with your bae sometime. HBU. How about you? So we are friends. Because you queried whether or not we were friends. And I, in fact, think that we are friends. Because she called me gorgeous. She abbreviated bae. And I, in fact, think that we are friends because she called me gorgeous,

she abbreviated bae, and she asked me the question back. I'll reply. That's not how I speak to my friends. Is it just me? Or do you, like, the more me and you're able to be with someone, that indicates how close you are.

That reeks of acquaintance to me. You're not interested. You speak to your friends as if they're in an interrogation room for bloody murder. What do you mean? You're so vile to your friends. You're so vile to the ones you love most dearly. I've been with you with your little nephews running around the house. And you and I went to Red Rooster.

And we had a half chicken roll. And I had a fried pineapple fritter. Two of them. And your little child, what's its name? It. Yeah, what's its name? There's two. Henry. Noah.. Two of them. And your little child, what's its name? It. Yeah, what's its name? There's two. Henry.

Noah. Noah, of course. Walked up, tried to have a bite. And you went, Noah! He's got to learn. But see, and if that was someone else's kid, say for example, Jenna brought her nephew over and this little snotty nose thing came to get your chip, you would let it eat one. I'd kick it in the teeth and say, Jenna, get this thing away from me.

I'd probably do that too. Teaching them a lesson. You've got a bosom to drink from. Hi. Oh, God. Can I have the panel back? No. Give it.

No. Give it. Literally, it's a 10 kilo object. Okay. Basic problem solving. We swap seats. Should we try quickly? Yeah.

Should we see if the vibe of the show changes? Don't do it. That's someone. Come on. You've got access. That was very confronting, the look he just gave me as I walked past. Are you wearing Lynx Africa? Why would I do that?

You stink. Hey. Oh, your chair's warm. So is yours, mate. Yeah. I don't know if you've seen the size of your rump. I'm pre-diabetic. That makes sense.

Oh, there's a green juice. Oh, I like these positions. Your headphones aren't very loud. Aren't they? No. I've got very oversensitive ears. I'm like a bat. I'm like a fruit bat.

Do they have oversensitive ears? I think so. They're supersonic, aren't they, Jenna? Oh, look that up. Thank you. Please Google it. All right, I'm going to try your green juice here. Go on.

Is it avocado in it? Severely allergic. No. up. Thank you. Please Google it. I'm going to try your green juice here. Go on. Is it avocado in it? Severely allergic. No. No. As if. Look how thick that is. Okay. Does that come out of button bar one?

Yeah. It's off. Let's see if I can remember how to do this. Yeah. It's random. What is this? MTM show wall. Oh, this is the show that I do.

No, don't, don't, don't. They're my sound effects for the show I do at night. Oh, well, where's ours? Make sure. Ijem wall. I was on it. Oh, there we go. God. do. No, don't, don't, don't. They're my sound effects for the show I do at night. Oh, well, where's ours? Make sure, Ijum Wall. I was on it. Oh, there we go. God, I thought this would be more productive. What do you mean?

This is like when they do- You should never assume that we're going to be productive. This is undercover boss. You know when the boss comes into the workplace? He's like the head of Amazon. He's like, all right, let me work in the factory. He kills three people. And he's got a wig on.

Fake prosthetics. A fake nose. Face on, burns and a peeling off. And he's like, my wife, Jennifer, is really sick. And all the workers are like, you are the CEO of this company. You're on the news every night. And the workers are like, oh, we would never hire you. And then he comes back the next week and he's like, Jamie, I heard your story.

Pulls off the prosthetics and they're like, they know the whole time. I'm giving you and your family $10,000. And then they start crying and they're like, I thought I recognised you from someone. The induction. That was last week. Oh, God. Hey, what is this doing on our sound effects board? Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.

Questions. When were we going to use that? Why did you put that there just in case? I haven't planned for next week. It's just there, like it belongs. I've just got this whole computer screen full of idjim sound effects. They all look like they belong there.

Coughing fit, opener, generic bed, podcast reset, and then just the days of our lives opener. What made you think, oh shit, we might need that? It's for next week. I don't want to reveal it. Are you kidding? Don't hook people in if it's bullshit. It's not coming next week. I don't know. It's for next week. I don't want to reveal it. Are you kidding? Don't hook people in if it's bullshit. Yeah, it's not coming next week. I don't know.

It's a mistake. I just wanted to pretend I was right. I think we've done too much, okay? This segment... Where did this come from? I think we need to wrap it. No, I like it. So it's AD debrief. It's our secret segment at the end of the show. My

fervent hope is that everyone tunes out when they think the show's over and don't actually look at the fact that the show has 20 minutes left because i don't want this i don't want this to be the indicator that people get of what the show is but that's not going to happen people are going to see 20 minutes and they're going to listen we're going to you know what we should do we should leave a like a like a 30-second silence after the main episode's finished. And then we'll just add a, psst, hey you, super fan. And then every week we should choose different causes to dedicate that 30 seconds of silence to. Yeah.

Okay, what's this week? RSPCA. Oh, God love them. You and your 12 dead dogs. Isn't it funny that ever since Mitch took over, no one is tweeting. They must hate the show now. No one is tweeting, not one person. That's so sad.

Do you want it back? Huh? Do you want it back? Trust me, the moment I get back there, the tweets will flood in. Of course. Let's try. Come on, Mike.

Your mic is so much louder than mine. Are you sabotaging me? No, this is an announcer mic. You have a guest mic. I'm on tweet deck at the moment. Oh, yeah? We've got zero so far, but let's just wait and see. I'm sitting back down now. Okay, so I hate to keep bringing

it back to the fact that this is a podcast and not radio, but this is not live. That's why we don't have tweets. No, he's not wrong. We're not going to receive them as people are listening because that's impossible. Oh my god! I sit back down for one second! I'm like a rat!

They love me! Oh, one more. Also, my microwave food's ready. We need to go. He's getting carried away. The ADD brief is just gone to your head. I'm not. Oh, hold on. Who's this? Special guest. Who is it? Ladies and gentlemen. Hi! It's me! Funny, says someone.

That's lovely. Throve McManus. Poor thing. God. What would he know? We follow him. We'll be off air by next week. Oh!

Well, thank you for joining us for the very first episode of Is It Just Me? You're not wrong. You're not wrong. Mitch. He's on Tinder. You found one. Got a super like. Did ya?

Thank you for joining us, everyone. Very quiet tweet there. Thanks for joining us. It's been so much fun. You've been in a very grumpy mood, Mitchell. No, I just don't like this part of the show. I think it's the best. I agree with you there.

Even Jenna agrees with you. So I think that, you know know when someone goes to the hairdresser for like a wedding, they get their hair really nicely done. They put in a lot of effort. It looks amazing. Yes. That's our show. We put in effort.

This, this section is like some fucking bird's nest looking shit with a rat's tail, nits. Like it's not good. This is I Need to Speak to the Manager. That's what this is. Purple foils. With grey twined in. You know what word I haven't heard for years?

What? Streaks in relation to hair and not Snapchat. Yeah, I agree with you. Or foils. I just said foils. You said streaks. I said foils before, didn't I? I'm glad someone listens to me.

Anyway, we'll be back next week. Jenna's going to be doing Witch Mitch, which is where we find out how big your head is. That's not how it was pitched to me. Oh, did we not cover that off, Jenna? You didn't tell me. Maybe we didn't. Well, I thought we did, but obviously.

Or maybe he wasn't listening, as always. He does that. Yeah, maybe. Is this going to be our, like, closing music for the first show? I actually don't hate that at all. I've been Mitch. The rule of ADD Brief is that we don't plan anything, so. Anything happens.

Everyone say bye, Mitch. Goodbye. Jenna. Bye. Hi. Bye. Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!

Hi!