Is It Just Me? - #103: Top 5 Easter Chocolates

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

Happy Easter, idiots!In this episode:Gaslighting Jenna: The Easter Edition (01:48)Churi’s radio doppelgänger (06:52)When you forget how to be an adult (10:25)An ‘Is It Just YOU?’ from a listener (12:31)Jenna ABANDONS the show (13:35)TV Tings: These NZ ads are FUCKED (15:34)Jenna’s Junk - Piblings, Streetlights & Shit Carnivals (28:36)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (48:21)Follow us @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay, hi guys. Psst, can you hear us? Yeah, hi. Before we get into the episode, we just wanted to let you know that right at the start, when the episode begins, we're going to be doing another one of these. Gaslighter, denier. We are gaslighting Jenna. You know, we like to make our third wheel feel like she's losing her mind a little bit.

It's all harmless fun. It's a bit of fun. It's all consensual. She doesn't know it's coming though. Yeah, this time we're going to be gaslighting her into thinking that we agreed to give each other Easter presents. Yeah. Kind of like Secret Santa, but it's Secret Bunny. And so we're going to make her think that she was meant to give me a present.

Yeah. And then make her feel guilty for forgetting. And we actually have chocolates. You've got chocolates for me. And I've got a Ferrero share chocolate for her. Yeah. So we're going to pretend that, yeah, I pulled Mitch Turi out of the hat. You pulled Jenna.

And she pulled me, and where the fuck is my present, Jenna? Where's my secret bunny present? Oh, we're evil! So yeah, just giving you a heads up that that's what's going to be happening right at the start of the show. Enjoy. People do some weird shit. Would you like to try a vape? Why would you take up something

that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think for people. I'll tell you why. Because you're young and stupid. Some things make more sense than others. You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know how you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate mousse. No.

You know, I had it in the car on the way home, and I didn't have a spoon, so I was like an armadillo trying to get ants out of a hole. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. Being fingered is an awful sensation. Getting fingered by the right person. Goodness me. This is Is It Just Me?

Hosted by a couple of Mitches. Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. I'm sorry. Ta-da! Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Oh, hello, everybody. 103 is here, Mitchell Coombs. Hello, hello. Is it too early to say Happy Easter?

No, it's definitely not too early to say Happy Easter, especially considering I think we should jump right into Secret Bunny. Secret Bunny, yes. It's our last episode before we take a bit of an Easter break, so it's our Secret Bunny. You know how we were saying last week we're going to do similar to Secret Santa. I don't know if I've heard of Secret Bunny before. I think we coined it. I'm happy to claim it.

I think it'll catch on. It works because everyone gives one gift and then everyone receives one gift. I've got chocker. Are we allowed to tell each other who we got? Yes. Remember last week, all three of us, Price Keeper Jenna included, we pulled out a name out of a hat. Yes.

I mean, I got you, Mitchell. So I got you your Easter present. You ready? I'm excited to get a go. Here you go. Darling, I know that you're a fan of a feast, so, you know, I got you quite a big Easter present.

Here it is. There you are. It's a big-ass Cadbury thing because I know you prefer that over Red Chula. I love Easter. Yeah. Excellent Easter assortment, Milk, Dark and White. Thank you.

Yeah, it's a big mix. I know that you always have family functions, so I figured that could be your thing when told not to bring a thing. Oh, the chews will scoff that down in a second. And I got Jenna, so I got Jenna. There you go. You got Jenna. What is going on?

Happy Easter. There you go, Jenna. There's yours. Hey, yay. The Ferrero Rocher. I mean, it's no mystery who Jenna got then. I'm the last one left, so you've got an Easter present for me, Jenna. I'm not geniuses, yeah.

I'm your secret bunny. We never discussed this. Secret bunny. We did it last week during 102. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. Oh, God. We all pulled it out of a hat.

It's fine, Jenna. You always forget things, unless I remind you. Did you you did. Oh, God. We all pulled it out of a hat. It's fine, Jenna. You always forget things, unless I remind you. Did you actually not get me chili and chocolate? Can you... Maybe she just didn't understand it last week when we explained it. I bungle up rules all the time. Call out to there. No one's out there, Jenna.

Just say... What? She's running out. Wow, she panicked that much. Grant? Grant? What is she doing? A bilby.

I hate it. Okay. Did you just try and rob someone of their Easter present? She just tried to rob a staff member of a bilby. I gifted him a bilby. So you forgot to get, you knew who you were buying for, you pulled it out of the hat. Jenna, I'm one of your oldest friends. Dearest.

I'm so confused. This was your idea. No, it wasn't. You said it in the group chat. It's a cute name, but I don't. No, this is bullshit. Because she was at Big W and she said, do you think Mitch would like this? I said, Jenna, we're not meant to know who

gets who. Oh, yeah, that spoiled it. When was that? You messaged me on Thursday. No. We drew them out of the hat last week. Oh my God. Well, give me the Ferrero Rocher back then. That's disgusting. No, you guys may as well have your chocolate. I'm used to missing out. Poor Mitchell.

Gaslighter. That wasn't funny. Got you. Oh, that's where you're wrong. I thought that was hilarious. That wasn't funny. Don't. I nearly had a heart attack. Did you think you had early onset?

Yes. Whatever that is. She's had that before, so she recognises the symptoms. Now, you don't get to keep the chocolates. They're on lay-by. We have to send them back. So, give them back. Yeah, imagine if you could rent Easter chocolate just for props.

I'm sure you could. Well, I just gave one of the newsreaders a bilby that I found. That you found? Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with you? Where did you find it? In the Jonesy and Amanda. Oh, they get to send that much free shit in the hopes that Amanda Keller will cry about it on air.

Jenna's like Peter Pan. She steals from the rich and then gives to the poor newsreaders. Yep, those poor newsreaders. Not on enough. So I thought I'd have to steal it off him again. We got you. Happy Easter, everybody. Thanks for these choccies, though, Mitch.

Yeah, no, I committed to the gang. You actually got presents. Yeah. Well, here you go. Nah, I'm on a diet. It's all good. Okay. You know what?

I thought Mitch's legs looked fantastic when you walked in. Absolutely. They're good. They're nice legs. Thank you. You've got good legs. Yeah, it's all I Absolutely. They're good. They're nice legs. Thank you. You've got good legs. Yeah, it's all I've got going for me. That'd be silly.

That's why I'm a bit frightened about heading into winter, because I've got to cover my best asset to keep warm. No. I'll risk the pneumonia to keep the pins out. It's all good. You're not your best asset. You've also got this show. Let's go, everybody.

Welcome to the show. If this is your first time listening, this is Is It Just Me? Every week we start the show the same way, with something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. We should gaslight Jenna one week and say, every week we start the show if this is your first time listening. This is Is It Just Me? Every week we start the show the same way with something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. We should gaslight Jenna one week and say every week we start the show the same way with two political takes. And then start it with two political takes and see if she believes it.

As you know, we start the show the same way every week with Jenna's political wrap up. Jenna, what's been happening? As you know, we start the show the same way every week since the Ukraine crisis. Jenna wraps up what's going on in the sea of Beirut. Jenna. Oh, don't. Yeah, so we start with the two is it just me's and then also what have we got coming up?

Gaslight, Jenna. We did that. Tick. Yep. And then we've also got Jenna's Junk. Jenna's Junk. Great. That's where all our worst ideas come back to bite us.

It's always a bit chaotic, that one. And we're not gaslighting you, Jenna. You know that's happening. And also, I've got a bit of a show and tell myself, really, because you know how we love ads on this show. We're always talking about iconic Aussie ads. Well, I've got something that is just so messed up, I can't wait to show you. It's very dark.

It's very our humour. I can't believe I didn't know these ads existed. Perfect. Well, I'll tell you, my Is It Just Me Too is an ad in itself, and we didn't plan this, Mitchell. It's an ad that we're playing on Kiss and WSFM, which I didn't realise, Jenna, where you work, that I've been sent more than a dozen times. Would you want to just get it over and done with now?

Yeah, yeah, let's start. Welcome to the show, everyone. First Digim of the day. Is it just me or... Do you not think that this ad sounds anything like me? Flora, flora, it's made from sunflowers. Flora, flora, it tastes great too. Flora, flora... It's made from sunflowers. Flora, flora. It tastes great too. Flora, flora. No, that could easily be you. That is you.

Also, what's flora? Flora is the butter or the margarine spread that's made with sunflower seeds, I think. Unpopular opinion. I much prefer margarine over butter. Oh, no. It's spreadable. You're right. I use it because it's good for my heart, but I prefer the taste of butter.

Oh, the taste, 100%. Yeah. Spreadability-wise, Flora. Yeah, didn't someone post in our Facebook group in During Idiots, they said, oh, does Mitch voice the new Flora ad? And it could easily have been you because they do often drag you into the recording booth here at the radio station to get you to do things. I've heard you doing all sorts of things on air, like Santa.

Merry Christmas. What else have they gotten you to do? I've been Santa, obviously the famed Cash Cock. Good morning, Kyle! I haven't heard Cash Cock in ages. Neither have I. He's coming out! Nice one! Sorry, he hasn't been around. He doesn't know

social cues. What's going on in Ukraine? He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He hasn't been around. I love Harvey Weinstein in the movies. No. That's not. The cash cock is not woke at all. He hasn't been out since it all happened, you see.

Oh, God. So, you know, that very much sounds like you. And it sounds like something that you'd be roped into doing. One more time. Hold on. Ready? Flora. Flora.

It's very fun. Hold on. Stop. Stop the ad. Now you do it. Yeah. Flora. Flora. Fun for me and you. Flora. Flora. It's very fun. Hold on. Stop the ad. Now you do it. Flora, Flora. Fun for me and you.

Flora, Flora. Me, me, me, me, me. It's you. Flora, Flora. Oh, my God. Flora, Flora. He's great too. It's me.

It's me. Yeah, wow. See, I'm not getting paid enough for that. I could do that. I could take his job. All of a sudden I want to rush up and buy Flora. It's really working. We shouldn't be singing

these brennets. Is it just me? I think I'm easy to do an impression of though, before we move on. I think I am. I think I'm easy to do an impression of though. Shut up! Shut up! Yeah, it's a high register. I've never heard anyone do a Mitchell Coombs impression. Nor have I, actually. It's quite frustrating.

No, see, you want to go up. Stop. No, it's hard because, no, think about it. You want to go up, but you're lower than me. Yeah, this is where a lot of people get confused because they think I've got a high-pitched voice, but it's actually just a feminine tone. Like, I speak lower than you. You do. You speak higher.

So if you had to, on a piano, if you had to find the keys where our voice sits, mine's technically lower down on the piano. Yes. But it's just because I've got such a feminine tone that everyone thinks, oh, he's got a high-pitched voice. And because I'm such a beautiful, sexual, top, masculine man, they think, oh, he's got a low-pitched voice. Even though you speak really high-pitched, this is your tone.

It disguises it as being manly. Isn't that wild? It'd be like you playing a high note on a trumpet and me playing a really low note on a flute. But because it's a fucking flute, it still sounds more dainty. Yes, I get you. It'd be like you playing a high note on a trumpet and me playing a really low note on a flute. But because it's a fucking flute, it still sounds more dainty. Yes, I get you. All right, well, I'm going to put the call out, ladies and gentlemen.

If you think you can do a Mitchell Coombs, hold on, let's do it. Let's put the call out. If you believe you can do an impression of Mitchell Coombs, hit us up at couple of Mitches and we will get you on the show when we're back. I'd be very surprised if someone comes through because I've done it before on my Instagram. Who can do an impression of me? And like maybe two people bothered and it was not even close. Alright, the call out is out, ladies and gentlemen.

If you can do a Mitchell Coombs impression, hit us up. At couple of Mitches on Instagram? Is that where they're hitting us up? Yeah, hit us up. Great. Okay. Can't wait for that. Alright, you ready for yours, Mitchell? Yeah, sure. Hit me. Let's jump in. Is it just me or... Whenever you're back

at home at your parents' place, do you instantly relapse into being a child? Oh my god. It's like I never left. I walk in the door, drop my keys, put on a nappy. I'm like, I don't need to wipe myself. That's their job now. No, it's like I just forget everything I've learnt whilst living out of home and fending for myself for the last seven years, maybe even eight years. I've lost count. But yeah,

I've been an adult for quite a while. And yet as soon as I go home, which I'll be doing for Easter, back to Bogengate, I'm just like, mum, how long do I put this in the microwave for? I just forget everything. And it's too many noodles. It's on the package. Yeah. Or like, mum, can I open this? Like I just find a packet of something. Can I put this in the microwave for? I just forget everything. And it's too many noodles. It's on the package. Yeah. Or like, mum, can I open this? Like I just find a packet of something. Can I open this?

Oh, that is the, mum, can I, mum, are you using this? Is this for anything? Mum, do you have any snacks? Yeah. Oh yeah. I'll open the cupboard, which is quite clearly full. And I'll go, is there anything to eat? Yeah.

Like I just need her to make the decision for me. I'm really critical. I go, you guys really lost it since I left. What? Just because I had all the fat food in the fridge. Yes. I just need her to make the decision for me. I'm really critical. I go, you guys have really lost it since I left. What? Just because I had all the fat food in the fridge. Yes, I do the same. I also have to make my bed now as an adult in my house with Hayden. And I guess-

Did your mum make your bed? Yeah, I never used to make my bed. Wow. I lived at home. I lived at home, yeah. Yeah, wow. I always did it. I don't do it.

Even though I know how to do it and shoot, I'm like, no! That's the luxury of this hotel. No, she- My mum would try and make my bed, but they're like, ah, ah, ah, you're going to do it wrong. Just let me do it. Yeah. Yeah. But don't you also think it's kind of like mums more so want to do it because it's like

we miss our babies. Oh, yeah. She got really upset with me one time. I think I might have told this story before. But anyway, I occasionally, if I ever went home, I'd bring my washing basket full of dirty laundry with me and then she'd put it in the wash, do the washing for me. And then one time I came home and she's like, where's your washing?

And I was like, oh, I don't have any. I did a load before I came. She's like, my boy doesn't need me anymore. She really, really was so upset with me. I can soil myself if you really want to do it, ma. If you need. Quick, I'll just chunder want to do it, ma. If you need. Quick, I'll just chunder on this white shirt. Yeah.

There you are. You're welcome. Is it just me? You should follow these idiots online. Search couple of Mitches. If you don't, you're a little bitch. Okay, we hand the show over to you, the listeners at this point, every week with an Is It Just You.

Mitch and I both have done our Is It Just Me's. Now it's your turn. If you want to get on, you just have to DM us at coupleofmitches on Instagram and you can jump on the phone, send us a voice message up to you. What have we got today? Harry has sent this on Instagram to voice message. Let's go. This is Harry's Is It Just You. Is it just me or does it feel like an eternity since we last had an episode from you guys?

No. What? We literally do episodes every week. Just you, Harry. Yeah, that's just you. And thanks to you, Harry, you're the reason we're taking a break. Yeah, we're just having a bit of time off over Easter. This isn't just you would have made sense after that.

We've been doing weekly episodes for ages. No, Mitch and I were talking this morning. You know what? Let's skip Easter break. Thanks to you, Harry. Yeah, and also it's a podcast. You can get it I were talking this morning. You know what? Let's skip Easter break. Thanks to you, Harry. Yeah, and also it's a podcast. You can get it on demand whenever you want. Yeah, true.

Is it just me? Have they stopped making episodes of Smash? Yeah, they have. It's done. Oh. What's that? Sorry. Jenna, is that your phone?

Yeah. Turn it on. Do not disturb. What's that old showbiz rule? If your phone goes off on air, you have to buy everyone a case of beer. No, it's not my phone going off. Remember I said I have to do the work experience thing. It's my alarm.

Where are you doing work experience? No, it's not me doing it. I'm teaching somebody else. Jenna's at Pet Barn. Don't judge her. She wants to get involved with the hermit crabs. The CEO's son. Oh, are you leaving mid-podcast?

Yeah, I have to. What are we going to do about Janice Junk? Yeah, we have a whole Janice Junk to do. You can't. Yeah. It's your one segment. I definitely wasn't told about this. I did not know this was happening.

Oh, sorry. I knew, but I thought you said it was midday. No, it was originally. Well, we can't wait. Why don't you just- Do you know what? Work experience is important, so you better go be with him, because I remember being left in the corner doing nothing at work experience, and it was fucking so harrowing.

So, yeah, go teach him something. True. Mitch and I both did work experience with Ben Fordham and we still connect to him. And you want to be able to have this kid call you in 10 years and cough at you down the phone. I would love that. Yeah, can you come back?

We'll block areas. Can you just voice all of the Jenna's junks now and I'll edit them in later. Okay. All right. La, la, la, la, la. We won't hear it. Okay, go.

Okay, great. Off you go, Jenna. Okay. See ya. Bye. What a mess, honestly. You should work. I know.

You'd think it should be organised. These things can so easily be dealt with off air rather than having to happen on the podcast, but here we are. Sorry. Thanks, Jenna. Bye. I'll see if I can come back. Yeah, but you know what?

Bring him in, maybe. Yeah, all right. I don't think that's a good idea. Neither do I. She won't. How old is this work experience? Thirteen. Thirteen? You know what? Bring him in, maybe. Yeah, all right. I don't think that's a good idea. Otherwise, she won't. How old is this work experience? She was 13. 13?

You know what? He did. Because his dad is the CEO of ARN, which is WS, which is KISS, which is everything. And he doesn't know where he wants to work. So he's doing all the different departments. So he sat on my brekkie show the last two days. And yesterday, on air, I dared him to go to his dad's office and get the company card and buy me a bacon and egg roll.

And he did it? He did it. He's impressionable. He's very sweet. Oh, okay. I can't walk all over that. No. All right.

What are we doing now? Well, Jenna is going to miss these brilliant ads that I wanted to show off today. Oh, God. Let's do it. Saw me on the television. So you know how we love a good ad on this podcast? It's our bread and butter, really. Yeah.

Whether we're shit canning ads or, you know, doing our favourite ads, we've talked about them many, many times. Yes. And I've just discovered, oh, these ads I'm about to show you, they're iconic for all the wrong reasons. Right. They used to air in New Zealand. My friend Andrew from there, he was telling me about them the other day.

They are so fucked up. So what they do in these ads is they trick you into thinking that it's a normal ad. Right. So it might be someone saying, oh, and that's why I buy Weet-Bix. But then halfway through the ad, the person just has a dreadful accident. And it turns out that it's actually an ad for accident compensation. That's very smart. Yeah, they're ACC ThinkSafe ads.

And it's just so wrong. They're catfish ads. They are. They clickbait you into thinking it's one thing, and then it's actually they have a fucking horrific accident. Genius. So I'll show you the first one. This guy he's doing an ad for paint or so we think. He's painting his house

and then falls off his ladder. Okay, here is the first one. A job's worth doing. It's worth doing right. That's why I use New Solar Shield. Blows on like a dream. Protects against... Preventing falls around your home.

Fell off his fucking roof. Can be as easy as securing your letter. It's so graphic. You see him fall and basically break his back. And then he, hold on. Then he moans and groans. And then there's a tight shot of the paint pulling out like blood. See what I mean?

Like that is so dark. But I didn't even hear the voiceover. What the fuck was it for? Go back. Hold on. Rewind it. Yeah, okay. This is the end of it.

But the voiceover just sounds like it's guilt tripping this guy for having an accident. Yeah. Idiots don't put their letters in unsafe spots. Preventing falls around your home can be as easy as securing your letter. I guess it is. I mean, I guess. And then it gets worse. Yeah.

So this next one I'm going to show you, there's a mum walking around her lounge room. Oh, not a mum. She's doing an ad for Fruity Bars. Okay, but don't tell me. I want to be surprised a mum. She's doing an ad for Fruity Bars. Okay, but don't tell me. I want to be surprised. I just want to know that it's Fruity Bars. Okay, we'll reveal the horrific accident afterwards. I'm sure you'll be able to hear it.

Yes. Okay, ad number two. Kids have bundles of energy, but they need the right snacks to keep them going. That's why I give my kids pretty bars. That fool. Preventing trips around your home can be as easy as tidying up toys. She fell into a glass coffee table out of nowhere. Sorry.

She tripped into a king furniture solid glass coffee table. And then you can hear her, like, whimpering afterwards. She's like, oh, it's so wrong. While holding a music bar while her kids play in the backyard. And my friend who grew up in New Zealand says, it just gave all of us anxiety because every ad we'd be wondering, fuck, is something awful going to happen halfway through? And then there's a drone shot from above the ceiling with this woman groaning while she's got glass in her abdomen. What was the voiceover you were doing it for this time?

Let's go back. That's why I give my kids pretty burns. That fool. Pretty birds. Preventing trips around your home can be as easy as tidying up toys. Oh, she just tripped on a little Tonka truck. The poor bitch gets shamed for not cleaning her house. Oh, it's a man's world. Clearly think safe. If Nancy really loved her children, she would have cleaned her house.

Think safe. I also want to say, guys, the way she wails before she falls. She's like, ah! Ready? It's gold. Pretty birds. A fool. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! And the close-up on the Tonka truck wheel spinning. It's a work of art. That's awful. All right, is there a third one? Yeah, the last one.

So this guy, he's doing an ad for home loans because he's moving house. Okay, of course he is. Do you want me not to spoil it again? No, it's better when you don't spoil it. It's better because I did not see that woman headbutting a fantastic furniture coffee table. Her whole body fell through the glass coffee table. I just feel like that shit doesn't happen. Okay, sorry.

Ad number three. Let's go. Go wrong. There's one home loan that's pre-approved. So you can move into your new home faster. There's no fence. And it's totally flexible. So if your lifestyle changes...

Fell down the stairs. Fell down a flight of stairs. Look at his leg. Oh! Preventing trips around your home can be as easy as taking care on stairs. It's bent backwards. Yeah, they showed his broken leg. Oh, and I knew it was coming too because he was walking near the stairwell.

See what I mean? It's so messed up. Imagine if we did that bullshit in Australia. You couldn't get away with that. Imagine how much worse my anxiety would be as a human if that's the shit we grew up watching. Oh my God, 100%. Just constantly worried something's going to go wrong. Imagine if we did it on the radio.

Like, imagine if, God forbid, what we spoke about before. Flora, flora. It's me from Sunflowers. Flora, flora. He's been shot and killed. Oh God, what about if there is... That was Flora, Flora. He's been shot and killed. Oh, God. What about if they... You know those Amy ads with Ronda Riggins and Couture?

They're just on the beach and there's a fucking tsunami. Just halfway through. I love you like a... Couture! Well, imagine if... Have you seen that Not Happy Jan ad? Yeah, iconic. Yeah.

Can you find that on YouTube? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine it's halfway through that. Do you have a Not Happy Jan ad? Yeah, iconic. Yeah. Can you find that on YouTube? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine it's halfway through that. Do you have a car crashing sound effect? Oh, I can get one. Of course you do. She's just yelling at Jan out the window, Not Happy Jan, and then Jan just gets hit by a car.

And she'll forever live with guilt. Yeah, she would. Those were her last words before Jan was killed. Here's the ad. Ready? Hold on. Here we go. Jan?

Jan? Famous Aussie ad. Where's our ad in the Yellow Pages directory? Jan is like, oh, fuck, she's going to be spewing. I'm going to run away. The boss is going to yell at me. Jan's running out of the office. Just to go home.

Running through the street. Not happy, Jan! Oh, another one! Oh! How does she go? Crossing the road can be as easy as looking twice. Oh my God, look what's just played next on YouTube. You know this ad?

This is famous. Oh, it's muted. Unmute it. Oh, sorry, sorry. There you go. Here. Oh God. The Telstra ad. This is famous. Oh, it's muted. Unmute it. Oh, sorry. Sorry. There you go. Oh, God. The Telstra ad. Yeah, the Telstra ad. Dad, why did they make the Great Wall of China?

Oh! Oh! The kids being massacred! I was not expecting that. You really have to catch them off guard. Jim's mowing. Never be left untrimmed. What about...

It keeps playing big Aussie ads. You know those infomercial kind of ads that happen, like brand power, helping you buy better. Oh, yeah. There's that chick in the supermarket. Imagine if the shelf or the roof collapsed above her. The whole ceiling caved in. Let me see if we've got an earthquake sound effect.

An earthquake? Yeah, I surely have one. Nothing surprises me with your sound effects, Ford. I've got them all. Oh, my God. How long have they been doing these Brand Power ads? Oh, mate, forever. I used to.

My mum used to. You should search it on YouTube. They look so old. There's one from the 90s. Where are the new ones? Here we go. Belvita Brand Power. I actually buy Belvita.

So let's see what they're flogging on Belvita. She's in the 90s. Where are the new ones? Here we go. Belvita brand power. I actually buy Belvita. So let's see what they're flogging on Belvita. She's in the shopping centre. Breakfast gives us energy to kickstart the day. But fitting it into our morning routine can be the hard part. So try Belvita breakfast biscuits. Belvita breakfast biscuits. She's in the aisle. A tasty way to start your day.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. The ceiling's coming down under her. You'd need her going... In the background too, to make it really like these New Zealand ads. What about... God, no, this is fucked. What? You know how you've got the traffic reporters up in the helicopters?

What if one of the helicopters... Vic LaRusso. He's usually on Channel 10, like in the chopper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't he do the ones here as well? The eyes in the sky. I can get one up right now. Of course.

Yeah. Oh, easy. We've got- Of course you've got a traffic reporter up your sleeve. I've got a perfect sound effect. Hold on. Let's go. Oh, God.

It's terrific. Flooding has closed the Northwich Bridge- Oh, that's not Vic. Still works. Still works, yeah. She's in the helicopter. The Windsor Bridge is still open, though there's a section of Windsor Road just down to the bridge that is closed due to flooding.

Oh, the helicopter! Flight safety training can be as easy as... Oh, my God! Microsoft Flight Simulator. It could save your life life I've got one ready What about I loved this ad growing up It's actually one of my favourites

My dad loved it too What is it? The Good Guys Oh yes I remember these This is the original They're in the store getting ready To sell to the people What a snowball is it? Sell to the people. Snow blizzard.

It's in the middle of a blizzard. They're like, oh, our air cons are that good. Oh. A blizzard. Why do you have a blizzard sound effect? Why would you ever need that? I've got plenty. For dates like today, that's why.

Yeah, that's exactly right. You see what I mean when I said this is dark enough that it kind of works for our humour? I think we're done with this. No, I've got one more. No, I found one more sound effect, please. And I know just the show would have worked perfect for it. Oh my God. Okay?

Yeah. This is... And it's on YouTube. Everyone's tuning in, Channel 9, to watch their favourite show. It's the block! It's Scotty Cam. Hello. It's Scotty Cam. Hello. There's Scotty Cam on the roof.

What's going to happen to Scotty? They're on the work site. Beautiful. In the middle of all the Renaults. There he is. Howdy, howdy. It's going to be a good episode. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the block.

Oh, hold on. Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, Scotty's fallen into the wood ch block. Oh, hold on. Oh, no. Oh, Scott has fallen into the wood chipper. He's still talking. I'm going to take it off. Oh, that's his head. He's down.

Scottie's gone. Yeah, no. See, I told you. It's messed up. Yeah, that's fucked. We'd all be traumatised if we grew up in New Zealand. Yeah, that's awful. What can we do with an ad for Huggies Nappies?

No, no, no, no. That's where I draw the line. Is it just me? The rude shocks of young adulthood. Okay. Oh, God, after that, what are we doing now? I'm still recovering. Jenna's Junk, all our worst ideas.

Oh, my God. Without Jenna here, though. Yeah. We've got a Jenna bot in her place. Yeah, I'll make a Jenna bot. That's a throwback. I know. Jenna's Junk, all our worst ideas. Oh, my God. Without Jenna here, though. We've got a Jenna bot in her place. Yeah, I'll make a Jenna bot. That's a throwback. I know. Let's do it. Jenna's Junk, everybody.

Let's take a picture. Oh, hang on. Turn it off. Turn it off. What are you doing back? I'm here. Oh. Where'd the kid go? Someone else.

Is he even here? Yeah, somewhere. Why'd you palm him off to someone else? Well, I don't know what's happening. You've got to look after your own kids, Jenna. You can't do that when someone's a work experience. You've got to make it count for them. You were a work experience kid once.

At the Easter show, yes, that's correct. You have to look after him. He's a baby. That is so weird. She literally walked in as you were playing the opener. What were you doing? Oh, you missed the most fucked thing. Are you a fan of Scotty Cam?

Yeah. He's dead now. He's dead, yeah. No, he's not. Yeah, he fell into a wood chipper. Yeah, we just killed it. You just missed the most fucked thing. Are you a fan of Scotty Cam? Yeah. He's dead now. He's dead, yeah. No, he's not. Yeah, he fell into a wood chipper. Yeah, we just killed him. He fell into a wood chipper. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, you're just going to have to listen to the episode. Yeah, to find out. All right, well, we've already pre-recorded your bits for Janice Junk, so if you want an early mark, you can leave, or you can just do it now. You're telling me before we do a Janice segment, we're going to do a Janice segment. Oh, Jenna. Just so close. Do you want to do your segment,, we're going to do a Jenna segment. Jenna! Do you want to do your segment or do you want to not do your segment?

I have to check on him. I'm concerned. On the kid? Yeah. Why did you come back then? I was curious. I didn't want to miss anything. You missed it.

So do you want to do your segment or not? I'll give it a miss. Okay. Why did you bother coming back? You just wasted our time again. Sorry, I was really curious. I felt left out. Do you want to stay for it?

Get out! You've made your mind up. Do you want to stay for it or no? No, it's fine. Okay, then go. See ya. Bye. Good luck with the kid.

Thanks. No worries. Fuck me, this podcast used to be such a well-oiled machine. How's it going? Jenna, you can't. Really well, actually. Yeah, it's been really great. Yeah.

No interruptions. All right, let's do it. Let's do a segment. Let's take a peek at Jenna's Junk, shall we? So whenever we think of an is it just me to bring up on the show, when we think actually that's a bit shit, I don't like that one, we put it in Jenna's junk and then, yeah, we fish through the junk every so often.

We need to do a cleanse before our Easter break, don't we? But Jenna actually doesn't mind her junk being full. No, and she's very generous to let us do it on the show. Yeah, no. So we're going to have to play these, right, aren't we? Jenna's is just those that we pre-recorded earlier in the show. Yeah. Jenna bot, if you like. Let's go with this that we pre-recorded earlier in the show. Yeah. JennaBot, if you like.

Let's go with this. I actually like a Jenna that we can puppeteer. We can just control her. Yeah, true. All right, let's do the first one. Is it just me, or do tea companies need to be more explicit with their caffeine levels? Ah, that's a me one.

That's a cheery. Now, do you agree? Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't know what you mean. You're going to have to elaborate. I just find if something has caffeine in it, tell us. Because sometimes I want tea as an alternative to coffee, and I drink it, and I don't realise it,

and I want it at 11 o'clock at night, or I want it at 10 o'clock at night. I don't want to stay up, and I have to search the back end. Oh, Roo Boys, black tea, and caffeine-free in the smallest writing. Stick it. Put a sticker on it, guys. I thought that my assumption has always been, and I could be wrong, it happens occasionally, I've always thought that most tea is caffeine free

except for like English breakfast. No, most teas are full of caffeine. Really? The only uncaffeinated teas are the ones that are explicitly uncaffeinated. Like the sleepy time ones? Yes, but that's why I write this down because I went and bought bought a Sleepy Time tea from a health food store full of caffeine. What? Redundant.

Oh, for God's sake. That's like getting petrol. It doesn't actually work in your car. Yeah. It's like buying a burger and they didn't clarify that it's actually made of Play-Doh. Yeah, exactly. You can't eat it. Yeah.

Sucked in. Yep. Piss me off. Anyway, tea companies, if you're listening, Lipton or Dilmar, put a sticker on it. What am I drinking now? Lipton. What do you have? That's full of caffeine. Yeah, that's why I'm drinking it. Seeton or Dilmar, put a sticker on it. What am I drinking now? Lipton. What do you have? That's full of caffeine.

Yeah, that's why I'm drinking it. See, an English breakfast, yeah, it makes sense. In the morning, you want the caffeine. Anyway, I'm very right about this. But I feel like there's drastically less caffeine than in a coffee. You're probably fine. There is. There is.

You know, it's full in bubble tea, too, in Boba. Is it? It's full of caffeine, yeah. Fuck. I know. And the more you know, everyone, saved your life. Yeah. Right, what's the next one?

Is it just me, or did you think DNA tests would be a bigger part of your adult life? Oh, yeah, that was me. I really thought that a DNA test was something that I was going to have to deal with at some stage. Yeah. Like, they make it out, like, in the movies. Like, it's so common practice. Like, oh, got to get a DNA test, find out if that kid's mine. Yeah.

Or like, oh, get a DNA test. Are you my real father? Like, they just make it sound like it's so easy. Can you just pop into the chemist, like. Or like, oh, get a DNA test. Are you my real father? Like, they just make it sound like it's so easy. Can you just pop into the chemist like a rat test and just get a DNA test? Where would you even start if you wanted a DNA test? No idea. And does DNA even look like what it does in the movies, like that weird little twisty ladder thing?

Oh, yeah. I bet it doesn't. I bet they're lying to us. I've got no clue, to be honest. I've often thought of suggesting that my brother get a DNA test because he looks nothing like me. He is. And I'm like, oh, Jane. Well, the fact that I was so hard to conceive

and I had to do other methods, you know, I'm a test tube baby and, you know, very difficult for my parents to conceive another child and then all of a sudden this blonde fucker shows up. I'm like, Jane, you were doing the dirty so maybe I should look into these DNA tests. That's why you're so into the DNA because there's something in it. Your brother is very handsome. I saw a photo of him on Instagram. That's why you're so into the DNA because there's something in it. Your brother is very handsome. I saw a photo of him on Instagram.

That's what I mean. He can't be my father. He does look like your mum. All right. Let's see the next one. Is it just me or is outing someone for doing a poo the worst thing you could do to anyone? This is very topical. This is me.

I never do it because I think it's awful. No, I agree. You know when someone's doing a poo. You just know it. Do you, though? Yeah. Because I just genuinely don't think about it. I don't care how long someone's been gone.

I just don't think about it. I'm aware of it. No, I know. I can sense it. I did it this morning because I'm doing the breakfast radio show, Filling in for Kyle and Jackie O at the moment, and my hours are ridiculous. So my morning poo that normally hits me at 11 is hitting me at like 5.30am.

Right. Because I've had two coffees by that point. And I went out and I pre-recorded some radio and then went to the toilet to do a poo. Came back and they all went, how's your poo? I go, don't out me. Oh, no, that office is the worst for this. They always used to do that. Like, oh, you went and did a shit, didn't you?

And I just started being like, yeah, I did. Yes. Everyone shits. You have to own it. And I went, you know what? It was fantastic. Yeah. But old me, maybe five years ago i would have been i would have gone no i didn't poo no i didn't poo but why am i why am i defending my poo yeah no i've noticed that my friends always um if they do a shit at my place there's a few of my friends that always try and

cover up that they did it because they might have been gone in the bathroom for a while yeah and they'll come out and be like oh my god i God, I just like was sitting there watching TikToks. I just got, you know, I just got distracted. Oh, my God, I was sitting there for ages and I was like, oh, my God, I forgot I'm on the toilet. I'm like, babe, I don't need the elaborate fucking hysterics. Like, I don't need it. I don't care if you were shitting.

I didn't even notice you were missing. I've gone as far sometimes as to lie. Oh, that's so unlike you too. That's really out of character. Sometimes I'll say, oh, I ran into Steve in the hallway. Like, Steve died a year ago. Do you know in Australia, in America, you would never say, oh, I'm just

going to go to the toilet. You know, in Australia, we go, I'm going to go to the toilet, which just means you might need to wash your hands. What do they say? The restroom? The restroom or the washroom. The washroom. The washroom. For them, the toilet is the singular item. That's like me going, oh, I'm just going to go to the sink instead of the kitchen. They think, why would you single out the toilet?

That is weird. Like, oh, I'm just going to go to the chair. I'm going to do the American version. You tell me where you think I'm going. Okay. All right. I'm just going to go to the counter. Oh, the bench.

I don't know. McDonald's. Oh, right. We're being that little, are we? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just going to go sit in the driver's seat. You're going to the car. Yeah, see, that's better.

You know what I mean? Shut up, America. Yeah, they don't like being specific, do they? No, no, very broad. I think it's very Australian to just be very literal, especially Melburnians. Have you noticed? Really? They don't even call, yeah, Melburnians, people in Melbourne don't even call sausage sandwiches

sausage sandwiches. They call them sausage and bread. I know. Like absolute idiots. I know. They don't call morning morning. They call it sun up first. All right.

What's the next, Janice? Is it just me or have you ever wondered what you call a non-binary aunt or uncle? I was just thinking about this the other day because I'm like, what if someone is gender neutral and they use they, them pronouns? Because aunt or uncle, that applies to a male or female specifically. Like I'm an uncle. But what if you're non-binary and you don't identify as either? What do you call them? Well, uncle has masculine or male connotations.

Oh, that's really interesting. What would you call them? No, don't bring this back again. What? It's not fucking uncle. No. No, because that's also uncle. Like would you call a, oh my God, would you call a lesbian No, don't bring this back again. What? It's not fucking gunkle. No. No, because that's also uncle. Like, would you call a...

Oh, my God. Would you call a lesbian auntie a lanty? Or a bisexual auntie? My banty. But, like, I don't know what else you call it if you're removing gender from it. Is it, like, instead of a grandparent, like, oh, my grandcousin. What do you call a non-binary aunt or uncle? Hey, Jenna, can you Google it?

Oh, wait. Oh, what a shame. Idiot. What do you call a non-binary aunt or uncle? Hey, Jenna, can you Google it? Oh, what a shame. Idiot. She's training a kid. What do you call a non-binary? Do we have any friends of the show that identify as non-binary? We could ask. Oh, my God.

Surely this isn't correct. Go. One gender neutral term that has become increasingly popular is pibbling. Oh. Pibbling can refer to either an aunt or uncle and is modelling on sibling blended with P for parent. Oh, my God. So parent, sibling, pibbling.

Yeah, your parent, sibling. Oh, pibbling Mitchell. Oh, pibbling Mitch is here. And then your gay pibbling is gibbling. Oh, fucking hell. Giblings. I've never heard pibbling before. Mitchell, it's not real.

What's the website? It's probably pinknews. Dictionary.com. You know what I have a beef with? What? I say, I'm trying to unlearn it. What? Is, ladies and gentlemen, because it's the binary.

It's feeding the binary, and I say it all the time. Yeah, you do, but I don't think that's like an evil thing that you do. It's just a habit, really. Well, it's unlearning that. Yeah, I'm not doing it intentionally. You're not excluding people on purpose. I'd throw myself into a wood chopper if I was doing it intentionally. How dare I? All right, what's the next one? habit, really. Well, it's unlearning that. Yeah, I'm not doing it intentionally. You're not, you know, excluding people on purpose. I'd throw myself into a woodchopper if I was doing it intentionally. How dare I?

All right, what's the next one? Go, Jim. Is it just me or do we need to rethink streetlights? The only reason I say this is because I was picking up Hayden from the airport the other day and- Where did he come back from? Oh my God, the poor fool. Queensland.

Far north Queensland. Oh. He hired a catamaran with five of his closest friends. I was meant to go, but I couldn't because I was on air. And it was the rainiest Queensland has ever had. Rainiest month at Queensland. Oh, fuck that. Poor little thing.

Wanted to get a suntan. Anyway. The streetlights? I picked him up. Yeah, back to the streetlights. They are, it's actually adorable, Mitch. Normal streetlights, how tall do you reckon they are? Is that 20 metres?

Probably 25 metres? I actually, oh yeah, maybe 25. For the international listeners, 25 metres, 10 feet. A streetlight is a light on the side of the road that illuminates your path. Hayden is my loving partner. The streetlights are a quarter of the size. At the airport? Yeah, they're probably just taller than me. They're adorable!

I've never noticed. It's the cutest little streetlights ever. And I think we need to rethink streetlights because sometimes I want to look at a cute streetlight. I don't want to look at a gangly long pole thing. They're ugly. Streetlights are hideous. Actually, can you vamp for a bit?

I'll just go on Street View. Oh, okay. That's a good idea. Google Street View. Why are we looking at streetlights? I'm going to put it up behind you. Ready? You'll be able to see it.

Google Street View. Google Maps. I was because there's a Krispy Kreme near here. Oh, so even outside the airport? Yeah, it's about probably a 10 kilometre radius around the airport. Oh God, this is going to be your next obsession. Like first you were obsessed with trolleys and everyone was sending us trolley pics. Now we're going to get streetlight pics flooded to our Facebook group. Oh, I love them! Send us a streetlight so Mitch gets a mad heart on for them. He loves a streetlight. Don't send me an ugly streetlight.

I only want... There they are. Oh, look at those. There they are. Look at those chode-looking things. Hold on. Look at them. They're tiny.

Oh, they're gorgeous. Look at that one. I mean, they just look like streetlights, and I wonder I've never noticed. I could reach up and touch it. Maybe that's why they don't do it, because hoodlums just would jump on them and swing on shit. Look, that's the side of me. Oh, it's gorgeous.

See what I mean? No, not really. Look how tiny they are, because a plane could hit them. A plane could hit them. Mitch, when I tell you I almost rear-ended an Uber the other day trying to get a look at these things. Why? Oh, God, you're weird. I had a Krispy Kreme so deep in my gullet that I almost choked crying over the streetlights.

Oh, my God. You are fucking so easily entertaining. I've got to commend Austral on the implementation of these gorgeous little streetlights. Next junk, please. Okay. Is it just me or do you not buy tissues? What a waste of money. I don't buy fucking tissues.

I don't think I... That's a good point. I can't remember the last time I bought tissues. Yeah, I just use toilet paper. Same. Yeah. Even if I'm sick, like when I had COVID and I was blowing my nose a lot, I just grabbed a roll of toilet paper and put it on the side table. Isn't that funny? Probably looks wrong if people come in my room. They think that I'm using it as a cum rag, but you don't need

tissues. I just use a shirt and t-shirt and put it in the dirty clothes basket. To blow your nose? As a cum rag. Oh, my mistake. Yuck, a t-shirt? Yeah. They're going to get washed anyway.

It's already covered in food. Yeah, but what if you want to wear it? Not again. It's dirty. I really soil my shirts. I'm a heavy wearer. Hayden, it's funny. When you live with someone that is a tissue user, you notice them more.

Because I have never been a tissue user. Because you leave them around the house. No, but he's got boxes everywhere. He's got a box next to his at-home station at work. I see why. I know. He's got one in the living room. He's got one in the bedroom.

And I don't use them. They're all him. Yeah, I don't even use paper towels. Oh, no. I remember one of my friend's mothers, I was staying in the US, and my friend had to work. She had a shift, so I spent all day with her mother. And she was just giving me motherly advice. I don't know why. She just had to had to work. She had a shift. So I spent all day with her mother and she was just giving me like motherly advice. I don't know why.

She just had to feel the silence. She's like you. And she was telling me, oh, don't buy paper towels. That's just a waste of money. You just buy a couple of cheap tea towels and you just kind of rotate them as you kind of have them as your general wiping shit up towel. You don't use them to wipe the dishes. So I've got two. There's the dish towel to dry the dishes and there's one for just

general wiping shit up. Chuck them in the washing machine after. And then you never have to buy paper towel again. You know my history with tea towels. I'm no good. Yeah, that's why you just go to Kmart or something and get really cheap ones and then when they die or they get too dirty, whatever, just get more ones. You know, in the same way that you'd

buy paper towels all the fucking time, you just buy tea towels all the time. You win with your gay shit. Maybe I'm not progressive. You know that TikTok? No. Oh, there's that TikTok when they're like – I was like, what are you talking about, my gay shit? Those who get it, get it.

It's the same people who are like, use reusable cotton pads for your serums and your toners. I can't do it, guys. I do that too, and I love it. I can't. I've tried. I can't do it. They're like a makeup remover, and if I take my face off, I just run it under cold water, and I love it. I can't. I've tried. I can't do it. They're like a makeup remover and if I take my face off,

I just run it under cold water and then when it gets dirty, chuck it in with a load of whites. All right. Yeah, but they work well. Okay. I don't do waste in my life nor on this podcast. I don't waste time. All right.

Unlike Jenna. Yeah. All right, next one. Is it just me or is selling quilt covers and pillowcases separately fucking criminal? Oh, that's another me one. What do you mean? Explain that. It's so self-explanatory.

Why the fuck do they sell quilt covers and the pillowcases separately? Just pop them in together as a set and you just buy the whole bastard. It's like those really expensive homeware shops you go to. You're like, oh, that's a beautiful quilt. And then it says in fine print, pillowcases sold separately. And I'm like, for fuck's sake. They're usually $30 each, the pillowcases. It's a cash grab. But I also think it's because we have contrasting pillowcases to

bed sheets because it's a nice little design thing. Why would you do that? Because it pops. It makes it pop. I just don't understand why you'd want to buy them separately, especially the ones that they sell with really obnoxious patterns. Like, why would I want just the quilt cover and then not have it match? Yeah. But also, you don't go buy a car

and they not include the tyres. They're kind of important. Or like doors sold separately. You have to buy the doors for the car. You just buy the frame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That bullshit. That's stupid. Alright, one last junk, I believe. Yep. Is it just me or a small town carnival shit?

Me. That's a me. How very dare you? No. How many small town carnivals have you been to? A handful. A handful. What small towns?

Kiama, Lawn, Wollongong. Are we talking like fates? No, I'm talking they all have the same rights. A shitty haunted house. A terrible Ferris wheel. Also, are you talking, like, the show? Like, you know, they've got the Royal Easter show, and then back at home they've got the Parks show and the Forbes show.

No, it's not shows. It's, you know, when you're in a beachside town, right, for God's sake, and you're at Bateman's Bay, and you go to get ice cream one night, and then all of a sudden there's a random fucking Ferris wheel and children's eating cotton candy, and you go, either ice cream one night and then all of a sudden there's a random fucking Ferris wheel and children's getting cotton candy and you go either brand it or fuck off. I'm serious. Because either make it a show and call it the Batemans Bay January Press Show.

Agricultural Society Show. Yeah, slap an acronym in it or something. But don't just put a stupid Ferris wheel in the middle of a beach showground and call it a carnival because it's not. It's a pop-up show. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, put some fucking effort in, clowns, literally. For the international listeners, a fair.

Yeah, fair, yeah. Yeah, sometimes I do appreciate a small fair, like a little fate. Yes. Like sometimes they take you by surprise. When I was in Wagga one weekend, they just had this fate there and I bought the show bag with all the squishies in it, like the stress ball character things. I love a market. I love a beachside market.

Yeah, it was a bit more of a market. Let me Google it. I'm going to Google small town carnival. I'm going to show you exactly what I'm picturing. So you think go big or go home? Too big. These are all too big. These are all too big.

Why don't you Google one of the ones that you've actually been to? Like, oh, Kiama Fair or something. Oh, yeah. That works. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do, um. Oh, Kiama Carnival is what, yeah. Let's do... Oh, I am a carnival is what you're going for. What's the point?

Look, that's got one lazy coaster in the middle of a park. Oh, my God. We are getting old, aren't we? Why? Because at the side of show rides, we go, nah, that's shocking. Oh, no. I used to think when my parents said, oh, no, I'm too old to go on rides. I used to think, what do you mean?

That's always going to be fun. I'll never be that adult. And now I look at that and I go, oh, no, I'm too old to go on rides. I used to think, what do you mean? That's always going to be fun. I'll never be that adult. And now I look at that and I go, fuck. Yeah, I feel you. I go, too much effort. I've got to pay money for that? I, at the last Easter show I was at, because in Sydney now the Easter show's on, which for the international listeners, is a big Easter show.

Famously, it's a show at Easter. Should I start doing for the internationalists, but actually not describing it? Anyway, we have Gatorade in Australia for the internationalists. Gatorade is Gatorade. Look, I like the Easter show, and I also forget my point. Oh, you're talking about how we're too old for rides now. My memory. We're too old for rides now.

Oh, we walked through last year, and there was a Kermit the Frog hung on like a hook, like a fish hook. And Hayden's like, oh, should we play to win? And my first thought was, we're not going to win. Yeah, no, there's no way. There's no way we're going to win that. I'm too practical now. That's a waste of money and time.

Not even fun. Oh, God. I never do those things because I was scarred once. I was traumatized by it. I was at the Parks show, which for the record, great time. Okay. No judgment. And yeah, they commit.

But I was at the Parks show and I was walking around with my mum at the show and I was at the Parks show, which for the record, great time. Okay. No judgment. And yeah, they commit. But I was at the Parks show and I was walking around with my mum at the show and I was kind of walking ahead of her and out of nowhere, this carny guy just hands me these darts and goes, come on, have a go, have a go. And because I was so young, it just didn't feel like I had an option. Yeah. And so I just started throwing these fucking darts, didn't win anything. And then mum had kind of turned her back on me and she turns around and goes, Mitchell, you didn't ask for my permission to play that.

Now I have to pay him. And I'm like, I didn't mean to. Like he just kind of cornered me and goes, here, have a go. And it just, yeah, it was very confronting and traumatic. And so now I'm just scared of Carney now. And I never fucking win. I'm real good at darts, but I wasn't that day. Your poor thing.

Yeah, they can stress you out. Yeah, I got into so much trouble. I was like, bitch, you didn't witness it. You took your eyes off your son. That's on you. That's on you, mum. And while we're at it, let's get a DNA test for your second son. All right.

Thanks, Jenna, for nothing. Yeah, thanks for that, Jenna. God love you. Jenna, while you're here, we actually have a rumor. Someone says if Jenna isn't a bitch, she'll just say so. So now's your chance to nip that one in the butt. All right. That's what I butt. All right, well. That's what I thought.

That's a shame. If Jenna wasn't a misogynist, she'd speak now. Yep. Well, you can't argue with that. Look, if you voted no in the same-sex marriage debate, say nothing right now. Wow. I'm shocked. If you're somehow connected to the whole Ukraine situation,

no, that's too much. Too much. I agree. Far out. Let's get out of here, Mitchell. Yeah, time to go, darling. Yes. Now, we are going to be away for a little bit.

It's our Easter break, ladies and gents. Busy boys. Busy boys. I'm going to be back home in Bogengate, making mum do everything for me, like I said. Nice. Acting like a child. I'm doing my bloody Easter breakfast show, so I'm getting up at 3 a.m.

The crack of dawn, everybody. Boo-hoo. Yeah, it's rough. I know the pain. I know the pain. Oh, it's rough. But I'll be seeing, yeah, the family. I'm going to see the family.

We've got Hayden's Filipino family who make amazing food, and then my family will just do classic Easter. I think we're doing a boat day. Are you doing that whole split thing where you do one side of the family for lunch and the other for dinner? Well, that's the good thing about Easter is that there's multiple days. Jesus was like, yeah, I'm going to milk this. So we get, I think, Friday with my family and Sunday with his.

Are you going to be ordering fillet of fishes on Good Friday? Oh, don't. Mum will. Yeah, Mum will guilt me. All right, guys. Thank you for listening. Give us a review. Five stars.

It keeps us going. We love you. Yep, five-star rating on Spotify, please. And we've finally got up to five stars overall. It was 4.9 for a bit because some people dogged it, but we're five overall. Woohoo! For now. We'll see you in a couple weeks, guys. Stay safe, look after yourself. Thanks for listening. Happy Easter, darling.

Yep, see you guys. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to ADD Brief. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend that we're gone and then we go, nah, kidding, and then we just fuck around a bit, this bit is not planned or structured or whatever. We're back! And now because I'm not an absolute idiot, I did buy myself an Easter present as part

of this gaslighting journey. Oh, smart move, because- I was like, I'm gonna want something. Can I have one of these? Yeah, what do you mean can you have one? I gave it to you with a gift. True, true, true, but you never know when the lines are blurred these days. Oh! Oh! Oh my god. What? What do you mean, can you have one? I gave it to you with a gift. True, true, true. But you never know when the lines are blurred these days. Oh.

Oh. Oh, my God. What? These are my favourite Easter chocolates. What is it? This is true. The chocolate with the marshmallow inside. I don't think I've ever had one.

You want to try some? Yeah. No, I don't want to share yours. Let's find another one in the box. They look like literal shits. Oh. They do. They do.

They look like actual turds. Oh, my God. But they're just Cadbury milk chocolate, but inside's a little white marshmallow. I did not know these existed. And they look like an egg. Oh, wow. They've committed. It's got a yolk and everything in the marshmallow.

Oh, that is heaven. That is my favourite chocolate. Fuck me. What does it taste like? What does it taste like? That is so distinct. I like those marshmallow things that you get with the coconut on the outside. Oh, snowballs.

Snowballs. Yeah, they do. Yeah, chocolate marshmallow, yeah. Wow. That's so good. Is that not really good? I don't think I could have more than two because it's very sweet. Yeah, and there were only two and I gave one to you and one to me.

That's fine. I would have eaten them on the car ride home, so I'm glad you had that. I've got a caramel bunny if you want some of that. No, that's yours. You take it. You keep it. No, it's fine. I'm not going to eat the whole thing. What are you doing? Here, I'll share that. No, that's yours. You take it. You keep it. It's fine. I'm not going to eat the whole thing.

What are you? I'll share it. Oh, oh, oh. Here you go. Massacred the caramel. You just bash this bunny's head in. Do you remember the good old days when Cadbury used to claim that caramel was a limited time thing and we got excited when it came back?

Yes. Now it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Everywhere. Do you think what's happened is they mass produced and they overproduced and now they've got to just use the leftover chocolate in Easter stuff? Oh, like last year when at Christmas time they made Christmas baubles, which were basically just leftover Easter eggs. And they're like, oh, fuck, we've got these tiny round chocolates.

What are we going to do with them? We've got all this leftover shit. We'll call them baubles that you hang off a tree. There you go. Christmas baubles. Oh, that's really good. You know what I want to do on the them? We've got all this leftover shit. We'll call them baubles that you hang off a tree. There you go. Christmas baubles. Oh, that's really good. You know what I want to do on the fly? We haven't planned this.

Kijam top five. Easter chocolates because I've got a very big opinion. Five of the best Australian Easter. Oh, you're doing your five. Okay. Go. So start number five, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I absolutely adore the Turkish Delight delight they're box sets they're called box sets as in like you get the egg and a couple of turkish delights yeah and also yeah but you also get like an egg cup like a plastic egg cup they're in the box at cole's and kmart even and they they have like a little set yeah right you can also get like you get twigs you get flake you get them all oh yeah i know what you mean now yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love any Oreo Easter egg. Is that number four? Number four.

Okay. Yeah, no, they do slap too. Do you like Oreos full stop? I like Oreos full stop. Of course I like Oreos. I'm not a fucking idiot. Just not, man. Number three is the Cherry Ripe box set.

Yum. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Really? The Cherry Ripe Easter egg is how I learnt the hard way that cherry ripe is dark chocolate. It's my favorite chocolate or it was as a kid. Cherry ripe was always my favorite. But because the cherry bit was so overpowering, I never noticed that it was dark chocolate. And I fucking hate dark chocolate.

So mum got me the cherry ripe Easter egg and I was like, what's this rubbish? It's dark chocolate. And she's like, yeah, it's cherry ripe. And it's because they barely put any cherry bits in the chocolate egg. It was just dark chocolate with a couple of bits of red crap. And I was like, how did I go this long not knowing that cherry ripe is dark chocolate? It's too dark chocolatey, the Easter egg version. Well, the walls of a chocolate egg are so thin, you can't get your cherry in it.

Speak for yourself. I can fit my cherry. Whoa. Number two is a cream egg. Now, I'm not including the marshmallow because I'm talking eggs, guys. The marshmallow bunny is my favorite thing, but a cream egg, we're talking purely eggs here. Okay.

We were talking about this on Trash Alley the other day. All right. Hayes' favorite is definitely cream eggs, too, and I'll say the same thing I said there. Nah. Why? They're good, but they're, again, too sweet. You can have one, and then you've got a fucking headache all day. Like I've said, I'll say it once, I'll there. Nah. Why? They're good, but they're, again, too sweet. You can have one and then you've got a fucking headache all day. Like I've said, I'll say it once, I'll say it again.

There's a common thread between me and all right, hey. I don't know what you mean. Both very rich. Number one for the win is the Kinder Surprise egg. Oh! That's not Easter chocolate. Yes, it is. The Kinder Surprise egg.

It's gigantic. All it is is a novelty-sized Big East Kinder Surprise. Oh, right. Okay. I get it. Because that makes sense. It's gigantic. All it is is a novelty-sized big Kinder Surprise. Oh, right. Okay. I get it because that makes sense. But people who get normal Kinder Surprises that are evergreen, you can get them all year round, they're not fucking Easter eggs. They're Kinder Surprises.

When people get them for Easter, I'm like, what are you doing? That's not Easter chocolate. Nah, it is. There's no point of difference. It's just an egg you can get all year round. No, it's mine. And it is so good. It's mine.

I designed it. It's mine. And the toy inside, it's like a dinosaur egg. It's mine. I designed it. It's mine. And the toy inside is, it's like a dinosaur egg. It's so much fun. It's a huge toy. That's so smart, because you know what Kinder could have done if they wanted to skimp out? Let's give them four little toys, you know? Yeah.

They made the big toy. That's fine. Or like some shitty bonbon things in there. Yeah, or an Easter bunny thing. I don't know. Anyway, they're my top five on the fly. I don't think I could possibly think of five. That's probably a good thing.

That's probably a sign of a fatty that knows five. The other day, the reason we were talking about this on Trash Alley is because we tried the Bubba Lo Bill Easter eggs and I bloody adored it. It tasted beautiful. However, nothing like a Bubba Lo Bill. Really? Yeah. It just tasted like strawberry Freddos.

Well, here you go. I've got the cold section up, the Easter eggs. Did you love strawberry Freddos, by the way? I feel like you can't get them normally. You can only get them in those fundraising box when people are raising money for the netball carnival. I don't know why I'm awing. My mum's alive and well.

But my mum's favourite chocolate ever is a strawberry Freddo. They're fucking amazing. Yeah, but you know where you can get them? Caltex petrol stations. Because my dad, when he used to get petrol, I would always come home with a chocolate Freddo for my mum. Oh, that's beautiful. I know, I know. Shell bell, and he'd throw it home with a chocolate photo for my mum. Oh, that's beautiful. I know, I know.

Shell Bell, and he'd throw it to her when he walked in the door. Okay, that's less cute. No, but like it's an affectionate girl. Yeah, Shell. Well, she was on the couch, you know, dressing out on the iPad, you know, it was romantic. Yeah, right. I'm going to get the coal section up because I want to see what fucked chocolates they've designed this year. Stop eating while talking.

I mean, I know I said I wasn't going to do a top five, but I'll just say what I said last year. Red tulip will always be the best. It's the superior Easter chocolate. Yeah, you can't go back. Remember I tricked you last year? I blindfolded you and said, can you tell the difference? And you said, oh, that one tastes better.

And I said, that was red tulip, bitch. Yeah, I'm an idiot. Oh, here, here. Like, fuck this shit. Milk chocolate Easter coins? No. What the hell is that? I hate coins when they put them in that little basket.

The foil paper. And the Easter Bunny doesn't need cash, guys, because he doesn't need money. Now, see, what the fuck are Lint doing? They've got their Lint Bunnies. They're nailing that. But up the top right here, a Lint koala bear. What have koalas got to do with Easter? Oh, what the fuck is this?

Hold on. This is a Del Dino and it's a chocolate dinosaur in a dinosaur egg. You can't just make shit chocolate and call it Easter. Like, you've got to have the bunny theme in there. And look at that brand. Or Jesus. Libert. Jesus would be nice. A chocolate Jesus. Look at that, Mitchell. Look what Ferrero Shavedown

down here. It's a chocolate squirrel holding a nut. Oh, for fuck's sake. Oh, there's your red. Now I'm mad. Look at the price of red tulip, Mitch. $4.25. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I can't wait to devour a red fucking tulip.

Look at him. Oh, sorry. It's not just a red tulip rabbit. It's a red tulip elegant rabbit. That's what they've called it on the Coles website. That rabbit has seen some shit. Look at it. It looks like Jenna.

The red tulip rabbits look like Jenna. The internationalist has Googled red tul shit. Look at it. It looks like Jenna. The red tulip rabbits look like Jenna. The internationalist has Googled red tulip. Look at this. Lynn Easter in a carrot. No, no. Carrots are for reindeers, idiot. Bluey chocolate. What?

Wait, hang on. How much is the bluey chocolate? My nephew Noah would love that. Your pibbling Mitchell got you this? No, it wants me. Say thank you to your pibbling. Oh, no, it's a sticker book. My error.

If any of my nieces or nephews declare that Mark is the favourite uncle, that's when I'll just rebrand as pibbling. Well, I'm your favourite pibbling, so I'm winning. Yeah, anyway, that's my thoughts on the chocolates, everyone. They're fucked. Go back to the base. Go back to the good old days. God, we've really shown our age.

Yelling at kids that are enjoying carnivals, streetlights, and now chocolate boxes. Yeah, you've gone from appreciating show rides to appreciating architecture. Oh, look at those streetlights. Aren't they adorable? They are adorable. Google them, guys. Sydney Kingsford Smith. You have to go on Google Maps, though.

You have to go on what was General Holmes Drive. Drop a pin. You'll Smith. You have to go on Google Maps, though. You have to go back to what was General Holmes Drive. Drop a pin. You'll see. For the internationalists, Google Maps is Google Maps. Do you like my new bottle? I'm a Yeti boy now. For those listening, I love my Yeti. You drink out of a cold bottle, too, don't you?

What's a Yeti? Yeti's one of those bottles that claim they keep ice cubes icy for 48 hours. Never heard of it. I saw it on TikTok, so I bought it. It was $110. $110? A lot of money for a water bottle. That's ridiculous. I saw it on TikTok, so I bought it. It was $110. $110? A lot of money for a water bottle. That's ridiculous.

Someone will vlog that around here. You reckon? Yeah. Knowing the track record. The vulture culture. They're like, oh, that looks freaky because it's unattended. Listen to how insulated it is. See, I don't need a Yeti drink bottle.

I've got the Frank Green, so I'm all sorted. Oh, you're a Frank Green boy. Yeah. Now, can I play you some sound effects that I got, that I put on here in the height of our ad game that were non-violent? Like, I thought, how funny would it be if there was an ad? Like, really innocent ads. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, let me get an ad from Kiss, right? Really innocent. This is the Department of Health. Authorised by the Australian Government, Canberra. Hi, Australia. There's never been a better time to check up on your health. Just can't laugh

during the middle of a... Help that. What about when we get cold out? The Shell Calls Express Great Aussie Road Trip booklet is free with page after page of ideas to keep the kids happy. That's just a magpie. Imagine getting swooped by a magpie in the middle of an ad. Ow!

Ow! You'd be swooped by a magpie. It is degrading. Yeah, mate. I grew up on a farm. Of course I did. True. You have to show them who's boss, those magpies.

True, true, true. What about these three? Here's New South Wales Rail Museum ad. Step back in time and experience a steam train ride every day these school holidays. Oh, no, there's a goat on the tracks. Oh, no. Oh, get it off. Get it off.

Guys, get it off. Oh, no. It's still alive. That's good. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh. That was worth it in the end, wasn't it?

That's awful. Yeah. That sounded... I didn't even plan that. That sounded like organs were being squashed out. God. Any other... What other sound effects have you got?

The innocent ones. Why did we use the fucked up ones before? We could have done some innocent ones. What are these? At IGA, you'll find all your Easter goodies, like red tulip, hunting eggs, great, 170 gram, only $4.58. They're mowing the lawns. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. Anything else? Oh, yeah. I've got plenty. Save on baby essentials in Baby Bunting's huge catalog sale. I couldn't hurt a baby. Not me. Imagine if in the middle of an ad, the voiceover chick just vomits.

What about this? Middle of the night. Kiss News. Right now. It's a cruise ship fog on from a carnival cruise ship. It was so loud. Imagine being in the car going, yeah, I wonder what is happening in Ukraine. No!

Do you remember the fuckdads? This is the second time I've mentioned it today. In Australia, we had a same-sex marriage plebiscite, which is disgusting and degrading, which is when the public, the Liberal government, were too fucking spineless to just put same-sex marriage into law. Yeah, the government were like, oh, should we allow gay couples to marry in the same way that straight couples can? Oh, we don't want to make that decision. We'll let the public debate it for weeks upon weeks.

Yeah, it was months. And it was headline news all over the TV and papers and stuff. And I was like, I really don't like my livelihood being discussed like this. It was so bad. And the ads were awful. Remember, the No campaign had just as much legal right to campaign against it than the Yes campaign. So the Yes campaigns were people and queer people and non-binary people

and artists and public figures going, I want to marry. Piplings. Going, I want to marry. We love each other. Love is love. Oh, my God. What was that? Did you drop your guts?

No. You let Fluffy off the chain, didn't you? Big cat just got to go at a small bird. What is that? It's the chair in the studio. It hasn't been oiled. I actually made a mental note to bring some WD-40 in here the other day because our mic handles kept squeaking. Really?

Did it work? But I didn't bring it. But also, I shouldn't have to. Surely this place has it. Gay marriage ad campaign. Is there no WD-40 here? No, there's not. No.

This is the best. This is Bob Catter. Want to see Bob Catter? Oh, yeah. I think we played it. This is an Australian MP, local member of parliament, talking about, he was asked about the same-sex marriage website, and this was his response on National Live Television. Final observation on the same-sex marriage debate from Bob Catter.

Far North Queensland. I mean, you know, people are entitled to their sexual proclivities. You know, I mean, let there be a thousand blossoms bloom, as far as I'm concerned. But I ain't spending any time on it, because in the meantime, every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North America.

Okay. Even the ABC who are meant to be really credible, they're laughing at him going, what the fuck? You are so corked. It's just the switch. Like, oh, no, I can't deal with 10% of the population's legal rights. I've got every three months someone being mauled by a crocodile to deal with. Fucking hell.

I sat next to him on a plane once. What? Yeah, when I was in Mount Isa to film for Survivor, they put me next to him. I think, I don't know why. Bob Catter? Bob Catter. Are we thinking of the right person? That man, yeah.

Oh my God. Because he's the member of Mount Isa. He was going home. And Mount Isa is a mining suburb. They are not voting yes. I mean, sorry. I don't want to put words in Mount Isa's. Yeah, you're homophobes, Mount Isa.

I don't want to speak ill of Isa. She's lovely. Her mount has got a beautiful view. Oh, it's gorgeous. And you know what? That mount's probably been sucked by a woman. I reckon Mount Isa. If anyone's a lesbian, it's Mount Isa.

I mean, I'd Mount Isa. Good one. I'd mine Mount Isa. I'd mine her. Anyway, Bob Cato's next to me, and he's famous for, it's Mount Isa. I mean, I'd Mount Isa. Good one. I'd mine Mount Isa. I'd mine her. Anyway, Bob Cato was next to me, and he's famous for wearing an Akubra, big Aussie wide-brimmed hat, and he checked it. He put it in the checking above the – Why?

Because I guess it's his brand. I suppose you can't just wear it on the plane, can you? That'd be annoying. No. He fell asleep too when he wrote handwritten notes. Dinosaur. To who? Parliament. It was just. To who? Parliament.

It was just... Dear Parliament. Oh my God, you should have drawn a cock and balls on his face when he was asleep. I recorded it. I have photos. I swear I haven't heard this story. That's ridiculous. Have you seen Pauline Hanson forgetting her birthday?

No. What do you mean? Please look that up. Explain who Pauline Hanson forgetting her birthday? No. What do you mean? Please look that up. Explain who Pauline Hanson is for the internationals. For the internationals, Pauline Hanson is a dreadful, dreadful woman. She's got red hair. She's like putting lipstick on a pig, really. That's what she looks like.

Yeah, she is very famously right wing. And she's just always, always. Yeah, she's so problematic, so racist, so fucked. She's an idiot. Anyway, this is her apparently forgetting her own birthday. Yes, it's so good. Just because you're 67 and you're of retirement age, which I'm proud to say, I am 67 years of age and I turned 67 yesterday.

20 minutes later. On a point of order. Misrepresentation. Senator Watts said I've circulated this on my birthday. My birthday was last month. This was not circulated on my birthday. So it's basically misrepresentation, telling a lie. Can I help?

Sorry, Senator Hanson, but the Senate did hear you say yesterday was your birthday. So if there's some confusion, I think we... Sorry, I'll give you the call, Senator Hanson. Yesterday. Sorry, Senators. Senator Hanson, I'll give you the call, Senator Hanson. Sorry, Senators. Senator Hanson, I'll give you the call. Yesterday was not my birthday, so you're wrong. I'm sure you've realised that.

My birthday, and I said in it, my birthday was last month. Senator Hanson, thank you for clarifying that. You were wrong. We can now correct the record, and I would urge your office to pull up the record. There is no points of order. Let's get back on track. Gold.

She forgot her own birthday, the dumb wrangler bitch. No, I've actually still gaslit them into thinking they were wrong. She goes, so you're wrong. I'm sure you've realised that. She's disgusting. Anyway, yeah, we're not a political podcast. Although we, this has been a weird episode. At the start of the show, we said to Jenna, we're going to gaslight her into thinking

we're a political podcast. And at the very end, we become one. Yeah, wow. We should gaslight Jenna. The next time we do it, we can to Jenna, we're going to gaslight her into thinking we're a political podcast. And at the very end, we become one. Yeah, wow. We should gaslight Jenna. The next time we do it, we can brainstorm now because she's not here. Just so everyone knows, Jenna has consented to being gaslit. Just so everyone knows, that's not true. She hasn't.

No, no, no. Not on the day. Fucking Jenna. Is she still here? I don't know. Should I message her? Should we? Should we bring her back in here?

And then as soon as she sits down and says one word, we just wrap the show up and go, all right, bye. Thanks for listening. Yeah, let's do it. Well, on that note, we hope this podcast made you feel at least 2% better today. That's all. Yeah. Just 2%. So we do. So we do. Yeah. Thank you for listening, everyone. Have a beautiful Easter. Have a great Easter. Hope you have a nice break. I'm calling Jen on 0467 994. So do you want to come back for the rest? Hello. Do you want to come back for the rest?

We've got 10.15 left. Okay. All right. See you. See you. What's going on in the background there? I don't know. Sounds like she's at a shitty carnival.

What are we going to say? We'll literally just say bye as soon as she gets here. God, no time like the present, Jenna. Have a great break. Yeah, I will. You too. We can still talk in the break, right? No.

Is it a break from each other as well? Yeah. That's the reason we're taking a break. Can't stand the sight of you anymore. Oh, Jenna. Jenna is back. Come on. You've arrived just in time for ADD break.

Oh, she's got a coffee and a slice of banana bread. You are not busy at all. You're just wagging the podcast. You fucking lied to us. What? What have you got to say for yourself? Take a seat. Yeah, because I was waiting for the time. Thanks for listening, everyone.

Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you hit follow on your podcast app.