Is It Just Me? - #113: The Forgotten Birthday

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

In this episode:Is Click & Collect shit? (08:56)Churi’s horrendous Bali trip (13:58)Bert Newton’s lookalike (23:46)TikTok School - Random acts of kindness (29:37)Mitchell’s shithouse birthday surprises (44:48)Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (57:33)Get in touch @coupleofmitchesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

People do some weird shit. Would you like to try a vape? Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think for people. I'll tell you why. Yeah. Because you're young and stupid. Some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know how you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate mousse. No. You know, I had it in the car on the way home, and I didn't have a spoon, so I was like an armadillo trying to get ants out of a hole. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Being fingered is an awful sensation. You haven't been fingered by the right person. Goodness me. This is Is It Just Me? Hosted by a couple of bitches. Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. I'm sorry.

Ta-da! Now, here's Mitch Chooley and Mitchell Coombs. Now we're back. Hello, Mitchell Coombs. We're back, bitches. Here we are. Have we missed much? Yeah, tell us.

Fill us in, guys. Ah, good. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. This is like Dora the Explorer now, where we leave a blank space for them to answer the question. How much sex did Jenna have in the break? Oh, wow. New record.

Wow. Hi, Jenna. Hi. Hi, Jenna. How'd your boob job go? Oh, it was painful. Oh, I can only imagine. Yeah.

Still a bit swollen. Yeah, I could tell. Yeah, we can tell. We can tell, definitely. Still a bit swollen. Yeah, I could tell. Yeah, we can tell. We can tell, definitely. Still a bit swollen, isn't that the point? I had a bit of a botched procedure during our little mid-year break, can I

just say? Well, for the first time ever, I decided, yeah, I'll get Botox in my forehead. And, you know, this is not me telling everyone else that they should rush off and get Botox but encouraging it, if you're happy with the face the way it is, then just leave it. You have had it?

Yes, I have. And it's meant to just make you not have the forehead wrinkles when you raise your eyebrows. But I think they missed a spot. What do you mean? When I raise my eyebrows, there's just one remaining wrinkle above my left eyebrow. Show us, show us.

Oh, all the wrinkles. And I called the place and I was like, what's happened? There's one wrinkle left that's still there and hasn't moved. And they were like, oh, give it two weeks. Two weeks is up as of today, so I'm going to write a letter. Oh, shit. And it's just one line above one eyebrow. Yes, look, it's this one thing.

I'm like, do I give it a name? What do I do? Name it Joel Creasy. Because it's a crease. Creasy. Oh, I get it. Yeah, right. Okay.

Well, you look good. You look snatched otherwise. Thank you. Thank you. I like to think I looked good before. No, but you don't need it. I was just getting my crow's feet done, which I've done a few times before. And the guy was like, oh, extra 50 bucks.

I'll do the forehead too. And you just chucked it in. Yeah. I was like, I feel like the forehead is a lot more. It's on show. It's a lot more face real estate. And is it going to throw it in for 50 bucks? I was like, go on.

It's a bit weird. I'm not sure if I like it. Does it hurt? I don't know if it's placebo, if I'm imagining it. But it does feel like tighter there. And I've got a tiny headache. Or maybe that's because I'm just always hung over. I don't know.

Yeah, that could also be that. Do you think, is it numb? Is that how it works? No, not numb. It just feels different. I don't think I'm going to get the furrow done again. I miss it. How do I make people know that I'm furious or judging them? Yeah, how will we know

if you're shocked at our behaviour, Jenna? We just won't. Yeah, I just feel like I'm limited. Was the break good otherwise other than the botched Botox? Yes, it's been good. I'm seeing someone. A new therapist. His name's Patrick. I don't know if I told you guys about this.

I feel like we've been off for longer than two weeks. But I was doing my own little version of The Bachelor. Where I was auditioning therapists. Oh, I think I knew that, yeah. Okay, I told you. Because they do the free 15-minute consults to make sure that you're vibing each other. Not much trauma can be relayed in 15 minutes. No, there isn't a lot you can do in that 15 minutes.

I spent seven minutes on Jenna. What did I get? Six. Oh, okay. Is that the right math? I just had to think about that. No. Well, that leaves three more minutes.

Oh, I just asked him how he started. I don't know. That was flirting. But yes, I had a bunch of duds. Well, not duds, but yeah, Patrick was my favourite. Okay, and tell us why Patrick works. Is he a good listener? I'm his paid to fucking listen.

Yeah. Although I just don't know how I'm supposed to trust him to make me get my shit together when every time he's doing a fucking mind map on his whiteboard, he's using a dud texter. I just wanted to buy him a new packet of whiteboard markers. I'm like, Patrick, get your shit together. Oh, that's actually a sweet gesture for you. Should I do that? Yeah, do it. Put on the kitty-o. Shall I get a new packet of whiteboard markers. I'm like, Patrick, get your shit together. Oh, that's actually a sweet gesture for your therapist.

Should I do that? Yeah, do it. Put on the kitty-o. Put on the fresh packet of whiteboard markers. Yeah, fuck it. Say it's a gift from us. Great. Tax write-off because I spoke about it.

Do it. Do it. Welcome, Patrick. Give it to him. Oh, shit. I was actually wondering because he had to ask me, obviously, what's your line of work? And I told him, oh, I post TikToks. I host a podcast.

As a therapist, would you then go and stalk them afterwards? Like I would if I was Yes, 100% So I'm just constantly mindful that Patrick could be listening right now Love you babe He also could know who you are but I guess he wouldn't have said it Nah, he didn't know Really?

Yeah, he'd never seen me in my life Is Patrick one of us? I think he could be With a name like Patrick and in a line of work where you listen I mean, it'd shock me if he was straight. That was actually what I was drawn to. Because I initially Googled, like, LGBT-friendly therapists in Sydney and a lot of them were like, yeah, I'm an ally.

And I'm like, not good enough for me, babes. No, no, no, no, no. I want you to go through what we've gone through. Yes, I've got a fantasy to fulfil about fucking my therapist. Yeah, yeah. Of course. Yeah. Although it's kind of hot to think about converting fucking my therapist. Yeah, of course. Although it's kind of hot to think about converting a straight one.

Sorry, I'm thinking out loud. You need to talk to your therapist about that. Patrick, why do I want to fuck you? Is that weird? Imagine if he was like, well, then do it and we'll see how you feel after. That's hot. That is hot. Oh, God. Maybe I need a therapist to fuck.

Knowing my luck, I'll get a 49-year-old woman named Beth. I'll get like a potluck. No, I went out to dinner with some of our other gay friends, Hayden's work friends, and we're like, do you guys have a gay doctor, like a queer-friendly doctor? Because we have our GPs that are both in our suburbs we grew up in. So now that we live together, we want to find a doctor in the area that is queer-friendly. And they're like, oh, we have this great 30-year-old doctor. He's so hot. We all want to fuck him. And I'm like, oh, we have this great 30-year-old doctor. He's so hot.

We all want to fuck him. And I'm like, I don't think I want to fuck my GP. No. Maybe my dentist would be cute. I'd like to have a cute dentist, you know, or a cute flight attendant. You love a good drilling? Yeah, I do. I just don't think I want a hot doctor, you know.

I want my doctor to be old and weathered and fully across every condition possible. Yeah, I've got a woman doctor. Yeah. Yeah, I would trust her. I don't want to fuck my GP. Thank you. But what would you fuck? I'd fuck dentist, flight attendant.

Chiropractor. Oh, crack me in half. Oh, my God. I've had many. You know when you look at someone and you completely plan your life together? I've done that with a barista, multiple baristas. I've had oatmeal latte. It's like a two-second coffee.

I need to start going to a really extreme coffee so I have more time with him. I have 17 ice mochas. You just keep giving him like different complaints every time. I'll pop that in the microwave for me. Yeah. It's not hot enough. It's not cold enough. Unlike you.

You're hot enough. Jenna, what person that's offering a service in your life would you sleep with? My bus driver. The way that they touch my opal card. His head shivers down my spine. I want him to tap me off. I want him to fill me up. I really liked my foot doctor.

What are they called? Podiatrist. Yeah, that. Yeah. Anything with ped in it is a bit off to me. Yeah. Are you still going to this foot doctor? No. No, that's finished. I had to go monthly to a foot doctor once because I had constant ingrown toenails. Mine were awful. I couldn't walk.

Yeah, I remember those days. Mine were really bad. God, we sound old. We do. We need to do a chemist run. Well, my holiday was great. I mean, I went over to Indonesia. Salamat pagi.

Salamat pagi. By Tara McCarthy. What's that? I don't know, but I kept saying it. Anyway, my e-gym is about my trip, so I won't go into that now. Oh, okay. Well, you can kick things off if you like. Do I have a lovely tan?

No, nice and tan. I hadn't noticed anything. Oh, look at these breakouts. My skin is breaking out because I had too many facial treatments. Oh. My skin was like too much hydration. No, what you did is you made your skin addicted, and now that it doesn't have the constant facials,

it's like, what do I do? Got withdrawals. Yeah, it does. Anyway, so my Ijum is barley related, so we'll get there in a second. What a pussy addiction to have. I'm facial dependent. I'm addicted to retinoids.

Go to your therapist with that. I don't want to fuck. It'll be a mess. Give me a facial, please. Different kind. All right, if it's your first time listening, we start the show the same every week. And now we're back, baby. Two idjams.

Two is it just me? Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's. Jenna's along for the ride. Do you want to go first, Mitch? Yeah. We've also got a TikTok school coming up a little bit later.

Yay. Okay. Because there's a TikTok drama that I am obsessed with. It is such a saga. And I've been following it step by step. Can't wait. Okay, let's start. You go first, Mitch. You go first.

Oh, you want me to go first? Yeah, you go first. All right, sure. I wanted to hear about Barley, but sure, I'll go first. I'm a giver. All right, look out for it. Is it just me or? Is click and collect actually shit?

Yes. I've never done it. Really? Never clicked or collected in my life. Don't. It's not actually any more convenient at all. How does it work? Explain it.

Well, you know how you just shop online and then you buy what you want and then you go to the counter and then it's just there in the bag ready for you. Right. Yeah. It's okay in some instances, like Officeworks or Bunnings or something. For little things. But often what is available on the website isn't actually in store. They haven't updated it or whatever.

Oh, yeah. And so you'll buy this thing online. I got some WD-40 and then Bunnings were like, sorry, mate, we've refunded. We've got no WD-40. I'm like, you're Bunnings. Where else am I going to get it? And often they substitute things if they don't have it.

Yes. Did I tell you when we were sponsored by Daryl Lee for Pigwick a few weeks ago, I ordered 30 blocks of Daryl Lee white chocolate cookies and cream, went and clicked and collected them and I'm like, sorry, we don't have that one. So we've substituted it with another Daryl Lee. It was like this dark chocolate Daryl Lee and I had 30 of them. I was like, no, no, no, this is the one we're promoting. I need that particular one. And it's just always wrong. And I don't mind going into the shop and perusing. Yeah, same. That's half the fun.

If it's not being delivered to my house, I'd rather just go and look for it myself. I don't want some other dog getting my order wrong. Yeah, and giving you an alternative. I have done that. I've done click and collect. I've done home order. Oh, so you lied when you said you've never clicked and collected in your life. No, I clicked and then they drove to me. So I clicked and sat. That's what I did.

Well, see, that's fine. I did no fucking collecting. Although they text you and they go, hi, Mitch, I'm your driver, Bill. I'm going to drop off your groceries at what time? I just leave them at the door. But also, have you ever been like kept waiting? Because some of my friends will do that. They'll order groceries online and they'll give you a two-hour window.

Yes. And it's like, sorry, I can't come to dinner tonight. Willys might or might not show up. Like, it's not any more convenient than just popping into the supermarket. Yeah, I agree. I love a good old classic supermarket shop too. Yeah, find something special. Yeah, you see the new products.

I just go into my own little world when I'm in the supermarket. Oh, Sam, I love it. I used to work at Coles, so it's a good soft spot in my heart. And I can go back to my Coles that I worked at. Oh, and I know where everything is. It's heaven. Oh, one thing I do hate about actually going shopping is that things are never where I think they should be.

Yeah. What section, what aisle would you go to to buy Metamucil? The vitamin? Oh, good point. No, I think I'd go vitamin aisle. Yeah, no, it wasn't there. Oh, okay. Really?

Then with the Panadol and the Nurofen in that area. You would think. You would think. It was near the Milo. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Very different services. I know. Just like jars of powder.

Put them all together. Yeah. That is wrong. Things you add to liquid. The dilutants. Is that how you say it? Yeah, the big three. Milo, Metamucil and Chlorine.

That's so stupid. Does anyone else get, is it just me, or do you always get shocked at the result of the price? Every shop I'm shocked. When it's really cheap, I go, oh, that's great. Yeah, you just keep adding them, adding them, and then you're like, fuck me, $300. Yes, always expensive.

Eat them on the fly. Have you noticed that at some Coles, the fancy ones that have just been renovated, they make you pack your own bags. What? Like it's Aldi. No, fuck that. Yeah.

Like, do you want me to pack the bags for you? Fuck that for a joke. It's the Pope Catholic. Well, do you know what else? Speaking of click and collect in Coles, people have been calling Coles out because if they click and collect stuff, you know how you have to pay 15 cents for the reusable bag thing at Coles? Yes, yes.

They will just put like one item in a bag, like a bottle of two litre milk in a bag, 15 cents. The tea bags in the 15 cent bag. So they overcharge you for all these reusable bags that are meant to be environmentally conscious, but they're just using fuck loads of them and charging you for them. Oh, true. I never picked up on that. Yeah.

No, I thought, I don't know how I've ended up on this corner of TikTok, but click and collect fail talk. I found my people. This one chick ordered a kilo of apples and they gave her an apple. They just saw the number one and were like, yeah, that'll do. Or this one chick, they were like, sorry, we don't have your particular laundry detergent, but instead we're going to give you granola.

What? I don't know how they made that mistake, but I'd just rather go to the shops than do it myself. I agree. Sorry, we were out of purer skim milk, so here's a Jersey cow. So ridiculous. A newborn calf. We're all out of my dog, so here's a dashing.

Always so extreme. Anyway, yeah, click and collect doesn't hit the clip for me. Anyway, are you ready to talk about barley? Click and collect. Click and collect. That sounds like Janice Brake. I'm ready for barley. That's her old Tumblr account.

How did you know? No, she'd put it in the adult section of the paper. That was her corner of the ad. Click and collect. Call this number for a good time. Click and collect. But what are you collecting after you touch the clit? Juices.

I don't really know what goes on down there. It's none of my business, quite frankly. I'm assuming it's juices. But what are you collecting after you touch the clit? Juices. I don't really know what goes on down there. It's none of my business, quite frankly. I'm assuming it's juices. Yeah. Anyway. Your new tits, Jenny, you need to start calling the paper. You can put that ad back in.

All right, I'm ready for mine. You guys ready for mine? Yep. Here we go. Is it just me or... Did you just come back from Bali? Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I got Bali music.

Is this Bali music? Well, I don't know. It's massage music. Okay. Pop quiz. How many massages did I have on day four of my trip? Seven. In one day.

In one day. In one day. Realistic? Three. Five. Wow. It was heaven, guys. I had a really In one day. Realistic? Three. Five. Wow. Oh, it was heaven, guys. I had a really good trip.

I really did enjoy Bali. Do you find with massages, though, that sometimes your expectations are too high? Yes. You think, I'm going to be so relaxed after this, and you're like, nah, still too tense. Oh, my God, all the time. And when you get a dud massage, and you just have to commit. Like, you can't tell them to stop. Are they cheaper over there?

Oh, man, they're so cheap. Really? And I felt so bad, guys. The problem with barley, I love it. It was gorgeous. I'm not good at bartering. Since when? Haggling.

No, no. I thought that's what you do for a living on Facebook Marketplace. Oh, I love it when they're my equal. But when these poor people need to put dinner on a table and a very, you know, very thin, old wooden table. You're such a people pleaser. You'd be like, no, I'll double it. Honest to God, Hayden wanted a linen set, right?

Like a linen top and linen pants. We go to markets on day one and I see it on day one and I'm like, beeline straight to the linen market. And they go, hello, sir. Hello, sir. Hello, sir. And they go, hello, sir. Hello, sir.

And then they realise that we're gay and they sort of have a little vomit and then they carry on. They carry through. Because homosexuality frowned upon in Indonesia. Oh, good. I was just thinking I should book my trip, but forget it. they carry on. They carry through. Because homosexuality frowned upon in Indonesia. Oh, good. I was just thinking I should book my trip, but forget it. No, no. They wouldn't let you.

We barely skated through. I think because they thought I was a woman at some point with the breasts. Oh, well, then I'd be fine. Yeah, actually, yeah. You'd be praised. Anyway, so I go there and I go, oh, linen, linen. And if you show like a smidgen of interest in anything, then they go, here's a sale. Yeah, I'll do you a deal.

It was the same when I went to Fiji. Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. Problem is the exchange rate's really confusing. So $50,000 Indonesian dollars is five Australian dollars. Which is so confusing. Oh, my gosh. It's like, oh, how much is this chocolate milk? Oh, that'll be 70 grand.

What? Oh, my gosh. We had one dinner. It was 18 million. I'm like, fucking hell, that's a home deposit. Hang on. What does that equate to in Australia? $180.

Oh, that's fine. Dollars. $180. I know, but day one, I wasn't across it. So I go, this linen set, gorgeous. Do you have it in medium? She goes, no, not your size. I'm like, no, not for me.

I understand. I work in duvet sizes. I'm a king. So then I said, okay, how much? And she goes, a million, which is $100, which no way. It wouldn't have cost a million dollars. And Hayden's kind of like. Oh, it's handmade.

Well, Hayden's going, let me do it. And then Hayden goes, what about $100,000? Cuts them down by 90% straight away. Which is $10. $10 Australian dollars. Oh, okay. It went straight down. She went, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And I go, hold on. What about $500,000? Right to the middle, which is terrible, which is really bad because that is now- Are you sure it's not $5,000? $500,000 is a lot. No, that's $50. $500,000? Yeah. Jesus.

Yeah. So I got $500,000 and then Hayden is furious at me because that is now the price that I said we will pay. So she won't go lower than that. So we end up having to pay $50 for the- Which is fine. Which is $50. Yeah, exactly. I'd be lower than that. So we end up having to pay $50. Which is fine. Which is $50. Yeah, exactly. I'd be happy with that. Then we go to the next store and they're paying $3.

For the same exact. Oh, my God. $3. $3 Australian dollars. You pay for what you get. You know, it'll be better quality, I'm sure. It was the service. It was the service of the smile.

I'm trying to justify it the way I would to myself. Nah, it's better if it's more expensive somehow. I'm bad at haggling. I'm also really bad at scooter riding. I didn't tell anyone this on social media, but I had a scooter accident. Oh, you had a fall. Oh no. I had an accident. I fell off the bike in the middle of Changu. I did reply to your Instagram story and I was like, do your helmet up? And you were like, okay, mum, do not tell me that you've had a fall when your helmet was not strapped up.

I had a fall that day. Yeah, I'm going to get a photo of my ailment. Wear your helmets, kids. Guys, I was riding around Canggu and I was calling it Canju for ages. That's why no one could give me directions. I'm like, where's Canggu? No, that's not a place. That's a Pokemon.

That's an illness. I was on a scooter and you should have seen me. Hayden can't drive, right? Because he's gay. As we know. And he goes, oh, I'm going to get a scooter. And I go, no, no, you'll crash. You can't drive.

You don't know road rules. How do you give way? Like I was being a pop quiz. I'm like, what does this sign mean? Like being an idiot. And then he goes, no, I want to ride. And I go, sure, fine. Well, it's your funeral.

And then who stacks it in the main street of Bali? Me. You got smug, didn't you? I was riding. I was, guess stacks it in the main street of Bali? Me. You got smug, didn't you? I was riding. Guess where it was after three hours of driving. It was turning back into the hotel. Oh. Oh, God.

You were on the home stretch. You were like, oh, yeah, I'm here now. You'd just already switched off. Yep. It's like when people accidentally piss themselves when they get to their front door. Yes. Mentally, they're like, I'm here. I've been there too many times.

I can start letting the poo out. Nope. Anyway, anyway. So, you know, with a throttle on a scooter, I was turning and there was traffic building behind me and these people were honking. There were monkeys and stray dogs on the street. I'm like, too much stimulation. So I revved to go and I revved too quickly and then I tried to stop but I revved harder

and my bike did a wheelie like I'm in Tokyo Drift and I'm wheeling through the main street dodging chickens and then I try to stop and it goes faster so I let go and then the bike falls back on me and drags me down the street. Oh, that is so dramatic. And you know me, I don't like to, you know, I was embarrassed, right? My pride was knocked. So a local boy ran up.

Sir, sir, sir. And I went, fuck off. Did you actually say that? I snapped at the local boy. Oh, Mitchell. It was awful. But you know, I was embarrassed. My pride was knocked.

Then Hayden went, come on, let's get you up. And I said, go to the villa. Like, I was mad. You were mad at yourself. Mad at myself, yes. I lashed out at those I love the most. I've never seen that side of you. And after so many massages, holy shit.

I know. You should have seen what I said to the stray dog. Jesus Christ. Let me get a photo of my illness. Your illness? Yeah. Or injuries. Injury.

Yeah. Not plural. Thank you very much. Illness. Here we go. So this is me after I fell off the bike, fully bruised and scared. Like a big, like if you'd just been dragged across tar, like a big scrape. Yeah, and then I had to fully slather in embedidine and it was a whole thing.

So I couldn't swim for the first three days because the waterborne bacteria would kill me. I couldn't shower because of the bug in the water, like the bacteria in the water. You're not meant to drink the water. Why not? Because you'll get barley belly if you drink the water. Oh, is that what barley belly is? The water is so unhygienic. Surely there's something they can do about that.

For those who aren't used to it, because we'd have bacteria in our water, but our bodies are so used to it. Oh, we're bitches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we go over there and I caught it because I brushed my teeth with the tap water. I was so good. I wasn't drinking it. I was great.

And then I brushed my teeth with the tap water, projectile vomiting for days. Wow, your belly is weak. My belly is weak and it was full of barley. When you shower, you have to close your mouth. You're not allowed to have the water in your body at all. Oh my God. How do I douche? Yeah, you know, you'd have to use bottled water.

Shit. Hayden and I have both. You're really not selling this place to me, to be honest. No, sorry. Why is it that in the last month, everyone I know has either gone to Bali or Europe? There's no in between. Yeah, same.

Yeah, good point, actually. And they're all gay men in Bali. And it's fucking illegal. It is. Is it actually illegal? You shouldn't make such bold statements. True. Jenna, can you Google that? Yes. Is gay actually illegal? You shouldn't make such bold statements. True. Jenna, can you Google that?

Yes. Is gayness illegal in Indonesia? I really liked the idea of going to Dubai or Abu Dhabi until I found out it's illegal to be gay and the heat is sweltering. You'll be sentenced to death in Dubai. Yeah, me of all people. Oh, God. But you're right. You could disguise as a beautiful woman and they might not touch you.

They might want to touch you. I'm not going to roll the dice on that one. No, I wouldn't. Do I enjoy my holiday as a lady or do I go to hang? Which one do I choose? I shouldn't have to make a choice. Well, Hayden and I didn't hold hands, but there were moments where we felt eyes on us. We booked in a massage, one of many, and it was the Royal Balanesian Couples Massage.

It's perfect timing for the music. And we get there and we go, hi, we're here for the massage. No way, just take a seat. Hey, now, can I ask what massage you're doing here if we don't have you on the system? I said, I booked yesterday. And they're like, we only have one booking for the Royal Couples Massage. No, that's us.

The look on her face. Shocked. Horrid. That there were two men booked in for the couple massage. Oh my God. She would have been like, I'm putting a room divider between you two. One of you is on the trundle bed on the floor.

You're not sleeping together or getting massaged together. Trundle bed. Isn't that what they're called? Yeah. Also, I broke the massage bed in the first book. Oh God. Because we had one and it was creaking the whole time and nuts and bolts Were falling out

Like the Poseidon Adventure Snapping in half And then the next day We booked another one And they said Sorry the massage bed Was broken yesterday And I went

Oh fuck I had nothing to do with it I swear No I'm innocent What's the verdict Jenna Can the gays go to Indonesia Yes they can But same sex marriage

Is illegal Oh well Yep We put up with that For long enough And adoption is as well Yeah Yeah no I'm still not really keen On the idea of going there Just based off what you've said Sex marriage is illegal. Oh, well. Yeah. We put up with that for long enough. And adoption is as well. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm still not really keen on the idea of going there,

just based off what you've said. Like, there's pockets of really nice things, but I feel like there's also a lot of grossness. Oh, yeah. Look, yeah, yes. You'd be turned off at the stray dogs. You're too much of an empath. You don't want to adopt them.

Oh, are they like, you feel sorry for them? Mange. Limps. Oh, I was going to say, I don't hate dogs, but like, oh yeah, no, I'd hate that. Our Uber driver one might run over one and kept driving. No, I couldn't. I couldn't do it. True story.

No. Still got five stars though. He was lovely. Let us plug in our iPhone. Oh my God. I don't really want to go there anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, this was brought to you by Tourism Indonesia.

Salamat pagi. Salamat pagi. Is it just me? That's enough of these two. Now let's hear, and is it just you? Okay, time for an Is It Just You? Mitch and I have done our ujum, so it's time to hand the privilege over to someone else. It's an honour we so seldom grant.

To an idiot. You can get in touch with us, slide into the DMs, couple of mitches. If you don't follow us yet, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook. Yeah, surely you follow us. That's how you found us in the first place, I would assume. Are we going to get a B-real? Like a couple of mitches B-real? Oh my God, that's not a dumb idea, actually.

That's social media? We take turns. But then do we both get the login or do one of... You know what I mean? That'd be weird. Yeah, I'd have to switch between accounts. I bloody love B-real, by the way. It's my new obsession. Well, I only have to switch between accounts. I bloody love Be Real, by the way. It's my new obsession.

Well, I only got it because Hayden was on it and I got it two days ago. And it was weird. Yeah, I was thinking, what's taking Mitch so long? Because I've had Hayden on it from day dot. Yeah. And then you'd always be in the Be Reels. And I'm like, why is he not getting FOMO? That is so in your nature to be like, I'm missing out.

Yeah. I didn't really know about it. No one told me. Really? It's bloody fun. Jenny, you need to get on it. Be Real. I know.

Now I want to get it. Get on it next it. No one told me, really. Bloody fun. Jenny, you need to get on it. Be real. I know, now I want to get it. Get on it next week. You should have it, please. For those who don't know what Be Real is, it's like a social media app. You only have your friends on it, so you can't go viral on there. No. But at a random time every day, everyone gets the same notification saying, quick, you've got two minutes. Yeah, it's a prank.

Take a photo of what you're doing. You get a photo of the outside camera and the inside camera. And so because there's like that time pressure of two minutes, you have to just be honest about what you're doing. There's no filtering. There's no uploading you from your best angles. And so it's fun. Like you all just post your grossness. It's great.

It's perfect for me. Often, more times than not, they're just very boring photos. How very dear you. I have a very interesting life. You do. You do. You were at the zoo the other day. It was interesting.

I really don't. It's getting annoying because every time I get a B-Rail notification, I was like, fuck, I'm in bed again. Yeah. Everyone's going to notice that I haven't changed my sheets. Yeah, a couple of Mitch's B-Rail might be coming. TBC. All right, let's do an easy juju.

Let's get an idiot on the line. All the way from Brisbane, Caitlin joins us. Hello, Katie. Hello, Caitlin. Hi. Are you good? I'm good, Mitchell. I know it's going to be your birthday when this podcast comes out,

so happy birthday. Oh, aren't you sweet, Caitlin? She remembered. Neither of you did. Oh, excuse me. Just you wait for the cake. I was actually waiting, Caitlin, to see if either of them remembered my birthday, but I'm glad you brought it up.

No, don't be bastard. This wasn't recorded on your birthday. But it's my birthday episode. We always figure out which episode's closest to the day. No, Caitlin, you dog. I will say we discussed and we have it in writing in the contract that is Is It Just Me Proprietary Limited. We don't celebrate birthdays anymore because we've gone all out

and we can never top what we've done. No, we said that we won't dedicate a whole birthday episode because you know how we used to, like, the whole episode was centred around the birthday, but we still do a little bit of hoo-ha. Like, Jenna got the jumper. I paid a sketch artist in a custom frame fabricator to get a picture of you with Dot Wiggins. Jenna!

I drove to the Shire to pick up a trolley for you. We talked about this. When? The other day. I was in Bali! No, you were here! I had Bali belly! Now look what you've done, Caitlin. You've started an day. I was in Bali! No, you were here! I had barley belly! Now look what you've done, Caitlin. You've started an argument.

I'm sorry. I feel awful. Alright, Caitlin, we'll fight off the air. Give us your region. We'll count you in. Bradley, we'll give you a little intro, then hit us, okay? Okay, cool. Is this something you've noticed, something you hate, or something you appreciate? Is it just me? Or... Does Bert Newton give you the same Something you appreciate. Is it just me or?

Does Burt Newton give you the same energy as a Humpty Dumpty Easter egg? Absolutely, yes. God rest his soul. Does Burt Newton give you the same energy as a Humpty Dumpty, to be specific, Easter egg? Humpty Dumpty varies, but we're talking about the Easter egg version. I can't picture it. Let me get it up. Well, when he's not wearing his, sorry, when he wasn't wearing his little hairpiece, the

toupee, and you got the bald Bert, definitely I see it. Bald Bert. Yeah. And can we just say we have nothing but the utmost respect for Bert and the Newton family. Absolutely. Have you been watching Neighbours, Caitlin? You know how it's finishing. Have you ever been a fan of Neighbours?

No, not really, to be quite honest. Well, I'm going to say this anyway, even if you don't give a flying fuck. Someone else who is giving Humpty Dumpty energy at the moment is Dr. Carl, because the actor who plays Dr. Carl has some sort of condition. I think it might be alopecia adjacent, or maybe it just is alopecia. And so he's lost his hair and eyebrows. And I remember tuning in. I saw something on the Neighbours Facebook page the other day

and I was like, is that Dr. Carl? It does not look anything like him anymore. So everyone that's going to be tuning in for the very final episode this week is going to be like, fuck me, what happened? What happened to Carl? I've got the egg up now and holy shit, yeah, it's Bert. It's Bert Newton. Yeah, it is, isn't it?

It's because his head was really shiny and they used to call him Moonface. That was his nickname. He's just had such a round head, you know? I mean, Bert would never be caught dead wearing that much colour. The Humpty Dumpty's too fruity for Bert. Here's a photo of Bert Newton. Oh, God. It's actually admirable how round that head is.

Anyway, Caitlin, thank you for that. You've won something from Jenna's prize cupboard, so make sure you hit her up on Instagram, okay? Congratulations. We'll send it out. By the way, you're in Brisbane. I'm assuming I know what you'll be up to on September 23 or September 24. You know it.

I'll be at your live show. Yay! Thank you, darling. I'll see you there. She did sound like there was a gun to her head. I will be at your live show. Reading off a prompter. Oh, God, love you, Caitlin. Thanks for listening, darling. I'll see you there. She did sound like there was a gun to her head. I will be at the live show. Reading off a prompter. Oh, God, love you, Caitlin.

Thanks for listening, Caitlin. I'll see you soon. Bye. See ya. Bit of self-promotion. If anyone else wants tickets to my Brisbane show, it's in September. Just link in bio on my Instagram, darling. It's a bit far out to be.

Oh, no. It'll be here before you know it. Yeah. Oh, well, sorry. No. No, go for it. Sorry for bringing it up. No, no, no. Say it. Say it. Link in bio, everybody, sorry. No. No, go for it. Sorry for bringing it up. No, no, no.

Say it. Say it. Link in bio, everybody. Okay. Are we all, Jen, did you have the apple? And you've got the cane, Mitchell? Mm-hmm. I'm ready for class.

I've got me chalk. TikTok school's in session. So there is the most random TikTok drama that I've been obsessed with recently. Oh, I love a good TikTok drama. Oh, same. It usually happens I love a good TikTok drama. Oh, same. It usually happens between like rival mummy TikTokers. Yes.

Like the parenting TikTok world is one I'm glad I'm not in. Yeah, or Doja Cat and Noah Schnapp from Star Wars. That was a big one. Well, this one's very different. You know those videos that you often see of people doing random acts of kindness? Oh, I have seen them. They always look a bit staged to me. Oh, yeah.

I actually hate them, to be honest. Yeah. I remember once a brand reaching out to me and asking me to do, as part of a brand deal, like random acts of kindness. What? And I'm like, it's already not random if I'm being paid to go out on the street and be like, hi, here's this whatever product. I don't know what they wanted me to do, but I just said no because I'm like, that is so insincere.

That's what I hate about these random act of kindness videos. But anyway, a few weeks ago there was this TikToker called Life of Harrison. And so he went up to some lady that was sitting by herself in a shopping centre, gave her a bunch of flowers and just said, oh, can you hold these for a second? Oh, I did see this. Oh, you saw it?

It was everywhere. Everyone was talking about this. A lot of people saw it. It got 65 million views in the end, but he said, yep, hold these flowers for me. She did, and then he just pissed off. Yeah. Left them with her. It was meant to be some wholesome surprise

and, I don't know, I can't read her expression at the end of the video, right? Because, you know, they were secretly filming her. Yeah. But all the comments are like, oh, that's so beautiful. You can tell that she really needed that. That made her day. But when I look at her facial expression, she looks fed up. Yeah.

Like, she looks really annoyed. Yeah, be a bit grateful, you cow. You're not given a bouquet of flowers. They're free. Just take them. It's such a hassle to carry them around. Oh, we'll get to that. We'll get to that.

Because she's no longer an anonymous old lady. She's come out. But first of all, when this video blew up, Harrison was, of course, going on about how good of a person he was. I think he did an interview on CNN, like globally. In the US? Yes. So this is what he said initially.

Okay, this is a TikToker. After I walked off and I said, have a good day, I actually had no idea how her reaction was but then when I saw her reaction and she actually cried I was just like wow it really just made me feel some type of way and then I remember afterwards I actually went back up to her and she was really grateful and just so happy and I know that's just something that she's going to remember for the rest of her life.

It just makes my heart feel full and happy just to give back. It's just something that's always been something that's just made me smile. Right. What do you mean give back? Like it's just assumed that she's less fortunate than you. Yeah. I bet she owns a home, Prick. Like, it's just assumed that she's less fortunate than you. Yeah. I bet she owns a home, Prick.

Like, you'll never be able to. I hate that when he acts like, oh, it just, I do it out of the kindness of my heart. You do it for the views, mate. Yeah. I'm sorry to be as cynic as usual, but no, you were not doing a good thing. I mean, she's still got flowers out of it though, right? Well, she has since come out and told her side of the story. Oh, wow. So this lady's name is Marie. Of course it is. And she says that, oh, I don't really do the TikTok or the Facebook.

And so she did what anyone her age would do. She wrote an email to her talkback station. Of course. And so she went on air to tell her side of the story. This is what Marie had to say. Tell us what happened to you. Well, I was just having a coffee. It was sort of late afternoon. Her phone line is so good. I bet she's using a home phone. Oh, that's a landline. That says everything you need to know about Marie, but go on. That's a nine five number. A guy came up and asked very politely whether I'd hold these flowers for him. It was a bunch of flowers, yeah. Yeah, so I did. Then he just strode off.

And anyway, then I saw the guys had been filming it and they denied it. Anyway, they obviously had. It was a friendly discussion. I said, look, do you want these flowers? I don't really want them. And, you know, I didn't want to carry them home in the tram, really, to be quite frank.

And they weren't to my taste, really. And anyway, they didn't want them. And then, yeah, so anyway, then people texted me and I began to realise that it had gone viral. And then there was the article. How did the article represent you, Marie? Well, you know, old woman, elderly woman, you know, heartbreaking tale. I just was, you know, quite offended.

At first it was just a bit of a joke to me and then I sort of felt dehumanised. And I also know that it's very quite small biggies in the scheme of things it's a small thing no no look we get it and no one's presenting this as the end of the world and while i've got people on text here saying oh my goodness she's just complaining about getting a bunch of flowers you know what's the problem what would you say to that marie i would say that um well you you'd be described in an article as an old lady and there I was, this pathetic old woman. There was even an implication that, you know, I was maybe homeless.

Oh, no, Marie. Marie is not happy. The flowers were not to her taste. And God forbid she had to trot them through the tram. That was my favourite part. Like I'm just picturing in her head, when you watch that viral video, like, people are thinking that she's crying because it's so kind and it made her day, but she's really thinking,

what the fuck are these BP servo flowers? Like, I don't want these disgusting things in my beautiful home. All my friends know I'm a daffodil lady. And she didn't want to take them on the tram? Put them in a fucking satchel Marie no I'm with her it's not about the flowers it's just about this kid like using her for views fuck that she should have been grateful also like you know who cares if people think you're homeless I guess she doesn't understand the social media and people will comment anything but yeah over it

but people are just reading into it and like they don don't know her or her story, but just at a glance they're like oh, she's some poor, miserable old bag lady. Like, oh, I would hate to be in that position. Also, they filmed her without her consent. And then lied about it. That actually makes it weird. And that Harrison kid did

another interview. This saga is still ongoing. He did an interview with the project and this is what he had to say about it. Marie, I apologise for what has happened and I would love to be able to owe you a coffee and to be able

to get you a bouquet of flowers that are more to your taste. We had to book our interview with Harrison through his talent agent. Narella Jenkins not happy. I just had to include that little bit in the audio. How condescending. Through his talent agent.

How would you book him? Yeah, the viral flower old lady homeless woman video guy, please. Just reaching out, yes. Have you ever actually done an act of kindness or experienced one? Because I have growing. My mum, gorgeous woman, you guys know Michelle Turi. So sweet, heart of gold. She, I vividly remember coming home from my sister's dance.

You know when, like, you were young and you couldn't drive yourself, so you just went everywhere with your mum? My sisters had to be picked up from dance, so I was just in the back seat of the car. And this homeless man was sitting on the side of the road, and mum stopped the car, and she felt so sorry for this man. She went, don't worry, I'm coming back. Like as if he was, you know, waiting for her.

He was like, weird, Michelle Churiga. So she drove a Honda Nimbus all the way to McDonald's drive-through, got him a Big Mac and a Coke and chips and then drove it back, got out of the car, gave it to him and he threw it at her. No. Oh, my God. He threw it back at her. He was so offended. I don't even think he was homeless in the end. I think he was just low on. No. Oh, my God. He threw it back at her. He was so offended.

I don't even think he was homeless in the end. I think he was just low on blood sugar and needed to sit down. But I vividly remember that moment. Yeah, see, maybe people don't like being on the receiving end of random acts of kindness. It would have been worse if she filmed it being like, how kind am I? Oh, God, no.

She wouldn't be able to do that. Mitchell, get the VHS out and start filming. I remember once I did something for a homeless person. Yeah. It was when I did something for a homeless person. Yeah. It was when I wanted to quit smoking. Right. And I decided, no, this is it. I'm going cold turkey.

And I gave the remains of my packet to a homeless person who for weeks on end had been saying, have you got a smoke, mate? And I thought, she'll love this. It made her day. Does that count as a renovative contract? Yes, yes, it does. I don't think Jenna thinks it does.

I gave her the rest of my ciggies. Mitchell. That's, I guess it's nice. As I said it out loud, I was like, no, that's not a random act. No, no, I'm with you on that. Anyway, I thought I would, I thought we'd do a bit of an experiment based on this because clearly after watching these videos

people probably think oh that person that was on the receiving end of the act of kindness might have actually been overjoyed it made their day but as we've learned doesn't happen all the time i want to see what reaction we get if you were to perform a random act of kindness oh in the office oh yeah in here in the radio station yes okay all right wow what do do? Just give him my love and affection? No, so I've got something for them here. Oh, he's got a bag. Did you click and collect that?

No, no. I went and got them. So you'll give them some flowers. Oh, that's beautiful. Here you go. I got some flowers. Yeah. It's two kilos.

So you just do exactly what Harrison did. Two kilos of plain white flour. Yeah. It's a plural of flour. Funny, funny. You just go up to someone and say, oh, sorry, mate, can you hold these flowers for me? And then you faff about for a bit. Right.

And then you just piss off and leave them with the flowers. Okay. And wait, so I give them and then I run off. Yeah. Okay. And so you just say, have a nice day at the end, as if you've just done something really beautiful for them. And when do I come back and go, punked?

You don't. Oh, okay. How are we going to secretly film this? Okay, well, I'm going to Zoom call the studio right now. Yeah. And then you take this phone down with you. Oh, so you'll have vision? Yep.

And so you just take that with you, hide it somewhere so I can watch the whole thing. Right, right. And then you're just going to have to call the studio. Okay. So I can hear you as well. And I'll have AirPods in. Yeah. Okay.

That's good. All right. So I'm calling the studio. I And I have AirPods in. Yeah. Okay. That's good. All right. So I'm calling the studio. I'll call the Zoom thing. There's a lot happening at once. You're going to have to answer my Zoom as well. Okay. Shit.

Hold on. Hello. I'm coming through the phone. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Okay. Great.

I'm going to put myself on mute. You can hear me. Oh, yep. Here we go. Oh, shit. Jenna's tits look good from the side. Thank you. All right.

Give me the phone. All right. AirPods going in. Yeah. If you're wearing AirPods, whoever you give the flowers to won't suspect a thing. True. I don't know if we made it clear what exactly the gift is. Okay, yeah, they're very funny.

The flowers are two one kilo plain flowers taped together. Very funny. These flowers. I'm going to hand them to this. Should you take them in the supermarket bag and then just pull them out? Oh, can you hold these flowers? Do you think? Yeah.

You know what? This is getting confusing. I'm just going to talk you through it as we're going. This will be fun. So your first task, Mitchell, pay attention. Class is in session. Yes, I'm listening. Your first task is just go find a random victim.

Not in the kiss area because they know us too well. Go downstairs. The finance and the sales and the marketing team. All right, I'm going now. Take the stairs. Okay. Okay, off he goes. Just a quick test.

You can hear me on the phone, yeah? I can hear you on the phone loud and clear. Beautiful. Okay, perfect. There he goes. Is the CEO's assistant there at her little admin desk? No one's there. It is a Friday.

I think head downstairs. There's actually no one on this level. It's like a ghost town. I'm getting in a Friday. I think head downstairs. There's actually no one on this level. It's like a ghost town. I'm getting in a lift. Okay, you're heading downstairs, are you? Level one is marketing, sales and finance. There's only two levels in this place. Yeah.

But we're the penthouse, obviously, of level two. Of course. Oh, they've done a fresh paint job down there. It's different to when I worked here. Oh, my God, there's someone there. Perfect. Perfect. God, they've done a fresh paint job down there. It's different to when I worked here. Oh, my God. There's someone there. Perfect.

Perfect. God, why is it so empty on Fridays? No one comes to work. Quiet. What do I do? I'm going to go find these people. I don't think they can hear us, Mitchell. We're in your fucking airport.

True. I can be as loud as I want. Tits. I'm going to go up and say, I can help as fast as I can. They're going to walk away. Hang on. Step one is hide the phone somewhere so I can see them. Okay, and what's my line again?

Just, oh, excuse me, can you hold these flowers? And then you have to faff about for a bit. I'm hyperventilating. Oh, my God, here we go. Oh, my God, I love how much you're freaking out about this. Yeah. That's the sales report. Yeah.

Oh, my God. I'm excited for it. Oh, okay. Is that chick in the corner there in the blue? You're going to get her? Yeah. Hey, guys. Hi, everyone.

Oh, my God. Good. I'm already confused. Can you hold these flowers for me? Absolutely. What? I'm walking off. This is so awkward.

Have a nice day. have a nice day. Have a nice day. Have a nice day. Oh my gosh. She thinks it's a bomb. Did you see her freak out? Why is she holding them above her head like that? What's happening?

I can't see. I'm around the corner. Wait till you get back up here. What do I do? Do I go and say surprise? No, just come back up. We'll keep an eye on her. Are you sure?

They're still above her head. Oh, fuck. I think she's spotted the camera. Oh, wait. Oh, no. Oh, my God. That is horrendous. She's so confused.

I think she knows she's on camera. She's put them aside. Mitch, which fader is the Zoom fader? Because I want to hear what she's saying. It's Skype. Hold on. Skype fader. I'm coming back.

Hi, everyone. We are properly eavesdropping on the sales level now. I just turned her audio on. Oh, I'm back in the studio. You left your phone. Did you just hear her yell at us? No one's there. Where'd she put the flowers? You left your phone. Did you just hear her yell at us? I want that. Where'd she put the flowers?

Hey, that's a good angle from me. Yeah. Well done. Did you see me shaking? Oh, they're playing this song again. She's not happy with what's on the radio. She's bitching about my network. All right, quiet everyone.

I'm going to play a really obnoxious sound effect. Okay. Okay, I'm going to unmute. I don't know if my phone volume is on though. No, it might work. You never know. I'm unmuting, quiet everyone. I'm going to play a really obnoxious sound effect. Okay. Okay, I'm going to unmute. I don't have my phone volumes on though. No, it might work. You never know. I'm unmuting, Rennie. Oh.

Oh. Hi. Oh, here we go. This is for you. Oh, no, they're for you. We insist. They're for you. They're your flowers.

They're for you. Take them. Oh, my God, they're my flowers. Thank you. It's a random. They're for you. Take them. Oh, my God, they're my flowers. Thank you. It's a random act of kindness we've just done. Beautiful. Welcome to ARN. Exactly.

Is that it? No, she doesn't sound happy. She's just like Marie. Yeah. What? I am happy. Are those flowers to your liking? Absolutely love them.

They're my favourite. Sorry, Tunnel. I'm just hanging up on her. This is why you don't do random act of kindnesses. Yeah, I told you. No, in the end it never works. I was Team Marie all along. Okay, well, I don't want my flowers back.

I want my phone back. Oh, your phone's down there. Oh, shit. You're going to have to go and get it. Fuck that I am. Listening on Spotify, don't forget to leave a five-star rating. You're listening to Is It Just Me? Before we go, Mitchell, you really didn't think that we'd let you have a birthday episode

without celebrating your birthday. How could we? If truth be told, I really did think you would. No, no, no. Don't be silly. Never. We'd never forget you. Michael, Mitch, it's Mitchell.

Yes, yes it is. It's Mitchell. Oh, so this is another random act of kindness. Hopefully this one goes to plan. Jenna and I discussed via Bali what we could do to celebrate your birthday. And we both went to the drawing board and we came back with one gift each. That's fair. We don't want to flap about.

So I've organised something and Jenna has organised something. So you get to pick now, Mitchell. Whose gift do you want first on your birthday? Why don't I get both? You do get both. But just which one first? I thought you said you have to choose, Mitchell. It's like double or nothing.

You get one or the other. You know both our salaries, so you pick mine. Oh, okay. Who would have gotten me a better present? Well, they're very different. Very. And you'll get them both in the end. Hold on, I'll give you a dramatic drone.

A birthday drone. Is there a random party blower in there? A birthday drone with a... So stupid. I know, Lauren's calling me. Oh, right in the middle of the drone. Selfish. Forget my birthday.

Go back to Lauren. Get her up. Hello? Where are you? I'm upstairs in the studio. Can you come up in the Kiss studio? With my phone? Bring the phone.

Absolutely. Oh, you're here. Oh, shit. That was quick. Come in. Come in. Hi. Take a seat, Jenna.

Can you give her a mic? Yes. How are you doing? Sorry, you poor thing. You'll never come to work on a Friday again. That's Mitchell. Thank you. I wanted him to give flowers to someone in the building,

and you're one of the only people here. What number is that, Gemma? Oh, Lauren, I'm... Testing. One, two. Thank you. I'm bringing the phone back. I am so sorry because they made me do it and I had to drop it and run.

It was so awkward. That's okay. And we only met once. I'll forgive you. Was that the first time you'd met? No, we met in the lift. Oh, okay. Well, I'm also Mitchell.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Hope you like your flowers. Lauren, on the first day I met you. You did. You were like, oh, she's got nice hair. Yes. Well, you do have lovely hair.

She's got nice hair. Yeah. Well, listen. So do you. It's Mitch's birthday. Oh. Meet this one. Happy birthday.

Thank you. Oh, God. This is meant to be about you and your act. How old do you think he is? Oh, I hate this guy. Oh, so do I. Is this like am I digging myself a hole in the ground? No, no, just be honest.

Be honest and remember that I did give you flowers. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Premium flowers. I'm going to go say 19. Oh, my God. Oh, she's good. She went into sub-20s. You're lying, but I appreciate it. I'm not lying. She's really good. She went into sub-20s. You're lying, but I appreciate it.

I'm not lying. She's really good. No, I've realised that in my early 20s people would always say, oh, my God, you're 23, you look 18. But somewhere along the line I just started looking my age. People are like, you're 25. And I'm like, yeah, that's bang on. What happened?

What happened? I just started looking my age. You look great. Now, Lauren, we're in the middle of a decider. So it's Mitch's birthday. So Jenna has a gift for him. I have a gift for him. Amazing.

We're about to both present it. Who do you think should go first out of Jenna and I? I think I'll go with Jenna. Let's give it to Jenna. All right. Jenna, what have you got for me? Is Lauren going to be here for the gifts? If you want.

I mean, if you've got work to do. We've bothered you enough. What's your role here? I'm okay. I'm the promotion specialist. Oh. Works with me. So what do you do? I don't know what that means. What do I do? I

basically gather all the prizes. Oh my god, it's Prize Keeper Lauren. Yeah, yeah. You're an actual Prize Keeper. Yeah, absolutely. Jenna does your job for this podcast. It's a way full at it. Awesome. She is terrible. Alright, and you want Jenna's gift first. Yeah, absolutely. Jenna does your job for this podcast. It's woeful at it. Oh, awesome. She is terrible. All right, and you want Jenna's gift first.

Yeah, let's go, Jenna. Okay. Jenna, you can give Mitch your gift up to you. Okay. Well, my gift is more of a performance. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Jenna, don't, don't, don't.

She's pulling out of her bag. I know what's happened. A Lucite recorder. Hey! Hey! Oh. Mitch? Mitch? And now play the hip-hips.

Well done. Wow, that was really touching, Jenna. Fantastic. Mitch. I know exactly what's happened. What? I know exactly what's happened. What? I know exactly what's happened. What? Remember a couple of weeks ago,

Jenna said that she could do Just Give Me a Reason by Pink and Nate Roos or whatever it is. She said she could play that on the recorder. I ordered that recorder and I paid for that recorder so she could play it on the podcast. Jenna. I've been practising a lot. I can play one thing by one direction.

I'm surprised that you were able to just pull Happy Birthday out of your your ass like that. Yes. Yeah, wow. Well, no, I've been practising for your birthday. Do you have any requests, Mitchell, for Jenna? No. No, I do want to hear just give me a reason.

This has ruined what we had planned for next week, but whatever. Yes, that will come. Should we hold that for next week? That's a good tease. It's not. No, it is. It's going to be. We're going to lose listeners if they know that's in store next week.

Do you remember it off my heart? I've got the notes here. The notes. Here we go. She's been to band camp. Clearly. I don't want to touch that recorder. don't I, about you It was originally white Now look at it

It's beige now, just so you're all across it Little bit's enough Well, thank you, Jenna, you tried Thank you, Jenna Can I play Shallow, please? Oh, one more, it. You tried. Thank you, Jenna. Can I play Shallow, please? Oh, one more. It's Mitch's birthday bonanza.

Please. I learnt it for Mitchell. Let me just get it up. If it's my birthday, shouldn't my response to should I play one more be granted? I love that Lauren is sitting here for this instead of working. How long have you worked here? This is my third week. Oh, so you're now thinking, what the fuck?

What the fuck have I stepped into? Week four next. I don't want to be rude, but I think it's time for my gift. Don't you think? Jenna? Are you ready for my gift? Jenna? Jenna, I think my gift is waiting on hold. I feel like her performance isn't over till the fat lady sings,

so please, Mitchell. There we go. Put the fucking recorder away. Thank you, Jill. More songs will come as I learn them. What a lovely gift. Thank you. Let's go over to my gift now that I organised.

Mitch, I thought who better to bring in your 26th year than someone you are a major fan of. I went through my little black book of celebrity contacts and I got the biggest star that I know you adore and love. I've been planning this for weeks. The one and only Big Brother fame, Tim Dormer, is here. Hello, Missy boy. Timmy.

Happy birthday. Hi, Tim. How are you? I'm good. I didn't know you were a fan. Hi, Tim. How are you? I'm good. I didn't know you were a fan. I'm a big fan of you. I didn't know I was a fan either. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a big fan of Tim. I am, actually. I've actually met Tim a couple of times, but it's okay. Well, close on. I'm just trying to remember. Tim, it's Mitch's birthday, and he always talks about you.

He always talks about the show show and he watched the show. So I thought I'll get you on. I had you in my car because you've been on my radio show a bunch of times. So here you are with Mitch. Mitch, anything you want to say to Tim on your birthday show? Oh, I just feel like you're coming for my long hair, dude, bro. There's only room for one of us, okay? Okay?

Imagine our drains if we were in a relationship together. We'd have to plumb around every weekend. Absolutely putrid. Imagine our vacuum filter. God. Disaster. YouTube couldn't be in a relationship. You can't rub your bums together.

That's ridiculous. Just a bit of edgy humour. Tim can take it. Well, now, this is a beautiful moment. Tim, Jenna is here. Jenna's our third wheel on the show. Hi. Hey, Jenna.

So is Lauren. Don't ask about Lauren. It's a long story. Do you have a song? What's going on? Tim, Jenna learnt the recorder. She spent weeks learning the recorder for Mitch's birthday show. Do you have a song you want her to play for him in this very moment?

Look, it's got to be the classic song for the recorder, Three Blind Minds. Oh, what a song. Alright, so this is... Goody but an oldie. Requested by Tim Dormer for his friend Mitchell Coombs, performed by Jenna, viewed by Lauren. Let's go,

Jenna, when you're ready. I feel like Tim, Lauren and I are all at once thinking, what the fuck have I gotten myself into? Too many times a day. All right, here we go. This is for you, Mitchell, from Tim. I don't think that's how it goes. Yeah.

I wish I was a deaf mouth. Come on, call a cat. Jesus Christ. Thank you, Jenna. Thanks, Jenna. And I already request that Mitch puts the recorder up a different hole. No! Okay, I'm putting the recorder away now.

It's going away. I certainly haven't learned to queef there, Tim. I don't know about you. That content lives behind a paywall, Tim Dormer. A pleasure. Mitchell Coombs' biggest celebrity crush, Tim Dormer, on the line. Thank you for hanging out. And it's a shame you didn't win Big Brother, but we love you.

You should have won Big Brother. Thank you. And make sure you have a good birthday, all right, Mitch? I'll do my best, Tim. Hey, Tim, plug your new podcast. You've got a new podcast out as well. Oh, yeah. Big Mouth with Tim. It's number one on Spotify. I've no idea why. I've got to best, Tim. Hey, Tim, plug your new podcast. You've got a new podcast out as well. Oh, yeah, Big Mouth with Tim.

It's number one on Spotify. I've no idea why. I've got to keep it up. But, I mean, I've hit the topic and I only go down from here. First thing you've topped in your life. Tim Dormer, everybody. Thank you so much. We love you. See you, buddy.

Thank you for coming on. See you. Bye. What a good man, Mitch. Your biggest celebrity crush. Bet that was a big moment for you. Yes, it was Sorry, Lauren

Lauren can go Thank you, Lauren Thank you Thank you, Lauren Mitch has his phone No worries Thanks, Lauren Bye

She was impressed Happy birthday What did you just do to me? Bye, Lauren. Bye. She was impressed. Happy birthday. What did you just do to me? Happy birthday. We told you we'd never forget. And we didn't. Nope.

Look, I could be jumping to conclusions. And please tell me if I'm wrong. But after we got off the phone with Caitlin, who reminded you both that it's my birthday and I said, I've got to piss. I'm going to leave the studio. You were like, fuck, what do we do? Yeah, I went straight to my contacts. Okay, so that was your last minute scrambling. It didn't happen.

Yeah. Okay, well, it's not that I disliked him, but I know for a fact I've never, ever expressed any opinion about him, whether I do or don't like him. And Jenna, I bought you that recorder. Yes, but I played this beautiful song for you. We love you, and that took months of planning. Yeah, it did. Happy birthday.

Thanks. Happy birthday. That's us done. We're back from break, baby, and we are rearing and ready to go. Yeah. What a pleasure. All right, Mitch, he's just on a high from meeting his celeb crush. Yeah, that's it. All right, guys, thank you for listening to the show. It was a pleasure. Great right, Mitch. He's just on a hire from meeting his celeb crush. Yeah, that's it.

All right, guys. Thank you for listening to the show. It was a pleasure. Great episode. Thanks for listening, idiots.

We love you. If you missed any of it, just listen back. Just rewind to your heart's content. Measure with your heart.

Rewind three minutes, four minutes, whatever you think was best. Get us on TikTok and Instagram, couple of Mitches, and we'll see you back next week for a new episode. Love you.

Leave us a five-star review as well. Yes, five-star rating on Spotify. Thanks, idiot. See ya. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of Mitches. Make sure you hit follow on your podcast app. Welcome to A to D Brief. This is our secret segment on the end.

We pretend we're gone and then we just keep chatting away. We rabbit on. Yeah, this is the unplanned, unstructured bit. You check under the table, is Lauren still here? Oh no. Godmother. Overstayed the welcome. I wasn't sure if she was going to give me the phone and the unplanned, unstructured bit. You check under the table. Is Lauren still here? Oh, no. God, mother. I overstayed the welcome. I wasn't sure if she was going to give me the phone and the flowers back, but she actually

kept the flowers. Did she really? Oh, yeah, she did. Did she not bring them? Have you seen them? Oh, my God. The hide. Oh, my God.

No, no. It was a random act of kindness. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's her prerogative. How did you like your birthday surprises, Mitchell? Don't. What?

I can't believe you guys actually forgot. We didn't forget. We planned it. We honestly didn't. The other day we did discuss it and then this happened. This happened. Oh, right. And that's genuine.

So you did remember and then chose not to do anything. That's worse. No. That's worse. No, no, that's not what happened. That's worse. No you did remember and then chose not to do anything. That's worse. No. No, no. That's worse. No, no. That's not what happened. That's not worse.

No. I think it is. No. No, no, no. I want that Dot Wiggins sketch back so I can burn it. It's on my wall in my spare room for my guests to see as they drift off to sleep in our house. And you can give me that fucking wandering Aussie jumper back as well. I wear it every night.

You can give back the friendship with Tim Dormer, superstar Big Brother reality show contestant. Oh, that was such an awkward position to put me in because I didn't want to say, I'm not a fan of Tim Dormer because that would make him feel bad. It's not that I'm not. I've never said either way. I do like him, but it doesn't make my day.

I've met the bastard. I have spoken to him before. Jenna learnt an instrument for you. I did. the bastard. I have spoken to him before. Jenna learned an instrument. For you? I did. She already knew how to play it. She told us that and that's why I got the recorder delivered to the station. That was ten years ago. This week I did learn how to play it again. Well, happy birthday.

Happy birthday. Thanks. 26. What's the point? What? 26. What's the point? It's a weird age. 27's a nice number. Yeah, 27's a nice number. Yeah, 27 is a nice number. She really knows how to kick me while I'm down. Why?

She's like, 27's a nice number. That's not applicable to you at all. Next year. No, wait until- Your number. Disgusting. I'm 27 this year. Yeah, but wait until you're 27. It's going to be a massive celebration.

Just get prepared, Mitch, for it. For what? For 27. it'll be huge If anyone remembers We remember don't be ridiculous I can't believe Caitlin remembered and you didn't The 25th of July is that correct? 25th Monday

But your real gift is you're getting it on your birthday You're not getting it early Don't lie to me You are You should see what I've got for you next week. Shut up, Jenna. You should see what she's got planned for your 27th. Oh, come on.

We did not forget your birthday. I don't want this narrative. We didn't forget it. We did discuss it. And then? And thought of this. I booked Tim Dormer. Okay, you need to let that bit go.

And you need to stop looking me in the eye and saying, we didn't forget, because you clearly did. No, we didn't. There's no point in lying about it. I'm not just going to go, oh, alright. Yeah, well then. I actually brought it up with Patrick the other day. The therapist? Yeah. What was said? I said that I was worried that

I'm not enough of a priority in anyone's life that I don't think anyone's going to remember my birthday. Oh, don't make it. That's not true. That's ridiculous. It's happened. I thought, I didn't know we were back this week. As if we have forgotten your birthday.

You have. No, I promised. We haven't forgotten your birthday. You said nothing until Caitlin brought it up. Yes. Because I thought we were doing it next episode. Yeah, we didn't do it on the podcast. Not the episode that comes out on my birthday.

No, I didn't think of that. Right. I didn't do it on the podcast. Not the episode that comes out on my birthday. No, I didn't think of that. I didn't think we were recording. I don't want any grovelling next week. I think you'll get it. No. It's happened. We'll move on. Can I play another good song? Absolutely not. Jenna, I think that'd be salt to the

wound. It wouldn't be salt. It'd be fucking kerosene in the wound. It'd be tequila in the eyes. It'd be acid in the wound. Pepper spray in the wound. It wouldn't be salt. It'd be fucking kerosene in the wound. It'd be tequila in the eyes. It'd be acid in the wound. Pepper spray in the wound. Yeah, maybe. Jenny, can you snap the recorder? Is it in your power to break it? No, I'm not. I'm going to learn better songs. And now we're a segment

down. We're going to do Jenny's recorder recital. Oh yeah, fuck. Now we're out of content for next week. Yeah, I can do a proper one. What do you call that then? That was practice. I learnt the happy birthday and they just give me a reason. Not

Shallow. Shallow's coming. I really don't want to hear it. We didn't forget your birthday. It's a Gaga song. Keep your mitts off Gaga, please. Yeah, not only did you absolutely murder the recorder, but you butchered his favourite artist. Yes, a better one is coming.

No, we've done the recorder thing now. I think we're done. I'm going to bring it again next week. Mitchell, are you going to go? No, I can tell you where you can put the recorder. No. Are you going to the Chromatica Ball? No.

Why not? It looks shit. Hayden was very devastated when he watched the YouTube videos. I really want to talk to him about it. He was watching it the other night, and he started with, this is great. Because she was up in that weird costume and then about 10 minutes in he hadn't said anything. I'm like, what? It's great?

He said, no, it's terrible. Yeah. No, we, Wednesday 7am only on Spotify. We did a full debriefing on Trash Alley about Chromatic Appal. Oh, really? Yeah. Because Matt and I were going to fly to New York and see it. Oh.

And then we were like, thank God we didn't because it looked so shit. Yeah, it's bad. I just wanted the pink hair. She looked like Gwen Stefani. Same. No, I wanted a better set. It looks so depressing. And she opened with bad romance.

Yeah, dumb. Dumb. That's like the closing song. That's the big number. Yeah, and I don't think she nailed it. And the closing number's terrible as well. Yeah. What is it, Hold My Hand?

Yeah, Hold My Hand, yeah. Fuck off. No one liked that song. I liked it, but it's not the closing song at your fucking ball. Also, isn't a ball meant to be, like, wild and fun and like a party? Extravagant. Yeah, it feels a bit like I'm watching Blade Runner, reviewing it for HSC English.

Well, Gaga. They used to all be called balls. Her shows. Yeah. It was like the monster ball, born this way ball. And then Joanne wasn't a ball. And obviously everyone was outraged that it was just Joanne World Tour. So she's like, fine, I'll put a ball on for Kermadeca.

So did she? Wait, so she didn't do the Joanne ball? No, she did it, but it wasn't called that. I guess she couldn't. That was a very slow album. The Joanne ball. Let's all fucking rave to my dead aunt. That'd be a Joanne dosy-do.

I remember I went to a cremation. She should have called it the Joanne Wake. The Joanne Service. No, the Wake. It's the after party. The after party, yeah. All right. So no Chromatica Ball for you.

Oh, I mean, if it comes to Sydney, I'll fucking go. But I'm not going to go out of my way. I got tickets to Billie Eilish this week. I think I'm excited for that. Oh, yeah. She'll be good. Very sad, though, as well. Very sad show. I thought it was a...

Isn't this her happy bitch era? Like a happier than ever or whatever? Yeah, but it's like, yeah, happier than ever. But the songs are all sadder than ever. Oh. She's just a sad... I think a sad person. I'll give her Patrick's number.

Should we get Patrick on as a guest? No. That's so inappropriate. I don't want a therapist. I'm on my entertainment podcast. I don't think they're allowed to. Oh, is that a breach of? I think so.

Maybe I should ask him and just see what his reaction is. Oh, my God. We could do a voice decoder. Nah. Nah. That's crossing a line. We could put him on the voice decoder. Just ask him if he's keen to do it. decoder. Nah. That's crossing a line. We could put him on the voice decoder. Just ask him if he's keen to do it.

I'm not asking my therapist to come on. Because then you'd ask him. I know what you'd do. You'd ask him, oh, what's Mitch been discussing? Confidentiality. He can't tell you. True. No, we'll get him on and I'll say I was right.

They didn't remember. Mitchell, we didn't forget your birthday. I promise. We didn't. We didn't. I thought we weren't doing anything on the show. I didn't remember. Mitchell, we didn't forget your birthday. I can promise. We didn't. We didn't. I thought we weren't doing anything on the show. I didn't even know there was a show. You knew yesterday.

Okay, what did you have? What was this discussion that you had? Who? You two, because you said we spoke about it. It was outside the kitchen on Wednesday. I thought he was in Bali. No, this week. I've been here all week.

You said, oh, we discussed via Bali. No, when I was in Bali, we were messaging. Was it outside the kitchen or was was in Bali. No, I've been here all week. You said, oh, we discussed via Bali. No, when I was in Bali, we were messaging. Was it outside the kitchen or was it in Bali? Both, because in person, it was outside the kitchen on a Wednesday. It was before your Ty Virtus interview. Oh, yeah, because I said, Jenna, do you want to come and see Ty? Don't bring him into this, Jenna. And Jenna said no.

Not a good time. And then I said, we'll both organise something. I'll organise something for my little black book and you do something. And Jenna did the recorder and I had something for my little black book and you do something. Yes. And Jenna did the recorder and I had something for my little black book. Really? It's hilarious. I packed this recorder as soon as I found out that we were recording.

I'm not even joking. I had it in my bag all night. Right. No, but we didn't forget. And neither of you paused to think what I gave you on your birthdays I didn't think it was a birthday episode I don't know where you got the idea that we just don't discuss each other's birthdays on the podcast No, I thought we discussed it, but I didn't think we did things for birthdays

Even though three weeks ago or whatever I gave Jenna her thing on her birthday I truly don't remember that What did we get you for your birthday? My Simone J. McKinnon Oh, the merch, the merch, the merch. Yeah. Yeah, look, we did not forget your birthday. I promise.

Right. I promise. Oh, okay. Well, let's just roll with that. You didn't forget. Absolutely. I'm just going to get my inner brat on and say your gifts were shit compared to what I gave you. You can say that.

Absolutely shit. Is that all I mean to you? No. No. Awful, awful, awful. No. that. Absolutely shit. Is that all I mean to you? No. No. Awful, awful, awful. No. Did you keep the docket? Because I want to return it.

Tim Dormer almost won. Almost won what? Big brother. Mitchell, it also hasn't even been your birthday yet. So you can't be mad at us for not celebrating something that hasn't even happened. You're gaslighting me right now. I'm not gaslighting you. Because you both said, oh, it's Mitchell's birthday for that episode.

What should we do? I thought it was next episode. You're contradicting yourselves because you. Because you both said, oh, it's Mitchell's birthday for that episode. What should we do? I thought it was next episode. You're contradicting yourselves because you said that you agreed. We did. That you would do it this week and that you packed the recorder especially. And now you're saying you thought you were doing it next week. Which one is it? I packed the recorder for this episode.

I learnt happy birthday. Why'd you pack it for this episode if you thought it was next week? Because I wanted to do it. I wanted to play. Give Me a Reason. If you guys are going to lie, get your stories right. Yeah, Jenna, we need to just stop. That's the truth. I was going to play Just Give Me a Reason.

That's why I got the notes. But I thought you said you didn't know we were doing an episode. I didn't until yesterday. No. Well, yesterday was Thursday, but you said on Wednesday you discussed it and you were bringing in the recorder. Yeah, for next week. No, for today because you said that you put your recorder in your bag last night.

Yes, but that wasn't especially. Mitchell, we didn't do anything for your birthday on the show, but we haven't forgotten your birthday in real life. I just want to give her a shovel so she can keep digging herself this hole. It's a truth. None of it's true because none of it adds up. I didn't think there was a show, but when I found out, I put the recorder in because

I was going to play a song. Right. On Wednesday, we discussed the birthday, but I didn't realise it was this week's. We did discuss it. We did discuss it. But we didn't do anything for this birthday show. None of this is making your cause any better. No, but-

I'm just telling you. I just haven't forgotten. The fact that you remembered the birthday, but still chose to do nothing. That makes it worse, actually. It'd be better if you just forgot. We definitely, okay, it might be better, but we didn't forget. It's another story. No, that's the truth.

We didn't forget. We genuinely didn't forget. I just did not think we did things on the podcast, but that is my error. We're going in circles now. Why do you think that? Because we've done things. No, but I swear we had the discussion to not do it. To do full episodes.

Yeah. Because I remember your first one, it was like birthday messages. I made a big montage. Yeah, it was heaven. And my first birthday podcast, you did like the surprise guests and all that. Multiple guests, many guests. Yeah. And then we're like, oh, let's not do full on dedications.

But we'll do something. Well, we're sorry. Yeah. But we didn't forget your birthday. You need to stop saying that. Maybe we haven't. It hasn't happened yet. Anyway.

I don't want to gaslight you. I just don't want you to think that we forgot. Anyway, this is terrible listening for the audience. Yeah, no, I'm glad they're getting the truth. We should probably go. Alright, guys, thanks for listening. Yep, thanks for listening, idiots It's been a great show, I thought it was a great show

I thought Tim Dormer in the quarter was great entertainment And I'll be honest, I saw that option I thought, that's hilarious, let's go down that route And it was fun I'm glad you had fun Oh, as if you didn't have fun We'll catch you next week, idiot Listen back to the audio, it's very fun and very entertaining

And you having a great time. Gaslighting. You were! I wasn't! I'm on your face with Tim Norma, your celebrity crush. Oh, God. All right, let's go. All right, say the prayer.

What? Say the prayer. Oh. Yeah. You do it. No, no, that'll break tradition. I'm in no mood. It's bad luck. It's bad luck. No, just do it. The whole thing. No, you have to say it. You do it. No, no, that'll break tradition. I'm in no mood. It's bad luck.

It's bad luck. No, just do it. The whole thing. No, you have to say it. I'm leaving, whether we do it or not, because I'm fucking over this, all right? Okay. We hope this podcast makes you feel 2% better. Go on.

Say your line. Oh, we bit. No, you have to say it. Oh, my God. Look at this. I just got a message from Callum, one of our listeners. He sent me a gift. What did he say?

It's in the mail. But it's too early, Callum. No, it'll get here in time. Oh, look at this. I just got a message from Callum, one of our listeners. He sent me a gift. What did he say? It's in the mail. But it's too early, Callum. No, it'll get here in time. Oh, that's nice. So will our gifts that are arriving on the day. Shut up. They will. So we do.

So we do. Thank you. There we go. Awful end to the episode. Tell me about it. Yeah. All right. See you next week.

Thank you, idiots. I appreciate you listening. See ya. Love ya. Bye. Bye. Bye. We can't end it like that. That's too depressing. I don't care. Alright, see you next week Thank you idiots, I appreciate you listening Love ya, bye We can't end it like that, that's too depressing I don't care How do you think I feel?

You didn't forget your birthday Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches Make sure you've hit follow On your podcast app Podcast time.